I never drink… wine (unless it comes from the Coppola vineyard)

Gary Oldman turns his back on God and Bela Lugosi’s tailor to play Bram Stoker’s Dracula in curlers and a red kimono. But is prudish Winona Ryder the kind of woman a daywalker would hound for centuries? Should someone chain hammy Anthony Hopkins next to Renfield for his crazy ideas about stopping STDs with swords and stakes? And do we blame a trio of vampire brides for draining the life from Keanu Reeves’ performance, or his sticky English accent?  Stuart, Jakob, and Arnie make listeners an offer they can’t refuse with their latest podcast.