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Submit ReviewRipped from the headlines (from 2019), we've got a whopper of a theory from fan favorite and incredibly funny man Ronnie Adrian. Ronnie suspects that actually, beloved Empire actor Jussie Smollett was telling the truth all along about his Chicago attack! And actually the cops covered it up! And also that actually deep fake video technology was available way earlier than anyone thinks! Listen up because you're about to learn a thing or two about justice, fruit, America, Lori Lightfoot, and child actors.
Think drinking water is good for you? Think again sheeple! Our guest week is (the inexplicably unrepped) Sarah Bebb and she's got some thoughts on what's really going on with water purifiers. Namely that good ol reliable weirdly cheap Brita filters aren't doing JACK to actually filter toxins out of our water, and that the government's to blame. And also capitalism! We also cover other kinds of water filters, celebrity breakups, and Alexis comes up with three puns for the price of one! Then we talk about other water filters again.
Well, well, well look what the cat dragged in! A tiny microphone monitoring everyone's speech! This week Katelyn and Alexis have brought their own theories to the table once again. Alexis believes the 1960s CIA project "Acoustic Kitty" didn't actually fail and our pets may not be as innocent as we think. Plus, Katelyn's got a hot theory about allergies that is sure to make you sneeze! Katelyn thinks City Planners are working with the Masons to keep us SLEEPY and unable to riot by intentionally planting trees that keep our allergies FLOWING.
If you were alive in 2007 you remember that the most important news of the year wasn't the war in Iraq - it was Britney Spears shaving her head and having some weird vibes with the paparazzi. But maybe that's not because we're shallow, maybe it's because that's what THEY want us to believe! Podcast host and comedian Colin J Morris suspects that the Bush administration was using Brit as a sleeper agent to distract us from the government's failures, and tbh it kinda makes sense!
One new world order! Two new world orders! HA HA HA! This week we've got funniest man in the world Jonny Svarzbein in the Lizard Lair, with a theory that will either ruin your childhood or make perfect sense. Jonny suspects that The Count, beloved Sesame Street character, is actually a vampire who's killing kids and is also a member of the... ahem... "cosmopolitan elites". Could the beloved kids show character be just another blood libel? Is Santa actually Christian? Who's actually watching shows on Tubi? And why won't you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street??
Picture this - you're a pastor at an evangelical Christian mega church, and donations are slipping. What are you gonna do? Well if Mark McConville (one of the best comedy podcasters ever to do it) is correct, what you're gonna do is fake a scandal, jet off to 'rehab', then sell a redemption narrative so compelling that Jesus Christ himself would be like 'woah'. Yes Mark suspects that some of these ministers going down for drug and affair scandals are just cynically plotting to raise more money for the church. Listen in this week for a surprisingly heartfelt conversation about the intersection between religion and capitalism, then a bunch of hot new ideas for gender neutral nicknames.
It's the political scandal that everyone's talking about right now - ripped straight from the headlines! This week our good bud Sydney O'Toole is back on the podcast to explain every single detail about how the Jesuits and the Pope conspired to assassinate Abraham Lincoln. Sydney's got the inside scoop straight from Sunday school about how John Wilkes Boothe was put up to his devious theatrical machinations by the Roman Catholic Church. Plus Sydney also tells Alexis and Katelyn everything about 90's nu-metal, how to sell a washing machine, and exactly what heaven will be like.
Matt Apodaca is known for three things. Liking cats. Being a nice person who everyone in podcasting loves. And caring more about Weezer than anyone else on the planet. And would someone who loves Weezer that much lie about the truth about their front man Rivers Cuomo? Namely the truth that ol 'Poindexter' Cuomo is in fact famously dead rockstar Kurt Cobain? Matt says he wouldn't! Yes this week we're exploring the theory that Kurt faked his own death to found the world's most beloved nerd rock band. Finally, Alexis gets to talk about music she likes!
Hello to all of our Valentines! It's your old pals Katelyn and Alexis back with another lil episode! This week, Katelyn's got a hot theory about couples and marriage! While Alexis has a romantic take on the Glitter Conspiracy - finally solving the great mystery! Plus, a very good way to avoid intruisive thoughts and more!
You might not know Ivan Ngo. But you know who probably does? The commissioneer of Major League Baseball, Rob Manfred JR. See Ivan suspects that Rob's making certain suspicious calls that hurt the Dodgers, specificially to hurt Ivan's feelings. It's not a conspiracy theory if they're really out to get you! Get comfy and pour yourself a big bowl of Applejacks, because we learn a lot about baseball this episode, including: who has the funniest names, the names of the shoes they wear, who most reminds Ivan of his step-dad, and which stadium has the thinnest air.
We all agree this return to work stuff is BS, right? It seems like bosses are dragging people back to work for no reason, and our good friend Todd McClintock has a theory about what they're really getting out of forcing us to put on real pants and come into the office. Todd suspects it's a big ol plot to keep property values in cities high, and morale low. We recorded this episode in person and got real silly, so listen in if you're a fan of business talk, genitalia jokes, best friends, and some meditations about the nature of labor. Fun!!
It's late January so you know what that means - time to hit the beach! We've got our buds Zach and Charlie of the delightful podcast Baywatch Watch here to explain a theory so radical, it'll make you wanna shred some gnar waves. The Bad Boys of Podcasting suspect that the US government created the show Baywatch to make more people want to be lifeguards, and that the lifeguard shortage that basically ruined last summer is in fact due to the cancellation of said inexplicably popular show. Was Hasselhoff single-handedly keeping the lifeguard industry afloat? And will Alexis' memes make more Eastern European kids want to come here to protect our pools? Find out more on this week's episode.
Taylor Swift. Love her or hate her, she's pretty much the biggest pop star in the world. And you might think you know everything about her personal life if you've ever casually looked at the internet between 2007 and 2023. But if you don't know Gaylor, you don't know Swift. Hilarious comedian and very serious swiftie Jess Svendsgaard is back on the pod to explain the theory that Taylor is queer and has been giving us hints all along, in her music, on her Instagram, and also by the way she kisses women on the mouth romantically in public. Is compulsory heterosexuality making music boring? Will Jess's birds ever become friends? And will this be the episode that finally drives Alexis to insist we never do a Taylor Swift episode again? Only time can tell...
