You can’t just be hustling all the time, you also need to take time to rest. We’ve been glorifying the hustle culture for far too long that taking a break seems unacceptable.

In this episode, Aimee tackles a topic that we don’t normally discuss - taking a break. For the longest time, we’ve been taught that hustling is the only way to achieve our dreams. We didn’t realize that too much hustle leads to burnout and not becoming the best version of ourselves.

There should be no shame in taking a break, it’s also a form of self-care. You spark more creative juices if you realize that your true power lies in having a rest. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF REST

The hustle culture has been around for years but now we see a positive shift. People are more accepting of the thought that rest is needed if we want to function better.

As Aimee mentioned, we’re slowly learning that “hustling isn’t always the answer.” This comes from a personal experience as Aimee also learned the value of having rest. 

Rest helps bring your energy level back up. If you’re consistently working without taking a break, it can be detrimental to your health. You might experience fatigue and burnout and this leads to not feeling motivated to go to work or do something you’ve always been passionate about.

You need to understand that your energy depletes if you’re too obsessed with work, and you need to restore this energy. Taking breaks helps you become more productive and stronger in the long run.

TWEET

"Hustling isn't always the answer." #chasingdream

QUOTE

"Rest helps bring your energy level back to come back stronger."

WHAT WE NEED TO TEACH THE NEXT GENERATION ABOUT REST

We’ve been taught working long hours indicates the highest quality of work but we come to realize that this is not effective. It blocks productivity and drains creativity. 

We need to teach the next generation that rest is a significant part of work, regardless of the industry you’re in. Pulling all-nighters is not going to help all the time. It only teaches you to ineffectively manage your time. 

The power is in the rest. If you’re someone who takes pride in not having a vacation, you better evaluate what you’re doing in life. Take a step back and figure out why you’re not having a well-deserved break. 

Even schools are now acknowledging the importance of taking breaks for the mental health of students. We talked about this in Episode 261. 

It’s the same thing for adults at work. They are at risk of experiencing burnout if they don’t allow themselves to take a break.

TWEET

"The power is in the rest." #chasingdreams

"You might do yourself more harm than good if you don't take a break." #chasingdreams 

QUOTE

"Teach the next generation not to work in long batches of time."

"It's so important that we find some way to take rest." 

"You can burn out at work if you don't allow breaks to be taken.

CREATIVE BURNOUT - WHAT IS IT AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT AN INDIVIDUAL

Creative burnout is something that artists experience. We talk about taking a break but when you do take a rest, you also feel guilty for doing so. Creatives and even professionals may be in a constant struggle whether to take a break or not.

If you feel confused, understand that taking a break is necessary. You may not realize that you’re already in the burnout stage and keep on pushing through but one day you just don’t want to do your work anymore.

You may think that you’re doing your best but in reality, you just continue with work and do not give 100% percent to it. In Aimee’s case as a podcaster, she’s been taught that consistency is key.

They have to consistently publish new episodes since this signals podcasting success. But there’s proof that creatives who took a break may lose listeners but they can also gain more. 

Other shows take hiatus or a planned break, and they come back stronger. We need to get rid of following a specific formula and start being in tune with what our bodies and minds need. 

Remember, it’s okay to take a step back and refuel your soul, so you can come back with better ideas and habits. 

QUOTE

"You need to take that step back, you need to take a break."

"Creative burnout affects a lot of people but we just don't realize it." 

Aimee’s Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take –

Take a break. You’ll get a better understanding of what you want in life when you don’t experience burnout. There is more to life than hustling, keep chasing your dreams but learn the importance of rest.

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [00:20] The importance of rest
• [02:23] What we need to teach the next generation about rest
• [05:42] Creative Burnout - What is it and how does it affect an individual
• [10:00] The summer hiatus of Chasing Dreams

Resources Mentioned

• Creative Burnout Article by Kerry-Ann Reid-Brown
• Chasing Dreams Podcast Ep. 115: Kerry-Ann Reid Brown – Using Your Own Flair to Help Others Chase Their Dreams
• Chasing Dreams Podcast Ep 261: Aimee J – It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. "Rest helps bring your energy level back to come back stronger."
2. "Teach the next generation not to work in long batches of time."
3. "It's so important that we find some way to take rest."
4. "You can burn out at work if you don't allow breaks to be taken."
5. "Creative burnout affects a lot of people but we just don't realize it."
6. "There is no shame in taking care of yourself; we're just not used to it."
7. "You are loved, important, needed and most importantly, you are enough, just the way you are as you are, no ifs or buts about it."

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• "Hustling isn't always the answer." #chasingdreams 
• "Pulling all-nighters is not going to help you." #chasingdreams
• "The power is in the rest." #chasingdreams
• "If you're someone who prides himself on never having a vacation, I'm going to need you to take a moment and think on that." #chasingdreams
• "You might do yourself more harm than good if you don't take a break." #chasingdreams
• "People need the breaks, people are valuable." #chasingdreams

https://youtu.be/P5kAy2hKR9M

We’re halfway through the year, it seems that days went by so fast. Some of us feel like not having enough time to process everything we’re going through. Some days we feel okay, others not so much. But you have to remember, it’s okay to not be okay. 

In this episode, we have another inspiring discussion about it’s okay to not be okay. Aimee shares that for the past couple of months, she’s not feeling good. A lot of things happened, she lost some loved ones and this puts her in a space where she felt not okay.

During these days, Aimee didn’t feel like herself. She didn’t feel motivated, excited, or happy to do the things that normally give her joy. These may be the result of creative burnout and unfortunate life events.

Aimee shares her story and journey towards acceptance that there will be days that we don’t feel okay, and we’re allowed to experience and learn from this.

WE DON’T TALK ABOUT NOT BEING OKAY

Have you noticed that we don’t talk about not being okay? It seems like a prohibited topic in our society. According to an article published by Psychology Today, there are various reasons why people are not encouraged to talk about what they need to express.

No one wants to talk about the hardships in life. We fear that this may only cause stress to the listener and additional anxiety to ourselves. But we have to accept that some days are not roses and butterflies.

We also have days when it’s enough to survive and make it until the end of the day. The good thing is that millennials and Generation Xs are setting a good example that it’s okay to talk about our bad days.

This act inspires the younger generation to acknowledge and accept not feeling okay. They see this as the norm and might continue doing it for future generations. 

TWEET

"Some days, it's not roses. Some days it's just molasses." #chasingdreams

IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY

It’s normal to not feel okay, to realize that not everything goes according to our plans. We all go through this phase and some may experience not being okay for the most part of the year.

Some people may think that they are not allowed to not feel okay because other humans depend on them. The classic example of this is being a parent. Parents think that it’s against the law to feel worried, out of place, confused, and so much more. because their kids look up to them.

This brings up too much pressure to feel okay despite having a raging fire inside that signals they don’t feel good. When parents do this, they build a notion that it’s undesirable to not have everything handled. And children may carry this belief until adulthood. They may think that not being okay means there is something wrong with me. 

What we stand for today impacts the future. Our goal is to bring more awareness to mental suffering so that the kids of tomorrow feel encouraged and supported with their struggles. 

The suicide rates for young people (teens and young adults) are the highest according to the article from UCLA Health. This may involve various factors, but it’s also related to not feeling okay and not having the courage or the willingness to talk about it. 

We need to take the initiative to show people that it’s completely fine to not feel good all the time. This way we normalize the conversation with our kids, friends, and family about mental health. 

This also causes a ripple effect so when a certain member of our family is having mental health struggles, he/she knows that you can help. 

TWEET

"It's okay to not be okay." #chasing dreams

QUOTE

"We all go through a period where we're not okay.

"Even the protectors need to be taken care of."

THE NEED FOR MENTAL HEALTH DAYS

Wouldn’t it be better if we have additional days when we can just take care of ourselves? This should be on top of our vacation leaves and sick days, not in replacement.  

For the longest time, our sick leaves are only used for being physically sick. Our mental health is not considered as important as our physical health. 

In a post by Verywell mind, they’ve outlined the states in the US where students are allowed to miss class for the benefit of their mental health. 

This policy will also be beneficial for workers across various industries. There are days when going to work brings too much stress that we just need a day off.

WHAT CAN YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE NOT OKAY

Do you want to know what you can do when you’re not feeling okay? The first step is to acknowledge it. Say out loud, “It’s okay to not be okay!” 

Upon doing this, you move to the next step which is understanding that this too shall pass. This feeling won’t last forever. Although some feelings may last a little bit longer than others, you need to remind yourself that you will get through this eventually. It may not be easy, but you can do it. 

The third step is you have to help yourself move out of that space. Think about the triggers that make you feel not okay and what can you do about it? Sometimes, we may not realize that we have toxic people in our lives that trigger negative emotions. 

These can be people who are extremely close to us that we’re scared of breaking ties. You might need a little inspirational quote in your life so here goes, “IT’S OKAY TO LET GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT ARE HURTING YOU.”

These toxic people often impact you and the people around you. We’ve always been taught to honor our family no matter how hostile and discouraging they are. But in this day and age, we should not be tolerating people who bring destructive thoughts and emotions even if they are family members.

Also, you have to realize that you can get help. An amazing personal investment is taking the time to see a therapist that can help with what you’re going through. If you don’t know where to start, Aimee’s advice is to start with your doctor and tell him/her that you need help with your mental health.

You can also talk to your insurance company, and surely they can refer you to a therapist. Another way is to talk to members of the family (those who are not toxic) who’ve been through the same scenario and ask how they overcome it. 

Number four is you have to take action. Work on getting better and out of the space of not being okay. Take the time that you need to heal. Figure out what works for you and focus on that. 

