Link Keller 0:12Welcome to GT radio on the Geek Therapy network, where we believe that we are people who consume media and want to talk about it and understand each other better. Man, I started out really strong there and then panicked. Okay, all right, hold on. Okay. Welcome to GT radio on the Geek Therapy network here at Geek Therapy. We believe that you can better understand yourself and the people you care about through the media that you care about. Still not great. You know what, it’s fine. We’re gonna keep going. This week is marc’s topic, and I’m joined by Marc and Lara.

Marc Cuiriz 1:04Hello,

Lara Taylor 1:05hello.

Link Keller 1:07Take it away, Marc

Marc Cuiriz 1:08That was very sudden. And for the record, this is all staying in the episode.

Link Keller 1:12Oh, god

Lara Taylor 1:12absolutely.

Marc Cuiriz 1:14Yeah, this is 100%

Link Keller 1:14I really thought I was gonna have it and I am sweating! oh my god.

Lara Taylor 1:20If only Josué was here to see it.

Link Keller 1:24Maybe I’m gonna blame it. I’m gonna I’m gonna blame it on that.

Marc Cuiriz 1:27And you know, wouldn’t be a GT episode. If Link wasn’t sweating.

Link Keller 1:31Honestly, true. That’s true.

Marc Cuiriz 1:33So yes. So in this, this episode, or this week, I really wanted to talk about kind of like, the idea of reclaiming your childhood, a little bit as an adult. And also, I just really wanted to talk about my recent trip to Disney, because that’s where I went for my honeymoon.

Link Keller 1:50Yay, Disney.

Marc Cuiriz 1:52Yeah. So to kind of like kick into kickstart this episode. What I mean by like, reclaiming your childhood is sort of like being able to do things or experience things that like, are typically associated with childhood things like, like going to amusement parks and things like that, like that’s something that like you do as adults, but like, it’s really like cherished as a child or something like Disney in and of itself, like Disney movies are very cherished, like they’re their childhood movies for, you know, a lot of people. And for some people, like, that’s something that they don’t always necessarily get to experience, or that experience becomes tainted in some way, shape, or form, whether that’s, you know, through, you know, things going on at home, or someone just being able to severely distort the memory of something that was once good. And then as an adult, you go back to it, and you sort of retake it for yourself, and you are basically overriding that sort of memory with something good. So like, for me, I never got the chance to go to Disney. This is my very first time ever going to Disney. And, you know, for someone like Lara, who is a Disney child,

Lara Taylor 3:09I am so shocked Marc

Marc Cuiriz 3:11I know, right? Just I, you know, Call it a hunch that you just happen to be going to Disney for many, many years. But for me, like that’s something I never got something I never was able to experience as a child. Really, because it just was not feasible for my family. Like, you know, I went to amusement parks like, like here in Illinois there Six Flags, or I went to Cedar Point in, in Ohio, like those were things that I was still able to do. So it’s not like I was fully robbed of that. But like that Disney experience. And so going to Disney and seeing all these rides of like, it’s a small world or like the Peter Pan’s Flight or Space Mountain like things that like I heard about all the time growing up, but never experiencing and now experiencing it as an adult. Like, it felt good. And also kind of felt like it felt bittersweet to a small extent. Like it was like, Oh, this is really cool. I’m so glad to get to experience this now. I just wish I could see it felt this when I was a kid though. Like, you know, like, I’m sure like, I don’t have you guys have had anything like that, like things that you’ve missed out on as a kid that you experienced as an adult.

Lara Taylor 4:32Trying to think of an example that but Marc, I want to know if you got your first visit button.

Marc Cuiriz 4:37I did and I got my happily ever after button.

Lara Taylor 4:41Good. Good. Both very important.

Marc Cuiriz 4:44They are very, very important.

Lara Taylor 4:45I don’t know, I’ll have to keep thinking and see if I can come up with something I don’t think I ever left my childhood behind. I think I’m a person who thinks that children’s things are not just for children. And we can keep doing them whenever we want. But it does remind me of the fact that the reason that I am such a Disney child and went to Disneyland all the time, is because my mom was 10, when Disneyland opened

Lara Taylor 5:17, and her father promised her, that he would take her, and he never did. So the first time she got to go to Disneyland was when she was like, first got together with my dad. And so she got to reclaim her childhood, which was a crappy childhood, and get to go to Disneyland. And she wanted her kids to be able to experience that all the time. Way to break that intergenerational trauma and take your kids to the happiest place on earth over and over and over. And now my kids are going to be forced to go over and over and over. But yeah, so your experience is not like a solo journey. Other people have gone through that, too.

Marc Cuiriz 6:05Yeah, I definitely feel like I never really kind of felt like alone in that sort of aspect of things. But it is like, and I’m also the kind of person that like, I feel like I’ve never officially grown up like I am still very much a child. off to my left here, I have all my silly little knickknacks, I got my, you know, stuffed Kirby and everything like I am,

Lara Taylor 6:25that doesn’t mean you’re a child.

Marc Cuiriz 6:27But like, I 100% still engage in imaginative play when I’m home alone. Like, there’s no no shame in that for me. So like, I’m definitely in that boat. And I understand, like, I’m not alone, it’s just, I don’t know, like, I don’t know, if anybody would have like, sort of like the same experience that I did have, like, this bittersweet feeling of this is really awesome, I really love and I’m enjoying being here, and I’m totally geeking out and having the best time and at the same time, it’s like, you know, I could have had this as a child, if circumstances were just a little different, you know, like, I didn’t grow up in the best of homes, I definitely would say that I did have more of, you know, opportunities and privileges than most kids. But I’m also I think it’s because, like, for me, I started off relatively well off like in, you know, mid, like middle class. And then I, when I was like 10, or 11, I witnessed it all get taken away from me, like, I then dropped to lower lower class basically, just really, really struggling and getting to a point where I didn’t even know when, when I was going to eat next. So like to have, like, have those things and then suddenly lose that ability, and then have to essentially grow up. You know, way too soon about it and losing those experiences. I think that’s kind of like where I’m at in terms of like, things like that. So like, like going to universal or going to Disney or, like medieval times like that was like those are like things that like are cherished or something that’s like more like that are more geared towards children. And at the same time, it’s like experiencing them as an adult is definitely a lot different. Like obviously like going to Epcot. Fantastic because I can engage in all of the things.

