Is one morning of runny eggs and burnt toast really fair payback for 364 days of work? Does "Mother's Day" have to mean packing the kids for a two-hour drive to see your mom and/or mother-in-law? Why does Mother's Day often feel like it's more trouble than it's worth?

Margaret and Amy discuss:

• Anna Jarvis and the rather tragic origins of Mother's Day
• "minor Mother's Day" vs "major Mother's Day," and how to deliver that message
• How to ask for—and get—the Mother's Day that feels right for you

Margaret mentions "The Lanyard" by Billy Collins in this episode.

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Mother's Day, making mom feel special mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, mothers day, mother's day gift ideas

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This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

"Mom guilt" is shorthand for what we think are two pretty different things:

• the universal, low-grade feelings of inadequacy that our soccer snacks aren't as good as Monica's
• the intense, deeply personal shame that we are definitely the only horrible parent who has ever allowed their baby to roll off the changing table

Yes, we take on these feelings of guilt and shame—but society is pretty quick to hand them to us. In this episode we discuss

• why there isn't such a thing as "dad guilt"
• why mom guilt might serve as a sort of magical thinking
• if we can at least skip the feeling guilty about HAVING mom guilt part

Here are links to some studies and other writing on this topic that we discuss in this episode:

• Lara Bazelon for The Atlantic: The End of Mom Guilt
• Amy Paturel for The Washington Post: Why we feel 'mom guilt'—and how to stop
• Fresh Take: Dana Dorfman on When Worry Works
• Fresh Take: Carla Naumburg on Why You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent
• Fresh Take: Sara Petersen on "Momfluencers"
• Fresh Take: Susan Linn on How 'Big Tech' Targets Our Kids
• Batram-Zantvoort, Stephanie et al, Frontiers in Global Women's Health: "Maternal self-conception and mental wellbeing..."   

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,

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How can we tear our kids away from the increasingly addictive video games they can't get enough of? Dr. Alok Kanojia, author of the book HOW TO RAISE A HEALTHY GAMER, explains how to talk to kids about their video game addiction.

Dr. Kanojia is a former gaming addict and a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who has developed evidence-based programs that helped tens of thousands of gamers overcome their addiction.

Margaret and Dr. Kanojia discuss:

• Signs that someone is addicted to something and why gaming can fill a void
• How to talk to your gamer about healthy habits
• Enforcing boundaries around gaming and dealing with resistance to those boundaries

Here's where you can find Dr. Kanojia:

• Follow Dr.K's podcast HealthyGamerGG https://open.spotify.com/show/6VaJwyS2KXxiXqR77jqzmP
• Check out Dr.K's Book, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer https://bit.ly/4c8BNkr    
• Healthy Gamer Website https://www.healthygamer.gg/  
• Instagram: @healthygamergg
• X: @dralokkanjia
• YouTube: @healthy gamer GG
• TikTok: @healthygamer.gg

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, gaming, gaming addiction, video games, video game addiction, kids gaming addiction

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Are you worried your picky eater will never eat a vegetable as long as they live? Here are some parenting tips for picky eaters—and some updates on Amy and Margaret's own picky eaters since recording our very first episode 8 years ago! (It's good news.)

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• Why it's helpful to make food the least interesting thing at the dinner table
• How to maintain your own sanity around mealtimes by meeting kids where they are
• Why dinnertime is actually the worst time of day to get kids to try new foods
• How pairing and "food chaining" can help expand your picky eaters' palates

Here is a link to one of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Benioff Childrens Hospitals: Picky Eaters

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manifest reality, positive thinking, toxic positivity, magical thinking, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities,

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Parenting as a team is an ongoing challenge– even when your relationship with your co-parent is usually harmonious. But matching headspaces with your co-parent about a problem your family, or one of your children, is dealing with doesn't have to be the goal. 

Parenting as a team can often mean taking turns, whether it's with the pancake-flipping, the hard talks with teenagers, or the 3 am worried Googling of ICD-10 diagnoses. In this episode we talk about what’s worked for us in moments of disagreement or struggle with our spouses, and how we found common ground.

If getting through the pandemic meant zooming in, just getting to the next lamppost, parenting as a team means zooming way out. If you know you're on the same page about the adults you want your children to become, it's a little easier to chill out about how they’ll get there. 

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Amy and Margaret discuss their "Pre-Cana" experiences in the Catholic Church, and the usefulness of the Engaged Encounter program in particular. To find out more: engagedencounter.com

Buy WHAT CHILDREN LEARN FROM THEIR PARENTS' MARRIAGES: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780060929305

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity

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Why are stereotypes of teenage girls rarely flattering? And what important traits are we not acknowledging in these young women? Chelsey Goodan, author of the new book UNDERESTIMATED: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls, explains what teenage girls really want and need from us.

