Blessed • Vulnerable • Free

In 2008, after twenty years of self-sabotage and playing Russian Roulette with her health, Bunmi Abo-aba finally reached burnout. Since the mask fell, she has worked tirelessly, plotting a path to her recovery and making her fair share of mistakes. But Bunmi is truly a phoenix who has risen from those ashes more than once. Today she’s beaten both food and alcohol addiction and overcome traumas, divorce, and triggers and now leads a beautiful, healthy, and full life. Connect with Bunmi on her website, Instagram or TikTok.

Episode Takeaways:

• Dr. Bunmi is a dentist who was raised to be a full-on perfectionist. 
• “I love you” didn’t accompany anything less than perfect.
• She discovered alcohol at age 12.
• Alcohol made her feel confident and raised her self-esteem. She said it was her new best friend.
• Food is a comfort for so many people especially those who lack love. 
• Russian Roulette was essentially throwing caution to the wind and continuing on a dangerous path of unhealthy life choices.
• By 2008 Bunmi was sick and tired of the consequences of her “Russian Roulette.”
• Culturally “strong Black women” don’t trust the outside world and don’t ask for help.
• Eventually, Bunmi had to embrace vulnerability to fully break down in order to rebuild.
• Accepting help and being honest reminds us that we are not alone.
• Bunmi says she’s in recovery rather than recovered because it’s always a work in progress.
• After she began recovery it was time to, finally, get to know herself.
• Next up was her spiritual journey. After the first session with a Shaman Bunmi finally felt supported.
• Feeling supported brought massive curiosity and an eventual complete life shift.
• Forgiving herself has been a serious part of her healing journey.
• As a parent, Bunmi tries to be the guide and love them without extreme discipline. 
• Recovery gave her freedom and bravery - she was able to see choices and try new things.
• She is now a recovery coach that helps others move through their own, painful, journey.
• Future Life Progression: Finding your best future self while in recovery.
• Gratitude is Bunmi’s favorite way to celebrate but also connecting with friends and family. She also loves to buy herself a new crystal when she’s celebrating - that anchors her to a specific event.
• Charity: Water Aid - water is life!

If you’ve been inspired, touched, entertained, or motivated by this or any of Heather Vickery’s content you can “say thanks” by buying her a virtual coffee!

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Ambitious • Creative • Determined

L’Oreal Thompson Payton was a girl with big dreams. Now she’s a woman who’s achieving those dreams and rewriting what it means to be successful. The “Stop Waiting for Perfect” author joins The Brave Files to share some painful, honest, and ultimately beautiful truths about what it’s like to be a recovering perfectionist facing real-world challenges and choosing progress over perfection and self-love.

Top Takeaways

• Writing a book is an arduous process.
• L’Oreal was committed to traditional publishing due to her own perfectionism and stubbornness. It offered a vetted path that she deeply desired. We get it!
• “Stop waiting for perfect” is about overcoming imposter syndrome and perfectionism. Writing it has been a personal masterclass and crash course in letting go of perfectionism.
• Procrastination is my brand of perfectionism.
• Deadlines are the best - external accountability.
• Writing the book was, in many ways, harder than caring for a newborn baby.
• Being a writer means everything to L’Oreal. It is per purpose and passion.
• It’s ok to be whatever type of mom you are - you don’t have to parent the way everyone else does.
• L’Oreal grew up living teen magazines but never saw herself represented. She knew she wanted to be part of changing that!
• There is a lot of PTSD surrounding infertility.
• We are going to celebrate everything with our baby in every way!
• She felt a lot of shame for the parenting moments that were hard AF because of the fertility struggles.
• What do you now know is true? I AM ENOUGH!
• Celebration is hard and L’Oreal would like to get better at it. She’s always hitting the goal and on to the next one. This does her a disservice.
• Infusing Black Girl Magic into the health and wellness world is a deep passion and so important.
• Charity: Free Root Operation fighting gun violence in Black and Brown communities.
• Connect with L’Oreal and read her newsletter, LT in the City.
• Pre-order Stop Waiting For Perfect.

Let's connect ...