Lara Taylor 8:25Kids get bored at Epcot.

Marc Cuiriz 8:28exactly. But like, in terms of like the other parks like magic kingdom, like I thought Magic Kingdom was going to be so much. I had a very different image of what magic kingdom was going to be like for me. And then being there. It was like, Oh, this is really cool. But I also see like, a lot of this is geared towards small children. And so there isn’t necessarily a whole lot that I would like to see or like to do or, you know, the rides to go on this, that and the other. So it’s like out, like, if I was like, if I was younger, this would be so cool. As an adult. There are some parts of it. That’s really cool. And other parts. It’s like, okay, I still really see this is still for kids. So like, I don’t necessarily feel as like, oh, I have to do that. Even though so many people might suggest it like I don’t really feel like it because I’m now standing in line for 75 minutes with you 7, 8, 9 year olds. So I dunno

Lara Taylor 9:29I am the one standing in the line for 75 minutes with the 7, 8, 9 year olds because, I don’t care, you know, but I do get that like coming to it from a different perspective that like you, you feel like you missed out on the joy of doing that as a kid. I remember when I was a kid, there were a lot of things that were not joyful for me at Disneyland I went on the Matterhorn, which is only in Disneyland. after, I would not go on Thunder Mountain and my parents left me on the rock out front times have changed. They stood in line for an hour and a half for that ride. And the next day I was like, I’m gonna be brave. I’m gonna go on this ride. I was like, eight or nine and the second the ride started moving. I was screaming terrified would not look crying did not want to be on the ride. So kind of the opposite. Child was like on. It’s a kids ride. Like it really is the shortest people the shortest. You must be this whole thing. But I did not. I didn’t go on that ride until I was, again until I was 22. I think just because of the way rides closed and refurbishment and everything. I guess in that way, I kind of reclaimed my childhood and got to go on that ride and prove I could do it. Like 15 years later. Yeah. I don’t know. It’s I love hearing different people’s perspectives of Disney and how they come to things in this way.

Marc Cuiriz 11:16Yeah, yeah. What say you link?

Link Keller 11:21It’s actually pretty funny. I feel like we’re covering a lot of demographics here because I went to Disneyland only as a kid. I went when I was five, and then again at like 10 or 11. And then again at 16. And becoming an adult Disney became inaccessible to me, because I didn’t have the money to travel or to do anything in the park that I would have wanted to do. So I’ve not been as an adult. So this is, this is fun. We’re covering all of our bases here. I guess we need somebody who’s never been to Disney ever. Then we to truly encompass all of the experiences. But I’m, I’m trying to think of an example of something that I wanted as a kid and didn’t get and then did get as an adult. The only thing that’s coming to mind so far was when I was a kid. We were not allowed to have a video game console. But we did have a PC and we had PC games. And when I was probably seven or eight I got a Gameboy so it’s like I had a handheld console. So it’s like, while I didn’t ever have the PS1 PS2 Xbox experiences until after graduating high school when I got my first job at GameStop. And I spent my whole first paycheck on consoles. I did not have that as kid but I don’t really feel like I totally didn’t get that experience because I still had video games in the house and I still played over at other people’s houses. Yeah, but I do there. You know, there was an aspect of you know, when I brought home, my Xbox 360 the first time, there was a little bit of a bittersweet moment where it’s like I’m sitting in, I was living on my own. This is the first time I was, you know, I was out of high school in community college, I was living in a little cabin. Granted, I was right next door to my grandparents who I had been living with. So again, it’s like that sort of in between. But I was I was alone in my house with my game console. And it’s like, wow, I’m gonna play Fallout 3 for 12 hours straight. And this is this is I’m finally getting what I always wanted Yeah,

Marc Cuiriz 14:03well, let’s see, like, I feel like that kind of brings up another point like, when it comes to like gaming in and of itself for me, like, I like my dad had like the original Nintendo and then I had Sega and then I had the PS 2x, Xbox 360 and things like that growing up. Mainly just due to, you know, just being lucky on Christmas, I guess. But like for me, like games are always viewed so negatively amongst my family and so like they did their best to kind of like taint the the ideas of video games and thinking like no, like, you need to be outside. Like, I was talking about this just this morning at work because there was a question on the radio of like, what are things we did as kids like that we would never let our kids do today. And like one of those things for me specifically was like my remember one day like it. My mom said like, basically told me to go outside. I walked outside she said alright, I I don’t want you to coming back into this house until you have grass stains on your clothes, like I want your clothes to be absolutely dirty, you’re going to be outside, don’t come back and then close the door and expecting me to just go play in the neighborhood, you know. And like that was their idea of things like they would try so hard to get me involved in like outdoorsy activities or just being something away from a screen. And as I got older, like, it was something that like I like doubled down on because I’m like, No, this is this is what I enjoy. And I took this back from the people that kept trying to tell me that this was nothing but a waste of time. Or, I would say like, even doing like things like this, like recording a podcast like this is something that like, my family growing up would have been like, That’s so stupid, what are you thinking, you should go get a like a real job, quote, unquote. And yet to me, like this is a passion of mine talking about these sorts of things and doing these sorts of things. And I’ve decided to reclaim this part of my childhood that for so long was looked down on or ridiculed for all sorts of various reasons. And so like, this was something like, No, this is I’m taking this back, this is mine, I’m reclaiming this now as an adult, and I’m proud of this, which is why I said like, I’ll, you know, sit here and you know, slow dance with my cat in the living room on my days off, because why not, you know, if I want to, if I had something I want to do, or if I want to spend 12 hours playing Destiny two all day, instead of doing my homework, I’m going to do so because that’s, that’s I want to reclaim that that part that I feel like I’ve lost along the way.

