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Submit ReviewMusic influences us in so many ways. Tim Ringgold uses music to help those struggling with addictions, pain, trauma, and stress to heal and recover. The beauty and power of music caresses our spirit in ways we can’t imagine! His story of how music touched his personal life is inspiring.
The Healing Power of Music
- Tim Ringgold is Director of Sonic Divinity Music Therapy Services and is a board-certified music therapist. He is also certified as Remo HealthRHYTHMS facilitator. His treatment encompasses helping people of all ages to recover from addiction, physical, emotional and spiritual pain, and stress.
- He is the author of “Sonic Recovery,” and “Bella’s Blessings: A Humble Story of Providence.” In his books, he writes about how music affects and helps people. “Bella’s Blessing” is the personal story of the loss of his baby daughter and how he, his family, and Bella benefited through music therapy.
- Tim is also a public speaker who, on countless occasions, shares how music helps people to be mindful in the present.
- Tim has experienced his own emotional trauma through addiction, having five friends murdered, and losing his 17-month old daughter to a horrific skin disease. He shares how he discovered resilience through his music.
- He lovingly pays homage to his baby daughter by wearing unique and crazy socks. During his stay in intensive care, the only things she was allowed to wear were diapers and colorful socks he and his wife put on Bella daily. It was the one thing that they could do to help brighten each day for her.
- Tim’s philosophy on how he wants to live life is magnetic! “I light up every room I walk into, touch every person I meet, and leave inspiration in my wake. This is who I am, this is what I do, and this is what you can count on.”
Listen to the episode for the full story.
Resources Mentioned in the Show:
- Website: http://www.timringgold.com/about/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tim.ringgold
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tim_ringgold/
- Books: https://www.timringgold.com/products/ https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SBYWNZL
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/tringgold/videos
- Other: http://www.sonicdivinity.com/about/
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
I was so inspired about how Tim applies the healing power of music therapy not only in his professional life but personal as well. He is an excellent example of how one finds resilience from traumatic events and experiences. I can’t begin to imagine his pain of losing his daughter, friends, and suffering from addiction. Tim’s recovery and healing came from the beauty of using music to stay present in the here and now. His mindfulness in the present helped him to focus on moving forward rather than being stuck in the painful past. Music has such a profound influence on the very depths of our soul. The right music will keep you grounded in the present and keep you moving forward. How has music impacted you and any emotional, physical, or spiritual pain you have gone through? I’d love to hear about it! Share your comments on our Facebook page.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Stephanie McPhail shared her story about how she escaped a toxic and abusive first marriage – so if you are in a toxic relationship and don’t know where to turn, go back and have a listen. Next episode, we’ll interview Kristen Girard who talks about how growing up with an abusive father stole her self-worth. If you find it hard to love yourself and find value in who and what you are, stay tuned!
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.
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100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
Our memoir of the day is Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil was written in 1994 by John Berendt. Shots rang out in Savannah’s grandest mansion in the early morning of May 2, 1981. Was it murder or self-defense? For nearly a decade, the shooting and its aftermath reverberated throughout this hauntingly beautiful city. Berendt’s suspenseful and witty narrative reads like a captivating novel, and yet it’s nonfiction. At once a true-crime murder story and a hugely entertaining and deliciously perverse travelogue. Check out Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
About: Tim Ringgold
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Links:
Website: http://www.timringgold.com/about/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tim.ringgold
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tim_ringgold/
Books: https://www.timringgold.com/products/ https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SBYWNZL
“You never knew what was going to come. I think that had become normal for me.” Women who find themselves codependent in a toxic relationship, soon discover that they care more for their partner than themselves. Stephanie McPhail started her own business, Mind, Body, & Awakenings to educate and help facilitate recovery for women in toxic relationships.
Exit Toxic Relationships: Let Your Voice Be a Lighthouse
Highlights from the interview:
- Stephanie McPhail planned her wedding day to be a special day, but it turned into a nightmare. Her husband’s anger escalated to a point where she feared for her life.
- Throughout her marriage, Stephanie timidly walked on egg shells to avoid triggering her husband’s anger.
- Stephanie’s mother posed a thought-provoking question to her; “Would you want this to be your last day?”
- A turning point for Stephanie was realizing one day that she had to make a change. She was at a point in her life where nothing was of any value, except her sanity. It was time for her to follow her heart and find a life that would make her happy.
- After pursuing a new life, Stephanie discovered that the stronghold of a toxic relationship is difficult to free yourself from. Although you are out of it, the aftermath had to be dealt with in intensive therapy.
- Following her heart, Stephanie founded Mind and Body Awakenings where she helps other abused women rediscover their worth. She helps them to find steady footing on the new path to recovery.
- Life is no longer monochromatically muted, but is beautifully painted with vibrant colors of every kind. Her soul is full of joy and full of sunshine which never dwindles.
Listen to the episode for the full story.