We're back! And we brought our dear bud and hilarious person Erin Byrne with us. Yes that's right, not even a weird Covid episode from 6 months ago can stop us from sharing the truth with you - the truth about Bob Marley, the CIA, and the complex political machinations that might have lead to his assassination. Erin thinks that it wasn't just a rare form of cancer that took down Robert Nesta Marley, but that it was in fact the American government and network of operatives who wanted to preserve the status quo. Oh also a weird boot. Turn off your brain and listen to us talk about Jamaican post-revolutionary politics, wigs, nut allergies, milk, and of course, Rihanna.
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What's got 8 legs, a beak, and way too many brains. An octopus of course! Why, what did you think it was?This week we're talking 'pus with one of the greatest - comedian and filmmaker Erin Smith. And Erin thinks she may have discovered something shocking about the origins of the octopus, ie that they hitched a ride to earth on a comet in a disgusting theory known as panspermia. This week we're chopping it up about octopodes, whether squid have smart, genitals both human and cosmic, and what the dang heck is going on under the sea.
Michael Dean's back and he's different. He's stronger, blonder, and it's all thanks to a charismatic 'doctor' and a pharmaceutical miracle. This week we're diving into the theory that our friend Michael has discovered some of the deepest truths of the universe, and that the Powers That Be are trying to stop him from spreading the truth via homebrew nootropics and adaptogens. Will he shatter reality as we know it? Will everyone who listens venmo him thousands of dollars? And does Alexis' new book have the power to predict the future? All will be revealed.
Hi! Us again! Once again we want to show you a new podcast we've been working on. This week, check out Comfort Creatures! Alexis's new show she hosts with Ella McLeod. It's a fun, cozy show where Ella and Alexis chat about the animals in our lives, this particular episode Katelyn was our guest so it's extra good! We'll be back next week with more of our regularaly scheduled programming!
Hi we missed you! We're sorta kinda almost back, but first we have two fun new podcasts to tell you about. This week it's Katelyn's new show, The Monster Line! It's an improv comedy podcast from the geniuses at QCode, hosted by Katelyn and Adal Rifai, and it's set in a world where all monsters and cryptids and urban legends exist, and they all have personal problems they need help solving. Have a listen, subscribe if you like it, and stay tuned to hear about Alexis' new show next week!
We warned you! This episode? This episode is just for goofin! Our wonderful friend and guest got the dang coronoa virus so instead of making her do a bunch of mental work, we just had a good ol' time! We give out some food recs, update you on our latest projects, and explain the podcasts we would make if we had the time/energy/will power. This is our last episode before we go on our annual dip in the pool for the summer o make sure you're following us on social media! Twitter: @lizardpeoplepod IG: @lizardpeoplepodcast
You hear it at the doctor's office, from your mom, even from bus ads - you've GOT to eat your vegetables. But why? Who says? And are vegetables really even a thing?? Our spectacularly funny pal Vic Michaelis stopped by the Lizard Lair to discuss the possibility that vegetables aren't real, we've been sold that lie by corporations, and we're being hoodwinked by - among others - those dang Obamas. Is the Dole company the most evil criminal syndicate America has ever known? Are potatoes tubers? And what's your favorite Adam Sandler movie? All these mysteries will be unraveled as we discuss the humble veggie.
This week it's an Alexis and Katelyn extravaganza, as we explore the wonderful world of... science! Why did T-Rexes have such teeny arms? Why are mushrooms so weird? And why is David Attenborough so friggin confident about what apatosaurs sounded like?? All these questions and more will be discussed on this week's episode, when we explore some of our favorite mysteries of nature, and present our own personal highly researched explanations for them. Hop on your favorite search engine, because this one's about to get science-y.
Everyone loves Vegas, from the sleaziest of professional gamblers to the wholesomest of Midwestern families. But what if Vegas wasn't just fun for the whole family? What if it was fun for the whole GALAXY. That's right, artist and all-around very funny person Katie Plattner has a theory that Vegas is also a vacation destination for aliens, who've been visiting Sin City since the 1950's. Katie's got a lot of evidence to back this up, including the undeniable fact that everyone loves the Rat Pack. You hear that Alexis? EVERYONE. Along the way we also chat about culture-defining haircuts, French-Canadian circus performers, the Area 51 raid that we all definitely participated in, and dog food.
Picture this - you and all your buddies are in a basement slash Little Caesar's slash Papa John's slash sacrifice chamber. Sound like a dream come true? Then maybe you should consider a career in Congress! This week our pal Adam Peacock (host of My Neighbors Are Dead), came by to talk about the spookiest month of the year - April! Adam suspects that the US Government takes a few weeks every year to sacrifice a bunch of people - specifically people from one Babylonian family - to ensure their continuing power for the rest of the year. In this episode we address what makes April so special, what VHS videos they might be watching down in that basement, where do the blood go, and why you have to pay a bunch of money in the US just for the privilege of paying your own taxes. Thank goodness it's May!
The old man of the forest, they call him. The Yeti of the west. That's right, our friend Michael McMillian is back on the show! And Michael's talking about none other than Bigfoot, Sasquatch, the Blur Ape. So many have hunted for Sasquatch, and yet there's never been any conclusive proof of their existence. But maybe there's a darker reason for that. Maybe... the US Government is hiding them away for their own evil purposes. Could Bigfeet be real? And could they have magic powers so astounding they're basically an entire comic book store in one big hairy bod? Gonna have to listen to find out!
It's another episode where Alexis and Katelyn can finally cut loose and talk about whatever they want to without one of these dang guests who keep showing up to cramp their style. And what is it they want to talk about? Why bathroom stuff, of course! Isn't it weird that women's bathrooms have little private caves to hide in, and men's bathrooms make you whip it out in front of everyone? So weird it just might be... the result of a conspiracy! Katelyn's got a theory that men's bathrooms are like that because of advertisers capitalizing on our cultural wang-obsession. And Alexis has a poem that she wrote back in high school that hints at a conspiracy to sell more shoes via nefarious restroom design. Together, these theories come together to explain why we've just decided it's ok for all your coworkers to know when you're pooping. CW for this one folks, it discusses genitals and transphobia!
