Having ADD or ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Hear from people all around the globe, from every walk of life, in every profession, from Rock Stars to CEOs, from Teachers to Politicians, who have learned how to unlock the gifts of their ADD and ADHD diagnosis, and use it to their personal and professional advantage, to build businesses, become millionaires, or simply better their lives.

I wanna give a shout out to Skylight Frame, the official Skylight frame. They are sponsors of this episode of Faster Than Normal. Let me tell you about Skylight! So I have a daughter, you all know, her name is Jessa, she's nine. Jessa, like any nine year old, doesn't really do what I tell her to do until I say it like 4, 5, 6, 18, 54 times. And the problem with that is that when your ADHD, you're kind of forgetful to begin with. So Jessa sits there and I tell her, Jessa, change Waffles' pee pads, my dog right? [@petersdogwaffle on INSTA] Changes defense. Okay, Dad. And she goes right back to Roblox. And then two times later, Jessa change Waffle's pad? Goes, okay, Dad goes right back to robots. And by the fourth time, I've forgotten about it. She's forgotten about it. Waffle doesn't get his pee pad changed. No one's happy. And the house smells. So Skylight Frame eliminates that. It is a essentially a calendar. It's calendar with pictures. It sits on your wall, it connects to wifi, it connects to your Google calendar, and it adds your chores. So I tell Jessa say, Hey, Jessa before you leave for school, before you get in your iPad to play Roblox, before you go to school, are all your chores done? Are they green on the board? She looks. Now I gotta change Waffles pads. Change the pads, comes back. Click. Not you waffle. I, I know you heard your name, but I'm actually not talking about you. I'm doing, doing a podcast. He click, she clicks on the, click it on the, on the chore, it goes away. When all her chores are done, she gets her iPad, everyone wins. It makes life so much easier. It is unbelievable. It's a 10" inch touchscreen display. It's digital, it's gorgeous. You put all your photos in from your photo album, you can send 'em all there. And when it's not in calendar mode, you get a beautiful display of all the pictures. Totally worth it. And as always, thank you Skylight for sponsoring this episode as well as many others of the Faster Than Normal Podcast. 

https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code:  PeterShankman for 10% off, up to $30 off.

Roni Weiss is the Executive Director of Travel Unity, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit focused on increasing diversity in the world of travel through individual and community empowerment.  Roni was born in Long Island, New York and grew up in Snohomish County, Washington, north of Seattle.  At the age of 10, Roni began attending Edmonds Community College (now Edmonds College), receiving his Associate’s of Arts and Science with Honors at the age of 12. He graduated from Lynnwood High School at the age of 15, then attended the University of Washington, receiving double Bachelor’s of Arts degrees in Drama and English at the age of 18. Through years of world travels, Roni visited 70+ countries, including every country in Europe, six of seven continents, and taught English in Italy, France, Taiwan, and Chile, both to youth and professionals. In 2011, Roni founded RW Social, a marketing and consulting company for the travel industry and nonprofits. From 2011 to 2016, Roni worked with Africa Travel Association (now Africa Tourism Association), assisting with and speaking at ATA’s events in NYC, DC, and multiple African countries. In 2013, RW Social launched the New York Travel Festival, an event focused on innovation and sustainability in the world of travel, which served as the genesis for Travel Unity, where he now serves as Executive Director. Roni lives in Westchester County, NY with his partner, Lauren, and their four children. Today we learn how travel is changing for all people including the Neurodiverse, and about some things we can do to help move forward. Enjoy!

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

02:40 - “DEI” is a term used often in this interview; it represents: Diversity, Equity, Inclusion

02:48 - Welcome and introducing Roni Weiss! Ref:  Africa Tourism Association, RW Social, Travel Unity, NewYork TravelFest 

04:36 - So how do you go to college at age 12, and then high school at age 15?!

06:10 - Ref:  Saved By the Bell

07:00 - What made you focus on diversity in Travel, specifically?  Ref: Monica Drake

09:00 - Talk about diversity and travel. What you think can be changed, what has been changed, what needs to be changed?  Ref:  Travel Unity

10:45 - “Local and regional travel is as meaningful and you don't have to pay as much to do it”

10:52 - On tourism management, workforce, visitor-ship, community impact and representation

12:20 - Talk about Neurodiversity and Travel? What are you working on in that venue?

12:50 - Roni on his ADD diagnosis and in what ways it has played a role in his career!

13:01 - On being physically in pain due to boredom

14:00 - About how all people fit multiple ‘things’!

15:00 - On the ‘well, you don't look sick’ stereotype

15:51 - On the importance of good listening, universal inclusion, empathy, and respect.

17:10 - How do people find out more about you? 

Web: www.TravelUnity.org  Roni@travelunity.org

Socials: @TravelUnity on Twitter  INSTA  Facebook and Roni is on LinkedIN and all of his info in also on his website here: http://roniweiss.com

18:00 - We are thrilled that you are here and listening! ADHD and all forms of Neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI My link tree is here if you’re looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman

18:19 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits. Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat: 

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey everyone, Peter Shankman. Welcome to Faster Than Normal. Another episode. Thrilled that you're here. As always, it's a Monday morning in New York City; recording Day as always for the podcast. What a lovely day outside. I think we're finally, finally hitting Spring! Of course now that I said that we'll probably have eight inches of snow by Thursday but it's still a beautiful blue sky day. I just came in from outside and it's, it's nice. It's a little chilly, but we're getting there. Guys… we made it through another winter!

I wanna give a shout out to Skylight Frame, the official Skylight frame. They are sponsors of this episode of Faster Than Normal. Let me tell you about Skylight! So I have a daughter, you all know, her name is Jessa, she's nine. Jessa, like any nine year old, doesn't really do what I tell her to do until I say it like 4, 5, 6, 18, 54 times. And the problem with that is that when your ADHD, you're kind of forgetful to begin with. So Jessa sits there and I tell her, Jessa, change Waffles' pee pads, my dog right? [@petersdogwaffle on INSTA] Changes defense. Okay, Dad. And she goes right back to Roblox. And then two times later, Jessa change Waffle's pad? Goes, okay, dad goes right back to robots. And by the fourth time, I've forgotten about it. She's forgotten about it. Waffle doesn't get his pee pad changed. No one's happy. And the house smells. So Skylight Frame eliminates that. It is a essentially a calendar. It's calendar with pictures. It sits on your wall, it connects to wifi, it connects to your Google calendar, and it adds your chores. So I tell Jessa say, Hey, Jessa before you leave for school, before you get in your iPad to play Roblox, before you go to school, are all your chores done? Are they green on the board? She looks. Now I gotta change Waffles pads. Change the pads, comes back. Click. Not you waffle. I, I know you heard your name, but I'm actually not talking about you. I'm doing, doing a podcast. He click, she clicks on the, click it on the, on the chore, it goes away. When all her chores are done, she gets her iPad, everyone wins. It makes life so much easier. It is unbelievable. It's a 10" inch touchscreen display. It's digital, it's gorgeous. You put all your photos in from your photo album, you can send 'em all there. And when it's not in calendar mode, you get a beautiful display of all the pictures. Totally worth it. Up to 30 bucks off with code: PeterShankman at www.skylightframe.com .And as always, thank you Skylight for sponsoring this episode as well as many others of the Faster Than Normal Podcast .

Alrighty, we have a fun guest today. Roni Weiss is the Executive Director of Travel Unity, a 501c nonprofit focus on increasing diversity in the world of travel through individual and community empowerment. I love that. I love when diversity is increased in any capacity, but travel is something you really don't think about. And when I booked you, Roni when I, when I got in touch with you and realized, Hey, I should get you on the podcast on my next flight, I looked around. And I was sitting in business class and was pretty much surrounded by white, middle-aged guys like myself. And that was interesting. That was the first time, I'll admit, that was the first time in my 20 something years of travel I actually looked and noticed. So you've, you've, if nothing else you opened my mind, at the age of 10, Ronnie began. At the age of 10, mind you; hear me, 10. Roni began attending Edmunds Community College, received Associates of Arts and Science with honors at the age of 12. Then he graduated from Linwood High School, laid a little backwards there at 15, and then went to the University of Washington, receiving a double Bachelor of Arts degree in job in English at the age of 18. So it's shame that he's really such a non-starter, really done nothing. He's, he's only visited 70 countries, including every country in Europe, six of the seven continents, and he's taught English in Italy, France, Taiwan, and Chile; both to youth and professionals. In 2011, he found an RW Social and marketing consulting company for the travel industry. From 2011 to 16, he worked with Africa Travel Association, now Africa Tourism Association. I think we have a very, very close mutual friend in that. And then we as in the assists with and speaks at a t a events in New York to see local African countries. In thousand 13, he launched the New York Travel Festival and event Folks in Innovation, sustainability in the world of travel, which served the genesis for travel unity, where he now serves as executive director and he lives in Westchester. He has a wife and four children, so pretty awesome. Roni, welcome.

[00:04:33] Roni: Thank you. Thanks Peter. It's good to chat with you. 

[00:04:35] Peter: So how the hell do you go to college at 12 and then high school at 15, then college get. 15. What the hell, dude? 

[00:04:41] Roni: So I was in the challenge program, the, the gifted program in elementary school. So they, they bussed us to another place and it wasn't clear where I would go to middle school. So we looked into different options. We, we vi my mom and I visited the principal at the local middle school and my mom is immensely obsessed with education. She still is getting master's degrees and such in her. Now in her 60's. So when we went there, the principal said that middle school's about socialization, not education and she didn't like hearing that. So meanwhile, I was in sixth grade with, with a guy who said he was taking community college classes and I said, You know, I, I, I, I think I'm smarter than him, so why don't I just do that? So my parents being the sort of pushy Jews that they are went and talked to the the people who were running the community college were like, what would it take to, to get our kid in? And they're like, well, he needs to prove he can do it. So take this assessment test and I did, and at first I needed to get the approval of every teacher whose class I was in. And yeah, I started the summer after sixth grade. At the age of 10. I got really involved in the electronic music department there and for my mom, her focus was, Hey, move on to to university after this. But meanwhile, I had grown up on Saved by the Bell and everybody said like, you shouldn't miss high school. It's the best experience of your life. So I'm like, okay, why don't I go and do that? So after three years of community college, including getting associates, I went to high school and it wasn't the best experience in my life, but what it did serve as was kind of a buffer because university was one of, if not the best experience of my life, being there from 15 to 18 was perfect for me. So, you know, people treated me like their younger brother and, you know, I, I got live in the dorms and that was, that was amazing. So had I gone to university starting at 13, I wouldn't have had that experience that I got to have.

[00:06:45] Peter: That's very cool. Now tell us about, so diversity came early for you in life, and what made. I mean, you were working in the travel industry already, and so was it just a natural switch to say, There's no diversity here. I mean, you, so you think travel and you think travel is a worldwide thing, and I don't think anything constitutes diversity more than like worldwide.

[00:07:08] Roni: Yeah. I, I, the thing was, as you mentioned, I, I started that event New York travel festival and we were already trying to talk about things that I didn't see being discussed as much except in certain circles. So sustainability, you know, in theory is something everybody should care about, especially if you look at it at, its kind of root of what does it mean to sustain something. It means to keep it, every business should wanna keep itself going. So sustainability and storytelling and innovative ideas in tech, I wasn't seeing it necessarily as, as mainstream. So in 2015 we had a session at the festival called Traveling While Black, and it was all black women and it was at the New York Times building and moderated by Monica Drake, who's a black woman editor at the Times. And it was clear that this wasn't being discussed. And like you, when you mentioned the business class thing, I started being aware.. And it's interesting cause people like; how has this changed in recent years? And I think representation, not necessarily in the traveling public, but marketing has changed and that's kind of a problem. But years ago I would see a financial services ad, and it would be a mixed race couple with a, a banker in a wheelchair, and then the next Ad you'd see would be a destination or a property or whatever, where everybody who was traveling was white and everybody who was serving them was a person of color. And I, I, on that side I just became aware and from the work with Africa Travel Association, from talking to black colleagues who were who felt marginalized in the industry and in their own travels. And then on the other side, I'd been working with young people for many years. So the idea that I had been around all these folks through the event I was running through doing content creation, et cetera, that people get all this value for tra from travel and as we've already noted, not everybody has those opportunities. Right. 

[00:09:02] Peter: That's very true. And so tell, talk about, you know, not to dive right in, but talk about diversity and travel. Talk about what you think can be changed, what has been changed, what needs to be changed, so, 

[00:09:14] Roni: When it comes to the work we do, we we're doing two things in Travel Unity. One is getting individuals, especially young people, to see travel is something they can do no matter who they are in a career path. Because I, no offense to you or anybody who else who takes business class, but a lot of folks aren't gonna be able to afford that. 

[00:09:32] Peter: Oh, I can't afford 'em, my clients afford it. I can't afford it to save my life, let's not.. Let's be honest. 

[00:09:36] Roni: So, so, but, but my, my point there is that, that that's the vision a lot of people have of what travel is; of like, oh, I have to spend, you know, all this money and spend, go to this fancy hotel and, you know, all of that. Or that they have to get a job where They're a consultant and somebody else is paying for it. Right. However it is, there's this perception, but the reality is, you know, you, you and I both live in New York state and when I went up to Watkins Glen State falls a few hours upstate, I was personally offended. Cause like I'm like, this is an amazing spot that people would be Instagramming the hell out of it if they were overseas and they'd go out of their way and they'd be on the plane and they'd take their selfies on it, and then they'd go to that one thing and that would be the thing. But because it's in New York state, people don't necessarily seek it out as much, and that's part of the problem. And in the city, obviously in New York City, there's so much cultural experiences that you can have.

When I was in Flushing Chinatown, after I had visited China, I'm like, I feel like I'm in China again. Yeah, so to be able to have these experiences of culture, nature, et cetera, you can do it without even taking a plane. And that's one of our big focuses that local and regional travel is as meaningful and you don't have to pay as much to do it. So that's on one side. On the other side we have our d e I standards for travel and tourism, which we developed with a lot of people back in 2020. And those are focused on the three different ways that a visitor facing organization. So any company, museum, destination, whatever it is that's trying to bring visitors in. What are the three different ways they deal with people? So management and workforce, the people who work there visitorship, the visitors, and then community impact. So what we're trying to do is make sure that voices are being heard, that things are being processed, and that's one of the biggest.

Things that I've discovered over the past few years is that we have, you know, the culture wars and all these discussions around things, but a lot of this real core diversity, equity, and inclusion work. Yes, the identities and the communities are important for a variety of reasons, historical and present. But some of it is literally just if a visitor fills out. A complaint form or a, you know, a, a wonderful compliment. Are you doing anything with it? Right? Are you doing with a, doing anything with the information you're getting? And are you listening to all the different kinds of people who are giving you feedback and information? Because a lot of time that just gets lost in the mix, and then people don't feel like they're being heard. They don't feel like they belonged. And at the very least, it's neutral, if not negative. Whereas if you actually had processes in place, it could be positive. 

[00:12:14] Peter: Yeah. Makes a lot of sense. I gotta ask the question based on this podcast, which it is, talk about neurodiversity. Are you, are you approaching that at all? 

[00:12:22] Roni: So I, for you already mentioned the, the ADD stuff. It's where, one of the things that I usually mention at the the top of this, because the things about identities is they're not monoliths. Right? Exactly. Exactly. Having ADD, OR ADHD,, you might be able to draw broad strokes about the things that you always talk about, about the chemical side of things, and I'll tell you in terms of my own sort of trajectory, first. You know, I was diagnosed and I think based off of the education path, anybody who themselves is ADD, ADHD or knows people; could see how, huh, yeah, that probably sounds like who Roni is. At a certain point I felt like I had outgrown it, and what I realized was it was kind of the opposite. I had completely structured my whole life around never being bored, right? That I was always going somewhere new. I was always having constant stimulation. And now that I'm more settled than having, you know, more of a, a regularish kinda role, I'm more aware of how different I am than neurotypical people. And how I just, I literally cannot stand being bored. It physically pains me. And you know, I will be sitting there and there will be a session of some kind, a speaker, and if I can't take it, I'm gonna go nuts. Whereas other people, they can manage to get their way through. So the idea in and of itself that neurodiversity is a part of of this is when we're talking about diversity, we're talking about all the different aspects of identity community that makes some of these concerns, needs, et cetera, different. I think one of the unfortunate things sometimes, and I understand why it's the case, but is, is that there ends up being a fixation on, on race and ethnicity in this work. And the thing about that is it, it, it loses sight of things. If you were focused on getting more black or Hispanic or Asian or whatever it is, people into space, that's fine if that's your focus. But don't say you're doing diversity, equity, and inclusion broadly if you're not looking at the identities broadly because there are disabled black people , there are gay, bisexual, Hispanic people, et cetera. And I think that's one of the things that ends up being, being lost in all this, is that idea of intersecting identities. That if you're saying that somebody is just one thing, there are two problems with that. One is they're not, they're multiple things. And also it suggests that everybody's experiences within that identity are all the same. And that's not true either. 

[00:14:50] Peter: Think one of the interesting things also is the fact that that which is not visible is often not talked about. Right. And, and you know, you hear this from people who have diseases that, that start off with a conversation of, well, you don't look sick. You know, and you have sort of the same thing in d e i in the respect that, you know, I, other than the fact that I probably need to lose 20 pounds, I look like a perfectly normal 50 year old. Right. I, I actually guess the fact that I need to lose 50 pounds makes me even more of a nor perfectly normal 50 year old. But, but you know, the, the fact that my, what you don't see is that my brain is racing a million miles an hour, and I've had to do 15 things this morning to keep it in check, right? And, and that, and because it's not visible, it's easy to overlook and it's easy to ignore. And I think that d e I needs to be, you know, needs to focus on. 

