Every Friday I meet with three guys at a coffee shop to talk about life. Our lives. Last week we were talking about our values. I asked, “If you were videotaped for a week, would it show you were supporting what you say you value?" A couple of the guys were really impacted by the concept. I've heard aspects of this idea before and you normally follow it with questioning if your values are really what you say they are. But, I think our values are generally solid, we just often fail to make supporting them a true priority. Let's walk through the Ziglar Wheel of Life and consider what values we are and are not supporting.

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In the last show I talked with licensed therapist and renowned relationship expert, Nedra Glover Tawwab. Her new book is called, Consider This: Reflections For Finding Peace. As I chew on the message, I’m wondering if “finding peace” is honestly attractive to people. Before my mid forties, if you’d tried to entice me with the hope of finding peace, I’m not sure I would have given you much attention. The prior 25 years I spent going full tilt. Anxiety was fine. I think I thought it was even fun. And yet it was in my mid 40s that I started experiencing the consequences of a lack of peace. The question is then, what is your relationship with peace? And it’s opposite, anxiety?

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Nedra Glover Tawwab is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Drama Free and Set Boundaries, Find Peace and I’ve had her on this show to talk about the messages in both of those books. Boundaries specifically is an area I greatly struggle with. Nedra is a licensed therapist and renowned relationship expert and has appeared as an expert on The Red Table Talk, The Breakfast Club, Good Morning America, and CBS This Morning, to name a few. She has a popular Instagram account @nedratawwab with over 1.8 million followers and recently spent a year posting what she called, daily nuggets, with the goal of uplifting, supporting and guiding her audience deeper into themselves. But what she revealed was that her primary muse was herself. These writings were what she needed to hear and hold onto for herself. She created a book from the entire year called, Consider This: Reflections For Finding Peace. The book has no chapters and is more like a daily devotional for peace. As you’ll hear at the top of our discussion, I feel like the book is an antidote for anxiety. I literally started at the first page and just started pulling out topics that resonated with me. We covered topics such as being aware of the energy we feel from others and guarding ourselves against negative energy. The benefit of making new friends and questioning some of our old friends. Paying attention to the signs when our peace is eroding and Nedra talked about an eye twitch she gets that’s a tell tale sign for her.. When it's appropriate to share about yourself. The difference between a grudge and a boundary. When is anxiety warranted? I think you’ll be inspired and equipped.

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Love & Respect. This is a book that first published in 2004. 20 years ago. I just looked at Amazon and it’s ranked at #885 in all books right now. All. Why is the book so popular? Because it resonates so much with so many people. This week we’ve talked about peacemaking and respect and I thought it relevant to bring this episode back where I talked with the one and only, Dr Emmerson Eggrichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. Please don’t get hung up on the gender aspects. We all desire levels of love and respect. The point Emmerson makes in the book is how they are different and you’ll find some people who feel and speak more towards love or respect and recognizing this will help you understand and connect with people better, especially those closest to you. In this episode I was joined by Tom Ziglar, CEO of Ziglar and son of Zig Ziglar, as we questioned and learned from the master…Dr Emmerson Eggerichs.

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I’m sure you’re aware that the online world is working to get your attention and cater to your desires. But I don’t think many are aware how far the online world is going to cater to your bias and desires. When you type into google or a search engine, it’s feeding you information that is altered to cater to you. When you go look at the news, it may be including or omitting content based on your interests and history. At the end of the day, any online source makes money by catering to you. This is their job. I don’t see it as a conspiracy but just a reality that money leads business. And I don’t see it as a terrible thing in and of itself, but what it ends up doing is feeding us what we want. Not the truth, but what we want. And this skews our lives by having our biases constantly confirmed, and to be truly educated, we need our perspectives questioned and challenged. Let’s look at how.

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As a guy who has focused too much of his life on doing and producing, I am acutely aware that everything I say yes to, everything I give attention to, has a cost. Something else doesn’t get done. Something else doesn’t get attention. There is only so much time in a day and so much space in my brain. In my recent show with Steven T. Collis, law professor at the University of Texas-Austin and one of the nation’s leading thought leaders on the First Amendment and civil discourse, he hits on this in the first chapter of his book, Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues. Habit One in his book is, Intellectual Humility and Reframing and the first sentence of the chapter says, “Most of us need to recognize that, most of the time, we don’t know what we’re talking about.” I’m giving focus to all the issues in our culture. All the front page headlines and stories. All the social media topics. All the current political topics. How on earth are we expected to be on top of them all, and know enough to have a staunch opinion and stance? Let’s look at giving ourselves permission to not know so much about everything. 

