On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talked with her close friend and colleague, Alice Forrester, the CEO of Clifford Beers Community Health Partners.

Alice discussed how growing up as a teenager in the 1970s, she was aware of the culture shift that was occuring at that time in our country, and how her father struggled with this changing dynamic. 

Alice recalled often being told she was wrong by her father, about certain opinions she was formulating at that time, and how that did not leave her unscathed. 

Alice and Robin unpacked Alice's feelings of being "wrong" and how that has impacted her adult life.

Alice shared a deeply personal account of when her nephew recently passed away at a young age from COVID and how she felt she couldn't say the right words to comfort her sister in her grief, and how this stirred up deeply emotional feelings of not being good enough. 

Alice also shared that at the same time, her marriage was going through a difficult time, and how she was being gaslighted by her partner regarding their relationship. 

Robin and Alice worked through the the idea that these multiple experiences of gaslighting can cause you to think that maybe you are wrong, and to second guess your own reasoning. Often, giving yourself space allows you to gain a better understanding of what is happening and spurs you to change or get out of the gaslighting situation. 

Alice shared how understanding what gaslighting means and what to look for, has helped her in raising her daughters in these unsettled times during the pandemic and post pandemic, when we  often are told to believe things that are constantly changing and things that we know are not accurate. 

To read the full transcript of this episode and to listen to other episodes, please head over to robinstern.com.  And don't forget to leave a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast! 

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with Ian Nichols, co-host of It's Only A Podcast - a horror movie review show. 

Robin has been a guest on several of Ian's podcast episodes that explore gaslighting in horror movies. 

Ian shares his personal experience with gaslighting, both within a romantic relationship as well as with his parents. 

Ian describes himself as an empath and a very emotional person who often cries during emotional moments in his life. 

As a child, Ian's parents instilled the thought in himself that he "cried too much."  His childhood was marred by abuse, an alcoholic mother, an often distant father, and parents who continually told him he was too sensitive. 

Growing up, Ian felt he had to hide the emotional side of himself in friendships and relationships, and he often used humor to deflect away from getting "too emotional."

This ultimately led to Ian falling into a deep depression. 

Ian also shares about a relationship in which his partner was from a different culture that didn't value feminity and vulnerablity.  This again made Ian feel that something was wrong with him. 

Thankfully, Ian was able to work through these issues with a therapist and discovered that he was involved in gaslighting situations with both his parents and in his relationship. 

Robin and Ian discuss the importance of having a strong support network to help you process painful interactions with gaslighters...and the value of "healthy emotion snacks!"

To read the full transcript of this episode and to hear other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.  And please leave a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast!

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with real-life sisters, psychotherapist Abby Rodman and former beauty executive now life coach Julie Howard, co-hosts of the popular podcast Sisters Cracking Up. 

From their podcast website:

"...we've been through a few things. If nothing else, life has a way of teaching us about balance -- and we've both had our share of blessings and challenges.

We've laughed and cried our way through parenting, empty nests, managing adult children, aging and body image concerns, aging parents, and menopause. We've struggled through divorce and second marriage (Abby), career transition and reinvention (Julie), depression, anxiety, and the frustrations and heartbreak of dealing with family members with mental health and addiction issues.

But, through it all, we've laughed until we've cried many more times than we can count and have held each other up when everything else seemed to be falling down around us.

We feel extraordinarily lucky to have one another. That's why we created Sisters Cracking Up. We believe everyone needs a sister (biological or otherwise) to share in our joys and successes -- and to help right our ships (or, frankly, our shit) when storms hit.

Our podcast is a labor of love, sisterhood, and curiosity. In it, we look for answers to the questions and issues we face in midlife and know you do too. We interview really smart, engaging, and often funny people and we offer our decades of expertise in psychology, relationships, beauty, and well-being to the mix as well. With every episode, our goal is to listen, learn, share, laugh, and connect without judgment or expectation -- as any good sister would."

Abby and Julie open up about a devastating gaslighting incident that occured in their family as young girls and continued over many years. A stunning secret about their father threatend to tear their family apart and forever changed not only their relationship with their father, but also impacted the lives of their other family members as well. 

The willingness of Abby and Julie to be vulnerable with Robin about this gaslighting event, and Robin's sensitivity and understanding in handling this very sensitve conversation is a wonderful example of how important it is to find someone to share life's difiicult moments with.  

