If you experience relationship anxiety, you might be familiar with the urge to try to change your partner so that you can feel better about your decision to be with them, and stop doubting the relationship so much! You’re not alone. It can be so hard to change this pattern, but I believe it can be done with some determination, patience, and humility. This episode can help you trust your partner (and your decisions) more, restore intimacy and closeness, and start moving you in the direction of the relationship you desire.

SUPER exciting: join me on Patreon! We will meet monthly for a hangout and Q/A where I (and our ALC family) can support and hold you through the experience of navigating love through uncertainty. First 50 patrons get permanent $5/month for all benefits of our top tier. Become a patron here: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Email me at natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com to inquire about my retreats in Austria with my meditation teacher, Stefi Preiss, this summer.

5:42- Keeping your eyes on your paper and cleaning up your side of the street

6:30 -Feeling like you picked the wrong partner

10:00 - The three things I thought I could do to change my partner

16:30 - My desire for my partner to change

19:05 - Moving into the future and making empowering changes for yourself

20:25 - Your partner will not change if you try to change them

21:43 - Developing self-trust by overcoming adversity

23:00 - Imagine your inner controller who wants to control everything

24:00 - What are you afraid would happen if you stopped trying to control your partner?

26:00 - Some of the different methods of control that we use to control our partners

36:19 - The power of letting your partner make clean up their own messes

43:04 - “I will criticize my partner when I have stopped doing XYZ”

45:50 - The difference between wanting to delight you and not disappointing you

50:35 - Starting the Anxious Love Coach Patreon Fam

57:30 - Email me for more info on my Austria retreats in June and September

In this episode, I talk about the trap of “more is better” embedded in the honeymoon/vacation expectation and how that played out in our own honeymoon. It is my hope you can avoid this trap on your vacations!

If you want to attend my retreats in June or September, email me “RETREAT” at natalie@anxiouslovecoach.com

Pick my brain on Wisio here: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Apply to work 1:1 with me here: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

• 4:33 - Looking for the extraordinary during vacations/honeymoons

• 8:28 - The more we sit in our wanting, the more there wanting we develop

• 9:30 - A quote on the desire for a more “conscious partner”

• 12:00 - The trap of having

• 15:10 - My honeymoon experience

• 20:00 - The importance of having separate lives in your partnership

• 25:40 - Seeking extraordinary experiences and how it affects your nervous system

• 27:40 - The note that I wrote to myself (and also all of you) during my honeymoon

• 32:20 - My Austria retreats on June 12-18 and September 4-10

• 35:07 - Ask me a question on Wisio

• 39:00 - Work with me one on one

This a fun episode for you – full of metaphors and nuanced relationship advice. Enjoy!

SALE on Programs through 2/22 - 3/25: 30% off with code HONEY30

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

This episode is for those of you new to the podcast but haven’t heard my story, as well as for those of you who DO know my story, but might not know the new context around it since I’ve started Anxious Love Coach. I’ve learned a lot since running this business – and some of my perspectives have shifted over the last year that impact the messaging you may have heard from me earlier on.

SALE on Programs through 2/22 - 3/25: 30% off with code HONEY30

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

In this episode, Luci Lampe, a sex and relationship coach (who I’ve worked with personally) hops on the ALC podcast to share the 5 stages of relationship evolution. As you listen, get curious in which stage you and your partner might be in. Relationship anxiety falls into one of these categories, but overcoming relationship anxiety isn’t the end of the journey! It’s just the beginning. I hope this episode will give you insights into the long haul of the relationship journey.

You can enroll in Luci’s programs through my affiliate link here:

wild-awakening.teachable.com/?affcode=1051804_8anrysej">https://the-wild-awakening.teachable.com/?affcode=1051804_8anrysej

Our obsession with authenticity is putting the responsibility of discerning “reality” vs. “not-reality” on creators – when this is not where our focus should be, as consumers. In this episode, I talk about how I think consumers’ obsession with authenticity has gone too far – and if we could change the conversation around authenticity, we would have less FOMO and “shoulds” and be a heck of a lot happier.

BOTH FEET IN Course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for Quit Comparing Your Relationship in 7 days: A Telegram Challenge: February 8-14, 2023

https://anxiouslovecoachschool.teachable.com/p/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

One of many reasons we may feel anxious in relationship: we’re actually feeling resentful and not communicating our needs and boundaries at all, or effectively! In this episode, I break down what boundaries are as well as what they aren’t, some perspective shifts for recovering people-pleasers, and ways to communicate your boundaries in ways that will feel like sacred gifts.

BOTH FEET IN Course

https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for Quit Comparing Your Relationship in 7 days: A Telegram Challenge: February 8-14, 2023

https://anxiouslovecoachschool.teachable.com/p/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

In this episode, I talk about ‘Fear of Missing Out’ (FOMO) in partnership. In a society of (seeming) unlimited choices + constant comparison, it’s no wonder there are so many wandering eyes and anxious minds, wondering if we got the short end of the stick. I talk about a few strategies you can use to feel more confident in your decision, break the fantasy spell, and be able to more easily focus on the gift of your relationship right in front of your face.

Both Feet in Self Study Course: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Register for Quit Comparing Your Relationship in 7 days: http://anxiouslovecoachschool.teachable.com/p/quit-comparing-your-relationship-in-7-days

“Emotions” like anxiety and depression are often cover emotions for deeper emotions like grief and anger – and working through our resistance to these emotions so we can arrive at our “core” emotions can help us access our calm, compassionate self. In this episode, I bring on emotions educator Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of “It’s Not Always Depression,” to give you tangible tools for working through anxiety and depression to have a richer emotional experience.

Some extra resources:

Why Can’t I Shut Off My Mind? https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/post/2018/03/03/why-can-t-i-shut-off-my-mind

It’s Not Always Depression, Sometimes It’s Shame (NYT OpEd): https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/its-not-always-depression-sometimes-its-

It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect With Your Authentic Self (Random House & Penguin UK):

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Always-Depression-Authentic/dp/0399588140/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3UXPWILNH27FU&keywords=its+not+always+depression+by+hilary+jacobs+hendel&qid=1673190622&sprefix=%2Caps%2C151&sr=8-1

Print out the Change Triangle: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/print-the-change-triangle

Facilitate Emotions Education 101 Classes with the Emotions Education 101 Turnkey Curriculum: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/ee101-train-the-trainer-course

Although we may be entering a new year, this season is still about death and endings, and if we’re resistant to that, we may experience more anxiety than usual. In this episode, I speak to how death and endings are an important piece to the conversation when we are moving out of anxiety and into a rich inner experience.

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