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Creative • Healing • Necessary

Trauma is passed down, via DNA, from generation to generation. And we’ve learned that it affects us in so many, previously unknown, ways. It’s something we know, conceptually, happens but we haven’t been able to really say how or why. Today’s guest, Sharon Tubbs, dives deep into this by writing about her family history, specifically her grandfather Israel Page in her new book “They Got Daddy.”

This candid and heart-centered conversation is one that helps bring healing and humanity to all of us, across whatever divides us. It’s honest, compassionate, and important.

Sharon Tubbs began her professional career as a newspaper reporter and editor. In a career that spanned seventeen years, she worked briefly for the Philadelphia Inquirer and then for the Tampa Bay Times. As a journalist, she covered various beats, including small-town government, local crime, and national religious issues. Today, Sharon is a writer, inspirational speaker, and the owner of Move Forward Communications. She’s also the director of a nonprofit organization that empowers underserved residents in Fort Wayne, Indiana, to live healthier lives.

TOP TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:

• Sharon felt called to write the story about her Grandfather’s experience in Alabama in the 1950s.
• They Got Daddy is about Sharon’s grandfather being kidnapped by the KKK when he dared to sue a white man in Alabama over a tragic accident that left him unable to work.
• Unless we tackle our history we are not truly able to heal.
• History allows us to speak truth, process, and heal.
• Not everyone wants to heal or dig through the trauma to get to the other side.
• The biggest surprise during this process was self-forgiveness.
• Being “colorblind” is basically a free pass to stick your head in the sand and pretend terrible things didn’t happen and are not, currently, happening.
• When people have to rearrange their life based on what might happen, it leads to internalized fear and trauma.
• Most of the pushback Sharon experiences is in the nonprofit community. 
• When we know better we are obligated to do better.
• Celebration for Sharon is relaxing and reading. Finding time to do what she wants!
• CHARITY: Health Visions Midwest 
• Connect with Sharon: www.sharontubbs.com, IG @sharontubbs 
• Get Sharon’s book, They Got Daddy.

If you’ve been inspired, touched, entertained, or motivated by this or any of Heather Vickery’s content you can “say thanks” by buying her a virtual coffee!

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Honest • Approachable • Connected

In a rare solo episode our host, Heather Vickery, shares her personal experience with vulnerability and fear - how it feels when they collide and how she faces and moves through it. This is a heart-centered, honest, and short episode from Heather's heart directly to yours. 

If you’ve been inspired, touched, entertained, or motivated by this or any of Heather Vickery’s content you can “say thanks” by buying her a virtual coffee!

Let's connect ...

Follow us on Instagram and connect with our host, Heather Vickery here.

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COURAGE • TENACITY • BRAVERY

Tune in as Heather chats with her Human Design Mentor, Kyla Derkach.

In 2017, I moved to Kyla Derkach to Spain from Canada entirely alone. She didn’t speak the language and had never even traveled there before. Kyla says she was lost at the time, but this adventure helped her find herself and, eventually, her husband. This also led to her starting her own business, Hatha Astro serving ambitious leaders worldwide, helping them align with their unique signature to create more income and impact through Human Design and Astrology.

Kyla's story is about learning who we really are, at a DNA level and then learning to TRUST who we really are.

Episode Takeaways:

• Studied initially business management but was always adventurous, loved to travel, and wasn’t afraid to travel alone.
• CBT Vietnam Documentary. Watch it here.
• Wine grapes tell a story about the culture.
• Kyla moved to Spain because she needed to learn a new language for her job.
• Learning Spanish was total immersion while teaching English to local children.
• Although Kyla had an interest in Spiritual work (Human Design and Astrology) it wasn’t front and center until she got to Spain.
• Eventually, hiding from her internal reality and pain caught up with her and she had to explore it.
• She “came out” of the spiritual closet in Spain.
• She had no idea where or how to start but felt a deep “yes” and went for it.
• Trusting the unknown and the path - it works.
• Through learning what doesn’t work we begin to understand what does work.
• Kyla grounds herself with a weighted blanket, a lavender eye pillow, and crystals and being still.
• It’s about devouring each moment with intention.
• Word of the year: Simplicity - Intentionality, minimalism, creating spaciousness physically and mentally, shorter to-do lists. Taking in simple nourishment.
• Celebration: Self-care, connection with others, spicey margarita.
• Just because the moon isn’t at its fullest expression doesn't mean it’s not there.
• CHARITY OF THE WEEK: PETA

Let's connect ...

