It's New Years Day! Well so what? What's that got to do with anything? It certainly won't improve Archie's mood, no matter what Reg tries.Despite being offered the opportunity to christen a ship Archie is unable to help himself getting cross as he recalls what Group Captain Sir Douglas Robert Steuart Bader, CBE, DSO & Bar, DFC & Bar, DL, did to the poor swans.Elsewhere, to bring a little bit of cheer to the proceedings, Reg attempts to intrigue Archie with a party game. Some role-playing ensues.  It does not end well.An attempt by Reg to remind Archie of the lyrics of the famous 1980's pop hit 'The Reflex' goes equally badly. Bloody Simon le Bon.Follow the chaps at once on Twitter: @ArchieAndReg

Ho Ho Ho. But enough about your Mum.Seasons greetings from the club where we find Reg trying to spread a little Christmas cheer. Well we can't be having any of that!Later thoughts turn to the miracle birth that happened so many years ago. But did Reg really have to watch the conception? Archie is, naturally, outraged.All this can only mean one thing- a letter must be written to the PM. But is Archie correct? Does this letter actually reveal that Reg is a bestial pervert?Probably.

Archie and Reg have a Christmas special heading your way. So long as Reg doesn't sing. If he does you can't have it. As God is our witness, it will not come to pass!But if it does you can hear it on Christmas Day.

We note that nobody has written a review on iTunes since our last episode. You bastards.Regardless, Bubter has gone too far! However, once the dust has settled Archie is disturbed to find that Reg is quite the slut! After he's put it away Reg settles down to a nice sandwich. "Beef", apparently. Or maybe not. Things then get a little annoying but this is nothing when compared to the question as to "Who Shot JR"?Follow the chaps on Twitter: @ArchieAndReg

Vicars need to be dealt with swiftly! Following this Archie is sporting a new adornment on his head, but woe betide Reg if he happens to notice it.After this memories transport our duo to their youth and, in Reg's case, to a very bad person who kissed him. No matter how bad an experience this was it was nothing compared to poor pretentious Stephen Hawkings and his escapade at the circus recently.COMPETITION: Write Archie and Reg a (glowing five star) review on iTunes and have your name abused disgracefully in a forthcoming episode!Follow the chaps on Twitter: @ArchieAndReg

Plague is stalking the land like a...stork...or something. Archie and Reg are confined to the club! Could a horrifying discovery signal that they have some deeper involvement?Confined to their homes Reg introduces Archie to the joys of Skype and then insists Archie should clap for the "NHS". This presents a problem. After all, surely the NHS are working class?Follow the chaps on Twitter @ArchieAndReg...and support your NHS workers. They are wonderful and without them we would all be truly screwed.Stay safe!A&R x

Reg has a joke to tell! Archie, being a fine upstanding moral chap cannot stand for this sort of thing. A second attempt to tell a joke falls foul of Magnum PI himself, Tom Selleck! Surely this cannot lead to any sort of terrible humiliation for Reg? Finally memories turn to Auntie Anne. A good sort and a lady who was not unknown to endure the hardest of times. She liked it hard did Auntie Anne.Follow the chaps on Twitter @ArchieAndReg

Bloody Elton John is in the club but, unbelievably, that isn't the worst of Archie and Reg's problems today. Memories return to the pretentious Stephen Hawking, Archie's enemy, and the time when Bubter served the late Physicist a special home made surprise. Reg, meanwhile, is recalling a happy childhood memory. Naturally this is an opportunity for Archie to inflict some horrific mental cruelty. Reg becomes concerned about how sound is created in the vacuum of space.Quite what this has to do with vibrators is anybody's guess. Bubter, in an attempt to ensure our titular heroes drink up and leave when they're meant to, has installed an alarm in the club. Quite what that has to do with the shouty German chaps outside though is up for debate...Follow the chaps on Twitter- @ArchieAndReg

Channel 5? Common. However after that important lesson thoughts turn to a man. Not THE man, but a man. Somehow Archie and Reg must unknit the diseased mass that is Archie's brain to discover who this was! Reg, meanwhile, is learning French. A pointless exercise when Archie is fluent in French. Just so long as you don't ask him to prove it. And then there's Clive. Poor Clive and his Chimp...Wife. Definetely his wife and not a monkey. She needs training and some extreme approaches must be taken.

Tough times ahead as Reg reveals himself to be a colossal pervert! He's been watching filth on the television. Well, at least that's what Archie thinks. Young men expelling through their wands? Surely this is perversion of the highest magnitude? Could it be that Reg is a Satanist? Archie believes so.To settle the mood (and pacify Archie), Reg agrees to play a game. What could go wrong when the traditional fun of a "one word story" is left in the hands of two chaps who should really be locked up?Once the fallout from this is dealt with Archie reveals he has been planning to whom he can leave all his wordly goods once he passes on. Surely there is a little something for his dear friend Reg?Follow the chaps on Twitter @ArchieAndReg and on Facebook.