Jordana’s officially in the burbs. Welcome back to Long Island, betch. The trio is all together IRL and begin today’s episode with Jordana offering Sami & Aleen her review of Air, giving it a solid 4.25 out of 5. They dive into discussing the hottest new PR relationship in Hollywood: Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet. Then they wrap up with some reality TV tea: debriefing Summer House drama between Lindsay and Danielle, and the latest on Vanderpump Rules. To close things out, we find out the casting list for ‘3 Betch Movers.’

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It’s a somber episode this week, but we have a great grief guy for you… well, actually two great grief Betches to recap Episode 4 of the final season of Succession. Sami and Aleen have their Tom Wam lip balm on, and share their thoughts about everything that happened leading up to the pivotal board vote. They give their 5-Waystar Earnings Report review, including their favorite moments from the week, and share a myriad of memorable quotes. Plus, they get to the bottom of Logan’s underlined-in-pencil wishes, speculate about Shiv’s pregnancy storyline, and forecast what will happen next.

Thanks for listening… but you might wanna put down that fish taco, you’re getting your melancholy everywhere. Be sure to tune in every single Monday for the rest of this season of Succession to hear more recaps!

Read Sami's written recap here: “Succession” Episode 4 Recap: Who Deserves To Fuck Off This Week?

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Ciao, betch! Sami is coming at you live from Italia, with Aleen back home. They wish Tay Tay (all too) well following her recent split from Joe Alwyn. Then they share their hot takes on Tom Sandoval’s recent tell-all interview that no one asked for… however, we’re salivating for the reunion. They wrap up with the internet’s latest viral obsessions: Ben Affleck speaking fluent Spanish — who knew — and a reaction on Harry’s confirmed attendance for King Charles’ coronation. It’s pretty obvious who we’re sending to the Caymans this week…. Howie Mandel.

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Somebody get me the best airplane-medicine-expert in the world, because Sami and Aleen have a lot to discuss and the plane is circling. Episode 3 of the final season of Succession was a memorable one, following the bombshell moment when **spoilers ahead** the family patriarch died on his private plane and everybody was left scrambling. How will things shake out now that the true meaning of “Succession” is in full swing – dramaturgically speaking – and what will happen to the family now that Logan is gone? Plus, they share the standout quotes of the week, talk about the wedding-that-wasn’t (but actually kinda was), and forecast some major predictions for the rest of the season. 

Thanks for listening… You make us feel like we caught a foul ball at Yankee Stadium. Be sure to tune in every single Monday for the rest of this season of Succession to hear more recaps!

Read Sami's written recap here: “Succession” Episode 3 Recap: Who Deserves To Fuck Off This Week?

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Is anything sweeter than getting out plans at the last second? Maybe having someone come over and cook your holiday dinner for you. Aleen, Sami, and Jordana tell us all about their Passover dinner plans – sorry we couldn’t make it – and why Gefilte fish deserves more respect. The Barbie trailer has everyone talking, and we’re in… but is the movie going to live up to the memes? They talk about the reasons Barbie is going viral, and share the scoop on why Amy Schumer dropped out of the project. Then they go deep on the latest Scandoval news – Schwartz tried to do damage control on WWHL last night – but something isn’t quite adding up. They send Sandy’s business partner on a one way trip to the Caymans so he can try to get his stories straight.

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Anyone up for some karaoke? The final season of Succession continues with episode 2, and Sami & Aleen – just a couple of regular joes – are recapping it all. The siblings are still scheming, Conn0r’s rehearsal dinner awaits (sorry we’re late, the chopper took off without us), and Logan returns to his ATN roots to inspire the pirate crew. Plus, they dive into Logan’s karaoke room apology as the Gojo deal looms. Finally, they close the show with a round of “We Rate You” featuring their Number One Boy and some deeply uncomfortable moments - Kerry’s audition tape continues to haunt our focus group nightmares.

Thanks for listening… we hear for you. Be sure to tune in every single Monday for the rest of this season of Succession to hear more recaps!

Read Sami's written recap here: “Succession” Episode 2 Recap: Who Deserves To Fuck Off This Week?

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We’ve got a lot to catch up on, betch. Most importantly, how much does a good haircut cost these days? Aleen, Sami, and Jordana begin with their hot takes on Hollywood’s hottest new couples: Harry Styles & EmRata, and Selena Gomez & Zayn Malik are both making headlines. After that, they break down Gwyneth Paltrow’s memeable court case, and while on the topic of problematic blondes, they share their thoughts on Reese Witherspoon’s divorce. Aleen wraps up with her debrief on Daisy Jones and the 6 — should we be watching? — and they tell us where the new season of White Lotus will take plus. Terry Sanderson (aka the guy who’s suing Gwyneth) will be sent to the Caymans, because he’ll probably be paying her legal fees anyway.

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Why is everybody so f*cking happy? Probably because Succession is finally back! Which is why Sami and Aleen are *rummaging* through the much anticipated season premier and recapping it all. They’ve already watched it 3 times – one for each Roy kid, unless you count Connor and his 1% – and they have a lot to say. From sad birthdays and “disgusting brothers,” to bidding wars and breakups, they dump out a ludicrously capacious bagful of memorable moments. Then they close with a “We Rate You” featuring Nan Pierce’s finest lines, Greg’s countless faux pas, and a look ahead to next week. 

Thanks for listening… You’re our pal. You’re our best pal. Be sure to tune in every single Monday for the rest of this season to hear each Succession episode recap!

Read Sami's written recap here: “Succession” Recap: Who Deserves To F*ck Off This Week?

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All 3 Betches are back together IRL and kick off this week’s episode with a spirited debate about how women are addressed VS men. Gals? Girls? Ladies? You tell us. The first bit of celebri-tea starts off on a sad note, with the 3 wishing Amanda Bynes well following her recent psychotic episode. Afterwards they dive into the latest VPR/Scandoval updates– the tea is boiling. Right after, Jordana does a quick Last of Us finale recap now that Aleen’s back, and then all of them debrief the latest nepobaby that is Sofia Coppola’s daughter Romy, and how she attempted to charter her father’s helicopter for funsies. Lastly they share their hot takes on MGK and Megan Fox’s split. And who’s going to the Caymans? Raquel for her cringe interview outside the nail salon. It seems only fair since we’ve sent Sandoval multiple times.. She’ll be sent on the Coppola’s helicopter. 

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We hear... for you. Season 4 of Succession is almost here and Sami & Aleen are going to be recapping every single episode... so why not start where things left off? In this ATN Betches ep, they dive into the finale of Season 3 (titled: All the Bells Say) to refresh your memory on the big cliffhanger, who committed the latest betrayal, and what we think may be coming next. They rate the episode on a scale of 1 to 5 Waystars, recap all the pivotal scenes, and share their favorite quotes from the episode. Then they close things out with "We Rate You" by ranking the week's Number One Boy, who's Out of the Will, and which character is Boar on the Floor.

Be sure to tune in every single Monday for the rest of this season of Succession to hear more recaps!

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