Resources Mentioned in the Show:
Website: http://www.mindandbodyawakenings.com/home
Additional link to website: https://www.beinglovedshouldnthurt.com/meet-us
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BeingLovedShouldntHurt/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beinglovedshouldnthurt/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CQRZG2G/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
Stephanie’s story of how she struggled under the hand of an abusive man, in a toxic relationship, is something many of us can relate to. We can’t change a person who has abusive tendencies, nor can we walk on eggshells for the rest of our lives. She knew that the only way out was for her to be bold in making a tough decision to leave the toxic relationship she was in.
Women, just like Stephanie, find that they lose almost everything they have when their spirit is broken down. Their sense of worth is depleted, causing them to remain in the relationship. Her redeeming grace was the last thing she held onto, and that was her sanity. She refused to let go of that.
Do Toxic Relationships Cause You to Lose Hope?
Are you in a similar situation and feel there is no hope? There are so many of us out there that are in the same boat! We don’t share these things with others because we are embarrassed or afraid.
One of the first steps to freedom and healing is to put your pain and past on paper! Many of us have shared our Life Stories so other women like you can read them and have hope. Give your suffering a voice, then let it speak loudly with your own story. That voice will give you the confidence to take the next step dear friend. I know you can do it.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Anna Seewald who experienced a catastrophic earthquake that changed her life forever. Next week, we’ll interview ME! I share how resilience can be learned, and that you can bounce back from life’s events quicker.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.
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100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
Our memoir of the day is Darkness Visible was written in 1990 by William Styron. A work of great personal courage and a literary tour de force, this bestseller is Styron’s true account of his descent into a crippling and almost suicidal depression. That he survived his descent into madness is something of a miracle. Styron is perhaps the first writer to convey the full terror of depression’s psychic landscape, as well as the illuminating path to recovery which may arouse a shock of recognition. Check out Darkness Visible and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
About: Stephanie McPhail
Stephanie McPhail, M.S. wrote “Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt” to help inspire others to live their best lives now. She begins with a very revealing personal recollection of her own toxic relationships and describes how they affected her on a deep level. In the wake of her last toxic relationship, she experienced depression, legal issues, and a major health scare. Feeling hopeless and alone, she finally made a conscious decision to begin changing and truly create her best life possible. Stephanie shares her struggles and triumphs with readers. The book also includes three other personal stories of triumph after a very difficult past.
Links:
Website: https://www.beinglovedshouldnthurt.com/meet-us
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/BeingLovedShouldntHurt/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beinglovedshouldnthurt/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CQRZG2G/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb
In one day, your whole world could crumble and everything you treasure could be lost. That is exactly what happened to Anna Seewald in Armenia, where an earthquake resulted in overwhelming tragedy. Although she struggled through adversity, she found healing through community bonds. Her philosophy: together, we could overcome anything.
The Other Side of Adversity
- Anna, growing up in Armenia, lived a peaceful and fulfilling childhood until her home town was hit with a catastrophic earthquake. The tragedy resulted in the loss of her mother, younger cousin, and many more friends and relatives.
- Anna had to move with other relatives in a foreign country, however, the experience allowed her to grow more resilient and empowering as she lives her life now in America.
- Overcoming her struggles, Anna became a parent counselor where she guides parents who’ve also been through trauma and abuse. She sees herself in them as they are on the same side of adversity.
- Anna did work with children at the beginning of her career. She believes that focusing on the parents and how they raise their children will result in a better home for both the parents and children.
- Anna credits her strength and resilience to the community she was in, relationships she bonded through, and the love she received as well as gave. She believes she is where she is at because of the unspoken bond of empathy.
- After the earthquake, and to this day, Anna processes her pain through the art of music, poetry, and writing.
Listen to the episode for the full story.
Resources Mentioned in the Show:
Anna’s upcoming book still in the making, The Other Side of Adversity
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
Anna expressed just how valuable having her community with her through the hardship they were all experiencing. She credits her strength to the bonds and relationships she kept and created. That the emotional support and love that she gained was what enabled her to keep on pushing through. This insight really goes to show that if you are ever in a dark place, it is really helpful to put some effort in asking for help, reaching out to trust other people, and surrounding yourself with positivity. You are strong on your own, so imagine the strength you can muster with the support of more. There’s power in numbers. But it’s up to you to take rightful advantage of such opportunities. No matter what you’re going through, you’re never alone. Take a little bit of time in your day to reach out, you or that other person might really need it.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Melissa Pierce who becomes a widow overnight – that if she didn’t help herself she couldn’t help her kids, so she started her road to recovery. Next week, we’ll interview Peggy Oliveira who believes that communication and recognition is the healthiest way to overcome trauma and to stop the trauma from creating any more damage to your life.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.