TWEET

"You can do hard things, and you can get through this." #chasingdreams

"You can let go of toxic people especially if it's hurting you." #chasingdreams

QUOTE

"That feeling of not being okay won't last forever."

"It may not be easy, but you can do it."

"You have to look into yourself, take some time and figure out what is it that's bothering you."

Aimee’s Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take –

Keep in mind that you have to live your life. Identify what it is for you. It’s okay not to be okay, but you have to figure out how you can help yourself to live your best life. 

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [00:35] Why things have not been great for Aimee lately
• [01:20] We don’t talk about not being okay
• [02:13] It’s okay not to be okay
• [06:50] The need for mental health days
• [07:59] What can you do when you’re not okay

Resources Mentioned

• Chasing Dreams Podcast Ep 257: Aimee J – You Can Do Hard Things

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. "We all go through a period where we're not okay.”
2. "Even the protectors need to be taken care of."
3. "That feeling of not being okay won't last forever."
4. "It may not be easy, but you can do it." 
5. "It's okay to let go of toxic people."
6. "You have to look into yourself, take some time and figure out what is it that's bothering you."
7. "If you don't know where to start, start with your doctor and say you need help with your mental health."
8. "You are awesome, loved, and needed. Most importantly, you are enough just the way you are, no ifs or buts about it."
9. Sometimes it's important to remember that everything is made up.

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• "Some days, it's not roses. Some days it's just molasses." #chasingdreams
• "It's okay to not be okay." #chasing dreams
• "You are the hero and the star of your life story, but you too need to be cared for." #chasingdreams
• "You can do hard things, and you can get through this." #chasingdreams
• "You can let go of toxic people especially if it's hurting you." #chasingdreams
• "You can do anything you set your mind to." #chasingdreams 

https://youtu.be/fLR8aI9qwb8

For some, getting into the entertainment industry is like having that impossible dream that’s never going to happen. And the perpetual question everybody’s asking - how to make it in Hollywood?

In this episode, Tim Tortora tells how he conquered Hollywood and made a living out of it. He shares some of the biggest lessons that only the industry can impart and why building a connection is the number one factor for success in this arena.

WHAT DID YOUNG TIM WANT TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP?

With both parents having their own businesses, it’s somewhat expected for Tim to follow their path. But it was during a drive around studios that young Tim realized what he wanted to do in life. 

Although the subtle implication was he was going to take over the family’s business as he grows older, Tim vividly remembers telling his dad, “I don’t want to do what you do, I want to work in Hollywood.”

As an undergraduate, he had a job in a recording studio as a tape operator. He eventually had a degree in advertising, and he just never stopped pursuing his passion. Tim was always adamant about creating his own path and always wanted to do the things he was interested in.

He thought that being a musician was for him and as he got close to realizing this dream, Tim saw that there were a lot of guys better than him. In his words, “they were more passionate than me, they played with soul.” He added, “I could play well, but I couldn’t play with soul flawlessly.”

Tim added that the guys who were good at playing music practiced for 6 hours a day. This was just not possible for him as he said, “there are a million other things I’d rather do in 6 hours than sit there and practice drums.”

He had the presence of mind to realize that he had a lot of interests, and he needed to pursue them. 

TWEETS

"I'm not interested in your path, I want to go find my own." #chasingdreams

"I had the presence of mind at a young age to realize that I had a lot of interests and I needed to pursue them." #chasingdreams

QUOTES

"I wanted to pursue what I thought was interesting and what I dreamed of doing which was being a musician." 

"I just had the presence of mind knowing that I'm not going to be happy following my dad's or my mom's path.”

"I could play well, but I couldn't play with soul flawlessly.

THE VALUE OF HAVING PRESENCE OF MIND

Since he spent most of his college career working in a recording studio, Tim saw firsthand band members who were broke, driving cars in bad conditions thus he was no stranger to the struggle.

He thought to himself, “I don’t want to be that guy, I don’t want to be struggling for art.”

His interesting journey of applying for work started when he sent out a cover letter with two typographical errors on it. Although he was not accepted because of this mistake, he corrected them and sent out another cover letter.

Tim got a job in Columbia Pictures and worked for an ad agency, this is how his 35-year career (and counting) in movies started. 

Upon dipping his toes in Hollywood waters, Tim knew that having the same presence of mind will help him figure out his next steps. He realized that staying in an advertising job may let him earn a lot of money, but it’s definitely going to be miserable. He coined this situation as being in a “golden handcuff.”

He adds, “it’s a lot of money, it’s great, but it’s not something that’s going to feed my soul.” Tim wanted to get closer to the actual creation of content. He quit his job and became a personal assistant for a television show. 

Tim climbed up the ranks and eventually achieved his goal of being a production executive. He did this by the time he was 30 years old. 

By having the presence of mind and following what he thought was best for him, Tim is living his best life with no regrets. He did the work as fast as he could at the highest level that he could and excelled in tasks that were given to him.

TWEETS

"Don't worry about the money you're making, who you're working with, or the title you're going to have, it's all irrelevant." #chasingdreams

QUOTES

"You have to figure out what you're good at, lay into that, do nothing but that and do it at the highest level you possibly can.

TIM’S ADVICE FOR PEOPLE STARTING OUT THEIR HOLLYWOOD CAREER

There are lots of people who want to make their Hollywood dream come true, and it’s not easy to make this into reality. Tim’s general advice for young people is to figure out what they’re good at and do it at the highest level. 

He mentions, “you have to worry about who you’re working for, are they high quality, and if they have access to the higher echelon.” Because if these people can’t be the connections you’re going to need to level up then it may not be the best place for you to be in.

For people who want to make it in Hollywood, Tim advises, “you have to figure out how to make a connection with someone who’s actually working in the business for one of the studios or the networks.” 

While for those who don’t have this connection, cold outreach is the best option. It’s important to learn how the industry functions with the person you want to connect with. You can do this through informational interviews, and ask the person how he got the job. 

Tim emphasizes, “get connected, this is a referral business.” No one is just going to give you an opportunity unless you’re referred by someone who’s actively working in the industry.

TWEETS

"You have to do cold outreach, and you have to get educated about how the industry functions with that person's place in it." #chasingdreams

"You shut up, listen, and you take notes." #chasingdreams 

QUOTES

"You have to figure out how to make a connection with someone who's actually working in the business."

"Get connected, this is a referral business."

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT WORKING IN HOLLYWOOD

According to Tim, there are two most common misconceptions about working in Hollywood:

• It’s hard to be connected
• You have to be a creative

Careers in Hollywood are not just comprised of actors, producers, writers, and directors. In fact, the majority of Hollywood jobs are seen in behind-the-scenes productions such as wardrobe, props, film crew, etc. 

Also, you don’t necessarily have to be creative to work in Hollywood. As Tim stated, there are hundreds of different and amazing jobs that you can take. These are labeled below the lines and behind-the-scenes jobs that you can start with and work your way up. 

These jobs are not easy, in fact, they demand so much of your time and effort. But Tim highly recommends this for a 20-something who wants a break in Hollywood. 

Furthermore, Tim adds, “you don’t have to be connected, but you have to be gregarious.” There should be a fuelling curiosity inside you to meet people and understand their impact on the industry.

When asked if there’s something that people outside the industry will be surprised to know, Tim answered “it is a business.” And it functions like the rest of the business we see and experience. 

People from the outside will always have their own set of perceptions but those from the inside experience their own set of reality. Just like any other business, Hollywood is supported by a lot of people who want it to be continuously successful.

Tim says, “it’s a fulfilling and rewarding career that pays really well.” 

TWEETS

"You don't have to be connected, but you have to be gregarious."#chasingdreams 

"No matter how good your work is, you have to sell them what they're buying." #chasingdreams

QUOTES

"It takes a village to make a movie." 

"There's a perception from the outside and there's a reality on the inside."

Guest Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take – 

Build a connection. Hollywood is a referral business that will require you to form connections with people who are actively working in the business. They’ll serve as the key to various opportunities that can help leverage your career.

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [01:17] What did young Tim want to be when he grew up?
• [05:20] Figuring out the next step on his journey
• [08:48] The value of having the presence of mind 
• [16:16] Tim's advice for people starting out their Hollywood career
• [19:08] Transition to becoming a CFO
• [24:02] Common misconceptions about working in Hollywood
• [30:51] Most surprising thing about Hollywood
• [37:53] Does it pay to go to film school?
• [39:25] What's next for Tim?

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Tim’s website
• Tim’s Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter
• Grab a copy of Tim’s books: How To Make It In Hollywood and Hollywood Dream Jobs

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. You miss one-hundred percent of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky
2. "I just had the presence of mind knowing that I'm not going to be happy following my dad's or my mom's path."
3. "I wanted to pursue what I thought was interesting and what I dreamed of doing which was being a musician."
4. "I could play well, but I couldn't play with soul flawlessly."
5. "You have to figure out what you're good at, lay into that, do nothing but that and do it at the highest level you possibly can." 
6. "You have to figure out how to make a connection with someone who's actually working in the business."
7. "Get connected, this is a referral business."
8. "The day you stop networking, the day your career begins to atrophy." 
9. "It takes a village to make a movie."
10. "There's a perception from the outside and there's a reality on the inside."
11. "Go with your gut."
12. "Your overnight career explosion usually takes 10 years."
13. "Hollywood is a tough business, but it's fun."