[00:15:34] Roni: I think that, you know, this comes down to, to the empathy and the awareness thing. I, I'm a big fan of the concept of neutral ignorance. That there are just things you don't know because you haven't experienced them. And as you said, if you're not seeing them at all, then how are you going to, to be aware of them? Which is why it's so important for people to be listening to other people's stories and to, it's one of the first things that we have in our individual pledge, which is just the recognition that different people have different lives and have different experiences, and that's one of the biggest problems that I see overall, you know, if I, if I make this a little more political, is that on, on the sort of stereotypical left wing side, you have people who, who get kind of absorbed in their feelings of guilt, which makes it about them. If you go to the kind of stereotypical right wing side, it's like, well, I, you know, didn't grow up with money and whatever; it's like yeah, nobody's saying you didn't have problems growing up. The point is that different people have different things and you need to be aware of that, and it needs to come from empathy. It needs to be you seeing what it's like in other people's shoes and trying to make the results, the outcomes better for everybody as much as possible. And if you're fixating on yourself and your own experiences in any way, that's not about other people, and that's not what this work is either. 

[00:16:52] Peter: Hundred percent. Hundred percent. Tell me how people can find you, because I think that this is,.. First of all, we're out of time, so I wanna have you back. That goes without saying. But tell me how people can find you. I mean, the, the, the premise of travel unity is something that's only gonna obviously grow. Right, and I'm, I'd be curious if we talk again or we will talk again to learn how it's being embraced by the travel world as a whole. But how can be able to find you for now? 

[00:17:15] Roni: So, Travel Unity is at www.TravelUnity.org. You can email me, Roni at travel unity.org. You could find me on LinkedIn in, various places, but yeah, always happy to talk to folks. You know, it's an interesting sort of world that, that we're in with Travel Unity. As you said, it's already sort of growing, so the more folks we have who are interested in what we're doing, always happy to talk to them.

[00:17:37] Peter: I love seeing d e i being included in all different categories. I think it's wonderful. Roni, thank you so much for taking the time. Really appreciate it. Guys, check out what Roni Weiss is doing at Travel. Unity. I think you really like it. Thank you for listening as always. The new book, The Boy with the Faster Brain, is selling like hotcakes on Amazon. Still it hit number one in this category. It's still there, I think. I am speaking at schools, I'm speaking at colleges, I'm speaking at businesses. As always, if any of you would like to have me there, I will do it for books! So buy books, get me to speak. That works for college and for universities and schools. That doesn't necessarily work for businesses but we'll figure something out. Shoot me an email, peter @shankman.com. Either way thrilled that you guys are listening. Thank you so much for taking the time. We will see you next week. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Bye-bye. —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

Having ADD or ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Hear from people all around the globe, from every walk of life, in every profession, from Rock Stars to CEOs, from Teachers to Politicians, who have learned how to unlock the gifts of their ADD and ADHD diagnosis, and use it to their personal and professional advantage, to build businesses, become millionaires, or simply better their lives.    

Hey guys, Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today; what chores your child has to do today. It's basically a family calendar all-in-one. You can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what's on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog! - Mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she's done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we've ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You’re gonna love this Skylight calendar.  And you are gonna love.. I mean, truly it is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall, added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver- on your wall! So now your wall has pictures. That's cool. Check it out. I'll put the link in the show notes. https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code:  PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off.

In her own words: Hello, I'm Kelsey! I am in my early 30's, originally from Michigan, and got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 26.  I graduated with a degree in Psychology and Public Relations, and have worked in several different roles in sales, customer service, operations, and marketing in the computer software industry within the last decade.  Shortly after being diagnosed, I sold my house, furniture, and all my belongings to pursue a nomadic lifestyle.  From the years of 2017-2020 I participated in an organization called WWOF, where I worked on several different organic farms across the US in exchange for room and board.  During this time, I worked remotely, tried stand up comedy, adventured, and brainstormed on how I could make money on my own terms.  In 2020, I moved to Nashville and in 2023 relocated back to Michigan.  I have a passion for fitness, international traveling, learning, and meeting other neurodivergent people. Today we learn why Kelsey Sterkenburg decided to try out the nomadic lifestyle and if it is perhaps a choice for you also, enjoy!

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

02:06 - Welcome and introducing Kelsey Sterkenburg

03:00 - What made you decide to go Nomad; the ADHD diagnosis?

04:20 - On WWOOF-ing ref: https://wwoof.net/destinations/

05:00 - On actually making the commitment and doing it. Yeah…how did you do that?

06:20 - On leveraging the prep-work and risk taking

07:00 - On settling-in and how she got into WWOOF-ing

08:27 - Did you ADHD play a big/small role in your being able to learn something new, and in a hurry?

09:45 - What was in a typical day that got you to that euphoric high?

10:00 - A day in the life on the farm

11:05 - On re-claiming perspective and finding a passionate work ethic once again

13:38 - Would you recommend this lifestyle for other people with ADHD; maybe to change things up even? If so then why?

16:30 - What are you doing now?

17:26 - How do people find out more about you? Socials we could find: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelseysterkenburg/

Another big shout out to Skylight calendar!

18:00 - We are thrilled that you are here!  ADHD and all forms of neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. So check it out. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI

My link tree is here if you’re looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman

18:41 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat: 

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey everyone, what's up? My name is Peter Shankman. I'm the host of the Faster Than Normal podcast, and I wanna give a big shout out to Skylight for sponsoring this episode again, Skylight Calendar, guys, I told you about this thing before. I love it. It sits in my kitchen wall and tells my daughter exactly what she has to do. It tells her what she has to bring to school. It tells her what she can leave home. It tells her what chores have to be done. I don't have to yell at her anymore. She doesn't complain. We can throw photos on there of family, of friends, of my parents, of her, of of her mom's parents, everyone. She sees everything. She can touch screen it when she's done. She loves going over feeding the dog and then touch screening to say that she's fed the dog and the chore disappears. They're color coded, which is great for people like me who have ADHD and people like you. Check out Skylight. It is a phenomenal, phenomenal calendar. It'll make your life so much easier and simpler,. You'll have so much less to complain about. Skylightframe.com . Use code Peter Shankman and get up to 30 bucks off your first offer. And I wanna thank them again for sponsoring the podcast. The Skylight calendar is incredible. Skylight frame.com. Check it out. https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code:  PeterShankman 

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey guys. Peter Shankman. Welcome to that episode of Faster Than Normal. I am your host as I have been going on, I don't know, six years or something ridiculous like that. It is lovely to have you here. We are having a good time. We're gonna have a good time today. We're gonna talk to a wonderful young woman named Kelsey, but before we do, I wanna give a big shout out to Skylight Calendar. Makes the skylight frame. They now have the skylight calendar, which let me tell you, has changed my life with my daughter. She doesn't argue with me over what chores to do anymore because they're literally on a digital calendar on our wall, in our kitchen table area place. Basically, she goes in, she pours her Honeynut Cheerios. She looks up at the calendar and says, oh, okay, today I have chorus and have to bring my coral music and I have to feed the dog and I have to do all this stuff. And as she does it, she clicks the checkbox on the touchscreen and she checks it off. She loves doing that. It's color coded for people like me who have ADHD. It is the easiest thing in the world. You can upload all your photos to it as well. So when you're not using the calendar, it shows cool photos. Remind you of places you've been in, things you've done. You can get up to 30 bucks off with the code: PeterShankman at skylightframe.com. Huge, huge fan of this calendar. It has made my life a lot easier, and we want to thank them for hosting or for, for sponsoring the hosting of this podcast. As always, it is wonderful to have such wonderful, wonderful, fascinating, and brilliant sponsors such as Skylight Frame. Check out the frame, check up the calendar. You're really, really gonna like it. Use code Peter Shankman. For 30 bucks up to 30 bucks off and lemme know what you think. So with that said, 

[00:02:06] Peter: I wanna welcome Kelsey. Kelsey, I'm gonna screw up your last name again. Sterkenburg. Is that right? Yes. Yep. All right. Got it. Kelsey is in her early thirties, she's originally from Michigan. She got diagnosed with ADHD when she was 26. She graduated from the, with a degree in psychology and public relations, and worked in several she worked in several different roles in sales, customer service, operations, and marketing, blah, blah, blah. But after she got diagnosed, she decided to sell her house and furniture and all her belongings and pursuing nomadic lifestyle from the years of 17, 2017, 2020. She participated in an organization called WWOF, or. Which I like, where she worked on several different organic farms across the United States in exchange room and board. During this time, she worked remotely. She tried standup comedy. She adventured, she brainstormed how she could make money on her own terms. In 2020, she moved to Nashville and 2023 back to Michigan. She loves fitness, international traveling, learning, and meeting other neurodivergent people. Kelsey, welcome to Faster Than Normal. 

[00:02:59] Kelsey: Thank you so much. Thanks for having. 

[00:03:01] Peter: My pleasure. So you have an interesting life when you decided, Hey, I'm ad, was it because you decided, because you had ADHD that you decided you were gonna go nomad or was there something else involved?

[00:03:11] Kelsey: You know, it was, um, it was mostly the ADHD. It was just this kind of light bulb came outta my head and it made sense at the time of my life. Um, I was a little bored with how I was living. I, I was trying to kind of fit in and mask do what everyone else was doing around me. Um, kind of just live the Midwest life and it felt very hard for me. Um, I felt very stable. I felt very safe, but I didn't feel like I was doing what I really wanted to do. Um, and it's hard, you know, when you first get diagnosed it makes so much sense. It's just you finally have, you can see color. Yeah. After living in black and white for so long. So for me, I just thought, I wanna travel, I wanna go see things, I wanna go do things. And of course I, you know, I knew I had to work and I knew I had to have everything, kind of my ducks in a row. But I did feel confident in myself for the first time in my life. I felt like I can do this! You know, I wanna go move somewhere different, somewhere new, and I've always been pretty adaptable. So I kind of just looked online and I, um, I had heard a lot of people talk about, um, woofing is what it's called. And it actually is, um, an organization that allows you to, um, like you mentioned, live on organic farms and, um, move around the country and, um, you're not necessarily making money, but you're not losing money. So I saw that as an opportunity to grow and discover my love for working again. I had gotten a little bit stagnant in that department. Um, I had kind of lost that passion because I was doing things I didn't truly have a passion for. Um, so I just decided to go for it. 

[00:04:52] Peter: Lemme interrupt you up for a second. Let's talk about that. Cuz the concept of sort of selling all your crap and just going out, working on an organic farm or doing anything like that. You know, a lot of people talk about it, oh, we should do this or do that, but it's scary as hell to actually make. Sleep and do it is scary as hell. So how did you swallow that fear and turn that into action? Because fear usually negates action when you're nervous, you usually, you, you're paralyzed by fear, yet you just, some somehow swallowed your fear and did it. What was it that made you do that? 

[00:05:19] Kelsey: I did. You know, I put together, I've always been, I've found that when I'm very motivated towards a goal, I know it's gonna happen and I know I'm going to get there and it, it, I may seem crazy to the outside world, but to me, It makes sense and it's just, I'm laser focused, right? My hyper-focus was on, so I knew I wanted to sell my house. Um, I just knew that wasn't for me. 

[00:05:42] Peter: So you owned the house in that point? 

[00:05:44] Kelsey: I did, yeah. Wow. I did and I tried everything. I tried to really just create a lot of stability where I was and. Like I said, follow the norm and do what everyone else was doing. And I had done every single, I felt like I was checking off, you know, things on a list, and it felt really, um, I just felt kind of uncomfortable with it, which is strange because usually at that point in life, you, uh, feel steady and you feel comfortable. But for me, I wanted to be outside my comfort zone a little bit. So I felt like I had a little bit of a nest egg once the, the house went through. Um, and I thought to myself, I'm smart, I'm capable. I can do this, you know, and as long as I'm frugal and, um, I'm careful, I think that it will all work out because I had been playing it safe for so long at that point that. I wanted to take a risk. I wanted to go. So it was, uh, a little bit of a leap of faith, but I also had that confidence. I just knew that I was gonna be okay and I was excited. So I kind of let that draw me into, um, making that decision. Um, but I went and, um, I was excited and, um, I ended up just kind of being thrown into. Um, I went to California actually first in San Diego and, um, found a place to live pretty quickly. Um, and, you know, started the job hunts. And while I was doing that, I started to look at, um, WWOOFing because I had actually. Um, met one, I met a friend that was doing, um, woofing in Arizona and he actually, um, kind of introduced me to it. I had never heard of it before. I always, uh, you know, I just assumed that was something that, you know, maybe rich kids would do, but it was really for anyone. Um, and I thought to myself, I don't really wanna stay only in San Diego. Um, I had stayed there for a little bit. I wanted to see more. I wanted to do more. So I thought, what can I do that will allow me to. See more of this country and move around a little bit, but not, um, you know, not have to start over each time with housing and that kind of thing. So I saw, um, woofing as an opportunity to be out in nature. Um, Learned to work hard. I worked on farms, I worked with animals. Um, I helped rebuild fences. Um, and just really worked with some really interesting people. Um, and you're, you know, you're meeting people from all walks of life at the same time because there's other volunteers, um, at each site that you choose.

[00:08:26] Peter: Tell me about your adhd. How do you think your ADHD played into you're being able to be on a farm and do something incre entirely new. Right. And, and, and, and learn something basically on the fly with your feet in the fire. 

[00:08:37] Kelsey: Yeah. Um, I think, um, like most ADHD people, I think, um, we're very spontaneous. We're very excited to learn. Um, when we're interested in a subject, it's, you know, there that hyper focus comes on. Um, so for me, I had always been. Um, aware of just my adventurous spirit, you know, being spontaneous and, um, interested in a lot of different things. So I, I feel the most sharp when I'm moving. When I'm, um, talking fast. I'm moving fast. I'm meeting other people. I'm, you know, there's novelty around me, so, Um, those things excite me. And, um, I think that because I had kind of been bogged down by, you know, sitting in a chair for eight hours a day and trying to, you know, living that monotonous life for a while that I was, I just, it was polar opposite of that. It was just so much dopamine. Um, and I wasn't medicated either, so it was just this, um, I guess you could call it like a euphoric high. 

[00:09:44] Peter: Tell us about it. But I was, what, what was the typical day that got you to that euphoric high? 

[00:09:48] Kelsey: Um, what was it that got me there? 

[00:09:51] Peter: No, tell us, tell us about a typical day there. Cause you said it was euphoric high, so what were you doing? What was a typical day like for you? 

[00:09:57] Kelsey: Absolutely. So what I would do is I would, um, wake up and, um, you could actually pick what kind of work you wanted to do. So, um, wake up, they actually, they feed you. They give you kind of room and board. It's, it's very nomadic, like I said. So it's, um, you know, it's not for prim and proper. It's, you know, you're, you're dirty and you're not. It's not a hotel, but you're living, well, you're living on someone's property and you're, you're helping, you're giving back to a really good cause and, um, and you're treated very well. So I would wake up, um, have breakfast and um, you know, you kind of just, Get started, you've just kind of developed this routine and you're told, okay, you know, you're in charge of the horses today or you know, the donkeys or you know, go out in the field and start um, you know, doing kind of the farm chores. And they of course had walked me through how to do that every single day. And, um, I specifically wanted to work with animals cause that is one of my biggest passions. So I would go out and kind of complete all the farm duties, and that would take a couple hours. Um, it wasn't easy, I will say, but it didn't feel What kinda,

[00:11:02] Peter: when you say farm, when you say farm duties, what were you doing?

[00:11:05] Kelsey: Yeah, I was, um, kind of like bailing the hay in, um, feeding all the animals and, um, I actually was milking the cows as well. Wow. Um, and doing a lot of different things just, um, to kind of keep all the operations up and running. This was a, I had worked on a couple different farms, um, up in the PNW area. Um, Northern California and um, also one in Montana as well in the, the Bozeman area. So each farm was different. So you do have to really just adjust to, um, the owners and their expectations, what they would like you to do. Um, but it was like a little bit of gardening as well. There was a little bit of, um, you know, learning how to manage a garden. Um, and also a lot of the food prep, you know, kind of taking in the eggs and the milk and kind of doing a little bit of food prep in the kitchen. So it kept me busy, as you can imagine. Sure, yeah. Um, a six hour shift would go by like a snap of the fingers. And I could not remember the last time I felt so, um, so busy and, um, productive and I felt like I was back in college again where I'm learning new things and you know, I'm interacting and I'm away from my phone for, you know, that period of time. And I'm just really, really happy. I feel like this is a good fit for me and this is what I need. Um, so I kind of felt like I had become a drone before that. Um, just kind of masking and blending in and trying to do what was expected of me. And then I finally chose to do something that I thought would help me grow. Um, that's a little bit unconventional, but it worked and it did really help me establish a hard work ethic again. Um, which in turn helped me kind of decide what I wanted to do next, um, with work. So, um, but it did definitely teach me that I prefer to work by myself. Um, I, I like to be independent. I like to, um, I prefer the more the self-employment route I guess you could say. So I kind of, uh, discovered my entrepreneurial spirit during that time and, um, learned a lot though. And I did that for, um, about a year and, um, did a little bit of traveling in between there. 

[00:13:25] Peter: That's very, very cool. 

[00:13:26] Kelsey: Tell us as well, so very risky. 

[00:13:31] Peter: Tell us, uh, I guess this is my, my only my, my last question to you, because this is fascinating to me. What. You re would you recommend this lifestyle for a year or two years or three years for other people with h adhd? Because it seems to be for people who are stuck and, and in this sort of A D H D, um, uh, spinning their wheels type mentality, which we've all been in from time to time. And there are some people who are just looking for, okay, maybe this is a way to break everything and, and change everything up. Would you recommend it? 