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In the last episode I talked with Steven T. Collis, law professor at the University of Texas-Austin and one of the nation’s leading thought leaders on the First Amendment and civil discourse. He just wrote a book, Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues. Steven’s focus is not upholding people’s rights and enforcing law. It’s helping people connect, and remain connected even when they disagree. At the end of the day I felt Steven leading us to the benefit for ourselves and others, or being respectful no matter what. Notice I didn’t say “giving respect,” but being respectful. It’s about you, not them. If I ask most religious people, under what condition would they renounce their beliefs, many would adamantly state, “None! I’d never do it!” Or if I asked many people in America under what conditions would they vote for the other party, they’d say, “Never!” So let me ask, “Under what conditions should you not give respect?” I’m afraid most everyone has a list. Let’s talk about it.

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The First Amendment. Freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, and petition. It is meant to protect our freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, and petition. On this show I sit down with Steven T. Collis. Steven is a law professor at the University of Texas-Austin. He’s a former research fellow at Stanford Law School and is the founding faculty director of the Bech-Loughlin First Amendment Center and is one of the nation’s leading thought leaders on the First Amendment and civil discourse. When there are issues and conflict around First Amendment rights, Steven is one of the first people called in by our nation. He recently wrote a book and the title itself reveals something profound to me. The title of the book is Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues. What does it say about how our culture is treating the First Amendment when one of it’s leading experts doesn’t write a book about what the First Amendment is or how to follow it, but instead speaks instead to the heart of human conflict around people’s conflict with each other? Steven takes his expertise and platform to address what he feels is more important than legalities and right, and goes to where he feels the most hope is. The heart. Habit One in his book is titled, Intellectual Humility and Reframing, and starts off with this statement, “Most of us need to recognize that, most of the time, we don’t know what we’re talking about.” It just gets better. I’m having all my kids listen to this so we can discuss it together. I’d like everyone to hear this before the next election, and I’d recommend giving Steven’s new book, Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues to everyone for Christmas. Actually, give it to them before Thanksgiving and reduce the family tensions by 95%. We argue and make things worse instead of making a difference. Let’s you and I be different. 

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Think about that statement - Your Future Success Equals The Size Of Your Hope. First, how do we define hope? The most common definition is: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Do you expect good things? The opposite of hope is despair. And I’d say, pessimism. Cynicism. And expectation of poor outcomes. It’s what I think of when you complain about something and someone responds with, “Right?!” As if to confirm negative outcomes. Where are you on the scale from complete despair to complete hope? So now imagine if someone offered you $1,000 for every percentage of hope you had inside you. And today you’re at, say 25%. A cool $25,000. You can take that all the way up to 89% and $89,000. But if you hit 90%, you get a million. How would you conduct your life and steer your mental trajectory? What you’re about to hear is a 13 minute clip from Zig Ziglar. One of the most hopeful people I’ve ever encountered. He was possibly the world’s greatest purveyor of hope. A few episodes ago you heard me have a conversation with Seth Godin, who cites Zig as one of his greatest mentors ever, and I felt it was a good time to give Zig some airtime. I believe the following 13 minutes with Zig is worth its weight in gold. Following Zig’s talk I’m joined by his son and longtime CEO of Ziglar, Tom Ziglar, to discuss hope further. I’m bringing back this recording from one of my first podcasts when I was host of The Ziglar Show, from 2016. It still remains one of the most downloaded episodes we ever had on The Ziglar Show. This is an absolute classic.

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To wrap up this series on strategy, there is no need for a strategy and systems and improvement unless there is something that we want. In my conversation with Seth Godin talking through the messages in his new book, This Is Strategy: Make Better Plans, as he focused on marketing, he said there are 3 things people want. Which means, they are the same three things we want. I found it to be a needed reminder as I try to serve an audience, and…I am an audience, for the world. I’ll take you through them in a moment.

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