ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Sometimes we just need a little help. For instance, we recently bought some frogs and had to buy all of the things that go along with that: tank, filter, rocks, the actual frogs, etc. We didn’t know how to do it, so we sought the aid of the person at the pet store. That’s a good example. What if your issue was that you couldn’t help yourself from jizzing too quickly. Maybe, in that case, you would seek the assistance from this episode’s guest.

Jeff Abraham was a successful tech exec who decided that, in order to make a dent in the universe and the world a better place, he would need to help men from popping too quickly. So, after retiring from semi-conductors he went to work developing a spray for delay so that gentlemen could last longer and give them and their partners an opportunity to enjoy sex more.

It worked! Now Jeff is busier than when he was slinging silicon. We talk about developing this spray and why Jeff thought that such a necessity in world. We also talk about lifestyles and how he learned about diversity, why he is such an advocate for BLM, feminism, and smoking pot. If you think the CEO of your company is pretty lame, Jeff gives you hope that there are cool CEOs out there. It’s a great story.

This episode’s sketch: “Are They Experienced?!?”

For more episodes, information, and apply to be on the show, visit: http://sketchcomedypodcastshow.com

Sketch Comedy Podcast Show is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

© Copyright 2021 Stuart Rice

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MORE ABOUT THE GUEST

Jeff is the CEO of Promescent, a company who’s motto is “Better in Bed” and has the tools to help us achieve that. Focusing on making sure that their products are pleasurable, stress free, empowering, discreet, and safe, Promescent consults with doctors for advisory and review, and sex experts to make sure that these products work! 

Jeff’s focus is to make sure that sexual pleasure is universal for everyone, and has an extensive line of products has phenomenal selections for both women and men, making sure that everyone has a good time!

You can even get personal recommendations on the website!

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TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Stuart: in this episode, Jeff Abraham Ceo of Promescent, makers of a magic boner potion and I came up with a few sketches, semiconductor sales because that's what you did. But just kind of like a preface to everything that you do later on in your life. Just constantly using sexual innuendo In your sales pitches for semiconductors for getting to heaven and seeing 47 version virgins and just going and then asking if there's something else that you could get like 47 sandwiches or something the opposite. The exact opposite of promising to reveal too much. But I actually have the exact opposite issue. Let[00:00:47] Jeff Abraham: me tell you something that's really not an issue for your partner. It's more of an issue for you.[00:00:52] Stuart: That last one wasn't exactly an advertisement or was it? Which one of these did we pick? You'll find out on this episode of it's a sketch comedy podcast show. Welcome to sketch comedy podcast show. The one of a kind show where I Stuart rice invite interesting people to have intriguing conversations and then improvise a comedy sketch based on what we talked about. It's the only show like it on the internet. You know, sometimes we just need a little help. For instance, I recently had to buy some frogs for the family and we had to buy all the things that go along with that, you know, the tank, the filter, the rocks, the actual frogs, etcetera. We didn't know how to do it. So we sought the aid of the person at the pet store. That's a good example. What if your issue was that you couldn't help yourself from Gisin too quickly, Maybe in that case you would seek the assistance of this episode's guest, Jeff Abraham was a successful tech execs who decided that in order to make a dent in the universe and the world a better place, he would need to help men from popping too quickly. So after retiring from semiconductors, he went to work developing a spray for delay so that gentleman could last longer and give them and their partners an opportunity to enjoy sex. More. It worked. Now Jeff is busier than when he was slinging silicon. We talked about developing this spray and why Jeff thought that it was such a necessity for the world. We also talked about lifestyles and how he learned about diversity, which is why he's such an advocate for blm feminism and smoking pot. If you think the ceo of your company is pretty lame, Jeff gives you hope that there are some cool ceo? S out there, it's a pretty great story. And now my conversation with Jeff Abraham Ceo of promicin makers of a magic boner potion. Jeff, thanks so much for joining us. How are you doing[00:02:51] Jeff Abraham: pleasure? Excellent. I'm doing really well. It's a it's a pleasure to be on.