With decisions pending in the two Supreme Court cases discussing the future of affirmative action, today we talk about all things affirmative action, including: where it came from, who the biggest beneficiaries of it have been (and if you know a White woman in this country, you’ll want to listen) if we still need it (yes), and what you’ll really need to know about where our society may be headed – because this not only impacts education but our companies and communities, too.

Bottom line: affirmative action actually affects all of us.  Listen in to hear why.

What to listen for:

• How the term “affirmative action” came to be - originally about race

• When sex/gender was included in the plans, leading to White women being the biggest beneficiaries of affirmative action 

• How affirmative action turned into a zero-sum game by twisting it to position White people (women) as victims

• Reminders of the affirmative action program that supported White people first - the GI Bill

• The SCOTUS case coming up that might undermine the benefits - given the composition of the court - of keeping policies in place that enforce diversity

Other episodes to listen to: 

Why White People Should Care: The Women's Movement and Societal Systems

Why White Women Should Care: History, Science + Current Events

John Tateishi’s Conversation About Living in an Internment Camp

This week marks the FOUR YEAR anniversary of the Dear White Women podcast!

From those first few episodes released altogether on April 15, 2019, to now… it’s been quite the ride.  This year, in order to kick off year five (!!!) of the podcast, we thought we’d devote an entire shorter episode to talking about not only the past four years but what we have in store for the future (you didn’t think we’d end with four, did ya?).  

What to listen for: 

• How the podcast has evolved since its start in April 2019

• The stand-out episode from this past year – hint, both of us chose Overground Railroad with Candacy Taylor

• Our personal whys behind doing this for the past four years

• Where we think the Dear White Women platform goes from here

About Sara & Misasha:

A graduate of Harvard College and Columbia Law School, Misasha Suzuki Graham has

been a practicing litigator for over 15 years and is passionate about diversity, equity, and

inclusion in the legal profession as well as in her communities. She is a facilitator, writer,

and speaker regarding issues of racial justice, especially with regard to children, the

co-author of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and

the co-host of Dear White Women, a social justice podcast. Misasha, who is biracial

(Japanese and White), is married to a Black man, and is the proud mom of two very

active multiracial young boys. They live in the Bay Area of California with their largely

indifferent cat.

Sara Blanchard helps build community and connection through conscious

conversations, which she does as a facilitator, TEDx speaker, writer, and consultant.

After graduating from Harvard and working at Goldman Sachs, Sara pursued the

science and techniques of well-being and is a certified life coach, author of two books

(Flex Mom and Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism), and

co-host of Dear White Women, an award-winning weekly social justice podcast. Sara is

biracial (Japanese and White), married to a White Canadian man, and is raising their two

White-presenting girls to be compassionate, thoughtful advocates. They live in Denver,

Colorado with their incredibly lovable dog.

Most people that we know didn’t grow up thinking about or knowing people who were involved in unions.  Us too – until Sara married a union man.  And it got us thinking… how have unions impacted all of our lives?  Turns out, quite a lot.  

Here’s one way: the length of the typical workday.  Thank unions for 8 hours – because that didn’t just magically happen out of the goodwill of employers.  Unions campaigned for over 70 years to move the average workweek from 100 hours per week (!!) down to 40.  At one stage, back in the 1950s, nearly one in three workers were in unions, and they played a HUGE role in reducing income inequality and boosting wages.  Done right, unions are a public good – they provide benefits for all of society, so basically are the underpinning of a democracy and economy that works for most people. 

But here we are today in 2023.  You have probably heard about the Fight for 15, to get $15/hour to be the minimum wage for folks in the fast food industry.  You may be seeing headlines of workers starting unions at Starbucks, Amazon, Apple, and maybe you even know some folks who are involved.  Support for labor unions in the U.S. is currently at a 57-year high, where 71% of Americans approve, but participation is at a record LOW, where only just over 10% (about 14 million American workers) are actually part of a union.  Join us as we dive into understanding this critical piece of the puzzle when it comes to shaping not just corporate but our country’s policies and the perpetuation of this growing inequality - and yep, it’s not surprising, but there’s a racial component to this too.

What to listen for:

• What a labor union is

• The example of the average hours in a workweek, and how unions worked to pressure both governments and companies to lower the number of hours expected

• Details on the Pullman Porters, and the first-ever agreement between an all-Black union (the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters (BSCP) and a major US company

• How companies drove a wedge between workers based on race, which has corresponded with a decrease in union participation by workers in this country 

• Why we think unions play an integral role in lessening inequality and supporting ALL of us.

Resources: 

justice.aflcio.org/blog/est-aliquid-se-ipsum-flagitiosum-etiamsi-nulla"> https://racial-justice.aflcio.org/blog/est-aliquid-se-ipsum-flagitiosum-etiamsi-nulla

https://www.dol.gov/general/workcenter/unions-101

https://www.history.com/topics/black-history/pullman-porters

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/union2.pdf

https://www.cultureamp.com/blog/40-hour-work-week

https://www.americanprogress.org/events/labor-unions-future/

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2023/02/28/1159663461/you-may-have-heard-of-the-union-boom-the-numbers-tell-a-different-story

I hear the word lobbying and used to envision some sort of dark mysterious magic taking place.  But it turns out there are some very forthright, thoughtful individuals who play the role of lobbyist - being hired because they know something about how the legislative process works, willing to give advice and defend positions about what they think is right when it comes to regulating companies and advocating for or against policies that will impact the folks living in our country.  

Today, we speak with one of those fantastic individuals, David Louie.  David is a former Attorney General of Hawaii and lobbyist for firms including Meta and Airbnb.  So grateful that he was willing to share this time with us on the podcast so we can learn first-hand about what lobbying means for individuals, and for the future of our democracy!   And a note to all you lawyers out there: add “lobbyist” as a potential career path if you want to use your advocacy skills in a different, yet similar, way…

What to listen for:

• The actual definition of a lobbyist, and what skill sets and experience are useful in the field

• What sources of information and pressure a lobbyist has to consider

• Ways interactions with legislators can go – whether it’s easy to get meetings, and more

• How the system of lobbying affects our ability to make sound decisions in this country – and whether it’s helping or hurting us as a democracy 

About David Louie: 

David M. Louie is a civil trial lawyer at Kobayashi Sugita & Goda, LLP in Honolulu, Hawai‘i—handling complex commercial litigation, construction defect claims, catastrophic personal injury defense, constitutional issues for the State of Hawai‘i, government affairs, and lobbying—and also serves as a mediator and arbitrator. He was Hawai‘i’s attorney general from 2011 to 2014, providing advice, counsel, and representation to the governor, cabinet, legislature, State agencies, and employees. He has served as president, vice president, and director of the Hawai‘i State Bar Association, as Lawyer Representative for the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, and as Northwest Regional Governor for the National Asian-Pacific American Bar Association. He graduated from Occidental College and Berkeley Law School and currently lives in Honolulu.

If you’ve ever watched an episode of Law and Order, you’ll know Jack McCoy, who was the District Attorney (with a capital D and A) in that show. Together with his team, Jack McCoy made decisions about a lot of people’s guilt or innocence and argued that in court. Typically, when we think about a criminal trial, there are two phases: culpability, and sentencing. So in the first phase, either the judge or jury decides if the defendant is guilty or not, and then, if the defendant is found guilty, in that second phase, the judge or jury decides what that sentence should be. 

But aside from that, it’s true that a lot of us don’t know what DAs do, or what their role is with regard to mass incarceration. Let’s get a little more analytical than Law and Order, and by the end of this episode, we hope you not only know more about what your DAs do, but have some ideas of how to hold them accountable, just like they hold us accountable. 

What to listen for:

• What the office of the DA actually does

• The role of the DA in criminal prosecutions, from the crime being committed all the way to sentencing

• Some typical situations that DAs might face and why some opt for incarceration

• How we can hold our DAs accountable when it comes to mass incarceration vs. restorative justice, especially in non-election years

As this is an episode that’s a little bit different from our other episodes (I don’t think to date we’ve interviewed a person who’s currently running for office), we’d like to make sure we are very clear about the following:  We are NOT endorsing any candidates in this episode.  We are grateful that Trinidad Rodriguez, who is running for Mayor of Denver, was willing to connect with us to give us an inside look at what it’s like running for office, to expand on our civics engagement series.  Again, we are NOT endorsing any candidates in this episode.

This episode was also unique in that we got an inside look into what a political campaign looks like, marrying the personal “why” (why we care about certain issues, for example, due to lived experience) with our own individual and collective abilities to make change in the world.

It was also very humanizing about a process that we previously thought was elevated above us, inaccessibly locked away in a black box.  That’s not true.  Any one of us, with enough experience, support, drive, internal strength, and vision, can run for office.  And as you listen, we hope you find your own takeaway - not only about running for civic office but about the power you DO have to make change and shape your own communities on a daily basis.

What to listen for: 

• Trini’s thoughts on what it takes to actually run for office, and what / who you need to surround yourself with

• The importance of breaking out of our silos, and asking those affected what they think will be most helpful to them

• Advice on what we can all do to be more engaged – that is, follow up on our votes.  Know the outcomes of what you voted on, and hold leaders and politicians accountable to implement the policies that were decided upon by the citizens, with integrity.

About Trini:

Trinidad Rodriguez is bringing a new approach to moving Denver forward. Growing up with a single mom in West Denver, his family had to overcome some challenges like housing insecurity, mental health and addiction issues, and violent crime. The city and its services supported them through the hard times, and that inspired Trinidad to pay it forward and continue to fight for Denver.

Trinidad has spent the last 23 years working in finance and volunteering with various local civic

and nonprofit organizations like the Downtown Denver Partnership, Denver Housing Authority,

Blueprint Denver, Rose Community Foundation, Metropolitan State University of Denver

Foundation, and Urban Peak. He is a public finance expert who knows how to leverage and build public and private networks to create public-serving infrastructure. He has financed schools, affordable housing communities, and health clinics that have served tens of thousands of Denverites. This sets him apart from the other candidates.

Now he’s running for mayor to make sure that Denver is a city where every Denverite can achieve their version of success, regardless of the neighborhood they’re in. He is a proven leader with bold plans to address Denver’s biggest issues. Trini understands that we can’t expect different results if we continue to try the same approaches.

More details about his background and experience can be found here.

When we first released this episode, it was roughly two months after George Floyd had been murdered by the police and it was perhaps the first time that non-Black Americans, and in particular, White Americans, realized that this police violence wasn’t isolated to a few communities, but indeed was a national problem.

And now we’re sitting here, a month after Tyre Nichols was murdered by the police, and thought it was important to revisit this topic based on the discussions that we’ve been hearing, and reading, on the topic of police.  We’re now 2.5 years away from this original recording - how have your own thoughts on the police changed since that point?

In the end: the history of policing in our country is America’s history. If we don’t understand this history, we won’t be able to keep ALL of our communities safe in the future.

What to listen for:

• The colonial form of policing, and how informal it was at the very beginning.

• Who funded the police force in 19th century America - and what they wanted the police to focus on protecting? Hint: motivations split between Northern and Southern lines.

• How the structure and funding of the police had to change as cities, and the country, grew, and yet how they served to reinforce hierarchies in society.

• Given this, what do YOU think? Can an organization with roots like this be race-blind in its policies and actions? If not, what would it take to change?

• We offer some personal histories as we reflect on policing, and how ordinary people can make a difference.

Relevant episodes:

• If you want more, we mention this episode of NPR’s THROUGHLINE a lot here.

If you’re listening to this episode around the time when it’s being released, then you’ll be listening to this right on the last day of Black History Month here in the United States. It should go without saying that Black History is American History, but we’re going to say it anyway, and that it shouldn’t be confined just to the shortest month of the year but instead should be taught to our kids every day of the year, and should be talked about by us as grownups by an equal amount. That said, it’s important also to not just be teaching our kids about the parts of Black history that are full of struggle, and in particular we’re referring to the history of slavery and the Civil Rights Movement, which is even being called into question in states like Florida currently.

That’s exactly why we’re bringing you this episode today - where we talk about the the Negro Leagues and the history behind America’s favorite pastime - baseball - that you might not know, and probably weren’t taught in schools - in a way that Misasha’s been talking about this in schools. That’s all to say: you can talk about this with kindergarteners. You can use the materials with older kids as well. But the important takeaway here? Black history is more than just slavery and the struggle to be free. It’s about the everyday moments, the history that encompasses all of us.  If we’re not teaching our kids to see Black people in these moments, then we’re really not teaching them to see Black people at all. So - let’s get into the Negro Leagues, as pitchers and catchers are reporting right now for spring training in Major League Baseball.

What to listen for:

• The separate (and decidedly not equal) conditions under which Black and White ballplayers had to play

• Names of some Black superstar baseball players who – if/when integrated into the Hall of Fame – would be as good or better than some of the MLB athletes we celebrate today

• How to talk with your kids, from kindergarten through high school, about this specific period of baseball in American history

Resources: 

Episode 50, Why Aren’t Black Kids Playing Baseball?  

Visit the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum

Society for AMerican Baseball Research – statistics

We Are The Ship: The Story of Negro League Baseball

A Negro League Scrapbook

Mamie On The Mound

Who Were The Negro Leagues?

Undeniable: Negro League Women

Undeniable: International Impact

Undeniable: Jackie and Monte

If you’ve been following us on our journey through (third grade) civics, you’ll know that we’ve covered the federal government/civics on a national level in our Civics 101 episode, which was Episode 203, and then focused on state government in Civics 102, which was Episode 205. We’re now here to round out our basic civics knowledge with Civics 103 - everything - and more, if we’re being honest - that you wanted to know about your local city/county/municipal governments. Let’s jump right into this.

What to listen for:

• Different structures of local government - like city managers vs strong mayors (which one are you living in!?) - that you can vote for or see appointed

• All the other roles that make our daily lives happen - from sheriffs and police and fire to coroners, parks and rec, economic development, public works, planning, and more

• Ways that we discovered we can get more involved in our local governments - and what YOU can do too!

When people think of the government or they think about elections, they often think about presidential elections, and big federal government. But more often than not, our daily lives are hugely impacted by the decisions made by our state and local governments - and this impacts one very high-profile area in particular. Our children, in our schools.

In the news recently was the headline that Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida was banning the Advanced Placement high school course on African American studies - which, incidentally, is the same curriculum that is taught in ALL 50 STATES, because it violated state law and “lacks educational value.”  They were worried about sections on “Intersectionality and Activism,” “Black Feminist Literary Theory” “Black Queer Studies” and Critical Race Theory (which, incidentally, was in the accusations but the theory itself was not going to be taught in the class b/c it’s a college graduate level course that would be too difficult for high school students even in a college-level course - we did a whole episode on this, in case you’re wondering what is the DEAL with CRT?).  

What laws are we talking about?  A new one that requires lessons on race be taught in “an objective manner” and “not used to indoctrinate or persuade students to a particular point of view” - and ones that have been banning books and discussions about gender and sexuality in the classroom in Florida in the name of “parents rights”.  All of this has been having a chilling effect on the 2.8 million students in the classrooms who are no longer really learning about the full scope of American history, nor are they able to discuss their own gender or sexuality, that of their family, their friends, nor the history of queer folks in America.   Keep in mind, though, AP courses on European history have not been scrutinized by the DeSantis administration. Wonder why….  

So yeah.  We’re on our civics kick, and we are bringing you back to the discussion we had in April 2022 on banned books, the role that school boards and states have in banned books, curriculum, and so much more. This is the year of doing - so get out there, and make your voice heard. 

What to listen for: 

• What IS critical race theory, actually?  
• How CRT been misused to discuss culturally relevant teaching
• We think anti-CRT should just be called anti-history 
• The (frightening) increase in book bans recently - even when polls are showing the majority of American voters and parents are opposed to book bans
• What you can do right now to get loud

The petition we mentioned: 

https://naacp.org/actions/demand-educational-freedom-florida

We’re back in our Intro to Civics course!  You know, the one you probably took in third grade and maybe, if you were lucky, in some form in middle and high school and didn’t pay enough attention to?  Or maybe you never took it, if you live in the 60% of states that don’t require students to take a civics exam as a graduation requirement - which is something we learned about in Episode 203, “I’m Just A Bill,” where we focused on the federal level. 

This episode, is going to focus on the states, get a little deeper into what our own local officials are doing, and how we can all get more involved in our own governance.

You're probably with us in being sick and tired of feeling like we can’t make a difference or make positive change.  SO get ready - we think you’ll be blown away when you learn how much local politics affect us on a daily basis. 

What to listen for: 

• All about the 10th Amendment, which is the one that gives states So Much Power separate from the federal government
• The mandates and grants and structures that give the government the funding to work
• How you can interact with the state government - even by streaming committee meetings in your living room! - because they shape your communities through schools, taxes, policing, and more.

https://ballotpedia.org/Comparison_of_state_legislative_salaries

https://votesmart.org/education/states

https://static.votesmart.org/static/pdf/govtable.pdf

https://leg.colorado.gov/content/citizens-guide-effective-legislative-participation

This is not the episode we wanted to record this week - but it’s the one that we NEEDED to record this week.  Why?  Because just as we’re venturing down the rabbit hole of topics over the next few months that is Civic Engagement and making a difference for 2024, we had blatant scary fearful reminders about why we want you all to know and do more - because people’s lives are at stake.

If you want to know how we feel about the latest mass shootings targeting Asian folks and Black folks, why we don’t give a shit that it was an Asian shooter, how to think about hate crimes, and what the larger issues are and what things are that we can each actually DO - listen in.

What to listen for: 

• Our personal reactions and feelings to the horrible mass shootings over the weekend - because they hit close to home
• What we can do going forward to see the big picture, which centers our communities
• Specific issues to act on, including gun control, hate crimes, and domestic violence

I’m just a bill, on Capitol Hill… do you remember that song, from Schoolhouse Rock? If that jogs your memory, this is the episode for you. If you’re too young to remember that song, this episode is for you. If you hate that song, this episode is for you. 

Why? Because this episode is about civics - in other words, how our government functions. We’re at a pretty critical time in our country’s history.  With all of what’s been in the news, through the disastrous Speaker of the House election in the House of Representatives, and in the discussions we’ve had, and will have, about Supreme Court decisions, and how where we are right now in 2023 is basically setting the stage for the crucial Presidential election of 2024 - this is a topic that we probably all should know a lot more about. Because right now, we don’t. 

What to listen for: 

• The current state of civic education in the US
• What the three branches of government are, and how each of them work
• A perspective on the recent Speaker of the House (of Representatives) election - one which went 15 rounds, for the first time in one hundred years
• Details like the difference between judges and justices, how long Senators and Representatives are in office for, and how a bill becomes a law
• What YOU can do to be an engaged citizen 

Resources to read for more information: 

Find your senators: contact.htm">https://www.senate.gov/senators/senators-contact.htm

Find your representatives: https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative

More specifics on the data we quoted in the episode: 

clerk.house.gov/grade-school/lesson.html"> https://kids-clerk.house.gov/grade-school/lesson.html

https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/the-speaker-of-the-house-and-the-constitution

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/how-the-speaker-of-the-house-gets-picked

https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-10/

https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/document/questions-and-answers/100q.pdf

https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/5288/text

https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/senate-bill/879/text

We promised to bring you more conversation about civics and engagement - and today we get to bring you a “real talk” episode about one of our favorite topics - civics, engagement, and a White Woman’s Work.  Plus, as a special bonus, we do this in conversation with NYT Bestselling Author Kate Schatz - a queer white woman - who is basically the perfect human being to tackle these topics with.  

We talk about what she’d say to white women if she could say absolutely anything, the interconnectedness of oppression while avoiding devolving into the Oppression Olympics, how to figure out what to ask fellow white people about racism instead of asking people of color, 

How white women can channel a little more bravery once they know what’s really at risk - which is tied into the mic drop moment when she references Trevor Noah - and really importantly, the folks and civic organizations who are actually making huge differences that we can each get behind. Consider this your “DWW ease in” to our civics focus, but any way you think of this, you should listen, and then get all of your friends to do the same, as we kick off 2023.

