It's time for Ronnie's Raiders to do what they do best: upset the final resting grounds of some ancient evil! Also, to those who have asked, the group is still settling on the final spelling and also goes by Ronnie's Raiderz.  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The crew just left an elevator filled with acid, so things are probably going to get super cheery and tidy now! And, finally, the fearless leader of the group names the crew. Just in time! There's some coffins to root around in a musty inter-dimensional tomb. 

The torture room cleared (except for the huge gruesome mess) our heroes arrive inside some sort of evil elevator. That's right- an evilator! Do they use that word within the episode? No. But all like to have fun around here. 

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The big beefy demon dude with a plate of iron nailed to his face has tumbled into a corner of a stairwell and it's getting pretty dicey to just stand around in that stairwell. What lies on the other side of the door at the bottom is what comes next, and yeah, it's probably gonna be a mean trap that everyone saw coming but almost kills them anyway.

The big disgusting bad guy is no match for a bunch of heroes who like to pin big bad disgusting bad guys into a corner! Also there's 4-5 NPCs around now, which feels pretty cozy! May the only blood spilt be that of evil, and what everyone decides to dump on the floor because they saw it on a torture table and it freaked them out. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The group enters a room where the NPCs go bonkers, more NPCs are discovered, and they all go bonkers too. Time to light it all up! 

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We left our last episode on a cliffhanger- will Queep and Friar Jolly survive the low roll in the swirling green magic tunnel?! Well, Dan kind of cut Ken off so, Ken might actually have a plan. Also first we have to get to a particularly ribald round of listener thanks with a special visit from Billy. We missed you Chris!

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No big deal, just an extremely haunted library to get through, and then our intrepid heroes can descend into the horrors beneath the royal keep. Though all the NPCs are still alive, shocking as that may be, between the four of them only one of them isn't one foot in the grave. Pretty much everyone has been maimed at one point or another. And things are only just starting to get risky.

Chris Tallman is back! Ken is too! The full crew is faced with the prospect of fixing an undead Bunk, who may or may not be in the process of being posessed by the archlich. And, well, leave it to our crew to take a morbid DM choice and basically dare the DM to do it.

Sometimes you just gotta make a giant murder worm explode. Sure there was collateral damage and the room is a pile of rubble, but nobody probably heard anything. Let's just get everyone... mostly patched up and march boldly forth to the north! Sorry no Ken or Chris- Chris will be back soon, and Ken had a last minute thing! We tried to snag everyone, and will ASAP.

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Sadly there's no new episode this week, but we are recording and will have it next time!

What's a purple worm fight without a massacre? Well, we sure don't know. Everyone is in pieces and its time to see who can be put back together and who is gonna end up all Humpty Dumpty and shattered on the castle floor. 

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Things get bleak when it comes to worm murder, and so the riffs get as weird as humanly possible. Sadly no Chris Tallman for a few episodes, but he is doing well and we he'll be back ASAP. 

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Well, it was bound to happen. A gigantic classic monster exploded up from beneath the royal hall, and is taking chomps from our heroes. As long as everyone rolls well this should all be fine. Right? For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The path cleared, the crew must now crack open the doors to the royal hall, which appear to have been overgrown with magic vines for years, if not decades. It feels pretty unfun, because even though two of our heroes can speak to magic plants, there's probably some other horror waiting on the other side of these doors, because the DM is a dick.

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The royal hall of the lich king is buried in thorns, brambles, and branches. Luckily two of our crew are experienced at dealing with flora, Dr. Uid of course, but also newcomer (and huge fan of Dr. Drew Hugh Uid) Winifred Wintergem. As long as the plant isn't terrifying this should be no problem at all!

A brief message from us to you, the people who make our dreams come true! Look, it's a song! Patreon supporters- our Decemebr bonus eps are still on the way!

