Get ready y’all. This is an episode unlike any other I’ve had. My guest, Tawny Platis, is a voice actor, a comedian, host of her own podcast, and well, she uses dark humor as a tool to navigate the traumatic death of her husband George, who was just 29. We explored how Tawny uses her comedic instincts to help her navigate this tremendous loss, even just moments after she found her husband in a messy scene dead on the floor of their home. We talk about the expectations people have about how widows should behave and the discomfort and judgment some people feel when someone is grieving differently than them. We drop some truth-bombs about grief in general and young widowhood in particular. We do it all with humor, profanity AND sincerity and insight because, yes, we used all the tools at our disposal to talk about this difficult topic and you should too. I can’t wait for you to meet her.

Episode Resources:

Follow Tawny on Instagram, TikTok or check out her podcast Death is Hilarious 

Jump straight into:

(03:25) - Tawny’s first experiences with grief - “I remember being told not to be so emotional because I was being dramatic and I was making other people uncomfortable.”

(09:00) - Using comedy as a coping mechanism - “My family didn't really have a lot of love for me, but if I could make them laugh, it felt like they did. And then that extended towards everybody in my life.”

(11:30) - George’s terminal illness and finding unconditional love - “He told me right off the bat what was going on with him, that he could die at any moment. I was completely in love with him, it wasn't even a second thought to break up with him or to not pursue a relationship with him.”

(20:48) - Finding your own capacity to heal - “There's a black bag right there, and they're going to zip him up and take him away and I just go ‘I'm not really ready for you to take his body, but I guess if you don't, that kind of makes me liable to get into a Norman Bates situation here’. ”

(30:08) - Tawny and George’s podcast and how it evolved into Death is Hilarious - “If we hadn't shared so much I wouldn't have all of that recording to go back and visit. It reminds me it was real and it happened. He was real. What we had was real.”

(39:08) - Are you past it? Coping with people who don't show up for you - “So often people don't even bring it up now or they don't check on me because I'm making jokes about it, they see me getting jobs, they see me posting these episodes...”

(47:08) - Secondary loss and finding the right support system - “My girlfriends were able to do that. When I was in the mood to laugh, they crack jokes right alongside me, and when I was on the ground and I couldn't even make it to the couch they crawled down on the ground and just sat with me.”

About the show

Lisa Keefauver, founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. To learn more about the show and how Lisa Keefauver is reimagining grief, sign up for her not-so-regular newsletter, follow on Instagram and Twitter or visit www.lisakeefauver.com today!

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