In the 1st LWOE of 2013, Boehner tells Reid to go F himself. Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Fiscal Cliff dive is averted. Bieber caught smoking DRUGS. Possible peace in Afghanistan? ROCKET LAUNCHERS in Los Angeles! Al Roker says something super EMBARRASSING. Oompah Loompas ATTACK! Will Repubs hold the government HOSTAGE over the debt ceiling? We hear directly from elderly statesmen Simpson Bowles. Wikipedia's top global searches of 2012. Iran agrees to more NUCLEAR talks. Malala Yousafzai released from hospital! High ranking Syrian General defects while Assad offers ODD peace plan. Putin stops U.S. from adopting Russian babies. Zuckerberg's sister's PRIVACY issues. Government extends warrantless wiretapping. Norman Schwarzkopf passes away. China builds SUPER LONG rail line. Crazy French taxes. Al Queda targeting Arab countries? Will technology soon translate instantly? A teen mom WAXES her 3 YEAR OLD! Controversy surrounding Django Unchained. Morsi admits constitutional mistakes. Plus Pam Anderson's boobs, Brangelina's wedding, and Kate Winslet marries Rock N' Roll.