This is an episode you won't want to miss! 

To read the full transcript of this episode and to hear other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. 

And be sure to leave a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast! 

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out, a national bestseller that "ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying."

Rachel is also the author of Odd Girl Speaks Out, The Curse of the Good Girl, and Enough As She Is.

Rachel is a "master facilitator and executive coach, she works for the world’s most innovative companies to design and deliver programs for women’s leadership development and gender equity.  She is renowned for translating social science research into accessible strategies with authenticity and humor, while creating a safe space to explore uncomfortable topics. Rachel serves on the faculty of the Google School for Leaders and is an associate with the firm Cultivating Leadership. After co-founding the national nonprofit Girls Leadership, she led the Phoebe Lewis Leadership Program at Smith College. Her writing has appeared in the The New York Times and Harvard Business Review, among many other publications. An ABC News Contributor for Good Morning America, Rachel is a recognized thought leader in the national media. She is a proud gay parent and lives in Western Massachusetts with her daughter and two rescue dogs."

Rachel and Robin discuss the inherrent gaslighting that occurs in bullying situations, in particular with girls ensnared in a dysfunctional friendship in which they are the target of a perpetrator who drags them along in the realtionship by gaslighting them, telling them that "everything is fine," while continuing to bully them. 

Rachel also touches on the changing role of women in the workplace, and the institutional and organizational bias that many women continue to face, that often manifests as gaslighting.  Often, organizations want to protect the norms while at the same time protecting their reputations as a "meritocratic" workplace. 

Rachel and Robin discuss the dynamic of how gaslighters often continue to gaslight becasue it works to control the gaslightee, and the gaslightee can often break free once they are able to objectively look at the situation and trust their own thoughts and actions. 

Rachel more recently has begun working with men within organizations to help them identify the hidden biases that affect how they interact with women in the workplace. As Rachel says, "most men want to do the right thing, they just don't know how to do it."

To read the full transcript of this episode and to hear other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. 

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with recording artist TUCKER about his career, his family, and the relationship that led him to write his hit song 'Can't Help Myself,'(with a cameo speaking performance by Robin Stern!) that explains the emotions involved in a relationship in which he felt he might be gaslighting himself. 

As TUCKER says during the interview, "music is the unversal language," and music can bring people from different backgrounds together through connection. 

TUCKER explains that effective pop music can put so much emotion into a catchy tune and can help communicate something that we're feeling. 

TUCKER describes the relationship that caused him to write 'Can't Help Myself' as a "situationship" in which one person isn't sure what the other person wants and what they say is often not what they do. 

In this type of relationship, a person might start thinking that it might be their fault. It becomes a choice between trusting words and trusting actions. 

TUCKER understands firsthand the importance of transferring pain and vulnerability to music and art. 

His mission is: "How do we take these experiences and reflect them back in a  musical world of 2 minute songs to go a little deeper."

Robin and TUCKER discuss the importance of owning where you are, especially in this social media world of perfect images, and the pressure of being a musician in a streaming world where numbers are the driving metric of "success."

To read the full transcript and to access other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.  And don't forget to leave a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast! 

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with Annabelle Stone (real name changed to protect her identity) about an all too common occurence - gaslighting in marriage. 

Annabelle shares her story in the hopes that listeners can learn the signs of gaslighting in marriage and relationships. 

Annabelle was introduced to her husband by a trusted common friend, and she felt very confident in her attraction to him.  He was a very successful surgeon with a wonderful reputation.  All seemed perfect - until it wasn't. 

As the marriage evolved, Annabelle began to see his "mask fall off." 

Her husband became very controlling as the marriage continued, and began to tell common friends unkind things behind her back. 

Robin and Annabelle discuss the red flags that anyone in a gaslighting relationship can be on the lookout for - and the importance of not ignoring them! 

To read the full transcript of this episode and to hear other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. 

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with Tami Burdick about her journey of self-advocacy in which she worked closely with her doctors to diagnose and cure a rare inflammatory breast disease.  