Serial season one. CIA talent shows. Disco. Train rides to Bucharest. What do all these things have in common? They all come together in a glorious symphony of a theory in this week's episode, featuring the extremely delightful DC Pierson! DC's got a little theory about our old friends the CIA, and their possible connection to the epic geopolitical ballad Wind of Change by Scorpions. Could some wannabe songwriter from Langley have written the song? What other little ditties might the CIA have written? And will Alexis beat her speed record for solving this week's Wordle? Find out in this extremely fun, extremely silly ep.
The year was 1998. Eagle Eye Cherry ruled the airwaves. The first Google doodle was about to drop. And in Delaware, zombies are crawling up from the earth. If that last thing is surprising to you, this episode is going to blow your tiny mind! Listener fave Jacquis Neal is back in the Lizard Lair with some truly explosive news about The Walking Dead - namely that it might be a documentary. Could zombies be even now wriggling through the earth below your very feet, created by the Covid virus before any of us knew it existed? Idk maybe!! Join us for a celebration of all things undead, late-90's, and AMC.
Prepare yourself to get schooled, because we have a real life professor on this ep and he's taking us to film academy! Dr. Andrew Scahill stopped by with a freaky deaky theory on where Nicolas Cage gets his unholy acting talent, and on why he seems to be the only guy in Hollywood who's allowed to repeatedly bomb and then make sleeper indie hits. Could it be because he found an occult artifact and summoned a demonic entity and sold his soul for an oscar? Maybe!!! We get way into film theory this episode, as well as Nic Cage's career, industry nepotism, and our favorite horror movies.
The heavyhitters of podcasting are at it again! That's right, it's just Katelyn and Alexis this week. Katelyn's got a HOT theory about Julia Fox! Is she a mastermind? Is she extremely good at marketing? Does she just have an excellent publicitst? Find out what we've uncovered! Plus, Alexis has a little theory about conspiracy theories. A conspirocy theory theory, if you will!
Great fruit? More like GRAVE fruit!! It's the return of our friend Ele Woods, and she's got a few things about America's favorite breakfast fruit. Namely, that it's incredibly weird and inexplicable properties can only be explained by it being a special delivery from the aliens who seeded life on earth as we know it. For instance, did you know that grapefruit makes your medicine either not work or work way too well? That it's origins can't be explained? That lots of celebrities have made weird cryptic references to it?? Maybe these things are all just coincidences. Or maybe they're a result of a plot millions of years old to make us sterile. Either way, pretty crazy!
It's a blast from the past this week, because the Havana Syndrome is back in the news! This ep from 2019 was either eerily prescient or total goofballery. You decide, dear listener! In 2016, a group of American diplomats at the US embassy in Cuba got sick. Weird sick. Many reported dizziness, memory loss, headaches, hearing problems, and more. But what happened to these intrepid civil servants? And could their sickness be tied to something nefarious? Mel Cowan thinks so, and Mel Cowan is very very smart. Mel has a theory that is so devious, so terrifying, so confusing, that it will change how you think about microwaves forever. Prepare to learn about political intrigue, audio engineering, the navy, Tanganyika, bugs, and puppies. Oh my god this puppy.
It's the movie that changed horror forever, and made it ok to see inside someone's nostrils on the big screen. The Blair Witch Project was one of the biggest movies of the 90's - but what if it wasn't a movie at all? What if it was actually a genuine documentary and the filmmakers covered up the actual horror with clever marketing? WHAT IF?? Nina Concepcion is back in the Lizard Lair with a new addition to the Ninaverse - a theory that the Blair Witch Project was real as hell. Along the way we also cover some Elvis facts, discuss the nature of witches, kvetch about Hollywood, and Katelyn says the filthiest thing she's ever said in her life and Alexis is disappointed by it.
Yosemite! Bryce Canyon! Petrified Forest! The national parks are often called America's best idea - acres of untouched land in which visitors can experience true wild nature. Except that that's all TOTAL BS. Returning fave Patrick McDonald thinks there's a nefarious secret behind the creation of the national parks, one that was kept for decadey by famous outdoors guy Theodore Roosevelt. Patrick suspects that actually, TR created the parks to protect ordinary Americans from the thread of... the wendigo! Listen in for lots of spooky wendigo chat, discussions of hot and nasty eagly intercourse, lots of talk about everyone's mutual friend Mike, and the truth about badgers.
Your pals Alexis and Katelyn are just pal-ing around again this ep. And what better time to be with family than at Christmas! In this mini-ish episode, we get into the real story about Santa Claus, aka Saint Nick, aka Kris Kringle, aka Coca-Cola's most shameless shill. Alexis suspects that Ol Father Christmas is actually... old Jesus! There's a lot of evidence to consider, and along the way you'll hear the lots of other Santa nicknames, some incredibly blasphemous takes on the Bible, both of our feelings about The Witcher, and perhaps most important of all, the magical story of how Santa chose to use reindeer for his magical sleigh mobile. Ho ho ho, happy holidays little lizards!
Ok we had to bring Christiana back because our resident pop music expert (and genius podcast producer) has a take so fiery hot it will bring hundreds of 30-something women to their knees. Christiana thinks that one Taylor Swift, brilliant songwriter and master of the art of the celebrity breakup, lied to us. More specifically, that she lied to us about writing her seminal 10-minute long magnum opus All Too Well back in 2011. SHOCKING. Listen this is a niche one, but listen in for some Swiftiness, pop analysis, incredible scatting, rage at John Mayer, and Alexis being bored out of her gourd. It's a fun one!