[00:13:59] Kelsey: I would, and I'll tell you why, and I know a lot of people can relate to this. I had a lot of people trying to stop me from doing this. They said, you know, you're gonna fall on your face. You're not gonna make it. Um, you don't have enough money, you don't have enough experience with life. You know, all these things. And um, and I had always found that the more people told me not to do something, the more motivated I was to do it. Um, and so I stopped kind of sharing. I stopped oversharing and I started to really just quiet the noise around me, um, and stopped comparing myself to, you know, other people. Um, and that's hard to do in your twenties, as you can imagine. It gets easier as the years go by, but, um, I thought to myself, you know, this is smart. This is a way that I'm not really losing any money. I'm not really. Um, the biggest, you know, fear I guess is just a couple months off of a real corporate job, you know, but at the same time, with everything we have in our remote world today, digital marketing, you know, you can start your own business online. There's a, there's a ton of ways to be creative and make money, and I thought.. I don't think this is gonna be hurting me. I think this will help me grow. This will reshape my perspective of life. Um, kind of bring back that childhood spirit, you know, that childhood energy and, um, get me excited about life again. And not learning the same thing in an office day after day. Um, I just, I also really wanted to rediscover my work ethic. I wanted to feel like I was really, really earning my time and my money. Um, and, you know, feel fulfilled at the end of the day. And I did. I feel like it really helped me reset, um, and put me back on the path that I was meant to be on. So it changed my life, it really did. And I know I, um, I know others have had much, you know, greater experiences with moving to different countries or traveling. but.. it definitely gave me that travel bug and that, um, thirst for life. And, um, I recognized that there were other neurodivergent people that were in that environment and I didn't feel alone and I felt, wow, there are other people like me that have struggled and just had to do something that was a little bit crazy to uh, maybe find themselves and discover where they're meant to be. Um, so I 

[00:16:29] Peter: What are you doing now? 

[00:16:30] Kelsey: Um, so now I am, um, kind of, I'm also still working remotely in a, a software, um, company that does analytics for, um, LMS systems. So we're kind of tracking the performance analytics for instructional designers that are creating different courses over different LMS systems. So I'm kind of working as more of a, I guess you could call me a jack of all trades, a customer success kind of manager slash business sales representative slash operations manager. So I'm, I'm in a role right now that is a really good fit. Um, it really does let me wear all the hats I like to wear. Um, and it also lets me thrive because I'm, um, working independently and, um, I don't really have anyone overseeing anything I'm doing. It's just, I'm just kind of given the reins to run with it. 

[00:17:25] Peter: That's awesome. So, very cool. Kelsey, how can people find you if they wanna learn more? They, I have a feeling this might change in lives. How can people find you? 

[00:17:32] Kelsey: Yeah, they can actually, um, find me on, um, LinkedIn. Um, I'm pretty active on LinkedIn, just Kelsey Sterkenberg um, or they could find me on. I have Instagram, I have Facebook, um, all those tools and my name is pretty, um, un uncommon. Yeah, true. So I think, uh, it won't be too hard to track me down, but yeah, and I'd be happy to, you know, provide my contact information if needed.

[00:17:58] Peter: Very cool guys. Kelsey, thank you so much for taking the time. Really appreciate it. Kelsey. This is a really interesting interview. I found myself really fascinated by this. Thank you so much, Peter. Awesome guys. Listen to Faster Than Normal. We want to hear what you want to hear. Let us know what you think. Don't forget, uh, the Boy with a Faster Brain is still number one. It's burning up the charts. Grab your copy, buy a copy and donate it to a library. They're shutting down libraries in this country. Man. This is. Keep libraries alive, buy a copy and donate it to a library. And if you do that, shoot me an email, let me know you did and I'll send you something fun. But either way, keep listening. We'll have another episode next week. ADHD is a gift, not a curse, as is all neurodiversity. We love that you guys are here and we're greatly thankful that you tune in every week. Stay safe, stay well. We'll talk to you soon. —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

Having ADD or ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Hear from people all around the globe, from every walk of life, in every profession, from Rock Stars to CEOs, from Teachers to Politicians, who have learned how to unlock the gifts of their ADD and ADHD diagnosis, and use it to their personal and professional advantage, to build businesses, become millionaires, or simply better their lives.

Hey guys, Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today; what chores your child has to do today. It's basically a family calendar all-in-one. You can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what's on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog! - Mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she's done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we've ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You’re gonna love this Skylight calendar.  And you are gonna love.. I mean, truly it is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall, added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver- on your wall! So now your wall has pictures. That's cool. Check it out. I'll put the link in the show notes. https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code:  PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off.

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Entrepreneur, social media expert, influencer and now CEO of the hottest events in NYC, Liv Schreiber has a vision for changing how New Yorkers meet and build relationships and social communities. In the past, it was intros from friends, families, gym workout buddies or boring dating apps. Today, New Yorkers are growingly turning to the 26 year old Schreiber who's “Hot and Social” events are selling out in 36 seconds. Hot and Social has developed an event strategy where the attendees not only have an opportunity to meet and speak with their peers but an invitation to become friends in a world that many times seems so uninviting and cold. The events have continued to gain traction, and the waitlist for Liv comes from a family of entrepreneurs which you frequently will see in her content. The tagline of her company is "99% of the attendees show up alone, 100% leave as friends". This unique concept has led to some of the largest restaurant and club companies in NYC to reach out with the hope of securing a Hot and Social event for some of the most well known venues in the City. Schreiber is overwhelmed with the support and can't wait to bring her concept to other cities.  Schreiber has already worked with brands such as Anheuser-Busch, Moxy, REVOLVE and Rumble. Her TikTok and Instagram accounts have been blowing up- giving Schreiber the ability to package her social, with Hot and Social's accounts and event sponsorship. The Digital Renegades CEO Evan Morgenstein sees Schreiber as a perfect new client, "Myself, coming from Rockland County and having my family in the event promotion business most of my childhood, I see Liv as a refreshing new take on bringing people, brands and unique experiences together. Liv is so smart, she lives this lifestyle- so it's authentic and she has her finger on the pulse of the 22-35 year old market in NYC and beyond. We are going to make this an international brand and I can't wait!"

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:44 - Welcome and introducing Liv Schreiber!

02:17 - On the importance of not feeling alone in a classroom setting.

03:34 - We don't need a lot of friends, but we need a few good ones. Would you agree with that?

04:20 - Tell me what your story is, how you came up with this idea. What's your background?

05:00 - Ref: Brand Caffeine

06:24 - What pushed you to decide to do something for friendship; as opposed to like dating, relationships, or the usual fare?

08:40 - Tell us about the people who go to & enjoy these events? To me it sounds like a root canal?

09:43 - What do people talk about?

11:00 - Why do you think we as adults sort of forget how to make friends?

12:26 - How do people find out more about you Liv? Web:  https://www.livschreiber.com

Socials: @livschreiber on INSTA and TikTok  Then.. @hotandsocial on INSTA and Liv’s Styling account is @styledbylivschreiber in INSTA & TikTok

12:25 - Can more friendships benefit everyone with ADD or ADHD and Neurodiverse?

13:07 - Thank you for your work here Peter! 

13:18 - Thank you Liv!

13:20 - Another big shout out to Skylight calendar!

13:24 - We are thrilled that you are here!  ADHD and all forms of neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. So check it out. Click HERE or via https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI

My link tree is here if you’re looking for something specific. https://linktr.ee/petershankman

14:06 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat: 

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey everyone, what's up? My name is Peter Shankman. I'm the host of the Faster Than Normal podcast, and I wanna give a big shout out to Skylight for sponsoring this episode again, Skylight Calendar, guys, I told you about this thing before. I love it. It sits in my kitchen wall and tells my daughter exactly what she has to do. It tells her what she has to bring to school. It tells her what she can leave home. It tells her what chores have to be done. I don't have to yell at her anymore. She doesn't complain. We can throw photos on there of family, of friends, of my parents, of her, of of her mom's parents, everyone. She sees everything. She can touch screen it when she's done. She loves going over feeding the dog and then touch screening to say that she's fed the dog and the chore disappears. They're color coded, which is great for people like me who have ADHD and people like you. Check out Skylight. It is a phenomenal, phenomenal calendar. It'll make your life so much easier and simpler,. You'll have so much less to complain about. Skylightframe.com . Use code Peter Shankman and get up to 30 bucks off your first offer. And I wanna thank them again for sponsoring the podcast. The Skylight calendar is incredible. Skylight frame.com. Check it out. https://www.skylightframe.com Discount Code:  PeterShankman 

Okay guys, another episode of Faster Than Normal! I am thrilled that you're here! About two or three months ago. I had coffee with the one we're about to talk today. Her name is Liv Schreiber and Liv calls herself, the one who's making friendship cool again, and it's really interesting. She runs a very cool company where she basically throws parties to let people make friends, and we're talking about that, but we're also talking a bigger picture about friendships. So Liv, welcome to Faster Than Normal- so good to have you!

[00:02:11] Liv: Hey Peter, you're the best. So good to finally get to be talking to you here. This is awesome! 

[00:02:17] Peter: Now I'm glad to have you. I wanted to do this for a while. It's, um, you know, it's interesting, the, the, I was, I was talking last week to a elementary school. I was reading them the new book, the Boy with the Faster Brain, and everyone was, you know, it was funny to watch the kids, right? Because 30 kids in the classroom and they bun Bud buddy up with their friends to walk to the auditorium where we were doing the speech that's, I was following them, you know, talking to the teacher and I look over and all the kids have somehow buddied up with another kid and they're all holding hands and there's one who, I guess, I guess someone was absent and didn't have anyone to hold hands with and he's just sort of like walking behind everyone. And he looked a little sad. My daughter was with me cuz she had the week off from school and she walked up, she grabbed the kid's hand. Right. And my daughter's nine. This kid I think was like five or six or whatever. And, and you immediately saw the change in the kid. The kid was like, he went from like, we have no one to talk to. Like, oh, someone's holding my hand. Yeah. And he was all happy and everything. Uhhuh. It really is amazing. We don't, you know, we joke, I joke a lot that I hate people. Right. I don't think we talk enough about how valued and how important friendships are, not relationships, not dating, not marriage like crap, but the concept of friendships, right? We don't need a lot of friends, but we need a few good ones. Would you agree with that? 

[00:03:29] Liv: Absolutely. And when you think about it this way, like you're, you know, that kid grows up and he moves to New York City and he doesn't know anyone and he is starting a new job and he doesn't have anyone to talk to. Like, that's debilitating and, and just one person can make a huge difference in his life. So, you know, I was that kid. I moved to New York and I knew no one, and I was jealous of people in the street who had plans. And Peter, I'm not weird, you know. I have friends, but for some reason in your twenties and your thirties, it's so hard to make those adult friendships that really can make a huge difference. So, um, I noticed that and just kind of got sick of having this, this issue and figured other people might as well. 

[00:04:12] Peter: Tell me for, okay, so let's go back. Tell me what you do. Tell me your story. Um, you're not, you have never been diagnosed ADHD but you're pretty sure you have it. I met you, I knew in about three seconds you did. Tell me what your story is, how you came up with this idea. What's your background? Tell us the whole thing. 

[00:04:26] Liv: Yeah, absolutely. 

[00:04:27] Peter: As far as my audience is gonna know, looking at your photo, they just say, oh, she's six foot. Of course she goes to all the clubs. Of course she has tons of friends. I'm right.

[00:04:34] Liv: I'm actually five four. I'm not six foot. 

[00:04:36] Peter: You come across very tall in your photos. Tell us the biggest story about you.

[00:04:39] Liv: So I'm uh, from New Jersey. I have a twin brother. Grew up with a family of entrepreneurs. Every single hu human in my family line has been an entrepreneur. My dad has major ADD, um, and I've always just had a million different things that I love to do. My brain is non- stop. It's exhausting being inside of it. Um, I have a really hard time focusing on just one thing. Um, I have little quirks and, and things that I actually read about in your book that I thought were just me things, that happen to be, um, ADD things. So I've kind of harnessed it as my superpower and the things that I really love. I've been able to turn into businesses that make money. So the first is brand caffeine. Uh, my twin brother and I own a digital marketing agency and we launch content strategy, paid ads for brands and personal brands. Um, so we're responsible for making people blow up on social media and their sales. Um, but in terms of my personal, I, on Liv Schreiber have, um, a following on Instagram and TikTok, both of which, um, on my explorer pages think I have ADD as well. So I'm constantly getting fed, you know, signs. You have ADD every day. Um, and then, you know, I started Hot and social about a year ago. Where people come to meet new people. It's not weird. They're not weird people. It's all super cool and um, the premise is everyone comes solo and leaves as friends. So it's really, really special and very fulfilling. 

[00:06:12] Peter: I like that. What brought you to create something where people, you know what, most people have created a dating app. Create a relationship app. I remember, I remember going to the hell back in like early two thousands, going to the hell that was the J-Date, matzo balls every Christmas and, and, and leaving and thinking that there was no hope for humanity and I wasn't really wrong. But, um, tell me what, what, uh, pushed you to decide to do something for friendship as opposed to like dating relationships, which is usually where everyone else goes.

[00:06:39] Liv: Yeah. Number one, I'm not like a, a very sexual influencer showing my boobs on Instagram. So it, it just wouldn't, as a Lisa Lit, our shared friend would say, no fit my brand aesthetic. Um, That's number one. Um, it started out as hot and single because my twin brother was single. And I go around and I interview people who are hot and single, but that's just not the root of who I am. So in honor of that authenticity, um, switched it over, rebranded to hot and social. And the point is, is that when you come in just looking for friends or just looking to meet one other people, you're always pleasantly surprised and leave with more, especially if you do happen to meet a romantic connection. It's not something that you went in looking for. And I think that's the problem with a lot of dating apps is people are going in with this expectation and being let down every time. 

[00:07:32] Peter: Yeah, it makes sense. I mean I think that that, you know, especially cuz dating apps need people to get let down in order for them to continue to make money. Exactly. Right. If everyone on dating apps found everyone immediately, they're, they're, you know, dating apps anymore. 

[00:07:43] Liv: Right. And the great thing is there is a cap in, I guess some societies on romantic partners, but there's no cap on friendship. You can come and come back and come back again and still, you know, be excited by new people that you're meeting. 

[00:07:58] Peter: It's very possible. Um, tell us about the people who go to these events, because I imagine that if you're going to an event to make friends, right, there's two types of people who go to the, to an event to make friends type of people who, you know, I don't think people imagine like, oh, this is actually gonna be fun. I'm looking forward to this. You know, for, for a lot of people, d, ADHD, going into a room full of people where the expectation is you have to talk to all these people. You've never met. Right. And you have to, uh, make small talk for an hour, two hours, three hours is the equivalent of going to a dentist. 

[00:08:33] Liv: No, no, no. 

[00:08:35] Peter: I'm not saying, I'm not saying that's what you do, but for a lot of people with adhd, I mean, I don't necessarily know if going to a, going to a room, Hey, you're gonna go to this room and you're gonna, there's a hundred people there and you're gonna talk to 50 of them, and good luck. You know, that, that, that, I don't know. Root canals, I, I sort of broke up my mind. So tell us why this is different and tell us how people sort of survive this and enjoy it? 

[00:08:54] Liv: Okay. I love that. That's really funny. Um, so the number one thing is everyone's on the same page, so you're picturing yourself as going somewhere alone, where other people may know each other. This is. Peter. This is like freshman year of college. Everyone's on the same playing field. No one knows each other at the events. I show up solo. So it's really exciting because if you're someone that's looking to challenge themselves or just try something new or get out of the typical bar scene, it's really awesome because the energy is actually like ADD puppy. It's so friendly, so warm, so welcoming, so much great energy because you can literally turn to anyone there and know that they want to talk to you. I know that you wanna talk to them. Um, 

[00:09:43] Peter: what do people talk about? 

[00:09:44] Liv: Talk about everything. Where are you from? Where in the city are you? And we always have an activity, so it's not just like gathering people in a room with drinks. I barely drink, so it, that just wouldn't make sense. What we do is we do fun things. So, um, we're having pickleball tournaments. We had one on Friday, we have another one this coming Friday. So you know, everyone like does some rose and rally. We're drinking rose, and then we're going to rally. And learn how to play on the courts. We have comedy shows coming up, so it's like there's always an experience and something to talk about or look forward to or bond over. Um, and I think that's what makes us different. 

[00:10:19] Peter: There's obviously a need for these things, right? Why is it so hard to make friends and not so much just, you know, oh, in New York, I think it's hard for adults to make friends, period. Because we're, as kids, it's sort of expected of us, right? I remember I have this great photo of my daughter, um, when she's like two years old and she's with a bunch of her friends on the playground and we, someone said, okay, it's time to go, everyone, get your buddy. And they just walked over and they immediately held hands and there was no, uh, issue with that because that's what they're trained to do, right? So we trained them to do that. But at some point as we mature the concept of go find your buddy disappears, right? And people either go out on their own or they have their own social circle and they don't wanna move out of. Why do you think that is? Why do you think we, for lack of a better word, forget how to make friends?

[00:11:10] Liv: I think we get so absorbed by our own selves and, and by our own lives that we kind of forget that the world is going on around us. Like I, I think work comes into play and finding a partner comes into play and friendship kind of gets pushed to the side. Um, and it's sad because people kind of start, stop growing, right? Like, you know, every year in college we're forced to learn something new. But you become an adult and you kind of forget that that life is like a classroom too, and you have to constantly be pushing yourself and learning new things and meeting new people. So, you know, I, I don't think it's anything to shame ourselves about. I think it's just about remembering, oh, this thing's still going on, and, and there's so many people that are super cool that are out there that we don't even know exist yet. 