Link Keller 16:47definitely gotten a lot of videos on my Tiktok for you page that talks about, like re parenting your your childhood self. So it’s definitely something that has been on my mind and talking about, you know, there are instances where you want something and you tell yourself like, oh, no, that’s like frivolous. That’s a waste. Like, I don’t deserve that. i It’s not for me, I’m, I’m a grown ass adult, that’s not for me. And it’s like, just slapping that part of you and being

Lara Taylor 17:25just do it!

Link Keller 17:25like you do deserve this, it will bring you joy. And you should allow yourself to have that. And in doing that. Your inner child really being like, oh my god, I’m finally getting the thing that I want and how much joy can just wash over you in those moments. Yeah, yeah. I think it’s lovely.

Lara Taylor 17:50Yeah, it is wonderful. And it’s wonderful to see that. I don’t know, I relate to less because I am the spoiled, privileged kid that got everything I wanted as a kid. Not that my childhood was perfect. But I had parents that didn’t look down on the things that I did. My mom was the one who bought me all my gaming consoles until she died. And then my dad bought me the gaming consoles. And she would play games with me. So, like I said, I don’t think for me, it’s reclaiming childhood, because I don’t think I ever lost it. Some of my imagination might have gone I don’t do as much imaginative play as I would like spontaneously, but I’m still I never stopped playing with Legos. I never stopped playing video games. I never stopped all those things.

Link Keller 18:42I’m gonna push back against that a little bit, Lara, I like you have as you have become more involved in CASTT gamers,

Lara Taylor 18:51that’s true

Link Keller 18:51which you can check out at twitch.tv/castt with two T’s underscore gamers. You have been engaging in roleplay, which is very much imaginative play. And the you You said yourself like you had done some d&d and stuff before but you know, much smaller scale, and now you’re playing weekly, sometimes twice a week, I think that you have reclaimed that part of you.

Lara Taylor 19:19That’s true. I see it differently. I think I didn’t think of it that way. Because I see it differently than like the one I used to go in the backyard with my Ninja Turtles and my GI Joes and my Barbies and like dig holes in the ground to make forts out of sticks and leaves and rocks with my friend and make like a pool with the hose and like that kind of thing. But I agree it’s different. It’s all in because we don’t play with miniatures online. It’s all Mind’s Eye theater, but Yeah, same kind of thing.

Link Keller 19:51There’s definitely overlap there.

Lara Taylor 19:53Yeah,

Link Keller 19:54God now I want to go out in the backyard and make a mud pie.

Marc Cuiriz 19:56Honestly,

Lara Taylor 19:57I mean, you and Roz can do that?

Link Keller 20:02Yeah, yes, there has been, there has been some some interesting moments in, you know, spending a significant amount of time with a toddler and getting to really just be in the moment with her as she explores and learns new things and gets excited about stuff. I’m sure it’s only going to get more as she, you know, gets a little older and starts talking and having her own ideas and stories and all that stuff. I’m pretty excited for that to happen. But yeah, I think I think a lot of what I missed from my childhood was mostly like, emotional support. Not so much like experiences, this is like just emotional support. That is something I have reclaimed as an adult’s creating, you know, a group of friends that they are my family, and they provide me with that kind of, you know, love and support that I missed out on as a kid.

Marc Cuiriz 21:17Well, I would say that even even the idea of emotional support, like that’s still like an experience that you are missing out on, like, just that, I like that idea of like of like, you know, let’s say like you’re doing like a like you’re in a show at school, and you all your family is there to cheer you on, and be there for you, regardless of the role that you’re playing. Like, you know, that’s that was, I would still say that’s an experience and emotional support. Or if you’re going through a really rough time, or you know, you’re really struggling at school, and they’re there to like, talk you through it or figure out, like help you figure out a solution. Like, those are still experiences that you are inevitably missing out on. And I would also 100% Agree, like, those are things that I do have also missed out on quite a bit like there have been like, in high school doing choir, there were multiple times when my concerts would be over. And I’d be looking for my mom, and she wouldn’t be there, I’d call her and she would be asleep on the couch because she worked and she was tired and didn’t really want like, like, the choir stuff wasn’t really her thing. So she wouldn’t do that. But if my brother was doing a sports thing, and it was a game, all you better believe she’d be up bright and early in the morning to be there and support him through his games because they cherished, you know, athletic sports over, you know, more of the creative arts. And I’m with length, like those are things that I feel like I definitely have reclaimed as an adult, like, you know, having a support group and a friend group that are supportive of the things that I choose to do like joining Geek Therapy, finding a group of of like minded individuals were for once in my life, I finally felt like I found a place where I truly belonged. And I could be my true authentic self, I could let down all of the masks. And nobody would would think of me in a negative light whatsoever like this is this is me in my purest form that hardly anybody ever sees. And even so, like, I would even say, like even with my job, like, how I support the kids that I’m working with, like there are things that I’m telling them or trying to help them through that I had wished I had heard growing up. And so by telling like, by working with these kids and saying these things to them and seeing their progress or seeing them change, and then hearing back from past residents that had left like last year in the summertime saying I still am take I still remember exactly what you said to me and because of like the things you have said, I’m now doing so much better. And I’m really thankful for what you’ve done like that, to me is like not only validation, but it’s also like I’ve reclaimed this part of me because not only was I telling this kid that but I was telling my my child self that like my inner child I was telling them the things that I needed to hear back then and it kind of helped foster this idea of growth in myself so while I’m helping these children overcome their struggles I am inadvertently also helping myself by telling the both of us what I what we both need to hear