100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
Our memoir of the day is Not Without My Daughter was written in 1987 by Betty Mahmoody. In August 1984, Michigan housewife Betty Mahmoody accompanied her husband to his native Iran for a two-week vacation. To her horror, she found herself and her four-year-old daughter, Mahtob, virtual prisoners of a man rededicated to his Shiite Moslem faith, in a land where women are near-slaves and Americans are despised. Their only hope for escape lay in a dangerous underground that would not take her child. Check out Not Without My Daughter and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
About: Anna Seewald
Links:
Website: Authentic Parenting
Facebook Page: Authentic Parenting
Instagram: Authentic Parenting
“Now I am trusting myself. I trust my decisions. I stand by my decisions. I know what’s best now and I speak up now.” Melissa Pierce didn’t succumb when tragedy struck, she persevered through the pain and transformed into a stronger person because of it. She learned to accept herself as the person she had become. She moved on to write a book and share her experiences with others.
A Widow’s Tough Story Filled With Gold
- Melissa’s story starts when Melisa and David were a couple struggling with fertility in 2005 and they decided they wanted to adopt two little boys. In 2011 Melissa woke up and David did not. She had become a widow overnight.
- Melissa relayed her story of struggle, how she moved closer to her family and decided to get help. The first six months she felt like a zombie, but came to the conclusion that if she didn’t help herself she couldn’t help her kids, so she started her road to recovery.
- When a widow’s grief and stress showed up in her body, she took part in things that made her feel good: yoga, acupuncture, massage and exercise. Over a year later she found she was recovering but continues to have her moments to this day.
- Melissa learned to accept the person she has become after her husband’s death and has become stronger for it.
Listen to the episode for the full story.
Resources Mentioned in the Show: http://filledwithgold.org/
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
Grief is a tough thing. I would like to encourage everyone suffering through grief to seek professional help. Don’t attempt to go through grieving a loss on your own, even if you don’t feel like you need it. There is often a stigma surrounding counseling and therapy, letting a stranger in is a daunting task however bouncing your feelings off someone and talking about what you’re feeling can really help you heal.
For those who are grieving, or even just those who are in turmoil, find something you truly enjoy. Keep exploring until you find it. Melissa found tap-dancing and found it to help her get out of her head and just have fun. It could be anything from Jiu-jitsu to coloring pictures just find something that you like doing.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Jennifer Lynn McGraw shared her own trials and tribulations – to grow from your past and help others on their own journey, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Anna Seewald who experienced a catastrophic earthquake that changed her life forever.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.
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100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
Our memoir of the day is One Liter of Tears written in 1986 by Aya Kito. This story follows Kitō’s coping with both her teenage life and her degenerative disease. She keeps a diary of what she feels and the hardships she endures. As the disease progresses, the diary became her outlet for describing the intense personal struggles she underwent in coping, adapting, and ultimately trying to survive her disease. As she notes in one entry, “I write because writing is evidence that I am still alive.” Check out One Liter of Tears and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
About: Melissa Pierce
Melissa Grahek Pierce is the author of Filled With Gold, written with Christine Fadden. She went through a tremendous trial when she lost her husband after adopting two young boys, and the book is the story of her journey. Now, she helps other widows cope with their own losses and move forward. She enjoys her roles as a wife, mother, sister, life coach, and friend. Melissa currently calls Portland, Oregon, home.
Links:
Website: Filledwithgold.org
Facebook Page: Filledwithgold
Everyone goes through their own trials and tribulations but it’s about overcoming them through not only mental strength but vocally. To grow from your past and help others on their own journey. It only takes one spark to start a fire.
Navigate With Soul
- Tough childhood: Jennifer Lynn McGraw and her sisters were victimized by abuse throughout their childhood. I interviewed Jennifer for this podcast and she thrived in spite of her past.
- Jennifer remained silent about her abuse until her youngest son entered college. Then she felt ready to start writing down her life’s journey.
- She published her first book, Changing Lanes from Hell to Heaven, on Amazon to share her story and connect with others.
- After a while, Jennifer took her books off the shelf to remodel, edit, and overall create something even more fulfilling, which is now called, Navigating with Soul.
- Jennifer is a nurse as well as a mentor to many. She has been studying and practicing wellness for over 30 years. Focusing on teens, she encourages them to mentor in a win win situation.
Listen to the episode for the full story.
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
Jennifer mentioned that she wanted to be a voice, or a champion, for those who feel like they can’t express themselves or speak up about abuse. She herself was afraid of the repercussions from her family. Victims are the ones who remain silent. I would like to encourage anyone who has been a victim, whether it’s from abuse, or some other life event, to start writing it down. Writing helps you get it out of your head, find words for what’s happened to you, and helps you gain power over those thoughts and that event rather than letting it have power over you. You never have to share it with anyone at all. It’s incredibly healthy and even life-changing to write about those tough times. It can be personal, just for you. Just start with 10 minutes a day in a journal and see where that takes you.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Luiza Coscia shared some great strategies for raising children to be resilient. – so, if you need to help your children to be more resilient, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Melissa Pierce who became a widow and single parent overnight.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.