After an official, heavily rehearsed Christmas Carol, our crew just might focus enough to take down the gigantic gelantinous cube and the clutch of will-o-wisps. Will they save the mysterious wizard, or will they kinda forget he's there and let him get annihilated? Hell, maybe they will straight up forget they're in combat and do impressions the whole episode. Guess and take bets. and Happy Holidays dear listeners! 

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If you've ever wanted to imagine a monk punching acidic jelly, well then today is your day! The battle with the gelatinous cube continues, and hopefully Dan will get to live out his dream of seeing one of his friends' characters get dissolved slowly in suspended animation!

Back to the action! It's time to raid the Royal Hall, which is bound to have more activity within than some of the patrol hallways. And that means the real dungeon crawl is beginning in earnest! Hopefully nobody will already get dissolved!

Nerd Poker is turning 10 years old! And Dan has something sneaky up his sleeve to surprise the rest of the cast, but you get to know before you listen. Gerry shows up, and we all sip wine and Scotch while goofing off, talking about old games, doing bits way off the rails, and generally being dumb. 

Our crew has gotten through swarms of harpies, retinues of soldiers, and spooky ancient traps. Now ahead we see the royal hall, the vile archlich king somewhere in its subterannean chambers. Time to rest and make a terrible mistake? Did someone just eat a Mexican pizza? We shall see! Happy Thanksgiving, listeners!

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If progress is to be made towards the lich's keep, first this small sample of his army must be dealt with. And if you're looking for some classic decaptitations, boy do we have an episode for you!

Oh great, they finally found the undead army patrolling the castle. All that stands between our crew and progress are iron portcullises and a inconvenient levers, why'd some dumb evil elves have to mess with us?

There's a lich imprisoned up in the turret, and our crew is still deciding what to do with him exactly. Rob him though? Absolutely. What crew do you think we're talking about anyway?!

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Our heroes have hit a bit of an impasse, a giant iron portcullis before them. There's this totally chill, probably not trapped or haunted turret sitting right there, so why not walk up there? What's the worst that could happen?

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After finding some elves unstuck in time, our heroes attempt to escape the abandoned kitchen and catch up with Bunk the halfling, somewhere in a hallway probably not infected with magic pink mold. Probably.

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Realizing it's in their best interest to keep a low profile, our crew sneaks through the castle-city's walls, the undead army's ranks mostly missing as they spread throughout the realm in search of other heroes. Surely, sneaking through a largely abandoned undead army wall won't include any untoward surprises!

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As the crew ventures into the outer walls of Vyndarea they begin to realize how old (and weird) the denizens are. But when in doubt, set it all on fire.

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Thank you for your understanding, everyone! Here Dan explains what's up! New episode next week, and all three bonus episodes still delivering on time.

Sorry everyone! We had an emergency disrupt a recording session and couldn't get together in time. We will be back soon, and not miss any bonus episodes.

The massive city-castle looming large, our heroes approach from the cliffside. What Telfer-esque horrors loom inside? Probably something with too many fingers that breathes magma. Listen, and find out! 

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It's time to loot the harpy cave! Our intrepid crew has slunk up to a mysterious door, the sounds of soft breathing on the other side. What horrors might lie on the other side? Well we can promise you one thing: there is ZERO chance you will see this one coming.

The heroes clean up the harpy mess, we swear, and begin to explore the chambers before them, the vile castle looming large above. Hopefully Bunk doesn't get himself murdered by teleporting into a harpy pile again.

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Our heroes pull out all the stops in their first battle- silver flames are summoned and magical songs are sung, while arm blades slash, axes fly, and Dr. Uid's forehead vein pulses. But the gravity of the situation is suddenly clear as a filth cloud threatens to take down everyone, even though they've just met.

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Looks like the first fight of the campaign is a bloody one, as dozens of harpies begin to dogpile our heroes and the hit points begin to disappear. Hopefully everyone has the stamina, and the level 8 powers, that they need to make it out alive.