Lara Taylor 24:36well in that way, I will go along with links point about castt gamers and my gameplay. So I had that we had episode A while back there was that situation where I I ended up going through a whole lot of traumatic experiences I’ve been through and now in this new game we’re playing wonder home with She has a bunch of animals traveling the world. And I am playing a child character who is separated from her parents. And I did not go into this thinking anything about it. Like I didn’t think that I was going to get into my, because I wasn’t thinking when I created the character that I was going to get into my trauma with losing my mom when I was young. And I had, we ended up streaming on the anniversary of my mom’s death. And I had mentioned beforehand that I kind of didn’t want to touch on grief and loss stuff too much. But my group, in the best way, I think I trusted them enough to know that if it was too much, I could stop and hit the X card. And we could use safety tools and it would be done. But we went with to this really cool place where my character Ali, who her parents are not dead. That was a thing that I was very clear about. But she’s lost from them. I basically created Fievel Mousekewitz from American Tail. She was able to, there was a magical place where she could go to the forge where things get fixed you things that were broken, that you had broken or something from your life found you and you could fix it. And so she found a lantern. That was her mom’s that she had broken and in the process, got to see visions of her past life with her family, and then kind of get to talk to her mom. And HOOBOY was that a doozy of an episode. But it was wonderful in a way that that is my reclamation of my childhood. I think getting to hear things and do things that I wish I could have done. And get to do that for myself now with people who I trust and people who I love who I consider family, which is really cool. So yeah, and that’s all even though it’s castt gamers, it’s all because of GT because I met Kayla through GT, and Bodhana group through GT. And then that’s, that’s where it all started.

Marc Cuiriz 27:26And GT really is making people cry.

Lara Taylor 27:29It really does make people cry all the time.

Marc Cuiriz 27:32Oh, my goodness, no. You know, touching on things like that, like, oh my goodness, like they’re like, like, for me growing up, like, storytelling was like my, like, number one thing, like, I’m a person, like, I can’t write down a story. Like I can’t, like fully flesh out like a complete story. Like the only time I can do it is if I’m like forced to. So like growing up like I had, like, all these ideas of like, all these different sorts of stories. And the thing is, is that like, a lot of my stories are like very like, out there. Like I had one that was like a virtual reality thing. Kind of like, what was it? There’s like, there was like a, I can’t remember if it’s like a game or a movie where like, you’re going into the game, and then you get trapped in the game. And like something happens. So then like if you die in the game, you die in real life

Lara Taylor 28:32sword art online?

Marc Cuiriz 28:33Yeah, kinda like that

Link Keller 28:34there are so many examples of that.

Marc Cuiriz 28:36Exactly.

Lara Taylor 28:37Like, I like dot.hack or whatever. Like, yeah,

Marc Cuiriz 28:41yeah, like I knew, I do. Remember, it was the kind of like, sword art online Yeah, but then like, there was like, something in particular that like I was trying to reference but like, perfect it almost. And like, there a thing about that. And like thinking about like, dealing with, like, more so with like, family stuff. Also with that, that like, was kind of teetering on, like stuff I was dealing with at the time with my own family. And then now like, I have, like this whole trilogy, like I have an actual trilogy completely, like in my mind, like I had it all written out. I’m like, Alright, this is how I want this story to go. And I can’t for the life of me write it down. But like at the same time, like this is like me, like using storytelling and using these creative outlets to bring back pieces of me that like I had to leave behind are things that I never really got to like, fully explore as a child because, like, like I’ve been mentioning, like my family had such a big emphasis on sports, and things like that. Not creative things. So anything creative, they were completely dismissive about. So I usually left all that stuff behind and now as an adult, like I’m bringing all these things back up to the forefront, and as ways to sort of, I don’t know, reclaim myself and reclaim parts of myself kind I like what you were doing with, with castt. Even though that wasn’t necessarily your intention, that was still something that that happened. And I think that’s, I really find that awesome and amazing and kind of jealous, you know, kind of want to do stuff like that at some point. But,

Lara Taylor 30:17Marc, we need you talk about the storytelling and everything we need to get you in on some RPGs

Marc Cuiriz 30:22Oh my gosh. Maybe after the recording, I will let you guys in on this story. But like, it’s, it’s great and okay, I’m gonna get sidetracked by keep talking about it any quick, somebody else sounds

Lara Taylor 30:36it’s very exciting.

Link Keller 30:37I recently been going to the library a lot, which I love. I’ve been diving into just reading for fun again, which, you know, after leaving my graduate program, it took a while but I’m finally in the position where it’s like, Oh, my God, like the joy of reading has returned to me. And I’ve been reading some YA novels. Which I did. I did read as a kid, obviously, I definitely grew out of YA novels pretty early, because I was reading a lot. And I guess I just was like, I’m too old. For this. I’m gonna read grownup books now. And I have completely divorced myself from that

Lara Taylor 31:19YA i read morethan grown up books honestly

Link Keller 31:20But yeah, at this point, I’m like, it’s, it’s for my inner teen, but also just me, I fucking love it. It’s great. But one thing I have noticed is a lot of the more recent novels that I’ve been reading have, like queer relationships in them. And that was not something I encountered as an actual child, and that I have had bittersweet moments of being like, if I had read this when I was 11. So much would be different for me now, because these are the words that I needed to hear back then. And they didn’t exist yet. Or if they did exist, I didn’t find them. And now, I have so many examples, and it’s great. And it’s it’s been fantastic to have. You know, and and in, you know, like watching She-Ra and Steven Universe, and lots of modern cartoons where I’m getting the queer representation. I Definitely

Lara Taylor 31:20Nimona is coming out next year on Netflix. Oh, anyway, so good.

