Jackie checks in after some solitude to delight you with some traditional relaxation chants courtesy of Buddha and encourage you to love yourself.

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Let this guided meditation bring you into the New Year with logic and no promise of a brighter tomorrow. Put down your vision boards and reflect on your consistently poor life decisions to abolish the toxic ideals of a fresh start. 

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Listen to this soothing meditation whilst experiencing uncontrollable road rage after being tailgated by an electric blue Hyandai with blacked out rims like you are in Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift. Namaste!

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Allegedly stretching is a thing in the wellness community, here is a guided relation stretching exercise that will probably land you in a chiropractor's office.

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This guided meditation is dedicated to Shaman Schimmel after entering a shame spiral about dominating conversations and hijacking social settings to perform self indulgent monologues because she gets bored with people easily.

Let this guided meditation assist you in your Thanksgiving mental preparation by exploring the ideals of gratitude and luxuriating in the realities of in-gratitude.

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This guided meditation is intended to instill eternal gratitude into your children to unite and prosper the family unit!

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Did you just open an Etsy shop and hire 13 interns for "experience" as compensation? Did you fracture your dandruff ridden scalp from shattering glass ceilings on the regular? Then this guided meditation is for you girlboss.

Shaman Schimmel guides wellness influencers on a spiritual journey towards self reflection, transparency and internal illumination via ring light.

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This extremely passive aggressive niche guided meditation is for men who refer to themselves as "creative directors" live in Mar Vista and/or Brooklyn and guffaw at anything mainstream. Get a real job loser. Namaste.

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Shaman Schimmel utilizes breathwork, affirmations and yoga poses to stimulate the sphincter and achieve digestive nirvana.

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Nourish and reinvigorate your body and treat it like the temple/ dumpster that encases your spirit. This guided meditation encourages nutrition and incites lifestyle changes.

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Let this deeply unsettling lackluster guided meditation encourage self love and acceptance.

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This episode is about accepting your sexually transactional role and empowering your vaginal chakra.

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This week's guided meditation is about embracing internal sadness and allowing yourself to wade in the waters of your own tears.

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Jackie leads an exercise to explore our inner creativity and then gets bored and decides to perform a spoken word poem instead.

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This episode is intended to celebrate the beauty of boundaries and to liberate you to enforce them as often as you desire. 

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Put down the bloody mary and Tylenol and let this guided meditation soothe you back into the beacon of health, wellness and hydration.

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This guided meditation is for anyone suffering from a broken heart looking for spiritual solace and the necessary push to move on.

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Shaman Schimmel leads you on a spiritual journey to live a life of financial abundance and drip drip divinity. Jeff Besoz and the Dali Llama could never.

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In this week's episode, we explore the psychological damage of excess apologizing and work on reprogramming our cerebral reflex to insincerely pursue forgiveness through mantras and role playing  therapy.

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This guided meditation teaches you how to be present whilst absent. Because true wellness and self care incorporates both. Preserve your battery. Glaze like a donut.

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Shaman Jackie Schimmel leads an inspiring morning meditation to minimize your self indulgent problems and pivot accordingly so you can have a nice week. Deflection is a vibe.

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Jackie embraces her creative journey by doing a freestyle fully improvised spoken word episode inspired by the elements of nature, universal affirmations and moral corruption. Love and light.

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Jackie breaks down the fraudulence of forgiveness and implores you to embrace holding a grudge. We do not dwell, but we do not wish you well. 

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This week we start the day with a gratitude meditation that will surely fill your heart with extreme appreciation that will lovingly carry throughout your day. Because at least you're not dead. Offensive Level 3.

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Shaman Schimmel offers non traditional grief counseling in the form of reframing, encouraging laughter through trauma and YOLO mentality.

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This guided meditation is to encourage physical activity, exercise and healthy lifestyle habits. Offensive Level 4.

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In today's lesson we learn how to cope and channel inner rage. Because anger deserves expression not suppression and can be a psychotic conduit for action. Offensive Level 4.

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This deep reflective meditation explores the theory that you might be the common denominator in all your life's trials and tribulations. Through harsh realization and metabolizing your myopic narcissism, we hope to achieve a vantage point that makes you less of an asshole. Namaste.

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Let this soothing guided meditation lull you to sleep and help you retrain your barely functioning cerebral cortex to experience the rest you may or may not deserve. Offensive Level 3.

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This guided meditative mantra is about severing toxic relationships and accepting inner hatred. We also explore the possibility that the toxic denominator is you. Offensive Level 3.

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Let this motivating manifesto give you permission to lower expectations for yourself by giving up on unrealistic dreams and accepting your dismal destiny. 

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Start your week of with a Monday mantra centered in self love. You may not be the most attractive, intellectual or kind but at least you’re alive. 

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This episode will help emotionally, physically and cerebrally prepare you for the spiritual journey ahead. Because what offends you, descends you. 

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This series led by Shaman Jackie Schimmel was created to eradicate toxic positivity, broaden your spiritual horizons and encourage self care through laughter and moral flexibility. Welcome to the future of wellness. 

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A series of guided merciless meditations, aggressive affirmations and maniacal mantras led by morally flexible spiritual advisor Jackie Schimmel. Wellness for the unwell.