You've had your annual bath, you've slicked your hair back. You've put on a shirt that once met an iron. You my friend, are ready to go out on the town!

Or wait, perhaps you're wracked with nerves about dancing in public? What if you spill a drink on a tough guy on your way back from the overpriced bar? This night couldn't get any worse.

Right, here's what you do. Go the bathroom, ignore the man with the perfume and bin bag. Get your headphones in and listen to Rick and Paul. They're only healing A Man's Night Out! That's you, yes, you! Oh you'll soon be free my friend.

You're welcome.