Link Keller 32:25But, yeah, I’ve been sort of going back and forth between reading like fluffy, sweet, YA novels about young queers, saving the world fairly easily, which, mmm, that’s good. Love that. And then also reading like, real heavy books about like, racism and serial killers and stuff like that. So really, kind of given myself a little whiplash there. But definitely fulfilling that that reclaiming of childhood aspect is like I’m getting, I’m getting those pieces of me. I’m getting to feed that that childhood version of me that didn’t get, you know, the nourishment that they needed. I’m getting to give it to them now. And that’s really swell.

Lara Taylor 33:18Yeah, I think about that and think about how I wasn’t out to most people in high school. And getting to play Life is Strange was really cool, too. I didn’t date women until I was 19. So getting to have like, a high school romance in Life is Strange, and get to play that out. Was so cathartic. And so like, Oh, this is great. I wish I could have done this as a kid. And it didn’t, it didn’t hurt that it didn’t take too place too much longer after high school for me. So it was very nostalgic, and like, reclaiming that space. But I get obsessive with any game where it’s young people who are queer, or any book or any story, because that’s something I didn’t get to experience because that was like, I was out to friends, but also not in a place where I was going to date women yet. So I don’t know. That’s another way of reclaiming things, ya

Marc Cuiriz 34:27know, and, I mean, I kind of felt like the same way I mean, not in unnecessarily the queer aspect of things but like with Steven Universe, like watching Steven Universe as an adult now, like as an adult, it was definitely the kind of show that I wish I so desperately wish I had growing up. Because, you know, for me, like with my culture, like it’s, it’s all about that, like machismo personality of like you have to be overly masculine and that is something I am definitely not And I’ve always been, you know, very much like Steven and like very caring, very empathetic, very, like warm and welcoming, and just give the complete opposite of everything my family really wanted me to be. And having Steven, like, be as, as a cartoon was, I remember like, towards like the end of like, season five, when, like they had the big special, I remember, like crying watching it, because I’m like, this is this is what I needed. This is what the seven year old Marc needed to really validate themselves and let them know that like how they’re feeling and how they want to interact with people is perfectly okay. And I don’t necessarily need to be what my family is wanting me to be, because that’s what I feel like I spent a good chunk of my childhood trying to do is trying to be something that they would approve of, and be okay with, just so I could feel accepted. And I feel like that dominated a good chunk of things. So going through all the episodes of Steven Universe, and, and even going even even further in depth with with here comes the thought and really breaking down these episodes and talking about the themes and everything that was going on in them. Like, in a way it was also like me, reclaiming those parts that I spent so long trying to please people that really didn’t have my best interests at heart. I mean, they’re like my family overall. You know, they’re, they’re supportive now, like, they’ve definitely changed their ways since I was a wee babe. But But still, like, I’m reclaiming those parts of me that like I wasted trying to appease and please other people. And now it’s like, no, I’m proud of who I am and who I’ve become. And, you know, this is this is something that baby me needed. And now it’s finally got it. And, you know, it may have taken a lot longer and yeah, it to me, it does kind of suck a little bit. But at the same time, it’s like, I’m just happy that this is finally here. And if I have I have children, like they are definitely watching Steven Universe, in all its glory multiple times, just to really let it sink in for them. To let them know like it’s okay to be whoever you choose to be. And don’t let anybody tell you different you know?

Lara Taylor 37:36I think that’s the message more most children need, because a lot of children don’t get that. We as adults put so much pressure on kids to be something. A lot of different types of things. It could be be someone who makes it has a job that makes money, be not queer, be a certain way emotionally. And I think that, yeah, I’m glad that these things are in the way I wish we had them when we were younger, but I am glad that they’re here in the world. And everybody else gets to enjoy them, including us as adults who can get let it touch our inner child and get to that, that feeling there of like, I needed that

Marc Cuiriz 38:37definitely, I I can just now I’m like now I’m like spiraling thinking back to like, all all the things that happened in my child, and I’m like, damn, there’s a lot a whole lot of things out there that I’m like, you know, I wish I had this or like, Oh, I wish I had known about this. And it now that they’re like out here now, like in the present like, it’s like, Damn, where was this at the same time. Like, I’m just glad it’s finally here. And finally being talked about. And I’m finally you know, in the process of being normalized, or Destigmatized and things like that, like, even seeing like, just like even having the proper cultural representation like, like with Coco, for instance, like, just getting that part. Like, for me, like a sense of culture is something that wasn’t always prominent in me and yet watching coco, I felt like I was reconnecting and reclaiming a piece of that, that I felt like I didn’t get to have as a child, you know, for various reasons. None of them necessarily bad is you know, just, I tried, I guess so hard to conform to the American way of things and not be so traditional in terms of like my Hispanic culture, but watching something like Coco like that helped kind of bring it back a little bit and kind of sparked this desire to want to reconnect with it and be more proud of the culture that I’m a part of and where I came from. Things like that

Link Keller 40:26okay, this is we got we got a little heavy there. I’m gonna I’m gonna swerve us back into the light. Have you had your Disney Experience? Tell us a highlights what was something that was particularly joyful for you to experience?

Marc Cuiriz 40:43What was particularly joyful? I think it was honestly the avatar ride. Mm hmm. I like, Okay, this is also another thing that was like, pretty bad was that I went on the avatar ride. And as I’m sitting there waiting, I’m like, I was telling my wife, I was like, you know, I’ve never actually watched the avatar movie.