[00:12:02] Peter: It's very, very possible. I think that, that we get into these ruts, we get into sort of these moments where it's like, okay, I'm good. I have enough. Right? I don't need more. I don't want go through because it's hard to make friends, right? No one ever said it was easy, and so if we don't, if we have what we have and we're comfortable and we're in our comfort zone, we don't necessarily have to do more because that's hard to do. The problem is nothing grows in your comfort zone, and so over time you need to do that.

[00:12:23] Liv: No, I, I, exactly. I hear you. I agree with that.

[00:12:26] Peter: Uh, Liv how can people find you? What? I know you have a phenomenal Instagram. I follow it. What, what? Tell people what it is. So how people can find you more. 

[00:12:31] Liv: It's at Liv Schreiber. L i v s c h r e i b e r. Um, and Hot and Social is Hot and social. H o t and s o c i A L. Am I okay. I need to wake up. Um, But yeah, I'm super excited and I think also having ADD or undiagnosed ADD for everyone who's watching is actually such a benefit in friendships because you know, there's no one else who can text 20 of their friends at eight in the morning and check in on them and ask them how they're doing. Like I think having ADD actually is a huge, um, it, it, it's really a huge asset to my friendship. So, Peter, I'm really grateful that you've taught me that and reading your book and hearing, uh, you know, about all your tips and tricks on this podcast has really helped me. So thank you so much. Yeah.

[00:13:18] Peter: I appreciate it. Thank you. It's great. It's great to have you and, and, and hopefully we can connect again and see each other in person again. I had a lot of fun over that coffee a couple months ago. It was fun. 

Um, Guys, you've been listening to Fast Than Normal. We appreciate you. We love that you're here. If you haven't already checked out the new book, the Boy With the Faster Brain, it was on Today in New York yesterday on the Today Show. It is blowing up. It is. It is gaining a lot of traction, if you haven't, please leave us reading on Amazon. We love that. But either way, we will see you next week with a brand new episode. Thank you again to Skylight frames, skylight calendar, https://skylightframe.com. Check them out. To 30 bucks off with code PeterShankman. We will see you guys next week. Have a wonderful, wonderful week. Stay safe, stay healthy! ADHD and all Neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. We'll see you soon.  —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

Having ADD or ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Hear from people all around the globe, from every walk of life, in every profession, from Rock Stars to CEOs, from Teachers to Politicians, who have learned how to unlock the gifts of their ADD and ADHD diagnosis, and use it to their personal and professional advantage, to build businesses, become millionaires, or simply better their lives.

—

Hey guys, Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today; what chores your child has to do today. It's basically a family calendar all-in-one. You can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what's on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog! - Mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she's done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we've ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You’re gonna love this Skylight calendar.  And you are gonna love.. I mean, truly it is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall, added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver- on your wall! So now your wall has pictures. That's cool. Check it out. I'll put the link in the show notes. https://www.skylightframe.com code:  PeterShankman

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:38 - Say hello to my daughter Jessa Shankman!

02:17 - How old are you and what grade are you in?

02:22: So when you think of the letters ADHD what do you think of?

02:43 - Do you get distracted sometimes? What do you do when you do- if you do, to re-center and focus?

03:30 - About daily routines

03:50 - What do you think about your Dad and ADHD?

05:00 - On getting distracted and realizing that you have become so. How do teachers help?

05:22 - What do you think kids can do to be more focused? 

05:52 - When is a fidget spinner really helpful?

06:42 - Can a little water help you focus? If so why do you think that is?

07:15 - What would you tell a kid who realizes that they are being distracted, doesn't like school and doesn't know how to fix any of it? 

08:09 - Ref: Amanda Steinbegr’s interview sponsored by Bouncy Bands https://www.fasterthannormal.com/ftn-052-failing-doesnt-mean-youre-a-failure-with-guest-amanda-steinberg/

08:24 - On the importance of being comfortable and being able to employ a comfortable posture

08:52 - Do you think that when you exercise it helps or hurts your focus?

09:10 - What about recess?

09:30 - Do you feel more focused if you've had a good night of sleep?

10:01 - Anything else you wanna tell kids who might have ADHD or might be distracted once in a while?

10:48 - Jessa and Peter’s big shout outs to Skylight calendar!

11:18 -  The Boy with the Faster Brain is now out! https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI

11:40 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

[After this interview Peter's dog, Waffle submitted a request to share more 'screen time' in future interviews. You can check-in on him here:  @petersdogwaffle on INSTA 

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. mostly somewhat: 

[00:00:40] Peter:  Hey guys, Peter Shankman, host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode, and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today, what chores your child has to do today. It's basically a family calendar with all in one, you can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what's on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog, mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she's done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we've ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You’re gonna love this Skylight calendar.  And you are gonna love. I mean, truly it. It is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall. Added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver on your wall. So now your wall has pictures. That's cool. Check it out. I'll put the link in the show notes. https://www.skylightframe.com code:  PeterShankman

[00:01:37] Peter: Hey guys, Peter Shankman, host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk for a second about the Skylight Calendar, the wonderful sponsors of this episode, and one of the things that keeps myself and my daughter on track. Skylight sits on your wall and tells you what you have to do today, what chores your child has to do today. It's basically a family calendar with all in one, you can color code. It is amazing for people with ADHD. I am truly in love with this thing. We look at it every single day. It tells us the weather. It tells us what's on our calendar. It tells us what chores are left to do. Oh, time to feed the dog, mark it off on the calendar. My daughter can check the box when she's done and the chore disappears. It is one of the best things we've ever had. You can get yours with a discount using code: PeterShankman .Check for the link in the show notes. And you are gonna love. I mean, truly it. It is amazing for people with ADHD or basically anyone who wants to keep track of their schedule. It sits on the wall. Added bonus. You can throw your own photos onto it as a screen saver on your wall. So now your wall has pictures. That's cool. Check it out. I'll put the link in the show notes. 

Welcome to Faster Than Normal. My name is Peter Shankman. I am sitting here today on a one-on-one interview with one of the most incredible people I've ever met, and I guess I kind of have to say that cuz we're talking to my daughter. We're talking to Jessa Shankman. Say, hi, Jessa. 

[00:01:54] Jessa: Hi, my name is Jess Shankman and I am the daughter of Peter Shankman. 

[00:01:57] Peter: We are gonna talk today about, we're gonna talk to my daughter about what it's like to have a Dad with ADHD. And we're sitting here, we're joined by Waffle the dog. And we'll take a picture and, and put it up as well of all three of us on all family on one couch. But we are talking today about what it's like for a Dad and for a Daughter when a Dad has ADHD and how a daughter deals with it. So, Jessa how old are you?

[00:02:18] Jessa: Nine. 

[00:02:19] Peter: Nine. What grade are you in?

[00:02:21] Jessa: I'm in fourth grade.

[00:02:22] Peter: Fourth grade. So when you think of the words ADHD and letters, adhd, what do you think of? 

[00:02:27] Jessa: Well, when I think of adhd. I just think of like the letters and the word or, yeah, the letters. I think of like, like a, what do you call? Like a just random numbers, like math. I just think of like when I think of adhd, I think of people who get distracted. 

[00:02:43] Peter: People get distracted. Okay. And do you get distracted sometimes?

[00:02:48] Jessa: Yes. A lot actually.

[00:02:49] Peter: A lot. And what do you do when you get distracted? 

[00:02:51] Jessa: Well, sometimes when I get distracted, I. lose focus or I, like, I keep doing it, but then if I realize I've gotten distracted, like today I was just, uh, like fidgeting or singing or something and I wasn't paying attention that I have to read my book. So then I was like, okay, yes, you have to read your book and be focused. So I just try to do that. 

[00:03:15] Peter: And how do, what happens when you, when you do, do you do anything special to help you refocus? We talked about sometimes you do exercises or, um, 

[00:03:24] Jessa: I don't usually do exercises, but sometimes I just need to get my mind. So I take, I don't usually take deep breaths, but I just try to get my mind in focus by using my mind.

[00:03:35] Peter: So breathing helps though, right? Sometimes taking deep breaths. Yeah. And sometimes when you're a little too hyper or sometimes we'll do exercises together. We'll do like, 

[00:03:42] Jessa: I was too hyper to read today, 

[00:03:43] Peter: too hyper to read today, what didja do like a Peloton workout or something. Normally if you get a work workout in the morning, you're pretty much focused all day.

[00:03:49] Jessa: Yeah. 

[00:03:49] Peter: Yeah. But I mean it also happens cuz you know you're also nine, so sometimes that happens. What do you think about when you think about your Dad and ADHD? 

[00:03:57] Jessa: Sometimes when I like ask him to like read me this or do something, he doesn't listen the first time and he sometimes gets distracted. But then if I say again, he's like, sorry, what'd you say? And then he listens. 

[00:04:14] Peter: So I think anyone can really have that. Anyone can get distracted. Right? So sometimes, but, but you also know that I do certain things to help you, control my ADHD like what? What do I do to control it? Like exercise and stuff like that? Exercise, yeah. I get on my bike every morning, 

[00:04:27] Jessa: right? Get on the bike If I [unintelligible] every morning. Yeah. 

[00:04:30] Peter: So I get on the bike and I do things so I'm able to focus better. But it's not, do you, do you see, like, do you have friends who have a hard time concentrating too? 

[00:04:39] Jessa: I don't think so. Most kids are prob, most kids are, oh yeah. One friend is, uh, but I think some, some of my friends are, but then they get, um, like focused.

[00:04:54] Peter: I think a lot of times what happens, especially when you're younger, is that you get distracted and you don't realize you're distracted. Right? So you're like, oh, what? And then you were like, oh, wait a second. I wasn't paying attention. 

[00:05:02] Jessa: that's what I do.

[00:05:03] Peter: Right. And that can be, that can get you in trouble sometimes. Like if a teacher's saying something, you have to listen. Right? 

[00:05:08] Jessa: Sometimes my teacher does point it out to me. 

[00:05:10] Peter: So your teacher, when your teacher points out to you, what does he say? 

[00:05:13] Jessa: He says, Jessica, Jessa.. Like, he just says that and he, 

[00:05:18] Peter: so he just says your name and then you like it sort of snaps you back in.

[00:05:21] Jessa: Yeah. 

[00:05:22] Peter: What do you think kids can do to be more focused? 

[00:05:27] Jessa: Have a fidget maybe near them, but also be, that being said, a fidget is a fidget. It could be more distracting. 

[00:05:35] Peter: Well, you're sitting here right now, you're playing with a little bit of slime, right? . 

[00:05:38] Jessa: Yeah, but I'm focused. 

[00:05:40] Peter: You're focused because you're giving your fingers something to do. Yeah. Right. So you're playing with your slime and you're rubbing it and like, so turning it into a ball, a ball or something like that. 

[00:05:49] Jessa: Sometimes a fidget can be really helpful and sometimes it can be distracting. 

[00:05:52] Peter: When is it really helpful? 

[00:05:54] Jessa: Uh, helpful. Like when you're, when you are kind of focused, but then like your hands are just like, Just like doing anything and you like, it's just, I don't really know how to say this, but sometimes when you're distracted, if like you're doing a math class or any class that you don't love and you like get bored, you should get something in your hands. Or it could be like a marble or it could be a piece of slime, but like not, not something to really get you distracted, like something that you can make a whole town out of. like clay. You can't have that. We You can't. It's a little something. Yeah. Just like a marble or like a, A magnet. Or a fidget spinner.

[00:06:34] Peter: That's a really good suggestion. So the goal is like to keep yourself sort of a little bit occupied. Keep your hands busy. 

[00:06:39] Jessa: Yeah. Keep your hands busy, but keep your focus on the teacher. 

[00:06:42] Peter: Do you think that you get more or less distracted if you've drank some water? Less like you drink water and you get less distracted.

[00:06:49] Jessa: Sometimes I do that, like sometimes I'm like, okay, I gotta go and get my water bottle. And then I drink, like, um, I drink a little bit of it, and then I'm like, okay, sit back down and focus on the Math. 

[00:07:00] Peter: So sometimes your distractions, your brain can be helped by water. Why do you think that is? 

[00:07:06] Jessa: Maybe the water just gets you refreshed.

[00:07:08] Peter: Yeah. 

[00:07:08] Jessa: And like,

[00:07:09] Peter: because your body may have like a lot of water. Yeah. The majority of your body is water, right? Yeah. What would you tell a kid who realizes that he or she is being distracted and doesn't like in school and doesn't know how to fix it? 

[00:07:22] Jessa: I would tell them to, if you realize you're getting distracted, then just notice it and try or drink a and drink water or just shake it up.[as Waffle laps at his water bowl in the background] Maybe like I would say raise your hand. Just go to the back of the room and maybe do like, maybe like I, you can't do jumping jacks in the middle of a class. Maybe some squats. But I would say, yeah, not even, maybe just like, maybe just moving your feet or something. Maybe standing up. Yeah, just standing up. Cuz sometimes if you're sitting down, you could easily be distracted. Just stand up and take a breath or take a break.

[00:07:58] Peter: I think there's also, there's um, you know, there's a company we had on the podcast called Bouncy Bands, where they make little bands that go on the bottom of the chair and you can just move your feet to those. Oh, really? So yeah, those are like helpful too. But yeah, I think at the end of the day, movement just stand up movement. Really helpful. Right? Really? Yeah. Just it's hard to sit down all day. Yeah. Back when, back when we were cavemen, we never sat down all day. If we sat down, we were sleeping. If we stood up, if we, if we weren't sleeping, we were hunting stuff and getting food.

Right? 

[00:08:24] Jessa: Yeah. Like also there's like, I sit on something that does not support my back and that makes it even harder to really sit and my back sometimes during the day. 

[00:08:35] Peter: What do you sit on that doesn't Like a chair or just a bench? 

[00:08:38] Jessa: You know, there's a bench. Oh, they bench in school. Yeah. But then most of the time if I'm like, I wanna, I want like I need to stand up, I would do that and then I would grab a chair, which, you know, it's better for me, like,

[00:08:51] Peter: yeah, definitely. Do you think that when you exercise it helps or hurts your focus? Helps. 

[00:08:56] Jessa: Helps. I just say like move your feet. Like you can't like, just like maybe like do, I don't think you should do like jumping jacks or squats. No. That's kinda tough in the middle of the class, but I think you should just like move your feet or move your arms.

[00:09:10] Peter: Like how do you feel after recess? Are you focused?

[00:09:12] Jessa: After recess, I am focused, but sometimes a little bit distracted. Recess gives you a time to run around, but some people don't run around. But .Do you? I sometimes, yeah. I, I don't love to run around that much. I don't love the game tag or, but sometimes I just sit and like try to get myself ready for the next. Or for the class or just, you know.

[00:09:35] Peter: Do you feel more focused if you having a good night sleep? 

[00:09:36] Jessa: I think so, yeah. Because sometimes I'm really tired in class and I'm like, I probably didn't get a good night's sleep. That explains, I went to bed at nine last night. Um, but I think sleep, I think you should really get a good night's sleep for you to help. Cuz you could be really tired in class. Yeah. And that wouldn't be good. You would fall, you would like almost fall asleep or you could just be like really tired that you would just fidget and just do this and you wouldn't pay attention to anything. 

[00:10:01] Peter: Anything else you wanna tell kids who might have ADHD or might be distracted once in a while.

[00:10:05] Jessa: I think just standing up, taking a break and then sitting back down, sitting in a comfy seat. You don't wanna sit in like a bad seat where you can get really distracted easily. I think you should just sit in a chair and listen or try to listen. Just take a break if you feel distracted or something like that. And yeah, that's it. 

[00:10:28] Peter: Awesome. Guys. That was my daughter, Jessa Shankman, who is enough to come on the podcast today, interrupting her day of, she's off this week, so interrupting her day of playing with slime and, and, and playing Roblox and, uh, talking to her friends. But really, really appreciate you taking the time, Jess. I love you very much.

[00:10:43] Jessa: Love you too. 

[00:10:43] Peter: Okay, guys. You've been listening to Faster Than Normal, my name is Peter Shankman. As always, we are thrilled that you're here. Big shout out again to Skylight Calendar. That frame, that calendar has saved my life countless times.

[00:10:53] Jessa: Can I tell them about it? 

[00:10:53] Peter: Yeah, go ahead. 

[00:10:54] Jessa: Skylight is really good cuz it helps me with my chores and like if I see like feed the dog, or clean up after breakfast, I can just tap it when it's done. And it also has cool pictures. You can upload pictures on it. 

[00:11:04] Peter: Yep. It is a very, very cool product. We both love it. Strongly recommended. Check the link out in the show notes, get a discount with the code. Peter Shankman. Guys, thank you so much for listening as always thanks to Steven Byrom, our wonderful executive editor and producer who creates amazing episodes for us every week. [Thank you too Peter! -sb]  We will see you next week. We are thrilled that you are here. ADHD and all forms of neurodiversity are gifts, not curses. And by the way, if you haven't picked up The Boy with the Faster Brain yet, it is on Amazon and it is a number one bestseller in all categories. So check it out, The Boy with the Faster Brain. It is a children's book about neurodiversity. 

Jessa: I love it. 

Peter: Thank you, Jessa. Guys, thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. Say bye, Jess. 

[00:11:39] Jessa: Bye 

[00:11:40] Peter: Bye guys!  —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

Hey guys. Peter Shankman here, the host of Faster Than Normal. I wanna talk to you for a second about the Skylight all in one family calendar. So Skylight sent me one of these a couple of months ago and I hung it on my wall. And God, how do I put this? My daughter no longer skips out on her chores! I know when her events are at school, we don't miss them. Everything is in front of us. It's a touchscreen. It's visible. It is the easiest thing I have ever used. It's beautiful. You can import your photos to it, or use the screen savers and it's right there. We sit down at breakfast. Everything she has that day is right there. Everything I need to know is right there. Did she do her chores? She does them. She checks off the box on the calendar. Oh my God. Greatest thing ever. It is amazing. I am in love with the Skylight Family calendar. I am using it constantly, literally every day, and I strongly recommend you guys pick it up too. They're a great supporter of Faster Than Normal. Neurodiverse families are going to love this. Use code: PeterShankman for 10% off, up to 30 bucks off. You're gonna love this Skylight calendar. It has changed my life with my daughter. It'll change yours too. Enjoy it. See you guys soon.