What to listen for: 

• How forces of oppression are linked - with a reality check about the importance of checking intersectionality and privilege in these conversations 
• Hear why White people need to talk amongst themselves about these topics - and how they might think about approaching their Black friends differently
• The mic-drop moment when Kate puts her views on White women into context about Trevor Noah’s TV farewell thanking black women, who can’t afford to f*ck around and find out … it’s really just social capital that’s at risk for White women, so can’t we get you to do more?!
• Organizations like the WNBA who’ve made a difference, along with Black Voters Matter, the New Georgia Project, Fair Fight - who we should support all year ‘round and not just before elections

About Kate:  KATE SCHATZ is a feminist author, activist, public speaker, and educator. She's the New York Times-bestselling author of the "Rad Women" book series; the 33 ⅓ book Rid of Me: A Story; and Do the Work: An Anti-Racist Activity Book, co-written with “United Shades of America” host W. Kamau Bell.

One of our philosophies is that anti-racism work has to be done in a way that’s sustainable - meaning, just like we can’t post a black square to Instagram and say we’re done, we also can’t spread ourselves too thin or work ourselves to the point of irredeemable fatigue because then we also stop having impact.  

So to kick off this year, we are bringing you a really open conversation on a topic we don’t as a society speak openly about Women’s health (which, for men, is often just called “health.”)

In particular, we want you to know this conversation is specifically NOT reproductive health, which is often what women’s health is solely classified as, but rather all the things that happen with our bodies related to our hormones, periods, menopause, symptoms, and society’s lack of support.  To have this conversation in partnership, we bring you the founder of a groundbreaking, personalized, online Traditional Chinese Medicine company.  

Because if we can work to support and balance ourselves from the root causes upwards, we will be able to be more vibrant impactful versions of ourselves.  

** SPECIAL SURPRISE FOR OUR LISTENERS **

Take 15% off a 3-month bundle of Cycle Balance using code DEARWHITEWOMEN15 at this site!

What to listen for: 

• What symptoms many women actually experience every month due to their very natural, human menstrual cycle
• Current treatments available - you’d be surprised
• How women of color are impacted by periods
• What Traditional Chinese Medicine offers that’s different from Western medicine, and how Elix fits into this idea of personalized medicine

About our guest: 

Lulu created Elix in 2020 to destigmatize and normalize menstrual and hormonal health through an East meets West approach. A portmanteau of elixir and helix, Elix is the first digital platform to combine Traditional Chinese Medicine's (TCM) 5,000 years of wisdom with a proprietary algorithm to empower self-healing. The company formulates pure and potent liquid herbal extracts to treat hormonal imbalances at the root cause of painful and life-disrupting symptoms. By digitizing in-depth TCM health assessments and consults, Elix offers easy access to personalized herbal liquid formulas to heal holistically.

After experiencing debilitating pain after getting off birth control, Lulu found her way back to TCM and was able to heal from within at the root cause. Recognizing a white space, Lulu launched Elix at the onset of the pandemic and so far, the company has raised $2.7m, grown 2700% with customers ages 16-52 from all 50 states and Canada (about half are WOC) -- clearly resonating with the community.

With health autonomy, knowledge, and access under dire threat, Lulu is determined to help women with periods feel more empowered about and in control of their own health and well-being. I'd love to speak with you further about Lulu as a guest! She can speak about why WOC are chronically gaslit about their pain, the need to normalize period talk, and how the pandemic changed some periods among other topics.

Welcome to Episode 200 of our podcast, and welcome to 2023! Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu! (Happy New Year!)

In our first episode of this new year, we want to reintroduce ourselves, give you a run of where we’ve been with our platform, and make sure you have an overview of what you can expect from us this coming year. As we’re heading into yet another major election in 2024, if we want to build a community and country that actually looks out for ALL of us, there are things and people we need to know about so we can do things differently - and take action intentionally and consistently.

What to listen for: 

• Who we are (Sara & Misasha), how we met (walking out of a racial identity conversation as undergrads at Harvard 25+ years ago), and why we have this platform (women have SO MUCH POWER to influence change, and White women, in particular, have voices that can be heard where other voices cannot) 
• The incredible success we have had, including a quarter of a million podcast downloads, thousands of copies of our book being sold, and being hired to speak at many organizations
• What we have planned for 2023 - including civics, SCOTUS cases, and all we think we need to do in, with, and for our communities to be ready for the 2024 elections

It’s that time of year when everyone starts to think about not only the end of this current year but also the beginning of the next. And friends, we’ve got some big plans for next year - but we’ll save that for EPISODE 200 (our next episode, and our first of 2023!).

This episode will be a little bit of year-end reflection for us - and if these questions resonate with you, we hope you’ll spend a little time sitting with this year, before moving on to the next.

Questions we talk about including: 

• What was the hardest thing you said to someone?
• What is different about you from this time last year?
• What internal challenge has taught you the most about yourself?
• How did you align your behavior with your values?

This was a conversation that made us lose track of time.  Because even if the core conversation about transracial adoption doesn’t capture your attention - which it should because nearly 30% of kids who are adopted are adopted across borders or across cultures or race - the trajectory this conversation takes into why adoption should NOT be positioned as a solution to abortion absolutely is a perspective you don’t want to miss - along with all the other nuggets of wisdom around identity and belonging as well.

Thrilled to be bringing you insights from Patrick Armstrong, someone we don’t just know from the virtual airwaves but now, thanks to some great opportunities to speak together, in real life too. And if you want to hear more about his journey as not only an adoptee, but as an outspoken advocate for adoptees and, due to his lived experience, transracial adoptees in particular, you’re going to want to listen all the way to the end, and then follow him on every platform out there.

What to listen for: 

• The moment that Patrick - a transracial adoptee from Korea, raised in a White family - realized that he wanted to explore his Asian identity.  Hat tip, Always Be My Maybe.
• How transracial adoption shaped Patrick’s identity and influenced his sense of belonging
• That adoption currently centers the child - and the importance of considering the adults, and how broken the systems are that lead to families being torn apart 
• Thoughts on positioning adoption as the alternative to abortion.  Hint: It’s not.

About Patrick:  

Patrick Armstrong (he/him) is a transracial Korean American adoptee, podcaster, speaker, and

advocate. He is one of the co-hosts of the Janchi Show, a podcast that explores and celebrates

the experiences and stories of Korean adoptees everywhere. He helped start the Asian

Adoptees of Indiana, a group dedicated to creating a safe, engaging community for all Asian

adoptees who need it. He is currently based in Indianapolis.

Contact:

Website

Instagram: @patrickintheworld

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It’s December, the time of year when it seems like regardless of whether you celebrate Christmas or Hannukkah or Kwanzaa or anything else or nothing at all, our schedules get busy. And lots of times, this busyness centers around food, be it potluck gatherings at work, holiday parties, big family dinners, or even coffee and treats with friends - because food brings us together as human beings better than almost anything else.

But what happens when the foods you have are scoffed at by the folks around you? How does it feel to be made to feel “different” from the other Americans around you based on your cultural heritage? How do you get kids to try new flavors and learn real history, let’s be honest, at this stage in the melting pot game, what makes something American, anyway? We’re here to talk about all that and more with an award-winning veteran journalist Michelle Li - who also created the Very Asian Foundation after a super shocking (now viral) viewer comment in response to her comment about dumplings on television.

What to listen for: 

• The viral video after a voicemail from a White woman that inspired the launch of the Very Asian Foundation
• “I won’t let you yuck someone else’s yum” - and the importance of food in identity
• The role that books play - there’s a huge book recommendation list! - in helping folks connect with their identity and the shared history we experience

About Michelle:  Michelle Li is an award-winning, veteran journalist who co-launched The Very Asian Foundation in January 2022 alongside friend and fellow journalist Gia Vang. Her response to a racist voicemail became a global movement of unity and caught the attention of The Ellen Show. Ellen’s monetary gift of $15,000 helped start the seed money to create a nonprofit focused on shining a light on Asian experiences through advocacy and celebration.  Michelle spent many years supporting adoptees through heritage camps and volunteer tours to Korea. She also launched a program to support Missouri children in foster care. All of this led to a congressional award in 2010. Michelle’s journalistic work has been honored with a national Peabody Award, several national Murrows, and multiple regional Emmys– often dealing with race or gender inequities. Michelle has appeared on CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, and The Washington Post. Michelle currently resides in St. Louis with her family. She is @michellelitv on most platforms. A Very Asian Guide to Korean Food is her first children's book.  

We’ve been asked a lot about how to have uncomfortable conversations lately - namely, the reality that, yikes, my people are coming over for the holidays and how on earth do I handle it when those uncomfortable, racist, inappropriate comments and jokes come up? (Because let’s be real - they’re coming up.)

While there is no official checklist for success, we DO have quite a number of tips to help guide you and your group into more meaningful, engaging conversations around your holiday table.

If you know our podcast, you know we’re all about action, so we’re re-airing this episode that’s quickly becoming a favorite one for many of our listeners in order to share some of the tips that have worked for us - in order not to avoid these conversations, but to have them in a way that’s authentic, honest, and safe for all of us.

We’d love to hear what’s worked for you too, as you navigate whatever uncomfortable conversations might be coming your way - please drop us a line at hello at dearwhitewomen.com and we might share what’s worked for you on our social!

What to listen for:  Tips for before, during, and after your holiday gatherings A selection of these tips include: knowing yourself and your why,  setting healthy boundaries,  using our favorite question “what do you mean by that?”  using “I statements,”  questions you can use to reflect on what worked / didn’t work after the event. You’ll want to listen to the short episode to get the whole range of how to use these tips and more!

For those of you who have been listening to Dear White Women from the beginning, or for those listeners who just joined us (welcome!), you probably understand that this whole platform comes from our own deeply personal connections not only to this work but to the world that we’d like to see in the future, as we find that it’s often that personal connection that leads to intentional, lasting change.

That’s why we loved speaking with today’s guest, Stacy Sawin, who comes to us with her own deeply personal story as to why she created FinAbility, an organization that is changing and enhancing security for so many survivors of domestic abuse – especially from a financial perspective. A huge percentage of survivors are experiencing financial abuse along with other forms of harm, so even if her story has nothing to do with your own lived experiences, it’s likely that someone you know can relate - so please listen, share, and, if you’re listening to this on the day it comes out, financially support on this Giving Tuesday, if you’re able.

What to listen for: 

• The way that Stacy’s personal experience as a survivor of stalking shaped the founding of Finability
• How race plays a factor in survivors’ financial access
• 95% of survivors won’t use formalized support systems such as crisis hotlines,  direct service providers, or professional advocates; instead, they're turning to Google… 
• New languaging → harm-doers (as opposed to abusers)
• What each one of us can do to better support survivors after they share their stories with us - believe and validate

About Stacy: 

Stacy Sawin is the co-founder and CEO of FinAbility, a 501c3 nonprofit that financially empowers survivors of domestic abuse. As a stalking survivor, she has experienced firsthand what it feels like to be scared for your life and is dedicated to ensuring everyone has the financial security needed to live free from abuse and thrive. 

Prior to launching FinAbility, Stacy earned an MBA from London Business School and worked as a technology consultant at Deloitte. Stacy is also an avid long-distance hiker and fosters dogs with Oregon Dog Rescue.

For a lot of the second half of this year, student debt relief and the student loan crisis have been in national news - and there have been a LOT of feelings about it, ranging from joy and happiness that some of this extreme burden to repay what often can amount to predatory lending practices has now been lifted to the other extreme, which amounts to a lot of “well, I repaid my debt. Why should others be getting a handout?” (If you know us, you know where we fall on that scale.)

But there’s so much more to this story than the question of handouts versus the student debt crisis, because, much like so many other things in the United States, student debt and student loans have also been affected by systemic racism. This is why we’re so thrilled to have Briana Franklin as our guest today, to talk about how and why student loan debt disproportionately affects Black women, her own experience with this as a Dartmouth graduate, and why she decided to do something about this - in a big way.

What to listen for: 

• How handling student debt is like “draining the ocean with a teaspoon” - and the inspiration behind Bri’s founding of the Priosp(a)rity Project
• The ways in which student loan debt disproportionately affects Black women, not just financially, but in a holistic life way too
• Huge successes and surprises that the organization has been celebrating
• What’s next for 2023 - and how you can get involved

About Briana: Founder, President, & CEO of Finability.     

Briana "Bri" Franklin is a businesswoman, philanthropist, and student debt expert/thought leader with a passion for the socioeconomic and holistic empowerment of Black girls and women.

Having taken on a financial burden that eventually ballooned to nearly $120K in student debt through her undergraduate studies at Dartmouth College, Bri developed an acute appreciation for the challenges many student debt holders experience, including diminished ability to establish financial independence, take advantage of personal freedoms, such as starting a family/home buying, launch business ventures as well as creditworthiness.

In recognizing the extent to which other Black women in particular experience adversity at the hands of the $1.7T student debt crisis as well as lack of financial literacy, she formed The Prosp(a)rity Project as a solution for eradicating these systemic barriers.

Her work has been profiled in outlets such as Forbes, Buzzfeed, Authority Magazine, and Thrive Global, attracted support from audiences worldwide, and achieved numerous milestones.

Hey, so remember how last week we were talking about how we have hope?  This is another conversation and way of thinking that gives me hope - in particular for anybody who knows children, knows new parents, or thinks they might eventually know folks who might want to stop reading the outdated encyclopedia that we call What to Expect when you’re Expecting and flip over to a more contemporary, inclusive, humane book to learn about parenting.  

Misasha got the opportunity to speak with Jelani Memory recently on their Better Grownups podcast and we’re thrilled to bring him back to discuss the company’s newest venture - 100 Diverse Voices on Parenthood.  

What to listen for: 

• The many powerful ways this new parenting book - 100 Diverse Voices on Parenthood - stands out from the books currently on the market
• What it took to produce A Kids Co book written by so many people, for adults, compared to the single-author kid books they’ve published so far
• How Jelani hopes that all parents - White parents included - know that this book is for them, to give the proverbial microphone to a wide range of people who are experts in their own experiences and have the knowledge to share with all of us.
• The exciting next steps for A Kids Co! 

About Jelani:

Jelani Memory (he/him) is a constantly curious writer, entrepreneur, and storyteller. He's the Founder of A Kids Co. a bold new kind of media company that strives to empower a generation of kids through diverse storytelling.  He's the author of A Kids Book About Racism and A Little Book About Fear.  He was previously co-founder of Circle Media Inc. He currently lives in his hometown of Portland, Oregon, with his wife and 6 kids.

If you’re reading this on the day this episode comes out, this is a big, big day in America. It’s Election Day 2022, and we don’t think it’s an understatement to say that this is the most important election that those of us who have the privilege to vote in will be voting in - because this election may determine if you or I even get to be able to vote in the next election. So, if you’re reading this and have not yet voted today - stop reading, and please, please go vote. We need everyone’s voice in these elections, as the alternative may be that our voices no longer matter.  And now onto some hope…

This is the first time that we’ve had hope in a long, long time, thanks to the book How We Win The Civil War. In today’s conversation with author Steve Phillips, we’re going to discuss the idea that the Civil War never really ended (yup, get ready…) - and also how we can finally win it, with some very concrete ideas and action items for us all at the end of this episode. This may be the episode you need to hear today, on election day, or tomorrow (and every day past that point), when we need to keep fighting, for all of us.

What to listen for: 

• The fully thought-out case for why the Civil War never really ended - with excellent examples from history
• How we win the civil war - by investing in level 5 leaders, building strong civic engagement organizations, developing detailed data-driven plans, and playing the long game 
• That we need to lead by winning the political battles, to eventually influence individual hearts & minds toward equity
• So much about the long game… oh we need to reframe our work, folks!
• What Steve thinks would be most impactful for White people to focus on speaking up about and doing
• Which organizations and people we should be supporting to make positive change

About Steve: Steve Phillips is a New York Times bestselling author, columnist, and leading national political thought leader. He is the author of the New York Times and Washington Post bestselling Brown Is the New White: How the Demographic Revolution Has Created a New American Majority. He is also the founder of Democracy in Color, a political media organization dedicated to race, politics, and the multicultural progressive New American Majority. Phillips is the host of “Democracy in Color with Steve Phillips,” a color-conscious podcast on politics. He is a regular columnist for The Nation and The Guardian. His new book, How We Win the Civil War, is due out on October 18, 2022.  For more information, please visit: stevephillips.com

DEAR WHITE WOMEN  - About that Voter Fraud…

If you saw the title and thought “oh, I don’t believe voter fraud impacts me” or “oh, I live in an area where we don’t hear much about that” - you may be very, very wrong. According to a recent analysis by FiveThirtyEight, 60% of Americans will have an election denier on the ballot.

And for those of you who have only heard about election deniers since 2020 - it didn’t start with Donald Trump. Hint: it started with our friend who rhymes with Schmeagan. HA!

THIS episode is one you’ll want to share with your friends & colleagues asap, because you want to make sure you apply the information we’re about to share when you’re filling out your ballot or heading to the polls next week - we’ll tell you just how dangerous and pervasive this trend of alleging voter fraud is, which means *our entire system of democracy is at risk*  And THAT will affect all of us.

What to listen for: 

• Proof that Trump and his allies deliberately lied - in writing, under oath, to a court, and to the public - about so-called voter fraud numbers, via the Eastman emails. 
• Current examples of how voter fraud is being used to manipulate people and elections.  Example: Echoing the claims of Trump in 2020, Arizona Republican nominee for governor Kari Lake refused to say that she would accept the results of the upcoming election-- unless she wins.  
• This widespread, thoroughly debunked claim of voter fraud is a rejection of the whole premise on which this nation was founded: voters have the right to choose their leaders.  In fact, the Declaration of Independence states that governments derive “their just power from the consent of the governed.” 
• How none of this is new:  the Democrats caught onto the Republican “ballot integrity” initiative in the 1986 presidential election -- estimating that their plans could “eliminate at least 60–80,000 folks from the rolls” in Louisiana, and “could keep the Black vote down considerably” (blatant racism and that’s real voter fraud there) – and counterattacked by expanding voting access.  
• That the Supreme Court’s 2013 Shelby County v. Holder decision gutted the provision of the 1965 Voting Rights Act.
• How domestic terrorism is being used in places like Arizona, Nevada, and others to intimidate voters and election officials - leading to a large number of resignations, with the hopes that election deniers can take their place.  
• What we can do about it:  VOTE - have a ballot party to discuss issues with friends, meet candidates, and ask questions.  Volunteer to be a poll worker.  
• If you’re an attorney and familiar with election law - please reach out. There are ways that you can get involved with FOIA requests to help the election officials be able to do their job.

Share this episode with EVERYBODY so they get out and vote while being informed!

Abortion, by all pollster accounts, seems to be one of – if not THE most – hot-button issues for the upcoming midterm elections in 2022. That’s why we thought it was so important for us to dive into why and when abortion became so political - because yes, we can point to a specific political strategy that linked the pro-life movement with the Republican party, and how that is playing out today in extreme ways. Get ready to connect the dots.

What to listen for: 

• How recently - in the 1970s - evangelical organizations and Republicans did NOT oppose abortion
• The long-game strategy tying opposition to desegregation with abortion as the unifying issue for conservative Republicans
• Why certain political figures (especially Reagan) changed their stance on abortion due to not only a desire for power but also due to underlying racism

That looking away means no change - which means, a very large number of American women will have a much harder time getting access to abortion. Abortion is definitely on the ballot this year, along with racism - they are intricately linked and have been so for centuries in this country. So vote. Tell everyone you know.

