The high level narcissist is a towering, talented, conquering hero, another Alexander the Great. Everyone seeks his/her counsel. Exalted to high positions of power, influence and prestige, everyone seeks their counsel. They are anointed, even considered holy. 

Convinced of his perfection and superiority, the high level flies high with an extraordinary sense of self entitlement and delusional grandiosity. 

They obsessively brag about their accomplishments, becoming increasingly manic with each achievement--a bloated ego on full display. 

There is a shameless hypocrisy that is part of this identity. Their delusions of grandeur and perfection are limitless. 

Their obsessive focus is always on themselves: what they are entitled to have, whom they will control, how much money and power they will acquire, how to defeat their competitors and enemies--real and imagined-while maintaining an impeccable persona.

You are actually partnered with or married to a petulant child. The narcissistic personality is psychologically regressed to the age of two. Me, Me, Me is the constant word. Temper tantrums and outrageous demands are the theme when they don't get exactly what they want on the spot. Two year olds go through a period of separating out from their parent and asserting themselves and insisting they are independent. Eventually the young child moves through this phase as he or she becomes more rational and capable of viewing themselves realistically. The narcissist never leaves this developmental phase. He/she is stuck psychologically in toddlerhood.

Microscopically light on conscience describes the narcissist's lack of a moral compass. Having a solid conscience takes work and moral discernment. Those with a conscience think about the welfare of others and question themselves about moral and ethical issues.

Being light on conscience accelerates the narcissist's movement up the steps of power, influence and control.

Don't wait for the high level narcissist to be held accountable for his/her malicious transgressions, constant lies. They have abused others, including their children in word and deed.

Arrogantly striding the upper echelons of the power pecking order, the high level learned how to escape by blaming others, especially those who are vulnerable and willing to take the heat for them. 

Your time of re-awakening has arrived. You now understand the true nature of the high level narcissist and begin your movement forward to separate out of this narcissistic abuse. 

You start by putting yourself first with self care: rest, sleep, eating nourishing food, good hydration, movement and exercise your way, listening to beautiful music, spending time with Nature and using your many creative gifts. 

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You can't fall asleep at night; you are anxious; your mind is racing, You listen to your thoughts and wonder when you will get respite. Morning comes and you face extreme fatigue.  Exhaustion has a pain of its own, a feeling of weakness that is relentless. Finally, you face the day and wonder if your strength and stamina will ever return. 

You are distracted and miserable most of the time. Your gut is out of whack. You feel gnawing vulnerabilities---raw fear. On top of this is the dark presence, the horrific shadow side of the high level narcissist. What you know for sure is that eventually he/she starts screaming at you, picking you apart in a low voice filled with derision and mocking. One of his/her favorites is humiliating you. Humiliation is one of the worst sensations we can experience. It is intolerable; we squirm inside, we feel small and want to disappear, to become invisible. 

These cruelties visited on you by the high level are a regular feature, wearing you thin, jangling your nervous system, causing anxiety and panic. For some, re-activating their childhood trauma. 

This is particularly alarming since your narcissistic partner/spouse doesn't give a damn about you or your well being. In fact he is incensed that you are ill and pulling him/her down. You are bad for his image. Having a partner who is not "Up" all the time is very unappealing. The flawless narcissist despises your chronic exhaustion and uses every opportunity to deride and abandon you. 

Gradually, you are moving through the exhaustion, feeling the beginnings of strength. You do research and develop a clear understanding of the high level narcissist. 

With time and an inner resolve and connection with a few individuals whom you trust you know that in order to heal and restore your psychological and physical health you need to move along your own recovery pathways that activate the restorative, parasympathetic body/mind systems, daily self care: rest, sleep, pure nutrition, good hydration, Nature's healing gifts, the use of your unique creativity, your form of spiritual practice: basic restorative yoga, stretching, exercise your way.  Another phenomental gift of restoration: listening to beautiful music that moves inside with its beauty and promise of renewal, strength and transformation, the fullness of your original true self. 