Hark! Be not afraid, because we have a festive holiday ep coming your way! Our beloved Dave Child is back in the Lizard Lair, and he's got some pretty crazy ideas about cherubim, seraphim, and all the rest. Dave suspects that the feathery friends that announced Jesus' birth, and will be blowing the ol' trumpet at the end of days, are in fact interdimensional beings that travel between realms warning us about danger and giving us a heads up about pregnancies. Are they divine? Are they demonic? And might they just possibly be familiar to listeners of previous episodes as some kind of man-animal hybrid? Also, are they trying to sleep with us? All will be revealed in this extra-festive episode.
Chronic Lyme! It's less refreshing than it sounds. This week comedy writer Dana Bell stopped by with the inside story of the tick-borne illness that everyone's talking about. Where did it come from? Why did everyone suddenly start getting it in the 80's? And could it have anything to do with a secret Pentagon lab right next to the town where it was discovered? All these questions and more get sort of answered in this extra spicy ep. With bonus info on antibiotics and how they effect the bowels (spoiler: it's not great), drinks from the late 90's, the truth about Nixon, and a couple of mice that honestly deserve an Oscar.
You ever read the Bible? That thing's crazy. They're always talking about big gleaming clouds abducting people, and miraculous cures that are far too advanced for the time, and other futuristic things like extra fish. So it's not a huge leap of logic to start thinking about Jesus might have been a dang alien. Our guest this week is musician/composer/sound guy/dear friend of the family Grant Martz, and he's pretty dang passionate about the possibility that rather than being some omnipotent Sky Daddy, God is actually a collection of aliens who are doing a kind of bad job trying to save the human race. On this ep Alexis, Katelyn, and Grant get real real about religion, bigotry, jet skis, the nature of time, rocks, and how cool Jesus was.
It's a Very Special Episode this week folks - we're just hanging out and having fun! No guest, no theory, no rules. Since Katelyn didn't book anyone for this week, your two hosts decided to chat about conspiracy theories in the news and bring up some personal theories. We're covering everything, from the history of Sedona, AZ, to the death of JFK Jr., to what those kooky QAnon goofballs are up to these days, to whether ley lines are real or just something our hippie parents believed in for some reason. Kick back and relax because it's girl's night, and you're invited!
It's that time of year that makes you want to pop a tray of cookies in the oven, snuggle under some blankets, and snort a few lines of nutmeg. Just kidding please don't do that!! On this episode we're learning all about how one quaint British tv programme is the instigator of a devious plot to get us all high on a common household spice. Nick Casalini (of the delightful Muriel's Murders) is here to explain the shocking links between the Great British Baking Show, and the compound in nutmeg that gets people gonged as hell (and also makes them poop and pass out). He suspects GBBO may just be a delivery system for a drug that will keep us all complacent and distracted while the Global Elites rob us blind. And along the way we'll hear about the history of the spice trade, 'modern slavery', and Nick's absolutely bonkers nutmeg experience. Cozy!
He's back! That's right, Stephen King is the subject of an episode once again. And ol Tricky Stevie is being accused... of murder! Or, well, maybe manslaughter. The wildly talented Nikki Osborne is on the 'cast this week to talk about the theory that Stephen King deliberately caused the death of Stanley Kubrick. Why? Because he freakin hated his adaptation of The Shining. And he may have had a point! We're really getting into it this week, with some film theory, another bad take from Katelyn about art, a discussion of diseases of the heart, and of course a heaping helping of love for Shelley Duvall.
Our dear friends are back in the Lizard Lair, and they've got an extra spooky conspiracy theory for you! Todd and Jessica McClintock make a triumphant return to tell us all about the British royal family and their reanimation shenanigans. They suspect that Liz, Wills, and all the rest are actually Frankenstein monsters, sewn-together corpses that take the best parts of the royal blood line and smoosh them together with hot body parts of regular dead people. This eerie theory weaves together Mary Shelley, Lord Byron, WAP, juicy butts, American presidents, various accents, and a whole lot of goofing. Buckle up babies because we're recording in person and we're getting goofy. Happy Halloween!
We've got vaccines for polio, and mumps, and Covid-19, and even something called Hib (seriously, look it up). So why on earth don't we have a vaccine for the common cold? What are these scientists even doing all day?? The exceptionally funny Kathy Yamamoto is on the show this week to dive deep into the shady world of Big Kleenex/Big NyQuil/Big Hot Toddy and their devious plan to kill cold vaccines before they can cause them to lose a bunch of money. It's a complex plot that also involves mean nurses, sickly rhinos, ThE eCoNoMy, and the dumbest lab technicians you can possibly imagine. Learn the shocking truth!!
She was a pop punk princess at the top of the world with a #1 album. She was a clone of that pop punk princess who was grown in a vat in Canada. Can we make it any more obvious??? This week we're getting into a new take on the theory that Avril Lavigne died in the early 2000's and was replaced by a body double. Only this time, we're getting sci-fi with it. Let hilarious producer and comedian Christiana Morgenroth explain. And along the way you'll learn all about Alexis, Christiana, and Katelyn's early teen years and the powerful (and sometimes disturbing) ((and always embarrassing)) impact that pop-punk had on us all.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? And could they be... a cannibal? The Everything Reviewed boys are back with a theory so dark, so disturbing, that it just might ruin your childhood. See, Joey and Justin think that Mr. Krab's famous sandwiches might just be stuffed with crab meat. What else could be so delectable that it gets squids addicted and causes butt-related explosions?? Tune in for lots of tush talk, along with a brief history of everyone's childhood tv viewing, and lots of hummus talk.
The spooky season is upon us, and it's time we finally discuss the well-known and well-supported theory that the world's most famous horror writer is himself a ghost. But not just any ghost. No, today we're getting into the theory that Stephen King is in fact a thousand year old ghost who smuggled his way over to the United States of America purely to get revenge on the North American Indigenous people by way of writing really racist books. If you're wondering how he got here, why he just sort of hung out for 500 years of American history, and how he's getting away with it, our good friend the hilarious comedian Joey Clift will explain it all. Sit back and relax as we cruise through 1000 years of mystical and spiritual European history.