Tami's book, Diagnosis Detective: Curing Granulomatous Mastitus  is a:

"memoir is about how one woman was cured of a chronic inflammatory breast disease known as Granulomatous Mastitis, by her own advocacy, independent extensive research, due diligence, and discovering a pathology test which finally led to a cause to her disease. The author shares her private details of her own year-and-a-half journey and obstacles she endured to finally reach remission by curing her disease. Other women also share their unique experiences with battling the various types of the same traumatic disease."

Tami and Robin also discuss Tami's very personal experience of medical gaslighting within her immediate family, and the current struggle to get comprehensive care within the medical industry. 

While Tami's experience with the medical community required her to provided self-advocacy and ultimately led to  her being directly involved in her own disease diagnosis, her specific situation most likely did not rise to the level of gaslighting. 

But her experience showcases the need for patients to do their own research, and be their own advocate, especially when facing difficult diagnoses. 

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating and review!

To read the full transcript of this episode and to listen to other episodes, head over to robinstern.com! 

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with Dr. George Bonanno, Professor of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University. Dr. Bonanno is the author of two amazing books - The End of Trauma and The Other Side of Sadness. 

From Dr. Bonanno's website : 

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern interviews Alyssa Haray about generational gaslighting and how Alyssa was able to identify the gaslighting in her family and break the cycle.

Alyssa discusses how interacting with the mother of her boyfriend, and watching him interact with his mother, showed her what a normal parent/child relationship should be, and how this experience changed how she interacted with her own mother and grandmother to break the cycle of gaslighting in her life. 

Robin outlines the typical stages of gaslighting - 1) Don't believe 2) Defending 3) Depressed.  Typically as a child you are exposed to all three of these feelings  and often bounce between them, causing trust in yourself to be undermined. 

Robin and Alyssa also talk about  the importance of setting boundaries with a gaslighting parent, and having others in your life to support you outside of family relationships. 

Alyssa very eloquently talks about how she understands that her mother is the product of her own upbringing and isn't in a place where she can recognize the gaslighting.  Also, Alyssa and Robin discuss the emotional struggle that Alyssa has gone through to get to a place where she would feel comfortable having children of her own, and her fear of not being able to break the cycle of gaslighting. 

This is an insightful and emotional episode that is a must listen for anyone who has experienced generational gaslighting. 

For the full transcript of this episode as well as to hear other episodes and subscribe, please head over to robinstern.com!  

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern interviews Michelle McQuaid, founder of The Wellbeing Lab, "a benefit-led organization...passionate about energizing and equipping people to care for their wellbeing even when they’re struggling so we can help you to build thriving teams, workplaces, schools, and communities." 

Michelle explains that harassment is the #3 reason people burn out at work, and gaslighting plays a part in that!

As a way to battle this burnout, Michelle discusses the importance of the 4 Factors For Leaders - Compassion with boundaries; Appreciation; Responsibility; and Emotional Wisdom. 

She also recommends periodic safety checks within any organization by asking: What's working well? Where are our people struggling? What are we learning from the first two questions? And what do we want to do about that? 

Michelle and Robin dive deep into the ways in which organizations of any size can tackle harassment and gaslighting by "asking instead of mind reading," and not getting stuck on the "hump of politeness" (in other words - not "biting your tongue".) 

Michelle also recommends "no groaning and moaning."  Rather "dare and share!" And no pointing of fingers.  Judgement is bad.  Curiosity is good. 

If you're looking for amazing insight into how organizations can thrive in any environment, then this epiosde is a must listen!

To see the full transcript of this episode and to check out other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. 

On this episode Dr. Robin Stern talks with Dr. Paige Sweet, a Sociologist at The University of Michigan, doing work on gender and sexuality, with a specialty in studying domestic violence. 

In her research and the interviews she conducted for her book, The Politics of Surviving: How Women Navigate Domestic Violence and its Aftermath (2021) Dr. Sweet noticed an almost universal reporting of gaslighting within the dysfunctional relationships. This led her to write the article, The Sociology of Gaslighting in The American Sociological Review. 

Robin and Paige discuss gaslighting from both the psychological and sociological perspective, and how those two areas of study overlap and complement one another.  Dr. Sweet points out that gaslighting as a sociological phenomenon, often includes gender inequality as well as other social inequalities, such as race and domestic abuse. 

To read the full transcript of this episode and to hear other episodes, head over to robinstern.com!  