Lara Taylor 41:04Most people that are going on that ride probably haven’t. It’s just the fact that the ride is really cool. It was fun on it.

Marc Cuiriz 41:13It was so cool. And she was like, you haven’t seen it? I’ve seen it like 10 times. And I’m like, one first up how it did not seem like a movie that like it did not seem like a movie that like would have piqued her interest. But so the fact that she’s seen it that many times was astounding. And also I’m like, Okay, well, like I had every intention of watching it when it first came out. But then it became sort of like, Game of Thrones to me, where so many people were talking about it. And so many people were hyping it up that I just kind of was like, you know, I kind of don’t feel like watching it anymore. And now that’s kind of like with Game of Thrones, like I’ve, I’ve watched maybe the first two episodes of Game of Thrones. And it’s just, I’m just like, No, because I also know that so many people complain about it after like season like six or seven. Then like, everyone says, like the last season, you know, for like a majority of people say it’s not good. So I’m like, why am I going to sit here and invest all my time into something that I know may or may not disappoint me. And I and so I’m like, I just don’t desire about it. Plus, like so many people have talked about it. Okay, I can kind of pick it up from there. Or I could just watch a YouTube video that like, tells me the entire story of Game of Thrones so I can know what’s what what people are talking about if I if I really wanted to. So that’s kind of like what Avatar was for me. But going on the ride and experiencing it. I was like okay, no, I need to go and I need to watch avatar so that was like the first thing we watched when when we came home because for some reason I couldn’t get the the the the mirror thing on my phone to go on to the TV in the in the hotel room, so I had to wait till I came home to actually watch it. But then when I watched it, I was like, damn, this is a good movie. And then I started getting a little upset at the fact that like, there’s they keep talking about a sequel being made and

Link Keller 43:05sequels.

Marc Cuiriz 43:07And like

Lara Taylor 43:07sequels!

Marc Cuiriz 43:08it doesn’t need it though. It doesn’t need a sequel. Like it’s one of those movies. Okay,

Lara Taylor 43:14there are people who would say Star Wars didn’t need a sequel either.

Marc Cuiriz 43:18I mean, I could I could see that. I could definitely

Lara Taylor 43:22I also I also don’t know if avatar needs a sequel.

Marc Cuiriz 43:27Like like the way it and like the way it ended. I was like I think this is a very good way

Lara Taylor 43:33they tied everything up in a bow.

Marc Cuiriz 43:34Exactly It was it was a really nice story it was told like that was told and it and like all like there was no real loose ends like it is what it is all right, perfect. end of story does not like what what exactly you’re gonna go into in a sequel. Like okay, he’s adjusting to life now as that do you see that him adjusting to it throughout the whole movie and that’s why he makes this choice. Like that’s why he decides that he wants to trans basically transfer his life to his avatar. Like okay, what next? Are we going to have now intergalactic war now like are they going to try to like he’s going to try to like modernize them because he knows that like the you know people from Earth are going to come back full swing because of this battle. Like I don’t know and I feel like honestly that’s just gonna like I dunno I feel like it was just like, over overdo it.

Lara Taylor 44:27So one thing that came up for me when you were talking about this god I sound like a damn therapist. Um, it was interesting hearing you talk about you hadn’t seen the movie and that you didn’t really have a desire to and you got to go on the ride. The ride was is one of Disney’s like groundbreaking technology kind of rides that gives you this immersive experience. The thing about avatar When it came out that you missed out on was the groundbreaking 3d movie, right? That was the hype. The hype was, that was the first movie I saw in 3d. That was the hype that it was beautiful cinematics. And like, I remember watching it in 3d, and the twinkling lights from the from the trees and all of that were like floating in your face. And it was so beautiful. And I felt like I was there. And now I just go to 3d movies, and it doesn’t feel like it’s there. Like, it’s not the same thing. But for me, that was the magic of the movie. And you missed out on that hype, and that excitement. And then you get to go to Disney and relive it in a different way. Because it is one of their newer rides with this immersive experience. That’s supposed to be really cool. And I’m jealous that I haven’t gotten to go on it.

Marc Cuiriz 45:51You should be

Lara Taylor 45:53I know. I think it’ll be a while before I make it back to Animal Kingdom and Disney World. But I think it’s really cool that you got to reclaim your childhood and we got to reclaim that movie in that experience. And then you decided to watch the movie anyway and thought it was really cool, so

Marc Cuiriz 46:12Yeah, no, I, I definitely can see that. And I do think like yeah, like, I think like when it comes to those sorts of things that like, yes, this was like the first 3d Like real, like groundbreaking, like immersive movie for Disney. I definitely see that and like, don’t get me wrong, this, like, the way the movie looks, it definitely still holds up. Like it’s one of those movies where I feel like it’s going to hold up unless like, we somehow get like, virtual reality fully, like immersive interactive movies and like 70 100 years from now, I don’t know. Like, like, were you It’s like your pick your own adventure movies. Basically, it’s basically what we’re going to eventually evolve into, I’m sure. But like, I still feel like even though I didn’t get like the 3d experience of it, like, still sitting there and watching that movie for the first time, it almost felt like watching. Like, it almost kind of felt like watching like a new Marvel movie. Like how like, the excitement is for those. Like, that’s basically what it felt like, as I was watching it, like I was like getting so engrossed in it. And I was like getting deeply involved in it. And then like, dealing with like the the spiritual messages that they were, you know, highlighting in the, in the movie was like, damn, like, I can get behind this sort of stuff like this is this is what I can work with. And, you know, like, that’s another thing like, even with spiritual, like spiritual stuff, like, growing up, I was a Catholic became just a normal Christian. And then ultimately decided to kind of shy away from religion as a whole. And to have movies in like, I didn’t really have a lot of movies that like, challenge those thoughts and ideals. And so to kind of like, take that back, because like that was something that was more so forced upon me. And then I’ll take it back. Like no, like, these are my ideals and like, here’s a movie that’s like, falling in line with those things. Like I’m here for it. I want to take that back from what was forced upon me as a youth. So no, yeah, I think it’s I now I just want to go back to Disney. I just want to go back.