If you asked me (Misasha) at the end of 2021 how long it had been since we published our book, I would have told you 5 years, give or take 3 - because it felt like we had been thrown into this whirlwind of activity and PR and interviews and ALL OF THE THINGS about this book. So it seems impossible that just now marks the one-year anniversary of the publication of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism!  

In honor of this one-year mark, we thought we’d sit down with each other to talk all things book, based on the questions we’ve gotten from so many of you over the last year: the good, the bad, the really tough, the things we’d like to forget - basically your behind-the-scenes look into our year with this book out in the world.  

Plus, as a thank you for your support, keep listening for the chance to have us do a special virtual drop-in with your book club or your small group of people!!

What to listen for: 

• The most memorable, joyful, cringeworthy conversations we’ve had on TV, radio, and conversations IRL since publishing this book in October 2021
• Why we wrote this book in the first place
• Where we’d like to see this book go next
• How to get us to come to YOUR book club or community - follow us on IG and get on our email list to learn more!  

Have you ever had your eyes glaze over when someone hands you a history textbook or walks you through a museum full of facts and dates?  But then you hate yourself because you are smart and yet don’t feel like you *know* things?  I’ve been that person (it’s Sara here) - which is why I’m absolutely thrilled to share this conversation with the authors of a fabulous historical fiction novel that taught me SO MUCH about American history and the Civil War in particular.  We learned so much in reading this book, in particular about experiences that were never taught in school, or were glossed over in favor of a simpler narrative. 

The book is The Thread Collectors - go get it from our Bookshop.org page for the Dear White Women podcast - and it was written by two friends, a Black woman, and a White Jewish woman.  Think about how much weight there is just in that partnership alone.

This conversation takes us deep into belonging, the lessons we learn from history that are SO relevant today, and the hope we all still have for where we can go from here.

What to listen for: 

• Where the authors, who weave a graceful tale of hope through war, find inspiration and hope today 
• How the authors’ own family histories inspired their characters, writing, and perspectives
• The authors explain their opening epigraph, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you should know where you came from,” how they selected the stories and histories they featured, and why understanding this history is relevant to where we are in society now
• What it was like, and what it took, for a Black woman and a White Jewish woman to write a novel together about the Civil War

About the book: THE THREAD COLLECTORS is set in 1863: In a small Creole cottage in New Orleans, an ingenious young Black woman named Stella embroiders intricate maps on repurposed cloth to help enslaved men flee and join the Union Army. Bound to a man who would kill her if he knew of her clandestine activities, Stella has to hide not only her efforts but her love for William, a Black soldier, and a brilliant musician.  Meanwhile, in New York City, a Jewish woman stitches a quilt for her husband, who is stationed in Louisiana with the Union Army. Between abolitionist meetings, Lily rolls bandages and crafts quilts with her sewing circle for other soldiers too, hoping for their safe return home. But when months go by without word from her husband, Lily resolves to make the perilous journey South to search for him. As the two women risk everything for love and freedom during a brutal Civil War, their paths converge in New Orleans, where an unexpected encounter leads them to discover that even the most delicate threads have the capacity to save us.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS: ALYSON RICHMAN is the USA Today and #1 international bestselling author of several historical novels, including The Velvet Hours, The Garden of Letters, and The Lost Wife, which is currently in development for a major motion picture. Alyson graduated from Wellesley College with a degree in art history and Japanese studies. She is an accomplished painter and her novels combine her deep love of art, historical research, and travel. Alyson's novels have been published in twenty-five languages and have reached bestseller lists both in the United States and abroad. She lives on Long Island with her husband and two children, where she is currently at work on her next novel. Find her on Instagram, @alysonrichman. 

SHAUNNA J. EDWARDS has a BA in literature from Harvard College and a JD from NYU School of Law. A former corporate lawyer, she now works in diversity, equity, and inclusion. She is a native Louisianian, raised in New Orleans, and currently lives in Harlem with her husband. The Thread Collectors is her first novel. Find her on Instagram, @shaunnajedwards. 

When you think of physical education, or PE, or gym class - what do you remember?  Probably the physical side of it, like jump rope or pull-ups or dodgeball or kickball.  But what blew our mind in today’s conversation is all of the seemingly invisible, yet intentional, ways PE class teaches us about social interactions, our own capabilities, deconstructing perfectionism, and more - and frighteningly, how so many schools in the US now don’t mandate PE, as it’s a class that’s having to fight for its right to exist in the education system.  

As we kick off the new 2022-2023 school year, listen to what we’ll be missing out on in our next generation if we don’t start thinking about what and how we teach our children.

What to listen for: 

• Why PE is important - especially when it goes beyond the measurements and into being a social laboratory
• How resistance shows up in physical education, and how to address it
• Helping children navigate the difficult or uncomfortable conversations that play out in spaces of play 
• The privilege Sherri feels of being a Black American woman living in Europe

About Sherri: Sherri Spelic teaches elementary physical education at an international school in Vienna, Austria. She has written extensively on topics related to education, identity, and power and among other things publishes a monthly social justice newsletter for educators: Bending The Arc. Check out her book of essays, Care At The Core or find her on Twitter @edifiedlistener. 

Feed title: From A Slight Change of Plans: Civil Rights Icon Ruby Bridges 

Feed description: 

I’m sharing a special episode from another podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, from Pushkin Industries. In this preview, civil rights icon Ruby Bridges shares what it was like to be the first African-American student to attend an all-white elementary school in Louisiana in 1960. Ruby was just six years old at the time, and it would be years before she fully appreciated her role in advancing civil rights in America. Hear the full episode, and more from A Slight Change of Plans.

Nothing to kick off this next episode like a fiery title, right?  But in case it makes you question whether you’ll hit play, please know that this isn’t your typical economics podcast, nor is it going to be so dry that you turn this off 5 minutes into listening.  

That said, it IS crucial for you to listen if you want to understand how policies that were made now 40 years ago are still directly affecting us to this day – plus, it gives you a sense of just how important it is to consider who our representatives are, and how you’re going to vote in the midterm elections coming up in 2022.

So buckle up - economics may never have been so interesting.

What to listen for:

• Our cyclical history: power being consolidated in the hands of a few rich White folks, and then being redistributed, and then consolidated again
• Challenging the myth of the cowboy who was painted as a hardworking White man who wanted nothing of the government but to be left alone to work out his own future
• The clearly racist things President Reagan said and believed - and how that played into his (in)famous economic policies
• The dissolution of social safety nets, and how that plays into the recent student debt relief - and society’s reactions - from the Biden administration

For more on the GI Bill, listen to Episode 88: Fighting Both Hitler and Jim Crow: Honor Our BIPOC Veterans

The 2022 Republican Party would have never been able to back Abraham Lincoln as their presidential candidate - except for one tiny detail: Lincoln was a Republican, and espoused the original beliefs of the Republican Party (down to the anti-slavery, committed to equality part). 

So how did we get from Lincoln’s Republican Party to today’s Trump political base? 

Who were the Whigs? 

What do we mean when we say Southern Democrats? 

Why does this cycle of money and power keep reappearing on the political stage, over and over again?

If those are some of the questions you have - or even if those are questions you’ve never thought of asking yourself, but you realize that somewhere, someone made some changes to how we define political parties in this country, and it’s important to understand just how far the 2022 Republican party is from those original Republican ideals - then this is the episode for you. 

It’s like US History all over again, except more engaging, more relevant, and it includes stuff you’ll actually remember… hopefully long enough to go vote.  

What to listen for: 

• What the two original American political parties were (hint: Republican wasn’t one of them)
• Why the Republican Party was formed, and the two ideals that held it together
• How the Republican Party and Democrat Party switched ideologies over time, but how it was really Truman and Johnson, two Southern Democrat Presidents, who pushed that ideological change through their pro-civil rights stances (which weren’t even that extreme at times)
• What we can do with this information from a practical perspective: go vote, and get loud.

Someone very smart sent me an article just today that talks about the role of humor when we deal with stressful situations/anxiety-creating moments. And on that front: have any of you (and in this moment, I think we’re specifically talking to White people) ever felt weighed down by how heavy anti-racism work can be?  You maybe noticed that sometimes we’re pretty serious on this show…  

Though I’m a serious, overthinking person sometimes, in real life I’m goofy and I actually make fun of myself quite a lot, texting photos of myself in awful workout outfits to you, you have the driest sense of humor of all the people I know except for your husband like we’re not that dry.  

So what do you all think about listening to about 15 minutes of one of the funniest activist-comedians out there today - hearing how HE, a funny guy, might explain what might be great for White women to do in this work, how to process how tired we all are, and what crocheting has to do with it.

What to listen for: 

• Why understanding the history of the United States is important to understanding where we are today
• What Kamau Bell would tell White women on the whole - including how if we had the same energy for anti-racism that we had for coordinating our kids' summer camps, we would be there by the end of the summer, maybe?
• There’s no issue of oppression in this country that hurts White people that doesn’t connect back to really really hurting the Black, Brown, Indigenous, Asian, and Latinx populations 

W. KAMAU BELL is a dad, husband, and comedian. He directed and executive-produced the four-part Showtime documentary We Need To Talk About Cosby, which premiered at Sundance. He famously met with the KKK on his Emmy-Award-winning CNN docu-series United Shades of America with W. Kamau Bell, where he serves as host and executive producer. He has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Conan, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, CBS Mornings, MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Comedy Central, HBO, Fresh Air with Terry Gross, WTF with Marc Maron, The Breakfast Club, and This American Life. He has two stand-up comedy specials, Private School Negro (Netflix) and Semi-Prominent Negro (Showtime). Kamau’s writing has been featured in Time, The New York Times, Vanity Fair, The Hollywood Reporter, CNN.com, Salon, and The LA Review of Books. Kamau’s first book has an easy-to-remember title, The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell: Tales of a 6' 4", African American, Heterosexual, Cisgender, Left-Leaning, Asthmatic, Black and Proud Blerd, Mama's Boy, Dad, and Stand-Up Comedian. He is the ACLU Artist Ambassador for Racial Justice and serves on the board of directors of Donors Choose and the advisory board of Hollaback! Along with Kate Schatz, he’s the co-author of Do the Work: An Anti-Racist Activity Book. For more information, please visit: http://www.wkamaubell.com/, or follow W. Kamau on Twitter here and Instagram here.

In all of this anti-racism work, have you ever had a time when the fear of making a mistake kept you from speaking up?  It’s not every day we get to interview a NYT bestselling author who’s willing to share how she’s made mistakes so that you know we ALL mess up from time to time.  

A huge hello and welcome to author Kate Schatz - author, activist, educator, and queer feminist mama who’s been talking, writing, and teaching about race, gender, social justice, and equity for many years.  She’s also an incredible person who wrote a blurb in support of our book and showed up IN PERSON to host our Dear White Women book launch tour in San Francisco!  

If you’ve got kids, go buy her Rad Women book series, and now, go buy the workbook she co-authored with next week’s guest, Kamau Bell - it’s called Do the work: An AntiRacist Activity Book.  Which I just found in the library too!  But it’s much better to buy your own copy so you can write all throughout it.  Listen in to learn about what she’s hearing from White women, what sorts of mistakes she’s made - especially White women, listen up, we all make mistakes! So get over it and GO DO THE WORK - and listen to how you can use this workbook in your own life.  

What to listen for: 

• What pushbacks Kate hears from White women
• Some mistakes Kate has made in “the work” of anti-racism
• Why it was important to include dialogue between the co-authors in each section of the book
• Kate’s thoughts on what people can start doing immediately after buying the workbook

KATE SCHATZ is an author, activist, educator, and queer feminist mama who's been talking, writing and teaching about race, gender, social justice, and equity for many years. She's the New York Times-bestselling author of the "Rad Women" book series, (Rad American Women A-Z, Rad Women Worldwide, Rad Girls Can, and Rad American History A-Z), and her book of fiction Rid of Me: A Story is part of the cult-favorite 33 ⅓ series. Along with W. Kamau Bell, she’s the co-author of Do the Work: An AntiRacist Activity Book.  For more information, please visit: https://www.kateschatz.com/, or follow Kate on Twitter here and Instagram here.

Over the last 3.5 years, we’ve had this weekly podcast (now on episode 182!), we’ve written a book (Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism), and we’ve spoken with many different people at many different organizations.  Meaning, we’ve heard and learned a lot of things.

With a few exceptions, our sense is that people *want* to be seen as good people; they say they *want* to be more anti-racist.  But despite their best intentions, some things get in the way of you actually *doing* something to make positive change: You don’t feel like you know enough, you don’t want to make a mistake, and so you don’t feel like you know what to actually do.

So this episode is meant as a kick in the pants at the end of our summer of action, to give you a LOT of ideas.  Listen through and if something sparks your interest or speaks to you, write it down; remember it; come back to it and DO it.  

Listen for tips on what you can do at your kitchen table, your workplace, the voting booth, with your money, at your kids’ schools if you have kids, and more. 

And then the best thing you can do?  Share this episode with a friend - and let us know what you think!

Related episodes: 

Episode 139: Vote for Humanity 

You might be tired of hearing about the Supreme Court taking away people’s rights - but the process behind how SCOTUS does that is important, as depending on the results of the midterms, we may be seeing this more, and with a much wider scope. 

For example, do you know what SCOTUS did about immigration in July? And if your response was “Wait, what?” then this episode is for you. Tune in to hear about that decision (which stemmed from a Texas judicial challenge to the Biden administration), what that means for immigration policy in general, and how you can take action.

What to listen for: 

• That the Executive Branch (i.e. President) is meant to control immigration policy - and how people who were mad at the Biden administration's shift in policy got back at him by suing and letting a Texas judge curtail their ability to direct their Department of Homeland Security staff
• How SCOTUS’s decision goes against decades of precedent around immigration policy in our country, which balances enforcement with mercy
• What you can do about this - including learning the history of our immigration policy; voting; telling people about what SCOTUS is doing ahead of the decision in 2023; supporting organizations that do the work at the border to uphold humanitarian efforts.

Related Episodes: 

Episode 36: The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend - about Miller

Episode 27: Recognizing the Humanity in Everyone - about Hispanic Heritage Month and immigration

In our book, we talk about the federal boarding schools that were just for Native American children - and by boarding schools, we mean that the U.S. government rounded up Native children over the course of 150 years (!!), separated them from their parents and often took them hundreds of miles away… and often times, those kids never came home. 

If you haven’t heard that story (which is fairly common, given the erasure of the Native narrative in this country), this episode is for you, because without understanding this history, you won’t understand how we are where we are now with over 570 federally recognized Native American Nations within the United States - while most people we hear say they’re not sure they’ve ever spoken with a person of Native descent. 

For more, go buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and make sure you’re following this podcast for more!

What to listen for: 

• How last year, Deb Haaland, who is the first Native American woman to hold a Cabinet office position in the US government (she’s Secretary of the Interior), commissioned the first ever report on the Federal Indian Boarding School System 
• How the government coerced Native families into sending their kids (it really wasn’t a choice), and the (horrific) conditions the children experienced in the schools - including the discovery of many unmarked graves
• What questions have yet to be answered, what you can do about sharing history like this including  in your kid’s schools, how you can respect the Native lands you currently live on, and participate in reparations.

Click here for the full report.

Listen to our episode with Crystal Echohawk here.

Have you ever been that kid who tugged at the corner of your eyes, pretending to be Asian, or maybe even mocked people of Asian descent?  In today’s episode, Sara shares the story of when a little neighborhood boy did that to her.  

Sure, there might be some sweeping generalizations you can make about Asian people - a lot tend to have dark hair, more almond-shaped eyes - but the truth is, in America, people who fall into the broad bucket of “Asian” have among the largest differences of all the large groupings like White, or Black, or Hispanic.  Asians are NOT all the same.

So today, we’ll discuss all the basic things you need to know about the model minority myth - NO we are not all good at math nor do we all play the violin - and what you can do differently to make sure you’re not that person.  

For more, go buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and make sure you’re following this podcast for more!

What to listen for: 

• When and how the concept of a model minority was created
• The things that are wrong about the model minority myth  
• Three things you can do differently: catch yourself if you make assumptions about Asian people; don’t ask “where are you really from?” and know why that’s not okay; learn more about the many different narratives of Asian countries and people.

Related episodes:

Episode 107: We have a White accountability problem

Episode 112: Asians at (Public) School, with Alan Mak

Episode 113: Anti-Asian Racism Ain’t New, People

Episode 115: Asians at Work, with Jerry Won

In 2020, after the murder of George Floyd, many of us heard the phrase “qualified immunity” for the first time in a new light - but what does the phrase even mean?  And why is it so important when we think about police, driving (or existing) while Black, and civil rights in this country?  We’ll talk about all of this in today’s episode, so we can help set some context for a major conversation happening in our country - one about abolition.  

Listen in, and if you want more, go buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and make sure you’re following this podcast for more!

What to listen for: 

• What it is - Qualified immunity is a defense that law enforcement and other government officials can use in defense against lawsuits that ask for monetary damages for alleged civil rights violations. In other words, it’s a way that officers can avoid being held liable for his or her actions.
• Examples of when qualified immunity has been called into action, to make it easier to understand
• Information about how qualified immunity is not actually a law; it was a judicial doctrine that was created and then restated by the Supreme Court through Section 1983 
• Why we still have qualified immunity - fear, not based in fact - and what we as a society might do differently to give victims a means of seeking justice

More information on qualified immunity through the Equal Justice Initiative and Public Justice. 

Related Episodes:

Episode 67: How the US Police System has Failed Black People Since Inception Link to episodes on Black Codes

Episode 140: Becoming Abolitionists, with Derecka Purnell

This episode was recorded before the Dobbs decision came out, but it highlights what we know to be true - there is a disparate impact on Black and brown women when it comes to reproductive justice in this country. And for all of you who have told us, “I’d really like to be friends with Black women, but I don’t understand their experiences,” you’ll want to listen extra carefully. 

This episode highlights all of the extra things that Black women go through when it comes to things that should be safe in our country for all women: pregnancy, childbirth, maternal mortality, and so much more. We hope you listen, and then take action in your own communities to protect the rights of all people with the capacity for pregnancy.

What to listen for: 

• How our politicians still seem to want to separate race from maternal health statistics, and why that couldn’t be farther from the truth
• Why historic inequity plays a role into not only maternal health, but fetal health, pregnancy care, and so much more
• What we can do right now to be allies in this struggle that impacts all of us, including resources you’ll want to bookmark

Other episodes to listen to:

• Episode 13, on Racial Disparities in the US Healthcare System with Dr. Monique Rainford

Episode 68, on Why Repro Justice is Racial Justice with Mariko Miki

One question that comes up frequently enough from White, or non-Black, people to cause us to write not only a whole chapter in our book trying to answer it, but also record this podcast episode, is short but impactful: “Can I say the N-word?” 

The short answer is no. Absolutely not. The longer answer? Listen to this episode to hear not only why you should never be saying the n-word, but also why it’s so important to educate our kids to never say it either. 

What to listen for: 

• The history of how the n-word came to be, and how it never had any other meaning besides a hateful one
• Who has used the n-word throughout history (and that still never makes it okay for White people to say it)
• Sara’s advice for non-Black parents of non-Black kids with regard to how to teach our kids about this word

So our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism is broken into three sections: On Being White in America; On Being Black in America; On Being a Non-Black Person of Color in America.  

And here’s the question we get when people see that structure: Why do we need to focus on the experiences of Black people in this country? 

In this episode, we tell you why - including sharing some things we all need to (re)learn, since it’s not all taught in our schools.

