"I was definitely aware that first day going into work — so, first time — that I was crossing a line. Like that I was non-sex worker and after that day, I had participated in sex work of some form. So, that one I knew when I got up in the morning, like, I'm going to work today and I'm going to take money for some kind of sexual act and when I go to bed tonight that will have somehow changed me." Jenny Nordbak has written a really wonderful book about her time as a professional dominatrix called, “The Scarlett Letters — My secret year of men in an LA dungeon.” She wrote me after hearing some episodes of First Time Last Time. She said the one with Bettina Hubby talking about what it was like to die really grabbed her. Jenny's at times silly, at times sexy, at times shocking and serious and deep. I think you're really going to like this one. Thanks for listening and please help spread the word :) All the info at firstlasttime.com

Casey Hardison was 22 years old when he tried LSD for the first time. That trip sent him on a global, psychedelic mission that eventually ended in a British prison cell. But little did Casey know, his mission was NOT over. It had simply entered a new phase. Today, Casey William Hardison writes a lot about psychedelics. You can link to most of it through the “vault” at Erowid: https://erowid.org/culture/characters/hardison_casey/ You can hear Casey discuss a lot more about his case and the ideas of cognitive liberty on the Mikeadelic podcast: http://mikedelic.libsyn.com/casey-william-hardison If you want to learn more about psychedelic drugs and how they actually work, Casey recommends the book “Ethnobotany: Evolution of a Discipline” By Richard Evans Shultes And to learn more about current medical applications of psychedelic drugs, spend some time at http://www.maps.org/ Thanks for listening to First Time Last Time. We’re two episodes into the First Time Last Time summer of stories. And if you wouldn’t mind helping me get the word out about it? Super easy if you’re on facebook — just search for First Time Last Time. Click on the page, and then share this story or any of the stories. It’s a quick easy thing you can do to let people know about the show. In the meantime, I’ll be back with a new episode in a couple weeks. Thanks for listening. Talk soon. — Ben

Chris McNamara was already a legendary climber when he took up wingsuit BASE jumping — flying off cliffs, down canyons and around impossible curves. As one of the US’s first, he pioneered jumps all over the country and ushered in the golden age for this most extreme sport. But then something happened. And then it happened again. And again and again and again. How do you give up the most thrilling thing you’ve ever done — and ever could do? Chris McNamara runs outdoorgearlab.com and techgearlab.com — two really great gear review sites. He also runs supertopo.com — probably the best rock climbing resource board on the internet. Today you can find him working all over the Lake Tahoe region, building a community around outdoor sports, entrepreneurship and finding new ways to thrill himself and others.

Coming May 18th and then every two weeks all summer long — First Time Last Time is back with a whole summer of stories. Subscribe now and don't miss a single one —go to firstlasttime.com/subscribe/ and click on one of the big gold buttons. See you in a couple weeks! — Ben

"I'm on the couch watching TV and my great grandmother is in her bedroom sleeping. The door was open to her bedroom and I start to hear her toss and turn and kind of like talk in her sleep. And then she starts to moan in her sleep. And it dawned on me that I should go check her. And when I walked into the room, I saw her writhing around in bed, obviously in pain. And she wasn't asleep, she was awake. And she was moaning. So I walked to the kitchen got her a glass of water and called 911, because I didn't really know what else to do." I know — it's been a long time since I posted the last story. There's a good reason for it, but it's kinda too boring to go into. It's just life happening. But I am working on more stories. Right now, I'm trying to get a proper season together so it's not as much of this catch-as-catch-can business. In the meantime, thanks for all the emails, tweets, Facebook messages, etc. They really mean so much. And reviews .... the positive reviews on iTunes help me and help the show. So, please, if you can navigate your way to leave a review, I really appreciate your generosity. Oh—and t-shirts! A few more people have ordered T-Shirts to support the show (you can find those at the bottom left of firstlasttime.com). Once a few more people order shirts, I'll get em all printed. There's also an email list you can sign up for on firstlasttime.com, so I'll send you an email every time there's a new story. And please, tell your friends and anyone you know who likes good stories. Help spread the word!

"My first apartment was this little one-bedroom coach house off Griffith Park Blvd. It was a beautiful apartment with wood floors and matchy match tile in the kitchen and bathroom. I remember laughing when the landlady, one of those Encino 70-year-olds with chunky gold jewelry, see-through shirts and extremely pert double-Ds, raised the rent to 600 a month. We were the first artists priced out of Silverlake, we said, as we packed up and moved to Echo Park." This episode of First Time Last Time is a little different than previous ones. It comes out my residency at Tandem — the Tim and Neda Disney Experimental Media Artist Residency. It’s one of nine audio works that together all make a piece called “At Home.” If you want to hear more of the pieces, I’m going to be posting them to the First Time Last Time website and Facebook page. Link to both of those at firstlasttime.com Many special thanks on this episode: Tim and Neda Disney, John Adair, Shoshanna Scholar, Sarah Mesle, Abigail Scholar, Neda Casey, Kathleen Fox, Brandon Harvey, Eve Brenner, Walt Senterfitt, Ruth Sandoval and everyone who came into Tandem during my residency to record stories. More info about the Tandem Residency is at tandemresidency.org

"So I didn't think that much of it because I hadn't written a song before. I just thought, oh, this was an interesting evening, you know. Happy to be of help. But he said, "No, no, no, this is going all over the world. You don't understand, this is a hit." And you know, Marvin said a lot of stuff. I said fine."

“I mean there were times when I could say, 'Oh my wedding, I felt pretty.' Or, you know, I went on a date and I looked in the mirror and I was pretty. Or, after I had sex I felt pretty. Or, after I had my babies, I felt really good about myself as a woman because I had had these babies. But there were always these caveats of, 'Well, but...' "I think the last time I felt beautiful without any other caveats was when I was 12. Um, I believe, yes, this must have been 1974." Connect with First Time Last Time and please help spread the word! I'm aiming to put podcasts out every few weeks. Also – new stories every few days on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and Twitter. Connect to it all via firstlasttime.com. And please help me get the word out about this new project. Share with those you know who love great stories.

"You know, it's not the same as cancer. Someone's diagnosed with cancer of any kind, people always go straight to, 'Oh, how awful that he or she would have to go through that.' But when you tell someone you're HIV+ or that you have AIDS, even though I knew that I was a good person, there's something that still today has a negative connotation. That there's something dirty about it. 'Oh, you know, well, maybe I was promiscuous. Maybe I did sleep around. Maybe my perception of myself isn't really, you know – maybe I was a bad girl." Connect with First Time Last Time and please help spread the word! I'm aiming to put podcasts out every few weeks. Also – new stories every few days on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and Twitter. Connect to it all via firstlasttime.com! And please help me get the word out about this new project. Share with anyone you know who loves great stories. Photo by Gavin Thomas gavinthomasphoto.com

“I remember being on the gurney in one of those tiny little aprons and looking down at my feet. I started seeing these lines growing up my legs – my blood vessels were turning blue. It was slow, like a vine was creeping around my leg. It was quite beautiful but also scary. I saw it disappear under the paper towel-y thing and I knew – I just knew – that if it hit my heart, that would be it.” Connect with First Time Last Time and please help spread the word! I'm aiming to put podcasts out every few weeks. Also – new stories every few days on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and Twitter. Connect to it all via firstlasttime.com! And please help me get the word out about this new project. Share with anyone you know who loves great stories. Photo by Steven Rimlinger