[00:02:55] Stuart: It's a pleasure to have you on. I've got a quick question for[00:02:58] Jeff Abraham: you,[00:02:59] Stuart: what makes you interesting,[00:03:02] Jeff Abraham: What makes me interesting? I think the fact that I'm a 64 year old white ceo? That is a vicious supporter of Black Lives Matter. That is a vicious supporter of women's equality and rights that still openly freely admit that, you know, I love to get high and alcohol is not my Drug of choice. The fact that I'm the ceo of a sexual wellness company after a 30-year distinguished career as a semiconductor executive and retiring, which is the most circuitous route ever to becoming the ceo of a sexual wellness company that you could possibly ever take. And I decided to retire at 53 because I have lupus and diabetes and I had had good success and here I am working twice as hard as I did in my first career. You know, I'm multilayered, you know, like almost everybody remind you of someone else. People tell me there's no one that reminds me of you, you know what I mean? Like you obviously do not give a ship, you know what I mean? And I go, no, I don't. I really don't because to me life is about experiences and there are no mistakes if you learn from them, except if they're tragic and they kill you. That's obviously a mistake. You know what I mean? I told my son when he was growing up, you know, Really and truly embrace life. Live. It just don't make mistakes that aren't correctable. Like you go to jail for 10 years, you die, you know what I mean? Like those are mistakes that alter your life in a negative way forever. You know, but feel free to march to the beat of your own drummer, feel free to experience life and follow your instincts and you know, I learned that at an early age probably in my late twenties, early thirties. I wish I would have learned it earlier and I tried to tell my son as friends and other young friends that I have the sooner that you self actualize and get to the feeling you stop giving a shit about what other people think the happier you're gonna be.[00:04:56] Stuart: Yeah. Um, well that's a, you know, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right? That you've got to feel that safety first and I think that's, that's the part that a lot of people miss out on is the safety aspect because you can't get to that self actualization until, until you get past the safe.[00:05:11] Jeff Abraham: I actually love being on edge. Love to me, safety is the most overrated virtue in life. You know what I mean? Like you don't really get to experience a lot if you just cling to the safe. You know, I grew up really poor. We didn't have much And I remember that I had a reasonable job out of college. I was making 24 grand a year and this is 1979 had a company car, an expense account. Like my relatives thought I was warren Buffett, I quit about a one way ticket flew to California like, oh my God, I'm like, trust me, you know, there's more to life and within 10 years I have been extremely successful and I was making 100 and 70 grand a year and this was in 1989 company car expense of the whole thing and oh my God, you've made it. And I walked away and started my own company from scratch, Everyone's freaking out and then I retired and then came back to this. And you know, it's funny every time someone always asked me like, what is your contingency plan? I go, I don't have a fucking contingency plan, what do you mean? I go, if you have a contingency plan, you go, well, if things don't work out well this is my fallback position, this thing is shipped first time, that's just starts going bad. You turn around okay, should I pull the ripcord? No, no, no, no, no. You want to start something, put your heart and soul into it. The question is whether you're going to succeed, it's what it takes to succeed. You turn around instead of having a limb or you know what a contingency plan you saw it off behind you and you go, I'm in, okay, I will do whatever it takes to make this successful, That's always been my approach and fortunately for me it's worked. If it wouldn't have worked, I would have said should I should have had a continued, probably[00:06:52] Stuart: a little different different worldview.[00:06:55] Jeff Abraham: It's made it work so, you know, I'm gonna quit after this one just so I don't press my luck, you know what I mean? My whole life, I didn't need a contingency plan and if I fucking blow it then I'll go, you idiot. You got lucky the first three times. You know what I mean? So I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna push it after this. Let's[00:07:13] Stuart: talk about pushing it because you did talk about being a advocate for female rights, right? And it sounds like you're a big advocate for female rights in the bedroom because you came up with a, a thing that you guys might be very interested in correct?[00:07:31] Jeff Abraham: Yeah. Our first product was a male delay spray and it allowed men to extend their time, uh, to achieve climax. And so they were able to have a much longer duration of intercourse prior to ejaculating. And here's what I tell people. Like you always hear those jokes and, you know, memes about, you know, finishing before your partner finishing too quickly earlier premature ejaculation. If a man prematurely or early ejaculate, he still ejaculate. He still has a, you know, an orgasm. He gets to the promised land. The females on the other side going, excuse me, sailor. Okay, how about me? I'm over here? Okay, I mean, even though it only lasted 30 seconds or two minutes, you still, you know, got your just reward. What about me? And so women embraced our product as enthusiastically, if not more enthusiastically than men did. And there's another myth that it is very misplaced, that a lot of people think that a man who doesn't last long enough doesn't want to satisfy his partner, doesn't care about his partner, nothing could be further from the truth. Every man wants that feeling like I am taking care of my woman. It's an animalistic instinct. No matter what anyone tells you, they are lying. If they say they don't feel better after having quality orgasms, providing them for their partner as well. Okay, Every man wants to feel like William the conqueror, You know what I mean? Like I came, I saw I conquered, you know, every man, most of them don't do it, but some