Harry is on his own, a lonesome man, unhoused, unhinged, unmoored, anchorless. Like a ship without a rudder, cast into the night. And then the freaking Magic School Bus picks him up and they learn about science.

Strap yourselves in for a whole lot of discussion about theories of justice. Which is what I know you came here for.

Wherein Harry Potter sits around like a freaking emo kid the entire chapter. He chases around a book at one point, but even that isn't particularly interesting.

Wherein the book comes to a thankful end. And I get all whiny about a bunch of stuff. This one's good, I swear.

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Wherein a single sentence derails this entire project, Tom Riddle does a Rod Serling impression, and some other nonsense happens.

The best practices of content creation in Capitalist America demand that I tell you to "be sure to like and subscribe and leave a five-star review." But you don't have to if you don't want to. I won't be upset. This content is free, it's sponsorship-free, and it's "begging for money on Patreon"-free because, dammit, some things ought to exist outside of the profit motive. If I had my druthers, those things would include healthcare, basic social services, and college education, but all I can deliver at the moment is this strange podcast about Harry Potter.

You can follow me on twitter, if you'd like, though I don't do much tweeting these days, at @darintries. You can email me at darintries@gmail.com. Or just find me and talk to me like a real person. I'm around.

Wherein we finally find out who has been singing those Fury of Five covers (It's a snake). Some other stuff happens, too, but frankly I don't really remember anymore.

Music by the Future Virgins (RIP)

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Wherein the Hogwarts nursing staff is as incompetent as everyone else in the wizarding world; Harry and Ron sing Social Distortion songs with a spider king; and, really, what would this podcast be without a lengthy, pedantic discussion of narrative structure?

Music by the Future Virgins (RIP)

Subscribe and Review. Or don't. Whatever.

Follow me on twitter at @Darintries. Or don't. Whatever.

Wherein we meet a Keebler Elf with a questionable sense of due process rights, Hogwarts undergoes some frankly much-needed personnel changes, and I discuss the role of humor in the book.

Wherein Bossy Girl tries out the furry lifestyle, Harry Potter finds a book that doesn't have anything written on it and keeps it anyway, and Ginny hires a dwarf to beat up Harry Potter. There's also an extended discussion of the nature of evil with a, let's say, tangential relationship to the chapter.

Like and Subscribe and review and all that. Follow me on twitter: @Darintries. The theme song is by the Future Virgins (RIP)

Wherein Harry forgets to take off his shoes, figures out how to make a Buddhist Monk jealous, and learns about the Hogwarts to Azkaban Pipeline. Oh, and Ginny tries to understand “Darin Tries to Understand Harry Potter.”