We're back baby! Hope everyone had a great summer because it's time to talk about assassination and the Deep State. Friend of the show Yaki Margulies has returned to tell us all about the mysterious murder of John Lennon, and its possible ties to that boogeyman of most American mishaps, the CIA. How did the worst Beatle end up dead at the hands of some weird guy from Texas? Did it really have anything to do with famously annoying YA novel Catcher in the Rye? What happened to Bob Marley's foot? And what's the Yoko Ono of it all? Katelyn and Alexis are delighted to bring you the answers to these questions and more in this new season of... Lizard People.
It's the last ep of the season before we take our summer break, and boy is it some beachy fun! Our longtime friend and first time guest Justin Michael stopped by the Lizard Lair to explain all about the sneaky things Universal Studios did to introduce a new dumb non-animatronic King Kong attraction in the 2000's. Like burn down half the damn theme park. And lie to a bunch of musicians. And sneak legos into a little boy's room. Think this sounds weird already? Just you wait. And while you're at it, listen to Justin's new podcast Nature Talks to Itself! And also, have a great summer!
If you hear the words 'Game Theory' and picture a bunch of old dudes in glasses at Princeton talking about Soviet subs, you are a blind fool. The ideas behind game theory were only called game theory in the mid-20th century. But they've been around for a long long time, and they just might have been first discovered and described by everyone's favorite romantic novelist. That's right, we're talking Austen baby! Allie and Mia from P.S. I Love RomComs think that Jane is the real, uncredited inventor of game theory. And they want to set history right by explaining her masterful depictions of human interaction as a game. Sound boring? Prepare to be amazed at how fun this episode is.
Are you ready to get EXCITED about SCIENCE??? Our dear friend Ben Dietzel is back on the podcast, and this time he's finally, definitely, for sure figured out what's going on with the earth. And actually the whole universe. Ben's got a bee in his bonnet about the Electric Universe theory, aka the Plasma Universe theory, aka the idea that the universe is extremely full of plasma and it's the reason for all the weird stuff that happens that science can't quite explain. Is plasma the reason that galaxies look like that? Does plasma account for the north pole? And what is this metaphor of Alexis' with the hair and the marble? All these questions and more will be answered on this extremely smart and well explained ep.
Lesbians! You know em, you love em, you are em. But what if we told you that lesbians were actually an invention of the Central Intelligence Agency? What if you were to learn that the very existence of lesbians is an elaborate scam dating back hundreds of years to distract women and keep the patriarchy in power? Sound confusing? You don't even know. This week the truly delightful writer and comedian Anna Salinas stopped by to explain the connections between queerness, Emergen-C, the ancient Greeks, J Edgar Hoover, and rugby teams. It's an all-timer episode that may shock you, but will definitely make you think hard about women and their soft soft lips.
What if aliens exist and they just think we're kind of boring? This is the provocative question bravely asked by our guest this week, returning fave Mel Cowan. Mel's ready to dive in to the Zoo Hypothesis, the idea that aliens are out there keeping an eye on our planet, not bugging us, just living their own lives. Buckle up for a nice kind episode full of musings about the nature of humanity, ponderings upon what it means to really communicate, jokes about Scooby Doo and Sea Monkeys, super niche references to LA improv, and sandwich talk. And don't forget to get Dos'd!
If you've ever shopped at a Trader Joe's, you know the deep and sense of doom that leak out of those palaces of peanut butter pretzels. But why are they so weirdly built, and why are the parking lots such nightmares to navigate? This week, returning champ Jessica McClintock is here to explain her theory on why the parking lots, the aisles, and sometimes even the food in a Trader Joe's grocery store are so friggin weird. Join us for a tale of corporate sliminess, urban anxiety, and seasonal kringle.
These dang governments. Are they just incompetent dinguses who are terrible at keeping the roads in driveable condition? Or are they Machiavellian geniuses who are intentionally imprisoning us in a jail made of asphalt and billboards and... like... railroad ties. Friends of the show Ashlyn Anstee and Grant Pardee are back and teaming up to talk about how governments keep infrastructure terrible so that we all move slower and pay more money and don't get to drive the speeds we really want to. Tune in for a comprehensive discussion between four people who definitely totally understand city planning and budgeting. And then go listen to Grashlyn Party!
You know that feeling you get when you pound an energy drink and then put on your JNCOs and punch a wall? Could that feeling possibly be... from Satan?!? Ray of sunshine Nina Concepcion is back on the show this week, and she's got some information about Monster Energy that you're definitely going to want to hear. Nina suspects that Monster Energy came from that prince of darkness, that angel of pain, that nasty man, Lucifer Morningstar himself. And along the way we'll also discuss stuff like Talmudic numerology, early 2000's search engines, misheard songs, who's most likely to be eating prunes, and demonic pets.
Jesus Christ. You know him, you love him. But have you heard the theory that Jesus didn't actually die on Good Friday? That he in fact just kind of passed out as a result of sleepy drugs just like Romeo in that play? And that the whole thing was kind of a political stunt? If you haven't (or honestly even if you have) you're gonna want to listen in on this episode with dear friend of the show and host of the new podcast Sydney to Sydney, Sydney O'Toole! Lil Wayne's #1 fan also has some pretty controversial ideas about Jesus, and she's gonna let you have em. This ep features some real deep talk about religion, so you might wanna read the entire bible to prepare.
Stop the presses! We're finally doing a topical episode. That's right - this week the hilarious co-hosts of Crush Fictionally, Michelle and Kim, stopped by to talk about the Shrimp Guy Saga and the possibility that the whole thing was a damn scam. Michelle and Kim think the whole thing smells fishy, and they suspect the culprit is the shrimp smuggler itself, Cinnamon Toast Crunch's parent company General Mills. Did a marketing person make this all up? Did General Mills' gamble pay off and reward them with increased share prices? Is Shrimp Guy the real piece of rat poop in this baffling tale of allergens and greed? Buddy, you're gonna want to listen to this one.