of them might still, after giving a woman a tremendous orgasm, wants to get out, stand up and beat his chest and go, how's that doing? You know what I mean? Like, it's just part of who we are. That's why there's so many people in the world, okay, It's a great feeling to procreate and, you know, to have sex and have orgasms. And I will tell you this, I think there'd be a lot less violence and road rage in the world and everything else, if more people were having consistent quality orgasms. I think there's a reason why people fly planes into buildings and suicide bombers, and there are always some religious clowns that fucking don't believe in premarital sex, you know what I mean? And think that by doing that they get 47 virgins, you know what I mean? Or whatever the number is, or 17 when they go to heaven. You know, personally, I've never really kind of bought into that. Okay, maybe give me one version after that kind of a little bit of experience. You know what I mean?[00:09:58] Stuart: Like, Yeah, I don't, I never understood that. I mean, basically you're gonna be in a, whatever, a room or a palace or wherever you end up, but they're gonna be with a bunch of people that are gonna look at it like in a scared manner and they're gonna be very[00:10:12] Jeff Abraham: sensitive if they have no experience, I'd be like, hey honey, a little less teeth, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? Like, and you know, I don't want to be like having a nickname of buster Hyman, you know what I mean? Like that's all I do. Like every single time, it's like, it's gonna be traumatic. Oh my God, you're gonna think about me forever. Because I remember when I was in college, there were a couple occasions where, you know, we got to the point where about to have sex in my partner at the time was like, oh, I've never been with some before. I'm like, okay, I don't think it's a good idea because you know, your first should be special. You're gonna remember it, you know what I mean? Like and this doesn't mean anything to me kind of thing. You know what I mean? So I'm not sure if someone said to me, you're gonna get a reward of 17 versions. I'd be like, how about 17 victoria's secret supermodels? You know what I mean? Like that would be a lot better because I'm assuming they have some experience and you know, might, you know, be able to teach me a few things. You know what I mean? Rather than me feeling like I'm a teacher, you know that kind of a thing. So[00:11:06] Stuart: I mean I guess the one aspect of that is sort of like, like you're talking about like I guess you get that uh that feeling of conquering something brand new, right? Like maybe that's the appeal. But I honestly I've I've never been with a virgin and[00:11:22] Jeff Abraham: I came here twice. I had the situation. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I think you need to find some little more into this. You know what I mean? Like yeah[00:11:32] Stuart: pump[00:11:32] Jeff Abraham: it's not my thing. Never have been, You know the idea of 17 in a row. I'd be like whoa okay, can we throw a pro in here? You know what I mean? Like just to break it up.[00:11:42] Stuart: But I mean maybe those guys are gonna be quick, right? So it's like two minutes[00:11:46] Jeff Abraham: good point. Yeah, if they've been saving up all these times, they'd be in and out, you know what I mean?[00:11:51] Stuart: Like eggs and those poor virgins, like that's their first experiences this like really rotten, just he's terrible,[00:12:00] Jeff Abraham: you know, come to think of it, you're right, you're going to get you know the guy that flew the plane into the World Trade Center, you know what I mean? Who's supposedly never had sex, you know? And he's gonna be your initiation. Oh[00:12:13] Stuart: that's I mean it's heaven for them to write like that's that's their version of heaven, like Yeah,[00:12:19] Jeff Abraham: that's my version of Hill, you know what I[00:12:21] Stuart: mean? Yeah, exactly.[00:12:22] Jeff Abraham: Seriously, we want someone in that relationship having a proof of purchase, you know what I mean? Somebody somebody in there having a just a little bit of street cred, you know what I mean? Like? Yeah, I've been around at least halfway around the block once before, you know, maybe not all the way around but halfway.[00:12:36] Stuart: Right. Right, so now you came up with this formula, right? You came up with this stuff that or you know,[00:12:43] Jeff Abraham: I was in the early formulation of the product. It was actually my good friend, my next door neighbor and my doctor who was the urologist who developed the product. Dr Ronald Gilbert who was a urologist at Hope Hospital in Newport Beach. So he's the one who was the real genius behind the product and I was the business mind that made it successful. But the idea of me actually formulating something Not likely not 25 more the next. Now if I did that, maybe I could ask for 17 Victoria's secret supermodels. It would be such an accomplishment for me to have the scientific mind to do that. You know, it would be a real long shot but I'll give it a go if that was waiting for me at the end, you know?[00:13:28] Stuart: Yeah,[00:13:30] Jeff Abraham: yeah. You know one of those charts with the whatever those things are, the formulas on the back of all the elements and everything. As a matter of fact, if truth be told, you, give me one, give me, you know, uh, what's her name? Olivia culpo or you know what I mean? Like just uh, you know, throw in alexandria ambrosia, just one of them will work, you know what I mean? And I'll go right to work.[00:13:53] Stuart: Right, Right,[00:13:54] Jeff Abraham: right.