The gentleman warn everyone about the most important threat of our time: robots. And as if that’s not enough… * El Greco’s neighbor dies, and the crafty Greek plunders the deceased’s possessions * El Greco attends a sex addicts anonymous meeting with his friend the porn actress * The gentlemen recount a handful of scams pulled by their con-artist friend Roy Boines Uncle Monty’s Comedy Tickets has the largest selection of tickets to comedy shows throughout North America. Get t-shirts, hoodies, and more at the Monty Merch store. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, or wherever content slaves are exploited.

El Greco returns from L.A. with an update on his new big gay musical. Monty explains the dysfunctional sex life he had with his ex-wife. One of El Greco’s scorned lovers slashes his tires three times in as many weeks, leading El Greco to explain the legal minutiae of restraining orders. But wait, there’s more: * How to be a gentleman stalker * The link between El Greco’s Greek heritage and his impulse control problems * Monty’s trip to the swishy optometrist Visit unclemonty.net for great deals on stand-up comedy tickets in your local area. While you’re at it, visit the Monty Merch store. And support the podcast on Patreon.

This short, formerly premium episode is now free. You’re welcome! The gentlemen discuss Nick Broomfield’s 1996 documentary film Fetishes and the famous “ashtrays can’t talk” scene. But the kinky hilarity doesn’t stop there: * El Greco asks an Apple store employee for help with making a sex tape on his iPhone * El Greco asks his doctor for the best sex positions when recovering from hip replacement surgery * Monty reminisces about a kinky ex-flame * The gentlemen consider whether everyone is just a submissive who wants to avoid responsibility Buy tickets to thousands of stand-up comedy shows throughout North America at Uncle Monty’s Comedy Tickets. Do we have Patton Oswalt, Ali Wong, or Tom Segura? Does a Larry smoke corn? Speaking of which, get all your Monty merch in the Monty Merch store. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, or wherever content slaves are exploited. Like what we’re doing? Want us to keep doing it? Support us on Patreon.

In this episode, Monty considers owning an emotional support animal to support his hate for his enemies. But first, he confronts El Greco about the allegations regarding the lusty Greek’s unethical non-monogamy. Plus El Greco holds forth on Mike Pence’s piety and suspect sexual orientation. If you like comedy, you’ll love Uncle Monty’s Comedy Ticket Marketplace, which has listings for over 10,000 shows throughout North America. Compare prices and find deals on tickets to see your favorite stand-up comics. Visit the Monty Merch store to get t-shirts, hoodies, and mugs emblazoned with your favorite Uncle Monty artwork and memes. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, or wherever fine digital goods are pirated. Smoke corn, ya Larrys!

This week, we introduce a line of merch based on the aesthetic of white nationalist Steve Bannon. Expect to see a lot of khaki and camo in this sartorial tribute to whiteness. Plus El Greco brings another woman seeking breast augmentation surgery to the podcast. But wait, there’s more: * In a meeting with his life coach, El Greco learns that he sucks at establishing rapport with women * El Greco tries to school us on rapport before realizing most people possess this basic life skill * Monty goes on a rant about nerds while El Greco defends them * KellyAnne Conway proves she’s Trump’s bottom bitch * Monty pitches a scheme to automatically file lawsuits based on microaggressions captured with a bodycam * El Greco flees the podcast when asked whether he’s ethically non-monogamous with the women he dates Buy tickets to see stand-up comedians like Tom Segura, JB Smoove, and Bonnie McFarlane at Uncle Monty’s ticket marketplace Subscribe on iTunes | Google Play | Stitcher

This week we court outrage by delving into race and racism. Was a black guy in the Chinese New Year’s parade doing yellowface? Should Black Panther have been played by a white actor? Send us your hate at unclemonty.net. But wait, there’s more: * How to romance the laundress who cleans your soiled underwear * El Greco befriends Frank the aloof comic book shopkeeper—and hits on Frank’s date * An online date turns into an Amway sales pitch * El Greco goes out with a hot woman and realizes she’s a man Check out our new comedy ticket marketplace at www.unclemonty.net! Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes | Google Play | Stitcher

This week, we’re proud to announce our first sponsor, the National Rifle Association, and offer our totally independent, objective views on last week’s school shooting in Parkland, Florida. Plus: * Is El Greco a bad person for encouraging a woman with a dying husband to have sex with him? * Ned the lawyer has a diarrhea emergency while stalking his ex-girlfriend * Fun with fake profiles on OK Cupid * What attracts women to celebrity serial killers? * El Greco’s many narrow escapes when caught cheating * Revisiting a high school football coach who faked his own death

We kick off this episode with an update on El Greco’s night at the 2018 Ovation Awards in L.A. Spoiler alert: There was no justice. But you’ll get to hear a killer track from his musical, Siamese Sex Show, featuring rhymes by Cool Keith, J Diggs, Mistah FAB, and other hip-hop stars. If you like it, check out the whole album on iTunes. Speaking of award shows, Monty reminisces about sneaking into the AVN Awards (the Oscars of porn) in Las Vegas. But wait, there’s more: * Getting to know the woman you love by digging through her garbage * The perils of dating a woman who works at a massage parlor * El Greco gets an unexpected visit from a 250-pound woman who’s DTF * El Greco takes a woman to his plastic surgeon for a boob job * Boob-job woman throws shit all over El Greco’s car, and it turns him on * Boob-job woman offers to buy El Greco a monkey, leading him to suspect the shit was monkey shit Do we have merch? Does a Larry smoke corn? Support us on Patreon!

The gentlemen dissect a short story, “Cat Person,” which appeared recently in the New Yorker. Like the Aziz Ansari situation, it’s not clear which character in this story is more despicable: the flaky 20-year-old female protagonist or the pathetic 30-something bear she regrets having fucked. Then the conversation turns to El Greco’s award nomination for the musical he wrote and produced last year. The effusive dramaturge withholds nothing while describing the haughty actors who took offense to his irreverent, politically incorrect script. Plus more tidbits: * El Greco’s adventure with Amway * San Francisco’s pitiful theater scene * That time crazy Roy turned the tables on his boss

The gentlemen deliver the definitive analysis of the Aziz Ansari scandal with a close reading of the Babe.net article that started it all. Amusing asides punctuate the narrative, including: * What the f*ck is “the claw?” * El Greco’s patented line for avoiding sexual misunderstandings * Dealing with post-coital buyer’s remorse * Remembering a younger woman with daddy issues * More adventures at the unemployment office Follow us on Facebook and Twitter @unclemontypod. Become a patron at patreon.com/unclemonty. Anything helps…even a smile. God bless.