In this episode I’m going to cover being forceful versus being influential. We all have an idea of what we want and there are many strategies we can utilize to accomplish our goal. However, in regard to using force, which many of us can default into because of the short-term gains, there are many more benefits to cultivating influence even though it takes more time and conscious intention.

Hello, I’m Jodi Flynn and welcome to the Women Taking the Lead podcast. I’m an executive leadership coach, author, speaker, workshop facilitator and I have the joy to work with women leaders who want to hone the skills they’ll need to thrive in Senior Leadership. I know I’ve met a woman I would love to work with when we start having a few laughs about our tendencies toward perfectionism and people pleasing.

I have been living in Maine for the past 18 years and thanks to the beauty of technology I’ve been able to work with women all over the world.

I do individual coaching as well as workshops and team retreats. I am currently in the processes of taking my coaching system and turning it into an online course for those who prefer a Do-It-Yourself model of learning.

I am the current President of the board for The Maine Women's Conference and I am a Curriculum Partner for a Women’s Leadership development program through Real Women Collective Action (RWCA).

I spend my free time catching up with friends and family, planning trips to Virginia to visit my guy, working out and watching the Great British Baking Show.

Communication and Relationships

Because of my expertise in communication and relationship building there have been times I’ve been approached by organizations looking for scripts of what to say. And hearing what this episode was going to cover, you may also have wondered if there are the right things to say to be more influential.

I always respectfully hear what they have to say and why they want these scripts and then I explain to them that communication, relationship building, and gaining influence are more about who you are being that what you are saying.

When I talk about who you are being, I’m referring to your demeanor, your attitude and the overall experience you are creating for the other person or people around you.

You’ve probably heard this before: communication is comprised of only 7% word choice or verbal communication. The other 93% is split 38% vocal (think tone of voice, inflection, volume, etc.) and the final 55% is nonverbal communication (facial expressions and body language).

That means, that while you may have 7% of your communication nailed down the other 93% of what you are communicating may not be in your conscious control. Even if you can get conscious control of some of your vocal and nonverbal communication and get that percentage up to 50% or 60%, you still have 40%-50% of your communication sending different messages.

[Listen in to get more information on transforming subtle force, which only gives you short-term gains, into influence.

How to Increase Your Influence

• Have a strong sense of integrity; keep your word
• Be clear on your core values and live by them
• Be confident and secure in who you are and your abilities
• Continue to develop yourself personally and professionally
• Respect and treat the people you lead with fairness
• Own up to your mistakes and make amends
• Be inclusive, invite others in, letting them be a part of the process
• Make others feel valued and heard
• Be agile and flexible, especially when faced with challenges
• Demonstrate openness, transparency, humility and intelligence
• Have a good sense of humor; value fun and enjoyment in the workplace and elsewhere
• Take your work seriously but don’t take yourself too seriously
• Be curious and embody a sense of possibility
• Assume good intent
• Inspire people by sharing your vision with them and helping them to see themselves in that vision
• Be a team player and make others happy to be on your team, playing alongside you
• Be willing to roll up your sleeves, work hard, and do what it takes
• and so much more...

If you are already doing these things you are probably very in tune with having a blessed life. Well done and keep going. We are blessed to have you among us.

And, if while going through that list you realized you could use some support in developing any of the characteristics and the demeanor that creates influence, I would love to partner with you on this. What is so great about coaching is the things that help to make you a better leader are the things that cause you to be happier and healthier in all areas of your life.

If you’re ready or you would like to hear more about how coaching can help you develop influence reach out to me at jodi@womentakingthelead.com. It would be an honor to be a part of your journey.

And if you thought of a friend or colleague whom this episode would be helpful to, please share it with them. Some of the most useful resources I’ve gained on my journey have come as recommendations from those who cared about me.

As always, I hope this was helpful to you, and here’s to your success!

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Resources

Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.

Create Goals that are Worthy of you: If you are done with either pursuing vanilla goals, suffering through the struggle of goals that are not aligned with your strengths, or dealing with heartbreak of an unattainable goal this course is for you!