1 out of 2 doctors recommend listening to this with headphones so that you can hear it over the sound of your bones being smashed.  Topics include not having the right gym badges for Tinder, playing the Uno queef reverse card, phone code clean up, the science of floor sex, post break up Instagram wipe.

There's going to be a part in this episode where Dain gives you an instruction to do something "no matter where you are" and we'd just like to say that in hindsight, it might matter a little bit where you are.  Topics include the relationship equivalent of a pit filled with blades, avoiding fatherhood in the worst way, first date precautions, shouting affirmations at your genitals, a simple birthday request. 

We're all doing our best out here, but at the end of the day we're all just big idiots doing a bad job.  Topics include moving in with your partner makes you a pussy, risky and frisky in the classroom, revenge is the only answer, solving the foreplay puzzle, closure in confusion.

How do you like to eat a lollipop?  Do you just crunch it or do you put your tongue outside of your mouth?  Topics include a very expensive first date, a slippery condom situation, lying about your age, small mouth/large penis, keeping dating apps for writing material, cuckolding without a third party, making love over hooking up.

This week was absolutely insane with our live show and being at Comicon all week, so we decided we'd treat you all to one of the bonus Pillow Talk episodes from our patreon!

I'll give you anything you want... even these really awesome sunglasses.  Just don't show my family how cool you are.  Topics include cooking up validation, needing alcohol to feel frisky, getting jacked for your big girlfriend, safety tips for casual sex, suspicious sunglasses secrets.

If you idiots keep naming your kids almost exactly like your name, you can't blame me when I accidentally send you a bright green gimp suit.  Topics include the serious commitment of meal prepping, sex tape swap, retroactive anime jealousy, using a sex toy vs being used as a sex toy, sex toys for dad.

If you're about 5'2" and have boobs AND a butt, I'd love to hear from you.  Topics include sex preference waiver, abortion fund, too fat for Wednesday, hair loss hardships, how to silence your butt, if it walks like a misogynist and talks like a misogynist... and Tinders!

There's only one thing I want when I confront my ex and it's just a tiny puddle for everyone to see.  Topics include surviving period rage, thrust issues, reaching the climax, how to confront your ex, an intimate sibling evening.

We're not ones to push conspiracy theories, but has anyone ever actually gone inside of a Panera?  Topics include retaliation vomit, a long overdue check in, bed time routine trouble, the correlation between sex and dating potential, Panera is a liberal hoax.