Today we welcome Gretchen Rubin, one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. She’s a highly acclaimed writer, having sold millions of copies of her New York Times bestselling books. Her podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, has more than 220 million downloads. As the founder of The Happiness Project, Gretchen has helped create an ecosystem of imaginative products and tools to help people become happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. Her latest book is called Life in Five Senses.

In this episode I talk to Gretchen Rubin about connecting to the world through our five senses. Our fast-paced, modern world keeps us constantly moving, making us feel disconnected from other people and our surroundings. Gretchen shares unconventional ways we can re-experience the world through seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, and touching. She believes that tuning into life’s simple pleasures allows us to live each day with more appreciation and vitality. We also touch on the topics of mindfulness, creativity, learning, and individual differences.

Website: gretchenrubin.com

Twitter: @gretchenrubin

Topics

01:57 The Five-Senses Quiz

08:25 The more we know, the more we notice

11:09 Life in Five Senses

14:34 We all have unique sensory worlds

19:21 Gretchen’s daily visits to the MET 

24:40 The longing for immersive experiences

27:50 COVID has taught us to value our senses

32:10 The magic of ketchup

36:50 Connecting through sensory experiences

40:04 What is your ideal sensory surrounding?

50:21 The muse machine

55:19 Different ways of being and sensing

Today we welcome Sharon Salzberg, who is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is the co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society. Her podcast, The Metta Hour, has amassed six million downloads and features interviews with thought leaders from the mindfulness movement and beyond. Her latest book is called Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness and Freedom. 

In this episode, I talk to Sharon Salzberg about navigating real life. When we are faced with trials and tribulations, it feels as if we're alone. On top of that, our underlying assumptions about the world and ourselves can make us feel worse. Sharon shares with us useful tips that can help us deal with overwhelming emotions and pain. She believes that by cultivating these loving-kindness practices, it can help us feel more open and free, allowing our inner lights to shine forth.

Website: www.sharonsalzberg.com

Twitter: @SharonSalzberg

Topics

02:17 From isolation to openness and freedom

05:36 Suffering from our unexamined assumptions

07:33 “Shaking hands” with our emotions

11:35 Looking within with love

15:38 Guilt, shame, and remorse

19:23 Loving-kindness exercises

23:33 “When we connect with others, we find ourselves”

27:07 The light within us all

30:34 The Dalai Lama’s visit to insight meditation society

33:15 Widening our window of tolerance

39:11 Allow yourself to feel joy

40:57 Dealing with illness and physical pain

48:00 Aspiration powers our journey

Today we welcome Dr. Anil Seth. He is the Professor of Cognitive and Computational Neuroscience at the University of Sussex, where he is also Co-Director of the Sackler Centre for Consciousness Science. His research has been supported by the European Research Council, the Wellcome Trust, and the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research. Dr. Seth’s 2017 main-stage TED talk is one of the most popular science TED talks, with more than 13 million views. His latest book, which has received numerous accolades, is called Being You: A New Science of Consciousness.

In this episode, I talk to Dr. Anil Seth about the new science of consciousness. Although we don’t exactly know how or why consciousness exists, Dr. Seth thinks this shouldn’t stop us from exploring its properties. One of the things he explores in his research is the conditions for consciousness. Everyone has their own way of perceiving the world. Perceptual diversity exists and we would be misguided to try and standardize consciousness on a single dimension. We also touch on the topics of intelligence, panpsychism, free will, AI technology, and the after life. 

Website: www.anilseth.com

Twitter: @anilkseth

Topics

02:08 The hard problem of consciousness

07:02 The value of inner experiences

12:22 Experiencing is consciousness

15:51 Panpsychism 

19:01 The condition for consciousness

21:38 Neuroscience of consciousness

27:32 Perceptual diversity

37:09 Perception Census

43:00 Can we measure consciousness?

49:13 Individual differences in experiencing 

56:40 Experience of free will is not an illusion

1:09:24 Cybernetic free will

1:12:55 Can artificial intelligence produce consciousness? 

1:24:24 The desire to persist

Today we welcome Kenneth Play and Madison Sloane Holland.