100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
Our memoir of the day is Boy: Tales of Childhood written in 1984 by Roald Dahl. Throughout his young days at school and just afterwards, a number of things happened to Dahl, which made such a tremendous impression he never forgot them. This is the remarkable story of his childhood; tales of exciting and strange things – some funny, some frightening, all true. It describes his life in Britain from birth until leaving school, and how his childhood experiences led him to writing as a career. Check out Boy: Tales of Childhood and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
About: Jennifer Lynn McGraw
Links:
Website: JenniferLynnMcGraw.net
Facebook Page: Jennifer Lynn McGraw
Twitter: @navigatesoul
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How to raise children with a sense of resilience? This week, we are joined again by Luiza Coscia, an engineer, author, and mother of five children with special needs. She discusses her strategies to raise out-of-the-box children with out-of-the-box strategies.
Raising Resilient Kids
Luiza Y. Coscia, author of Outcast to Outstanding: The Practical Guide to Understanding & Addressing the Drivers of Your Child’s Behavior, joined us as a special guest again this week. Luiza is an author, engineer, and mother of five children with special needs. Last time she was a guest on the podcast, we discussed the importance of being resilient as a parent. Today, we discuss some of her strategies for raising resilient children.
Luiza has a series of strategies that she employs in order to instill a sense of resilience into her children. She knows that at some point, all children will find themselves in situations that require them to exhibit the ability to remain resilient in the face of trouble. Coscia describes children’s brains as a sponge, and says that it is parent’s jobs to feed that. Through several different methods, Luiza teaches her children how to act resilient.
The first strategy that Luiza uses to help her children understand the importance of resilience is subjecting them to historical figures. By sharing the stories of others acts of resilience, she hopes her children will aim to exhibit the same traits. She told us about how her two year old son likes to share the story of Gandhi with others. Luiza will write down quotes from these historical figures, and talk about how their words have left legacies. She believes that children can look up to these people, and strive to be more like them.
Front Loading Resilience Strategies
Her second strategy is something that she likes to refer to as “front loading.” Front loading involves preparing children for difficult situations before they encounter them. For example, whenever she takes all five of her children bowling she will discuss with them that not all of them will win. However, she tells them that if they work hard on it, they will improve. She provides incentives for her children such as if everyone graciously loses, they will be allowed to play a second game.
The third strategy is to draw to children in order to help them learn. Luiza will illustrate things on kitchen napkins to teach her kids different ways of being resilient. She will display someone overcoming difficult situations, and exhibit that at the end things worked out properly. Luiza says that the drawings can range in complexity depending on the age of the child.
Another strategy that Luiza uses is modeling situations of resilience in her own life to her children. She says that you are your child’s hero, whether you feel like it or not. An example from her own life that she uses to illustrate her ability to be resilient is the difficulty she faces at home when her husband is out of town travelling for work. She asks her children if she should just give up, and throw in the towel. By displaying her own hardships, her children not only learn but offer to provide more help.
Now that you have taught your children some ways to be resilient, your fifth strategy would be to have your kids practice being resilient. Luiza will have her children imagine being in very difficult situations, and have them display resilience. Luiza does this by having them say out loud phrases such as, “this is difficult, but I will get through it.”
Live Resilience Every Day
Luiza’s final strategy is that you need to live resilience in your life. You have to communicate with your child, and talk about using resilience day to day. It is important for you to tell them situations in which you faced trials and tribulations, but were able to be resilient. If you employ Luiza Y. Coscia’s strategies, you will be able to successfully teach your children how to be resilient.
Listen to the full podcast for all of Luiza’s strategies.
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
I really love how Luiza shared ways to help our children become more resilient. I think every parent wants that. We can’t protect our children from all of the tough stuff that they will experience, that would be impossible! So in lieu of that, building resilience in them is the next best thing. I’d love to know some unique ways you’ve built resilience in your kids. Please share your ideas over on our Facebook page.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Luiza discussed the importance of being resilient as a parent – so if you need some help on how to become more resilient, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Jennifer Lynn McGraw who talks about helping teens move forward past their story to change the world.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Before you go, don’t forget your free download that answers the question: Can I Write About My Ex? And Other Burning Questions About Life Storytelling. You know you’re curious about it. Check it out and download it for free at stacybrookman.com/write.
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100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
One more thing…we’re having fun counting down the 100+ Most Important Memoirs of the past 200 years. So our memoir of the day is Mommie Dearest from 1978. Mommie Dearest is a memoir and exposé written by Christina Crawford, the adopted daughter of actress Joan Crawford. It describes her upbringing by an unbalanced alcoholic mother, whom she judged unfit to raise children. The book attracted much controversy, with many family friends denouncing it as fiction, but others claiming that it was a broadly accurate, if exaggerated, account of Christina’s troubled childhood. Check out Mommie Dearest and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
And always remember, Life is a story, and it’s never too late to start telling yours.
About: Luiza Coscia
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Her background includes a Bachelor’s of Science degree in engineering and a real life PhD that she earned working with other families and raising and homeschooling her own 6 children who required creative interventions due to special needs & special challenges.