[00:13:56] Stuart: Yeah, I mean money's nice, but let's face it, what are we using the money for? That's what I'm saying.[00:14:03] Jeff Abraham: A friend of mine had this conversation, this was about a year ago and we started really, really breaking down what in your life isn't really either directly or loosely affiliated with you getting either women or men higher quality partners. Okay, If you really think about it, Obviously the more money you accumulate, the more power you accumulate your dating options become much stronger. That's just a fact and anyone who says that's not true, is full of ship. That's a fact. Okay. People go to the gym and they're like, I just love the fact that it makes me feel better about myself bullshit. Okay, If that's the case, you'd be probably climbing a mountain somewhere, you know what I mean? Instead of going to a gym and prancing around, making sure you had your finest lululemon on both men and women. Okay. Seriously? Okay. You know, getting facials, getting your haircut, getting your beard trimmed. Everything is always about making yourself really as palatable, as attractive as you can to the opposite sex or the same sex depending upon your orientation. And to be honest with you, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Why do we have to deny that and pretend that that's really not the motive behind because the ability to be with someone, not just from a sexual standpoint, everybody wants to have someone special, everybody wants to feel loved, everybody wants to feel connected. Okay. And a lot of what we do is directly attributable to increasing our options to finding that person or if you have that person keeping that person[00:15:51] Stuart: Oh yeah. So I, lately, my girlfriend's been going to the gym right all of a sudden I was like, wait a second, I'm not going to the gym. So I bought a kettlebell and now like at home while I watch youtube videos in the morning, that's what I'm doing is[00:16:07] Jeff Abraham: dumping it out. You're going just in case he's in the gym and goes, you know, this guy is almost as funny, you know, a good guy, but he's got a little more toned. You're going wait a second.[00:16:17] Stuart: Yeah, better,[00:16:18] Jeff Abraham: better, better[00:16:19] Stuart: at at least an inch to the, to the arms or something, right?[00:16:23] Jeff Abraham: Yeah, yeah,[00:16:25] Stuart: Yeah. No, that's 100% true. I, I actually agree with you and I actually also agree with you on, you know, I think it's, I I wish we sex work and all those types of things like those are important things. I wish we could integrate into our society in a safe manner.[00:16:41] Jeff Abraham: There were certain things, if there's one thing that prohibition taught us, you can't legislate morality, all you do is drive it underground and that's why this whole bullshit in texas, We're outlawing abortion, fuck you and the horse. You rode in on your in texas. So you're probably on a horse, you know what I mean? Because you're not ending abortion. Okay, what you're doing is forcing people to go to a back alley or some unauthorized clinic and you're making it more dangerous to get abortion. Okay. The idea that weed was outlawed until it's still outlawed in some states, but what is it? 20 states now? Are you fucking kidding me? Okay. The idea of weed being dangerous, but alcohol not being dangerous is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life, I've been high 3000 times in my life, okay, there are three things that I like to do if I'm high, listen to music, have a sandwich or make love to whoever I'm dating or you know whatever, okay, none of those three things are going well, I was gonna say none of those three things are bad, but you better talk to whoever I'm dating, I know two of them aren't bad. Maybe maybe who are my partners? Go, well, the ones marginal I put up with it okay, but those things aren't violent, they're not dangerous, at least to me, you know what I mean? But when you drink you tend to get loud argumentative, you get into arguments, you get into fights, you're dancing around in the club with a lampshade on your head. God forbid you get behind the wheel, you know what I mean? And you're driving swerving at all, I'm fine. It loosens inhibitions. If you ever get behind the wheel and you're high, you're driving four miles an hour. You put on your turn signal 20 minutes before you turn. If you hit something, you won't even dent it, you're only going four miles an hour. The car just stops, you know what I mean? I've never been in a fight when I was high. If someone like started like, you know, squaring up on me and go dude, have a sandwich here, listen to music and make it up to your girlfriend if that doesn't work here, make love to mind. I'm not in the mood to fight, you know what I mean? Like whatever so I can just sit here and enjoy my buzz, you know what I mean? Like let's not, let's not really get physical here, you know what I mean? And so I never understood that and I remember when I lived in California before I moved here, it was like, well they made it for medical reasons. Fuck you okay. Yeah. So right next to every weed shop, there was a doctor's office. You go in there and go tell me you have a migraine, okay, have a migraine. Okay, here's your[00:19:04] Stuart: prescription. Really?[00:19:06] Jeff Abraham: Okay. Are we in that stage that we have to have an excuse? I mean it's ridiculous. Okay, weed is less dangerous than alcohol in many respects now. The fact that you can Vape it or have a gummy or whatever, it doesn't even ruin your lungs. Okay, so it's even more, you know like safe. So I never quite understood that that whole circle. Plus[00:19:30] Stuart: Jeff, have you ever met anybody who was like, you know, I would smoke the reefer, but the law says no one that I've never met that person that was like, oh, you know, I'd be really into it. But you know the law?