Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E15 of The X-Files – “DeadAlive” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what Monica Reyes is “open” to and how, over the course of 3 seasons, we managed to forget about the nano-robots in Skinner’s blood. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E14 of The X-Files – “This Is Not Happening” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what space ranch is like, Alison’s incredible new catchphrase, and whether or not this is, in fact, happening. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E13 of The X-Files – “Per Manum” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as why this episode seemed like a literal fever dream, all our sex ed questions asked but not answered, and a heartfelt apology straight from the caboose.  

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E11 of The X-Files – “The Gift” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what this episode was about, the intricacies of human-shaped barf, and who the all-time most tempting X-Files character is. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E06 of The X-Files – “Redrum” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how a couple titans of Scandal spooked it up in the year 2k, the importance of succinct note-taking, and for some reason way too much information about some croissants Alison ate. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E05 of The X-Files – “Invocation” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as our best ghost tips for getting retribution, why ponies hate horny teens, and the only dang thing that Doggett cares about. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E04 of The X-Files – “Roadrunners” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such how to summon a slug god, which poem Alison’s college professor deemed ‘too orgasmic’ and why we actually enjoyed this episode. (Believe me, we’re as surprised as you.) 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E02 of The X-Files – “Without” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what makes a special boy, the best way to find out if your friend is an alien doppelganger, and who’s really the top Doggett around here. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S08E01 of The X-Files – “Within” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how to be a good landlord, the best new cryptid in town, and how glad we are to see the best little boy in Arizona. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap the ULTIMATE episode of The X-Files Season 7  – Requiem” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how that baby’s head so big, the only thing Chris Carter thinks Scully is good for, and how Todd Howard finally finally finally killed Fox Mulder. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap the PENULTIMATE episode of The X-Files Season 7  – “Je Souhaite” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how much glass Alison ate before recording, how to spot an incel, and all three of the wishes definitely historically wished by Tricky Dick and Mussolini. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S07E20 of The X-Files – “Fight Club” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what Cathy is up to these days, all about Alison’s days at make-out creek, and how you’re supposed to know whether something is funny– oh wait! Mark Snow’s got your back.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S07E15 of The X-Files – “En Ami” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as which bra is best when you’re wearing a wire, whether Season 7 can possibly get any worse, and who is the target of the Double X-Files Cake Crimes Division’s latest case.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S07E05 of The X-Files – “Rush” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what Ludicolo’s “hat” is made of, how Alison survived their high school sleepovers, and whether we need a new drug. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S07E04 of The X-Files – “Millennium” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how much salt i can fit in my mouth, a concise naming of every book of the bible, and the latest pain in our asses. 

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E20 of The X-Files – “Three of a Kind” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how to get the girl (stalk her,) all about our favourite yule lads, and what to do if you disturb a gerblin nest.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E19 of The X-Files – “The Unnatural” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as cactus grudges, Duchovny’s writing debut, and the origins of the big beautiful game we know as based ball.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E18 of The X-Files – “Milagro” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as the lowdown on Christmas meat, all the creeps that are fit to print, and why there’s no romance in being a writer.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E17 of The X-Files – “Trevor” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as whether we’re excited for Detective Pikachu, our important Shrek-based self-care activities, and the most difficult autopsy Scully has faced yet.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E16 of The X-Files – “Alpha” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as which Recess alumni got nasty first, whether it’s time to take Scully off a pedestal, and why they say LA’s streets are paved with gold.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E15 of The X-Files – “Arcadia” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as the hottest new mailbox flavour, what our main man Big Mike from ER has been up to, and why Scully really needs that video camera.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E14 of The X-Files – “Monday” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how to break into background acting, why this show’s women continue to lack agency, and what Mulder’s really keeping under the covers.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E13 of The X-Files – “Agua Mala” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as the best place to grow primitive clams, diva cup innovations and what we’re selling at the farmer’s market this fall.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E12 of The X-Files – “One Son” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how you can be the King Midas of your own feet, our best closet strategies, and all the best ched from the Tillamook Zepplin Hangar.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E11 of The X-Files – “Two Fathers” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as why we’re on the outs with Gritty, all the best basketball slang and what cool new thing kids are doing with Subway sandwiches.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E10 of The X-Files – “Tithonus” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as where Dick Clark starts and ends, the best way to photograph a ghost, and how wearing shoelaces could be your… undoing.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E09 of The X-Files – “S.R. 819” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as the best (or worst?) kind of yams, what robocop was really about, and the plot of Alison’s flirty new drama series.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E08 of The X-Files – “The Rain King” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how to be nice guy, Plane Juice: why so refreshing? and all the wettest weather wind-ups you’ve been waiting for.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E07 of The X-Files – “Terms of Endearment” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as if we’ll ever see Diane again, how this show painted a gaslighting literal demon as a tragic figure, and the Great Wreath Conspiracy– have we finally cracked it?