What to listen for: 

• Establishing that slavery was part of the founding of this country
• Why we are still talking about this, two years after the murder of George Floyd (including Misasha’s personal feelings about her family’s safety - and how that fear hasn’t changed AT ALL over the last couple of years)
• Book recommendations to learn more of the history we weren’t taught in schools, including The New Jim Crow, The Sum of Us, How the Word Was Passed, and our book

For the past 3+ years, we’ve been getting loud on this podcast, where our stated mission is to help White women use their privilege to uproot systemic racism without centering themselves in the process. This summer, we’ve been specifically focused on answering the question we often get, “what can we do to be more anti-racist?” and have been releasing bite sized pieces of our work, especially with regard to our recent book, so that we can help White women and allies do this work.

Then, we got a gut punch last week in the form of the Dobbs v. Jackson opinion, which effectively overturned Roe v. Wade and left the regulation of abortion access up to “elected officials of the states,” which set off a number of trigger laws and leaves abortion, and reproductive justice in general, in jeopardy for anyone who has a uterus, or any birthing person, in this country. 

So today, we are responding with our thoughts and suggestions.

What to listen for: 

• The problems we had with some of the knee-jerk reactions we saw from White women on social media
• How disappointing it is to hear so many stories of senior-level White women not speaking up against this decision to remove bodily autonomy from women in the United States
• Things to stop doing (stop playing the game; stop letting men control the conversation; stop resorting to performative allyship on social media, 
• Things to start doing (start putting being a woman first before being White; start learning from people who’ve been in this fight for a long time, as in, Black, brown, and other marginalized identities; start using your voice in your own spheres of influence 

Sign up for our emails so you get the two-parter that’s coming out with a list of the resources that we believe are going to make the most difference for the most impacted individuals:  https://www.dearwhitewomen.com/email-signup

All Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter, and decentering the White experience in these conversations.  That’s what we’re discussing in today’s episode, because White people, you keep asking us what you can DO differently to be more anti-racist.  And while we won’t offer a checklist, we do have an incredible, level-setting book Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism that you can buy to learn more!

What to listen for: 

• What Black Lives Matter *really* means
• Alicia Garza’s quote: “Black Lives Matter doesn’t mean your life isn’t important - it means that Black lives, which are seen as without value within White supremacy, are important to your liberation.”
• The two analogies we use in reply, when someone says, “but All Lives Matter…”
• An explanation for why “Blue Lives Matter” is not a valid comparison or rebuttal to Black Lives Matter

White people, you keep asking us what you can DO differently to be more anti-racist.  So this summer, we’re answering that question in bite-sized ways.  This isn’t a checklist; this is simply a primer.  If you want more, go buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism.

Today, we’re talking about what the real differences are between performative allyship and real allyship.  What does it take to actually be an ally, as opposed to just calling yourself one?  Listen in and share this episode with a friend you think might be able to talk with you about all of this!  

What to listen for: 

• What performative allyship looks like, especially when it comes to social media
• How to be a better White friend
• What you need to DO to be a real ally (key word being DO), and concrete ways that you can make change in your own spheres of influence

Other episodes to listen to:

• Episode 87, on how to be an ally when you feel overwhelmed

Episode 129, on how to have conversations past performative allyship with Jeff Harry

As biracial - Japanese and White - hosts of a long-running weekly podcast, we are very aware that, given how we look, we have, at times, benefited from White privilege.  We are also very clear that this is a privilege that Misasha’s Black husband will never once benefit from.

Today’s short episode dives into defining what White privilege is, explaining common misconceptions of the term, and what to do when we (or others) push back against accepting the truth about our privilege.  Listen in and share this episode with a friend you think might be able to talk with you about all of this!  

What to listen for: 

• What is White privilege?  It means the privilege White people have of NOT getting knocked down a peg based on their skin color
• Explaining common misperceptions - including making it clear that White privilege is NOT financial privilege (though governmental policy has been biased against the financial success of people of color)
• How do we help ourselves when we want to deny our own privilege?  What do we say when other people say they don’t have White privilege?

More resources: Chapter 2 of our book, Dear White Women, Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism.

White people, you keep asking us what you can DO differently to be more anti-racist.  So this summer, we’re answering that question in bite-sized ways.  This isn’t a checklist; this is simply a primer.  If you want more, go buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism.

Today, we’re hitting up some of the most common points of push-back or questions we get when we talk with White people.  Because let’s be honest - talking about race and racism is uncomfortable… for everyone.  Listen in and share this episode with a friend you think might be able to talk with you about all of this!  

What to listen for: 

• The shift we all need to take from being “not racist” to anti-racist
• Why you should never say you’re colorblind
• Common points of pushback, including fear of cancel culture and perfectionism
• What do we say or do with our (White) kids?
• The huge amount of power women have in America to make a difference 

Other episodes to listen to:

• Episode 71 with Colin Seale on critical thinking for kids
• Episode 100 with Ervin Staub, who survived the Nazi invasion

This summer, instead of spending 50-60 minutes sharing some of the most amazingly honest and thought provoking conversations that we’ve been personally privileged to have (the listen), or doing a deep dive into some part of our collective history that we may have never learned about in school (the learn), or sometimes getting up on our soapbox to get loud and angry about what’s going on in current events and what we can do about it (the act), we’re shaking things up a bit. (Don’t worry - we’ll definitely do all of those things in the fall…).  

But in the summer, we’re doing shorter, focused episodes that lean into the practical tips that we dive into in our book, get very personal with us and our work, and aim to leave you with action items and agency to keep making a difference in your own spheres of influence, even in a summer that may be less structured or busier in different ways. And this episode includes a special AMA about being biracial and the most common questions we’re often asked about this part of our identities in America.

What to listen for: 

• How addressing both of our identities (Japanese and White) has impacted our perspectives about racism, and how that’s shifted since having kids
• What we think about our own racial identities
• Why we believe cultivating a strong grounding in your own identities is key for biracial individuals in America

In 2003, Misasha drove across the country from New York to Los Angeles with two of her law school girlfriends. In her words: “We were all Asian, and this was the time of SARS, so while they felt a LOT of eyes on us (and repeatedly joked, to ourselves, “no one cough, or we’re never getting out of here”, which wasn’t so much of a joke as us trying to make light of a painful reality), we never felt like we couldn’t stop at a gas station, or that we couldn’t find a place to stay at night, or that we couldn’t find a public restroom to use.” However, those restrictions were reality for generations of Black Americans, and the legacy of those restrictions continues to reverberate today, and that’s why our conversation is so important.

Today, we speak with Candacy Taylor about her carefully researched book about the Green Book, called the Overground Railroad (doesn’t the title alone make you want to hear more)?  We not only discuss the immense hurdles and realities for Black people who were just trying to go somewhere by car, but we also discuss topics like sundown towns (you may be surprised to hear that you might be living in one, historically), how institutionalized racism appears through overpasses, and what we all can do to make change right now.

What to listen for: 

• What it was like for a Black family to drive Route 66 
• A primer to sundown towns - the towns in the US in the 1900s that clearly did not allow people of color to stay after dark; towns that weren’t researched and discussed until the 2000s! 
• All about Victor Green, and the Green Book he created to help Black people safely navigate road trips, and more over time
• The shocking truths about how racist the Northern United States was/is, how sneaky people got in creating systems to keep Black people away, even without the Jim Crow signs of the South
• The parallels between the mid-1900s and today, and what Candacy wants more White women to do

Items of interest from today’s conversation: 

Truths about the US Prison System, with Marcus Bullock: Episodes 83 & 84 

See if the Smithsonian’s Negro Motorist Green Book exhibit is coming to your city! 

If you’ve ever heard about Ancestry.com and thought that this wasn’t something for you due to your own family’s immigration story, or alternately if you love nothing more than to have centuries of your family’s history in the United States documented for you, then this episode is for you. Or, if you’ve never heard of Ancestry before, but you work in corporate America and know you want to help make change for the better, or you’re a parent who wants to talk about origin stories with your own kids - you’ll still want to listen. This isn’t just about tracing your roots. This is about belonging, which is something that impacts all of us every day.

We had the amazing privilege of sitting down with Ashlee Davis, who is the Global Head of DEI at Ancestry, to talk not only about her road to her current position, but also really everything related to inclusion and belonging and psychological safety in so many spheres, and not just in her professional roles.  After this conversation, we left wanting so much more - and hopefully you will as well. Don’t sleep on this episode - you may want to listen to it a second time, and DEFINITELY share it with your friends.

What to listen for: 

• Major inspiration for getting involved in public service, based on Ashlee’s experience working in the White House during the Obama administration (hello, Air Force One?!)
• What role DEI programs play in corporate America - and what to do to make them more successful
• Honesty about what allyship is, particularly from White women
• The role belonging has played in Ashlee’s life

About Ashlee: 

Ashlee Davis, J.D. (she/her/hers) – Global Head of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

“One of the strongest and most important threads that unites all of us is the importance of family.”

Ashlee Davis brings 15 years of diversity and civil rights experience to lead Ancestry’s global end-to-end Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI) strategy. Her professional experience spans the industries of private, nonprofit, and the Executive branch of the federal government, where she held roles in agriculture, finance, banking, and social services. Ashlee served six years in the Obama administration in positions including the Senior Advisor for Civil Rights and Director of the National LGBT Rural Summer Series, a national initiative to connect LGBTQ+ and other marginalized communities with resources to address food insecurity, housing, and youth empowerment.   

In her role, Ashlee heads policies and programs to foster an inclusive and equitable work environment where there are diverse voices and backgrounds at the table. She also partners with product and marketing leaders to create inclusive product experiences to help everyone easily discover, craft, and connect around their family story.

Ashlee is a native of Nashville, TN, a proud graduate of the University of Pittsburgh and Howard University School of Law, an avid sports fan, and someone with wanderlust who is always planning her next adventure with her life partner.

When we’ve talked about intersectionality in the past, we’ve often talked about it with regard to race and gender, or gender and gender identity - but never quite like this. Our guest today is a queer British Chinese woman who also is a Brazilian Jujitsu competitor, an entrepreneur who raised over $10 million in venture capital financing, and the co-founder of an intentional, beautifully designed clothing company called ADAY.

If we were totally into perfectly performative scheduling, we might have had Meg on the show just as May turned into June, where we moved from AANHPI History month to LGBTQ Pride month, but we aren’t - because these stories are needed and valid all year round.  

What to listen for: 

• The importance of intentionality - and how ADAY leans into sustainable fashion and away from the capitalistic chase that so many fast fashion companies perpetuate right now
• Why it’s not always something new, but a new way to say or discuss something, that resonates with people
• How jiu-jitsu has helped Meg get more comfortable with being uncomfortable 
• The main messages Meg has been using her voice to speak out against, when it comes to her many intersectional identities
• Fertility as it relates to the queer couple experience

About Meg, from Meg:

I’m Meg, the co-founder and co-CEO of Aday, a sustainable capsule clothing brand, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu athlete and a business coach for athletes and gyms. I’m queer, British-Chinese and a digital nomad. Some of my Personal beliefs are as follows:

• Don't be bored: do things that make your heart beat faster by figuring out what you're really optimizing for. The intersection of what matters to you, what you're great at and what you love is a beautiful space.
• Be your best self: know what inspires you to create your best work, find flow and through introspection, learn how to create and re-create an environment to best enable you to do this.
• Remember to teach: investing in those around you is one of the most valuable things you can do. It takes patience and kindness, two things I work on every day.

You know around here we love a good “Dear…” title, especially when it starts with “Dear White Women.” That’s why we were excited to sit down with this week’s guests because Kimberlee’s book title alone had us at “Dear White Women” (for obvious reasons, friends).  Her full book title is “Dear White Women, Please Come Home: Hand Me Your Bias and I’ll Show You Our Connection” and once we started reading it, we couldn’t put it down, due to its unique format and powerful message.

And this week, we have not only Kimberlee Williams, who is the author of the book we’ll be talking about, but we also have Debby Irving, the author of Waking Up White, which was one of the first books Sara read when we started this podcast - and who is also Kimberlee’s forward writer and publisher.  Together, we unpack why the title (of course), reactions to this book, cross-racial friendships, and so much more. 

What to listen for: 

• What makes interracial friendships between women possible?
• Why Debby, as a White woman, offered her partnership and platform to help get Kimberlee’s message out to the world
• All about the unique structure of Kimberlee’s book

​​About the Author, Kimberlee Williams:

​​Hailing from the nation’s capital with huge hair, a million-watt smile, and contagious laughter, Kimberlee Yolanda Williams has had a heart for the perceived underdog for as long as she can remember. From her earliest years, Kimberlee’s experiences unfolded in communities filled with diversity of every kind, where gatherings around topics of equity and inclusion were explored with courageous authenticity. She grew up thinking engaging across differences was something everyone wanted to do and knew how to do. So why didn’t they do it?

As an educator, DEI administrator, consultant, workshop leader, speaker, and certified life and health coach, she has found herself in a variety of U.S. cities. With each new context she increasingly understood what held people back from crossing social divisions. Kimberlee found herself able to consciously place herself in the center of these divisions, in particular racial dynamics, and support people across the racial spectrum in stepping closer to one another.

Kimberlee is first and foremost a humanist, a deep believer in what is possible when humanity is centered. Her mix of authenticity and raw truth gives permission for those around her to choose progress over perfection and bring their full selves into the room. She is known for finding humor and challenge at just the right moments, and like the best of coaches, leaning in and pushing audiences just enough to believe in the potential she sees. Her approach of connection and compassion is what makes a consultation feel like a conversation with your best friend, a workshop feel like a workout with your favorite trainer, and a presentation feel like a present from your closest confidant. 

Kimberlee received a B.A. in Foreign Language Education from the University of Maryland (go Terps!) and an M.S. in Education from Dominican University. She currently lives in Seattle with her partner, where they refuel by being in community (with other folks of color), reading and reading some more, and relaxing near any body of water. In addition to all of the above, Kimberlee is a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, a niece, a dancer, an avid learner of languages (five to date), a free spirit, an empath, and now a writer.

Dear White Woman, Please Come Home is Kimberlee's attempt to share with readers what her clients, workshop attendees, and audience members have felt for years. She always brings her full self, her DC flare, her sass, and her humor. She’s the best friend you didn’t know you had.

About Debby Irving: 

Debby Irving brings to racial justice the perspective of working in non-profit organizations and education for 25 years before understanding racism as systemic or her own whiteness as an obstacle to grappling with it. Despite attending diversity workshops and even heading a diversity committee during these years, she struggled to make sense of racial dynamics she could feel but not explain. At the age of 48, a Wheelock College graduate school course titled Racial and Cultural Identities finally gave her the answers she’d been looking for, launching her on a journey of discovery. Debby now devotes herself to working with people exploring the impact whiteness can have on perception, problem solving, system design, culture shifting, creating racially diverse work teams and communities, and individual and collective human development. Her New York Times bestseller, Waking Up White, tells the story of how she went from well-meaning to well-doing. Her book, workshops, keynotes, community dialogs, TED Talk, online videos, blog, and frequent media commentary have become staples in the national discourse on the role of “good” white people in perpetuating racism. A graduate of the Winsor School in Boston, she holds a BA in History from Kenyon College and an MBA from Simmons College. For more on Debby, visit: https://www.debbyirving.com/about/ 

Our platform is called Dear White Women - and through it, we have this podcast, we have a book, we do talks - and a lot of our work, as biracial women, is to welcome more White women into the conversation.  As part of that work, we run into people saying that they’re tired of talking about race, worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, and are very concerned about cancel culture, which is why this next conversation is an incredibly important one for all of us to listen to.  

Dr. Dome is the author of the book, Let’s Talk About Race, and Other Hard things. And in it, she lays out a structure of Compassionate Dialogue, the idea to Recognize Interrupt Repair hurts and leans into the idea that every single one of us can use to talk more about not just race, but also all sorts of other hard things.  Given the divide we see in our country, the retrenching, the idea of staunch individualism trumping community, we need these tools.  Plus, in it, we learned how this structure is really a form of self-care, growth, and such a powerful way to approach so many things in our lives.  Listen in to learn more, as this conversation really builds on the one that we had with Andre Brown in last week’s episode.

What to listen for: 

• The details of the Recognize-Interrupt-Repair protocol - and how the repair is so critical for us to maintain relationships and community, and yet is often the one most overlooked
• How this protocol is good for our self-care overall
• The four communication styles (functional, intuitive, personal, analytical) - which one are you!?- and how knowing this can play a role in how you communicate better

About Dr. Dome: Renowned speaker, author, and equity consultant Dr. Nancy Dome co-founded Epoch Education in 2014 to provide leaders in education and business with accessible professional development in diversity, inclusion, belonging, and equity. As an educator for nearly three decades, Dr. Dome taught in the juvenile court and community schools teaching our most vulnerable students, and has served as a Distinguished Teacher in Residence and faculty member at California State University-San Marcos. Her transformative approach helps school districts and educational agencies throughout the country navigate complex topics, build bridges, and work together for inclusive, impactful change. For more information, visit www.epocheducation.com.

Sometimes we meet people completely new to the conversations about race and racism - and one of the things we say is important to do is to start with introspection.  Andre Brown stood out to us because of his very practical approach to DEI work - in particular, to help us address the question that we think is critical at the very beginning of starting to do this work, which is how to establish that personal baseline.  For example: how has race and racism shaped my life?  What are the things we can do to establish what lens we’re looking at the world through right now?  What do I know, what have I absorbed, and what are things that I might need to start unpacking and unraveling and unlearning and re-learning?  And also continuing to ask why in all of the spheres of influence that we all hold, and not taking “well, because it’s always been this way” as an acceptable answer.  

What to listen for: 

• Ways that each of us can establish a personal baseline to start from when choosing to be more anti-racist
• The importance of understanding how race and racism have shaped your actual community, state, and more
• That there is no room for shaming and blaming in these conversations; it’s a commitment to continuously question why things are the way they are, and how you can make change

About Andre:

André M. Brown is an African American male who has had a lifetime of personally experiencing individual, institutional and structural racism. He earned an MS degree in Human Development and Family Studies and is also an International Coaching Federation (ICF) certified coach who provides diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) focused coaching on the BetterUp coaching platform.     

He spent over two decades working multiple roles within the Rhode Island Department of Children, Youth, and Families (RIDCYF). Most recently André served as a Clinical Training Specialist where he trained new hires and veteran Social Caseworkers and Child Protective Investigators to effectively serve children and families opened to the department. In his role, He developed and facilitated several trainings including Cultural Competency in Child Welfare Through Self-Awareness I: The Impact of Implicit Bias and Understanding and Implementing Cultural Competence. In addition, André developed and coordinated a Child Protective Investigators’ team coaching program.     

In late 2019, he left DCYF and relocated to Miami, Florida. In 2020, He founded Racial Just Us, an agency whose primary mission is to provide DEI-focused coaching, consulting, training, and facilitation services. André developed the Coaching for Community Antiracism Series as a way to help participants create individualized antiracism action plans.

This episode’s topic was inspired by a webinar about banned books that featured Nikole Hannah-Jones, Nic Stone, and Dr. Ibram X. Kendi, in conversation with Dr. Emily Knox. IT. WAS. FIRE. But it also got us thinking about CRT, banned books, and the link between the two. 

So in today’s episode, we answer several questions: first, what is CRT and what is it not (hint: it’s not being taught in K-12 schools); second, where are we seeing the most restrictions around school curriculum, including banned books; and third, why banning books and being anti-history hurts ALL of us.  AND importantly, we’ll be discussing some practical ways you can help stem this harmful tide, so you’ll want to listen until the end.

What to listen for:  What IS critical race theory, actually?   How CRT been misused to discuss culturally relevant teaching We think anti-CRT should just be called anti-history  The (frightening) increase in book bans recently - even when polls are showing the majority of American voters and parents are opposed to book bans What you can do right now to get loud

April marks THREE YEARS since we started the Dear White Women podcast, so it’s only fitting that we run this back to talk about one of the issues that we get asked about (and challenged on) the most: affirmative action.  Maybe even hearing those words brings up emotions for you, as it does for us. 