Lara Taylor 48:31I always want to go back. As soon as I leave, I want to go back I’d live there if I could,

Marc Cuiriz 48:38honestly, yeah, I could probably do that. I just want a lightsaber. Honestly.

Lara Taylor 48:47I want a lot of things because my Disney has spider man ride. I want to go on too

Marc Cuiriz 48:54you just had to throw spider man there. Ah, great. Guess I’m going to Disneyland.

Link Keller 49:02I’m over here fulfilling all of my amusement park needs by watching YouTube short documentaries about all of the horrible things that have happened in amusement parks. haha whoops!

Lara Taylor 49:19In my undergrad, I had to take a public speaking class and we had to do an informative speech. And my informative speech was on all the deaths that had happened at Disneyland up until that point, and it was wonderful

Link Keller 49:35I love that

Lara Taylor 49:37all of them, all of them at that point had not been Disney’s fault. It was human stupidity that like I’m gonna try and sneak in on the monorail right? Rail track, bam, like, yeah, or I’m gonna be get drunk at grad night and try to swim to Tom Sawyer’s Island and drown you Yeah. But yeah, that was that was my speech because I love Disney that much.

Marc Cuiriz 50:08I remember I was kind of a jerk to my wife because she, like we were in line for Tower of Terror. And like she was not. She was not having it with the drop, like she knew it was happening. And she felt like it was so unsafe. And like, as we were about to, like, get on the ride, I was like, Oh, do you want to know something? She’s like, what I’m like, you know, a couple days before we came here, there was like a news article that came out and like there’s like another amusement park in Orlando. And like, this incident happened, you know, obviously it’s not Disney. It’s something complete different but like, oh, yeah, like this, this poor individual, you know, they died. And she just liked the look she gave me like, well, you know, it’s too late now

Lara Taylor 50:53you’re horrible

Link Keller 50:54you little shit

Marc Cuiriz 50:58And then and then I watched the little slomo that they like do for like the Disney like photos. Like the photo shoot thing to see the little slow mo of us like getting like, like, drop and then bounce. And then like, just to like see her face that she’s like, holding on for dear life. 10 out of 10 would recommend would 100% Do it again.

Lara Taylor 51:18I have so many pictures of me on Terror Tower of Terror was a ride that I was never gonna go on. That is like the one kind of ride I don’t like I don’t like heights. But for some reason, my sister was able to convince me to go on toower of terror and then Guardians of the Galaxy in California makes it a lot easier because it’s very fun. I liked the the tower terror piece but like you’re rocking out to music blasting in your ears and going up and down and being thrown all over the place. One thing I have to remind myself they don’t actually drop you they’re not dropping you. You don’t get let go from anything. The ride actually pushes you up and down. It just feels like a drop because it’s moving very fast. But yeah, I would have killed you if you said that to me. If we were there on that ride I would have murdered you would not have you would have been the the one to stay behind in the Twilight Zone.

Marc Cuiriz 52:20I didn’t know like and I’m the same way like I’m terrified of drops and terrified of heights like heights in me are no bueno. But like I was like, genuinely excited for this just because like I knew what I was signing up for going into it. And I’m like, You know what, I’m gonna make this fun. And then we when we sit in and it’s like, like, like a cage like an actual, like, elevator thing. I’m like, Oh, alright, unless this thing like, breaks down and we plummet actually to the ground. I’m not falling anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. I’m seat. I’m in a seat and there’s a cage all around me, unless I’m somehow flying forward out of the open out of the openings. Like, I’m gonna be fine. So then

Lara Taylor 53:01I was gonna play on hardmode look down at your feet and you can see yourself plummeting to the ground.

Marc Cuiriz 53:09Next time, Next time, I’m doing it.

Lara Taylor 53:11Yeah, no, that right is terrifying. The only two rides at Disney that you will actually hear me scream on another fake like ahh woo Splash Mountain and tower of terror. Real blood curdling oh my god, I’m gonna die screams

Marc Cuiriz 53:30I will say actually, Splash Mountain was the only one that we couldn’t really do. Because like you when we were at Magic Kingdom, like it was down for like a good half of the day. And then

Lara Taylor 53:42they’ve been having issues at that one.

Marc Cuiriz 53:44Yeah. And then like, they did get it up and running. And then by that point, we were like, we didn’t really want to get wet. Like, you didn’t really feel like it. So it’d be really it’s alright, it’s fine. And then like, Mount Everest was the also the only other coaster that we couldn’t do that. Like I was kind of excited for at the same time was like yeah, you know what, like, it’s not like the rides broken or anything. It’s like they’re redoing it. They’re refurbishing it so it’s like it’s whatever and so that’s like okay, all the more reason to come back and besides like, I think Epcot is getting a Guardians of the Galaxy thing in the summer to they’re opening it up. So I’m like all the more reason that I have to go back. So I’m excited. I definitely am looking forward to another potential Disney trip. However, you mentioned Spider Man So now that’s my my brain is hyper fixating. So now I need to go and

Lara Taylor 54:35Spider Man web slingers where you play the game you get to shoot webs at things.

Marc Cuiriz 54:41I need that in my life right now. All right, I’m gonna start buying plane tickets to california. Wonderful.