Today's encore! I have been listening to our guests for well more than a decade! They have been part of my playlist since the summer of 2006 when their music helped me run the NYC Marathon faster than I ever had before. You surely know their music too, even if you’ve never heard the name Shinedown! Their song “Get Up” is the most inspiring, straight to the point, song I’ve ever heard that challenges the stigmas of talking honestly about mental health. They are some of the hardest working Artists in the world, so I was honored when they agreed to spend some time with us here today, helping to grow & inspire more honest conversations about mental health. Shinedown is a multi-platinum rock band. The song "GET UP" is from their latest album "ATTENTION ATTENTION?" Enjoy!

In this episode Peter, Brent and Eric discuss:

1:08-  Intro and welcome Brent Smith and Eric Bass!

2:00-  After 136 shows spanning 48,000 miles, you guys were labeled The Hardest Working Artists of 2018! That’s a ton of work & a healthy mantle! How do you make sure that you are taking care of yourselves mentally?

5:37-  On loving what you do & being driven

6:10-  On the importance of surrounding yourself with good people & a good support system

9:49-  Brent, you wrote “Get Up” for Eric. The majority of folks don’t know how to talk to a friend who is, or might be struggling. What did you learn from writing this song?

14:08-  “You are not going to be defined by your failures. You are going to be defined by the fact that you refuse to give up- no matter what” -Brent Smith

16:05-  Peter on the importance of Music, and how music will pull you through  ref: “I Dare You”  ref:  Peter gets arrested for exercising, makes news.

18:24-  What is it about music, not books, movies, tv, etc, but music that people always credit with bringing them through a rough spell, or helping them remember a moment in time, etc. Why?

20:52-  Talk to me about the stigma around mental health. Finally there is a solid movement- between you guys, people like Erik Kussin who have started WeAreAllALittleCrazy.org, etc. What can people do to help grow the national/international conversation about mental health? ref:  Erik Kussin’s FTN interview here #SameHere

Follow Shinedown at:  http://www.shinedown.com FB Twitter INSTA YouTube AppleMusic Shazam Spotify

26:07-  Thank you Brent and Eric!! And thank YOU for subscribing, reviewing and listening.  Please.. stop right now and write us a review, EVEN IF you’ve reviewed us before, so that we will all be able to help & reach even more people!  You can always reach me at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. Also at @FasterThanNormal on all of the socials.

27:02-  Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits

As always, leave us a comment below and PLEASE drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! The more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! Know of anyone you think should be on the FTN podcast? Shoot us a note, we’d love to hear!

Having ADD or ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Hear from people all around the globe, from every walk of life, in every profession, from Rock Stars to CEOs, from Teachers to Politicians, who have learned how to unlock the gifts of their ADD and ADHD diagnosis, and use it to their personal and professional advantage, to build businesses, become millionaires, or simply better their lives.

We have a new book to tell you about:  

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

The Boy with the Faster Brain is now out! Click HERE to see & get it! https://amzn.to/3FcAKkI

12:35 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat: 

[00:00:40] Peter:  Hey guys. Peter Shankman, the host of Faster Than Normal. How you doing today? I wanna do a podcast on the new book; the children's book I wrote, that's coming out pretty soon, but as I was thinking about specifically how to do it in, in such a way that it wasn't just basically a podcast about my brand new book that read like an Ad. I was brainstorming ways on how to talk about it and that sent me down a rabbit hole of thinking about what it was like to be when I was a kid. And I thought about a couple of specific instances and, and as I thought about them, I wrote them down and um, I just wanna share them with you today. This won't be a long podcast, but there's a reason, there's a method to my madness here.

So I'm just back from boxing. I did an hour, uh, again at the gym. I'm going probably like three or four times a week now and I just love it. I, it is, it is like no other sport. It's, it's, for me, it's better than running. It's better than triathlon. It, it's just an hour of, of, of me one on one of the coach. And I realized why I love it so much. Not only cause I get to hit things and, and the more things I hit, the less people I have to hit. But there's a, a bigger reason for that. And I think as ADHD people we can relate to this. Boxing is finite and it's why I love skydiving the same way. When I'm boxing, the gym operates on bell system. There is a three. There is a bell that rings at the start of three minutes, at the end of three minutes, and at the end of a one minute break. No matter what I'm doing, no matter what I'm, I'm, no matter how much pain I'm in, no matter how much out, out of breath I am, whether I'm getting hit, whatever the case may be. I know that there's going to be a bell and that bell is going to give me a one minute respite, or in some cases the end of my workout. 

And I was thinking back, I remember in high school, I guess freshman year of high school, sophomore year of high school, I got, I got mugged and. I guess my Dad decided that it might be smart. I mean, I lived in New York City, it was understandable. My Dad decided to be smart to send me to a gym, to, to learn self-defense and lift weights and, and, and get bulked up. And, um, there weren't many weightlifting gyms. Um, I think it was the mid eighties, so it was like the era of, uh, Jack Lalaine or, or. Cardio Jazzer size or whatever, there weren't a lot of gyms and, and even fewer gyms that that allowed kids. But my parents found a gym, like an old school gym with, you know, weights and, and problem was, it wasn't a trainer like Mick from Rocky, which is what I was hoping for. It was some. Juiced up. I don't wanna say Guido cause that's an offensive term, but you get, you get the idea of of of what I mean that's what I remember and I, I certainly meant no offense by that, but it was, it was definitely a guy with an accent that probably from Brooklyn, or Queens, and everything we did for the week or two that I went there before I quit was, yeah, hit harder, kick some ass. No one's, no one's gonna mess with you and it was the exact opposite of what I was hoping for at a gym. And I, you know, obviously didn't last long there. I, I hated it. And, uh, I wasn't that kind of kid. I wasn't the kid who wanted to go get jacked up and, and, and, and, and, you know, I just wanted to, to put on a few pounds or shed a few pounds and build a few pounds of muscle. It was total opposite what I needed.

And I was thinking about that because growing up, everything I ever tried like that. I mean, I remember going to a gym with my Dad when I was like 10, lasted a couple weeks there. And I remember going, you know, I, I to be on diets and I'd try this and that. Nothing really took. Wasn't until my late twenties when I discovered running and running took because sort of now that I think about the same reason as boxing, running at a start point and an end point. Right, I'm running five miles. Well, that meant I'd run five miles and when those five miles were over, I would stop running . 

Um, and I think that's a big thing that when you're ADHD especially when look, when you're a kid, I mean, I can tell you about my daughter; no matter what I make her do. . It has to be, how long do I have to do it? Jessa did you get your reading done tonight? Every, every night she's supposed to do 30 minutes of reading. Right. So there's, you know, and, and she loves, she's a great reader, but she, and she loves when she gets into a good book, but she doesn't like reading as a concept. And so there'll be times when it's like, Jessa, did says, you do 30 minutes of reading. Uh, no, I'm gonna start, can I, can I only do 20? No, do 30. And then she'll set an iPad timer. And I swear to you the, the, the, the millisecond that thing dings, she's. Doesn't matter if she's in the middle of a word. Doesn't matter if she's about to find out who the killer is. Ding, okay, I'm done. Did 30 minutes. In her mind. It's about those 30 minutes.

Now all kids are like that. But I think the problem I had with exercise as a whole growing up, it was not my thing. I I, I've said this before, I, I ran by pressing X on a joystick and then college, I ran to the store for cigarettes and that was about it. Um, I think that what I learned. or what I didn't have then that I have now in like boxing and running is the premise of a finite time, a finite workout. You know, a lot of times we try and figure out, okay, I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna exercise every single day and I'm gonna do this and that. And we don't put a start putting an end point to it. And because of that, in our mind, we're five minutes in, and it's never going to end. Well. If it's never gonna end, I might as well quit right now because there's no way I could do this forever. And one of the things that I've found, About boxing. It ends after three minutes, it's over for a minute and you can breathe. 

So perhaps one of the ways we talk to our kids about ways of getting the dopamine and the serotonin and the adrenaline that we need; is we introduce them to timed things right. I remember when I ran, when I, I started running last summer with my daughter, and of course she hated it until she started liking it. She got her first dopamine hit. She's like, Ooh. But we started running in a half a block. In how much further do we have to go until we, you know, and we, I said, we're gonna go to the end of this block and then we're gonna turn, make a left to go three blocks down and then three blocks back up, and then we're gonna come home. And as soon as I said that, she stopped complaining because she could envision in her mind, how long she had to do. Right? Three blocks. Three blocks. Turn around. Three blocks. Three blocks. And I think that's something that not only is good for our kids with ADHD, but good for us as well. It's why we all set timers. Okay, I'm gonna work for 55 minutes. I'm gonna spend five minutes standing up, go to the bathroom doing deep stretches, and then work for another 55 minutes. It's why I do when I on a plane, I know that I have 14 hours to write this book. , I'll break that into six hours and then break the, you know, we're seven hours break, seven hours, two and a half hours, whatever.

I don't think we give enough appreciation to time, even though time's a manmade, manmade construct. The premise of breaking things into smaller bits of time is very, very beneficial for someone with ADHD or a faster brain or any form of neurodiversity because it allows us to not be frightened by a massive thing, right? We're not frightened of a, oh my God, I have to do an hour of exercise. I know that when I go to the gym, I'm gonna be working out nonstop for an hour, but I know that every three minutes I get 60 seconds off, and by the end of that hour, I'm sweating my ass off and I'm dying but, I get 60 seconds off and that gets me through the next three minutes and the three minutes after that, and then three minutes after that and all of a sudden it's an hour and I'm told to take off my wraps and my gloves, my wraps, and go home. So let's think about that. Let's think about assigning time values to things that might help us get through a lot of stuff.

So that's probably a good lead in to this book. I wrote a book called The Boy with the Faster Brain, and it's, it's a fiction book that's autobiographical. How about that? It's about Peter, a 10 year old, very hyperactive kid who gets a lot of notes home. Every day, gets a note home from the teacher about how he made jokes in class, how he interrupted the class, how he did all these things. Peter gets in a lot of trouble. Peter, doesn't mean to get in a lot of trouble. Because what Peter discovers is that when he tells those jokes and his class laughs, he gets this jolt of bolt of lightning, this jolt of electricity in his brain and it allows him to focus. Of course, he usually has to focus on walking himself down to the principal's office to get in trouble.

I wrote this book because I don't ever want one another kid to grow up going through in school and even as an adult. For years going through what I went through as a kid and an adult, I don't ever want anyone to go through that again, and if this book helps even one kid understand that they shouldn't hide their differences, but embrace them, then I've done my job. 

The book is launching on the 21st, but for listeners, it's launching earlier and I'm putting a link down below. [awaiting link and code]  And I am very excited about it. I'm excited because it's my first non-business book. No, it's my second non-business book, Faster Than Normal being my first one, but this one, it's for kids. It's my first children's book and I am, I'm just really psyched about that. I hope it helps a lot of people, including you and including your children. 

It's my, also my first self-published book, and so I can do a lot with it. So you guys want me to come and speak to your school? Want me to come and speak to your company? Company? Sure. Buy some books. We'll work something out. Um, I can give them away, I can donate them to schools. I can do whatever I want. It's my book. And what I found also is that I'm starting to get a lot of calls lately from corporations. Hey, can you come in and talk about neurodiversity in the workplace? I, gave a keynote to. Google last week I have Morgan Stanley coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm in talks with several other large companies to come in and talk about, um, not customer experience but neurodiversity in the workplace. And so if that's something that I can help you guys out with as well, shoot me a note. I have several keynotes on it and I'd love to do more about it. And we can work something out where you buy some books, donate them to a school or something, and I'll come and speak. I'm excited! 

The Boy with the Faster Brain. I really hope it changes some lives. I really do. 

So as always, thank you for listening. I love you guys. I'm greatly appreciative. My email is peter@shankman.com. I answer all my questions. Any I answer all my emails personally. Ask, email, tell me what's up, and let's chat. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your excitement. All the emails you've sent me about the Boy with the Faster Brain, I am really stoked as well. And I'll see you next week. 

And . Again, I wanna give a huge shout out to Skylight. [LINK WAS NOT READY AT THE TIME OF THIS RELEASE- SHALL BE UPDATED AT WWW.FASTERTHANNORMAL.COM] This frame and this calendar that hangs on the wall has changed my life with Jessa, it makes life so much easier. It has a short chart and has meal planning, and it cus custom lists weather, you can get a mobile app for it. It has share access. You can invite your spouse or your ex-spouse or your co-parenting partner kids, close friends, anyone you want. Um, you can color code. My daughter is pink. I am red. You can ch change the views and you can, the coolest thing is you can take all your photos and turn them into a screensaver when you're not using the calendar. Just random photos of like, me, Jessa, and my dog show up. So it's pretty cool. Uh, the, the link is below skylightframe.com . The um, uh, coupon code is below as well. And, uh, yeah, I am really, really excited to work with you guys and see what you're doing with the frame. Send me some photos. I'll send it over to them. We'll get you on Instagram, but yeah, it's gonna be good. The, the Frame, the book, The Boy with the Faster Brain, the podcast, I owe you guys a lot for being here. And don't ever think I'm not grateful cause I really am. Love you guys. Talk to you next week! —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

About our guest today, Teresa Clark:

An innovative and forward-thinking leader Teresa Clark is the founder and alchemist of The Wellness Revolution. A pioneering culture and employee wellbeing company reimagining the workplace to unleash human potential. Built on the belief that the world of work plays an important role in transforming society and that by supporting people to live happier and healthier lives we can co-create happier and healthier societies together. She is deeply passionate about social justice, human flourishing, and the power of creativity to transform society. A public speaker, transformation and resilience expert, Teresa’s moving personal journey as a woman who received a 4-year prison sentence for the deaths of 3 of her friends in a car accident where she fell asleep at the wheel after a festival, has led her on a turbulent journey of personal recovery from extreme physical injury, psychological and emotional trauma. The deep remorse and transformative journey of finding peace and amends birthed a life trajectory driven by a magnanimous compassion to create positive social change centered around a deep passion and purpose to help others.  With 12 years of experience working within mental health for the criminal justice system, NHS, and charity sector, she has consulted at local and national levels and led cultural change across organisations through the design and development of award-winning programmes and services. Through her work, she has empowered thousands of people to reconnect with their authentic selves and transform their lives creating synergistic outcomes from collective shifts in mindset to social impact.  Enjoy! 

In this episode Peter and Teresa Clark discuss:  

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:00 - Intro and welcome Teresa Clark

01:24 - What gave you the idea to start a career in mental health?

02:45 - On masking strains and normalizing dishonesty in the workplace 

03:48 - How are companies beginning to take mental health seriously enough to implement change? [versus the bottom line]

05:00 - Are companies really making fundamental shifts? How and to what extent?

06:31 - On Google’s big bad goof-up

08:22 - “Don’t Be Evil” -Google

09:00 - What do you do once inside a company; how does consulting work best? webster.com/dictionary/reticent">Definition of reticent

10:10 - Breaking the stigma takes courage and intentional, comprehensive systems of support, time, training, positive reinforcement and encouragement, inclusive of leadership.

12:58 - How can people find more about you? 

Web:  www.thewellnessrevolution.co.uk

Socials:  @thewellnessrevolution_ on INSTA  @ThewellnessR on Twitter

13:23 - When HR and Business Leaders allow certain foundations for our people to flourish, our business will flourish. It's a natural thing. And it’s been proven. Ref: Deloitte health-and-employers-the-case-for-investment.html"> article Deloitte study: uk-mental-health-report-2022.pdf"> Mental Health and Employers: The Case for Investment – Pandemic and Beyond

14:40 - The Boy With the Faster Brain is out very soon!!

15:14 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat: 

[00:00:40] Peter: Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of Faster Than Normal. My name is Peter Shankman. I'm your host. I will guide you through this journey today where we talk about A D H D in the workplace and all neurodiversity really in mental health in the place for a change. We're talking Teresa Clark. And Teresa Clark is the founder I believe, of the Wellness Revolution. She's based in London, England, and her job is to help company culture, enhance employee experience, and unleash the potential of the people who work for said companies. They are a pioneering culture and employee wellbeing company built for businesses of the future. They support forward-thinking organizations to create cultures of happiness fueled by passion, purpose, and creativity. So welcome, good to have. 

[00:01:19] Teresa: Thank you for having me. It's great to be here. 

[00:01:22] Peter: So let's dive in. What gave you the idea to start a company focusing on business mental health? 

[00:01:29] Teresa: So I, my career is in, um, working for the N H S. I've worked in mental health for about 12 years, and it was during my time when I worked for, um, a big mental health trust in North London when I was working actually in a hospital. And, um, I started to kind of look around and just see, we had a really high turnover of staff and the nature of the work was very intense because I worked in forensics, which is, um, a part of type of mental. Services, which when people commit offenses, they go into hospital as opposed to prison. So as you can imagine, you, you are, you know, experiencing quite a lot of sad cases. It's the works quite heavy. But even so, um, we just had this huge turnaround of staff and as I was there longer and longer, I realized that we weren't looking after our own people's mental health and that the workloads were huge. People were really stressed out if somebody came and said that they were experiencing. their own issues. It wasn't treated very well. In fact, there was a kind of real fear culture that nobody would've said that. Um, and they would've just gone off work with, you know, explained it underneath another sickness. But it was actually to do with that. And what was happening, which was really, really sad, was that was actually affecting patient care. So I started to sort of think, wow, if this is happening in a mental health trust, what's happening in the real world? And I started to kind of look at my family and friends and acquaintances and kind of see that, you know, we all struggle with something. Some of us might talk about it, others might not. But you know, mental health is just the same as physical health. And I just started to, to sort of think about how many toxic work cultures there are in the. and that we really need to do something about it because we spend 90,000 hours of work in our lifetime. And that is a long time to be stuck somewhere where you feel miserable and the, and the outcomes of that in terms of your own physical and mental health, but also the ripple effect that it has on your family, your friends, uh, and just sort of society at large, really. So I thought if we can really shift the workplace to be somewhere where. It actually lays the foundations for people to reach their potential, you know, optimal wellbeing. You know what a, what a different world we would live in. Sounds very idealistic, but I really do believe that we can do it. 