What sets Luiza apart is that she honed her problem solving and analytical skills during her successful engineering career, skills that she now applies to engineer unique solutions for parents to nurture the diamond in the rough in their children. Her unique solutions cover anything from bedtime challenges to sibling relationships, and they always ignite the best out of every child.
About: Marco Coscia
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Through Marco and Luiza’s struggles and challenges they have developed strategies to create a sense of harmony in their clan. Now they would like to share their journey and parenting strategies. They have seen how, with the proper strategies, even “problem” behaviors can be turned around. Marco believes “problem” children can truly flourish by changing the paradigm and addressing the behaviors with the proper perspective.
Marco uses his own childhood struggles and experiences to bring a unique perspective on the child’s view.
Links:
Website: HarmoniousClan.com
Facebook Page: Harmonious Clan
Twitter: @HarmoniousClan
Resources Mentioned in the Show: Outcast to Outstanding: The Practical Guide to Understanding & Addressing the Drivers of Your Child’s Behavior
ways-to-stay-calm-2-300x300.png" alt="" width="300" height="300">>>> Click for free download
“I’m not shy to say that they are just really, really quirky kids,” says Luiza Coscia, mother to five children with special needs, who she prefers to think of as out of the box children. After going to school to be an engineer, her life experience lead her to engineering out of the box solutions to help out of the box children like her own.
One Harmonious Clan
Luiza Y. Coscia is an engineer, author, and mother to five special needs children. When asked about her children, Luiza says that she is not ashamed to say that they are just really, really quirky kids. All five of her children have some sort of special needs, that require creative interventions. After raising her children, she knows the importance of remaining strong and resilient as a parent.
She attended college as an engineering student, but Luiza’s life experiences lead her to engineer out of the box solutions for out of the box children. She says that nowadays, having out of the box children with special needs is such an epidemic. In almost every classroom, there are children who suffer because they cannot conform to the class. Luiza says these children typically end up in the principal’s office frequently, because they are out of the box.
Luiza says that a lot of low points she has encountered were due to there not being any understanding. She believes that there is a lack of public awareness about out of the box special needs children such as her own. The hardest part is the lack of awareness about what could be going on underneath, in order to cause the children to act in such a manner.
Parental Judgment
“I’ve had a lot of moments when everybody turned their eyes on me and my clan,” says Luiza. She says that people are quick to judge parents and their children. Before making judgements, Luiza encourages people to consider what the other people are going through.
“You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes. You don’t know what I’m going through. My child is an excellent child, and I am a fabulous mother.”
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
During our interview, Luiza said that the main issue she has faced as a parent of five special needs, out of the box children is a lack of understanding. People are not compassionate to others’ situations, and there is a lack of understanding of what might be going on underneath the surface. “You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes. You don’t know what I’m going through. My child is an excellent child, and I am a fabulous mother,” says Luiza. This was one of my favorite quotes from our interview. People really can’t grasp what someone else is going through unless they experience it for themselves. And even then, everyone’s experience is quite different. As Luiza said, parents are quick to judge others’ parenting styles based on the behavior of the child. However, people don’t stop to consider what could be going on in that child’s life in order to cause them to act this way. I encourage you to take a moment the next time you see a misbehaving child and a parent desperate to control the situation. Consider the underlying issues that may cause children to act out in such ways. Instead of judging the child or parent, ask what you can do to help. You just might save a Mom’s sanity.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Cec Murphey shared his thoughts on appreciating ourselves and realizing that God created each of us to love and to be loved – so if you need a little bit of encouragement , you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll continue our interview with Luiza in Part 2 of our series. She will talk about raising resilient children.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Before you go, don’t forget to go download the guide: 5 Ways to Stay Calm When Your Life is in Serious Chaos and you can’t see your way out! If your life has been chaos, or you know someone whose life is, you need this guide! Download that for free at stacybrookman.com/calm
100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
We’re having fun counting down the 100+ Most Important Memoirs of the past 200 years. So our memoir of the day was written in 1973 by J. B. West. Upstairs at the White House: My Life with the First Ladies is a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at life on Pennsylvania Avenue with America’s first families, by the man who spent nearly three decades in their midst. West offers an absorbing and novel glimpse at America’s first families, from the Roosevelts to the Kennedys and the Nixons. Alive with anecdotes ranging from ordinary to tragic, this is an enlightening and rich account of the American history. Check out Upstairs at the White House: My Life with the First Ladies and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
And always remember, Life is a story, and it’s never too late to start telling yours.
About: Luiza Coscia
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Her background includes a Bachelor’s of Science degree in engineering and a real life PhD that she earned working with other families and raising and homeschooling her own 6 children who required creative interventions due to special needs & special challenges.
What sets Luiza apart is that she honed her problem solving and analytical skills during her successful engineering career, skills that she now applies to engineer unique solutions for parents to nurture the diamond in the rough in their children. Her unique solutions cover anything from bedtime challenges to sibling relationships, and they always ignite the best out of every child.