[00:19:44] Jeff Abraham: The law. Yeah, I would really like to, you know, hit up the Vape right now, but I'm not sure it's legal in this county.[00:19:52] Stuart: Yeah,[00:19:53] Jeff Abraham: I hit the Vape first without any question. And I don't give a ship, okay? Whatever the fine is ill, you know, whatever, you know?[00:20:00] Stuart: But, but it's interesting you brought up the, with with the abortion because I actually have, um, friends that will travel to states where abortion is less like texas or like anyplace else texas just more recently because it's they just did that crazy thing with six weeks. But they break the law. They will go into the state and their doctors that, but they'll clandestinely set up shop, take care of as many as they can, and then exit stage left.[00:20:34] Jeff Abraham: Well, they need to because, you know, here's the thing, the same morons that passed that law, the right to lifers that vote against you subsidized childcare, that vote against, you know, aid to families with dependent Children. And they're literally,[00:20:49] Stuart: and vote for uh, capital promise, man.[00:20:52] Jeff Abraham: Yeah, It's like, I guess it's all the timing, You know what I mean? It's like, you know, you can't kill them before they're born, but you can certainly kill them after, you know what I mean? It's like, wait, what? But they're also the same Jackasses that don't want fucking, you know, publicly funded contraception, You know what I mean? And they don't want sex tons. Wait a second, Take the same energy you're putting into fighting abortions into educating people. So we don't need as many abortions, okay If we made sure that everyone had Uh contraceptions, that'd be far fewer voice. You know, abortions. If we literally educated people on sex and told women it's not a sin to be enjoy sex. It's not a sin to be promiscuous. Like men are because I've been in situations in my life now. I'm 64 when I was younger that I'm sure they're still exists. And a lot of women feel if I plan for sex and I know I'm gonna have it, then that means I'm totally down with it. According to my religion, it's a sin. But if it happens spontaneously, like it was out of control. I don't feel as guilty. Fuck that. Okay, use proper protection. So you don't get diseases so you don't get unwanted pregnancies. Okay, let's stop pretending that sex is a religious experience. Or it's some, you know, satanic ritual or something? It's a bodily function. Just like eating and urinating and it is a you get an urge if you're a woman, your clitoris, you know, gets aroused and you moisturize if you're a man, you get an erection, okay, they do that for a reason. So the species will continue and we procreate, but it also creates opportunities for orgasm, which makes people feel good, They're going to do it. Remember that you're probably too young. The nancy Reagan thing, just say no to sex.[00:22:38] Stuart: I[00:22:39] Jeff Abraham: got news for you. I was 16 once, 48 years ago. Okay. When I got an erection, there was one thing I would say, okay, what, who can I use this on? You know what I mean? It was like the idea of saying no, the little head was speaking the big head, just listen. Okay, let's find a way to make this feel good. Okay. The idea of just say no is the most asinine thing. Then I read something that you know, a lot of these places like Utah where they preach abstinence where anal sex and everything is out of control. Now they're going well technically wait since when is that different? Or I'm like, are you kidding me? Okay. I'm like, so having anal sex is okay. You know, I guess if you want your, your claim to still be a virgin because you know, I'm like, wow, okay, that's unique to me.[00:23:32] Stuart: Yeah. Yeah. I mean that's again, that's a worldview. I don't, it does not make any sense. And I don't know why we, why we tend to, I mean I get religion but like why is that such a, what what brought that about? What brought about, why was sex? Why were things seen as a bad thing?[00:23:53] Jeff Abraham: I can't figure it out. I remember in uh, I think it was 2007 or 2008 right? When the AIDS epidemic was still really prevalent? The pope was in Africa telling people that using condoms was against the Catholic religion, they weren't being good Catholics by using condoms, I lost my mind. So I made this post on social media and I said, why the Fucky is the pope over here in a country where 22% of the people at the time had AIDS telling people not to use condoms from, you know, during sex, I said he needs to look at his own flock in his own congregation and understand why they were dresses and pointy hats and they're all fingering altar boys. Okay? Rather than, you know, cast shame on people trying to practice same sex needless to say I lost a few catholic friends over that, but I didn't give a ship. Okay. Because to me it was the truth. Okay. If if something is true and it upsets you, you need to examine why the truth upset you or why the truth makes you unhappy or sad you really do Okay. Now, if someone saying something that is unfounded, it's not true, but it was true. The Pope was in africa telling people not to use condoms when AIDS was rampant in africa, the idea that the catholic church had a insane amount of pedophilia was established fact. Okay, that wasn't, I mean, the archdiocese in southern California, not in the nation in southern California paid $555 million in settlements. Okay, what does that tell you if one small diocese Is on the hook for 500 million. First thing it tells me is that's not a church, that's a business. If one diocese can pay $550 million, how are they tax exempt? Okay.