[00:03:48] Peter: So my first question is this. How are companies reacting to this? Because companies, you know, at least in the US, companies don't particularly like spending money on anything that doesn't help their bottom line, obviously. Mental health and mental wellbeing in the workplace does help the bottom line, but that's a hard explanation to give. I've been there. So how are, how are companies, uh, reacting to that first and foremost? 

[00:04:06] Teresa: Yeah, great question and you're right. I think there's still some attitudes that we need to change around wellbeing as a fluffy topic and that it's a nice to have but not actually imperative to your business success. But the good thing is there's, you know, the, the bodies of evidence of studies and case studies. Just, uh, continuing to rise and really, really being able to show that r roi, I call it return on happiness, to show the difference between a company that does foster, you know, positive experience for their employees and emo, um, employee wellbeing compared to one that doesn't or that does it surface level. So it's really about kind of presenting the figures, you know, talking to the people who are making the big decisions, because that's another thing that I think is really important. You know, getting the C-suite and people in leadership roles really involved so that it's not just a bottom up, it's a, you know, a top down and a bottom up approach. And that does really work. It's still, you know, it's still difficult. I think there are a lot of companies out there that are doing what, what's sort of known as like wellbeing, washing, similar. What people do on pride and things like that is sort of saying that they do it, but. You know, doing the opposite.

[00:05:16] Peter: Well, I mean, that's my, that was my next question. You know, the, we are, we're all familiar with, you know, uh, what are they doing for mental health? Oh, they're allowing wacky tie days on Friday. You know, it, it, it's, it's, you know, or free sandwiches does not equate to mental health and mental, mental, uh, caring. And so I think that, that one of the big. Um, issues that I've seen is that companies say, this sounds like a great idea, but then again, it's that question of actually getting 'em to commit because there's no, you know, the ROI isn't immediately seen. 

[00:05:45] Teresa: Yes. Yeah. And I think what we are seeing now because of this, is we are seeing kind of mass exodus at companies where people are, are leaving, you know, the great resignation or we wanna call it the great awakening. Either way, people are looking for a very different experience, particularly Gen Z. And millennials. And so if a company doesn't start to do these things, it's, you know, when you look to, to, to start a new company, if your company doesn't have a flexible working policy that doesn't have some sort of ea and that doesn't kind of offer some kind of wellbeing provision, it's gonna make you think twice about whether you take their offer because money's not everything, as we all know. And again, the research shows that people would rather take a pay cut to have those things and go and work for an organization that doesn't have that now. It's pretty shocking at what the kind of world is like at the moment, because I don't know if you'd, you'd seen that, you know, Google's laid off a load of staff just now, 

[00:06:39] Peter: including their, including the director of mental health and wellbeing. Yes, I saw that. 

[00:06:43] Teresa: So that's, you know, really, really scary considering that some, the company like Google is doing that. It's just, 

[00:06:49] Peter: that's also really telling, because if a company is big and as, as supposedly forward thinking as Google doesn't give a shit, why should any other company. 

[00:06:56] Teresa: Well, yes, it's true, but I'm, I I think it's also a very, very bad move for Google because they're losing their credibility as an employer. Like their, their employee brand is really suffering because it's not just about the businesses, it's about the people that work there and, and we, people that work that have as much sort of say in terms of, you know, whether they wanna work at an organization like that or whether they want to go and work for Microsoft. You have all of those benefits. So it's a about, you know, the companies really need to think about what their brand reputation is because that does, you know, in a marketplace it's gonna get more and more difficult now for, you know, jobs for everybody. That's something that everybody's gonna be looking at. Yeah. And how much money does it cost? I was gonna say, how much money does it cost to, to recruit somebody? Especially for a company like Google, you're probably thinking, you know, it's in the grands isn't it? So you don't wanna be not being able to retain your staff, cuz that's just gonna cost you more and more. So it'll be interesting to see the data on that bad decision and how that's gonna infect Google because it is gonna really affect them. I. . 

[00:08:01] Peter: Well, I think that's really the question, you know, is it we, and we'll have to wait and see on that. But I, I mean, I agree with you. I just, I feel like, you know, and, and this is maybe the, the New York City cynic and me, I just feel like companies that try, uh, you know, oh, we're gonna care, wanna care, you know, Google's, I mean, do you remember who Google's original motto, company motto was? Back in like the, the, the early two thousands? 

[00:08:20] Teresa: No, I don't think I do.

[00:08:22] Peter: It was literally don't be evil. Oh wow. Yeah, that was their, that was their corporate motto, their corporate culture motto. And, and they publicized it and they talked about it and they go, we're gonna be the good company. Because back then Microsoft and, you know, Yahoo, were the bad companies and. All of a sudden, you know, here they are laying off their, their, their, their vice president of, of, of mental health and wellbeing. So I, I, I think that companies talk a lot of, talk a great game and I wanna do this. And I think it's a lot harder to sell that story, um, in the real world because at the end of the day, you know, they're, they're shareholders are looking at the next quarter and not the next quarter centuries, which is, which is obviously a much bigger problem. Talk. What are you doing into, in terms of once you get into a company, you know, are you, are you listening? Are you holding sessions? How, how does this whole process work? Because, um, I remember the one time I did work for a company back in the nineties, I worked for America Online, and they had someone in-house who actually, uh, was a mental health, and this is, this is again the mid nineties, so that was pretty impressive that they were that forward thinking. And they had someone where you could just go in, you could say, Hey, you know, having a bad day, not having a good time, having a mental health day. And again, before any of this was, was popular. So, so how does it work from a consulting point of view?

[00:09:29] Teresa: Yeah. So what we do is we kind of go in and we just really get to understand the organization. We look at the values, we look at how the values are being lived. We look at the kind of main challenges around the people. We look at what they're doing really well, what they could do better, and then we speak to, um, the employees and we kind of find out anonymously what they're thinking. Cause I think. , that's a big thing. You know, companies have a lot of in-house surveys and things like that, but people are quite reticent to be honest. Completely, because there's kind of like a lot of fear about, you know, will I, right, will I be looked at differently if I say that I've got a mental health condition or that I'm struggling, or, you know what? How does my culture support mental health and wellbeing as it is now. So we kinda understand the energy of the organization, what's going on, what's going on that can't be seen, and then we kind of present that to, um, the C-suite or the people team, and we sort of talk about. , you know, what we can do to support them, what they wanna focus on first. Cuz sometimes you go in and there's quite a lot of things that they didn't realize are going on. So it's almost, you know, too much of a big job to do everything all in one go. So it's like, where do we start first? So that can be things like helping them to set up like wellbeing champions so that they're embedding wellbeing more regularly within their culture because it's gotta be kind of a movement that goes forward. We do a lot of workshops and webinars, training. Taking like a design thinking approach to the employee experience. So thinking about when you have new starters, like what's their experience like, how do we deal with, um, you know, when somebody comes to us with a problem, how do we make more space in our teams so that we are having more interaction socially? Because a lot of companies we work with now become completely remote. So you have to be really intentional about that employee experience. You know, as a brand, like how do we want our employees, what are our team rituals? How do we embed wellbeing so that it's not something that we're having to deal with when it reaches crisis point, that we've kind of creating a culture where people can come and talk about things. So we are supporting each other. So when we have a team meeting, somebody says, we do a check-in and someone says, I'm having a bit of a bad day today. , we are normalizing it cuz you and I both know as well, people that have ADHD you know, sometimes we are, we are having a terrible day, sometimes we're having a great day. But sometimes it's difficult to say that you are without, you know, fear of being judged because you don't wanna seem like you can't do the job or that, you know, they can't trust you. So there's so many things around that. So what we do is we try to really help, well, not we try, we do help the organizations to, to really look at that and then just getting some defining, um, ways of approaching that as an organization and as teams and as individuals. And we do, um, some really cool offsites and sort of revolutionary retreats where we look. Kind of issues are within leadership, and then we create kind of like a two day conference, which is much more based on sort of like human potential and like how we can be the best leaders and really kind of like changing the mindset in more of a kind of intense short way, which, which are really successful. Um, and we do panel talks like loads of things. We, we, what we do as an organization is we just try to be really innovative and approach mental health in a very different way than, uh, the sort of traditional sort of pathology of it. 

[00:12:58] Peter: Awesome. I love it. Well, the website is called the wellness revolution.co.uk and you can find everyone there, you can find the whole team there. And it is really great to have you on the podcast. I appreciate you taking the time. It is. With any luck, this is sort of the start of, you know, more and more people understanding that, that there is something here and that we have. Uh, pay attention. We can't just let this go, right, Teresa? 

[00:13:23] Teresa: Oh, definitely. And I wanted to, to give you a, a, a really interesting stat actually. Yeah, please. For those leaders out there that, um, are still kind of struggling to see the, the real kind of returns on it. D Deloitte did a report here recently, I think it was last year actually, so it could do with renewing now. But they said that for every pound that's spent, and obviously I know it's in pounds, not dollars for every pound that's spent on wellbeing and mental health interventions, company receives up to six pounds back in returns on reduced absenteeism, reduced presenteeism, reduce, and um, higher retention rates. So there really is like such a business case and I think what we're gonna see from now on, as well as obviously with things being so uncertain with economic kind of unrest, is that this is the main, you know, people are our highest value assets if we think about it like, So if we look after our people and they're, we are supporting their mental health cause we're still kind of suffering the fallout from Covid, you know, psychologically. that's still very much kind of impacting people in different ways. If we really do sort of, you know, give those foundations for our people to flourish, our business will flourish. It's a natural thing. So just, yeah. I hope that's kind of stuck into some people's heads and that they'll really start to look at it differently.

[00:14:40] Peter: I love it. I love it. Teresa, this is great. Thank you so much for taking the time. I really appreciate it. 

[00:14:45] Teresa: Oh, it's my pleasure. 

[00:14:46] Peter: Guys, as always, you know the drill Faster Than Normal is for you. We wanna know what you want to hear. Shoot us a note, let us know. And, uh, the children's book is coming out, should be out in about a month. The title is The Boy With the Faster Brain, so we are really excited for that. Stay tuned for more on that next week and we will see you next week. A D H D in all forms of neurodiversity are gift not a curse. Pay attention to your mental health. It is just as important, if not more so than your physical health. We'll see you soon. Thanks for listening!  —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

Evie Kirshner is an 18 year old gap year student studying in Israel on Kivunim. She graduated from the Heschel school and will be attending Emory university in the fall. Evie has ADHD and anxiety. In her spare time, she loves photography, watching movies, and reading. Today we learn why she was diagnosed early in her life, about some of the choices and decisions she’s made thus far, how they’re working out and her advice to you. Enjoy! 

In this episode Peter and Evie Kirshner discuss:  

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

01:05 - The Boy With the Faster Brain comes out in about a month!!

01:40 - Intro and welcome Evie Kirshner

01:50 - How’s the weather in Israel today?  Ref: The Kivunim Institute 

02:34 - So you were diagnosed in 1st grade. Tell us your story?

03:28 - Kind of how things go in first grade with ADHD or ADD

04:23 - What were some of your symptoms? Did you get in trouble much?

04:40 - Were you put on meds? Did they work?

05:20 - To sparkle or not to sparkle…

06:20 - You can't live the rest of your life just talking out of turn; or can you!? What happened?

07:02 - On resolution and resolve

07:54 - Is there anything you think you may need to change? Or for in the future?

09:05 - What was your parents’ reaction upon your diagnosis? 

10:00 - What would you tell a kid who's seven years old and getting diagnosed today?

10:20 - How can people find more about you? 

Socials: @EVKirshner on INSTA and Snapchat

11:28 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:

[00:00:42] Peter: Hi everyone. Welcome to Faster Than Normal. My name is Peter Shankman. It is great to have you for another episode. If you are binging this welcome back. Uh, someone emailed me today and they go, Hey, I found your podcast last week. I'm like, really? Which one? How many episodes do they go? All of them. I'm like, Just doing some quick math in my head. That's a lot of time, but either way, I am thrilled that you're here. It's great to have you guys. And if you haven't already heard, uh, the Children's book is launching in about a month. It is called The Boy With the Faster Brain. So I am super, super excited about that. We have a fun guest today. We're going to Israel. We are going to the Promised Land today to talk to Evie Kirschner, who's an 18 year old gap year student. She's studying in Israel on Kivunim, and she'll explain what that is. She graduated from the Herschel School. She'll be attending Emory University in the fall. She has ADD and anxiety, and she got diagnosed when she was in first grade, so around seven years old. I love talking to kids who are like 18 years old. They're like, yeah, I got diagnosed in first grade. I'm like, Mike Ben, when I was in first grade. They didn't even know what ADHD was. Welcome to the show. It's good to have you. 

[00:01:40] Evie: Thank you. 

[00:01:41] Peter: Well it's snowing here in New York. How's the weather in Israel?

[00:01:44] Evie: Oh, it's, it's actually pouring rain. I just got caught in the rain actually. It's not pretty out.

[00:01:49] Peter: Okay. And I don't feel so bad. good. Alright. Well, welcome to the podcast. Glad to have you. So I discovered you because I have lots of friends who send me articles and stuff all the time and say, oh, this person is adhd, you's interviewing them, and, and you caught my eye cause you wrote a beautiful article and you so, so first of all, tell us what you're doing in Israel. 

[00:02:07] Evie: This year I'm studying and traveling on a program called Kivunim. So five months out of the year we're studying, like basically taking college classes, you know, five days a week. And then for three months out of the eight we are traveling around the world. I'm going to 13 different countries and studying contemporary culture and ancient history and Jewish history and communities that existed in all those countries. So it's like, it's really cool stuff. It's, it's pretty awesome. 

[00:02:34] Peter: That's very, very cool. So let's talk about ADHD so you were diagnosed in first grade. What was that like? What was what? How did it come about? What the teachers say? Tell me your story. 

[00:02:43] Evie: I thought it was cancer. . I, I was so em embarrassed. I was fir when I was told I was devastated and I wouldn't tell anybody. It was like my deepest orca secret. I thought it was the only person in the world with adhd. My parents like sat me down and told me. I mean, they were running tests on my brain at NYU by the time I was eight. Really? Yes. I had a severe case especially, and this was in 19? This was in 2000, 2011. 12. Okay. I was always told I had the energy of a boy inside a girl and they had never seen anything like it, and that made me feel. I was like, oh no, I'm, I'm secretly like, have the energy of a boy, and this is like, I can't tell anyone. I have this like, big, heavy secret weighing on me. 

[00:03:28] Peter: Yeah. And that's in first grade. In first grade, that's kinda hard to handle. 

[00:03:31] Evie: Oh, it was really hard to handle. I was devastated and I, I, I really felt it all the time. Like I had something that made me different that I couldn't tell people about. Um, and I think, like as I got older, you know, people always say to me, well, everyone's a little ADD everyone's a little ADHD , and I'm like, well, hmm, hmm. . Um, I think like when you're, you know, doing, you're getting up in first grade and spinning circles around your desk while everyone's sitting and writing, I think like there's a difference. You know, there's the, there's dozing off and then there's like, actually there's not being able to function in a classroom at seven years old. 

[00:04:09] Peter: Yep. So what was, is that, was that some of the symptoms you were just a little, little hyper, a little. 

[00:04:14] Evie: I was hyper, I was crazy. I was, time and place did not occur to me. I kind of marched to the beat of my own drum. 

[00:04:23] Peter: Okay. That's funny. It's exactly what my mother used to tell me all the time. did it. Uh, did it get you in trouble at all? . 

[00:04:29] Evie: Oh, all the time. I was in the principal's office, like I'd say until high school, almost every day of, of middle school, at least. I think like in lower school, they were more lenient on me. Yeah. But I was in the, yeah, I was in the principals a lot. 

[00:04:43] Peter: So you were diagnosed in first grade, but were you put on meds? What happened?

[00:04:47] Evie: I was put on meds in third grade actually. Um, and I stayed on the same meds almost every day until my junior year of high school. Okay. 

[00:04:57] Peter: And were they, do you, did you feel like they were, did you feel like, did you feel like they were working?

[00:05:01] Evie: Oh, they were totally working, but they dulled my sparkle. Yeah. So I decided it was, it was time to let it go. 

[00:05:11] Peter: I understand that. And so, so when you say dulled your sparkle, why .Did it make you, obviously it made you more focused, but it, did it take away that ooph or did it take away that creativity?

[00:05:20] Evie: It took, it took away the oomph. It took away a lot of, it just kind of suppressed everything. It's almost as if, the way I describe it to people, like it's if you turn the saturation down, I'm like the way you, the way you see everything. 

[00:05:32] Peter: So you decided to get off of it in seventh grade. 

[00:05:35] Evie: Um, in junior year of high school I started oh, junior 

[00:05:37] Peter: high school. Okay. Okay. But you said you were in the principal's office a lot in high school? No, in middle school. In middle s. Okay. I'm confused. So you were on the meds and still gonna the principal's office. Oh yes. Interesting. Okay. And what were, what were your charges? What were you, what were you usually busted for?