About: Marco Coscia
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Through Marco and Luiza’s struggles and challenges they have developed strategies to create a sense of harmony in their clan. Now they would like to share their journey and parenting strategies. They have seen how, with the proper strategies, even “problem” behaviors can be turned around. Marco believes “problem” children can truly flourish by changing the paradigm and addressing the behaviors with the proper perspective.
Marco uses his own childhood struggles and experiences to bring a unique perspective on the child’s view.
Links:
Website: HarmoniousClan.com
Facebook Page: Harmonious Clan
Twitter: @HarmoniousClan
YouTube: Harmonious Clan
Childhood sexual abuse leaves a lifelong scar. It is difficult for male survivors of sexual abuse to discuss the matter in public because of social stigma. So much so that many survivors keep on denying the reality. Cecil Murphey, speaker, blogger and author of books like ‘More than Surviving: Courageous Meditations for Men Hurting from Childhood Abuse’, helps survivors of male sexual abuse accept reality, share their pain with compassionate listeners, and believe in the fact that they are not alone in their suffering.
Male Sexual Abuse Survivors Shatter the Silence
I interviewed Cec Murphey who explained how writing helped him come to terms with his own past sexual abuse. Through his blogs, articles and books, he opens up about his own struggles. His blogs and books also include real life stories of survivors of male sexual abuse.
Cec helps other survivors to share their trauma with compassionate readers. He wants them to accept reality, find help and move on. Survivors of sexual abuse, particularly men, find it more difficult to talk about their harrowing experiences. They have to overcome shame and break social taboos. Hence, many of them keep denying the facts and choose to suffer alone.
Through his writings, Cec drives the fact that there are many survivors of male sexual abuse and if you’re one of them, you’re not alone. You can send emails to Cec and he will definitely send replies. You can also leave your comments on his blog site. If you prefer to keep your identity hidden, you can do so as well.
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource.
As I interviewed Cec, I couldn’t help but think, what would I have done if I remembered such abuse? What would you have done? Would you tell anyone or would you hide it and let it eat through you day-in-day-out. Cec actually experienced a mental breakdown and his memories started to haunt him. He couldn’t help it.
Mustering his resilience, Cec decided to stand up against his fears. He did research, he investigated, and ultimately he helped himself, and he’s helped thousands of other abuse victims. I believe that this is the greatest achievement a person can aspire to. The ability to counter personal fears and use them as a lesson for your life. Perhaps take a moment to just peek at your own fears. You don’t have to delve head first into them right now, but acknowledging that they’re there is the first step. Then you can ultimately turn to face them, and conquer them.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Antoinette Martin shared her thoughts on Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and hugging everyone you know – so if you have had cancer affect your family, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Luiza Coscia who engineers out of the box solutions for out of the box children.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.
100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
This week’s memoir is All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot from 1972. Take an unforgettable journey through the English countryside and into the homes of its inhabitants – man and animal – with the world’s best-loved animal doctor. Herriot’s heartwarming and often hilarious stories of his first years as a country vet perfectly depict the wonderful relationship between man and animal– and they intimately portray a man whose humor, compassion , and love of life are truly inspiring. Check out All Creatures Great and Small and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
And always remember, Life is a story, and it’s never too late to start telling yours.
About: Cec Murphey
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Cec stays busy as a professional writer and travels extensively to speak on topics such as writing, spiritual growth, caregiving, significant living, sexual abuse, and recovery.
Prior to launching his career as a full-time writer and speaker, Cec served as pastor in Metro Atlanta, as a volunteer hospital chaplain for ten years, and was a missionary in Kenya for six.
Links:
WEBSITE: CecilMurphey.com
LIFESTYLE BLOG: MenShatteringtheSilence
WRITER’S BLOG: CecMurpheysWritertoWriter
AMAZON: More Than Surviving: Courageous Meditations for Men Hurting from Childhood Abuse
“I never thought I would be someone who needed so much support,” says Antoinette Truglio Martin, about reaching out to her support group after her cancer diagnosis. Antoinette was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer in 2007, and within five years it had metastasized to her vertebrae and became considered stage four. Now, she will live with cancer for the rest of her life. However, Antoinette remains an optimistic person. She says that in her family the glass is not half empty, it is almost full.
Go Hug Everyone You Know
Antoinette Truglio Martin is the author of Hug Everyone You Know: A Year of Community, Courage, and Cancer. The book is a memoir about her first year with breast cancer. She is a Antoinette Truglio Martin is a speech therapist and special education teacher, but considers herself a writer at heart. She received her MFA in Creative Writing and Literature from Stony Brook/Southampton University in 2016.
Martin’s book Hug Everyone You Know: A Year of Community, Courage, and Cancer is a memoir about her first year of breast cancer. 2-3% of all funds raised from her book go to cancer research. Hug Everyone You Know documents the first year of Martin’s life after getting diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. It includes email correspondence between her and her community, as well as Antoinette’s journal entries.
