Marriage just ain’t what it used to be. It’s evolved from a utilitarian arrangement ensuring survival and inheritance rights, to a gendered division between home and work, to a more modern agreement where people try, at least in theory, to help each other become their best selves. And for renowned marriage researcher, Eli Finkel, the idea of a best self and its place in marriage posed a bit of a conundrum.

Finkel picked up Sarah Bakewell’s book, At The Existentialist Café, because, after all, who better to help you understand the nature of selfhood than the existentialists? What he discovered completely changed his view of what it takes to be a person, how we decide who we are, and what that means for the institution of marriage as a whole.

Meet Outside the Book—a sibling podcast to Self? Help!—in which authors talk about life away from their desk to share experiences they hold dear, but have not yet committed to the page.

This episode, Alan Lightman—American physicist, writer, MIT & Harvard professor, and social entrepreneur—shares how he learned a new definition of health from the people of Cambodian village.

You can find links to show notes and transcripts of this episode at [https://www.blinkist.com/selfhelp]

Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/en/friends/] and typing in the code lightman. Let us know what you thought of this episode by emailing podcast@blinkist.com, or say hello on Twitter. Terence is at [@terence_mickey][5].

[2] https://www.blinkist.com/en/books/do-what-you-are/ [3]: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/self-help/id1453526088?mt=2 [4]: https://www.blinkist.com/friends/?v=lightman [5]: https://twitter.com/terence_mickey

What do you when you're exceeding all your goals and you’ve got everything you dreamed of, but you’re still not happy? Maybe you double down on the old dream and the magical world you thought it would unlock. Or maybe the real magic is in throwing up your hands, making a change, and saying “F&*% it.”

Sarah Knight, bestselling author of the No Fucks Given Guides, talks with Terence about quitting her dream job to pursue lasting fulfilment and the book that inspired her to say not to things she didn’t want to do, make more time for what she did want, and eventually, write the book that’s transformed the lives of millions of people.

You can find links to show notes and transcripts of this episode at [https://www.blinkist.com/selfhelp]

Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/en/friends/] and typing in the code knight. Let us know what you thought of this episode by emailing podcast@blinkist.com, or say hello on Twitter. Terence is at [@terence_mickey][5].

Sometimes love hurts—but when it hurts over and over again, we’ve got to ask the toughest question of them all: why? And why won’t it stop?

In this episode, NYT bestselling author Paula McLain tells Terence the story of a relationship with so many twists and turns it could have been lifted from the pages of a thriller. This episode touches on challenging themes like uneven parenting, abuse, ideals of affection, and the allure of toxic love in order to illuminate a path toward healing.

Listen to hear how—and why—McLain's ache for love led her into danger, and all about the book that helped her save herself.

You can find links to show notes and transcripts of this episode at [https://www.blinkist.com/selfhelp]

Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/en/friends/] and typing in the code McLain. Let us know what you thought of this episode by emailing podcast@blinkist.com, or say hello on Twitter. Terence is at [@terence_mickey][5].

Where do addicts belong? Pushed out on the fringes of society, or loved by those who can help? When the War on Drugs began, we made a choice for the former, and that choice has impacted millions of people—including NYT Bestselling Author, Johann Hari.

Watching his loved one struggle with addiction, Hari went looking for answers about why we treat addicts the way we do. What he discovered was the real story behind the War on Drugs in a book that predicted the future—decades before we got to where we are now.

Listen in as Johann Hari tells Terence about what it was like to discover that the destruction wrought by the War on Drugs never had to happen, what an alternative would look like, and how this new knowledge set Hari on a mission to humanize addiction.

Show notes and transcripts for this episode can be found at [http://www.blinkist.com/selfhelp]

Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/en/friends/] and typing in the code Hari. Let us know what you thought of this episode by emailing podcast@blinkist.com, or say hello on Twitter. Terence is at [@terence_mickey][5].

We learn early in life that being an extrovert is the best way to be. Later, we’re told that a few vaunted careers are the true definitions of success. And so, as an introvert who loved the world of imagination, bestselling author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Won't Stop Talking, Susan Cain, got a job as a Wall Street lawyer and adapted.

But this isn’t a story about fitting in. It’s the story of discovering who you really are when society’s expectations get thrown out the window.

Susan Cain shares with Terence her moments of quiet revolution in cafés and bookshops, and the book that helped her on her journey to becoming a writer. Hear how one person accepting her true self and pursuing the work she was made for has helped countless others around the world become who they were meant to be—and feel good about it, too.

You can find links to show notes and transcripts of this episode at [https://www.blinkist.com/selfhelp]

Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/en/friends/] and typing in the code cain. Let us know what you thought of this episode by emailing podcast@blinkist.com, or say hello on Twitter. Terence is at [@terence_mickey][5].

[2] https://www.blinkist.com/en/books/do-what-you-are/ [3]: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/self-help/id1453526088?mt=2 [4]: https://www.blinkist.com/friends/?v=cain [5]: https://twitter.com/terence_mickey

Self? Help! is the podcast for anyone who thought: Who am I? What the hell am I doing? How did I get here of all places? And then to figure it all out, you turned to a book. Because you’re that kind of person.

Your host is Moth Storyteller and creator of Memory Motel, Terence Mickey. He doesn't care from where you seek your guidance: It might be from Leo Tolstoy. It might be from Dr. Seuss. He believes that we cannot get enough help in this life and books are indeed magic.

His guests for Season 1 include, New York Times best-selling authors: Susan Cain, Johann Hari, Paula McLain, Sarah Knight and Eli Finkel. All five episodes will launch on March 21st. The topics in Season 1 vary from relationships to career to addiction, but in future seasons he will hone in on one topic: parenting, business, relationships, or anything you need help with that can be found in a book.