But today we’re going to talk about all things affirmative action, including where it came from, who the biggest beneficiaries of it have been (and if you know a White woman in this country, you’ll want to listen) if we still need it, and what you’ll really need to know about the upcoming Supreme Court case this / next year.  

Bottom line: affirmative action actually affects all of us.  Listen in to hear why.

What to listen for: 

• How the term “affirmative action” came to be - originally about race
• When sex/gender was included in the plans, leading to White women were the biggest beneficiaries of affirmative action 
• How affirmative action turned into a zero-sum game by twisting it to position White people (women) as victims
• Reminders of the affirmative action program that supported White people first - the GI Bill
• The SCOTUS case coming up might undermine the benefits - given the composition of the court - of keeping policies in place that enforce diversity

Other episodes to listen to: 

Why White People should care

Why White Women should care

John Tateishi’s conversation about living in an internment camp

This episode follows the same thread that we started in last week’s episode: namely, how do we create inclusive workplaces, especially for women of color?  And this week’s guest knows all about that and more, especially when it’s related to women of color in STEM.

This week we get the pleasure of sitting down with Michele Heyward, who’s not only an engineer herself but the founder of PositiveHire (and we’ll let her tell you more about that), to talk about diverse women in STEM, her own podcast Dear Corner Office, why unconscious bias training often don’t work, if there’s really a “pipeline problem,” and so much more.  Get ready to take some notes (and add a new podcast to your list!).

What to listen for: 

• Understanding the mismatch between how so many White women think they’re being allies in the workplace, while so many women of color don’t think they have allies
• Why unconscious bias training doesn’t work, and what to do instead
• Deconstructing the “pipeline problem” - and why we have such a problem with that thinking

About Michele:

Michele Heyward is the founder and CEO of PositiveHire, a tech company engineered to bridge the gap between enterprises and underrepresented women in STEM professions. Michele is a civil engineer who is an experienced project manager in the energy sector armed with technical sales and technology transfer experience. 

Michele’s vision is to not only help black, Latina and indigenous women find inclusive workplaces, but to prepare enterprises to receive them, and help those enterprises recruit them. This approach makes PositiveHire the premiere recruiting platform for black, Latina, and indigenous women professionals.

Michele has a B.S. degree in civil engineering and an M.S. degree in industrial management, both from Clemson University. A South Carolina native, Michele enjoys spending time with her family, traveling, Toastmasters, and making connections personally and professionally. Michele has a passion for engaging with others on social media.

While some things have changed in the 18 years since Sara was in corporate America, a lot of things - namely, DEI work, how we talk about DEI, what words we use, and the urgency with which (White) people view this - have remained the same.  And while Misasha’s first official role in DE&I was in 2007, she’s spent a number of years living the reality of what it’s like to not be 100% White in legal America.  The conversations may have become more inclusive recently, but it seems like mindsets have not.

This episode is for all of you out there who’ve worked in a corporation, professional services firm, or anything that’s structured as a company, and want to know what you might be doing wrong, and what you definitely can be doing better to advance equity and make your workplace better.  Today, we’re speaking with journalist, founder, and speaker Ruchika Tulshyan, author of an incredibly practical book Inclusion on Purpose which felt fully in line with our informative, practical approach in our book Dear White Women: Let’s Get Uncomfortable Talking About Racism.  

What to listen for: 

• Why White women should care about helping women of color
• Specific things that people can do to use their privilege - in particular, practicing __- and active listening
• The “flip it to test it” methodology, to uncover and understand our own biases
• Thoughts on imposter syndrome

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ruchika Tulshyan is the founder of Candour, a global inclusion strategy firm. She is a regular contributor to The New York Times and Harvard Business Review. As a keynote speaker, Ruchika has addressed audiences at organizations like NASA, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and U.S. Congress. Ruchika is the author of “The Diversity Advantage: Fixing Gender Inequality in the Workplace,” and most recently, "Inclusion on Purpose: An Intersectional Approach to Creating a Culture of Belonging at Work" (MIT Press, March 2022.) Ruchika is on the Thinkers50 Radar list and named among Hive Learning's Most Influential D&I Professionals for the past two years. She is a former international business journalist who is now regularly quoted as a media expert in outlets like NPR, The New York Times and Bloomberg. Her interview on Brene Brown’s “Dare to Lead” podcast was among the most-played Spotify podcast episodes of 2021, and her article Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome is among HBR’s top 100 articles.

For those of you who grew up not seeing yourself in books, or for those of you who did, but want to understand what that may be like for others - this next episode is one you don’t want to miss.

Today, we’re so excited to speak with Abigail Hing Wen, the author of both the New York Times bestselling book Loveboat Taipei and her newest book, Loveboat Reunion, and hear all about her writing journey, why she writes YA books, more about the characters in Loveboat Reunion,  and why it’s so important to have more Asian voices and characters, or really, diverse characters doing very normal things, in the books that we read and those that we share with others.

What to listen for: 

• Abigail’s journey to writing - including when she and MIsasha intersected at law school! 
• How Abigail wants to move the needle on representation, and what representation even means
• The decision to write an Asian character with a learning difference - and the reaction from her audience about it
• Writing from experience vs writing from research, and the tenacity required to get a book of this quality out.  26 drafts!!!!!

About Abigail: 

"Abigail Hing Wen has a knack for trying and succeeding at new things." Forbes 2021

Abigail is a New York Times Best Selling Author, a rare woman-in-tech leader specializing in artificial intelligence, a new filmmaker as well as a wife and mother of two. She writes and speaks about tech, AI ethics, women's leadership, implicit bias, equity, and transforming culture.

Abigail penned the New York Times best-selling novel, Loveboat, Taipei (sequel, HarperCollins 2022). She is executive producing the book-to-film adaptation with ACE Entertainment, creators of the Netflix franchise, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. She and her work have been profiled in Entertainment Weekly, Forbes, Fortune, Cosmopolitan, NBCNews, Bloomberg, Google Talk, and the World Journal, among others.

Abigail holds a BA from Harvard, where she took coursework in film, ethnic studies, and government. She also holds a JD from Columbia and MFA in writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts. In her career in tech, she has negotiated multibillion-dollar deals on Wall Street and in Silicon Valley, worked in venture capital, and hosted Intel’s Artificial Intelligence podcast featuring leading industry experts including Andrew Ng, Facebook's Chief AI Scientist Yann LeCun, and US Congresswoman Robin Kelly. She also serves with the Partnership on AI. “One of the most respected voices in fairness and AI.” Forbes.

Abigail lives with her husband and two sons in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her third novel (2023) explores cognitive differences in Silicon Valley and she is writing her fourth novel and a feature film script based in Silicon Valley, as well as producing a girls-in-tech animated series. 

For more information: www.abigailhingwen.com 

Follow IG/Twi: @abigailhingwen

Today is International Women’s Day, which is 8 days into Women’s History Month.  So it’s no surprise that we are here with Sybil Amuti, the founder of The Great Girlfriends platform, to talk about friendships, community, and so much more, especially as it relates to women.

This conversation was also a great reminder of two things: (1) we have women in our lives 365 days out of the year, not just 31; and (2) it’s important to include ALL women when we talk about women, as sometimes (and you might have caught this from the title of our show) that definition of women seems to include only White women.  So let’s jump in.

What to listen for: 

• The need for there to be groups that support women of color - like Great Girlfriends!
• How to process the impact that the pandemic has had on relationships, and how we can all begin rebuilding friendships as we navigate through a rebuild
• What White women should think about as they develop cross-racial friendships
• Trends Sybil has seen in corporations and their commitments (or not) to DEI

About Sybil:

Sybil Clark Amuti is an executive brand strategist, podcast producer, host, philanthropist, wife, and mother. She holds a B.S. in urban studies from Dillard University and an M.S.in urban planning from Columbia University. For over 15 years, Sybil has delivered world-class strategy and brand direction to some of the world’s most renown personal, corporate, and philanthropic brands, such as Scholastic, Nike, Sony Entertainment, Target, Nascar, Conde Nast, Tony Robbins, Feeding America, Red Table Talk and more. Her company, Legacy Row, is focused on legacy brand building and creating an alliance of like missioned brands who seek to create an impact on a local to a global level.

Sybil also serves as the creator and co-host of The Great Girlfriends Show, a podcast conversation series created to connect women with daily tips and solutions for living a passionate everyday life and building a thriving business. Under her direction, The Great Girlfriends has served over 700,00 women with content and experiences that support their growth journey. She is also the creator and executive producer of The Grace Podcast, which is dedicated to providing practical spiritual development for Christian women.

As a philanthropist, Sybil is passionate about youth mentorship, eradicating hunger, and educational equality for girls around the world. She extends financial support, personal time, and attention to Covenant House and Feeding America.

Sybil is a wife of 15yrs and a mother to 13-year-old old Sam and 10-year-old old Dylan. She resides in California.

For more on Sybil: 

https://sybilamuti.com/about-sybil/

About Great Girlfriends: 

https://thegreatgirlfriends.com

Community.  Gentrification.  Generational wealth.  Low status.  Brain drain.  When you read those terms, what comes to mind for you?  If you know what those words mean, have you thought about how they play out in your own neighborhoods?  Because even if you haven’t seen these dynamics at play yourself, they are definitely happening where you live.  And we’re going to tell you why that matters - not only to you but to the future of your neighborhoods and communities, regardless of whether you’re in a big city or a small town.

Today we are so fortunate to be able to sit down with Majora Carter and discuss her new book, Reclaiming Your Community.  She not only talks to us about all of those terms we mentioned but also about the non-profit industrial complex - which, if you’ve ever supported or are part of a non-profit, you want to understand - and poverty level economic maintenance, which may be one of those things you saw but didn’t understand until it’s pointed out to you.  So get ready to think more broadly about the communities you know in ways that you never expected.

What to listen for:

• The role that “well-meaning” non-profits play in low-status (to be differentiated from low-income!) communities
• Understanding poverty-level economic maintenance - you know it when you see it
• Envisioning a world where reinvestment in the community can lead to talent-retention in low-status communities - a powerful alternative to gentrification 
• Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

About the author:  MAJORA CARTER is a real estate developer, urban revitalization strategy consultant, MacArthur Fellow, and Peabody Award-winning broadcaster. She is responsible for the creation and successful implementation of numerous economic developments, technology & green infrastructure projects, policies, and job training & placement systems. Carter applies her corporate consulting practice focused on talent-retention to reduce Brain Drain in American low-status communities. She has firsthand experience pioneering sustainable economic development in one of America's most storied low-status communities: the South Bronx. Majora is quoted on the walls of the Smithsonian Museum of African-American History and Culture in DC: "Nobody should have to move out of their neighborhood to live in a better one”. She has served on the boards of the US Green Building Council, Ceres, The Wilderness Society, and the Andrew Goodman Foundation. Carter has helped connect tech industry pioneers such as Etsy, Gust, FreshDirect, Google, and Cisco to diverse communities at all levels.

Website: http://www.majoracartergroup.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/majora-carter-8649529/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/majoracarter/?hl=en

Twitter: https://twitter.com/majoracarter

If you’re listening to this episode at the time of release, we’re three days past a momentous anniversary in United States history - and one that you may have never heard of.  On February 19th, 1942, 80 years ago, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066 into law.  This was the law that effectively incarcerated over 120,000 American citizens on US soil during World War II. Their offense?  Being ethnically Japanese.  

Think about your own ethnic heritage.  Where were your ancestors from, before they came to America?  Then imagine, that country does something against America, and your government rounds you up, strips you of most of your possessions, and throws you into an incarceration camp for years.  Some kids who grew up there didn’t even realize they were still on US soil, wondering, when can we go back to America?

And that’s the title of the book, When Can We Go Back to America? written by Susan Kamei whom we are speaking with today.  In it, she pulled together history, and strikingly, many, many first-person narratives that illuminate this horrific period in American history - one period that isn’t taught or, if it’s taught, taught well in our country.  But it’s a storyline that we need to be well aware of if we don’t want our country to repeat these atrocities again.  Because we’ve come close.  And we may be close yet again.

What to listen for: 

• What Executive Order 9066 did, led to the forced removal of persons of Japanese ancestry from the West Coast and detained them in internment camps for the duration of World War II.
• Susan’s experience as a sansei - third-generation Japanese American - and how incarceration impacted her family
• How Susan used personal narrative and history to tell this story that had not been woven together in such detail before
• Why we all need to be talking about this part of our country’s history and the importance and power of standing up together against injustice

If you want to hear more about life in and after the internment camps, listen to Episode 138 of Dear White Women: Who Do We Call Americans? With John Tateishi by clicking here

If you want to read more Asian American narratives with your children:

• Baseball Saved Us
• Eyes that Kiss in the Corners
• I Am An American

ABOUT THE BOOK:

On February 19, 1942, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, which put in motion the forced removal of persons of Japanese ancestry from the West Coast and their detention in desolate interior locations for the duration of World War II. Approximately 120,000 men, women, and children were detained in hastily constructed government facilities rimmed with barbed wire and armed guards. Two-thirds of those incarcerated were American-born citizens. The US government justified wresting the Japanese Americans from their homes, educations, and livelihoods under extreme duress and imprisoning them as a “military necessity.” From the elderly to babies, all those with even “a drop of Japanese blood” were presumed to be disloyal and potential saboteurs, simply because they shared the race of a wartime enemy.

Through first-person accounts of individuals who lived through this harrowing time as young people, When Can We Go Back to America? delves into the real reasons for the incarceration and reveals the falseness of the “military necessity” narrative that has been perpetuated in the decades since World War II. Their stories tell of the profound consequences that the incarceration had on their lives and of the long-term social, economic, and psychological harm they have suffered as a result of the government’s unconstitutional actions. Yet their voices and biographies also share moving accounts of their resilience, bravery, and enduring belief in democratic principles. They speak to us over the passage of time to provide perspective on issues of racial identity, immigration, and the meaning of citizenship today

ABOUT SUSAN:

SUSAN H. KAMEI is the granddaughter of Japanese immigrants. Her maternal grandparents were part of the Japanese classical music community in Los Angeles’ Little Tokyo, and her paternal grandparents were vegetable farmers in Orange County.

During World War II, her mother and her parents were incarcerated at the Santa Anita Assembly Center in Arcadia, California, and at the War Relocation Authority camp in Heart Mountain, Wyoming. Her father, together with his grandparents, parents, and siblings, were detained at the WRA camp known as Poston II in Arizona.

Susan graduated from the University of California, Irvine with B.A. degrees in Russian and Linguistics, summa cum laude, and received her J.D. from the Georgetown University Law Center, where she was an editor of the Georgetown law journal Law and Policy in International Business. 

From the time she was in law school in Washington, DC and while she practiced corporate law, Susan was a member of the legislative strategy team for the Japanese American Citizens League (JACL) in the successful passage of federal legislation that provided redress to Japanese Americans for their wartime incarceration. She has been recognized for her service in the redress campaign, which included volunteering as National Deputy Legal Counsel for the JACL Legislative Education Committee.

She now teaches undergraduate students at the University of Southern California (USC) in the Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences about the constitutional, historical, and political issues of Japanese American incarceration and the importance of those issues today. She also serves as the managing director of the USC Spatial Sciences Institute.

For her contributions to the USC community and for enriching the educations of students of color and LGBTQ students, she received the 2018 USC Undergraduate Student Government Community Achievement Award. She also was recognized for her leadership and service in business, academia, and the community with the “Woman of Courage” Award in 2000 from the Friends of the Los Angeles City Commission on the Status of Women.

There are those moments when you watch something, or learn something, that changes how you see not only yourself, but our history, along with the future, completely differently.  That’s how we felt about Who We Are, a new documentary featuring Jeffrey Robinson, produced by Robinson and our two guests: Emily and Sarah Kunstler.  I feel fortunate to have first met both of these amazing women when Sarah and I were in law school together and have only this to say about the film: everyone should see it.  Everyone.

In this episode, we talk to Emily and Sarah about the impetus for this amazing documentary, why this conversation is so important, and additionally why it’s imperative that EVERYONE understand our country's foundational struggles, as we move forward collectively.  This isn’t just a film about Black history.  This is a film about our American history.  We can’t wait for you to hear more in their own words.

What to listen for: 

• The inspiration for Who We Are, stemming from Jeffrey Robinson’s long-standing presentation - and what it was like for two White women to partner with a Black man to share his story and work
• Thoughts on cancel culture as it stands in society today
• How you can watch this eye-opening, accessible introduction to the true history of the United States

About our guests:     

Emily Kunstler (Producer/Director/Editor) and Sarah Kunstler (Producer/Director) are the founders of Off Center Media, a documentary production company dedicated to racial justice and social change. Their film, William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe (Sundance '09, POV/PBS), was shortlisted for the Best Documentary Academy Award. The film is an examination of their father’s life and choices, tracing his career as a civil rights lawyer and fighter for racial justice, as well his representation of society’s most despised. Other Off Center Media films have contributed to campaigns to stay executions, convince decision makers to reopen cases, and exonerate the wrongfully convicted. For more on their work, please visit center.com">www.off-center.com.

At the time that A Kids Book About Racism was published, there was no other book like this.  There was no other book written FOR kids talking directly about racism, let alone a book that was written by someone who looked like Misasha’s mixed-race kids.  She still has that copy; they’ve read it as a family countless times, and the kids have read it themselves a ton since then.  Since then, she’s added about ten more A Kids Book About books to her family library. 

Today we have the true honor of talking with Jelani Memory, the founder of A Kids Co, who sits down with us to talk about something that’s close to our hearts: talking to our kids.  

How do we talk to them?  What do we talk to them about?  And what do kids REALLY want to talk about?  

We dive into these questions, and so many more, on this episode, which is a must-listen for parents - or really, anyone who has an interest in how this generation of kids are going to show up in the world as adults.

What to listen for: 

• What prompted the move from a single A Kids Book About Racism to an entire company, A Kids Co, which aims to empower your kids to be their best selves 
• How the publishing industry received this brand new, intentional, diverse book publishing model
• Jelani’s tips for how parents can have uncomfortable conversations with their children about race, and more
• The positive impact open conversations have - and the effect shutting them down can have - on the long-term parent-child relationship 

About Jelani:

Jelani Memory is a constantly curious writer, entrepreneur, and storyteller. He lives in his hometown of Portland, OR, with his wife and six kids. 

Related Links: 

A Kids Co – buy one or an entire series of books for your kids and you to open up conversation!

You Are Not Alone – the new children’s book from the Alphabet Rockers 

Middle age.  What comes to mind?  Next question:  When you think of a woman who’s aged somewhere between her early 40s and mid 60s, who do you picture?  And if you’re not one of then, when you’re thinking about women in this age range, how do they show up in your daily life?  Do they show up?  And, what race is the woman you pictured?  

Depending on your answers, and your own stage of life, you’ll process the conversation with our next guest in different ways; something personal to you, or something that you might need to open your eyes to, especially if you’re in any sort of people-facing business.  No matter what, it’s a conversation that we should all be having more frequently.  For us, our big takeaway was that there is more than just the maiden-mother-sage concept to the trajectory of womanhood: there is also the queen phase.  That’s midlife.  And that’s what Valerie Albarda talks with us about, to make sure midlife women are not made to feel invisible - with the extra layer of what it’s like to be a midlife woman of color.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The definition of midlife
• What is the invisibility trifecta, and why is it important for society to be aware of it?
• What are the things we can all do to open our eyes to the value that midlife women - in particular midlife women of color - can bring to the table?

About Valerie: In 2015, Valerie Albarda decided to take off her blinders and go through life with her midlife eyes wide open by embracing this dynamic and opportunistic time in her life. That same year, she created the website, Midlife-A-Go-Go, to help women navigate this pivotal time in their lives and to understand that they can enjoy the midlife and skip the crisis. In 2018, she added “Midlife-A-Go-Go the podcast!” to her roster. Her podcast meets women where they live – in the second spring of life – and has candid conversations on the ups, the downs and the “everything in between” of midlife.

