Episode Credits 

• Grief, Collected is a production of The Mash-Up Americans
• Executive produced by Amy S. Choi and Rebecca Lehrer
• Senior editor and producer is Sara Pellegrini
• Development Producer is Dupe Oyebolu
• Production manager Shelby Sandlin
• Original music composed by The Brothers Tang
• Sound design support by Pedro Rafael Rosado
• Website design by Rebecca Parks Fernandez
• Grief, Collected was supported in part by a grant from The Pop Culture Collaborative

The LahPai family’s arrival to Virginia from Myanmar was highly anticipated: the local resettlement agency prepped their home; the local religious community was ready to provide support; the family’s U.S connection lived just minutes down the street. Even with these support systems, resettlement was (and still is) not a straightforward, clean-cut process.

Why is that? In this debut episode from Resettled — a series by Virginia Public Media about the real experiences of refugees after they arrive to the U.S. — you'll meet the people helping the LahPais during their early days of resettlement... and explore some of the unexpected difficulties that arise when moving to a new country, a new culture and a new life.

Episode Credits:

• Resettled is a production of VPM
• Produced by Gilda di Carli and edited by Kelly Jones, with oversight from Angela Massino and Nate Tobey
• Hosted by Ahmed Badr
• Production management by Gavin Wright
• Steve Humble is VPM’s Chief Content Officer
• Music for this episode by Sandhill and Blue Dot Sessions.

Special thanks from VPM:

• Thanks to Catherine Komp, Zar Wahidi, Yasmine Jumaa and interns Safiya Ahmed and Helen Zein Eddine, along with the folks at NPR’s Story Lab for helping kickstart the podcast.
• Thanks to Leslie Bretz, Louise Keeton and Michael Hayes for web and digital support.

More photos and stories available at vpm.org/resettled.

Today, we're sharing some work by our friends at Immigrantly, a weekly podcast that features deeply personal conversations about race, identity, and the immigrant experience. This episode features a conversation between host Saadia Khan and reporter Neda Toloui-Semnani, who wrote a book called THEY SAID THEY WANTED REVOLUTION: A Memoir of My Parents.

To finish that book, Neda went through a whole journey to learn about the life her parents lived before she was born, understand why they moved from the U.S. to Iran to join the revolution taking place there in 1979, and unpack what kind of legacy they had left for her in the process. You can listen to Immigrantly wherever you get your podcasts, or learn more at immigrantlypod.com.

Immigrantly Episode Credits:

• Host & Producer: Saadia Khan 
• Content Writer: Ashley Lanuza & Saadia Khan
• Editorial Review: Yudi Li 
• Sound Designer & Editor: Manni Simon
• Immigrantly Theme Music: Evan Ray Suzuki 
• Other Music: Epidemic Sound

Please take our listener survey to tell us what you think of Before Me! The survey is anonymous, takes 5 minutes, and is incredibly important for helping us take our next steps as an independent studio for stories by and about Asian Americans. We use your answers to better understand your needs as a listener — but we also use your feedback to show how we’re making an impact as we raise funds for our next new podcast season or storytelling program.

Just before I gave birth to my daughter Acacia, I turned 36. And on my birthday my mom sent me a birthday card that was full of heartfelt words — more than she’d ever written to me before. On the last night of her visit to help me take care of Acacia, as she read the card aloud, I realized how I was — and still am — a part of the lives that came before me.

Full show notes, photos, credits, and transcript on our web site.

At the moment my mom steps onto a small fishing boat off the coast of Cambodia, headed for a refugee camp in Thailand under cover of night, she becomes the head of our family. It takes her less than a year to make it safely to her new home in New York, give birth to me, and learn how to be a single parent in the U.S. But it will end up taking her decades to process what she’s overcome, what she’s become, and what she’s left behind on the beaches of Cambodia.

Full show notes, photos, credits, and transcript on our web site.

Reunited with my cousin Lynn, my mom becomes a gold dealer to support her growing family — and realizes that the charmed childhood she had in Cambodia is nowhere to be found for her own kids. She recounts the joyful memories that helped her hold on for more than five years as a refugee in Vietnam, before making the decision to leave both countries for good.

Full show notes, photos, credits, and transcript on our web site.

As the genocidal regime of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge takes hold of Cambodia, my mom and dad run for their lives — separated from my cousin, Lynn, who is then faced with keeping her siblings alive in a forced labor camp.

Full show notes, photos, credits, and transcript on our web site.

When I became a parent, my mom flew across the country to help me take care of my firstborn child. And opened up to share a story I’d never fully heard, about her firstborn child — the sister I’ve never met.

Full show notes, photos, credits, and transcript on our web site.

Lisa Phu grew up telling a story about how her family left Cambodia as refugees, to start a new life in the United States — but for the longest time, she’d never heard this story firsthand, from her mom, Lan.

After Lisa gave birth to her first daughter, her mom flew across the country to meet her first grandchild. And during that visit, she finally shared the real story with Lisa. About growing up in Cambodia, fleeing genocide by the Khmer Rouge, surviving as a gold dealer in Vietnam, building a home in America while navigating the fallout and traumas of war… and carrying the future of four children with her throughout the journey.

Before Me follows one woman’s life, from Cambodia to America, over the course of decades. But it also follows a long overdue conversation between mother and daughter, about their family’s history — through death and birth, separation and reunion, endings and beginnings.

Because while we may never fully understand the reality of those who came before us, every story is a chance to get closer. And in listening, find meaning in what’s been preserved.

During November and December 2022, Self Evident is presenting Before Me through our podcast feed.

It's a brand new audio series we're launching in partnership with Lisa, and we hope you'll join us in listening and sharing the story as it unfolds, week by week.

Learn how to conduct an oral history interview with your loved ones at selfevidentshow.com/history.

To meet other listeners of Self Evident and Before Me, and get started on your own oral history journey, join our Discord community at selfevidentshow.com/participate.