This week, Mark is joined by podcaster, improv comedian and Harry Potter superfan Cat Turner, to collaborate on a list of the best five characters in JK Rowling’s Hogwarts universe.

If spoilers are a thing you want to avoid, maybe skip this one until you’re all caught up. Like Mark maybe should’ve.

Cat grew up listening to Stephen Fry read the Harry Potter books, and wants to sort her soon-to-arrive hamster into the appropriate Hogwarts house, but she insists she isn’t a nerd about it.

Mark’s seen some of the Harry Potter films and listened, a little distractedly, to the first four Potter audiobooks.

As well as knowing everything there is to know about Harry Potter, Cat is also a maths genius, which is something she credits partially with her own Professor McGonagall. Cat also presents Cat’s Cabinet of Curiosities, a podcast uncovering the weird things people believe, like that the Titanic was switched at the last minute, or that Beyoncé faked her pregnancy.

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (06:00) - Mr Nibbles’ sorting ceremony
• (11:56) - We have bones to pick with JK Rowling
• (18:49) - Honourable mentions
• (20:34) - Cat’s pick: Rubeus Hagrid
• (23:09) - Mark’s pick: Professor Snape
• (25:02) - Cat’s pick: Regulus Black
• (28:38) - Mark’s pick: Professor Dumbledore
• (31:06) - Cat’s pick: Lavender Brown
• (32:51) - Mark’s pick: Neville Longbottom
• (36:25) - Cat’s pick: Professor McGonagall
• (40:20) - Mark's pick: R̶o̶n̶ ̶W̶e̶a̶s̶l̶e̶y̶ Hermione Granger
• (42:27) - Cat's pick: the house elf
• (43:49) - Finalising the list
• (46:45) - Is there someone missing?
• (49:04) - Goodbyes

You can, and should, find Cat’s Cabinet of Curiosities wherever you find fine podcasts, and follow her and the show on Twitter.