Narcissistic mothers are non-parents. They are incapable of emotional and psychological intimacy. They cannot attach and bond with their children appropriately. They use their children as puppets to mirror them perfectly. 

At some point you know that your mother cannot and will not and did not fulfill your deepest needs. This is a time of reckoning when you know that you must act for yourself and learn to nourish and take care of yourself first. This is not selfish; it is essential.

This self healing begins with small steps. Get the sleep and rest that you need and deserve. Eat nourishing food, organic if you can, that keeps you healthy and strong. Develop a spiritual practice using your definition, turn to Nature, the great healer and source of great beauty, experience the solitude of your own company, listen to music that appeals to you and moves you into the parasympathetic restorative mode, move and exercise in the way that works for you. 

Be very kind to the small child inside of you. You are a wonderful individual: empathic, persevering,  resourceful, authentic, creative. 

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 High level narcissists have raised telling elaborate lies to a dark art form. They repeat their lies with emphasis and convincing delivery. The audience is immersed in his/her "story" and the way it is delivered. The narcissist's nonverbals are impeccable: tone of voice, great eye contact, pseudo empathy.

The high level narcissist appears to be warm and caring. These individuals are so sure of themselves that they have no hesitation. 

The high level makes comments like: "You and I have a lot in common." "We understand one another." "I am looking out for you."

Lies of omission and commission are all part of their performance, their act. 

High level narcissists don't tire from lying; it is their sustenance. It maintains their power over others. 

You cannot trust someone who is lying to you.  

You are evolving all of the time. This process is not a straight line; it is a process.  

Give yourself tremendous credit for being a person of character and compassion. You are that unique individual that always strives to do the right thing, especially when no one is watching. It is in the deep inner self that you feel the peace of your authenticity and integrity. 

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Empaths are unique individuals who are often misunderstood. As babies and small children they learn that they are unlike other family members. Some children are accepted and respected but this attitude tends to be the exception. Empaths have a heightened sense of perception. They are highly sensitive to loud noises, large crowds and social events. 

Empaths are seekers of the truth and have keen insights and intuitions. The society and even within their families, these gifts are not accepted and valued. Rather the empath is treated like a person who is odd, peculiar, someone who doesn't fit in. 

Empath Special Care Practice

Protecting Your Sleep and Rest:

"Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care, sore labor's bath. Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course. Chief nourisher in life's feast." William Shakespeare

Honor your sleep - Don't let others, especially demandig individuals interfere with your sleep. The great healer is sleep, a profound activity that we are designed for. Sleep is part of all human and animal species. It nourishes and restores every system: skeletal, muscular, repiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, reproductive, endocrine, lymphatic and the mitochrondria in every cell. 

We are created to follow the natural daylight and night---to sleep when darkness comes at night and to awaken when the sun rises and radiates in the sky throughout the day. 

Sleep protects and strengthens the immune system, restores our vital energy and decreases inflammation. In sleep the unconscious speaks, bringing us dreams that are mysterious, healing and insightful. We are often daunted by the meaning of our dreams. Nevertheless, they are invaluable although often inscrutable.

In many cultures for hundreds of years the habit of taking a rest has been part of a daily routine. Rest offers physical, psychological and emotional refreshment. Having the freedom to think in quiet, to enjoy one's solitude and creativity is a very pleasant activity. This gives us a feeling of well-being. It offers a great opportunity to move into the parasympathetic nervous system, the restorative, healing mode. 

Protecting Your Psychological Boundaries

Respecting your personal boundaries is an essential part of your positive self-entitlement to inner peace. Recognize that yu can say "No" to the narcissist who is constantly making outrageous demands, lying to you, projecting venomous rage. Developing a strong sense of self-regard is essential to eatablishing and maintaining boundaries. Separating out of the narcissist's delusion world you move forward along your unique individual pathways of psychological and creative development.

Setting Your Personal Pace: Each individual has a natural tempo, a way of moving that is unique to them. As a child, spouse or partner of a high level narcissist you spent many years dancing to their choreography. High level narcissists are often peripetetic---they never stop moving. You have been trying to keep up with their rapid pace and constant demands for too many years. This is your time your space, your pace. Enjoy the dance!