[00:05:53] Evie: Um, making an inappropriate song in the middle of class. , um, texting, um, chatting with a friend over here, not being able to control what came outta my mouth, things like that. Examples like, 

[00:06:09] Peter: All right, so obviously there are a ton of people listening right now who hear themselves in your story, , I mean, including me. Um, so what did you do, right? It's obviously you can't live the rest of your life just talking at a turn. I mean, maybe you can. So what happened?

[00:06:26] Evie: I think it actually wasn't necessarily anything that changed in me, but something that changed in the people around me in that I think they realized I was a well-intentioned kid. Smart. I had a good head on my shoulders and I meant, I meant well. Um, I was loving and deep down I was really respectful. I just didn't always show respect and often displayed disrespect. But, um, it had nothing to do with how I felt about my teachers or my peers and more to do with something that I was struggling with internally.

[00:07:00] Peter: Interesting. So, am I getting sort of the feeling that you just, for lack of a better word, just decided I'm gonna live my life. 

[00:07:09] Evie: Yeah, I did. I think like, I mean, I'm still at the point where I'm, you know, deciding, okay, I don't have to change this. I don't have to be self-conscious about this anymore. People around me are gonna have to learn to accept this, and I don't have to be the one that stops kicking the desk or stops, you know, biting my fingernails or dozing off or seeming like I'm not paying attention when someone's speaking because if they know me well enough, they'll know that I am. . And I think like I'm, I think I'm still getting to that point in many ways and I'll see other ways in which that manifests itself over time. But I think I have like chucked a lot of it in the efit bucket like I think that, um, there were many things, especially the way it manifests itself in the classroom, that I just said to myself, okay, so this might be something that I have to explain to teachers, not change, 

[00:07:54] Peter: Is there anything that you think may have to change? I mean, I, I am all in the category of, hey, here's who I am, deal with it. But I also know that there are times, right. Especially in my quote unquote adult life, um, where I have to, okay, you're, you're going to listen to this visiting professor. You probably shouldn't make a joke in the middle class, or things like that. Mm-hmm. . So are there any points that you've seen that yet?

[00:08:17] Evie: Yes. So I think now that I'm kind of in a more of a college setting, um, I find that, and even in high school, I find that when it, when it gets hard and I feel impulses coming on, or it's hard for me to sit still in class, I just, I just leave and come back. Okay. Or I'll do, I'll do something else. I can't be sitting still with thoughts and impulses and wanting to speak, and I'll either be doodling or tapping my foot or bit like, uh, or, or I'll just leave the room. 

[00:08:49] Peter: Interesting. Interesting. So you are, you've basically accepted what you have. You don't take meds for it and you're sort of pulling a a, a Greatest Showman. This is me. 

[00:09:02] Evie: Yes. This is me. . 

[00:09:04] Peter: Awesome. Okay. What did your, um, parents, uh, how were they when you first got diagnosed? What was their, what was their, uh, reaction?

[00:09:13] Evie: They, well, I, they took it very seriously, which is I think why I thought it was such a huge deal. They were like, you have ADHD , we're gonna take you to a therapist, get you meds. And I was like, oh shit. I'm like, dying of something as hard . I was, I was really, I was really scared. Um, but my parents took it very seriously. I, lucky enough, I have a mom who works in the world of learning disabilities um, and she very much like got me the help I needed academically early on. You know, taught me that it's a, it's a gift, not a curse. And, um, even though I felt for a lot of my childhood, like it was, and I think I, I had parents who always reminded me that I'm gonna realize one day that my, I actually really do love the way my brain works. 

[00:09:59] Peter: Awesome. I love that. So what would you tell a kid who's, uh, seven years old getting diagnosed? 

[00:10:05] Evie: That their brain is beautiful. Mm-hmm. .And it might take time to realize. And other people are gonna see it first. And other people are gonna tell you it's not there, but you'll see it over time. 

[00:10:17] Peter: Very, very cool. Very, very cool. Tell us how people can find you. Are you on any of the socials? 

[00:10:23] Evie: I am, I'm on social media. I am on Instagram and Snapchat. I don't really have any other, 

[00:10:30] Peter: what's your username on Instagram? I. 

Evie Kirshner, the letters E & V K I R S H N E R. 

Okay. Very cool. Well, okay. Thank you so much for taking the time. I appreciate it. 

[00:10:42] Evie: Thank you.

I'm gonna have you back, I'm gonna have you back next year and see how, uh, Emory's treating you. I have a lot of friends who went there.

Oh, really? Okay. Well that'd be awesome. I'm looking forward to it.

[00:10:50] Peter: Very cool. Guys, you've been listening to Peter Shankman and this is, that was Evie Kirshner talking about Faster Than Normal and talking about how she grew up A D H D and when she finally decided to say screw it, and live her life and sounds to me like she's doing just fine.

We'll be back next week with another episode. As always, wanna hear what you think, you can leave us, review anywhere, you can tell us what's going on. Wanna thank Steven Byrom, who's our editor and producer, who constantly shakes his head when in the middle of an episode I go, oh, by the way, Steven, do this. So we love you, Steven, [Your Producer/editor loves you too, is proud of the work this podcast is doing and hopes that these transcripts are helpful] and uh, we will see you guys next week with another episode of Faster Than Normal, and hopefully by then I'll have some info on when the book will be out. So stay tuned. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you soon!   —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

Nik's Social Media Channel ADHDVision is a global movement aimed at improving well-being, productivity and overall life quality for people with attention deficit disorder (ADHD). With over 150 Million views in just under 2 years Nik has rapidly created a community of over 1.8 million people who follow him and are inspired by his work to live their BEST life with their brain. He is currently running an international inner circle of ADHD business owners and is on a mission to make the knowledge around creating and thriving as a business owner with ADHD more accessible. Enjoy! 

In this episode Peter and Nik Hobrecker discuss:  

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

00:47 - Intro and welcome Nik Hobrecker!

01:47 - Tell us your story; when were you diagnosed?

02:41 - It all was kind of like an ‘explainer bomb’

03:30 - You live in an especially beautiful part of Thailand. How do you stay productive? Ref: Faster Than Normal book

05:00 - On rejection sensitivity and living in a ‘vacation destination’.

06:30 - What have you been learning from your new Mastermind group; how best to lead?

07:30 - Ref: Perfectionism, decision paralysis, imposter syndrome

08:14 - How many people do you have in your group?

08:45 - What are some of the things you’ve learned by running this group?

09:49 - What would you tell an entrepreneur who's just been diagnosed; next steps, etc?

14:40 - How can people find more about you? 

Socials: @ADHDVision:  YouTube  INSTA  TikTok  Twitter

This was great- thank you Nik!

11:37 - Drumroll please:  I have a new book coming out mid-February! The title is….

12:21 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:

[00:00:39] Peter: Hello everyone. Good morning and welcome to another episode of Faster Than Normal. My name is Peter Shankman. I wanna say how many words I could say all in one breath. Good to have you guys. It is a pleasure to see you all again. Talk to you all again. It is wonderful to be back, pretty much back weekly. Now we have a bunch of episodes in the can, so things are good. Let's take a trip today.

Let's take a trip. All the way over to Asia, into Thailand, where we're gonna meet up with Nick Hobrecker. Nick has a really cool backstory and I'll let him tell you, but all what all you need to know is he runs a social media channel called A D H D Vision with over 150 million views. Atta aimed at improving wellbeing, productivity, overall life quality for people with A D H D. Sounds like someone you know. He's created a community of over 1.8 million people who follow him and are inspired by his work to live their best life with their brain. He's running an international circle of ADHD business owners again. Sounds like someone you know. Nick, welcome to the podcast. Good to have you, 

[00:01:35] Nik: Peter. Lovely to be here. Thank you for having me, my friend. 

[00:01:38] Peter: It's great to, great to have you. It's great to find someone on the other side of the world doing the same thing. Tell us your story. How are you diagnosed? How'd you figure it out? Um, how old are you? What's, what's the, what's everything? . 

[00:01:48] Nik: Yeah man. So first of all, I'm from Germany, so, um, the whole notion of ADHD, uh, is still arriving there as we speak. Um, I got diagnosed in college, so quite late. I was about 21. If my memory serves me correctly, probably won't, but about 21. And, um, I was studying entrepreneurship in college. It was my fourth, fifth semester and, you know, classical story, mind blown. My whole life has explained itself to me all in a flash. And that's when I started creating content. I was active on YouTube way before then, you know, I was making funny videos on some random games. You know, Roone Scape League of Legends was always a passion of mine. And then I found a way to channel that passion into something helpful for people, which, um, you know, has now gained me that, uh, the amount of followers and, and the views that, that you just mentioned. I'm very grateful for it. I'm really, really happy to be able to reach the people that I do. And, um, Yeah. It's just, you know, showing people what my journey has been and trying my best to, to educate, uh, them so they don't have to say, have the same mistakes and go through the same struggles that I did.

[00:02:51] Peter: Yeah, it is, it is a wake up call when you figure out exactly what's going on and how you can use that to your advantage, isn't it? 

[00:03:00] Nik: It is, it's, it's huge. Um, you know, I keep going back to the same thing, saying the same thing, but it always, for me it's just, it's like an explainer bomb, right? All of a sudden, you know Exactly, um, who you are, why you do the things you do, and why you've been different your whole life. And, um, yeah, wanted to give that, that knowledge and that awareness to more people, because for me, it was a game changer. Ever since then, my, my life completely turned. 

[00:03:27] Peter: Tell me about, uh, an average day for you. Cause right now you're in, you're in Poquette, Thailand, which is one of the most beautiful places in the world. It's, it's a favorite place of mine. I've been there many, many times and I don't necessarily know how productive I'd be living in a place like Phuket Thailand. So tell us what you're doing to, to sort of stay productive and how are, how are you surviving that? 

[00:03:46] Nik: Man, let me, let me tell you, it's . It's a constant struggle, but, uh, there are a few routines in place, um, you know, occasional fun routines that I use to, to, uh, to stay on top of everything. So I do also wanna mention Peter, I, you know, your book Faster Than Normal helped me, um, a lot when I got diagnosed and it was actually part of my inspiration to go out and use my brain for, um, for its benefits. And, uh, what you mentioned in your book, uh, has stayed true, you know, pretty much ever since I've read it, which is just exercising, right, um, exercising in the morning, not just doing something for the dopamine for that reward chemical at the end, but doing something because you enjoy it. I really enjoy running. , right. Um, so every morning I try to do my run. I, I try to do my, my ab exercises. Um, I've got a gym just around the corner. Accessibility is everything, right? If the gym is around the corner, the motivation hurdle is a lot less steep. So that helps me. And other than that, you know what? Thailand is beautiful and the nature just also gives you that energy, right? There's been different studies, I think, on A D H D and nature and how can I help you focus. We've got a beautiful garden, outback, um, and you know, sometimes it's just great to to, to tank up the creativity that, that I need for from my videos.

[00:04:59] Peter: That's awesome. So it's, I mean, it's a beautiful, there's no question it's a beautiful location. Um, how is it working there in an environment that, that doesn't necessarily lend itself to work, per se? I mean, tell us what you're doing. Like, you know, what do you do to get sort of like a dopamine hit in the middle of the day. Are you gonna go out and run on the beach or are you gonna go for a swim or, you know, tell me about that. 

[00:05:18] Nik: What I like to do is just do something different to what I usually do. So it's just novelty. Novelty for me, gives me that dopamine kick, gives me that creative spark that I need to create new and and meaningful content. So, uh, for me it's just all about exploring this, this beautiful place. You know, we've, we've done so many different trips. I'm here with two of my very good high school friends who are also, you know, we like to call ourselves digital nomads, right? So we travel the world don't really have one specific place that we stay. And we just like to explore this, this beautiful island. I mean, you yourself, I think you've been here, Peter, right? It's, it's beautiful. You have um, this amazing culture shock of just, by the way, people are amazingly nice here. Yeah. Which is very nice for rejection sensitivity, cuz you never get rejected. Everybody's so nice to you, you know? Yeah. Um, on the one hand, on the other hand, you've got these, these beautiful beaches, these um, these amazing, I mean, we went to this huge statue of like a big Buddha. Um, it was a bit of a steep climb, but we went up there and inside this Buddha, they were actually meditating. Meditation has been a huge remedy for me and my A D H D right? Mindfulness. Um, and even though it's a struggle, um, sitting there in a big Buddha meditating with monks, I never knew I had a bucket list until that. You know what I mean? So that was, that was crazy. 

[00:06:33] Peter: That's very cool. Tell me about, um, let's, let's flip gears a little bit to the business side of things. Tell me about what you're doing in terms of, so you run a mastermind or, or a, a group. Yeah. Um, all focused, adhd. Are people coming to you with, are you finding that people coming to you from an ADHD standpoint with all the same problems? Um, you know, the lack of focus, the ability is everything different? 

[00:06:52] Nik: I mean, look, this mastermind that I'm now creating, right? We are in the very early stages. You know, it's, um, there's a lot of things that we still need to get right, but um, it's an experiment and we're testing things out, um, to see what's gonna give everybody the most value in the long term. Um, and what I've found, and the reason for creating this mastermind for ADHD Entrepreneurs in the first place is, you know, A D H D is often put on a pedestal when it comes to entrepreneurship, which it should be. We are great entrepreneurs, right? Five times more likely to start a business, et cetera. But, um, you know, we really talk about the struggles that do come with owning a business and having a D H D, right? Perfectionism, uh, decision paralysis, imposter syndrome. , all these different things that, that mass up into this, uh, big, you know, ball of, well, what the hell do I do now? Right? And that's where the inception of the group came from to have a support system. Right? One family that supports one another that gets one another, right? I think as business owners, Peter, you're probably gonna relate to this, is just as ADHD business owners, we often don't feel like the other people get it. You. 95% of people usually don't. And having a circle of like-minded people who get each other, um, and who can network with each other all at the same time, um, so far has been proving incredibly valuable. 

[00:08:14] Peter: Awesome. Uh, how many people do you have in the group?

[00:08:16] Nik: Right now? We've got 13. I wanna keep it really small because this is, you know, we're starting out. It's, it's an experiment. I wanna get everybody's feedback. I wanna make this the most kick ass group. Um, there, there is. And, um, you know, to do that, uh, we gotta dig down in the trenches and I wanna, you know, I've got feedback calls lined up with everybody. Um, and it's more like that we're creating this group together rather than just me, you know, spearheading it.

[00:08:38] Peter: Yep. That's awesome. That's awesome. What, what have you learned, um, about yourself from running a group like that? Because, I mean, I know that when I ran, when I run mine, one of the things I learned consistently, consistently, consistently over and over again is that I'm, that any problem I think I can have, right? Any problem I think that I, I'm probably the only person in the world that has this, there's no one else with, is not everyone has the same issues. Um, we just don't talk about 'em a lot. Right. So when you get into a group and you start doing that, it changes everything. So what are some of the things that you've learned?

[00:09:04] Nik: I mean, yeah, it's just, it's just exactly what you said. So I'm, I'm very fortunate to be in the position of being, um, you know, a bystander to listen to these amazing, vulnerable stories that do get shared. Um, and, you know, these are all very successful business owners that we have in this group. And you know what a lot of them talk about is, you know, problems like not really being understood, right. Wanting to people please everybody, even though it's your business. And, you know, certain things like that where you just, you. And you're like, damn, that's been, that's exactly been my experience. I just haven't been able to verbalize it. And just hearing that from people feeling at home is, I mean, I don't think there's any, um, any higher value than, than that. 

[00:09:48] Peter: Yeah, no question about it. What would you tell an entrepreneur who's just gotten diagnosed and who has all these questions and, and, and really doesn't know what the next step is? 

[00:09:58] Nik: Well, um, it's a great question. I don't think I can answer that in like one or two sentences, but the first thing that I would wanna tell them is that you've got a unique set of strengths that work for you, and you should use those strengths, get better at those strengths, right? Build your strengths, but. Try to outsource your weaknesses rather than like, try your best and like force yourself like, oh, I really have to do these financial, uh, statements right now. Like, no, get a virtual assistant for that. Right? You know, like there are certain things that your brain is just not meant to be doing. If you are an entrepreneur, of course, if you don't have the money, you're gonna have to stick through it. But, you know, virtual assistants are quite affordable nowadays, especially online. I know. Oh, totally. Um, I'm sure Peter, I don't know if, if you have, uh, I mean, how many virtual assistants do you have? Do you have one , two?

[00:10:44] Peter: I've, I've been fortunate. I've had the same assistant going on 15 years now. And she was originally, she originally started with me and then she moved, uh, went and got married. Uh, so she lives in Massachusetts now, but still works for me. Wow. 

[00:10:54] Nik: Well, fif 15 years. That is, um, that is awesome. 

[00:10:56] Peter: She saved my life. She saves my life on a, on a regular basis. 

[00:10:59] Nik: Yeah. Yeah, I hear that. I hear that. I've got one now. You know, we've been together, been together. Sounds, sounds odd, but you know, it's been 3, 4, 5 months. Um, and, um, yeah, she's, she's also been a lifesaver. So, I mean, but to get back to your question, that's what I would say. Focus on your strengths, outsource your weaknesses. 

[00:11:14] Peter: Awesome. I love it. Guys, thank you so much for listening. I really, Nick, thank you so much for taking the time. How can people find you? 

[00:11:21] Nik: Um, just at ADHDVision on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, you'll find me. Um, I'll be very happy to, uh, share some content with you.