Kenneth Play is an international sex expert and sex educator. Named “the world’s greatest sex hacker” by GQ, he has been featured by more than one hundred media outlets, including The New York Times, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, and Huffington Post. He is the creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series, and author of Beyond Satisfied. His work has helped millions of men gain lasting confidence and competence. 

Madison Sloane Holland is a sex and empowerment coach, intimacy expert, and co-host of the top-rated sex podcast, Pleasure Positive Living. 

In this episode, I talked to Kenneth and Madison about how to increase sexual pleasure. Most people fail to realize their full sexual potential, partly because sex education in America is fear and shame driven. As a result, people turn to different forms of media, which can create unrealistic expectations and insecurities. Kenneth and Madison dispel the most common sex myths and talk about how we can empower both men and women to take charge of their own pleasure.

Websites: kennethplay.com & www.pleasurepositiveliving.com/guide

Instagram: @Kenneth_Play & @sugar.sloane_madison

Kenneth’s E-book: https://bit.ly/ScottKennethPodcast

Kenneth’s free training on VICE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zA3iQ1aR5IY

Topics

04:22 What is sex hacking?

06:05 Shortcomings of American sex education

09:37 How block ourselves from pleasure

13:05 Transcendent sexuality and peak experiences

22:27 Pleasure for healing and intimacy

26:04 The orgasm gap

32:33 Erotic context matters

37:48 Male sexual empowerment

45:52 Myths about sexual pleasure

54:36 Going after our deepest desires

Today we welcome Dr. Anne Fausto-Sterling. She is the Nancy Duke Lewis Professor Emerita of Biology and Gender Studies in the Department of Molecular and Cell Biology and Biochemistry at Brown University. Her books and scholarly articles are referenced widely in feminist and scientific inquiry. She has received grants and fellowships in both the sciences and the humanities. In 2020, she re-released Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality with updated research.

In this episode, I talked to Anne Fausto-Sterling about gender/sex and the body. During the sixties, the term “gender” was introduced to make a distinction between a person’s biology and psychology. But Dr. Fausto-Sterling believes that these can never really be separate. Biology influences gender—and the opposite is also true. Culture and context can influence our hormones and body systems. We also touch on the topics of gender dysphoria, feminism, intersexuality, trans issues, and child development.

Website: annefaustosterling.com

Twitter: @Fausto_Sterling

Topics

02:52 Dr. Fausto-Sterling’s background and expertise

07:58 Sexual invert, eonist, & transvestite

14:42 Gender identity disorder in the DSM

19:47 Transgenderism and non-binaries

21:49 The Five Sexes

25:27 “Gender is always changing the biology”

30:08 Redefining sex 

34:54 Intersex inclusivity

40:29 Feminists labeled as TERFs

43:39 Sex should be functional

45:45 Moral panic about bathrooms, sports, jail

50:00 Addressing issues in context

55:50 Dynamic Systems Framework for Gender/Sex Development

57:54 Dr. Fausto-Sterling’s call to end sex differences research

Today we welcome Debra Soh, Marco Del Giudice, and Buck Angel.

Dr. Debra Soh is a neuroscientist who specializes in gender, sex, and sexual orientation. She holds a PhD in neuroscience with scientific expertise in paraphilias, hypersexuality, and child sexual abuse prevention. As a journalist, her writing has appeared in several publications like the New York Post, the Wall Street Journal, and many more. In 2020, she published her first book called “The End of Gender”.

Dr. Marco Del Giudice is an associate professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of New Mexico, Albuquerque. He received his bachelors in psychology and doctorate in cognitive science from the University of Turin in Italy. He has over a hundred scientific publications on personality, motivation, attachment styles, psychopathology, sex differences, and other topics. In 2016 he was granted the Early Career Award of the Human Behavior and Evolution Society (HBES).

Buck Angel is an adult-film producer, performer and motivational speaker who also works as an advocate, educator, lecturer and writer. He has served on the Board of Directors of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance from 2010 to 2016. Born as a biological female, Buck conquered a lifetime of adversity to undergo his transformation to become the healthy, happy, self-confident man that he is today. Buck created the first FTM adult website in 2003, and became the first FTM adult entertainer and film producer. In 2007, Buck made history again as the first transexual man to ever win the AVN transexual performer of the year award. 