Spend time with Nature, her beauty and Inspiration: We are part of Nature. It showers us with gifts of magnificent beauty. Nature is a home for our solitude, an inspiration for creative thinking, a companion that inspires, nourishes, calms and delights us. 

Developing Your Unique Routine: Daily routines that you crative are motivating, creative, healing and restorative. 

Decide on your priorities, try different schedules, chose activities that appeal to you. Leave room for flexibility. Don't be judgmental. There are no mistakes in choosing the elements of your routine. Enjoy your choices. Honor your unique needs, wishes, energy levels, deep interests, appreciation of beauty, the manifestation of your singular individuality.

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The covert narcissist is "gifted" at re-victimizing his/her human targets. Whether you are partnered with or married to a covert narcissist you are riddled with fear and dread much of the time. You are stuck in the fight or flight mode, the sympathetic nervous system. The covert is skilled at concealing his/her multiple cruelties, manipulations and deceptions. Lies roll off of their tongues automatically and everyone believes them. Lies are automatic to the covert. In some instances your own family may not believe that you know and are telling the truth about this covert viper. 

Their act deceives so many including highly trained therapists, psychiatrists, social workers, attorneys and the list goes on. Don't be surprised if you have been compromised by the covert narcissistic man or woman who makes you believe that he/she is genuine and deeply cares about you. 

Learn to recognize the seductions of sweetness, soft persuasion, their vulnerability act, guilt induction and promises of special treatment that are designed by the covert narcissist to pull you back into their delusonal world of manipulation and deception. 

There are steps you can take to maintain your psychological boundaries and strong sense of self:

Identify the covert narcissist with your research, knowledge and the full use of your intuition.

Put yourself first. Get the sleep you need and deserve. Eat pure food and hydrate, spend time with Nature, do movement and exercise that works you, form relationships with individuals you can trust.  Do expressive writing that is unedited and uses your imagination. 

You have turned on to a new pathway of renewal, health, beauty and a source of continued healing, evolution and transformation.

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The narcissist is a projection machine. Rather than internalizing, introspecting or encouraging insight, the narcissist is always in the process of externalization. He/she is either basking in his perfection or plotting the next move that will weaken, topple or destroy a real or imagined enemy.

Projection is an unconscious defense mechanism an individual uses to protect himself/herself from intolerable feelings of worthlessness, self loathing and forbidden impulses. The narcisssist is continually projecting his/her venom on to others. This is particularly painful and harmful to his family---spouses, partners and children. 

Learn to deflect the narcissist's projections. You cannot control the narcissist's impulses but you can be in command of yourself. 

Practice self care: rest, sleep, hydration, movement/exercise, a form of mindfulness that works for you. Learn to access the parasympathetic nervous system, tht part of yourself that is calm, relaxed and grounded. 

Tap into your creativity --an invaluable resource. 

Honor your wisdom.

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."---Lao-tsu

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As the high level narcissist becomes more successful in the world, he/she activates greater and greater grandiosity, extreme self entitlement and ruthlessness. If he is at the top of his/her profession---finance, science, medicine, academia, entertainment, entrepreneurship, politics, media, etc, he is surrounded by a circle of people who believe that he is superior. This protective golden circle provides the high level narcissist with a continuous circulation of narcissistic supplies: adulation, praise, accolades, multiple perks, high monetary compensation. 

As high level narcissists move to higher tiers of power and influence of great reach, they become untouchable in terms of being held accountable for their personal misdeeds and cruelties. 

Does it matter to him/her if he decimates someone else's career. Absolutely not! This is business hardball. Those who side with him (not knowing that they too are disposable) will vanquish his enemies. The narcissist becomes more and more ruthless and inhumane as he grabs more power and becomes more maniacally delusional.

If this narcissist is a waking nightmare at work, he is hellish at home. In the private space there is no need to wear his/her false facade. It is ripped off by the time he reaches the front door. He screams, taunts, threatens, demeans, humiliates his spouse and children. The reign of narcissistic terror is endless. He has his spouse in a psychological stranglehold.  If the marriage is going badly and the spouse suggests a divorce, the decree of threat comes down---"You will be left with nothing." "I will get full custody of the kidns." "Everyone will know that you have instigated the divorce and take my side." "I will hire attorney who will defeat you at every turn."