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• "I'm not interested in your path, I want to go find my own." #chasingdreams
• "I had the presence of mind at a young age to realize that I had a lot of interests and I needed to pursue them." #chasingdreams
• "I don't want to be struggling for art."#chasingdreams
• "Don't worry about the money you're making, who you're working with, or the title you're going to have, it's all irrelevant." #chasingdreams
• "You have to do cold outreach, and you have to get educated about how the industry functions with that person's place in it." #chasingdreams
• "You shut up, listen, and you take notes." #chasingdreams
• "You don't have to be connected, but you have to be gregarious."#chasingdreams 
• "No matter how good your work is, you have to sell them what they're buying." #chasingdreams
• "You just gotta do it." #chasingdreams 

GUEST’S BIO

With us today is Tim Tortora, an ex-movie-producer and outsource CFO for producers in Hollywood. After 30 years in the film and television industry, working with influential companies such as Harpo Films, Sony Pictures, Disney, TriStar Pictures and Columbia Pictures. Tim uses his expertise to help film and TV writers, directors, actors, producers & crew, learn how to get connected to the real producers in Hollywood so they can build their careers and network.

https://youtu.be/pEVkFiY6ZxM

The time used to invest in yourself reflects on the quality of relationships you engage in. 

In this episode, Carolyn Yates shares her expertise and advice for people struggling with their mental health. Our mental health condition is often affected by a lot of factors; the people around us, social media, and personal pressures but the best way to deal with this is to prioritize self-care.

WHAT DID YOUNG CAROLYN WANT TO BE WHEN SHE GREW UP?

Carolyn wasn’t sure what she wanted to be when she grew up. But as a young kid, she’s always been fascinated with how people think and behave. She explored a few different routes, but eventually, she became a psychology major in college. 

Through this, her interest in the human personality further developed. Then she finished her grad school and became a therapist.

Although her journey started out with not being sure about what to be when she becomes older, there was a specific interest she kept in her heart that lead her to who she is today.

Carolyn’s advice for people who are afraid of making a pivot in their lives, “be open-minded to different ideas.” When she graduated in 2008, she entered the workforce but unfortunately, the economy collapsed.

Our situations may seem like adversity initially, but they can become a blessing in the end. Because of the economic crisis, she decided to go back to school and explored new ways of life.

TWEETS

“Be open-minded to different ideas.” #chasingdreams

QUOTES

"Things that feel like adversity in your path may ultimately be blessings in the long term."

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Most of us are raised to believe that we always have to put the needs of others first. This notion is deeply embedded in our culture that we think that by putting ourselves first, we are committing a crime. 

This thinking made some of us resentful toward life. There’s lingering guilt of not being able to do what we’ve always wanted to because we put others first. When Carolyn was asked if it’s possible for us to take care of ourselves first, she answered, “it’s about giving yourself the permission to take care of yourself.” 

She adds, “to have a bit of time for yourself means you can show up in better ways.” There may be a lot of guilt involved in doing this, but this is actually not a bad thing. 

Some people may label this as being selfish but Carolyn reframes this. She makes people understand that spending time on yourself is always a worthy investment. 

When you prioritize yourself, you also get to evaluate how you are towards others and how you treat yourself. It allows you to be more patient and present. 

TWEETS

"Take time for yourself." #chasingdreams 

QUOTES

“To have a little bit of time for yourself means you can show up in better ways.”

WAYS TO PERFORM SELF-CARE

Your self-care methods don’t have to be grand and expensive. When people think of self-care, they equate it with going on splendid vacations, spas, or shopping. These can be forms of self-care, but they can also be meditating, going for a walk, enjoying nature, journaling, exercising, or nourishing your body with a healthy meal.

Self-care can be the simple things you do that give you joy, help you calm down, and re-center. It doesn’t have to break the bank. It’s not always a one-size-fits-all, so you have to explore what self-care methods work for you.

As you engage in self-care, you see the world from a different perspective. You become more in tune with your thoughts, and emotions and begin to understand what it is that you need. You learn that you can be capable of achieving things if you nurture yourself first.

TWEETS

"Take some time to go outside, there's something about it that's calming and soothing." #chasingdreams

QUOTES

“Self-care is a way to manage stress.”

WHY YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

The last two years of the pandemic greatly affected our mental health. People had to do different things to adjust and now that the world is slowly opening up, there are still some adjustments to be made. 

We experienced a collective trauma and there was an increase in the number of people experiencing anxiety. As Carolyn mentioned, “at some point, we need to prioritize our mental health over our physical health.” 

The hardest part is probably the isolation. Although the work-from-home option has been great for a lot of families, the thought of going back to the office, and interacting with different people can make one anxious. Some people may have gotten so used to working on their own that going back to old set-ups may trigger unwanted emotions.

Think about the ways that encourage you to better care for your mental health, or you can seek professional help. Speaking with a therapist can really help process all your thoughts and emotions. 

Also, you may need to evaluate if you have the “what is wrong with me?” mentality. We tend to look at other people that we compare the good parts of their lives to the entirety of ours and this impacts our mental health.

As Carolyn stated, “someone struggling with mental health doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you.” There is a brain component to it where the synapses are not firing properly in the brain. 

She wants to assure people struggling with mental health that this is a condition that can be treated. “The more that we talk about mental health, it reduces the stigma.”

Therapy is like a sounding board for many people. It helps them reflect and be more intentional with how they make decisions. Furthermore, you align your behavior to how you really want to live.

TWEETS

"For people struggling with mental health, therapy and medication often really works." #chasingdreams

"The more we talk about mental health, it reduces the stigma." #chasingdreams

QUOTES

"At some point, you need to prioritize your mental health over your physical health."

"If you're struggling with mental health doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you." 

"You become an outcast when you talk about mental health that shouldn't be what it is today, in this year of 2022."

HOW CAN WE HELP YOUNG PEOPLE STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL HEALTH?

Studies show that depression and anxiety affected more children and adolescents globally. This also manifested in the increasing suicide rates among the youth. One of the reasons why this prevailed is that parents are not aware of their child’s symptoms, or they don’t know what to do. 

Carolyn states that there are many reasons why young people struggle with their mental health and this can be a culmination of various factors. It can be social media, the pandemic, or the pressure from family. 

The simplest way to help teenagers is by asking them how are they doing. However, this may not guarantee that they will disclose what they’re going through. It’s easier for them to tell their story if they know that the person is also experiencing the same struggles.

Since they’re too attached to their social media platforms, it’s important to make them understand that not everything they see on it is reality. They should know that social media is a curated presentation of someone’s life and often, only the best moments are shown.

Social media impacts all of us, and we have to be mindful that people are intentional with their posts. They don’t usually show the moments where they struggle. As Carolyn explained, “it creates a fragmented sense of self because it’s a curated image.”

There can be a disconnect between what you put out there to how you’re actually feeling inside. However, social media can also be a platform to be real and vulnerable. It doesn’t always have to be perfect and social media can be used to give awareness to what’s really happening in one’s life.

TWEETS

"It's easier for teenagers to disclose that they're struggling if they know someone else's story." #chasingdreams 

QUOTES

"Taking care of mental health is really as simple as taking the time to ask, how are you doing?"

"People put their best moments on social media, they don't put the moments that they're struggling."

Guest Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take – 

When chasing your dreams, Carolyn advises being honest with yourself and evaluating your stress levels. If there is a significant amount of stress, it’s best to formulate ways that will encourage self-care. Sometimes, the simplest things can make the biggest difference in how we live our lives and how we chase our dreams.

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [01:40] What did young Carolyn want to be when she grew up?
• [02:30] Carolyn's advice for people who are at a crossroad
• [04:02] Give yourself permission to take care of yourself
• [07:42] Ways to perform self-care
• [12:50] Why do you need to take care of your mental health?
• [15:12] How to address risks?
• [19:55] The importance of seeking therapy
• [21:37] Dealing with the "What is wrong with me?" mentality
• [24:19] How can we help young people struggling with mental health?
• [26:15] How does social media impact us? 
• [34:40] Carolyn's recommendation for people dealing with their mental health and chasing their dreams

Resources Mentioned

• Carolyn’s website
• Carolyn’s Facebook, & LinkedIn
• Psychology Today
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Open Path Collective
• Mental Health America
• Better Help
• South Asian Therapists
• Inclusive Therapists
• Therapy for Black Girls
• Therapy for Black Men
• Asian Mental Health Collective

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. "Things that feel like adversity in your path may ultimately be blessings in the long term."
2. "At some point, you need to prioritize your mental health over your physical health."
3. "If you're struggling with mental health doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you."
4. "You become an outcast when you talk about mental health that shouldn't be what it is today, in this year of 2022."
5. "Taking care of mental health is really as simple as taking the time to ask, how are you doing?"
6. "People put their best moments on social media, they don't put the moments that they're struggling."

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• “Be open-minded to different ideas.” #chasingdreams
• "Take time for yourself." #chasingdreams
• "Take some time to go outside, there's something about it that's calming and soothing." #chasingdreams
• "For people struggling with mental health, therapy and medication often really works." #chasingdreams
• "The more we talk about mental health, it reduces the stigma." #chasingdreams
• "It's easier for teenagers to disclose that they're struggling if they know someone else's story." #chasingdreams

GUEST’S BIO

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Carolyn has a wide range of clinical experiences in both inpatient and outpatient settings. She uses a multi-modality approach to working with individuals, families, and couples, and treating mood disorders, such as anxiety and depression, as well as behavioral and social difficulties. 

Carolyn also works with clients who are going through life transitions, such as divorce and loss. In addition, she is a Certified EMDR therapist. Adolescence is another

area of expertise and she’s worked with many teens on mental health, identity issues, self-esteem, and improving communication with their parents. 

Moreover, Carolyn also specializes in reproductive and perinatal mental health, supporting women before, during, and after pregnancy, and pregnancy loss.

https://youtu.be/pVErPxY-gVk

Mental health is not something we openly talk about and yet it greatly impacts how we live our lives. A lot of us perceive mental health as an essential topic we should be talking about. However, we all know that it’s difficult to take action when we suffer from mental health issues.