Has the remote working phenomenon spurred by the pandemic caused an increase in gaslighting in the workplace?  

On this episode, Robin talks with Dr. Heidi Brooks, Senior Lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Yale University, about this intersting phenomenon. 

Many workplaces instituted a work-from-home policy during the recent COVID-19 pandemic.  Now that more offices are opening back up, many employees are still eager to work from home. While the work environment continues to undergo change, there may be an increase in incidences of gaslighting due to the way that we now work together. 

Robin and Heidi explore how someone in the workplace can "regain their reality" while navigating a work-from-home world, and how employers can create transparency and psychologically safe workplaces, so that emplyees will not be subject to gaslighting.  

How can organizations become gaslight free zones?  Check out the episode to find out! 

For the full transcript of this episode and to hear other episodes, head over to robinstern.com. 

Are you involved in a gaslighting situation and feel like you're all alone? Are you having trouble breaking away from your gaslighter? Robin's guest on this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Lucy Rose, found herself in exactly this situation. 

Robin discusses with Lucy how, looking back, Lucy was experiencing signs of gaslighting as early as the very first date with her then boyfriend.  Struggling with insecurity, and existing family issues, Lucy found herself very vulnerable to gaslighting. 

It took many years of being in a controlling relationship with a partner who was verbally abusive and dictated almost every decision she made, before Lucy was able to find the inner strength to break away. 

On this episode, Robin works through the underlying feelings that caused Lucy to be a victim of gaslighting, the signs of gaslighting that kept building up within her relationship, and ultimately the insight to recognize what was happening and the strength to take control of her life back from her gaslighter. 

Lucy's story will inspire listeners to know that they are not alone, and they can stand up for their reality. 

For more information and to see the full transcript of this episode, please visit www.robinstern.com

Does unintentional gaslighting exist? Are people born gaslighters? How do parents gaslight their children without either one of them knowing it? We’ll dig deeper in this episode.

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Robin talks with Psychology Today’s Hara Marano. Hara is the Editor at Large of Psychology Today and writes the magazine's advice column, Unconventional Wisdom.

Her newest book, A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, examines the contemporary culture of parenting. It grew out the groundbreaking Psychology Today article A Nation of Wimps, which focuses on the rise of psychological distress among America's youth.

Through her work and research with Psychology Today, Hara has been able to understand the pulse of the American public with relation to the gaslighting phenomenon.

During this episode Robin and Hara discuss concepts of inadvertent or accidental gaslighting versus intentional gaslighting as well as red flags related to the two different versions.  Robin and Hara also share examples of gaslighting scenarios between parents and children and how seemingly innocent conversations can walk the fine line between “good parenting” and gaslighting.

For more information and to see the full transcript of this episode, please visit www.robinstern.com

On this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Robin talks with New York based divorce and family law attorney Evan Schein.  Evan is the Head of Litigation at Berkam Bottger Newman & Schein LLP .

As stated on Evan's website - "Evan has helped clients find post-divorce happiness and build successful financial lives, advocated to protect children and fought for the rights of victims of domestic violence. He has learned more than a few things about family, money, and the law, things that every spouse or parent in America should know. As a divorce lawyer in America's unofficial capital city, Evan's been lucky to meet fascinating people and work with top experts in fields like finance, trust and estates, real estate, sports, entertainment, psychology, and more."

Robin and Evan discuss the role gaslighting plays in divorce cases and Evan's first hand experience over the past 15 years of witnessing the impact of gaslighting on marital relationships.

Delving into how gaslighting can have a negative impact on a marriage and ultimately become a significant factor in an individual seeking a divorce, Evan and Robin explore the empathy and compassion necessary to effectively support and protect a client during a divorce proceeding - especially one that involves gaslighting. 

For more information and to see the full transcript of this episode, please visit robinstern.com

Gaslight (/ˈɡaslīt/). Verb. Manipulating someone by psychological means into questioning their own reality.

The Gaslight Effect podcast is hosted by Dr. Robin Stern, co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of the best-selling book, The Gaslight Effect. On her podcast, Robin helps listeners identify gaslighting, to escape the destructive dynamic and reclaim their reality.

On this episode, join Dr. Robin Stern as she explains what the term Gaslighting means, why she decided to create The Gaslight Effect podcast, and what listeners can expect on future episodes.