In this episode, I talk to Debra, Marco, and Buck about the scientific realities of biological sex. There is considerable opposition against the idea that sex is binary. But denying science because it doesn’t seem to fit our gender beliefs can be dangerous. As ironic as it seems, when we acknowledge biology, we can accommodate more variation better than our preconceived, rigid social norms.

Website: drdebrasoh.com , marcodg.net , buckangel.com

Twitter: @DrDebraSoh & @BuckAngel

Topics

04:08 Dr. Marco’s background and expertise 

06:41 Dr. Debra’s background and expertise

07:48 Buck’s background and expertise

10:02 Shift from ‘transexual’ to ‘transgender’ 

12:35 The separation of sex and gender

21:33 Why feminists reject biology

27:27 “It is transphobic to deny biology”

30:51 Extreme trans activism 

40:00 Transgenders vs TERFs

43:07 Being gender fluid is trendy

44:18 Losing the nuances in gender

47:49 The evolutionary perspective of traits

55:05 Dismantling the definition of woman

58:46 De-transitioning and safe healthcare

1:07:03 The construction of gender identity

1:14:25 Social transitioning through pronouns

1:22:32 Non-binary and non-specific labels

1:28:42 Prioritizing truth over feelings

Today we welcome Dr. Carole Hooven. For the past six years, she served as a lecturer and co-director of undergraduate studies at Harvard’s department of Human Evolutionary Biology. She has received numerous teaching awards, and her popular Hormones and Behavior class was named one of the Harvard Crimson’s “top ten tried and true.” Currently, Dr. Hooven has moved to the Psychology department where she works as an associate at Steven Pinker’s lab. Her latest book is called T: The Story of Testosterone, the Hormone that Dominates and Divides Us.

In this episode, I talked to Dr. Carole Hooven about the science of testosterone. Why do males have higher rates of physical violence, take on more risk, and desire more sexual partners? Dr. Hooven’s research points to testosterone as the answer. Although sex differences may stem from biology, variations in behavior may be better explained by genetics interacting with culture. We also touch on the topics of evolutionary biology, gender dysphoria, gender-affirming care, and academic freedom.

Website: carolehooven.com

Twitter: @hoovlet

Topics

02:49 Dr. Carole’s background and expertise

09:26 Sex differences in mental rotation

21:38 How hormones work

24:47 The uses and effects of testosterone

28:00 Testosterone, risk, and violence

31:23 Genetic and cultural differences

35:33 Trans women’s athletic advantages

38:51 Let scientists conduct research

44:22 Side effects of puberty blockers

49:31 Evidence-informed view of transitioning

56:30 There is no trans phenotype

59:22 The TERFs vs trans debates

1:03:28 Suppression of academic freedom

1:06:48 Untangle science from politics

1:09:15 Can we modify our chromosomes?

Today we welcome Aaron Rabinowitz and Callie Wright. 

Aaron is a lecturer in philosophy at Rutgers University. He hosts the Embrace The Void and Philosophers in Space podcast. He specializes in ethics, metaethics, and problems surrounding AI and personhood. He earned his M.A. in Philosophy from Colorado State University.

Callie is a freelance audio producer and the host of the Queersplaining podcast. They are non-binary trans person.

In this episode, I talk to Aaron and Callie about gender and trans issues. When it comes to transgendered folk, we tend to focus on extreme examples that are far removed from reality. Some people think being transgender is a social contagion, while others reject the reality of gender altogether. Callie shares how transitioning has allowed them to become their most authentic self. Aaron sheds light on the issues of consent, autonomy, identity, and medical ethics. Both Callie and Aaron recognize that specific topics can negatively skew public opinion, which is why addressing misconceptions and highlighting the lived experiences of trans men, women, and non-binary individuals are crucial to the conversation.