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Looks like the cave has all those eyeless owl harpies you ordered! After deftly disarming a trap and interrogating a corpse, it's time to test our heroes' mettle in combat!  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

As our crew commits to travelling through the caves, the harpy encounter is imminent. Hopefully Ronnie is used to his role as "leader" because his friends will need his help if they want to avoid becoming the food of eyeless barn owl creatures. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Our wary party has begun their trek into the misty caves, and it's not long before things get super creepy. Sadly the entire boat full of heroes isn't along for the dungeon crawl together, but we get a chance to get to know everyone, even Bunk the Donkeyland halfling, a little bit better.

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They haven't even been dropped off at the main quest yet, and already our crew is getting into spectral boat related mayhem, and confusing NPCs who may or may not want to join the party. It remains to be seen whether the party will make it into the dungeon! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

It's time to meet a brand new cast of characters, as the season begins on a boat piloted by a drunken fairy named Goggo, as it heads to an evil castle. The dreaded king and archlich Vallux lies within, and it's up to a very ragtag and boisterous crew to stop him! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Before every campaign, there is planning! And we thought that this time we'd let listeners be privvy to all of it. Enjoy hanging out with all of us as we contemplate whether to create new characters, bring back old ones, or create a spin that ties both together (which is what one of us does). Soon these five folks will delve into the dark castle of Vyndairea, solving puzzles and slaying evil beings in the hopes of slaying an archlich. We're excited to be back!

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Dan checks in with everyone to let them know a new adventure starts very soon, but you can catch up on a bazillion exclusive adventures over on patreon.com/nerdpoker. Listen all the way through for some hints of what Season 5 has in store!

Behold! Whilst we get ready for Season 5, enjoy this early 2020 bonus episode straight from Brian's house! Kevin Sussman from The Big Bang Theory comes by and takes our crew on one of their more... chaotic adventures. We hope you can come support us on www.patreon.com/nerdpoker and help keep this podcast alive!

The battle peaks. Lives in the balance. A small being's silhouette sits upon the steering wheel of a ship.

The vampire who has cornered the cuties seems to have summoned his greatest monster, a shadowy demon that now sucks life from the cuties one by one. Also this is a morning recording on a Monday, enjoy the odd change in tone! We're more awake and yet somehow more weary at the same time.

The mess in the temple is only getting messier. Will the Castaway Cuties make it out alive? Well, some of them anyway?

Trapped in the Temple of Bahamut (which you know, doesn't sound bad on its own) an eerie voice calls to the Castaway Cuties through the blocked door. Hopefully the Dungeon Master hasn't recently watched the movie Green Room! Oh wait he did...

Time to finally shatter this phylactery. Hopefully. Should be simple. Just a big old demon lord stuck to it, should be no big deal. And no big that the Castaway Cuties feel like they're being watched. This campaign should wrap up real nice and easy!

The finish line is seemingly only inches away, as the Castaway Cuties and their new barbarian friend approach the temple of Bahamut beneath Flaysacolan ruins. Hopefully the creepy glowing green eyes in the dark are friendly!

The Castaway Cuties know where they want to go, but unfortunately it's something they only really visited in another timeline. All they have to do is get past some undead elf soldiers. Seems like not much can go wrong!

The last bits of the battle need to be tidied up, and a helpful new adventurer arrives to join the Castaway Cuties.

While the swarm of guards is thinning out, the Castaway Cuties are running out of spell slots, hit points, and death saves. We shan't say more, this one is a must-listen.

Undead elf knights pile on the Castaway Cuties, as well as something even more disgusting. At least they're not squishing around under the gallows anymore!

Yipes, this cave battle is getting very ugly for the Castaway Cuties. Hopefully amongst the bodies there will be a few good saving throws. And death saving throws.

