What’s up every body welcome to generation why. The future is upon us, guys, its finally happening. Italian surgeon Sergio Canavero has claimed that the first human head transplant could be possible within the next two years and he intends to attempt the procedure on his new human volunteer, Valery Spiridonov, a 30-year-old Russian man. Spiridonov is a sufferer of the rare genetic Werdnig-Hoffman muscle wasting disease that progresses worse and worse every year. Most people who have it don’t live past 20 but this Russian hero is now 30 years old. His condition will eventually kill him if he doesn’t get a new body so he is the perfect candidate, but can it really be done and should it be done? There are still many scientists who believe it’s beyond our medical capabilities and there are scientists that just believe it’s not an ethical procedure to perform. I call them wet blanket scientists. The kind of people that want to ruin the fun of other the scientists, who are just trying to perform highly experimental and dangerous procedures on other humans. You know real scientists. The kind that names the monsters they’ve created after themselves. I think they are called mad scientists and the world is severely lacking in them. Dr. Hunt Batjer, president elect of the American Association for Neurological Surgeons, stated “I would not allow anyone to do it to me as there are a lot of things worse than death." Well that’s extremely easy for him to say because he doesn’t have a terminal illness that makes your muscles to stop developing during childhood, causing your skeleton to become deformed. Someone who is actually dying might have a different viewpoint. I guess the scientific consensus is, this experiment probably wont work and even if it does… god help him. Essentially, we have no idea what this will do to Spiridonov’s mind if successful. There’s no telling what the transplant - and all the new connections and foreign chemicals that his head and brain will have to suddenly deal with - will do to Spiridonov’s psyche, but according to the Daily Mail, it could result in a hitherto never experienced level and quality of insanity. Oh really? So what you’re really trying to say is this could ultimately lead to the creation of the world’s first super villain. I mean the man is Russian computer scientist, so that movie pretty much writes itself. This kind of thing has been attempted before but never on a human. The first attempt at a head transplant was carried out on a dog by Soviet surgeon Vladimir Demikhov in 1954. He made several attempts but the dogs only survived between two and six days. It really can’t be a coincidence that the Russians always seem to be involved. The first successful head transplant, in which one head was replaced by another, was carried out in 1970. The head of one monkey was put onto the body of another. They didn't attempt to join the spinal cords, though, so the monkey couldn't move its body, but it was able to breathe with artificial assistance. The monkey lived for nine days until its immune system rejected the head and it died. So I guess the message here is these people have a very different definition of successful than I do. I feel like if that happens to Mr. Spiridonov he might not consider that a success. Actually none of the articles I read mentioned a case where a head transplant did not ultimately lead to the animal’s death, so maybe this is a little ambitious, but society is nothing without crazy Italian neurosurgeons who cant wait to chop a sick Russian’s head off and see if they can’t sew it onto the body of a freshly deceased organ donor. Canavero believes we are technologically capable of this and I hope he’s right because think of the implications it would have. Basically means rich people could pretty much live forever and that’s what we have been working towards as a society. I’m looking forward to the day when we can make a clone of Brad Pitt just to chop its head off and throw an old billionaire on there instead. Did we need to go to the moon? No we were just showing off. Did we need to calculate the weight of the universe? Hell no, how is that useful information to anyone? Did we need to invent the Segway? Absolutely not. Without the Segway we wouldn’t have Paul Blart mall cop, and for that reason alone an argument could be made that its one of the most detrimental inventions ever to wreak havoc on society. We did these things because we could, and that’s the same reason we should chop off Valery Spiridonov’s head and sew it on a dead guy. I say better to do it on a willing, terminally ill, human, than an extremely unlucky dog.

What’s up everybody? Welcome to generation why. Now I don’t normally vote because voting is for old people everyone knows that. I’m way too busy, maybe if you could text your vote in like American idol we could work something out but physically voting is like dialing all ten digits of a phone number, honestly who has the time? Well it turns out there might actually be a reason to make it to the polls next November because there is a man, a maniacal, extremely homophobic man, with a law degree and the balls, to put forward a state proposition to legalize the execution of gay people. Matt McLaughlin, an attorney in Huntington Beach, California, filed paperwork to bring his proposal, which would sanction the killing of gay and lesbian residents on the basis of their sexuality. The initiative would also make it a crime to support gay rights, punishable by a $1m fine, up to 10 years in prison and expulsion from the state. It would also be illegal to distribute “sodomitic propaganda.” It doesn’t really go into examples of what that is, but I would imagine he’s mostly talking about Modern Family. These days it can actually be quite challenging to differentiate sodomite propaganda from network sitcoms. I hope he never finds out there is a black atheist hosting a show on fox about the creation of our universe. He is calling the bill the sodomite suppression act and it is awaiting further review by the office of the state attorney general, Kamala Harris, who technically does not have the authority to block it. That may seem absurd but here is how it works. Once a sponsor has paid the required fee of $200, the attorney general is directed, under California law, to prepare a title and 100-word summary of the initiative before sending it to the secretary of state’s office for the signature-gathering period. The proposal would then need to collect at least 356,000 valid signatures within 180 days to qualify for the ballot. That might seem like a lot, but this man is from Orange county California. That’s the whitest, douchiest, county we have out here. He could probably get that many in a weekend just standing in front of the Irvine spectrum. There are 30 million people in California and like every other state in the union, half of them are assholes and the vast majority of those assholes live in the OC. If you’ve ever seen the show the OC its actually fairly accurate portrayal of how over privileged white people who live by the beach actually behave. The only difference is the show was centered around a Jewish family. I’m not saying there are no Jews in Orange county, its just frowned upon. Ms. Harris is doing all she can to stop the initiative, but there really isn’t much she can do. The only option available to her is to simply ask the state Superior Court in Sacramento to relieve her of having to write the title and summary for the Sodomite Suppression Act. “If the court does not grant this relief,” she said, “my office will be forced to issue a title and summary for a proposal that seeks to legalize discrimination and vigilantism.” In my opinion they are burying the lead here. The headline should be “for $200 you can force the state government to legitimize any half baked lunacy you can come up with”. I’m going to make a proposition that says all cats in California must be named after one of the Friends from Friends. Joey, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Monica, or Phoebe. That’s it. No exceptions. The penalty is a $1million fine and expulsion from the state. Its only $200 to force the attorney general’s office to write up a 100-word summary and then pass you on to the signature gathering period. You are basically paying for the right to stand in front of ralphs and ask everyone that comes out if they are sick of this state ignoring the demand for standardized cat names. That would be the best $200 I ever spent. Even better than the time I paid a homeless guy $200 to dive into my dumpster and retrieve my iPhone that I didn’t have insurance on. So make sure to vote in 2016 because you don’t want to get kicked out of California for giving your friend will and grace season one for their birthday.

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