[00:25:54] Stuart: How[00:25:55] Jeff Abraham: prevalent is the issue[00:25:57] Stuart: when[00:25:58] Jeff Abraham: literally one area goes, yeah, we have liability of half a billion dollars. And then you read about how when they found out that certain priests were pedophiles, they let them continue to be preaching, just transfer them into another district. I'm like, can you imagine if that would have been, you know, the boy scouts or A Y. S. O. U soccer or pop Warner football, they'd all be in jail and they would have stripped and broken up the organization. But you know, because it's religion, people like, oh, I don't want to take that on, you know what I mean? We need to take on injustice wherever it's at and clean it up. I'm not saying the catholic church had to go away, but they had to own it. Okay. And we had to make sure it could never happen again ever because is there any situation that you ever put more faith in when you take your child to a church and go, the priest is your conduit to God. You do whatever he tells you to do, talk about putting kids in a vulnerable position.[00:26:58] Stuart: Yeah. You know, I, there's a, I have a couple of thoughts, I mean, number one, I totally agree with you is with that and knowing that they could pay $550 million, like, what is, what's going on with the tax exempt status, that's[00:27:11] Jeff Abraham: the southern California diocese, that's not the United States. Okay,[00:27:15] Stuart: right. And then the other thing I'm thinking of is, God dammit, why wasn't a catholic kid? Because man, I would have been set[00:27:23] Jeff Abraham: um[00:27:24] Stuart: no, I mean, but this is your attitude on all of this stuff really kind of comes out and probably most recently with the BLM movement, right? What, what tell us about your BLM, like what's your experience with it and what's your, what's your stance?[00:27:41] Jeff Abraham: I grew up in an area that was 80% white and 20% black. I grew up in a little rural coal mining town in southwestern Pennsylvania, south of Pittsburgh, near the Ohio West Virginia Pennsylvania border. And when I was in high school, the 20% of black kids kept themselves, They lived in their own area. The 80% of white kids kept themselves, they lived in their own area and there was absolute mistrust, you know what I mean? And it was like, you keep to your side, well, I never understood that, I'm like, they're human beings, they're just like us, they happen to have, you know, a little darker complexion and I was the person that always made friends with, you know, people and at first a lot of people in the black community where I live, we're like, what's this guy's motive and eventually they were like, he doesn't have a motive. He's he he's not judging anyone, you know, I just felt like why would want to close myself off to 20% of people and we didn't have Asian people, we didn't have Hispanic people, we didn't have anything other than white people and black people. And I thought we're all people, we're all the same. We're all 18, 17, 16, 15 year old kids. Why in the hell are we keeping to ourselves? You know, that kind of a thing? And then after I graduated, I moved to southern California. It was a virtual melting pot. Okay. I mean, there's no majority of anything when you're in southern California. It is, I mean I lived in Huntington Beach and I really enjoyed that. I enjoyed not only interacting with a lot of people, but I also enjoyed different cultures, different foods learning and whenever I meet someone that wasn't born here, I always asked him, would you think of this country before you came here, then what's better, what's worse than you thought of now that you're here? You know, I'm just always curious, but I've always been maintained a lot of black friends, even in my work environment and I'm a father, I have a 32 year old son and he is my world, I adore him. Okay, I'd give my life for him, I don't want to, I hope I never have to, I'm not suggesting it, but if ever came down to it, I would and I have never ever had to worry when he went out at night about him being arrested, beaten or possibly murdered because of the color of his skin. And I can only imagine I know how much I love my son and I know what I feel like if he was unfairly treated so being a human being, I know friends of mine that are black that have Children, I go, I can't fathom what that feeling would be like. And I know that I've been in situations where I've heard the n word used by people that you know, you'd never, in a million years think that they were prejudiced, you'd never think that, but they don't hesitate, you know what I mean? And when I took my son back to pennsylvania a lot of times when he was young would be watching you know sporting events and you know, he'd hear some people there, oh look at that n word, you know, I remember my son was like whoa. And we were flying back to pennsylvania, he was like six, he goes dad because he wasn't raised in that kind of environment, you know what I mean? He's like, what is it? I said nick, they're not bad people, they're just ignorant, okay, they have never taken the time to interact with people of any other race or ethnicity or that kind of a thing. So that leads to preconceived notions that anything different is negative, you know, and the one thing my life has taught me and I tell people this, anyone who knows me well will definitely, you know, assure you this is the case. I consider myself an equal opportunity abuser, I make fun of everybody, you