When a loved one dies, the world can become chaos. Everything has changed. The way you drive a car, the way food tastes, the way you even talk to people can feel different and wrong and weird. It feels like you are - for lack of a better term - going crazy. How far apart are grief and mental illness? The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), the standard reference for mental illness, says that if you’re still messed up from grief six months after the death of your person, you have something called Prolonged Grief Disorder.

For Megan Devine, an author and psychotherapist who specializes in grief, the sudden loss of her partner Matt meant being at the grocery store and temporarily forgetting how money worked. But she says that’s not a problem. That’s a truthful response to a horrifying event. That’s just being horrified.

Megan rejects the idea that being upset for as long as you need to be is a problem. She advocates recognizing the personal truth and reality of what’s going on inside yourself. 

Megan’s website Refuge in Grief - https://refugeingrief.com/

Our previous episode with Stephanie Wittels Wachs, which gets referenced a lot - https://maximumfun.org/episodes/depresh-mode/stephanie-wittels-wachs-and-the-pain-and-frustration-of-watching-addiction-happen/

Get your copy of Megan's books, How to Carry What Can't be Fixed: A Journal for Grief and It's OK That You're Not OK here or wherever books are sold. Follow Megan on Twitter @refugeingrief and on Instagram @refugeingrief.

Thank you to all our listeners who support the show as monthly members of Maximum Fun. 

Hey, remember, you’re part of Depresh Mode and we want to hear what you want to hear about. What guests and issues would you like to have covered in a future episode? Write us at depreshmode@maximumfun.org.

Help is available right away.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255, 1-800-273-TALK

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.

International suicide hotline numbers available here: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

The Depresh Mode newsletter is available twice a week. Subscribe for free and stay up to date on the show and mental health issues. https://johnmoe.substack.com/

John's acclaimed memoir, The Hilarious World of Depression, is available here. https://read.macmillan.com/lp/the-hilarious-world-of-depression/

Find the show on Twitter @depreshpod and Instagram @depreshpod.

John is on Twitter @johnmoe.