It's time to sneak into Flaysacola, as that town is now apparently run by undead elves and that's probably going to be a problem. The Castaway Cuties must now decide whether to climb a cliff, go for a swim, or enter a mysterious cave. Surely climbing the cliff wouldn't take a year, like climing that boat did last season.

If it isn't that anti-beastfolk guard who got chummed for a dragon turtle in S4E1? Hmm welp in this timeline things are SURE to go less horribly this time... right?

Well well well, if things haven't come full circle a bit. The Cuties are now trying to flag a ship to come pick them up. Oh yeah, and the time space continuum is in a mysteriously askew place. Nothing a few weird plans can't fix!

Now that the Castaway Cuties have their hands on the demon lord Pa(n)zuzu, all they have to do is kill it and/or smash the phylactery around his neck, and the world will be a safer place. One thing, though- reality has been completely warped and nobody on the continent may remember who they are. Probably nbd, right?

Welp, we went back in time to get the phylactery from the demon lord, and look at this fine mess we got ourselves into. Anyone got a smoke?

Some serious portal shenanigans are afoot. Will the Castaway Cuties manage to not screw up the multiverse? We think you know the answer.

In this very sexy episode, the Castaway Cuties head towards the mayor of Flaysacola's keep to see if he's there, a clone, a demon, or you know, whatever the crew has to fight now. Maybe a necromancer that turns into a giant baby?

Nathan and fellow rabbitfolk Cospia finally reunite with the rest of the Castaway Cuties and begin to plot how to use their new levels, as well as how to deal with what appears to be a huge archdemon about to appear in Davenglaven. No big deal.

We know you've missed Chris Tallman as much, so we thought we'd catch Nathan up with a solo adventure, as well as give Chris room to take as long as he wanted with a gaming session while he heals up. Full cast next episode!

Partially seeking revenge for the death of their butler Octavio, partly killing an NPC full of information just because he looked at them weird, the Castaway Cuties are embroiled in a brutal battle with a vampire lord and his wooden mech bodyguard. If only they had rested once in the last 15ish episodes before initiating combat!

Time to punch... Woody? A weird golem thing is protecting the vampire. Some fans might think these two sure sound familiar!

After successfully scouting the secret lair of the cabal, the Cuties decide to face their antagonist head-on in a crowded luxury inn's lobby. And you know this crew loves to avoid collateral damage! Let's have a listen shall we?

Vampire schemes are headed to Flaysacola and the crew are trying to figure out how to get there ahead of them, or stop them before they can get there. In the meantime they're leaving Kurt of the Adventurer's Guild in charge of the mansion, which is probably not gonna be weird at all!

Those damn vamps! Always messing with a party's party. The cabal is pulling some really lame stuff, and boy oh boy killing them will be nice.

Trigger warning: some real gross stuff continues with Danny's throat parasite. On the bright side, with Blaine's help Brian finds quite a novel and bizarre solution! We hope you enjoy the end of that particularly gross business, and the shocking cliffhanger as well!

There's some kind of crazy conspiracy going on, and we're just the crew to be confused by it! Clues abound as the Castaway Cuties go through the basement of the vampires creepy jungle home... will they manage to piece this nonsense kinda sorta together?

The cornered vampire sure does seem to have a chip on his mysteriously-caped-shoulder. Well the Castaway Cuties are infamous interrogators, so this will probably go without any punches thrown! 

The Castaway Cuties finally crash, and things get creepy real fast. I mean it's a manor that was once a hag's meeting place for her cabal of evil, just south of a being named Kronk the Walking Economy, you'd think they could just cuddle under their duvet and have cozy dreams.

The Castaway Cuties are re-exploring their little house and examining their gear, and perhaps the best part is Sam playing the part of loremaster for once. Thanks Sam!

As the Castaway Cuties are stalked through the final stretch to Blingbottom, they hope Princess Cospia lets them chop her arm off before she becomes completely stone. Wait, that's not quite how they put it. But you know... pretty close!