In this episode, in celebration of Mental Health Awareness month, Aimee tackles a topic close to her heart and something she supports fully - mental health. Through this episode, Aimee shares how she handles mental stress and recommendations for people undergoing the same experience.

It’s not easy to discuss mental health struggles, but Aimee believes that how we handle it in the present times influences the next generation. When we normalize these conversations, we also create safe spaces where people can freely talk and look for help regarding their conditions. 

THE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH

We may not recognize it, but there is a rising need to talk about mental health. As Aimee stated, “we millennials should understand what we’re doing and how we treat mental health is impacting the generation next.”

This is the right time for us to take a stand and find the help that we need. However, with this thought, it’s also important to recognize that finding help is a challenge in itself. Aimee adds, “what we need to do most importantly is acknowledge that we need help for mental health.”

TWEET

"What we're doing and how we treat mental health is impacting the generation next." #chasingdreams

"What we need to do most importantly is acknowledge that we need help for mental health." #chasingdreams

QUOTE

"Finding help is also a challenge and one that is also being worked on."

THE IMPORTANCE OF TALKING TO A THERAPIST

Aimee is a big advocate of talking to therapists, in fact, Aimee shares that she has a wonderful therapist. “She understands what I’m going through.” Her advice for people with mental health struggles is, “find the right therapist for you.”

Being able to find someone who understands what you’re going through is very helpful because you can easily relay your message. Once you find the right therapist, stick with it.

This is not to say that you should see the therapist every week, figure out the number of sessions that you need. 

Although going to a therapist has always been labeled as taboo, we should be breaking this stigma so more and more people are encouraged to find the help they need.

Aimee says, “a therapist is a third party who doesn't necessarily have a vested interest in the decisions you make.” The best thing about having a therapist is that they root for you, they want what’s best for you, but they allow you to make the choices.

Therapists see you and what you’re going through from a different perspective. They give valuable and reasonable advice that you can do to make changes in your life. 

TWEET

"Therapists want what's best for you, but they allow you to make that choice." #chasingdreams

"A therapist is an outside, objective person who can give you feedback." #chasingdreams

QUOTE

"It's a normal thing to get help, to talk to someone that is not your family."

"A therapist is a third party who doesn't necessarily have a vested interest in the decisions you make."

PANDEMIC SIDE EFFECTS ON MENTAL HEALTH

The pandemic has had unfortunate side effects on people, especially on mental health. A lot of professionals from different industries were affected including medical frontliners, first responders, teachers, employees, and even business owners.

Their mental health was affected because of the immense stress and pressure that was placed upon them. Some of them have been forced to do things that they’re not comfortable doing. While some of them have risked and are continuously risking their lives for others.

In the last few years, we have seen an increase in suicide and depression. Therefore, as a community, we should make sure that they are getting the help that they deserve and this involves taking care of their mental health. 

The best way for us to help is to create a safe space for them. Remind them that they are not alone and help is always available.

TWEET

"What you're going through is not singular." #chasingdreams

QUOTE

"The only way we can help is to give them a safe space to talk and get help."

A CHALLENGE TO DATE YOURSELF AND TRY NEW THINGS

In celebration of the Mental Health Awareness month, Aimee challenges listeners to “date yourself.” This helps you get to know yourself better. In this process, you will figure out what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want for yourself.

As you unravel more information about yourself, you also get to evaluate your environment, this includes your home, work, and relationships. This may not always be easy because you’ll always consider what other people say.

You need to keep in mind that you are perfectly capable of running your life and making good choices. There’s also the importance of trying new things and learning activities that actually bring you joy.

As you find peace and contentment with the things that make you happy, you’ll notice that you function better as an individual. You become a better parent, spouse, sibling, etc.

Remember that you need to take care of yourself first before you can care for others. 

TWEET

"Take some time to date yourself and figure out what you want." #chasingdreams

"Before you can be any of your titles, you must be yourself." #chasingdreams

QUOTE

"Remind yourself that this is your life and these are your choices. At the end of the day, you owe it to yourself."

"You cannot give to others if you can't take care of yourself."

Aimee’s Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take – 

A challenge to date yourself and try new things. This allows you to know yourself deeper and the actions you need to achieve your dreams. Also, trying out new things broadens your horizons, you’ll never know if you’re meant for a different path if you don’t give it a try. 

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [00:43] The need to talk about Mental Health
• [01:25] The importance of talking to a therapist
• [03:35] Pandemic side effects on mental health
• [06:15] A challenge to date yourself and try new things

Resources Mentioned

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Open Path Collective
• Psychology Today
• Mental Health America
• Better Help
• South Asian Therapists
• Inclusive Therapists
• Therapy for Black Girls
• Therapy for Black Men
• Asian Mental Health Collective

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. "Finding help is also a challenge and one that is also being worked on."
2. "It's a normal thing to get help, to talk to someone that is not your family."
3. "A therapist is a third party who doesn't necessarily have a vested interest in the decisions you make."
4. "The only way we can help is to give them a safe space to talk and get help."
5. "Remind yourself that this is your life and these are your choices. At the end of the day, you owe it to yourself."
6. "You cannot give to others if you can't take care of yourself."

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• "What we're doing and how we treat mental health is impacting the generation next." #chasingdreams
• "What we need to do most importantly is acknowledge that we need help for mental health." #chasingdreams
• "Therapists want what's best for you, but they allow you to make that choice." #chasingdreams
• "A therapist is an outside, objective person who can give you feedback." #chasingdreams
• "What you're going through is not singular." #chasingdreams
• "Take some time to date yourself and figure out what you want." #chasingdreams
• "Before you can be any of your titles, you must be yourself." #chasingdreams

https://youtu.be/LerD8Xmtim4

We tend to think that life is hard, and it is but what we fail to realize is that we’re capable of improving our lives, we have the power to pivot and deal with hard things.

In this episode, Aimee explores something that she’s always been afraid to do - speak to her listeners directly. She shares her thoughts and insights about various topics and this episode, it’s about the hard things in life and why we should be empowered to handle them.

Life is not always going to be a smooth ride, there will be bumps ahead but when you choose to look at it positively, you’re bound to enjoy and appreciate it more.

THE DANGERS OF COMPARISONITIS

We’ve all heard the term midlife crisis, society expects us to undergo a dilemma as we enter a certain age. But for Aimee, it’s better to call it “comparisonitis.” We live through the dangers of constantly comparing our lives with others, but this can be cured with time and good practice. 

Comparisonitis normally happens when we don’t feel secure with our lives or when we’re not happy with what’s going on. It’s easy to succumb to this phenomenon if we consistently engage in social media and compare other's “perfect” life with ours.

What makes this worse is being surrounded by people who are judging you of where you are in life, this pressure leads us to believe that we are failing but in reality, everyone goes through hard things, but it’s not always broadcasted on social media. We have to take realize that we can do something about it. 

WHY OUR LIVES ARE BEYOND SOCIAL MEDIA

We have to realize that we can do something about comparisonitis. This begins with the acknowledgment that what we see on social media has been perfectly curated, it’s not always a 100% accurate depiction of other’s real life.

All we see is the end result, we don’t see the struggles and work they put in to get to where they are. You also have to kick the notion that you are failing just because your life is different from others. 

You have to accept that life is full of hard things, you may think that you’re a failure because you don’t have it easy, but that’s just how life is. Moreover, you are here because you can do hard things. 

You need to have your own success scale, so you’re not measuring success through the scale of others. What other people think of as success may not be what you deem as success. Figure out what you want and what you need in life to categorize your success scale.

Life is hard, but you’re here, don’t waste your time comparing your life to others. Think about what makes you feel successful and do it.

TWEET

"You have to kick the notion that you are failing at life." #chasingdreams

"You can do hard things." #chasingdreams 

"Don't use someone else's scale to measure your success, you have to come up with that scale." #chasingdreams

"It is hard to be here, but you did it." #chasingdreams 

QUOTE

"Just because something is difficult or hard doesn't mean you're failing at life."

"You are here because you can do hard things."

"What other people deem success may not be what you deem success."

"Don't judge your life based on someone else's scale and criteria."

LIFE IS A JOURNEY NOT A DESTINATION

We have to keep in mind that life is a journey, it’s not a destination or a goal. Aimee has said this a couple of times, but it sure is worth repeating, “it’s all about the dream chase not the dream end goal and result.  

The ups and downs that we experience stay with us, they become core memories that eventually help us navigate life. We often look for shortcuts, but the problem with this is we miss out on the growth from working to get to our dreams. 

Just like in the butterfly analogy, butterflies have to go through the tough time of developing their wings while in the cocoon. This struggle helps them become strong and prepares them to take off. The same can be said for us humans, the difficulties we go through prepares us to course through life. 

Don’t turn away from your struggles, face them head-on. We have to accept that we are capable of doing hard things. With social media, we’re bombarded with the notion that life should be easy, but it will never be like this. 

We are designed to journey through the good and the bad of life and the best way to go about this journey is to be more accepting and learn from whatever life throws at us. 

TWEET

"It's all about the dream chase, not the dream end goal and results." #chasingdreams

"Don't turn away from the fight that you're chasing." #chasingdreams

"Focus on you, not on other people." #chasingdreams 

QUOTE

"Life is a journey, it is not a destination."

"The journey is what is important, not the end goal."

"The problem with looking for shortcuts is you're missing out on the growth that happens when you get from working to get to your dreams."