Valerie is a recent TEDx speaker with her Talk, “The Invisibility Trifecta: Coming Out of the Shadows.” In her Talk, she focuses on one of society’s forgotten demographic: midlife women of color. She takes the idea of the ‘invisible woman syndrome’ one step further and sets out to disrupt the mindset that midlife women of color are disposable.

Valerie is a writer, author, podcaster, and speaker. Her writings have appeared across the web, including on HuffPost, Find UR Cool, Kindra and Midlife Boulevard.

Buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and leave us a review on Amazon!

Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong somewhere simply because of one or more of your identities? Being biracial, we’ve felt that way in various settings - sometimes all White crowds, sometimes Asian affinity groups.  And sometimes in rooms full of men… anyway, you get the picture.  And what we can say is that growing up that way leads to a lot of introspection, learning to tune into our own intuition to listen to the messages it’s trying to tell us, and working to stop prioritizing our brains - which, if we’re honest, can justify and try to explain away a lot and make us feel like we’re not “enough” and need to keep going - and listen our body’s messages instead.  It’s something we are still working on.  I don’t know if we can say it enough - we think the inner work of self awareness is the foundation of being able to do the outer work of tackling racism.  And it’s work that people of all races can be part of.

That’s why we’re so grateful that Kim Thai of Ganesh Space was willing to take the time to speak with us today about her experiences as a queer Asian woman, a person who brings mindfulness to her spaces in order to help dismantle internalized oppression.  

Warning that today’s episode does drop a few explicit words in it, so mind those ears. 

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The power of influence that parents can have, and how Kim was led to meditation and mindfulness - and ultimately, the creation of Ganesh Space
• What is internalized oppression?
• Looking at the small things, like when we say “I’m sorry” as a way to make change
• The importance of having separate spaces for marginalized community members to heal, and how many people who point out the segregation tend to be in the dominant culture
• How to think about self-care, joy, and mindfulness to incorporate more of them in our daily lives

About Kim Thai:  Kim Thai is an Emmy-award winning producer, writer, activist, and mindfulness teacher.

She is the founder of GaneshSpace, a community organization dedicated to creating spaces to dismantle internalized oppression and explore identity through the lens of intersectionality. She also served as the Assistant Director of Heights Meditation, a non-profit offering free meditation to Upper Manhattan in NYC and is currently and advisor at YAP Media, an upcoming podcast production company. 

She has produced video series for TED, MTV, Discovery, TLC and Animal Planet; and written for FORTUNE, Newsweek, USA Today and the Associated Press, among others. (More of her professional history here.) And is currently creating issue-based campaigns for SEIU, the world’s second largest labor union in the world.

She believes fiercely in the power of storytelling, understanding your body and being unapologetically yourself. She also loves to take a #yolopilgrimmage (™) as often as possible.

Born and raised in Houston, Texas (like Beyoncé), she is the proud daughter of two Vietnamese War refugees and has 5 nephews, all of whom she loves equally. She moved to NYC more than a decade ago to attend J-School at Columbia University, after applying 48 hours before the deadline. She currently lives in Washington Heights with her partner and two cat-sons, Watson and Charlie, who have a larger Instagram following than her. Follow Ganesh Space on Instagram here!

Buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and leave us a review on Amazon!

Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

We had a different episode planned for this week, but in light of the fight that is going down in the Senate right now, we needed to re-release this episode on the filibuster, with a special introduction as to why we should all care about the Freedom to Vote Act and The John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act, and encourage you to call your Senators to act on the filibuster.*

* If you’re part of the Trump-backed forces of authoritarianism, you probably don’t care. But if you truly want America to be a democracy in its current state (and if you love parts of the Constitution, you should probably be all about this too) - you should be really loudly vocally supporting both bills.

The problem with bills like these though is that, much like a theory like CRT, people make judgments about what they THINK are in those bills rather than actually sitting down and reading them. And, as a great email from Heather Cox Richardson pointed out, “It’s worth reading what’s actually in the bills because, to my mind, it is bananas that they are in any way controversial.” We break this down, and then tell you all about the filibuster, so that you’re empowered to use your voice to protect democracy.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• A brief history of voter suppression and the role of the filibuster in legislative action
• An explanation of what the filibuster is and how it has been employed and changed
• What the filibuster has been used for (to block progressive legislation)
• How we can and should address the future of the filibuster
• A reminder to call the US Capitol Switchboard a 202-224-3121 to call your Senator and tell them you want the voting rights protection bills to pass

Buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and leave us a review on Amazon!

Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

If you’ve been on LinkedIn recently, it’s likely that someone you know has liked something that our next guest has written - because her posts are just THAT GOOD. But it wasn’t just her LinkedIn activism that made us want to sit down with her today - it was some impactful articles that she wrote, including one for Cosmopolitan in 2019 and one for the Harvard Business Review in 2021, that made us excited to talk about something that we haven’t really touched on, on the podcast to date: colorism.

If you’re sitting there asking yourself, what is colorism, or what does that have to do with race, systemic racism, and how we look at people - then marketing and advertising, as we’ve known it to always exist in the United States, has largely been doing its job. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right job - in fact, today, we’re going to talk all about why it’s so important to understand colorism as a fundamental piece of our systems that affect us all (like racism), and also the very personal impact that it can have on people. We’re here to learn in 2022, and to keep asking those questions that make us think deeper and challenge what we’ve always been told.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• What is colorism?
• How colorism has impacted Mita personally, as she shares in her piece in Cosmopolitan
• The clear ways that the marketing industry still has a problem, as she writes in Harvard Business Review 
• Other industries that need to be aware of the impact of our bias towards lighter skin

About Mita: Mita Mallick is a corporate change-maker with a track record of transforming businesses.  She gives innovative ideas a voice and serves customers and communities with purpose.  She is currently the Head of Inclusion, Equity and Impact at Carta. She was formerly the Head of Inclusion and Cross Cultural Marketing at Unilever.  She has had an extensive career as a marketer in the beauty and consumer product goods space.  Mallick is a LinkedIn Top Voice, a contributor for Entrepreneur and Harvard Business Review, and her writing has been published in Adweek, Fast Company and Business Insider.

She is also the cohost of the recently launched The Brown Table Talk Podcast, where she and Dee Marshall share stories and tips on how to help Women of Color win at work, and advice for allies on how they can show up.

Buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and leave us a review on Amazon!

Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu! Or, in English, Happy New Year!  

We kick off this first episode of 2022 by reintroducing ourselves, so you know who we are and where we’re coming from as you listen to all the episodes to come (because you’re following our show on your favorite podcast app, right?). But we also did that so we can begin engaging a skill that is urgent to focus on this year - namely, critical thinking.  

In today’s episode, we dive into the booming economic statistics from the US and how that stands in stark contrast to the majority of Americans who disapprove of the state of the economy, and how our news sources may be playing an outsized role in our perception of reality. There are psychological trends we want to steel ourselves against, because this applies to the Big Lie, or the January 6th insurrection, or COVID vaccines, or racism, or basically any topic that you’ve read about or heard about or discussed that’s been in the news lately. 

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• How to say Happy New Year in Japanese! Plus, Sara & Misasha’s personal backgrounds
• Factual statistics about the out-performance of the US economy in 2021, in stark contrast to polling data showing American disappointment with the economy
• What psychological forces are at play when we take in negative news, what we can know and do to keep ourselves from falling into common traps, and why we think critical thinking is the biggest tool we need to sharpen in 2022

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Well, we made it to the end of 2021. As we think back on this year, we’re sharing not only a little bit about the podcast and Dear White Women platform (along with our favorite episodes and guests), but also looking back at some key events of 2021, and what we did for self-care and community. Our hope for you is to listen, reflect, and think about what you’re going to do to make change going into 2022.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• Dear White Women achievements from the year, including our most memorable episodes and conversations
• What the world went through in 2021 that leads us to say we’re at a major turning point of our country’s democracy
• What we can each commit to doing in 2022

Buy our book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and leave us a review on Amazon!

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We’re finally done with 2021… but if 2020-2021 taught us anything, it’s that this period of time we are living through will be examined in the history books. Our grandkids will be asking us what life was like during the global pandemic, where we were during the January 6 insurrection, and what we did to stand up against the racial and social injustices that were made so painfully clear during this time. 

So, as we re-cast this first episode of the year with you as a recap, consider what YOU did this year to make change - and what side of history you ended up finding yourself on. Then, think about how you want to show up in 2022!

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• Anger - how white anger is viewed differently than anger expressed by people of color, and where white anger can be expressed without repercussion (hint: it’s pretty much everywhere)
• The power of White women and some reasons why concepts that many believe should be central to all women are not supported by a large portion of this voting bloc
• Conspiracy theories - what makes people vulnerable to them, and what to do about them
• Empathy - how and why White liberals sought legal equality in the Civil Rights Era without believing Black people to be their equals, and what true empathy might look like

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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One thing that we’ve found to be true, from discussions around the book, to how to have uncomfortable conversations around the dinner or holiday tables, to sharing the stories that we are so lucky to be able to get to do on this podcast - it all comes back to how this work, the hard work of inclusion, anti-racism, and how to make lasting change, has to start first  from within. We have to see each other as humans first, and find those commonalities so that we can then address our differences. Cancel culture isn’t working out. We need bridges in order to be able to see that new world.

This skill of looking within - it’s something that we talk about so much with our kids and their learning but something that we, as adults, largely brush to the side as one of those nebulous “nice to haves”. But that’s where we go wrong. We need empathy now more than ever, and today’s guest, Syah, is here to show us how to approach conversations - and indeed, all the spheres of influence that we each hold - with that empathy that we need to make intentional, lasting change. There were light bulb moments for both of us throughout this podcast, and we’d love to hear if any came up for you all as well.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The power of empathy, and the role it plays in anti-racism work
• What resistance Syah sees in talking about empathy in the workplace
• Specific exercises we can do to boost our empathy skills - these were BRILLIANT

About Syah:

Syah is a creative strategist, able to design and facilitate transformative experiences that expand one’s awareness of themselves, other cultures, and oppressive systems. Their goal is to shift our standards for workplace culture to be more sustainable and empowering for marginalized communities.  A seasoned social justice educator, Syah is able to use their counseling psychology background to unveil hard truths in intentional ways that can be received, processed, and acted upon. Syah also serves as a proud board member of two LGBTQ+ led nonprofit organizations. Joy as Resistance which is dedicated to promoting the hope and joy of LGBTQIA2+ youth through comprehensive mental health and wellness services. And Envision: You who Supports LGBTQ+ folks struggling with mental and behavioral health challenges.

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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One of the questions that often has come up around our recent publication of our book (leave us a review on Amazon!) is what it was like to write the book during the end of 2020. And one of the things that always sticks out to us is that the problems, the racism, the treatment of non White people in this country that we wrote about in great detail throughout the book, didn’t get fixed in 2020, or 2021. In fact, every single chapter that we wrote in the second and third sections of the book has reoccurred numerous times over since we wrote the book. We’re not in some post racial world here. We didn’t fix racism because people suddenly realized that it was still happening sometime in the summer of 2020.

And our next guest knows that all too well. Tamara Winfrey-Harris wrote The Sisters Are Alright in 2015, and just released a second edition to this book this year. Not because racism is over, or we figured out intersectional feminism, or that we’re even all on the same page - not at all. The second edition includes so much more information about the stereotypes and experiences of Black women in America, what we need to know when it comes to intersectional feminism, interracial friendships, and simply co-existing with and respecting everyone. In the end, the sisters are alright. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have a ton of work to do - so start by listening in and reflecting on your own perceptions, experiences, and things YOU can do differently.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The four stereotypes of Black women, and how they play out in our society today (and take a moment to reflect - do you see any of these yourself?)
• Tamara’s thoughts on if White women can be allies (spoiler alert: YES!), and what allyship really means
• Ways to combat our tendency to lump people into stereotypes, and instead, challenge ourselves to see people’s intersectionalities and identities - their humanity

About Tamara Winfrey-Harris

Tamara Winfrey-Harris is a writer who specializes in race and gender and their intersection with politics, popular culture, and current events. She is the author of Dear Black Girl: Letters from Your Sisters on Stepping into Your Power, and she has been called to share her analyses in media outlets such as NPR's Weekend Edition and Janet Mock's So POPular! on MSNBC.com. Her work has also appeared in countless outlets such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, Los Angeles Times, Bitch Magazine, Ms. and other media.  Winfrey-Harris is Vice President of Community Leadership and Effective Philanthropy at the Central Indiana Community Foundation, and she speaks at university campuses nationwide. She has dedicated her life's work to advocating for Black women and girls and defying destructive social narratives that limit their potential. She is co-founder of Centering Sisters, LLC, which unapologetically addresses the needs and issues of Black women, girls, and femmes. Learn more at TamaraWinfreyHarris.com.

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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Our next guest is not only the author of a book we both can’t wait to read - Decolonizing Wellness - but also talks specifically to those individuals who are at the intersection of BIPOC and LGBTQ identities. When you think about bodies, beauty, and self-care, that’s often a group that gets lost, not only in popular consciousness but also in media portrayals of what is considered desirable or attractive. And, when you’re struggling to be seen, or fit in, or even survive - this can be devastating.

This was yet again one of those conversations that we didn’t want to end, and each of us walked away with different ways to think about not only our own bodies, but what we put in them, how we interact with those around us with regard to wellness - especially kids, and ways in which we can better support and understand the struggle of marginalized individuals when it comes to preconceived notions of health and beauty.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• How cisgender, heteronomative, Eurocentric standards of beauty that we see in mass media add to the body image concerns of queer people
• Additional challenges to body positivity when it comes to people who are both BIPOC and LGBTQ+
• Knowing and listening to our own bodies better, including what we put into them
• Kids, nutrition, and diet culture

About Dalia:

Dalia Kinsey is a Registered Dietitian and Inclusive Wellness coach with over 10 years of experience working at the intersection of holistic wellness and social justice in public and private sectors. Dalia rejects diet culture and teaches people to use nutrition as a self-care and personal empowerment tool to counter the damage of systemic oppression. On a mission to spread joy, reduce suffering, and eliminate health disparities in the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC community, Dalia leverages years of experience creating safer spaces for clients to help teams build communication skills that create a solid foundation for inclusion and belonging. Host of the Body Liberation for All podcast and author of Decolonizing Wellness: How to Escape the Diet Trap, Heal Your Self-Image, and Achieve Body Liberation; A QTBIPOC-Centered Guide to Self-Love, Dalia continually creates wellness tools and resources that center the most vulnerable, individuals that hold multiple marginalized identities. Dalia’s work can be found at https://www.daliakinsey.com/

Connect with Dalia:

Instagram 

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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We’ve been asked a lot about how to have uncomfortable conversations lately - namely, the reality that, yikes, my people are coming over for the holidays and how on earth do I handle it when those uncomfortable, racist, inappropriate comments and jokes come up? (Because let’s be real - they’re coming up.)

While there is no official checklist for success, we DO have quite a number of tips to help guide you and your group into more meaningful, engaging conversations around your holiday table.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• Tips for before, during, and after your holiday gatherings
• A selection of these tips include:
  • knowing yourself and your why,
  • setting healthy boundaries,
  • using our favorite question “what do you mean by that?”
  • using “I statements,”
  • questions you can use to reflect on what worked/didn’t work after the event.
• You’ll want to listen to the short episode to get the whole range of how to use these tips and more!

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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When we sat down to talk with our next two guests, we were already big fans. They had presented as part of the Embodied Social Justice certificate course that we had taken together this summer, and their theme was clear: how we end racism. In one generation.  

So, if your immediate reaction is one of incredulity, then maybe you need to hear this episode more than you think. Because their method is not one of hammering hard facts into people’s heads - it’s an approach based primarily on love, compassion, and our shared humanity. We talk in-depth about the conversations that can bring seemingly opposite people together, even when issues of politics and race would normally divide them. (And - if you’re looking for more tips on how to HAVE those uncomfortable conversations that may be happening in the next couple of weeks around your own holiday tables, we’ve got those details in depth next week!). At the end of our chat, we realized that this was the conversation we all, collectively, need to have, if we’re really serious about moving the needle when it comes to racism.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The importance of processing a timeline for ending racism - running TO a goal, instead of running AWAY from a goal
• How self-care plays into dismantling racism
• What happens when people focus on the humanity in each other versus constructs such as political or racial divides
• A specific method - if only for today - that focuses on the intentions we can all bring to our daily lives to begin the process of ending racism

ABOUT JUSTIN:                    

From growing up with gunshot holes outside of his bedroom window, to sharing the stage with Deepak Chopra, Justin Michael Williams knows the power of healing to overcome. He is an author, top 20 recording artist, and transformational speaker who is using music and meditation to wake up the world.

When he was younger, Justin always wanted to be a singer, but a lifetime of being bullied, teased, and abused, made him give up his dream. Then after a seminal moment with his dying grandmother, Justin woke up—and his debut album premiered in the top 20 of the iTunes charts next to Britney Spears and Taylor Swift. He has since been featured by Billboard, Grammy.com, SXSW®, and shared on stages alongside some of the most compelling leaders of our time, including Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, and Chaka Khan.                   

With over a decade of teaching experience, Justin has become a pioneering voice of color for the new healing movement—between his podcast, keynotes, and motivational online platforms, Justin’s teachings have now spread to more than 40 countries around the globe.           

Justin is dedicated to using his voice to serve. To being a beacon of hope for those who are lost, and to making sure all people, of all backgrounds, have access to the information they need to change their lives.       

“When people wake up to their own brilliance—it’s like magic," says Williams. 'If my work and art can inspire people to do that, then I’ve fulfilled my mission.”

His first book, Stay Woke: A Meditation Guide for the Rest of Us, was released nationwide February 11, 2020.

ABOUT SHELLY: 

Shelly Tygielski is the author of the book, Sit Down to Rise Up: How Radical Self- Care Can Change the World, which launched on October 26, 2021 from New World Library. She is also the founder of Pandemic of Love, a global, grass-roots, volunteer-led mutual aid community that has directly matched over 1.7 million people since the beginning of the COVID- 19 pandemic, accounting for over $57 million in direct transactions. Her work has been featured in over 100 media outlets including CNN Heroes of 2020, Forbes, Upworthy, The Kelly Clarkson Show, CBS This Morning, the New York Times and Washington Post.               

Shelly has been hailed by individuals from President Joe Biden to Arianna Huffington, and Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn to Maria Shriver. Shelly is a trauma-informed mindfulness teacher named one of the “12 Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement” by Mindful Magazine in 2019. She teaches formalized self-care and resilience practices at organizations around the world, and is widely regarded as a self-care activist. She is happily married to her husband, Jason, and is an adoring mother to her son, Liam. As part of her own self-care, Shelly makes time for skateboarding, playing guitar and making craft cocktails. Since mid-2020, Shelly and Jason have been relocating every few months, exploring and adapting to a modern nomadic lifestyle.

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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We first heard about our guest today when we were all participating in the Edelweiss Book Fest as Editors’ Picks and couldn’t get her, or her book, out of our heads. While “abolition” has been a word largely associated with slavery, it has taken on a new meaning when it comes to the police in America. Yes, we know - this word is scary. Police reform can seem daunting. But Derecka Purnell not only understands that, but she has a framework for how we need to be thinking about this process, and what new structures can be built in its place.

Listen in to hear more about becoming abolitionists, the lack of history of White resistance, Derecka’s own personal thought journey, and so much more. We really enjoyed this conversation - and learned so much - and hope you do too.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• How Derecka’s views of the role of the police changed from her childhood to her organizer days
• Why police reform is something that affects all of us, not just BIPOC individuals
• Why the history of White resistance is missing in our history books, and what that means for abolishing the police or other similar movements

About Derecka: DERECKA PURNELL received her JD from Harvard Law School and works to end police and prison violence by providing legal assistance, research, and training to community-based organizations through an abolitionist framework. Her work and writing has been featured in the New York Times, NPR, The Atlantic, the Boston Globe, Harper's Bazaar, Cosmopolitan, The Appeal, Truthout, Slate, and many other publications. She is the co-creator of the COVID19 Policing Project at the Community Resource Hub for Safety Accountability.