know what I mean, because life is too short to take yourself too seriously. And if there's one thing my life has taught me that there are just as many good percentage wise people that are white, black asian indian, you know, latino and there are just as many assholes. In fact, there's a lot more assholes that are white in my experience because there's a lot more entitlement, like we deserve this and I feel that a lot of times immigrants feel like they have to earn things that white people feel like they are just given because they were born here, you know, that kind of thing. I remember when I first moved to California, they had this real popular license plate frame and said welcome to California now go home, okay. It was everywhere in California and you know, I've never been shy and I told people like, you know why most people out here have that because they can't compete with people like me that moved from pennsylvania and are so appreciative of not having zero degree 20 below weather in the winter and not having 95 degrees with 92% humidity in the summer. So when I went there I worked my ass off and I remember I got three promotions in my first job in two years and I went to my second job then I ended up owning a company in seven or eight years and it was because I was like, are you freaking kidding me to stay here, I'll do whatever in California, that's why they had that well in California now go home because everyone come in there with this work ethic, you know what I mean? And go, this is like a dream. I moved their March 13th in 2000 and excuse me in 1992. I remember that because my dad's birthday was the day before I wanted to spend his birthday. I flew there, I left pennsylvania was three below zero and it was sleeting outside. Okay. I literally went to take a piss on the airplane. I had like four flies. I had my long underwear, sweatpants, jeans, you know what I mean? Snows. I remember as we flew and I was really poor and I bought a one way ticket to fly there. So we flew from Pittsburgh to Cincinnati from Cincinnati to Detroit from Detroit to Chicago. I went wait, we're going the wrong way, you know what I mean? It took like six stops to get there that there and I remember my friend picked me up at the airport and we're driving And this was in 1982. So the old style bank, they had those little things that would turn its at Sumitomo bank on one side. It had the temperature on the other side. It had the time. I'll never forget this. He said 12 03 am. It turned around 73 degrees and I'll never forget. I went, did I just fly into a time warp or another universe? I left. It was you know, below zero, it's funding midnight it's 73 degrees. I woke up the next day it was like 58 or whatever. I remember there were people with down jackets, Ugg boots on. I'm in shorts and a tank top. I'm like oh my God it's summer. You know? And I remember thinking I'm never leaving. Okay. How in the world why why does anyone live back there when this is available?[00:33:55] Stuart: I know growing up I grew up in California, I had no idea. I would see pictures of buffalo and like if the football game was on and they played in Buffalo, I'd be[00:34:05] Jeff Abraham: like I don't[00:34:06] Stuart: why do people live there[00:34:08] Jeff Abraham: after? Well I[00:34:09] Stuart: remember one of the reasons[00:34:11] Jeff Abraham: I moved. I remember watching every year I watched the Rose bowl. Okay january fucking below zero. Okay. And it's sleeting and snowing and everyone's in fucking parker's. All you do is run to the car run. I'm watching Rose bowl. Here's the USC song girls freaking gorgeous and their little skirts and the U. C. L. A cheerleader's it's sunny, it's 70 degrees. I'm like, where is that? Okay? I was like, why am I not there? So the first chance I had the ability to graduate college and move, I was like, get me out of here and I moved to California.[00:34:45] Stuart: Yeah, my dad did the same thing. He was back in pennsylvania and he got a chance to come out to California and he was like, oh yeah, no this is silly, I'm going to be here. Uh he was he was in your Philly.[00:34:57] Jeff Abraham: Okay,[00:34:58] Stuart: so[00:34:59] Jeff Abraham: opposite side of the state, that's a little bit, it's a little more wealth on the other side, Philly has a little, it's a little more upscale than Pittsburgh, but although Pittsburgh now when I left it was kind of downtrodden but it's not coal and steel anymore, It's you know, buy a farm, you know what I mean? Software Pittsburgh's made a real resurgence.[00:35:20] Stuart: Alright, well it has been about a half, well it's been a little over a half hour, it's been delightful[00:35:25] Jeff Abraham: because I'm just sitting here bullshit with a friend of mine, you know what I mean?[00:35:28] Stuart: I know it's kind of a[00:35:29] Jeff Abraham: wonderful way to have a podcast.[00:35:31] Stuart: So um now we've got to come up with a sketch, truth be told I would drop everything and move to Vegas and work for Jeff if he asked because I love what his company is doing. He's a great dude and I think it would be just a blast. Um Maybe you just want to check out the things that promise it has. And I tell you what you should definitely go to the website. It is one of the best sexual health websites I've ever seen. It's welcoming. It is professional and you can tell that there is care and uh knowledge put behind it. So uh Jeff tell us where you can find more stuff out about promising. We[00:36:17] Jeff Abraham: have a website, the link, it's www dot promising dot com. We talked about the mail delay spray but we have loops, we have condoms, we have vital flux which is nitric oxide supplement. We have pe wipes before and after wipes. We have female arousal gel, we have vibrators, we have toys. And I always tell people because we're in target with our delay spray. We're in walmart without delay spray, full product line and G. N. C. But I always tell people go to the site first. Okay because you're gonna find clinical trials, you're gonna find instructional videos. Number one, you'll find out which products work for you for for the right reasons. Number two, you'll find out the proper way to use them to get the best experience. And then if you decide that you want them from us, there's no free shipping full 60 day money back guarantee. So we shipped seven days a week.