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Broken • Process • Healing

Erin Dihel often found herself angry and frustrated as a kid because she lacked a tremendous amount of control over her life … Enter the idea that making peace with others (and then, consequently with herself) WAS within her control! Erin has a creative approach to making peace, finding creative ways to make things work, and how to enhance the human experience.

• Erin moved a lot due to her father’s job
• Felt big feelings, got really angry and took it out on her mom
• People pleasing is a form of manipulation 
• Humor was a way to connect but also a way to disassociate
• Humor was a way to be seen
• The process of healing takes a long time
• When Erin gets tense she asks herself “What do I need to put down? This is too heavy.”
• Every odd job and experience taught me something that lead to what I am doing right now. There’s always a lesson.
• Erin piloted an improv leadership program for United Airlines and that launched her business.
• The “great pause” was the first time Erin ever rested. It was a mess but also a gift.
• Even when business is slow - stay top of mind so you can be top of mind when people are ready.
• When a group of people take off their invisible masks and allow themselves to play, connect and be vulnerable it changes the world.
• It’s all about enhancing the human experience.
• Celebration: No Risk, No Champagne 
• CHARITY: Girl Forward and Girls Rock!
• Listen to The Improve It Podcast!
• Find her on Instagram or her website.
• BOOK RECOMMENDATION: “When the body says no”

If you’ve been inspired, touched, entertained, or motivated by this or any of Heather Vickery’s content you can “say thanks” by buying her a virtual coffee!

Let's connect ...

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Welcome to 2023! Heather Vickery shares a New Year's message and introduces you to the idea of "wintering."

Imagine what's possible if we, as humans, follow the path of nature rather than society.  Let's experiment.

If you’ve been inspired, touched, entertained, or motivated by this or any of Heather Vickery’s content you can “say thanks” by buying her a virtual coffee!

Let's connect ...

Follow us on Instagram and connect with our host, Heather Vickery here.

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Share your feedback by emailing heather@vickeryandco.com or via Instagram DM's.

 Respect • Autonomy • Grace

Justice is not always compassionate but there is still compassion at the root of our human existence. We may not be able to see the growth and change in the moment  - but it’s there.

The world has often made today’s Jule Arney feel less-than, wrong, and broken. As a Black, queer, neurodivergent person Jule has had to combat these external narratives that have, unwittingly, taken seed and rooted subconsciously.

The struggles that result from this type of lived experience cannot be understated and yet, Jule now lives an OUTLOUD LIFE that helps others see themself for the magic they are - AS IS and Jule helps these folks CHOOSE TO LIVE! Jule moved around a lot and had lots of different experiences.

Episode Takeaways

• Thankful for consistent parents who prioritized their children’s safety
• It’s a journey to be associated with beauty and believe it
• Church was a very important of Black culture but that meant being surrounded by homophobia
• It took Jule three times to come out to their parents
• Being rejected by their family, lead Jule to want to end their life.
• Jule is a lifelong “overachiever” who believed that if they were perfect in every other way, it would be enough.
• In 2006 Jule decided to take their boyfriend to prom and met great resistance but they did get to attend prom together. 
• Denying myself consistently drove Jule closer to ending 
• Always be a person who ask questions
• Rely on your social network and let people in
• Focus on the “small little things” that make you the wonderful person you are
• Celebration for Jule is spending quality time with friends
• CHARITY: The healing wellness foundation (in Pittsburgh)
• “The more I have allowed myself to step into the opulence of my truth, the more others around me have begun to see that same light within themselves.”
• “Be the person that you needed”
• "There is too much you have left to do, too much impact you will have for yourself, your community, the world."
• “I chose to know my truth. To know myself enough to demand respect from everyone else.”

CHANGE • QUESTIONS• BOUNDARIES

When TikTok brings us together. This week I'm chatting with Quinn The Eskimo (ok, that's not his *real* name but it's his NEW name and over here we respect folks name preferences!). Quinn joined me to talk about totally transforming his super religious, conservative life by changing one, somewhat, simple thing: Learning to ask questions. So many questions!