Some spouses of high level narcissists reach a breaking point---They are in severe distress---They cannot sleep; they are on red alert with free floating anxiety and chronic insomnia.  

Don't wait for the narcissist to change course. He/she knowes he can control and manipulate you at any time. 

Some spouses take the step to sever their relationship from these highlydisturbed individuals. They strrengthen themselves physically, mentally, psychologically and spiritually. Begin with self care: get the rest and sleep that you deserve, good nutrition and hydration, movement and exercise that works for you, restoration through Nature, doing expressive writing with edit or judgment, rediscovering your many unique creative gifts. 

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The outer image, the persona of the high level narcissist is irresistible: beauty, handsomeness, magnetism, pseudo empathy, extreme self confidence, brightness. These are some of the qualities of  high flying narcissists who are extraordinarily successful in our world today. 

The number of high level narcissists is increasing faster than we can count. Our current society rewards them for their worldly success. Having integrity and a fine character matter less now than it did in the past. 

Our current society rewards them for their worldly success despite the number of people they have psychologically abused; those they have left in financial ruin. Some individuals have become physically ill from the stress of living with them decade after decade.

When you are at your lowest emotional ebb the narcissistic spouse/partner will verbally pounce on you without mercy. They are determined to bring you down. They assume the role of victim which they play to the hilt.

High level narcissists lead secret lives which they compartmentalize. They are known for their affiars, clandestine meetings, seductive acting out behaviors. 

After years, even decades of psychological abuse you can tolerate these cruelties of mind and heart no longer. You are exhausted, experience oxidative stress, chronic anxiety and insomnia. 

After making your decision to leave the narcissist you go through the ordeal of divorcing the high level narcissist. They hires attorneys to intimidate you into complete capitulation. They seek to wear you down with their dirty fighting. 

Despite it all, you come through the divorce process. You have re-activated your strong, grounded sense of self. You folllow the pathways that lead to healing and transformation, putting yourself first. Self care each day is your routine. Getting the rest and sleep that you deserve; eating quality food, good hydration, movement and exercise, you strengthen yourself and develop a powerful stamina of mind, body and heart. Your self entitlement blooms and grows. You embrace your full identity, individuality and creativity. 

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If you have been married to or partnered with a high level narcissist for decades or a short time, remember that your "relationship" with this person is expendable. High level narcissists are ruthlessly wanton and careless about the feelings of others, even their own children. 

Children are often used as attractive props that enhance the narcissist's image and status. After all, if your child is very attractive and has a myriad of talents and capacities, the narcissistic mother or father will have endless bragging rights. 

This person is incapable of actually loving his/her child. Authentic feelings are not part of the narcissist's vocabulary. They tell great stories about their devotion to their spouses and children but this makes for great drama and image enhancement. 

Spouses who get out of line by psychologically working to become individuals and separate from the narcissist become the enemy. After all, they are no longer servile--the one who gives the king or queen his crown and scepter. 

Even before the divorce it is not unlikely that the narcissistic spouse has found your replacement. He or she has already drifted to new sources of psychological supply that will keep his ego fully inflated. 

There is no sadness or regret from the narcissist about all of those years together. You are shocked and distraught. The high level narcissist pivots quickly to his/her next exciting supply. One partner or spouse is interchangeable with the other. 

Protect yourself from the high level narcissist. Research this personality structure. Understand their strategies, the way they think--about themselves only--, their ruthlessness, horrendous lack of empathy, chronic lying, ducplicity, manipulations, empty promises. 

Pay attention to your psychological, emotional and creative needs and wishes. Don't blame yourself for becoming involved in a marriage with a narcissist. They fool most people all the time. 

Focus on your self, your talents, your well being and sense of inner peace. Now you will be lighter, simpler, more creative as you rediscover your authentic, grounded, original self. 

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