Cancer Doesn’t Deserve a Pretty Journal
Martin says that she always wanted to be a writer when she grew up, and she still does. While writing down her feelings about the first year after diagnosis, Martin documented everything in shabby journals. “I didn’t want cancer to be honored in any way, so it is going to get a shabby notebook,” says Martin. She did not have any special notebooks, pens, or bookmarks. Her day to day life of living with cancer was bookmarked by the dog-eared pages in those journals.
Keeping in Contact Through Emails
During her traumatic first year of battling cancer, Martin chose to update everyone in her life through emails. “It was easier for me to compose an email and send it out to everyone,” says Martin. Instead of talking on the phone, Martin decided that updates came best in the form of emails.
Antoinette chose to update people in her life via email, because sometimes it was easier than talking to someone on the phone. She found that talking about cancer on the phone caused her to have to relive the trauma. Martin never considered herself to be a “chatty” person on the phone, so emails allowed her to share her progress with loved ones.
Living Day-to-Day with Cancer
Within five years of her stage one breast cancer diagnosis, Antoinette’s cancer had metastasized and attached itself to her spine. She wants people to know that breast cancer does not kill people, cancer that has metastasized and attached itself to vital organs kills people. Stage four cancer still does not have a cure, but it can be managed with treatment. Antoinette considers herself very lucky to be living with cancer in a time with such advanced medicine. “I feel like I am living proof of the progress that has been made. I lived past my expiration point,” says Antoinette.
“I refuse to call it mine,” Antoinette Truglio Martin says about breast cancer. Though she will live with stage four cancer for the rest of her life, Antoinette does not consider the cancer to be “hers.” Instead, it is just something she has and will live with.
Cancer is no longer the focal point of Martin’s journaling. She has two daughters, with grandchildren on the way. She is a speech therapist, as well as a special education teacher. Antoinette is more concerned about things going on with her day to day life than the “looming cancer.”
Cancer and Community
Antoinette says that she never thought of herself as someone who would need to seek out support. However, after her diagnosis she found herself needing her community. She says that she never really had to ask for help, that people were just there. Throughout her entire process, she always had a shoulder to cry on.
Seeking out support can be hard, but a support group during traumatic times allows one to be resilient. Martin remains positive day-to-day despite living with stage four breast cancer that has metastasized to her spine. “Every day is a gift. We need to appreciate the moment,” says Antoinette Truglio Martin.
Listen to the episode for the full story.
Stacy’s Journal:
Journaling Negative Thoughts
Sometimes, it can be hard to sit down and actually start the journaling process. When I first began documenting my life through journals, I was worried about everything I was writing ending up being negative. I didn’t want to write if everything I wrote was bad.
At first, I was worried it would seem as if I was complaining about everything. Here’s the thing, your journal will never complain about you complaining. Journals are a great way for people to express their thoughts and emotions.
Journaling helps you become more resilient. Writing your emotions down allows you to process through them, and through journaling you can discover new things about yourself and your thoughts. You can heal through writing down your life stories and experiences.
Through the power of the pen, you can claim control of your life. Don’t worry about capturing negative emotions. Writing these feelings down will allow you to cope through them. Maybe one day, your journal entries can be included in a memoir such as Antoinette Truglio Martin’s.
This weeks memoir: The Water is Wide
The Water is Wide was published in 1972 by Pat Conroy. Across a slip of ocean lies South Carolina, but for the handful of families on Yamacraw Island, America is a world away. For years people here lived off the sea, but now its waters aren’t safe. Industry waste threatens their existence unless they can learn a new way. But that’s impossible without someone to teach them, and their school has none—until one man gives a year of his life to the island and its people. Check out The Water is Wide and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
About Antoinette Martin
Links:
BLOG: Stories Served Around The Table AMAZON: Hug Everyone You Know: A Year of Community, Courage, and Cancer RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW: METAvivor Metastatic Breast Cancer Network
“You have to work at hoping for the positive,” says Carol Graham, host of the bi-weekly podcast Never Ever Give up Hope. She has survived the challenges of major illnesses, devastating personal losses and financial ruin more than once, yet has refused to become a victim. Her goal is to share hope with others and lessons on how to survive and thrive.
Don’t Give Up Hope…Choose to Forgive
Carol is an excellent example of how necessary it is to keep a positive mindset during some of the toughest of trials. After realizing that she was in control of her future, Carol decided to dedicate her life to helping others.
Being a motivational speaker is just one of the many ways that Carol positively impacts the lives of others. She hosts a bi-weekly podcast, and recently released her memoir. Carol is a successful business woman owns and operates two jewelry stores. She has been a certified life coach for 35 years, and touched numerous lives. In addition to helping other humans, Carol has rescued over 30 dogs with her husband.
Overcoming Trials and Traumas
“People get so overwhelmed by 1 or 2 traumas in their life that they have difficulty imagining someone going through them back to back.” There was a point in Carol’s life that she avoided answering the phone, fearing that it would just be more bad news. Carol was born very ill, and after consulting seventeen experts she encountered a specialist who told her that she needed to get a hysterectomy.
