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- Jen Lumanlan
- Media Type |
- audio
- Publication Date |
- Jan 30, 2023
- Episode Duration |
- 01:01:42
Do you ever feel ashamed? Many people find it among their most physical emotions, resulting in a big knot of tension or a hot flush that washes over their whole body. But what is shame, and where does it come from?
I recently read a LOT of academic papers and books, and also popular books about shame, and the most helpful resource I found among all of the ones I read was written by my guest today, A.J. Bond. A.J. is a wrier and a filmmaker who experienced a shame-related breakthrough in his own therapy several years ago, and who subsequently became certified as a Healing Shame Practitioner through the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley.
We discuss, among other things:
- The origins of shame all the way back in our childhoods
- What kinds of shame really are helpful in our lives
- How to heal from toxic shame so we don't pass it on to our own children
Parenting Beyond Power
The wait is over! I'm thrilled to announce that Parenting Beyond Power is now available for you to explore.
Discover practical insights and fresh perspectives that can make a positive difference in your parenting journey.
Click the banner to get Parenting Beyond Power today:
Taming Your Triggers
As you're listening to this episode you may well hear the connections between the things you feel ashamed of and your triggered responses to your child's behavior. That's not a coincidence! When we were little we used to advocate for our needs as well (which is what our child is doing), and we were shamed by our parents or caregivers for doing it. And now when our child does that same thing, all those old shame reactions - which had seemed like they were under control! - come raging right back up to the surface.
Want to go beyond keeping a lid on your triggers to actually healing, and learning new tools to parent in line with your values even in the difficult moments? Taming Your Triggers will help! Join the waitlist to be notified when doors reopen.
Do you ever feel ashamed? Many people find it among their most physical emotions, resulting in a big knot of tension or a hot flush that washes over their whole body. But what is shame, and where does it come from?
I recently read a LOT of academic papers and books, and also popular books about shame, and the most helpful resource I found among all of the ones I read was written by my guest today, A.J. Bond. A.J. is a wrier and a filmmaker who experienced a shame-related breakthrough in his own therapy several years ago, and who subsequently became certified as a Healing Shame Practitioner through the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley.
We discuss, among other things:
The origins of shame all the way back in our childhoods
What kinds of shame really are helpful in our lives
How to heal from toxic shame so we don't pass it on to our own children
AJ's book: Discomfortable: What is shame and how can we break its hold? (Affiliate link)
Do you ever feel ashamed? Many people find it among their most physical emotions, resulting in a big knot of tension or a hot flush that washes over their whole body. But what is shame, and where does it come from?
I recently read a LOT of academic papers and books, and also popular books about shame, and the most helpful resource I found among all of the ones I read was written by my guest today, A.J. Bond. A.J. is a wrier and a filmmaker who experienced a shame-related breakthrough in his own therapy several years ago, and who subsequently became certified as a Healing Shame Practitioner through the Center for Healing Shame in Berkeley.
We discuss, among other things:
- The origins of shame all the way back in our childhoods
- What kinds of shame really are helpful in our lives
- How to heal from toxic shame so we don't pass it on to our own children
Parenting Beyond Power
The wait is over! I'm thrilled to announce that Parenting Beyond Power is now available for you to explore.
Discover practical insights and fresh perspectives that can make a positive difference in your parenting journey.
Click the banner to get Parenting Beyond Power today:
Taming Your Triggers
As you're listening to this episode you may well hear the connections between the things you feel ashamed of and your triggered responses to your child's behavior. That's not a coincidence! When we were little we used to advocate for our needs as well (which is what our child is doing), and we were shamed by our parents or caregivers for doing it. And now when our child does that same thing, all those old shame reactions - which had seemed like they were under control! - come raging right back up to the surface.
Want to go beyond keeping a lid on your triggers to actually healing, and learning new tools to parent in line with your values even in the difficult moments? Taming Your Triggers will help! Join the waitlist to be notified when doors reopen.
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Pescosolido, B.A., & Martin, J.K. (2015). The stigma complex. Annual Review of Sociology 41, 87-116.
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Singer, A. (1996). Homosexuality and shame; Clinical meditations on the cultural violation of self. In R.G. Lee & G. Wheeler (Eds.)., The voice of shame: Silence and connection in psychotherapy (p.123-142). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
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von Raumer, Wilhelm. 1857. The Education of Girls. (Cited in Elias 1978.)
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