[00:37:09] Stuart: So go to prom essence dot com. The link is in the show notes and check out what they've got. It's pretty amazing. And now our sketch are they experienced in three two? Right? I[00:37:31] Jeff Abraham: would say I'm glad to see you. But I'm sure that you're not here under optimum circumstances. I witnessed the last you know, three months of your life. The cancer was really bad. I know it was hard. You know what I mean? And you know, you took your pledge to Allah and you flew the plane into the building and here you are. Okay. But you did not come here in vain. I have[00:37:54] Stuart: Well this is such good news. I'm very excited.[00:37:58] Jeff Abraham: You deserve[00:37:59] Stuart: plane. That plane was very hot when we ran[00:38:02] Jeff Abraham: Our praise be Allah okay. We are here. Okay. I have a room set up for you. Okay? The finest meats and cheeses. I have 47.[00:38:15] Stuart: I'm allowed to eat meat here.[00:38:17] Jeff Abraham: Yes. That's one of the advantages of coming to heaven.[00:38:23] Stuart: The[00:38:25] Jeff Abraham: Sacrifices that you made. Now you're going to be rewarded. Not only that. I have 47 women for you lined up certified 40[00:38:36] Stuart: seven[00:38:37] Jeff Abraham: Women. Never, never, no infidel. No one has ever touched these women. They are in fact everyone.[00:38:46] Stuart: Wait, did you just say that that what what do you mean by that?[00:38:51] Jeff Abraham: They are intact. The the sheath. The Hyneman still there. They are certified versions each one. And just because it's you and you are heroic. You don't have to keep the burqa all the way on. You can lift it up and crawl underneath. You know, they still have to remain covered. We still want to adhere to Sharia law. But you will be allowed to crawl inside the burka to perform.[00:39:17] Stuart: But they, they don't know what they're doing.[00:39:20] Jeff Abraham: Uh No, but I'm sure that their instincts will take over[00:39:27] Stuart: is[00:39:27] Jeff Abraham: just not acceptable to you.[00:39:29] Stuart: Uh Well, the problem is is I did follow the laws very closely. And so I also have never had relations with they anybody. Oh, including myself. I don't really know what.[00:39:47] Jeff Abraham: So you've never even pleasured yourself.[00:39:50] Stuart: No, I figured that's how I got here is I I never did any of the things that some of my friends did then they told me about them and I was always telling them how dangerous that[00:40:02] Jeff Abraham: Even though we say that and even though you see the surveys that they say that you know, 90% of people maintained their chastity. Especially men. We believe that 89% of them were lying. So you are one of the pure 1% who never,[00:40:19] Stuart: never[00:40:20] Jeff Abraham: broke down.[00:40:22] Stuart: Oh, I wasted my entire life.[00:40:26] Jeff Abraham: We just assumed that most people thought that that was the rule that we didn't enforce.[00:40:30] Stuart: Oh,[00:40:31] Jeff Abraham: now, have you ever[00:40:33] Stuart: know, have[00:40:34] Jeff Abraham: you ever watched uh the video movies? The pornography.[00:40:39] Stuart: No, no, I I've never done any of it. I I basically, I, we wear robes, I hide it. I've got a trapper keeper that I keep all of my Iowa notes in that I put in front of me. If I have an issue. I I've[00:40:53] Jeff Abraham: never helped. Did you have a cell phone[00:40:56] Stuart: only to take instructions on how to fly the planes? I[00:41:00] Jeff Abraham: didn't know. You know, you will be very pleased when you see the women. Maybe instinct will take over when you see these beautiful women that even without prior experience, I think they call it on earth autopilot.[00:41:15] Stuart: Okay, let's let's go take a look. Maybe. Maybe you're right. I think I just realized something. I think I'm gay. Thank you so much for joining us for sketch comedy podcast show. We hope you enjoyed listening to it as much as we enjoyed making it, make sure to head over to sketch comedy podcast show dot com there. You can subscribe to the show, Head over to Youtube and watch some of the videos and sketches we've done there. Maybe head over to Patreon and become a patron to the show. That would be so much appreciated or you can leave a review someplace or if you're feeling really saucy Apply to be on the show. I appreciate every single one of you that listens to the show and I would love to hear more from you. Now. I've got to get this out of the way, sketch comedy podcast show is protected under a creative commons attribution no derivatives, 4.0 international license, which means that if you would like to reproduce anything in the show, please contact the show so that I can get you the right material for it. And also this show is copyright 2022 Stewart Rice. Every day we are given a choice. Can we do the funny thing or the not so funny thing? I'm going to urge you to do the funny thing today and create an improvised comedy adventure of your own. Take care. See you next episode.