There is a special kind of covert narcissist wh0 plays the martyr role so convincingly that most people believe he/she is an individual of extraordinary integrity, even holy. 

This is part of the covert narcissist's well rehearsed performance. The martyred covert narcissist makes sure that he is seen as indispensable in this role. Members of his group provide him with the narcissistic supplies of adulation, paraise, adoration, veneration. 

When the covert narcissist is unseen by others and inside the privacy of his/her home----everything changes: his facial expressions, the tone of his voice, his attitude. He is demanding, demeaning, cruel, verbally abusive and is a master at imposing guilt on family menbers. 

No one believes the spouses and children who live with covert narcissists and how abusive and disturbed dthey truly are. 

Some spouses decide that they can no longer tolerate this dreadful charade of a marriage. 

At a point of insight you make the decision to separate from this non-relationship. 

Now you focus on self care: sleep and rest you need and deserve, nourishing food, good hydration, moving at your own pace, the full use of your unique creative gifts. Now you are moving along the pathways of the true, authentic self.

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