Link Keller 54:47I do I do have a smaller scale. Like I said before, I only went to Disneyland as a child but when the first time I went to Disneyland, I was like five or six, my dad wanted to go on Space Mountain. And so I was with him. And we got all the way through the line. And we got up to the front and I was terrified, and I did not want to do it. And we got into the to the carts, and the thing came down and I just started bawling. And so it’s like you get in and it pulls forward up to the door and it stops again, and then you go through, so pulled up to the door and bless whoever was running the ride that day, because they saw me they were like, No, I’m not gonna let you. And so they stopped and they let me get out. And my dad’s like, No, I’m still going on this ride. And

Lara Taylor 55:44because it’s like a three minute ride at the most

Link Keller 55:46Yes, but so I stood there and I held the hand of a security guard while I waited for my dad to get off the ride. And I’m just like, tears going. And when I went back. I was like, I’m never going on Space mountain. No, it’s too scary. And then when I went when I was 16, I was with a youth group. So I was I wasn’t there with my parents. And my friend Bryn was like, Look, I know it’s scary. But you need you need to go on this ride. And I’m gonna be there with you. She was several years younger than me I had babysat her for a while is is just like, little sibling being like, no, look, you can do this. You can do it. I’m like, Okay. I love Space Mountain. It was great. I loved space mountain very much a moment of overcoming my fear and reclaiming that childhood moment. So very big difference in experience of having a parent like forcing you to do something versus having a friend being like, No, I think that you will really enjoy this and I want you to have this experience with me. Which was lovely. But yeah, I did. I did. I did finally go on Space Mountain. I loved it in. If I ever go back to Disneyland, I will definitely go on Space Mountain again.

Lara Taylor 57:02So and now right? Well, at least right now. It is Star Wars themed. It is Hyperspace Mountain and it is wonderful.

Link Keller 57:11It’s just you know, I don’t really like roller coasters, because I don’t like the up and down motion but I like getting spun. Like I like the tea cups

Lara Taylor 57:21space Mountain is mostly that

Link Keller 57:22so that. Nobody explained to me.

Lara Taylor 57:26You’re going down the whole time

Link Keller 57:28Yeah, its very much side to side motion in Space Mountain. I was like, Oh, this is 100% my jam. i You were right, Bryn. I absolutely loved it. But yeah, Space Mountain.

Lara Taylor 57:40You conquered a fear My mom never did. She would not go on Space Mountain ever because she was scared of the dark

Link Keller 57:46that that was the thing. So many people were like, Oh, you’re just scared of the dark. I’m like it is not the dark that I have a problem with a little bit because it’s because I was like I can’t see it. So I don’t know that it’s not just an up and down roller coaster. But um, ya know, I like space. I like stars. That’s cool. That’s space is neat fan of that. But roller coaster. I don’t know, I don’t know about that. But ya know, I am glad that I did finally do that. That was a that was a good moment for me.

Marc Cuiriz 58:18I loved I loved all the things that happened in the dark, like the pitch dark. It was it was the greatest experience that I’ve had, like, just not knowing what was happening. And then all sudden, just whoosh. I’m like, Yep, this is this is it. This is what I look for in my life. Just pitch black. excitement and thrill.

Lara Taylor 58:36Let me tell you, I’ve been on Space Mountain once where the ride broke down, and I had to turn all the lights on. The magic is not broken forever. But like it was

Link Keller 58:48a little bit

Lara Taylor 58:49an experience. You’re like, you look around and you’re like, Oh, there’s the track

Link Keller 58:52this is way smaller than I expected it to be.

Lara Taylor 58:55Exactly. Exactly. Definitely.

Link Keller 58:58Yeah.

Lara Taylor 58:59But reclaim that childhood. Do the things you didn’t get to do.

Marc Cuiriz 59:06Yes, exactly. And do not be ashamed about them either. Take pride in it.

Link Keller 59:13Hell yeah,

Lara Taylor 59:13exactly. Always be proud of the geekiness in your life.

Link Keller 59:21All right, any final thoughts?

Marc Cuiriz 59:26I think we’re good.

Lara Taylor 59:28I want to go to Disneyland. That’s my final thought.

Link Keller 59:32I want to go to Disneyland with you. Like I don’t I don’t really feel the call of Disney but I feel like if I went with you and Nina I would have the time of my life.

Lara Taylor 59:41Because you would feed off our joy

Link Keller 59:43Yes, absolutely. It just be like look at your two smiling faces. Yum, yum, yum.

Marc Cuiriz 59:50Just siphon all the joy.

Link Keller 59:51Oh man. All right. Well, this has been a fun episode. I’m going to say farewell from GT radio on the Geek Therapy network, where we believe that the best way to understand ourselves and others is through the media we care about. Nailed it. Thank you so much for listening. You can find all of our social media and links to things in the show notes. You can check us out at Geek therapy.org. And I hope you have a lovely rest of your day, whatever you’re doing, and we’ll be back next week… mmm

Marc Cuiriz 1:00:39bye!

Link Keller 1:00:40yaay!

Josué Cardona 1:00:43Geek Therapy is a 501 C three nonprofit organization dedicated to making the world a better place through geek culture. To learn more about our mission and become a supporter, visit geek therapy.org

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

• Disneyland / Disney World
• Fallout 3
• Destiny 2
• Wanderhome (ttrpg)
• Fievel Mousekewitz / An American Tail (2004)
• Sword Art Online
• Dot.Hack
• She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
• Steven Universe
• Nimona
• Life is Strange
• Coco (2017)
• Avatar (2009)
• Game of Thrones

Conversation Topics:

* Missing Out* Cultural representation* Death* Family* Feeling alone* Finding Oneself/Identity Development* LGBT Issues* Love* Resilience* Inner Child/Inner Teen

Relatable Experience:

* Re-Parenting* Clarity/Understanding* Coming of age/Getting older* Death* Loss (other than death)* New Life Event (New Rules)* Overcoming Fears

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