“Lady… Go home, suffer, and die,” is what Carol was told after she refused to get a hysterectomy. Determined, she told the expert that she would walk back in there one day – pregnant. 14 years later, she walked back in there to prove him wrong. However, it was not an easy road to get to that point.
Carol is the victim of sexual violence. One day, she was gang raped and left for dead on the street. Rape is one of the most traumatizing events someone can suffer through, but Carol chose not to let it impact her negatively for the rest of her life. She says that she decided to forgive those who wronged her, in order to move on from the experience.
Not only once, but twice was Carol robbed by her business partners. Even then, she actively decided to forgive people who she trusted that went corrupt. While her previous partners profited and became successful, she and her husband were left with virtually nothing.
After a year of having an adopted son, his biological mother decided she wanted custody of him. Carol suffered greatly when she lost her son, then had to endure the same suffering years later. Thirty years into their relationship, Carol lost another adopted son due to estrangement.
Carol reached a point in her life where her traumas were too much for her, and once tried to commit suicide. She lost both of her parents at a young age, and did not seek out friendships. She believed that people would not want to be friends with her due to her struggles, so she did not have a healthy support group.
She relied on her faith, and believed that she would be guided through whatever situation. Carol attributes her faith as her largest source of hope at some points during her life. In hindsight, Carol believes that it is very important to have a support group that you can rely on.
The Key to Remaining Positive?
Carol thinks the most important thing to overcoming your traumas and trials is to have a sense of humor. There have been many times in her life where Carol chose to laugh, because if she did not laugh she would end up crying. She and her husband have rescued over 30 dogs, and she says that animals can bring humor into your life when you need it most.
It can be hard to always have a positive mindset, but Carol believes that you can choose how you view what has happened to you. Her advice? Move on. She says that she has moved past all of her traumas, because she decided to remain positive throughout them.
Take Home Message
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You choose how you are influenced by what has happened to you
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Sometimes, you need to laugh to keep yourself from crying
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With positivity, you can overcome anything
Listen to the episode for the full story.
Stacy’s Journal
Welcome to Stacy’s Journal! In this segment, I let you peek into my journal as I share my thoughts on a topic or resilience resource. Carol mentioned humor as one of her key resilience factors. Humor is as well-known resilience strategy. In their book, The Resilient Self, Dr. Steven and Sybil Wolin state that humor can turn nothing into something and something into nothing.”
A blog post on This Emotional Life, goes further to explain that when we can see the humor in our situation, we are playing an observant role. We are standing beside our painful situation when we can laugh at it. It gives us a chance to stick a pin in negative emotions and choose actions that are coping and positive. It’s hard to wallow or ruminate in negative emotions when you’re seeing the absurdity in your situation.
It does take a bit of psychological distance to see humor in our situations. Psychiatrist Victor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning that it is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human makeup, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds. So may you find some measure of humor in your tough situations.
That’s all we have for today. Last episode, Luis Congdon talked about being homeless at age 5 and how poetry saved him – so if you have had a tough childhood, you might want to go back and have a listen. Next week, we’ll interview Antoinette Martin who was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She explains why we should Hug everyone we know.
I love interacting with our listeners on social media. We’re on Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, and just about anywhere you can hold a great virtual conversation. Plus, I answer all my emails personally, so feel free to email me: stacy{at}stacybrookman{dot}com.
100 Most Important Memoirs of the Past 200 Years
This week’s memoir is: The Hiding Place
The Hiding Place was written in 1971 by Corrie ten Boom. This Dutch watchmaker became a heroine of the Resistance, a survivor of Hitler’s concentration camps, and one of the most remarkable evangelists of the 20th century. She and her family risked their lives to help Jews and underground workers escape the Nazi’s. For their work, they were sent to Nazi death camps. Only Corrie among her whole family survived to tell the story of how faith ultimately triumphs over evil. Check out The Hiding Place and all the memoirs on this list at stacybrookman.com/100memoirs.
About: Carol Graham
Carol Graham is the author of a fast-paced award-winning memoir, Battered Hope, the blog Never Ever Give Up Hope, and a regular contributor to numerous magazines. She has a monthly column entitled Matters of the Heart and has been published in several anthologies including a best-seller. In 2015, Carol received the Woman of Impact Award from Focus on Women Magazine and Author of the Year for her memoir, Battered Hope. Carol Graham is a charismatic speaker whose stories bring hope. She inspires transformation and healing by using her own compelling life experiences to engage and connect on a deep emotional level. Through laughter and tears her audience learns how to move forward without denying the past.
Carol hosts a bi-weekly talk show Never Ever Give Up Hope in which she interviews people with remarkable and heart-warming stories of how they conquered overwhelming obstacles and achieved success. Never Ever Give Up Hope has an international audience in over 140 countries.
In addition to motivational speaking, hosting a talk show and writing, Carol owns and operates two jewelry stores, has been a certified health coach for 35 years, is a wife, mother, grandmother and together with her husband have rescued over 30 dogs.
Links:
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