June 26th is a big day for queer rights in America. But it is most notorious for being the day that same-sex marriage was federally legalized. Join us as we journey through the early days of the fight for marriage equality. Love Wins As time and time again our opponents try to break the bonds...
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June 26th is a big day for queer rights in America. But it is most notorious for being the day that same-sex marriage was federally legalized. Join us as we journey through the early days of the fight for marriage equality.
Love Wins
As time and time again our opponents try to break the bonds of love. Experience 43 years of romance and heartbreak. Until we arrive at that moment just outside the Supreme Courthouse. And we’ll go ahead and spoil the end because in this episode Love Wins!
Today is a happy day in queer U.S. History. On June 26, 2015, same-sex marriage was federally legalized in the United States. Now often times we hear that phrase linked to the words “marriage equality”. But the truth is, we’re not quite there in terms of equal marriage rights for everyone. We’ll discuss how and why later in the episode. But for now, we say congratulations to all the same-sex couples and queer couples who were able to FINALLY marry their partners. And we’re going to credit our main source of information right up front, the book Love Wins by Debbie Cenziper and Jim Obergefell. Make sure you check that out if you can. We will drop the reference again at the end of the episode. So, let us launch into the tale of love triumphing over hate.
Jim: “We’ve been together since December 31, 1992. And it’s been my world. It’s been my life. We’ve been in a committed relationship since that time. And in our eyes we are married. Our families love us. Our families consider us married. Our families and friends treat us as a committed married couple”
AL: “Now you’ve been together and been a couple for over twenty years. Why is it so important for you to be married?”
Jim: Well, I think that’s the same for any couple who decides to get married, no matter how long they’ve been together. We want our country, our state, to recognize our relationship and to say, ‘Yes. You matter. You were married. You have the rights, the benefits, and the responsibilities that go with that, just as any other couple.’ With John near death, it is very important to us to have our relationship formalized and recognized by our government.”
AL: “Now I don’t want to belabor this, but for the purpose of records, we need some sense of how imminent, if you know, John’s passing might be.”
Jim: “I would say days, maybe weeks if we’re lucky. Last week, the RN with our hospice service pulled me aside after their visit with John to tell me I should start preparing because she believes the end is close.”
AL: “Now, there’s a box – number 10 – where is says ‘ Marriage at Time of Death’. Did I read that correctly?”
Jim: “Yes, you did.”
AL: “And if this court does not act, how will that be filled in?”
Jim: “Unmarried.”
AL: “And the next box, ‘Supervising Spouses Name’. If this court doesn’t act, how will that be filled in?”
Jim: “It will remain blank.”
AL: “How should it be filled in?”
Jim: “James Obergefell. My name should be there…. Your honor, during our twenty years together, John and I have taken care of each other during good times and bad, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health. For the past two years, I have had the honor of caring for him as ALS has stolen every ability from him. Rarely a day goes by that he doesn’t apologize for what he feels he’s done to me by getting sick. He is physically incapable of doing anything to thank me or assuage his feelings of guilt, and we all know there are times when words are not enough. We need to do something. What he wants is to die knowing that I will be legally cared for and recognized as his spouse after he is gone. That would give him peace, knowing he was able to care for me as his last thank-you. When I learned that John would forever be listed as unmarried on his death certificate, nor would my name be listed as his spouse, my heart broke.