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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If you’re listening to this episode on the day it’s released, this is Election Day in the United States. So, if you haven’t gone to vote yet, and you’re not in a mail-in ballot state, go do that and come back and listen - or, if you’re not sure if you’re going to vote, you may want to listen right now and make time to get out and cast your ballot.

Because this Election Day is really important, especially if you’re in states like Virginia. 

 Why? Well, according to Heather Cox Richardson: “We are in an existential fight to defend our democracy from those who would destroy it. People seem to hark back to films from the 1930s and 1940s and think that so long as we don’t have tanks in our streets, our government is secure. But in this era, democracies die more often through the ballot box than at gunpoint.”

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• Why voting at this particular juncture in history is actually part of an existential fight to preserve our democracy - and we’re not exaggerating
• The real-life revelations about people who tried to overturn the election - and who barely failed; still, the 33 new election laws we’ve seen passed in 19 states will not fail.
• Resources you want to have, like the Hotline to the Election Protection network:  https://866ourvote.org/ or 866-OUR-VOTE, if you see something or have a question.

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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When we first thought about talking to our guest John Tateishi today, we thought about diving into the reparations process that he helped lead for Japanese survivors of the internment camps on American soil - especially as a great follow-up to our conversation with cameron whitten about reparations for slavery. Being biracial Japanese/White women, growing up in the United States meant that the history of internment camps, reparations, and the treatment of Japanese Americans as the “other” were things that we didn’t necessarily learn about in school, but knew through our communities. We thought we couldn’t speak to a better person about this than someone who had been deeply and critically involved in the Japanese American reparations process from the start.

What we didn’t expect, however, was the personal history lesson that we got - from what it was like in Manzanar, to coming back to postwar Los Angeles, to what it means to be an American. You won’t want to miss this conversation - in fact, we had to cut it short when we wanted to talk to John for several more hours. Get ready to learn everything you didn’t learn in school today.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• John’s personal experience as a young person incarcerated at Manzanar - and what it was like returning to society
• The makeup of Los Angeles in the post-war period - and how different communities banded together
• What John sees as the differences between the successful campaign he helped lead for Japanese American reparations, and what hurdles are facing Black Americans, starting with HR40

About John Tateishi: Incarcerated as a child in one of America’s WWII concentration camp, John Tateishi carried that memory with him when he launched the Japanese American reparations campaign in 1978. He directed the public affairs and legislative strategies of the campaign until 1986, two years before the campaign ultimately culminated with the signing of the Civil Liberties Act.  Ten years later, he led the JACL’s challenge against the Bush administration’s policies that targeted Arab and Muslim communities and undermined the civil liberties of all Americans. He is the author of Redress: The Inside Story of the Successful Campaign for Japanese American Reparations (2020).

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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When you hear the word “reparations” - what do you think? If you’re like us, it’s probably something you sort of thought about in theory, but realize there’s so much to understand that you want to hide. It’s not an easy word with an easy answer or a clear path forward, nor is it uncomplicated.  

Fortunately, we love to get complicated AND messy on this podcast, and so that’s why we’re thrilled today to have cameron whitten, the CEO of the racial justice nonprofit Brown Hope and Co-Founder of the Black Resilience Fund on today to talk about reparations, H.R. 40, Portland, and answer all of the questions you may have thought of - or even some that you have not - about reparations.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• What the word “reparations” really means when we talk about healing the legacy of slavery
• How reparations can actually show up - is it only cash? Who should the recipients be? And how should they be paid for?
• What the bill HR 40 entails
• The history of Portland and Oregon when it comes to slavery and racism

About cameron:  

At the age of eighteen, cameron whitten (all pronouns) worked themself out of youth homelessness in Portland and has spent the past decade giving back to the same community that was here when they needed it most. cameron has been a leader in several movements for social change, served as the Executive Director of Q Center, and is currently the CEO of racial justice nonprofit Brown Hope and Co-Founder of the Black Resilience Fund. They serve on the board of REACH CDC and Pioneer Courthouse Square.

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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It’s book launch day! And if you haven’t already pre-ordered, it’s time that you get your order in for Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism!

And then tell your friends and family today about it so they order, too.

Will make for some good conversations – plus, we’ll be opening up a book club conversation with you in November!

What to listen for, in celebration of our book launch, are the answers to a few questions we whittled down from an “Ask Us Anything” 24-hour callout we made on social media and our email list – so you’ll get our real, authentic selves in response to YOUR questions.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

Questions were:

What were your initial impressions of each other? Was it friend love at first sight?

How do your kids feel about your podcast and your book?

What was your hardest interview and/or episode to record? Why? 

Are there any episodes where you wish you had a do-over? Why? 

Where do each of you record your podcast? Where are your families then? 

How do you envision your work evolving going forward?

Where to order your copy of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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Remember the Titans has the specific scene that happens part of the way through the movie, when Coach Boone gets everyone out of bed in the middle of the night and tells them they’re going for a run in the woods. They run to the location of the Battle of Gettysburg. And Coach Boone stands there and he tells them:

“Anybody know what this place is? This is Gettysburg. This is where they fought the Battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fightin’ the same fight that we’re still fightin’ amongst ourselves today. This green field right here was painted red, bubblin’ with the blood of young boys, smoke and hot lead pourin’ right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men: “I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family.” You listen. And you take a lesson from the dead. If we don’t come together right now, on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed - just like they were. I don’t care if you like each other or not. But you will respect each other.”

That’s a movie, but we’re in this same place right now. We’ve been here throughout the past 5 years and while people have chosen to look away, believing that things are better in 2021 - they’re not. Listen to this episode to hear just how bad things have become - and what we can do about it, because while we are in a constitutional crisis, it’s not too late to push for change and get loud.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• Why the 2020 election and January 6 was so much worse than we believed, with the release of the Eastman memo
• What is the election reform that certain Republicans are pushing, and why we’re investigating election results when no fraud has been established
• What’s at stake if we don’t abolish the filibuster - because right now, it’s progress, or the destruction of our democracy
• The numbers to call Congress and the White House - and other ways to demand that we remove the filibuster

More resources: 

DWW Ep 110: Why we should all care about the filibuster

Kagan’s Op/Ed in the Washington Post 

Call Congress at (202) 224-3121, the White House at (202) 456-1111, or your Senators or Representatives to abolish the filibuster.  Discuss what’s at stake (Immigration reform, The For the People Act, The John Lewis Voting Rights Act, Reproductive rights, Gun control, Medicare for All, A Green New Deal, A $15 minimum wage, and the foundations of our democracy).

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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Sometimes there are those books that are so hauntingly beautiful, disturbing, or touching (or all three) that you can’t stop thinking about them for days after you finally put them down after binge reading them. Some of those for us are The Handmaid’s Tale, or Americanah, or Song of Solomon. But recently, we found another book that we’ve been thinking about ever since putting it down - Beautiful Country.

In her debut memoir, which she started writing in 2016 while on the subway on her iPhone, Qian Julie Wang tells her story of being an undocumented seven-year-old who arrives in New York City in 1994 with her parents from northern China - and all of the wonders and heartbreak and LIFE that happens as you come of age in a country that has expressly shown you that you don’t belong, in so many ways. Talking to her was like seeing this book come to life - but we didn’t just stop with the book. Listen in to hear about Beautiful Country, but also so much more, in this conversation that we didn’t want to end.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• What it felt like to risk everything and write openly about their move away from China
• Experiences growing up living in fear and poverty in New York, and how that’s shaped her current career as a lawyer
• Her thoughts on Afghani refugees, anti-Asian hate, and what we can all do to better understand the people in our communities

About the book: In Chinese, the word for America, “Mei Guo,” translates directly to “Beautiful Country.” Yet when 7-year-old Qian is plucked from her comfortable life in China where she’s surrounded by friends and family and arrives in New York City in 1994, she finds the roads paved not with gold, but instead crushing fear and scarcity. Her professor parents now work in Chinatown sweatshops and sushi factories. Instead of laughing at her jokes, they fight constantly. She no longer loves school because she’s too hungry to pay attention. Her mother, her sole confidante, is too sick to get out of bed, but going to the doctor isn't an option. And most distressing of all: the number one rule in America is that she must go unnoticed—or risk losing everything.  It’s under this perpetual specter of deportation that we watch Qian Julie come of age. Yet, while Qian Julie’s is a story of hopes dashed, it’s also one of life lived tenaciously in their stead, with small, vital joys and glimmers of hope: a dollar slice of pizza, Rockefeller Center at Christmastime, a bedroom with her own door, or her very own Tamagotchi digital pet.

About the author: Although the book ends when Qian Julie Wang’s family leaves the US 5 years later, her remarkable true story did not end there. She attended Swarthmore College and Yale Law School and, until recently, worked as a high-powered corporate litigator in Manhattan—in fact, she wrote the book almost entirely on her iPhone during her daily subway commute. She is now pursuing her advocacy work full-time and is managing partner of Gottlieb & Wang LLP, a firm dedicated to advocating for education and discrimination rights. She regularly speaks and writes on these issues, including recent op-eds for the New York Times and Washington Post.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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Last week’s episode was all about QAnon and how conspiracy theories can divide us as a nation. One of the things we think we can do to bridge the divide is bring mindfulness and skills around living with mindfulness into conversations about race, racism, identity, and beliefs - and to do that, we got to speak with an incredible law professor named Rhonda McGee.

In speaking with Rhonda, we learned not only about the role of law in helping - and hurting - racial divides, but we also discussed the role of mindfulness in helping people come into a grounded space to do this work in the first place. Once we added in her own brand of racial awareness called ColorInsight, we left this conversation with not only some reframed concepts but a deeper understanding of why we all need to be doing this work.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• How her background in law drew her into mindfulness - this part will blow your mind
• For those who are new to mindfulness and new to meditation, Professor McGee leading us through an actual few minutes of meditation!
• ColorInsight and what it means to hold race in our bodies
• How we can all navigate criticism - from Black people about catering to Whiteness, from White people about being racist for naming White as a race - in a more mindful way

About Rhonda: RHONDA V. MAGEE is a professor of law at the University of San Francisco. Also trained in sociology and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), she is a highly practiced facilitator of trauma-sensitive, restorative MBSR interventions for lawyers and law students, and for minimizing the effects of social-identity-based bias. Magee has been a visiting scholar at the Center for the Study of Law and Society and a visiting professor of law at the University of California, Berkeley.   

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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This fall we’re focused on hot-button topics. If you remember, we kicked off the fall with a conversation about the census and representation, which then moved into representation in the media and movies with Kamala Avila-Salmon, the head of inclusive content at Lionsgate Films. Today, we’re here to talk about another hot button topic that we’ve all heard about the last couple of years but we’ve never touched yet on the show: QAnon.

This conversation we’re about to share gave us some perspective on what really was happening with the development of the conspiracy theory, what risks we face as a country if we let this fester (it’s not good), and what we can each do differently that we weren't doing beforehand.  

ALSO - we have one month until our book launch! For those of you who are at all interested in joining our book launch team, email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com for details on what’s involved. We’d love to have you be a part of our book community!

What to listen for:

• The basic beliefs of QAnon, and what our guests think the harm is from letting the reported 17% of the US adult population who believes in this (baseless) conspiracy theory continue
• The influence of women - White women - in the growth and depth of QAnon
• What psychological needs QAnon fills for those who have fallen down the rabbit hole
• Importantly - what can each of us say or do for those people in our lives who believe in QAnon?

About the authors: 

Mia Bloom is the International Security Fellow at New America, professor at Georgia State University, and member of the Evidence-Based Cybersecurity Research Group. She has authored several books on violent extremism including Small Arms: Children and Terrorism (2019), Bombshell: Women and Terrorism (2011), and Dying to Kill: The Allure of Suicide Terror (2005). 

Sophia Moskalenko is a psychologist studying mass identity, inter-group conflict, and conspiracy theories. She has written several books, including the award-winning Friction: How Conflict Radicalizes Them and Us (2011) and The Marvel of Martyrdom: The Power of Self-Sacrifice in the Selfish World (2019).

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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We promised last week in our intro to fall and census conversation that we’d be focusing on some hot button topics that we’ve seen trending of late.

And representation is a huge one - especially with the recent release of the mostly Asian cast of Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - and the question of how people in the entertainment field can get “diverse” movies totally right, or totally wrong.

Today we’re talking with the fantastic Kamala Avila-Salmon, head of inclusive content at Lionsgate, about some hard truths around media, entertainment and diversity. In this episode, there’s a lot for us to think about as consumers, and as people in our own fields who might want to make change - things to think about to make sure we’re not being performative and missing the mark, but instead, digging deep and thinking holistically about changing the narrative.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The state of the entertainment industry when it comes to “diverse” films - how much money is being left on the table right now, who the target audience of these films are, and how to think about casting
• The day to day life and specific challenges of someone who brings integrity-filled diversity to the movies we see on our screens
• Kamala’s theory of change when it comes to racial awareness and racial justice
• What we can do as audience members to demand more diversity in films
• Kamala’s favorite movies!

About Kamala: 

Kamala Avila-Salmon is the Head of Inclusive Content at Lionsgate Motion Picture Group. She joined Lionsgate from Facebook, where she launched the Marketing Inclusion strategy within their Consumer Marketing team. Kamala began her career in the marketing department of RCA Records, then joined Bad Boy Records; she also worked at Universal Pictures and then moved to NBC Entertainment in TV. Kamala joined Google Play as an executive responsible for marketing campaigns to promote Google Play Music and Google Play Movies, then transitioned to the launch team for YouTube TV.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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Hello and welcome to Fall! What we’re really excited about - besides our book coming out in mid October! - is our fall lineup of episodes. Now that we’re done with our Summer of Action, we’re focused on issues that have not only been in our consciousness, but ones that we’ve been hearing about throughout 2021 and ones that we’d like to highlight for the fall.  

In September, we’ll be focusing on current events and topics that you may have heard about in the news - including representation in the media, Qanon, and so much more. October will be devoted to all things voting and our political systems as we look at the practical things we all need to be aware of when we vote this November, or in 2022 - or as we read or listen to the news. Finally, in November, we’ll be talking to people who are working on transformative change in their own spheres of influence, and see how they got involved in doing this impactful work.  

And to kick this off - let’s talk about the Census. Because we’ve learned a lot about who we are and our own communities with the news that’s been coming out over these last few weeks.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• Our summer recap and what it’s like to have some kids back in school!
• The overview of our fall lineup
• Breaking down the latest census information - how the census impacts policies and elections not just for the next ten years, but for potentially the next hundred
• How lawmakers froze the number of members in the House of Representatives at a max - even though that cap is not mandated in the Constitution
• And yes, of course, how the demographics appear to be showing a marked decline in the White population of this country - and how that can be both reality and a question of more accurate data

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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Let’s talk about workplace safety. No, not that kind of workplace safety - we’re here to talk about building psychologically safe workspaces, which in our opinion is a crucial conversation especially as we’re reimagining workspaces in this era of COVID. And you’ll want to hear this WHOLE conversation, because there are knowledge bombs just being tossed around by our guest throughout this entire episode.

Today we’re talking to Jeff Harry, who is the founder of Rediscover Your Play, and who works with companies and individuals to help lift their veil of BS in order to make their work more fulfilling and rediscover their joyful purpose, all the while removing what is getting in the way of their success. This conversation got us thinking, and we hope it gets you thinking too.  

After this episode, which sadly is the very last in our Summer of Action, our ask is this: tell all your friends to listen to this episode, especially those with workplaces.  And take a good hard look at your own workplace. How can you make it more psychologically safe for EVERYONE who works there?  

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• What constitutes a psychologically safe workplace
• How people can navigate toxic situations and have important challenging conversations in a way that gets past performative allyship
• Why and how Jeff addresses toxic masculinity in his work
• How broad of a concept play really can be, and what are some of the necessary steps to be able to truly play - both at work and in all the other spheres of our lives

About Jeff:

Jeff Harry shows individuals and companies how to tap into their true selves, to feel their happiest and most fulfilled — all by playing. Jeff has worked with Google, Microsoft, Southwest Airlines, Adobe, the NFL, Amazon, and Facebook, helping their staff to infuse more play into the day-to-day.

Jeff is an international speaker who has presented at conferences such as INBOUND, SXSW, and Australia’s Pausefest, showing audiences how major issues in the workplace can be solved using play. Jeff was selected by BambooHR & Engagedly as one of the Top 100 HR Influencers of 2020 for his organizational development work around dealing with toxic people in the workplace. His play work has most recently been featured in the Upworthy, Mashable, Shondaland, and the play-work-life-balance.html">NY Times. He has also been featured on AJ+, SoulPancake, the SF Chronicle, and CNN. 

While we spend most of our time pretending to be important, serious grownups, it's when we let go of that facade and just play, that the real magic happens. Fully embracing your own nerdy genius — whatever that is — gives you the power to make a difference and change lives. Jeff believes that we already have many of the answers we seek, and by simply unleashing our inner child, we can find our purpose and, in turn, help to create a better world.

SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLES:

Website: RediscoverYourPlay.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/jeffharryplays

Instagram: @jeffharryplays

TikTok: @jeffharryplays

Medium: @jeffharryplays

Twitter: @jeffharryplays

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-harry-6991a94/

RESOURCES TO INSPIRE YOU TO PLAY MORE

• How To Stop Wasting Time Scrolling And Start Finding Joy In Play - Mashable
• Adults Need Playtime Just As Must As Kids - Shondaland
• play-work-life-balance.html">How Do You Add Play To Grown-Up Life - Even Now - NY Times
• These People Who Took Risks And Found Their Purpose Through Passion - Upworthy

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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If you’re listening to this episode at the time that it’s being released, and you’re thinking about work, you’re probably thinking about returning to a physical office in this new land of the Delta variant, or perhaps you’re looking for a job, or you’re figuring out how to get a new job because you’re done with the one that you have. Or maybe you don’t want to talk or think about work at all. But the reality is - we all understand work dynamics and most of us cannot escape the reality that we do need to belong to a group that provides us with money to make a living. 

So here’s our question: what happens when you make a mistake at work? 

What if we told you that there’s another way to do business - one that focuses on love? 

We were convinced that this might work after we spoke with our guests today - and read their book. Mohammed Anwar and Jeff Ma are executives at Softway, a company whose mission is to bring humanity back to the workplace. In their book, Love as a Business Strategy, they break down how this is possible. After you’ve heard what they have to say, here’s what we’d like you to do: tell all your friends to listen (you knew that was coming!). Then buy their book from their website, and download the free resources too. Read it, and share it with your teams - both at work, and in other spheres. And then let us know what most resonated with you by emailing us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. 

Let’s put humanity first at work and see where that gets us.  

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The major dysfunction in Softway’s company culture that led them to make a shift
• The biggest resistance to the idea of love in the workplace
• What it takes for leadership to lead a massive shift in workplace culture
• How using love as a business strategy affected their relationships outside the workplace

About our guests:

Jeff Ma

Jeff spent the first decade of his career working in the video game industry, from game testing to project management. He continues to bring his love for games into everything he does, from playing with his kids to training and coaching leaders.

Jeff has a burning passion for board games, magic tricks, Agile, and growth mindsets. He was born and raised in Texas, where he and his beautiful wife, Maggie, dote heavily on their wonderful children, Cody and Penelope.

Mohammad Anwar

Mohammad is the youngest of five children and was born and raised in Saudi Arabia by Indian parents from Bengaluru. He graduated from the University of Houston (Go Coogs) with a BS in Computer Science and started Softway at twenty, where he still serves as the President and CEO.