Website: voidpod.com & queersplaining.com

Twitter: @ETVPod & @calliegetsit

Topics

03:15 Introducing Callie

05:14 Introducing Aaron

08:27 Callie coming out as trans

17:06 Ideology over science 

23:32 Transphobia is real

25:28 Social contagion and moral panic

33:29 Pushing the anti-trans agenda 

35:56 “Have a trans child or a dead child”

41:13 Extreme trans activists

47:13 The gender critical movement

44:47 The world operates on gender, not sex

51:29 What does it feel like to be a trans woman?

55:50 Subjectivity of gender and identity

1:02:06 Why we gatekeep identities

1:06:30 Trans people in sports

1:23:58 Sex and gender differences

1:32:47 Gender-affirming care

1:39:44 Puberty blockers and transitioning 

1:42:38 Medical ethics and barriers to access

1:49:21 Parental consent vs child autonomy

1:52:17 There is harm in waiting and seeing

2:07:55 Irreversible changes in puberty

2:11:43 Teaching gender in school

2:15:26 Wokeness is misappropriated

2:17:42 Final thoughts

Today we welcome Steven Kotler, the Executive Director of the Flow Research Collective. He is an award-winning journalist and one of the world’s leading experts on human performance. Steven is the author of eleven bestsellers including The Art of Impossible, The Rise of Superman, Bold, and Abundance. His work has been nominated for two Pulitzer Prizes, translated into over 50 languages, and has appeared in over 100 publications. His latest book is called Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad.

Our moderator for this live discussion was Dr. Torrie Higgins, the Head Coach of the Flow Research Collective. Dr. Higgins is a deeply passionate, empathetic peak performance coach, consultant and educator whose coaching philosophy is rooted in the deep-seated belief that everyone has the potential to achieve success and growth. In her private practice, she has had the opportunity to coach a diverse range of clientele, from mountaineers preparing to summit Mount Everest and K2 to business leaders of Fortune 500 companies.

In this live discussion, I talked to Steven Kotler about creativity, skill-mastery, and aging. Our society views aging as a process of decline, with our physical and mental capabilities worsening over time. Steve Kotler invites us to challenge our preconceived notions about aging by engaging in “impossible” activities that cultivate mastery and creativity. When we are able to incrementally push past our limits, we change our mindset about growing old which ultimately prolongs our longevity.  We also touch on the topics of exploration, play, social connection, flow, neuroscience, wisdom, and embodied cognition.

Website: stevenkotler.com

Twitter: @steven_kotler

Topics

04:55 Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad

10:46 Challenging our limiting beliefs

16:12 Narcissism vs mastery

19:40 Curiosity and exploration as motivators

22:24 Approach fear incrementally

27:18 Why we need “replacement friends”

38:44 Finding a training partner

42:54 Creativity and Aging: What We Can Make With What We Have Left

49:38 Intelligence, expertise, giftedness

52:31 “The pursuit of wisdom thrives on joy”

1:02:13 Dynamic deliberate play

1:11:25 Learning through embodied cognition

1:17:06 Flow and peak experiences

1:23:45 Creativity as a way of being

Today we welcome Eli Finkel. He is a professor at Northwestern University, where he has appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management. In his role as director of Northwestern’s Relationships and Motivation Lab (RAMLAB), he has published more than 160 scientific papers and is a guest essayist for The New York Times. The Economist declared him “one of the leading lights in the realm of relationship psychology.” His latest book is called The All-Or-Nothing Marriage.

In this episode, I talked to Eli Finkel about how the best marriages work. The institution of marriage has evolved throughout the decades. People used to tie the knot for socioeconomic purposes, but nowadays we seek to fulfill our higher need for self-actualization in relationships. According to Eli, higher expectations are not necessarily bad for marriages if people can use them strategically. Eli also shares love hacks we can implement to improve our relationships with our partners. 

Website: elifinkel.com

Twitter: @EliJFinkel

Topics

02:54 Pleasure vs meaning in romance

05:49 There’s no rule for marriages

08:15 The pre-industrial mindset of marriage

10:39 Vertical integration of needs in a relationship

13:55 Expectations, goals, & fulfillment

17:53 The evolution of marriage 

22:30 The All or Nothing Theory of Marriage

25:21 Mate evaluation theory and other studies

34:48 The value of love hacks

38:21 Positive attribution bias 

39:36 Third-party reappraisal on conflict