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARE

You need to care for yourself and this is a commitment you should stick with every single day. Self-care is one of the most undervalued principles because we’re always busy taking care of others, we dismiss the fact we also need to be taken care of.

When you take care of yourself, you become a better version for yourself and others. You become more effective with work and personal relationships if you prioritize your wellbeing. 

Self-care also brings impact to other people, you become a great example that embodies the importance of taking care of oneself. Your children and the people around you will see the benefits of it, and they may be inspired to care for themselves as well.

If you have kids, they will mimic what they see in their parents, so you need to set a good example for them as they grow up. They’ll realize that the best way to care for others starts with taking care of oneself.

TWEET

"Self-care will change the game." #chasingdreams 

QUOTE

"Self-care is so important, you have to take time every day for it."

"If you think you don't have enough time for self-care, it's because you are not making it a priority."

"If you are not cared for, how can you care for someone else?"

"Figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself because then you will be fulfilled to help others."

Aimee’s Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take – 

Take a look at your life and realize that you have the power to pivot. Whatever it is you’re going through, keep in mind that you are capable of changing it at any point in time. In chasing your dreams, you have to stop focusing on other people’s lives, stop comparing and concentrate on what you can do to improve your life. 

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [02:05] The dangers of comparisonitis
• [03:30] Why our lives are beyond social media
• [06:40] Life is a journey, not a destination
• [09:22] Carpe Diem
• [11:29] The arrogance in our 20s
• [13:15] The importance of self-care
• [17:03] All things are possible
• [17:55] You have the power to pivot

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. "Just because something is difficult or hard doesn't mean you're failing at life."
2. "Don't judge your life based on someone else's scale and criteria."
3. "The problem with looking for shortcuts is you're missing out on the growth that happens when you get from working to get to your dreams." 
4. "Think long-term but act short term."
5. "If you think you don't have enough time for self-care, it's because you are not making it a priority."
6. "Figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself because then you will be fulfilled to help others."
7. "All things are possible even if it's not easy." 
8. "There's peace within you when you're living life the way you want to live it." 

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• "You can do hard things." #chasingdreams 
• "It is hard to be here, but you did it." #chasingdreams
• "It's all about the dream chase, not the dream end goal and results." #chasingdreams 
• "Self-care will change the game." #chasingdreams 
• "You have to power to pivot." #chasingdreams
• "Life is a journey." #chasingdreams 
• "Don't turn away from the fight that you're chasing." #chasingdreams 
• "You have to kick the notion that you are failing at life." #chasingdreams

https://youtu.be/Xvz2Djy7L0M

Tap into yourself, figure out who you really are, and embrace that. 

In this episode, Sylvia and Drew Nixon, share the value of knowing who you really are and walking in your purpose. Life can get too noisy that we often miss the very thing that we would like to do, but we are given the opportunity to recognize our strength and learn the process of chasing our dreams. 

WHAT YOUNG DREW AND SYLVIA WANTED TO BE

It’s always an interesting question when someone asks us what our dreams are when we were younger. Some of us may have varying dreams like Drew or one specific dream that will stay all throughout like Sylvia.

Young Sylvia always knew she wanted to be an actress or a talk show host. She was even considered to be most likely to have a talk show like Oprah in her senior yearbook. Life eventually took a different turn for Sylvia but deep in her heart, she still has that dream. 

While for Drew, he was (on his own terms) “all over the place but not indecisive” when it comes to his dreams. He’s done a lot of different things thus his background is so colorful.

Although he’s always believed that he can do anything, Sylvia has taught him how to hone a specific skill and know who he really is. It helped build his knowledge and his character. 

Now, Drew tells their daughter Chloe that he appreciates every single thing he ventured out when he was younger because it gave him the back-end knowledge and strategies in situations that demanded it.

DREW & SYLVIA’S JOURNEY TO WHERE THEY ARE NOW

When Sylvia was 19 years old she moved to New Jersey in the hopes that her dream of becoming an actress or a talk show host will come to pass. She’s always had the confidence that when she shows up, everything will change. 

There wasn’t a single negative thought in Sylvia’s mind during that time. She didn’t think that it was a very competitive world where it was difficult to get in. Sylvia knew that her dream was very natural for her and she just showed up. All she was thinking was that somebody was going to sign her up for projects.

But as Sylvia mentioned, “it didn’t happen that way.” She came from a small town went to a big city with big dreams and big goals. It sure was a chasing dream moment, but Sylvia added, “it was a chasing dream moment without structure and planning.”

This grandiose event in her life served as an eye-opener. Sylvia realized that she didn’t have to give up on her dreams, she just needed to go in a different direction.

She started learning the ropes of the corporate sector and came back to Florida. Although not everything happened according to how she wanted it to be, it brought her acceptance that “without that dream coming to pass, it doesn’t mean that it’s not going to happen.”

While Drew looks at life from a faith-based standpoint. For him, every encounter he had with life happened for a reason. He uses the turbulence analogy whenever we go through a crisis.

Drew states that “turbulence is a constant reminder that there’s a movement happening and that there’s a destination you’re going to get to.” He embraces all the turbulence that he experiences and believes in the power of pivoting. 

Sylvia equates turbulence to new beginnings in our lives. The best example is when someone starts with a new job, she advises, “give yourself the grace to learn and to go through the process.”

A pivot is a learning curve and we don’t always learn instantly, there has to be a process. We go through different seasons in our lives and when we know that a big change is imminent, we have to give ourselves time to comprehend the whole process. 

The process may feel uncomfortable but it’s necessary. Don’t be scared of the change because it allows you to go to a destination where you can cruise and roll with everything that comes your way. 

We’ve become so acquainted with movies or societal expectations that we’re led to believe that change is easy but in reality, it’s not. We have to learn how to process change and grow where we are placed.

TWEETS

“What you see is what you get.” #chasingdreams

"Turbulence is not always a bad thing, it's movement, growth, and a destination." #chasingdreams

"When you pivot, you have to brace yourself." #chasingdreams

"You may feel uncomfortable, but it's necessary for your changing season. #chasingdreams 

QUOTES

"This may not be what I thought it was going to be, but I'm not going to give up on it, I'll just have to go in another direction." 

"Without that dream coming to pass, that does not mean it's not going to happen." 

"Turbulence is a constant reminder that there's a movement happening. There's a destination that you're going to get to."

"Give yourself the grace to learn and to go through the process."

"Any pivot is a learning curve" 

THE ADVANTAGES OF WEARING MULTIPLE HATS

Both Sylvia and Drew are firm believers in wearing multiple hats in life. Drew is a musician, graphic designer, and pyrotechnic professional while Sylvia is an author, a business owner a mother, etc.

Some people limit themselves to one job or one category but for Drew and Sylvia, it’s better to have multiple passions. Drew explains, “I truly believe in my ability” and he doesn’t put himself in a limiting box.  

He ingrained this mindset early on and he kept himself busy with activities he’s passionate about. 

Sylvia believes in the importance of being honest with ourselves and what has been given to us. She adds, “I have to be honest with what has been put in my hands.”

We are all born with a purpose, some of us are asked to do some things while others are meant to do multiple things. The moment we realize what has been placed in our hands, it’s going to give us fulfillment. 

However, life can become so noisy that we miss the very thing that we really like to do. Some people may even push aside their passion because they compare their success with others. 

Some people may become sad or depressed because they are not honest and they don’t operate in the gifts that have been placed in their hands. But when we do operate according to our gifts, we’ll feel fulfilled and we’ll also change the lives of people we come in contact with.

Also, Sylvia expounds on the significance of connections. She thinks that people have taken for granted connections and how it helps us get to our purpose. She declares, “when we are placed together, it is for the purpose and advancement of something huge.”

Although Sylvia believes in the value of connections and working towards achieving purpose together, she also highlights knowing what fills you as an individual.

What works for Drew and Sylvia’s relationship is that “we respect what fills each other but we still know how to have a fulfilment together as a married couple. This allows them to work together and not break apart.

TWEETS

"I have to be honest and embrace what has been placed in my hands." #chasingdreams 

"When we are placed together it is for the purpose and advancement of something huge." #chasingdreams

"We respect what fulfil each other but we still have a fulfilment together." #chasingdreams 

QUOTES

"Because life is so noisy, it can get you so thrown off that you miss the very thing that you really like to do."

"When we operate in the gifts that have been placed in our hands, we will be fulfilled and it will change the lives of those we come in contact with."

"You have to recognize who you're connected with, who you're connected to, and why you are connected because that will make you stronger." 

PASSION & PURPOSE JOBS VS JOBS THAT PAY THE BILLS

Most of us are faced with a situation where we have to choose between what we are passionate about and jobs that actually pay our bills. We have to do what we have to do to have a roof over our heads.

This kind of scenario happened to Drew and Sylvia, they knew what they were passionate about but always had that fear to pursue it because they don’t want to be left with nothing in case it didn’t play out. 

They took it upon themselves to pivot to what they knew as their purpose. Sylvia advice’s is to go after what your heart’s desire is with direction from God. She adds, “you cannot go after it with your own thought of how you’re going to make it work.

Once they have surrendered their hearts to what God wanted, it was truly life-changing. 

Drew’s advice for people struggling between these two major decisions is “you have to be very clear with who you are, where you are, and what are your needs.” Also, you need to have a plan and set your goals.

Another thing that Drew and Sylvia emphasized is “you have to be careful who you tell this to.” Some people may think that your dream is just too big and you’ll never be able to achieve it, some may even talk you out of it.

Not everybody deserves access to knowing what your dreams are. It’s easier to align actions that will help achieve your dreams when the people around you are not saying things that might throw you off.

