It’s been nearly 30 years since Ethan Hawke’s breakout performance in Dead Poet’s Society—and in that time, he’s become one of America’s most acclaimed and versatile actors. But it’s rarely been as easy as Hawke sometimes makes it look. In the first episode of GQ’s Mad Influence, the four-time Academy Award-nominee talks with Jim Nelson about the hard choices and tough lessons that have shaped his career. It’s a funny and illuminating conversation in which Hawke explains—among other things—how his early success became an obstacle, how choosing the right mentors changed his life, and how onscreen love scenes never stop feeling weird.