Remember when Nevada spent like 18 months counting the votes back in 2020? And remember how they refused to hurry up even as an insurrection was fomenting? And remember how people like to gamble in Nevada? Well this week's guest thinks these terrible memories just might be related. Podcast host Zevon Odelberg stopped by to recount (hehe) his scandalous theory on why it took forever to find out who won the presidential election Nevada, and it just might have something to do with the casinos, the mob, sexy showgirls, and steak dinners. Panamanians, we're on to you!
Dontcha just love Rian Kountzhouse? America's sweetheart of podcasting is back in the Lizard Lair, and this week he brings us a theory that is incredibly personal. Rian thinks that his adorable toddler Tate was delivered by stork. Yes, literally by a stork. And he also thinks that all human babies everywhere are also delivered by stork. Maybe also crane. Definitely a big white waterfowl. This episode is exactly as bonkers as you think it's gonna be and features some absolutely filthy language from Rian, Katelyn, and even Alexis. And there WILL be surprise cameos. Get your diapers on little babies, it's a wild one.
They're baaaaack! The lovable lads from Hollow Public Radio came back by the Lizard Lair, and this time we're talking bird people. That's right - Grant, Alexis, and Michael have a theory involving the Blue Avians, a race of superintelligent benevolent interdimensional beings who just want to heighten our vibrations. But there's a dark shadow to our feathered friends, a malevolent force trying to ruin their kindly plans. What evil force is that? You're gonna have to listen to find out! Featuring special bonus appearances from Toucan Sam, Alexis's mom, jaguar gods, and the Inquisition.
What's up with 5G? Is it a harmless tech upgrade that's making our phones faster? Is it a devious plot by the global elites to scramble our brains and give us cancer? Or is it... a third thing??? This week podcaster and founder of the Black Women In Comedy Festival Marian Yesufu dropped by to explain the real 5G plot. And it's not what you think - see, Marian is pretty sure 5G is yet another scam to get us to buy more stuff and live crappier lives. Along the way we also discuss baby barf, the state of tech in Nigeria, things Instagram is making us buy, and of course how much we all hate Zuckerberg. It's a wild one!
Ahh, Mount Rushmore. A monument to a bunch of slave owners hacked into a sacred mountain that basically no one wanted. But what if there's more to the big ol presidential busts in South Dakota? What if there's a secret doomsday bunker hidden beneath the mountain itself, kept secret for almost a century?? Because John Potter (comedian and aspiring gay icon) has done the work, has read the receipts, and believes there is something weird going on in the Black Hills. Listen up as we discuss mysterious caves, goofy names, confederate dinguses, and which presidents were the most forgettable.
Hello cutie pies! We've got a cute lil re-post of our LIVE show! Area 51 (Sarah Claspell, Dickie Copeland, and Jessica Jean Jardine) joined us on stage to PROVE that Nazis were aliens. We miss live comedy and events and this is a sweet little stroll down memory lane! Plus, we got busy and didn't have enough time to record this week! We'll be back next week with a HOT FRESH ep for your sweet little ears!
What's the biggest whoopsie you've ever done? Crashing your mom's car? Replying all to an email where you were talking shit about a coworker? How bout accidentally shooting the sitting president of the United States? Prepare to feel wayyyy better about your own mistakes as we cover this week's theory with amateur historian and excellent guest Mike O'Dea. Mike believes that it wasn't the CIA or the Mob or Castro who whacked John Fitzgerald Kennedy that day in Dallas. No, it was a hapless Secret Service guard who got more than he bargained for with his fancy new gun. For all the details - including what we think of Gun Boys, who's watched the Zapruder film, and who the real heroes of the saga are - listen in.
You might be thinking 'gee, what's a cute little theory about a kids tv show doing on this feed? Isn't this gonna be too innocent and sweet for Lizard People'. Well think again IDIOT. Comedy cutie Allyn Pintal came by to talk about the Rugrats Theory, and it might be our bleakest show ever. This theory holds that none of the Rugrats are real, Angelica made them all up in a grief-stupor, and everyone on the show is poorly dealing with horrific trauma. Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
Two handsome martial arts movie actors. Two breakthrough movies. Two mysterious deaths. AND they were father and son??? Things are getting spooky. This week we're joined by podcast host extraordinaire Adam Peackock, and he's talking all things Lee. See, Adam's seen The Crow more than a hundred times, and Enter The Dragon at least once, and he thinks there's something off about the deaths of Bruce Lee and Brandon Lee. Adam suspects foul play on the part of Chinese organized crime, and also maybe monks, and possibly some sort of curse? Look you're just gonna have to hear it for yourself.
We're getting political this week, honey! Comedian and podcast host Nick Turner is a true believer in a theory so controversial, it got Trump banned from Twitter and fired from being president (not actually). Nick's done some history research, and he thinks notorious terrorist leader and tape enjoyer Osama Bin Laden was not actually killed in the 2011 raid on a compound in Abbottabad. No, Bin Laden actually died of natural causes and then his body was schlepped around the Middle East for a decade until the US could finally make use of it. So is Kathryn Bigelow a liar? Were Obama and Clinton just watching someone play a video game in that notorious picture? Is Seal Team 6 just six guys? Could the government be... deceiving us?!?!!? The answers to those questions and more are all in this episode.
Do you like music? How about drugs? Bohemian living? Getting crabs from a member of the Mamas and the Papas? Oh boy do we have a fun ep for you this week! Comedy sweetheart Dan Lippert dropped by to discuss the so-called Laurel Canyon Scene of the late 60's and early 70's, and how it relates to the anti-war movement in America. See, Dan's got a nasty suspicion that the CIA stuck their witchy little fingers in and encouraged the growth of a chill, drugged-out music scene as an alternative to the growing anti-Vietnam war protests that were starting to become a real problem for the government. And yes - Dan, Alexis, and Katelyn all talk about their favorite chill-ass folk musicians. PS - Patreon subscribers get access to a little bonus content music playlist this week, so if you wanna see it you gotta subscribe!