TWEETS

"You have to assess where you are and have a dream to chase." #chasingdreams 

"Not everybody deserves access to knowing what your dreams are." #chasingdreams

QUOTES

"Go after where your desire is, with direction from God."

"You have to be very clear with who you are, where you are, and what are your needs."

"People don't understand what belongs to you."

Guest Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take – 

When chasing your dreams, Sylvia advises, don’t give up on the dream but most of all, don’t give up on yourself. Never allow yourself to feel discouraged and believe in the strength that has been given to you.

Andrew wants dream chasers to know that it’s totally okay to explore different niches, it doesn’t mean that you’re a jack of all trades, master of none but it helps broaden your knowledge and expertise. This makes you better than just being a master of one.

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [02:40] What young Drew and Sylvia wanted to be
• [07:27] Drew and Sylvia’s journey to where they are now
• [17:20] The advantages of wearing multiple hats
• [26:30] Passion and purpose jobs vs jobs that pay the bills
• [38:07] Drew and Sylvia's recommendation to dream chasers

Resources Mentioned

• Andrew’s Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram
• Sylvia’s Facebook & Instagram
• Press N’ Sow website

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. "Without that dream coming to pass, that does not mean it's not going to happen." 
2. "Give yourself grace to learn and to go through the process."
3. "Once you realize what has been placed in your hands, that's going to give you fulfillment."
4. "When we operate in the gifts that have been placed in our hands, we will be fulfilled, and it will change the lives of those we come in contact with." 
5. "You have to be very clear with who you are, where you are, and what are your needs." 
6. "When you allow discouragement and negativity to even settle in your mind, you have given up."
7. "Believe in the strength that has been given to you."
8. "If you allow doubt to enter, you will think that somebody else is better than you." 

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• "Turbulence is not always a bad thing, it's movement, growth, and a destination." #chasingdreams
• "Give yourself grace as you pivot through the process." #chasingdreams
• "You may feel uncomfortable, but it's necessary for your changing season. #chasingdreams
• "When we are placed together it is for the purpose and advancement of something huge." #chasingdreams
• "We respect what fulfill each other, but we still have a fulfillment together." #chasingdreams
• "Not everybody deserves access to knowing what your dreams are." #chasingdreams
• "Don't give up on your dream but most of all, don't give up on yourself." #chasingdreams 
• "You are great and amazing just the way you are, but you have to believe that for yourself." #chasingdreams

GUEST’S BIO

Strength. Confidence. Power. That sums up Andrew and Sylvia Nixon. Married 16 years and have one daughter Chloe Nixon. Andrew and Sylvia are a testimony of not giving up and chasing their dreams. From Corporate to Business Owners - Andrew and Sylvia will motivate you and give you the tools and resources to chase after your purpose!

https://youtu.be/SMbzBIYRsVY

We always believe that we have time to do things. We focus too much on the future that we forget to enjoy the present. 

In this episode, Aimee shares a personal experience with loss, grief, and the learnings she got from losing two people close to her heart. It is during the dark moments in our lives we realize that life shouldn't be taken for granted, and we need to make the most of it.

THE PERSONAL EFFECTS OF WORLD-CHANGING EVENTS

A few months ago, a friend of Aimee's passed away suddenly. This event threw her off, not even sure how, when, or what is happening. Then, another family member has passed around two and a half weeks ago. 

These personal and out-of-the-body experiences have brought her to a point of reflection. It felt weird because as she was getting updates from a family member fighting for her life in the hospital, everybody else was going about their normal, daily routines.

With these situations, Aimee had a taste of reality that our lives can end instantly, and yet we still manage to take a lot of things for granted. She didn’t see these events coming, and her life has made a 180 degrees turn. 

But the thing is, we humans don’t dwell on the idea of death so when it happens, we and our family members are taken aback. This devastating event can be disastrous to our families, but we need to start thinking about how to make the most of our lives and not take things for granted. 

TAKING FOR GRANTED THAT THERE IS A NEXT TIME

During the eulogy for their beloved family member, Aimee’s sister mentioned a compelling statement, “We mistakenly thought we had all the time in the world. We took for granted that there would be a next time.”

Hearing this at a time when you just lost someone dear to you hits hard. We always think that we’ll always have time for the things that we’re putting off. You may know someone so dedicated to working and yet has no plans of enjoying the fruits of his labor until retirement.

Instead of looking for a job that satisfies our soul, we stick to one that’s just okay because we believe that we have time for that in the future. Our mindset is always at having time to do the things we want in the future and not at this moment, at the present. 

As cliché as it may sound, we really don’t know what tomorrow will bring that’s why we need to enjoy our lives now. We’ll never know if we’re going to be as healthy as we are now than tomorrow. 

Don’t wait until you're old and regretful to try new things, to take the vacation you’ve been wanting, or to live the kind of life you’ve always wanted to live.

TWEET

“We don't know what tomorrow will bring.” #chasingdreams

"If there's a trip you want to take, do it now when you can enjoy it." #chasingdreams

QUOTE

“We mistakenly thought we had all the time in the world. We took for granted that there would be a next time.”

“We think that there will be a time for the things that we're putting off.”

“I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm saying it's possible.”

AIMEE’S TIPS FOR DREAM CHASERS

With the sudden death of two loved ones, Aimee has had deep reflections that can help prepare for this distressing event. She gives a couple of tips to dream chasers.

The first one is having a will. This is one way of giving your family peace at the time of a sudden demise. Depending on the state you’re in, there will be different rules and regulations on how a will is constructed.

Also, find a lawyer that’s going to make the will legally binding and update it from time to time. You may meet different people or be under different circumstances and your will may need to be updated. This is a great recommendation, especially for people who have children since their last wishes have been defined.

By having your will ready, you’re preventing family members from the problem of going through a difficult process. Indeed, it makes life easier because everything is filled out, and they just have to carry out your wishes.

The second piece of advice of Aimee is to take some time to reflect on your life at the present moment. Ask yourself and be honest with your answers, “Am I where I want to be? Is this what I want to do?”

You need to be honest with how you feel about your life because as Aimee said, “This is your life. You are the one that has to close your eyes at night, wake up the next day and live it.”

Our families may be putting certain pressures on us unknowingly, but you’ve got to understand that at the end of the day, it’s your life, and you have the right to make decisions. 

Start looking around and assess whether you are in a place that is serving you or your purpose. Aimee is not saying that immediately quit a job that’s not a fit for you, but eventually, you’ll have to start the process. Promise yourself that you will not be wasting more time doing things that you don’t like.

Never be afraid to make mistakes with the decisions you went with. You are bound to fall because life is like that. What’s important is that you pivot and move forward. 

Lastly, you need to take care of mental health. We tune in to so much social media that we think that just because our lives are different, we’re a failure. This is not the case, whatever it is that you’re experiencing, keep in mind that it’s valid.

Should there come a time that you fail, and you’ll have to do something again, it’s okay. In moments that you may have failed, remember that you are not a failure. Life happens and this means it may be filled with challenges and misfortunes. 

Just like what Aimee suggested, “when you fall, you get back up.” You need to think outside the box and realize that what we see in social media may not always be true. 

Your number one priority in life should be YOU. You have to take care of yourself mentally and physically because if you don’t, you’ll never be able to help others.

Anxiety is real, and it will hit hard, so it’s best to be prepared mentally. If you feel that you’re not giving yourself enough time, take a break.  

We may be busy with life, but this shouldn’t be the reason why we take for granted our time. See to it that you’re living life to the fullest and not having any regrets in the future.

TWEET

“Time is of the essence, don't put it off.” #chasingdreams

“Saying no is one of the most powerful things you can do.” #chasingdreams

“Life is not a formula. Life is sporadic, chaotic, and spontaneous.” #chasingdreams

You are empowered to make the choices you want to make. #chasingdreams

"Think outside the box." #chasingdreams

"At the moment that you feel that you had failed, you are not a failure." #chasingdreams

QUOTE

“The will is your way of showing your family that you want to give them peace at the time of a sudden demise.”

“As you're chasing your dreams, it's important that we also take care of ourselves and those around us.”

“Sometimes we make decisions because we think it's for the best of our families or what our cultures expect.”

“This is your life. You are the one that has to close your eyes at night, wake up the next day and live it.”

“Take the input and suggestions from others but at the end of the day, the buck stops with you, it's your decision.”

“At the end of the day, it's you who have to answer how you lived your life.”

“What makes you happy, do that.”

“Even what your parents say is not the only way.”

“If you do not take care of yourself mentally and physically, you cannot help others.”

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [00:27] The personal effects of world-changing events
• [04:03] Taking for granted there is a next time
• [06:40] The negative influence of society’s expectations
• [08:05] Aimee’s tips for Dream Chasers
• [08:25] The importance of having a will
• [12:55] Take some time to reflect on your life
• [17:03] Living life on your own terms
• [18:28] Don’t take for granted that there is a tomorrow
• [23:48] You are your own Number 1 priority

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. “We mistakenly thought we had all the time in the world. We took for granted that there would be a next time.”
2. “I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm saying it's possible.”
3. “Life is precious, and we need to make the most of it.”
4. “As you're chasing your dreams, it's important that we also take care of ourselves and those around us.”
5. “Take the input and suggestions from others but at the end of the day, the buck stops with you, it's your decision.”
6. “If you do not take care of yourself mentally and physically, you cannot help others.”
7. “Don't chase money because if you chase money, you're not chasing your own happiness.”
8. “The number one priority in life is YOU.”