By embracing questions and being open to actually hearing the answers Quinn completely changed his life. He’s a teacher, leader, creator, and guide … he’s afraid but ready for whatever comes next. Connect with him directly via his website andon TikTok.

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

• Life is a series of seasons.
• Season One: His name was John and he was conservative.
• Stayed in a toxic relationship for a long time. Raised 8 kids.
• Parenting is such hard work - it becomes your entire identity!
• Started asking questions, as a conservative Christian, and things stopped adding up.
• Don’t just believe what you’re told. EXPLORE and learn for yourself!
• Travel and connecting with new people will open up your heart and mind.
• Change starts with admitting YOU were wrong (and will likely continue to make mistakes).
• Boundaries allow you to control who is invited into your life.
• Lack of control caused serious depression. It was time to surrender and start again, different, healither. 
• Quinn doesn’t want to push people away, he wants to attract them.
• Surround yourself with positive people who want to help you rise!
• Learn more, explore more, see more, have more conversations.
• It’s time to start to think about things in a different way.
• Question your privilege.
• It’s not that the things we have are bad, it’s that we evolve and change.
• The 5am club - it’s time for Quinn to “work” on himself.
• We have to envision what will happen in order to believe in the possibility and live into the vision.
• CELEBRATION:  food, nature, music
• Charity of the week: Goodwill - Their mission is to help people gain skills and get into the workforce.

If you’ve been inspired, touched, entertained, or motivated by this or any of Heather Vickery’s content you can “say thanks” by buying her a virtual coffee!

Let's connect ...

Follow us on Instagram and connect with our host, Heather Vickery here.

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Share your feedback by emailing heather@vickeryandco.com or via Instagram DM's.

Courageous • Centered • Responsibility 

We often think of fear as something that keeps us small and stuck - it can, in fact, do all of those things. But there’s also the flip side of fear - the empowering side - the brave side. This side of fear informs. It allows you to dig deep into yourself and find ways to heal, grow and prosper. Today I welcome Sarah Hagstrom Join us to talk about her journey through fear and learning to heal her own body through a mind-body approach. She’s  determined to make the world a healthier and happier place through her growing health coaching businesses with healthy bottom lines, helping folks establish strong foundations from the start.

Episode Highlights:

• Do the things that bring you joy, simply for the sake of joy.
• Don’t miss your joy opportunities! 
• Sarah grew up with a deep seeded fear of “who is going to take care of me? I have to take care of myself.”
• This fear caused lots of physical ailments.
• Documentary: Food matters - Changed Sarah’s life.
• Humans tend to become unconscious around food choices.
• Community can be created in a lot of ways. Seek those who can help you have the life you most desire.
• Any behavior (including eating) we do, constantly, as a coping mechanism is unhealthy. 
• Every human is different. What works for one person may not work for someone else.
• Just like everything else in life, reassessment is important.
• Don’t just “trust the experts.” You know yourself, trust yourself, and advocate for yourself.
• Stress and emotions that are left unattended show up as physical issues. Give words to your truth.
• Check out Journal Speak!
• All humans have mixed emotions. It’s ok - welcome them all.
• Our bodies heal when we give them the tools to heal - that is mind, body, and soul.
• Be compassionate to your fellow humans - you never know what they are experiencing 
• You don’t need to be working non-stop. It’s not about “doing the most” it’s about how you feel!
• My natural instinct is to use positive words. There’s real work in allowing all thoughts and feelings without judgment.

Connect with Sarah on her website or Instagram. And check out Journal Speak here.

LEARN ABOUT THE INCUBATOR!

If you’ve been inspired, touched, entertained, or motivated by this or any of Heather Vickery’s content you can “say thanks” by buying her a virtual coffee!

Let's connect ...

Follow us on Instagram and connect with our host, Heather Vickery here.

ORDER YOUR COPY OF F*CK FEARLESS - MAKING THE BRAVE LEAP TODAY, Click Here!

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Share your feedback by emailing heather@vickeryandco.com or via Instagram DM's.