Are you ready for some FOOTBALL!! The unbelievably funny Allison Fields visited the Lizard Lair to discuss her theory about star quarterback and weird diet enjoyer Tom Brady, and boy is it a doozy. Allison thinks that Tommy Boy has been hiding a dark secret since his early days on the professional football circuit - a secret that will shock and disgust you. No, it's not about the level of physical intimacy he shares with his family. It's about his robot parts! This week we'll get to the bottom of whether Brady is hiding a cyborg body under that America's sweetheart smile, whether a person can live on his weird ass diet, what Giselle's whole deal is, and yeah also the son kissing. Mostly the son kissing.
Cast your mind back to the year 2003. 'The Simple Life' just premiered. Malta has finally joined the European Union. And a coalition of nations is about to invade Iraq, spearheaded by accomplished painter and war criminal George W Bush. What are they looking for? WMD's? Oil? Or could it be that Iraq has long jealously guarded the greatest secret of all time - that they have a DANG STARGATE! Hollywood's sweetheart Hannah Garces stopped by to talk about the possibility that Saddam had a gateway through space and time, as well as her dad's previous jobs, what's up with ziggurats, and the spookiest grandma coincidence you ever did hear.
He's back, and he's finished the Fincher movie! Cast your mind back many a year to when Michael Dean first appeared on Lizard People to argue that Ted Cruz killed 5 young people in California and then wrote a bunch of cryptic letters to the cops. Remember how Michael based it on a few minutes of the movie Zodiac? Well in 2020 he finally had time to finish the movie and to reconsider his conspiracy theory, and the result is an episode with a twist you'll never see coming. Listen as these two old friends duke it out, Lizard style. And if you haven't listened to that episode yet and don't have context for this conversation, honestly, don't. Not worth it.
We're finally doing it! After many long years of this one going around on the internet and in your weird racist uncles email chains, we're finally covering the theory that George Soros pays people to go out and protest. And boy do we have the perfect guest for it - returning champ Jake Regal is pulling no punches. This week we're talking Jews, nazis, Jewish nazis, blood libel, regular libel, California's unemployment system, different kinds of heroin, and of course, Jews - sorry I mean globalists. It's truly one of our wildest episodes yet. Also if you feel like it don't forget to check out the merch! https://www.redbubble.com/people/LizardPeople/shop
We got a bonafide author in the house folks! Chris Vola, creator of I Is For Illuminati: An A-Z Guide To Our Paranoid Times stopped by the Lizard Lair to walk us through one of the theories from his book. And boy is it a doozy - Chris has a lot of evidence to support the theory that in prehistoric pre-human times, giant proto-humans roamed what is now the USA, making giant axes and creating giant babies and generally just hanging out. Chris is a true expert and this is a deeply educational but also verrry fun ep - along the way we learn about the racist history of the Smithsonian, the roots of local journalism in the US, pre-colonization cities, bone thieves, and of course those freaky deaky Mormons. It's a treat!
This week it might seem like the government can't even control an election. But of course, as we've learned time and again on this podcast, there are always deeper levels to what the government is actually doing. And this ep we're joined by the truly delightful podcaster Tess Lynch to learn about one thing the US government may be playing their 5D chess with - the weather! This grand unified theory ties together chem trails, hurricanes, polymers, big canons, climate change, Gore v Bush, Kate Bush, radio waves, slime videos, and way way more. Tess came prepared and you WILL learn something from this episode.
Alison Stevenson is back to tackle another Halloween conspiracy! This time, we get deep into the nitty gritty nasty truth - that Halloween is just an elaborate plot of Satan's to feed off the fear of children. Yes, Satan is real. Yes, he eats human fear via his junk. Yes, Alison and Katelyn learn a lot about Christianity from Alexis on this episode. If you're looking for a truly disgusting podcast episode about the spooky season, you've come to the right place.
Truly we are living in the golden age of reality tv. But there's one show that stands out from the pack for the sheer weirdness of its participants, and it's built in ticking clock drama. That's right baby, this week we're learning what's really happening with 90 Day Fiance! Returning fave Erika Curry is here to explain the murky history behind the creation of the show, and it's possible real goal - to convince potential immigrants that Americans are garbage weirdos who will ruin your life. Katelyn and Alexis have a lot to learn about the show so expect recaps, reenactments, horrified yelping, and lots of drama. Plus an epic takedown of the Coast Guard.
The fat lazy cat that America can't get enough of - yep, we're talking about Pusheen! Just kidding, read the title, this episode is about Garfield. And we have none other than Garfield-meme-creator and tv writer Joey Clift on the mic to unravel a complex and shocking conspiracy theory that will change the way you see the beloved comic strip forever! Joey's pretty sure that the lasagna-loving feline is in fact the creation of Soviet Russia, a tool designed to dismantle the American economy by undermining the productiveness of the American worker. Did Garfield cause the economy to go into a tailspin more than once? Are spiders the only ones who spin webs? Is Nermal Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Who is the Benedict Arnold of syndicated comic strips? All these questions and more will be answered once you press play.
Nobody tell Lin-Manuel that we know!! This week our guest is the truly hilarious Jacquis Neal, and he's bringing a theory to the table that will shock you to your core. Because thing is, how does a musical about a bastard/orphan/ son of a whore and a Scotsman that no one's ever heard of go on to make a BILLION DOLLARS. Doesn't that seem weird to you? And how the show is obsessed with New York and banks and stuff? Doesn't that feel off??? Plus, how about the fact that Jacquis has first hand knowledge about the theatrical world and he says there's something fishy about the whole thing! The evidence is all here that the US government had a sneaky little hand in producing Hamilton and making sure it was a success, so you better not throw away your shot... to listen to this ep. Ugh sorry.
Or is it pronounced Van Ghraacgh. Anyhoo, have you heard the one about how famous and beloved painter Vincent Van Gogh (from Starry Night and the Doctor Who episode) might have actually been murdered? Podcast producer extraordinaire Gabe Danon has a theory that Vinny didn't kill himself but was actually manslaughtered by a nasty little teen cowboy cosplayer who loved guns and bullying. While he explains that whole mess, Gabe and Katelyn also discuss yogurt, the terror of groups of teens, French dads, paint snacks, the fallibility of memory, and so much more. TW for suicide on this one babies, protect your neck!