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• “We don't know what tomorrow will bring.” #chasingdreams
• “Time is of the essence, don't put it off.” #chasingdreams
• “Don't make choices in desperation.” #chasingdreams
• “Saying no is one of the most powerful things you can do.” #chasingdreams
• “Life is not a formula. Life is sporadic, chaotic, and spontaneous.” #chasingdreams
• You are empowered to make the choices you want to make. #chasingdreams
• “At the moment that you feel that you had failed, you are not a failure.” #chasingdreams

https://youtu.be/3caEwTRImfk

Chasing our dreams will demand persistence to learn and explore various options and oftentimes, it will call for multi-passion experiences. 

My good friend Daree Allen Nieves is back on Chasing Dreams. She was on episode 77 and now she’s here to tell us about her multi-passions. Daree has been doing a wide variety of things in her life and she encourages people to do the same. She shares how it helped her relationships, perspectives, and life in general.

ONE THING THAT CHANGED IN DAREE’S LIFE & SHE’S HAPPY ABOUT

Looking back on the five years since Daree has graced the Chasing Dreams podcast, she’s asked about one thing that has changed in her life that she has no complaints about.

In a heartbeat, Daree answered, “I am allowing myself to do things or not do them and be okay with it.” She used to have a perfectionist mindset where everything she does should be excellent. Although this is perfectly okay, Daree realized that she’s become so rigid and there’s no more room for flexibility and enjoyment. 

One of Daree’s life examples is her podcasting journey. There was just too much pressure of releasing an episode. She needed to be committed to the hustle and prove to everybody else that she is indeed working hard. 

Until she came to a point in her life where she became at peace in not being too hard on herself, that she’s not going to beat herself up for not going through all the hassle to finish something.

However, Daree’s actions are not an indication that she’s lost accountability. What she expresses is giving herself the freedom to loosen the chains of perfectionism and you don’t have to bombard yourself with information and sensory overload.

Daree added, “just because you can do something, doesn’t mean that you necessarily should.” You don’t have to keep up with everybody else. This means that you need to evaluate what you need to prioritize and focus on it.

QUOTES

“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you necessarily should. You don't have to do all the things.”

THE OUTCOMES OF THE HUSTLE CULTURE

Glorifying the hustle culture has affected people’s mental health. We become so pressured about doing all things at once and doing them perfectly. People call themselves failures if they’re not able to follow the same exact path that others used to reach success. 

With the hustle culture, people wear themselves out to make sure they get everything accomplished. Others may say that an individual is not hustling because of having a day job.

As Aimee stated, “my day job allows me to take care of my family, have insurance, and have these passions.” For someone who does a lot of things in her life, Daree declares that certain people in life will make you feel that “you’re not a legit entrepreneur unless you do it full-time.”

She recognizes all the struggles and challenges that full-time entrepreneurs go through to ensure their business is successful. But for her, it’s important to go outside the business and learn new skills. She does this by broadening her horizons and committing to knowledge that can help her in future endeavors.

WHY WE NEED TO BE MULTI-PASSIONATE

In the two decades that Daree has stayed with her job, she wasn’t just working. She also became busy learning new skills such as podcasting, voice-over, writing a book, getting certified as a life coach, speaking engagements, and lots of other things. 

These skills became exceptional highlights when it came to looking for another job. It allowed her to showcase that she’s not a one-trick pony; too skilled in only one area yet doesn’t have anything else to offer.

Daree acknowledges that it’s fine to not have all these side hustles, if a person wants to continue with his ways of making money, it’s perfectly okay. 

What she advises us is that there is beauty in trying new things and deciding whether it’s for you or not. If you’re starting as an entrepreneur, the first advice you will get is “focus on one thing, do it really well and then if you want, maybe you can branch out on other things.”

Aimee added that just because you’re doing something out of a hobby doesn’t mean that you should earn from it. This comes from other people’s pressure that we should be getting money from the things we love doing and this shouldn’t always be the case.

It’s important to try different things and see where it will take you. It may not lead to the usual path that others take but at least you learn something new and learn more about yourself.

TWEETS

“You can enjoy something and let it just be a hobby.” #chasingdreams

“Try different things.” #chasing dreams

QUOTES

“Even if you're not doing all these side hustles, it's fine. It's okay to make your money how you want to make it.”

“Focus on one thing, do it really well and then if you want, maybe you can branch out on other things.”

MANAGING PUSHBACKS IN LIFE

Some people have a very stiff mindset, or probably they were raised into believing that the only way to achieve success is by becoming successful in a job. Daree believes that you can be successful and make money at whatever level you are.

If we look around the world, people find it hard to accept that we are allowed to have different schools of thought and be able to change our minds if we want to. 

When Daree’s asked what her weaknesses are, she’ll say, “I don’t want to go around telling grown adults what they need to be doing” and this is the reason why she doesn’t want to be a manager.

Not wanting to become a manager regardless of the company, is a shocking revelation for some people. Others may also see this as crazy talk, but we need to accept that not all people will want the same things that we want. We are allowed to think differently and go through our lives the way we want.

As humans, we are also allowed to change our minds if we deem it necessary. We are not bound to have the same mindset that we have 5 years ago. There are so many times that our society and our work culture establish what a normal path to success is. 

We focus too much on what society pressures us to do that we no longer think about the other possibilities we have. Instead of being too obsessed with outside noise, institute your own definition of success. 

TWEETS

“You can change your mind. How you felt 5 years ago can be different to how you feel today.” #chasingdreams

My success definition is different from someone else's success definition. #chasingdreams

QUOTES

“There are so many times that society and workplace culture define what the path is.”

“We focus too much on traditions, societal norms, and stereotypes that we don't think about alternate possibilities.”

HOW CAN PEOPLE FIGURE OUT THEIR PASSIONS

Although there are different paths to knowing our true passion, it’s never easy to figure it out and how to go about it. Daree mentioned some of the ways she used to find out her passion and it includes surveys and career inventories. But she knows that not everyone has the time to do these things.

As Daree stated, the simplest way is to “think about the things that bring you joy.” You can do this by thinking about your hobbies and the things you want to do. It can also be things that you’ve once put off and now is the perfect time to go back and explore it more.

She adds, “it’s never too late to go back and explore things.” Our age is just an indication that we are wiser to know things and we have gained the time to fully enjoy what we want. Moreover, Daree mentions, “you're never too old to have fun and to be happy.”

You shouldn’t force yourself into thinking that every hobby you take should be a side job, sometimes it’s all about what you feel. Being genuinely happy and fulfilled because of doing things you love is more important than always thinking about the revenue.

One golden nugget that Daree gave away is “if you do decide that you want to try and pursue something, be persistent long enough to give it a chance.” You don’t want to quit too early, because you’ll never know the results if you do so.

Doing our passions is an investment, it will require time and effort. We have to do whatever we need to do to give it a chance to flourish. There’s no telling how long it will take, it may take a month or even a year.

It’s significant to remember that life is too short, we have to have fun in whatever hobby we engage in. 

TWEET

“Think about the things that bring you joy.” #chasingdreams

“You're never too old to have fun and to be happy.” #chasingdreams

“Do whatever you're going to do long enough to give it a chance.” #chasingdreams

“Life is too short, have fun.” #chasingdreams 

QUOTES

“It's never too late to go back and explore things.”

“If you do decide that you want to try and pursue something be persistent long enough to give it a chance.”

“When something is very fulfilling usually, it doesn't come very smoothly.”

Guest Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take – 

When chasing your dreams, you have to be patient with yourself. The moment you start chasing your dreams, it may feel like everything is getting in the way but don’t let this stop you. Although it’s important to have a timestamp for achieving your dreams, it’s not obligatory. Keep in mind that when obstacles happen, they are mere signs that you are on the right path. Continue on, be steadfast, commit to your happiness, and be patient with yourself. 

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [01:52] The things Daree is grateful for
• [03:20] One thing that changed in Daree’s life & she’s happy about
• [05:53] The outcomes of the hustle culture
• [07:21] Why we need to be multi-passionate
• [11:50] What has she tried and figured wasn’t for her
• [14:00] Managing pushbacks in life
• [17:15] The changes in the corporate and business operations 
• [22:28] How Daree helps her daughter navigate the future
• [26:39] The effects of having an arrogant/ overly confident mindset
• [30:50] How can people figure out their passions?
• [36:07] How do we figure out what to do in life?
• [44:39] Why do we need to be patient with ourselves?

Resources Mentioned

• Daree’s website
• Daree’s Instagram
• Daree’s Twitter
• Daree’s Facebook
• Kickin' It with Daree
• What's Wrong With Me?: A Girl's Book of Lessons Learned, Inspiration and Advice
• 10 Ways to Love Yourself (Even if He Doesn't)
• Ep. 77: Daree Allen Nieves – Know Your Why and the Importance of Accountability

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. “Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you necessarily should. You don't have to do all the things.”
2. “Focus on one thing, do it really well and then if you want, maybe you can branch out on other things.”
3. “We focus too much on traditions, societal norms, and stereotypes that we don't think about alternate possibilities.”
4. “People limit themselves because this is what previous generations have told us.”
5. “A lot of the older generations or certain families may not have taught us the basic life skills.”
6. “It's never too late to go back and explore things.”
7. “If you do decide that you want to try and pursue something, be persistent long enough to give it a chance.”
8. “When something is very fulfilling, usually, it doesn't come very smoothly.”

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• “You can enjoy something and let it just be a hobby.” #chasingdreams
• “There are people with different mindsets and mentalities and that's fine.” #chasingdreams
• “Just because you can, don't mean you should.” #chasingdreams
• “You can change your mind. How you felt 5 years ago can be different to how you feel today.” #chasingdreams
• “My success definition is different from someone else's success definition.” #chasingdreams
• “There is no recipe or formula to life.” #chasingdreams
• “The harder the fall, the longer it will take to bounce back.” #chasingdreams
• “You're never too old to have fun and be happy.” #chasingdreams

GUEST’S BIO

Daree Allen Nieves is an award-winning technical writer, certified UX writer, certified life coach, group fitness instructor, podcaster, author, and voice actor in Virginia. Her voice-over credits include The Centers for Disease Control (CDC), American Heart Association, Stand Up 2 Cancer, Boeing, NBCUniversal, 23andMe, Live Nation, Huntington Bank, Walmart, and The Ad Council.