[00:11:31] Peter: I love it guys. Check Nik out. And as always, if you like what you hear, leave us a note. And I told you some good news last week. I'm gonna repeat it again this week. There is a children's book coming out and I can share the name with you now. It is called The Boy with the Faster Brain. And it is, you know, the first question I get every time I say that first question is, oh, is it autobiography? Well, yeah, kind of. But I think you're gonna like it. I think you're gonna enjoy reading it, and it should be coming out mid-February, so I will have a lot more info on that soon. It is gonna be for your kids, anywhere from ages 8 to. 14. It's gonna be a lot of fun, so stay tuned for that. As always, thank you for listening. Thanks to our guest. If you know a guest you think should be on as cool as Nik, shoot us a note, peter@shankman.com or at Peter Shankman, all the socials or @ FasterNormal . We will see you guys next week. As always, thank you for listening. Stay strong. Bye. We'll see you next week. —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week! 

Abbie McCarthy is an award-winning TV / Radio presenter & DJ, you’ll find her hosting BBC Music Introducing in Kent on the airwaves every Saturday night and also bringing great new music & fun interviews to your TV screens on 4Music and E4 Extra with Fresh This Month. Abbie is known for bringing the party with her DJ sets and this year has played at a whole host of festivals, including Glastonbury, Latitude & Knebworth, as well as playing several arena shows. Abbie is also the host and curator of popular gig night Good Karma Club, which has put on early shows for the likes of Tom Grennan, Mae Muller, Easy Life & many more and has even featured some famous faces in the crowds over the years - Alex Turner, Lewis Capaldi & Wolf Alice. Abbie’s huge contribution to both the radio & music industry was celebrated when she was inducted into the Roll of Honour at Music Week’s Women In Music Awards 2018. Abbie has been highlighted by the Radio Academy as one of the brightest young stars in radio, recently featuring in their esteemed 30 under 30 list and winning Silver for Best Music Presenter at the ARIAs 2020. Aside from music, Abbie’s other passion is sport, which really shines through in her entertaining coverage on Matchday Live for Chelsea TV. You’ll also find Abbie guesting frequently on BBC Two’s football show, MOTDx and doing online coverage for England and the Lionesses football teams. How has she been so successful already, especially having just recently been diagnosed, and what advice does she impart to us? Enjoy! 

In this episode Peter and Abbie McCarthy discuss:  

00:40 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing!

00:47 - Intro and welcome Abbie ‘AbbieAbbieMac’ McCarthy!

03:00 - So you just got diagnosed a year ago, so tell us your backstory?

05:51 - What rituals have you put into play for yourself to be able to get through the boring stuff?

07:00 - Do you get a dopamine release after having completed a list, or boring stuff?

07:38 - Who happens when you have to quickly adjust course? How do you balance your dopamine producers at all hours of the day and night, as various types of work demands?

10:30 - How do you handle negative criticism, and keep performing at one hundred percent even on tough news days?

12:32 - What have you had to fight through with respect to your being a Millennial, and a Female in a often-times patronizing industry?

14:23 - Americans are learning more about Premier League Football thanks to Ted Lasso. Who’s your team?

14:40 - How can people find more about you? 

Web:  https://abbiemccarthy.co.uk

Socials: @AbbieAbbieMac everywhere:  Twitter  INSTA  TikTok  FB

This was great- thank you Abbie!!

Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Faster Than Normal is for YOU! We want to know what you’d like to hear! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We’d love to learn about, and from them. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven’t already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse! 

16:00 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits.

—

TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat: [00:00:40] Peter: Yo, everyone! Welcome to Faster Than Normal, another episode. Thrilled to have you as always. We got someone fun today to talk about- Abbie McCarthy is joining us from the OK. She's an award-winning TV and radio presenter and DJ. Okay, you'll find her hosting BBC music, introducing intent on the airwaves every Saturday night, and also bringing great new music and fun interviews to your TV screen on 4 Music and Eve four extra with fresh this month. She brings the party with her DJ sets. She has played a whole host of festival. She's played Glastonbury, Latitude & Knebworth, as well as playing several arena shows and she's serious. Like, no joke. She doesn't, she doesn't fuck around. You're gonna, you're gonna like this one. She's the hosting curator of popular Gig Night. Good Karma Club. God, what else has she done? Uh, she was nominated, she was inducted into the role of honor at Music Week's, women in Music Awards 2018. She's been highlighted by the radio academy as one of the brightest young stars in radio, recently featured and their esteemed 30 under 30 lists and winning silvers for best music presenter at the Arias 2020 I. Being in PR week, magazines 30 under 30, and I'm now 50. So yeah, now I'm all pissed off. It's gonna be a shitty interview. All right. Anyway, Abby, welcome. I feel old. How are you?!

[00:02:03] Abbie: Oh, I'm good, thank you. How are you? Thank you so much for having me. 

[00:02:05] Peter: I'm thrilled to have you. So you came to us because you, you were reading Faster Than Normal, the book, and you identified with it, and you found yourself in it.

[00:02:13] Abbie: Absolutely. I really loved it. I just loved the whole concept of it. The fact that you kind of said our our brains are like Lamborghinis. They just work faster than everybody else. But if you do the right things, you can use it quite efficiently. I thought it was a really nice way to approach it. Cause I think there's some books that you read and it's about kind of, Dismissing that you have A D H D or kind of not embracing it. But I thought that the whole approach was great and yeah, I took so much from it. And because I've only recently been diagnosed, it was such a useful book to lose myself in. I actually managed to read it in a couple of days and obviously everyone listened to this that has a D H D knows that's not always, that's not always easy. So I think it, uh, became my hyper focus for a couple of days. I really enjoyed it. 

[00:02:56] Peter: Very true. We don't, we don't normally finish things like that. Um, now tell us, so, so you just got diagnosed a year ago, so tell us your backstory. Tell us about what it was like growing up before you were diagnosed. What was it like as a kid? Did you, what was school like for you? Things like that.

[00:03:10] Abbie: I think I'm one of those classic people where, I was, I was, I was okay at school. I got like fairly good grades and I was always being told off for talking too much, which obviously makes a lot of sense now and I think that would happen more and more in the classes of things that I wasn't particularly interested in. Uh, you know, you mentioned at the start, I do lots of different things within music and, and some within sport as well. So I'm, I'm a creative person, so some of the more academic subjects I didn't particularly like, but I. Was Okay and, and got good grades, um, which maybe was why it wasn't picked up, I guess, when I was a teenager. Uh, but I, it's, I have this thing where I guess I. I just always felt like I was different, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why. And you know, even as I've got older and I've got to do some great things in my professional life, like being on the radio to me is my dream job. I still can't believe I get to do that. I get to go on the airwaves, pick amazing music, and connect with people and share it with them, but that's awesome. You know, it's, it's. It's, you know, you might look at me and be like, oh, she's getting to do her dream job. But then it's like, it's more like all the things I struggle with at home, I guess. It's like, you know, keeping on top of errands and, and things like that and organizing other aspects of, of my life. And I think that's the thing with A D H D, isn't it? Someone on the surface might look a certain way, but you never know what's. Going on in, in somebody's head. Do you, you know, my brain is racing constantly. Yeah. Um, but you know, I've, I've managed to, to hold down a job and I guess I'm lucky because it's , it's, it is in things that I'm interested in, so that makes it easier too. 

[00:04:50] Peter: Well, that's, I mean, that's really the key. You know, we, we all have to realize, you know, there are people who, who don't have faster than normal brains who can just sort of wake up, go to their job every day, do it for 40 years, retire, get their little gold watch, you know, and, and whether they love the job or not, is irrelevant to them. I. It's a means to an end. It's a way to make money. If we don't love what we're doing, we're not doing it well. 

[00:05:10] Abbie: Yeah. Or you just don't wanna do it full stop. Exactly. So I feel so blessed to be doing something that I absolutely love and I. I'm so excited to go into work every day and the, you know, what I do is really varied as well, which I think works with our brains too. Like, I'm not gonna get bored. Each week can be very, very different. Sometimes I'm in the studio doing a radio show, then it's something like festival season where I'm kind of here, there and everywhere DJing. It might be going to interview somebody, you know, on the other side of the country. It might be going to a gig somewhere else. So it, it's, yeah, it's, it keeps it interesting. It's, it keeps it lively. 

[00:05:43] Peter: Tell me about, um, so let's talk about the stuff you're not that great at. Let's talk about like, you know, what is it like to, you know, running the errands, things like that. What kind of, um, sort of rituals have you put into play for yourself to be able to get through the, the, the, the boring stuff?

[00:05:57] Abbie: I actually got this piece of advice from somebody on social media when I first posted that I'd got a diagnosis and they were saying the things that you don't enjoy, things like housework and errands and food shopping. It's almost like, think of it in a different way, sort of set yourself, um, a bit of a competition or like, so you're trying to do it in the quickest amount of time or, you know, you set yourself a reward once you've finished it, things like that. So then actually that those, those activities aren't just draining. You are in some way getting a little bit of dopamine and I think it's just like picking the right time in the day to do some of this stuff as well. I think now I try and get up, exercise is a big one for me and I know it's for, for you as well from, from reading your book, getting up, going to the gym, even if I don't feel like it, which I don't a lot of the time, I always feel so much better afterwards than kind of getting all of those errands and boring things out of the way and then I can just enjoy the rest of my day and I kind of don't feel the guilt that I haven't done all the, all the adult things I guess that I think I should have. 

[00:07:02] Peter: Well, it's interesting because that there is a, there are some studies that say that getting the boring stuff and stuff that you don't love getting it done is actually a dopamine release. Um, once they're all, not from doing them per se, but from that feeling you get of, oh, I don't have to do them anymore because I did them. 

[00:07:17] Abbie: Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You actually completed something that you set out to do, so that's gonna give you a buzz, isn't it? 

[00:07:22] Peter: Talk about, uh, some times where it's not that easy. Have things happened, whether you are in, uh, you know, whether you're at work or whatever? How do you deal with the things that, you know, you're, you're going a million miles an hour, right? When you're, when you're DJing or when you're working whatever, you're going a million miles an hour. What happens when you have to adjust course, uh, suddenly when you suddenly, you know, find yourself going off track or something like that. How do you keep yourself going, especially in a high energy job like that, because there's really only so much dopamine mean you can give. Uh, to get through over the course of a day, right. At some point, you know, I know that, that if I time it right, I give a keynote, I get done with the keynote, I get into the airport, get back onto the plane, and that's when I pass out. Right. So, how are you sometimes you're doing, I, I, especially as a DJ you're doing late, late nights, right? You know, into, into the wee hours in the morning. How are you holding that up? How are you keeping yourself aligned? 

[00:08:14] Abbie: I think when I am DJing or I'm, yeah, playing a big event, I get so in the zone. I get so pumped for it. So I kind of have enough energy to, to get through it. I think the thing that I struggle with the most is when I've had, you know, a really great run of work, so something like festival season or because I work in football, you know, the, the Premier League season that we have over here. I've just been getting to work on loads of games with that. When that stops and there's just naturally a tiny little lull in work, and I say a lull, it's like four days or something, and. Get really down cuz I'm like, I dunno what to do with all of this energy that I've got. I almost dunno how to, to harness it. And then I have a real low and I'm kind of waiting for the buzz and the high again of, of doing all the things that I love. And I think that's been a learning experience for me is when I have these days off. Which I really crave when I'm in the thick of it. You know, when you are like working back to back and you're traveling everywhere, you can't wait for a day where you are. You can just not think about work and relax. But when it gets to those days, I find it really hard to actually lean into them. So that's something I need to work on to be honest. Um, but the other thing that I think is a bit of a struggle in the job that I do, and maybe you'll relate to this or other people will relate to this. Do more of a kind of public facing job is, you know, the sensitivity we can have to rejection and criticism. It's very much part of my job, you know, it'll be like, I'll be presenting something or I'll send off a show reel sometimes I'm super lucky and I get the job. Sometimes I don't. That's just part of the business, but I might then be really upset about that for a little while, and I think sometimes. The emotional deregulation thing. I can f I can feel a little bit. So that can be hard. I guess if you are, you're in the fields and you're not feeling so great and then you've gotta, you know, go on air and give people a good show, give people a good time. But sometimes I imagine that's a savior because you kind of have to put on this. I thought, great, let's have a good time. And you're doing it for other people. You're doing it for that feeling. It'll give somebody else. And the connection that you have with you and your listeners is really special. So you kind of wanna keep that. So sometimes in a way it can get you out of your funk, which I think is good. 

[00:10:30] Peter: That's actually a really interesting point because I imagine that, you know, especially as a creative right, you do these amazing DJ sets, you, you're, you know, on the radio, whatever, and then yeah. You know, millions of people might love it, but there's one person who posted comments somewhere that's negative and that's all we think about, right? The same thing happens to me in keynotes. Mm-hmm. , but it's a real, you, you, you gave us a really interesting point, the concept of going on stage and having to put on that smile regardless of whether you're feeling it or not. You know, you don't have a choice, right? Mm-hmm. . So I would think that, yeah, in a lot of ways that's probably very, very helpful because you know that which you believe you eventually achieve, so, right? So, so you, you put that happy face on, you give that speech or you, you do that set at the end of it, you're gonna have that dopamine regardless. So it's a nice sort of, a nice sort of, uh, I guess, cheat sheet to get out of it. 

[00:11:20] Abbie: Yeah, it actually is. Yeah, cuz it kind of gets you into that mental space, even if you really weren't feeling it beforehand. It might be, you know, you've got some really bad news an hour before I'm gonna go on the radio, but then as soon as I'm on the radio, I'm there to. I'm there to give it everything and to hopefully, um, bring people great music but also, you know, some good stories and, and keep them company as well. So it can be very useful cuz it can definitely switch you into a more positive place. And like you say, access that dopamine that we are always searching for.

[00:11:51] Peter: Tell us about, um, how, first of all, how old are you, if you don't mind telling us. 

[00:11:54] Abbie: I'm, uh, I'm 32, so I got diagnosed when I was say 31. 

[00:11:58] Peter: You're 32 and you're female, and you're in an industry that's predominantly male focused and male driven. Right? So you are coming in as sort of a, I guess, uh, what are you, A millennial, I guess. Are you a millennial or Gen Y? What are you? 

[00:12:10] Abbie: Yeah, I'll be, I'm a millennial. I wish I was a Gen Z yeah. 

[00:12:12] Peter: You're in the cusp of a millennial, right? You're coming as cusp millennial. Tell us about some of the fights you've dealt with and some of the battles you've fought coming in as a millennial, a neurotypical, a neuro atypical millennial, um, who's a female in this male dominated industry. Right. You've, I'm, I'm sure you've, you've had to step up several times, both in, in football as well as DJ ing, 

[00:12:32] Abbie: Yeah, I feel like I feel it the most as a DJ actually to be honest, where you'll turn up to DJ at a festival and a club and predominantly a lot of people working in that industry, it is changing, which is great to see. But a lot of people working in that industry, uh, are male. And sometimes you can get a few patronizing kind of sound engineers who are like, oh, do you know how to use the equipment? Do you need any help with that? And you're like, yeah, that's why I'm here. I'm here to, I'm here to dj. I'm here to do the thing that you booked me for. Or the, or, you know, the, the place book before. So I feel like you can experience a bit of that and I think a lot of stuff like where, you know, you are doing as good a job as your male counterparts, but you're probably not getting paid the same. But I think so much is changing. There's a real positive shift in like entertainment, in music, in sport. To, to even things out. But I do, um, some stuff for, uh, for B B C sport and uh, a sport. Chelsea, sorry if you don't, or sorry if people listening don't. So I do some of their matchday live programming as well, and I, I sometimes feel most vulnerable being like a woman in sport. Cause I think often people are just looking to just dismiss what you say because that industry is still so, so male dominated. That one's probably got the most catching up to do. Um, so dealing with that sometimes, but then it's, I think sometimes you just have to, although we find it hard, it's like shut out the outside noise and, and thoughts and just have real confidence and belief in what you are doing and what you are saying. That's the only thing you can do. 

[00:14:10] Peter: Shut out the outside thoughts. I love that. So I've actually been a, I've been a Premier League fan for, for years, and I can tell you over the past few years here in America, I'd say millions more people have suddenly learned about non-American football thanks to Ted Lasso. So I think that, um, people are definitely learning a bit more , um, about it. What is your, who's your, who's your team? 

[00:14:31] Abbie: Uh, Chelsea. Chelsea Football Club. Yeah, I've been a fan since I was like six or seven. So the good times and the bad times, and the Inbetweens . 

[00:14:40] Peter: Very cool. I love this, Abbie! This has been so much fun. How can people find you? 

[00:14:44] Abbie: Uh, people can find me on socials, uh, a Abbie Abbie Mac. That's my handle on everything. So A B B I E. Um, yeah, come and say hello! You know what? Us people with A D H D are like we, we love to connect. So yeah, please do, uh, get involved. Gimme a follow and uh, shout me in the dms and thank you so much again, Peter. It's been so fun. 

[00:15:04] Peter: Oh, I'm so glad to have you! Guys listen to her stuff. She really is amazing, Abbie it's pretty incredible. Abbie McCarthy, thank you so much for taking the time. 

Guys. By the time this comes out, you will probably. Have already heard the news that, uh, Faster Than Normal is being turned into a kid's book. It is. I can give you a title now. It's called The Boy With the Faster Brain, and it is my first attempt at writing a children's book and I am so excited. So I will have links, uh, on where to purchase and how to purchase and how to get fun stuff like that and how to have me come in and, and talk to your schools and your kids and, and whatever soon enough. So stick to that. As always, if you know anyone that we should be interviewing, shoot us a note. Just people as cool as Abbie and all and above only. Those are the only ones we want. No, I'm kidding. Anyone, anyone you think has a great story, we would love to highlight them on the podcast. My name is Peter Shankman. I'm at Peter Shankman on all the socials. We're at Faster normal as well, and we will see you next week. Thank you for listening and keep remembering you are gifted, not broken. We'll see you soon! —

Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by byrom.squarespace.com/musix">Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week!