Mohammad lives in Sugar Land, Texas, with his amazing wife Yulia, a Russian diver and five-time Olympic medalist, and his beautiful children, Sufia and Moshin. In his spare time, he enjoys fitness, watching college sports, and butchering American idioms.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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After last week’s episode with Christine Platt (aka the Afrominimalist), this scenario may sound familiar: You look around your house.  It’s full of stuff - stuff that you don’t wear, stuff that you don’t use, stuff that you don’t need. You gather everything up in bags and boxes and, once the Donate pile is big enough, you move it to the garage or outside, ready for the next step.  But then you pause. What IS the next step? Where do you take what you don’t need anymore, that can provide the most help for people who really do need these things?  

We sat down with Sable Schultz, the Director of Transgender Services at the Center on Colfax in Denver, Colorado, to talk about a very different - and important - way in which your donations can make not only an impact, but really show someone that they matter.  

After you tell all your friends about this episode, look up the organizations that Sable mentions. Do the Google search for your own city. Think twice about where your donations go, because sometimes, even if it’s not the easiest option, it’s the most impactful. And remember that small things, like adding your pronouns to your email or asking someone for theirs, can make all the difference.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• Small things you can do to make a difference, including ways you can choose to direct your clothing donations
• Gender identity vs gender expression
• What it means to transgender individuals to have clothing that matches their identity

About Sable: Sable Schultz (she/her/hers) is the Director of Transgender Services at The Center on Colfax, where her work includes inclusivity and awareness trainings, providing resources support services for the trans community in the Denver metro area, and programming to assist in developing community awareness and engagement. Sable is a queer, poly, trans woman; social justice warrior; and witch and has been engaged in inclusivity and advocacy work for over 15 years. She has worked with the Mental Health Center of Denver, University of Denver’s Center for Multicultural Excellence, the Movement Advancement Project, and the LGBTQ Student Resource Center on Auraria campus. Sable enjoys computer, console, and tabletop gaming and is active in the Leather and pagan communities.

About The Center on Colfax: The Center on Colfax opened in 1976 and over the years has grown to become the largest community center in the Rocky Mountain region, giving voice to Colorado’s LGBT community and playing a pivotal role in statewide initiatives to reduce harassment and discrimination. Today the Center is focused on fulfilling its mission – to engage, empower, enrich and advance the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community of Colorado – by ensuring that every member of the LGBT community has access to the programs and resources they need to live happy, healthy, and productive lives.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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When you think about liberation, what comes to mind: Intentional action? Physical protests? Thoughtful contemplation? One thing we didn’t really think about was minimalism as a form of liberation. We didn’t see the connection then between liberation and simplifying until after we spoke with our guest, and read her book. Now we believe: less can be liberation.

Today we interview Christine Platt, who is also known as the Afrominimalist. And in preparation, ask yourself: what is a minimalist space? Once you’ve got that vision, the next question is: whose aesthetic is this? After you listen to this episode, we challenge you to tell five people about this episode - and then start examining how minimalism can be liberation in YOUR life and other ways to view minimalism that aren’t part of the mainstream narrative. And then go and buy her book, The Afrominimalist.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com 

What to listen for:

• Why minimalism is so difficult to begin to embrace in the first place
• What Afrominimalism does that makes it stand out from decluttering and following the Instagram vision of minimalism and Marie Kondo-ing your spaces
• How your energy shifts once as you transition to your own aesthetic, and how YOU can get started making changes in your own life right now

About Christine: 

Christine Platt is a modern-day Renaissance woman. From serving as an advocate for policy reform to using the power of storytelling as a tool for social change, Christine’s work reflects her practice of living with intention. She holds a BA in Africana Studies, an MA in African-American Studies, and a JD in General Law. Christine has written over two dozen literary works for people of all ages. When she’s not writing, Christine spends her time curating The Afrominimalist—a creative platform chronicling her journey to minimalism. Visit her online at TheAfrominimalist or on Instagram @afrominimalist.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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After what seemed like five years rolled into one in 2020, it’s hard to believe that we are now approximately halfway through 2021. We hope that our earlier summer episodes have given you all some ways to practically and intentionally think differently about small, yet impactful, decisions that we make as part of our everyday lives.

But as we think of summer, we also think about the Summer Olympics. In general, we love everything about them - the athletics, the camaraderie, the national pride, the international nature. Really, we love it all.

But what we don’t love about the Olympics this year (besides holding it during a global pandemic) is how Black athletes, and in particular, Black female athletes, have been treated even prior to a single Olympic event happening (and, at the time that we recorded this, it’s still unsure how and if events will happen as planned). We’re breaking down that disparate treatment in today’s episode, along with our thoughts about how best to show your support (the title is probably a spoiler alert there).

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com 

What to listen for:

• The stories of Sha’Carri Richardson, Christine Mboma and Beatrice Masilingi of Namibia, the Soul Cap, and other stories from this year’s Olympics that make it clear that Black athletes are being treated differently
• How the Olympics isn’t really about humanity and celebration of achievement, but about chasing dollars (or whatever currency you use!).
• Our view of what you can do to make change: consider not watching the Olympics this year. 

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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As we’re still in our summer of action, we had a conversation lately behind the scenes to ask ourselves: are these episodes actionable enough? And we really believe that to make all of this work sustainable, sometimes it has to be in the little things. It has to be in which link you send to your friend about a book you’re recommending - Amazon or Bookshop? - and it has to be in looking deep within yourself and looking around to build a more diverse community. But sometimes it’s also about doing work - social activism, DEI work in your organizations, and the groups you’re a part of.  

We’re back with Part 2 of our fabulous conversation with Kelly and Aurora of The Opt-In to look at all different forms of activism, ways to think about where we’ve collectively been and where we are in this realm, and suggestions for courses and people to look at. And fundamentally the message is: we can do hard things. This isn’t even one of the hardest things we’ll do in our lives, but it may be what has the most lasting impact - not only for ourselves but for our kids. Remember: it’s seemingly little things and little choices that make lasting, much larger changes in our communities and our world.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com  

What to listen for:

• How The Opt-In thinks about social activism, in both corporate and social spheres
• Why and how women have been doing tough things all along, and how women have the innate ability to do hard things
• Small ways in which we can shift our mindset and our actions to lead to bigger change
• Organizations and people Kelly and Aurora suggest we look at to do this work

About Aurora: 

Aurora Archer, an Afro-Latina, hustled up the corporate ladder to the executive suite, and yet still experienced the same implicit bias, microaggressions, and overt racism as her parents, who spent their lives working as domestic help while raising Aurora in Texas. After 25 years of marketing awards and promotions, Aurora realized there had to be a better way to use her talents without sacrificing her true self and health. She wisely identified the white supremacist cultural conditioning at the center of the problem, and Aurora set her sights on transforming our culture, from the inside out, one tough conversation at a time. In 2018, Aurora partnered with her white best friend Kelly Croce Sorg to form The Opt-In, and continued the journey of intentionally supporting Kelly and their white podcast listeners, learning community, corporate clients and others to learn with accountability the racial literacy, stamina, and introspective skills they need to help dismantle white supremacy within themselves and all aspects of their lives.

About Kelly: 

Kelly Croce Sorg, an expert in white womanhood, grew up über-privileged as the daughter of an NBA team owner. Her father lived the rags-to-riches story of the white American Dream, and her mom, a homemaker, raised the kids while her dad focused on numerous entrepreneurial ventures. After college, Kelly’s adult life looked a lot like those of her white friends and family. Ask most white women her age, and they would tell you Kelly had it all yet she constantly sought self-improvement. It wasn’t until her bestie, Aurora Archer, gifted Kelly the book White Fragility she realized she wasn’t as “woke” as she thought she was, and after numerous heart-to-hearts with Aurora, Kelly opted into examining her white identity as a way to claim her own humanity. She is now co-founder of The Opt-In, where she continues to learn while engaging in the uncomfortable, but necessary, conversations about race with her co-host Aurora, in what she calls a love letter to her white friends and family, advocating that they can all do better, herself included.

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We’re continuing our summer of action and diving deeper. And as we’re releasing this episode, we’re also in the midst of a summer that’s been filled with more friends and family and conversation and ability to BE TOGETHER in a way that we haven’t been able to be since March of 2020. #vaccines

It makes us think of friendship, community, and how much we learn from each other - not only through our similarities, which is how we often create friendships, but also our differences, which can be particularly true when we think about cross-racial friendships and communities.  

Today we’re excited to have Kelly and Aurora from The Opt-In, two of our very favorites, to discuss community, cross-racial friendships, and so much more. What we love about these women is that they are real - real about the good parts of their friendships and identities, and also the tough parts. And because we loved them so much, we split our conversation with them into two parts. Part I is this episode. Part II - well, you’ll have to stay tuned. But it centers around what we can all do in terms of social activism and moving the needle - and spoiler alert, it starts from within.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com  

What to listen for:

• Who Kelly and Aurora are, and what community means to each of them
• How community can be hard to find for White people, and some of the ways in which that physically appears
• How we can create more inclusive communities for ourselves and our families
• The true strengths - and challenges - of cross-racial friendships

About Aurora: 

Aurora Archer, an Afro-Latina, hustled up the corporate ladder to the executive suite, and yet still experienced the same implicit bias, microaggressions, and overt racism as her parents, who spent their lives working as domestic help while raising Aurora in Texas. After 25 years of marketing awards and promotions, Aurora realized there had to be a better way to use her talents without sacrificing her true self and health. She wisely identified the white supremacist cultural conditioning at the center of the problem, and Aurora set her sights on transforming our culture, from the inside out, one tough conversation at a time. In 2018, Aurora partnered with her white best friend Kelly Croce Sorg to form The Opt-In and continued the journey of intentionally supporting Kelly and their white podcast listeners, learning community, corporate clients, and others to learn with accountability the racial literacy, stamina, and introspective skills they need to help dismantle white supremacy within themselves and all aspects of their lives.

About Kelly: 

Kelly Croce Sorg, an expert in white womanhood, grew up über-privileged as the daughter of an NBA team owner. Her father lived the rags-to-riches story of the white American Dream, and her mom, a homemaker, raised the kids while her dad focused on numerous entrepreneurial ventures. After college, Kelly’s adult life looked a lot like those of her white friends and family. Ask most white women her age, and they would tell you Kelly had it all yet she constantly sought self-improvement. It wasn’t until her bestie, Aurora Archer, gifted Kelly the book White Fragility she realized she wasn’t as “woke” as she thought she was, and after numerous heart-to-hearts with Aurora, Kelly opted in to examining her white identity as a way to claim her own humanity. She is now co-founder of The Opt-In, where she continues to learn while engaging in the uncomfortable, but necessary, conversations about race with her co-host Aurora, in what she calls a love letter to her white friends and family, advocating that they can all do better, herself included.

Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

If you’ve been listening to our episodes in order, you know we’ve been focused on the role of community, as well as small business in community - and how we can show up for one another when we support the amazing people who run these.

Today we have Bunnie Hilliard, the owner of an Atlanta-based bookstore called Brave+Kind, on the podcast.  She talks about her move from corporate America to opening Brave+Kind, the intentionality that comes into all of her decisions about the physical space of her store as well as how that showed up online during the pandemic, and what she’d like us all to know not only about children’s books but how we can take those conversations into our own homes, and have our buying patterns reflect what we truly believe in. 

Our ask for you after you listen: Take those books out of your Amazon cart and find them in an independent bookstore - online, or in your community.  Tell all your friends to do the same thing.  And if you’re looking for recommendations - shoot us an email at hello at dearwhitewomen dot com.  We’ve got you.  

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com  

What to listen for:

• What got Bunnie from corporate American to a small business owner with Brave + Kind Bookshop
• The role of community in supporting her store, and her own intentionality behind how people can see themselves in Brave+Kind
• Some of her must-read books (some of which are new to us as well!)
• Her thoughts about Amazon vs. buying from small businesses

About Bunnie:

In her own words, Bunnie Hilliard is a mother, wife, serial entrepreneur, former podcaster, and a believer. She is the owner of Brave+Kind Books, which is a thoughtfully curated little neighborhood kids bookshop with a unique selection of inclusive, classic, artful stories, story clubs, and special gifts in Decatur, Georgia.

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Let’s face it: we are an app-based, “easy button” based, instant gratification kind of society. One click of a button and we get something brought to our house: food, alcohol, flowers - basically anything you can ask for. If it’s not instant, you can get it for free shipping and in two days if you’re an Amazon Prime member. But, as we’ve often asked on this podcast, what is the true cost of your purchases when you’re getting them through these apps, and not through your community and local store owners?

Today we talk to one of those businesses - and the women behind it. Nirvana Soul isn’t only about providing amazing coffee to the people of San Jose, California - it’s about creating community through shared spaces, carefully curated art, and so much more. Be’Anka and Jeronica opened their doors during a pandemic, but in so doing they brought community to their own community - and that’s priceless. Our ask for you after you listen: go find one of these spaces in your own community, go support them (and for real - not in a performative way), and then tell all your friends to do the same. We rise by lifting others, and we need each other right now more than ever.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The journey and process behind opening Nirvana Soul, including the importance of the name
• What the role of coffee shops is in communities (hint: it’s not just about coffee)
• What Jeronica and Be’Anka want to share with White women about Nirvana Soul, and supporting local Black-owned businesses
• The intentionality that they bring into creating community for their staff, and where they see Nirvana Soul going in five and ten years into the future

About Be’Anka and Jeronica:

Jeronica has been in the coffee game for nearly two decades as a barista, manager, and consultant. She knows her sh*t. And Be’Anka is not just a marketer. She’s a methodical, systematic, demand generation marketer who knows a thing or two about successful retail. Their combined experience of coffee and marketing operations is just as much a unique value as their sisterhood itself. Together, they are Nirvana Soul. Using the power of coffee and tea to bring people together.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

Support us through Patreon!  Learn about our virtual community – and you’re welcome to join.

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Every once in a while, we both read a book that makes us immediately text the other to say: have you read this?  Isn’t it amazing?  That’s what happened when we read A Radical Awakening.

We were blown away by the revolutionary way of thinking and being that is suggested for women in this book, and were so deeply grateful to find that Dr. Shefali’s energy and authenticity match her reputation.

There’s little else left for us to say, other than this is a can’t-miss episode, and that you should go to Bookshop to order this book immediately. 

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com  

What to listen for:

• How women have been taught to be self-sacrificial, and are afraid to speak up for themselves and each other
• What the process of Radical Awakening entails, and how that shows up differently for people of different skin tones
• When Dr. Shefali calls Sara out for believing that the “we” culture is on equal footing with the “me” culture in the United States - when in reality, it’s the minority
• How doing the inner work translates into women supporting the greater good

About Dr. Shefali: 

Dr. Shefali received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, she brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching courses around the globe. Dr. Shefali has written four books, including the award-winning, New York Times bestsellers The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She's been featured prominently on Oprah Winfrey's platforms, Good Morning America, the Today Show, Hoda & Jenna, among many others. Dr. Shefali lives in New York City. More at: www.aradicalawakening.com

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Mamas, here’s a real question for you: How Whyte are your spaces?

We write that word that way because the censors seem to be limiting our ability to write it as w-h-i-t-e without being hurt by the algorithms.

But really, when we talk about a summer of action, we mean starting within your very own spheres of influence.  And as moms, we have a lot of influence.  So let’s start by looking at our own circles!

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com  

What to listen for:

• What Larisa’s experiences of being a woman of color in mothering circles have been like
• How Heymama, a fantastic international network of moms, has made a point to embrace inclusivity - and what they’ve done to make these changes
• Advice for mom communities on what to think about when you’re considering being more inclusive

About Larisa and HeyMama: 

Larisa Courtien is the Senior Director of Partnerships and Experiences at Heymama, a private, inclusive community for working moms who are building their careers and families. #HeyMama

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If you’ve been listening to our podcast for a while, you know that we lean into heart-led action to create change - and today we get to interview an expert on where that heart-led action comes from. Terri Givens is a woman of many talents, but one of them is author, and we’re talking to her about her book Radical Empathy, which provides a framework as to how we reach radical empathy for ourselves, and where radical empathy can be used to make change and bridge racial divides (hint: it’s pretty much everywhere). 

We’re also super excited to announce that Terri is the one who wrote the foreword for our forthcoming book Dear White Women: Let’s Get Uncomfortable Talking About Racism - which is now available for preorder! 

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for: 

• The six steps to radical empathy - and how it’s tied into action
• How Terri’s personal story, including race, contributed to her analysis that outlines this path to bridge racial divides
• What role does our empathy towards ourselves play into our ability to extend empathy to others, with regards to “invisible” health issues?

About Terri: Terri Givens is the CEO and Founder of Brighter Higher Ed. She is also a political scientist with more than 30 years of success in higher education, politics, international affairs, and non-profits. She is an accomplished speaker and uses her platform to develop leaders with an understanding of the importance of diversity and encourages personal growth through empathy.

Terri has held leadership positions as Vice Provost at University of Texas at Austin and Provost of Menlo College (first African American and woman); professorships at University of Texas at Austin, and University of Washington. She was the founding director at the Center for European Studies at the University of Texas and led the university’s efforts in Mexico and Latin America as Vice Provost for International Activities. At Menlo College she has led faculty and staff in developing programs for first-generation students, updating curriculum and infrastructure for evidence-based assessment.

Terri is the author/editor of books and articles on immigration policy, European politics, and security. Her most recent book is the memoir, Radical Empathy: Finding a Path to Bridging Racial Divides.

Where to buy Radical Empathy: https://policy.bristoluniversitypress.co.uk/radical-empathy

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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We’re here, just over one year after the murder of George Floyd, with a question: now that we’ve spent a year in discussions centered on being more open about racism, systemic racism, and how we can be more anti-racist, what have we actually done about it?  How do we feel?  Where do we go from here, and more importantly - where should we collectively be moving as a country?

Today’s episode is a conversation - a reflection of what we’ve experienced last year collectively and personally, and most importantly, an introduction to our summer of action.  Let’s move past “muted and listening” and onto action, because that’s how we’re actually going to make change, together.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

• The biggest shifts that Misasha & Sara have seen, both personally, and as a collective in our culture, in the one year since George Floyd was murdered
• Why we need to move beyond “muted and listening,” and into concrete action
• Introducing our summer of action series of episodes designed to push you to take steps to move the needle on anti-racism, in your own spheres of influence
• So tell your friends to follow Dear White Women wherever they listen to podcasts!

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This episode is personal, as we’re both Japanese women. We’ve been called exotic. We’ve had White men visibly change their reactions to us when they find out we’re Japanese. We’ve then had to hear about their “other Asian girlfriends”. For the record?  That’s disgusting.

But we need to talk.  We need to talk about what we’ve personally experienced, what our Asian female friends have experienced, and the history that we, as a country, don’t want to talk about - namely, how Asian women are seen by Americans, and in particular, White men.  Because, more often than not, we’re seen as invisible, exotic, sexual toys.  And we’re done with that B.S., to be quite clear.  

Because what happens when we don’t talk about it? Atlanta, and the further perpetuation of historical inaccuracies, untruths, and stereotypes that we need to change right now.

Have questions, comments, or concerns?  Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for: 

• The role the US government and military played in the creating the hypersexualized steroetypes of Asian women
• Two harmful female Asian stereotypes: The Lotus Flower and Dragon Lady
• How our history, unaddressed, leads to false and damaging notions of Asian women - and leads to killings like in Atlanta

For more reading:

How a Long History of Intertwined Racism and Misogyny Leaves Asian Women in America Vulnerable to Violence

A Sociologist's View On The Hyper-Sexualization Of Asian Women In American Society

Fetishized, sexualized and marginalized, Asian women are uniquely vulnerable to violence

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