She has spoken at VO Atlanta, DC Podfest, Afros & Audio Podcast Festival, The Society for Technical Communication (STC), and many others.

Daree also enjoys reading, traveling, and jumping into a line dance. Find out more about her work at KickinitwithDaree.com and DareeVoiceover.com.

https://youtu.be/pvMm3_l0lDY

Can you believe that in this day and age of technological advancements and intense social awareness, there are still norms and stereotypes that don’t serve us well?

In this episode, Aimee shares with us why she didn’t come back straight away. She did a lot of experimenting and along came her realizations about life. She was a victim of societal norms and stereotypes and through this episode, she hopes to create a difference and call for a challenge so that other people will not experience the same.

BEING A VICTIM OF SOCIETAL NORMS & STEREOTYPES

Aimee mentioned that she was a victim of societal norms and stereotypes, and she added that “a lot of us are, and we don’t realize it until later on in life.” We may realize that we’ve always wanted to do something but are afraid that we’ll disappoint other people or our parents.

There are also instances where we don’t want to do something but out of pressure, we engage in it. We are led to believe that we want something but if we look within, we want to do something else. 

We have what we call unconscious push or nudging that we get from people surrounding us. These people can be our parents or family members who don’t have bad intentions. They suggest paths that we should take out of their love and care.

This unconscious nudging is a product of societal norms and stereotypes. Out of their good intentions, they think that a particular career or life path will make us happy. But the thing is, do they really know what will make us happy? Do we even know what will make us happy?

THE STORY OF OORBEE ROY

Oorbee Roy is a 47-year-old skateboarder who started skateboarding in her 40s. She’s an Indian mom of two living in Toronto, Canada. Oorbee is a social media sensation known as Aunty Skates.

The reason why she started skateboarding in her 40s was that it wasn’t seen as an acceptable thing to do for an Indian girl or woman. By the time Oorbee turned 40, she developed the courage to brush aside what other people will think. 

She’s now creating a movement that shows people what happens when we start defying stereotypes. Oorbee is on various social media platforms encouraging people to follow their dreams. 

What Oorbee is doing is inspiring people that there’s no need to wait for the perfect time to pursue your passion. She wants us to save time and focus on the things that will make us happy and will give us a sense of purpose. 

TWEET

“We are where we are, it is what is, now, what do we do?”#chasingdreams

“The if's will twist you up and prevent you from moving forward.”#chasingdreams

QUOTE

“The thing about societal norms and stereotypes is it's everywhere and in almost everything.”

THE GLOBAL PRESSURE OF HAVING IT ALL TOGETHER BY 30

The world, media, and the pressure from people make us think that we should our lives together when we reach 30. It’s like saying that we have to follow a rigid model of how we should live our lives. The typical scenario of we have to go to college, get a degree, get a job, get married and have kids. If you achieve all these things by the age of 30, you’ve hit a bonus point. 

People make these as indicators of true success. But the plan stops there, what happens after you get married or have kids? This framework makes us believe that our lives stop the moment we acquire all this, and we’re stuck in waiting time till death. 

Around the early 1900s people think that this is the only formula for happiness, no one even bothers to ask what makes us happy. The sad reality is, we have accepted this norm and nobody dared to challenge it. 

Aimee mentioned that she and her sisters have been getting pressured to get married by the age of 21. She added, “as I was young, I truly believe in arrange marriage system, it worked for my parents, my grandparents, and I’ve seen so many happy and healthy marriages from them.”  

For Aimee, arrange marriage is like blind dating when you’re ready to get married. As she got older, people made her believe that there was something wrong with her because she didn’t get married. Other people were quick to judge that maybe it was because of her personality, body type, or she was too career-oriented.  

Aimee said, “it was all on me when maybe that wasn’t the plan for me at that time.” But nobody thought about that. Aimee thought she was failing in life because she didn’t follow the norm.

When Aimee was around 26 years old she left what people thought was her dream job at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center. Although it was an amazing job, and she was surrounded by amazing people, Aimee felt that it wasn’t the right fit for her.

Aimee listened to her gut and told her parents that she was not meant for that job. They were in disbelief and this is because our parents have a different notion of what happiness is. For them, happiness is either getting a job in government or being in a palace where we don’t have to worry about money. 

Our parents’ biggest fear is to see us struggling and hurting. They want us to be stable instantly. They fail to engrave to us that life is all about a fight. We have to fight for what we want. By putting a timeline in our lives, we struggle to conform even though we know in our hearts that it’s not what we want.

TWEET

“A parent's biggest fear is you struggling and hurting.” #chasingdreams

“You have to live your life to the fullest.” #chasingdreams

“Life is about figuring it out.” #chasingdreams

“The world is full of possibilities, there is no limit to what you can do.” #chasingdreams

QUOTE

“People want you to be happy, the only thing is, their idea of happiness is what others are telling them.”

“You have to fight for your dreams, fight to figure out what you want.”

“It will not be easy, but it will be worthwhile.”

WHY WE NEED TO BE TRUE TO OURSELVES

With all the outside pressure that we’re experiencing, it can get confusing to figure out who we really are and what we really want. Aimee’s advice is, “you have to be true to yourself, don’t let other people tell you what is normal or right.”

There are things in life that we are not prepared for, but we have to deal with them. There are also things that we have to figure out on our own because that’s just how life is. You have to assess your situation, not what others perceive but what you know is true.

Upon evaluating our real circumstances, we can make decisions that will benefit our life. Figure out what is right for you. Aimee states that she wants people to feel empowered, so they can pass this on to their children. 

Teaching the next generation that they are in charge of their life and life skills empowers them to live the life they want. Life is too short to not pursue your dreams just because other people don’t think the same way as you.

TWEET

“There are things that life will not prepare you for.” #chasingdreams

“There are things that we have to figure out on our own, that's what life is.” #chasingdreams

“You have to figure out what is right for you.” #chasingdreams

QUOTE

“You have to be true to yourself. Don't let other people tell you what is normal or what is right.”

PUTTING YOUR OWN HAT FIRST

You may think that you are obligated to have everything figured out when you reach a certain age, you don’t. Aimee affirms, “life is crazy, what’s important is that you start today with living your life authentically and make the hard decisions.”

Ask yourself, “am I happy with where I am right now?” “are the choices I made my own?” Aimee states that it’s okay for people to give you their opinions or suggestions but “the problem is when you adopt them as your own.”

We wear multiple hats, we can either be a parent, an office worker, or a boss, Aimee advises “you have to put your own hat first.” 

This means that we have to take care of our own desires, passions and start figuring out what exactly we want and need and execute it. When we do this, we begin living as ourselves, and it helps enhance all the other hats we have in life. 

The significance of taking care of ourselves streams down to the next generation. They’ll look at you as a role model and believe that putting yourself first is the right thing to do. 

TWEET

“You have to put your own hat first. You have to take care of you.” #chasingdreams

“At the end of your life, it's just you.” #chasingdreams

“It may not be easy, but there is a way for you to follow your passions and help everybody else.” #chasingdreams

“Life is what you make it.” #chasingdreams

QUOTE

“What's important is you start today with living your life authentically, making the hard decisions, and take a step back and figure out if you're happy.”

Aimee’s Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take – 

To fully recognize what you want in life, you have to challenge societal norms and stereotypes that you are facing. Figure out what you want, live the life you desire, and not the life others have defined for you. 

OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE

• [01:05] Aimee’s realizations about life
• [01:55] Being a victim of societal norms and stereotypes
• [02:42] The consequences of unconscious nudging
• [03:37] The story of Oorbee Roy
• [05:39] The global pressure of having it all together by 30
• [10:07] Life is all about ups and downs
• [12:35] Why shouldn’t have a timeline to adhere to
• [15:58] Why we need to be true to ourselves
• [20:25] The benefits of pivoting 
• [21:22] Famous people who got successful at a later age
• [23:55] Put your own hat first

Resources Mentioned

• JAM & Philly - Finding Our Outer Voice
• Auntyskates
• auntyskates

FAVORITE QUOTES

1. “Life is trying things, figuring it out, and going back and forth.”
2. “The thing about societal norms and stereotypes is it's everywhere and in almost everything.”
3. “People want you to be happy, the only thing is, their idea of happiness is what others are telling them.”
4. “It will not be easy, but it will be worthwhile.”
5. “You have to fight for your dreams, fight to figure out what you want.”
6. “You have to be true to yourself. Don't let other people tell you what is normal or what is right.”
7. “Amazing things happen when you don't let fear and the expectations of others hold you back.”
8. “What's important is you start today with living your life authentically, making the hard decisions, and take a step back and figure out if you're happy.”

TWEETS YOU CAN USE

• “The if's will twist you up and prevent you from moving forward.” #chasingdreams
• “A parent's biggest fear is you struggling and hurting.” #chasingdreams
• "The world is full of possibilities, there is no limit to what you can do." #chasingdreams
• "At the end of your life, it's just you." #chasingdreams
• “It may not be easy, but there is a way for you to follow your passions and help everybody else.” #chasingdreams
• “Life is what you make it.” #chasingdreams
• “The world needs you at your most authentic self.” #chasingdreams
• “Live the life you want.” #chasingdreams

https://youtu.be/Kvrb_4WMXrw