Celebs, they're just like us! Sometimes they're approached by a CIA handler who convinces them to carry out covert missions in areas of the world that diplomats can't access! Or so Drew Spears, comedian and podcast host, would have you think. Drew is pretty sure that most major stars (and lots of directors and gaffers too) are more or less working for the government as part-time assets, doing a little light spying wherever they go. Does The Rock have a little side hustle infiltrating the Middle East? When Tarantino takes a break from tweaking toes, is he reporting back to the Pentagon? You're gonna have to listen to find out!
And we're back! Ok so what if there were an explanation for why some people commit crimes. And what if the solution also explained why the US crime rates peaked in the 90's and has been falling ever since? And also, what if it were all the government's fault? Our guest this week is returning podcast pro Winston Carter, and he's got a theory that he's real passionate about that just may explain it all. Winston thinks that the answer to most of America's problems might be in our pipes, our paint chips, and our car exhaust. And you better believe that the Lead-Crime Hypothesis also explains George Bush, racist incarceration policies, and why parents just don't get it!
Hey buddies! We're taking a little summer break, and we should be back some time in September. Meanwhile here are some recommendations on other podcasts to tide you over. HAGS!
Quick! Go watch The Room and then get back to us. Not the Brie Larson one, the other one. Ok now doesn't it seem like that movie was probably made by an alien with no ideas of how human beings actually behave? The hilarious podcast host and stand-up Babs Gray stopped by to discuss auteur Tommy Wiseau and his possible extraterrestrial origins. Babs has a lot of evidence behind her, and along the way we also deal with what to call a group of eels, how aliens make money, where to buy a hyper-realistic baby doll, and why some people get horny for chocolate.
Have you ever slowed a Nicki Minaj song way down and listened to the vocals? No? That's ok, why would you. But someone did, and that gave birth to a conspiracy theory so strange, so confusing, so thrilling, that we simply had to cover it. Some people think that Nicki sounds a whole lot like a sped up Jay-Z, and the delightful Angela Gulner is back on the pod to convince us all that Mr. Carter actually IS the Harajuku Barbie. Angela suspects that together with a team of discreet model/actors and producers, Jay-Z has pulled off the greatest artistic stunt of our generation by creating the truly brilliant and bizarre female rapper character called Nicki Minaj.
There's a lot of coronavirus conspiracy theories floating around. But this has to be the most... specific. Confirmed fan fave Todd McClintock is back in the Lizard Lair and he's got a theory about why we're all taking selfies in our homemade masks. See, Todd thinks that the people behind this jury-rigged mask culture may be the last people you'd expect - casting directors! Could these mysterious Hollywood power players be subtly influencing us all to slap a bandanna on instead of a surgical mask so they can cast us in the next big-budged western? Will your fuzzy scarf that you threw on for a trip to a grocery store land you the lead in Lifetime's next feel-good Christmas movie?? Why not!
Isn't it weird how Star Wars bad guys have become so popular? How little kids dress up as Nazi allegories for Halloween? Well if you're like our funny and thoughtful guest Dahlya Glick, you think there's something more nefarious going on than just smart toy merchandising. See, some people suspect that what Disney is really doing by making us love and identify with stormtroopers is furthering their fascist and anti-semitic plot to take over the world. THROUGH COSTUMES AND TOYS! Together with Dahlya we cover it all, from her epic breakdown in line for the Peter Pan ride all the way to racist cops and replacement vape juice cartridges. Meander with us through the web of conspiracies surrounding a galaxy far, far away.
What do NASA, the UN, holograms, the Antichrist, alien invasions, the Rapture, and a loopy French Canadian have in common? They're all part of one of the most delightfully bonkers conspiracy theories ever made. This week we're talking about Project Blue Beam with the delightful and unbelievably funny Betsy Sodaro! And she's got some extremely strong opinions about how the government is planning to, um, shoot holograms at the sky that look like gods that turn into the Antichrist so they can institute the New World Order? Or something? Idk you're just gonna have to listen and do your best to figure it out. Also turns out this is the one Alexis has been waiting for all along!
People have called conspiracy theorists crazy for thinking that sinister forces within the American government would flout the laws of the land and use violence to put down a democratic movement for change. Well, uh, sorry guys. This week has been real emotional for a lot of people, and it didn't seem like the right time to put out a regular silly episode. So we're not! This episode is just a little mini hello from Katelyn, and a statement on where Katelyn/this podcast stands on the issues. Thanks for your understanding, and we'll be back with a new episode when it feels right.
Have you heard about the Donner Party? The intrepid pioneers who took a terrible shortcut in the 1860's and ended up snowed under in the Sierra Nevadas and then they ate each other? Well FORGET what you know, because it's all wrong! Maybe. Mostly. This week we have the pioneering professional podcast fan Lauren Passell here to 'splain all about what really happened to the Donner Party. Were they really starving when they started chomping down on each other's legs? Or were they just kind of wacked out and bored? This ep has it all - history, true crime, extreme gross-out humor, very polite arguing, book club recommendations, everything!
Prepare yourself and gird your loins, this is probably the most fun mother-son conspiracy theory podcast episode ever made. KarenLee and Cam from the show Sex Talk With My Mom stopped by the Lizard Lair (virtually) to explain how astrology is 100% real and works, and also why it's being suppressed. Suppressed by who, you ask? Ok well it's complicated, but it involves dating apps, the federal government, Xi Jinping, Big Pharma, Big Farm, and a bunch of other guys. This episode had BIG laughs and also BIG tech issues, thanks for bearing with us!
We're finally covering one of the core American conspiracy theories, and oh boy is it complicated! Some folks think that back in the 80's and 90's, the CIA took a quick pause from overthrowing democratically elected governments all over the world to pick up drug dealing. Specifically, selling crack cocaine in poor black communities in the US. Not very cool! This week fan fave and brilliant guy Zig is back, and he's going to try to explain to us all what exactly went on. Which is a big job, honey. We're gonna cover how much cocaine is a lot, what was up with the mujahideen, whether institutional racism is bad or not, and way way more.
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