Chelsey and Amy discuss:

• The generational shift towards a culture of support and empowerment among young girls today
• The significance of offering agency to young girls in shaping their identities and futures
• What teenage girls want from their parents more than anything else

Here's where you can find Chelsey:

• https://www.chelseygoodan.com
• @chelseygoodan on IG and X
• Buy UNDERSTIMATED: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668032688
• https://www.democrashe.org/
• https://www.acalltomen.org/about/

Amy also mentions our Fresh Take with Judith Warner in this episode: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/fresh-take-judith-warner-on-what-grownups-get-wrong-about-middle-school/

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, teenage girl, female empowerment, feminism, mentorship for teens, gender equity

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The human tendency to solve problems by adding something is called "additive solution bias." However, sometimes a problem is more quickly and effectively solved by taking something away.

In this episode we talk about how "additive solution bias" can play out in our parenting strategies, and how we can become more aware of the times when what we actually need to do is take something away.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• Why our brains are wired to solve problems by adding things
• How additive solution bias increases along with the size of the problem we're attempting to solve
• Why removing something, or doing less, isn't automatically easier

Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. 

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Diana Kwon for Scientific American: "Our Brain Typically Overlooks This Brilliant Problem-Solving Strategy"
• Gabrielle S. Adams, et. al for Nature: "People systematically overlook subtractive changes"
• Less is more: Why our brains struggle to subtract
• Anthony Sanni: Additive Bias—and how it could be affecting your productivity
• Braess's paradox
• Rachel Fairbank for Lifehacker: "Why You Should 'Subtract' From Your Parenting"
• SUBTRACT by Leidy Klotz
• Our Fresh Take with Amanda Montell
• Our Fresh Take with Yael Schonbrun
• THE SENSORY CHILD GETS ORGANIZED by Carolyn Dalgliesh

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent

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This month, we're doing a deep dive series into the division of household labor—why it's often unbalanced, and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here.

Kate Mangino, PhD, is a gender expert and professional facilitator who has been working internationally for nearly 20 years. She is the author of the new book Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equity at Home, an informed guide about how readers can rewrite harmful gender norms and create greater household equity.

Here's where you can find Kate:

• https://www.katemangino.com
• @ManginoKate on X
• Buy EQUAL PARTNERS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250276117

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Cognitive biases are self-deceptive thought patterns we all use to make sense of the world. In a world that makes less and less sense, Amanda Montell argues, humans have become more irrational than ever. In her new book THE AGE OF MAGICAL OVERTHINKING, Montell explains how our brains' coping mechanisms have become overloaded—and how to slow down our panic responses when the world becomes too overwhelming.

Amanda, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

• How magical overthinking has manifested from the modern age of mass information overload and an epidemic of loneliness
• The types of cognitive biases that comprise magical overthinking, such as the sunk cost fallacy, the halo effect, and proportionality bias
• Strategies to combat the negative effects of magical overthinking

Here's where you can find Amanda:

• https://amandamontell.com/
• @amanda_montell on IG
• Buy THE AGE OF MAGICAL OVERTHINKING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668007976
• Listen to the "Sounds Like a Cult" podcast

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

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manifest reality, positive thinking, toxic positivity, magical thinking, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities,

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We all know what extreme "oversharenting" is when we see it. It's the gray areas that get harder. When we post about our kid's adventures in potty training, are we supposed to think twice?

What will happen when our kids are old enough to want to curate their own internet presence?

How concerned should we be about the privacy we may have given away without thinking?

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• the digital footprint and the "right to be forgotten"
• what to check in your privacy settings
• when to start asking kids for permission before you post
• the benefits we gain from sharing about our families online

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Zoya Garg, Elmer Gomez and Luciana Yael Petrzela for the NY Times: social-media.html">"If You Didn't 'Sharent,' Did You Even Parent?"
• Sean Coughlan for the BBC: "'Sharenting' puts young at risk of online fraud"
• Fortesa Latifi for Cosmopolitan: "What’s the Price of a Childhood Turned Into Content?"
• Fortesa Latifi for Cosmopolitan: "'We’re Never Doing This Again': What It Took for These Parenting Influencers to Pull Their Kids Offline"
• Paula Cocozza for The Guardian: "‘I was so embarrassed I cried’: do parents share too much online?"
• Amy Webb for Slate: "We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online"
• Jennifer Valentino-DeVries and Michael H. Keller for the NY Times: child-influencers.html">"A Marketplace of Girl Influencers Managed by Moms and Stalked by Men"
• Megan Francis: When Your “Worst-Mom Moment” Becomes A Viral Meme (And How The “Surfboard Kid” Became A Man)

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

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mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent,

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