CW: Please be aware that because we are recapping this episode of the X-Files, there is discussion of abortion, ableism and gaslighting.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E06 of The X-Files – “How The Ghosts Stole Christmas” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as lipgloss eaters, whether Mulder’s Mom is still alive, and of course: bee science.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E05 of The X-Files – “Dreamland Part 1” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as dorm room bediquette, an in-depth expose on cat litter, and the one mystery we are able to solve: sex mirrors.

Join just Alison again for the thrilling conclusion that is XX Files Millennium Variety Hour Pt. 2 where, because they were too sick to record before Courtney went on vacation, they will perform for you a dramatic reading of the 4th act of the 2nd episode of Chris Carter’s opus Millennium, and get pretty bummed out.

Join just Alison for the XX Files Millennium Variety Hour Pt. 1 where, because they were too sick to record before Courtney went on vacation, they will perform for you a dramatic reading of the 1st act of the 2nd episode of Chris Carter’s opus Millennium, and a ukulele cover of the 1st track off Will Smith’s 2nd opus, Willennium.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E04 of The X-Files – “Dreamland Part 1” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how to keep warm during long Canadian winters, what the absolute hands-down worst state is, and how Chris Carter really feels about women.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E03 of The X-Files – “Triangle” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such whether we can sustain a serious conversation about the long-term effects of an American exceptionalist perspective, how to start a romance without agency, and why a long shot sometimes misses.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E02 of The X-Files – “Drive” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as our favourite niche youtube genres, the budgetary reckoning we’ve all been waiting for, and how no amount of stunt-casting can redeem an intentionally anti-semitic character.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S06E01 of The X-Files – “The Beginning” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as where cacti come from, who’s on da woose, and what really inspired Guillermo Del Toro’s monster fish-fucking epic, “The Shape Of Water.”

We did it! We’re finished Fighting The Future! Here’s Part 4, now we can shuffle off to our eternal rest. What do you mean we have to start Season 6 next week?!

This time we try desperately to answer such unsolved mysteries as whether the X-Files have re-opened for good (fart noise), whether the truth can set you bee, and how Mulder can lift Scully AND climb out of an antarctic ice tube when we all know he ain’t that cut.

Everyone knows the best part of a feature-length film is it’s 3rd quarter! It’s time for Part 3 of Fight The Future.

This time we try desperately to answer such unsolved mysteries as first kiss etiquette, the whole plot of this god damn show, and how many bones humans have anyways?!

I know you’ve been patiently waiting for Part 2 of our coverage of The X-Files: Fight The Future and the wait is over!

This time we try desperately to answer such unsolved mysteries as the intricacies of regional playground nomenclature, how to properly ruin a palaeontology symposium, and (FINALLY) where dem bees at?!

Look, kids. There comes a time in every X-Files podcast’s run when they have to confront the inevitable: some ding-dong executive in 1998 gave Chris Carter a cool 66mil to make an X-Files feature film. And now? We’ve gotta watch the fucker.

Here’s Part 1 of our coverage of The X-Files: Fight The Future, where we try desperately to answer such unsolved mysteries as how to make sure your skull stays impenetrable long after your death, why John Locke is here, and exactly which future y’all were tryin’ to fight, on account of the one we’re in sucks so bad.

Join Courtney and Alison for the ULTIMATE episode of The X-Files Season 5 – “The End” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how to improve the long-cancelled series Baywatch, why we aren’t allowed to take a rorschach test, and what we’re all supposed to do now that the X-Files have been officially closed for the fifth consecutive time.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S05E19 of The X-Files – “Folie A Deux” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how to effectively haunt your loved ones, what Alison’s ‘type’ is, and all about our good ol’ college days.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S05E17 of The X-Files – “All Souls” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what fresh Gatorade flavours we’re pitching, who allowed us to discuss catholicism once again, and how Courtney managed to land a literal angel as a co-host.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S05E16 of The X-Files – “Mind’s Eye” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as how 90’s television normalized ableist stereotypes, our top three jam flavours, and why those birds cluster on your lawn every night — you know what you did.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S05E15 of The X-Files – “Travelers” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as why this episode was supposed to have been interesting, what our upcoming modern art installation is all about, and the best thing on the menu at Old Spaghetti Factory.

Join Courtney and Alison as they recap S05E14 of The X-Files – “Patient X” – and learn about amazing unsolved mysteries such as what the resistance could learn from Swiss Chalet, the difference between a rule and a law, and how to definitely not protect yourself from UV rays.