The Castaway Cuties could sure use a break- and they try to take one! Hopefully nothing in this horrific jungle of death and destruction will try to take advantage of this moment.

Things are heating up, thanks to an out of control jungle fire chasing the Castaway Cuties as they travel southwest to Davenglaven. And oh yeah, that whole abyssal curse thing!

The curses worsen as the Castaway Cuties struggle to shakes off the after effects of their fight with the demon. Speaking of which, weird how something smells like smoke!

After handling the demon confrontation, it's time to see if our heroes sent the right person-creature across the river to the south. Hopefully yes, since she was carrying the thing they slayed that whole army for!

What's a little battle between our heroes and an entire fish army armed with a demon and war machines? Seems like this is gonna go great!

We're heavy into an ugly battle with an ugly foe, a water demon sent by an angry Gillaxian army. Hopefully not TOO many of the Castaway Cuties will get boiled alive or skewered by a war spear.

Up against a major waterway, the Castaway Cuties are forced to reckon with an entire army of Gillaxian fish bastards, more heavily armored and evil than any encounter with them yet. And since there's a few hundred of them a mile or so away, hopefully this won't take very long...

Guess what— the Castaway Cuties are now level 6! But will their new level help them escape the Gillaxian army? Maybe? It's a whole army and all, but hey it's fun to plan how to get a giant hammer across a river!

Now that everyone is above water and deciding what to do about the extra-wrinkly Gillaxian tied up in a hole, it's time to decide how to deal with Toody's extremely heavy, extremely hard to touch hammer. But first, some lamentations from the princess!

The Castaway Cuties hope to dispatch the strange sea hag whose lair they stumbled into, and who is now fighting them for the hammer. Hopefully they can walk out of this lake soon, or at least come up with an elaborate balloon hat scheme!

Oh great, some weird glowing eyes next to the god-hammer. Probably cool if the crew ignores it right? NOPE. The monster that stalked them for a few episodes survived the flood, and now it wants to play Tool Time with Toody.

Our Castaway Cuties have worked out a solution to the puzzle of the underwater dead-end tower, so surely the dungeon master has some very fair physics in mind. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Everything's fine. This is fine.

Um... oh. The Castaway Cuties just realized they've hit the top of a tower with no real exits. At the bottom of a megalake. While lugging a 250 pound magic hammer. Luckily they can breathe underwater for a while, so maybe they can walk out... Except for that whole top of a tower thing. Hopefully they're not pausing to think inside the den of a weird swamp monster. Wait, what's that? Damn...

Your darling Castaway Cuties have gotten themselves into quite a sticky wicket, dragging a 250 pound hammer across an evil castle at the bottom of an ocean-sized lake. So hey, why not start exploring some completely unknown areas and hope they don't get trapped? Seems safe!

The Castaway Cuties are on their way to retrieving the divine hammer! But oh yeah... it's at the bottom of a massive lake and it's very heavy. And maybe guarded by water monsters. Leave it to the Nerd Poker crew to make some surprising choices on how to turn these problems into problemade.

After a fierce battle with a notable casualty, followed by a uniquely Nerd Poker instruction to an NPC that they should go complete an entire dungeon all by themselves, the Castaway Cuties are left with one big question: what the hell are they supposed to do with this evil fish shaman? And will they kill him, or ACCIDENTALLY kill him as they preserve him?

The Castaway Cuties are going under the lake to get a magic hammer. Seems simple. No issues there. Probably a shallow lake with no monsters. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties bring their scrappy lake-beach battle to a conclusion as they hope to dive beneath the waves and recover an ancient hammer. Will an NPC get squished? Will the crew make a decision that perplexes even themselves only a few minutes later? Why this is Nerd Poker, of course.

Negotiations for the transformation of the fishy princess have reached a nadir and the Castaway Cuties may be about to throw down with some ugly pirahna-faced gillaxians. Hopefully we can go properly off the rails for a moment before the tense combat begins!