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Submit ReviewIs it feasible to start your pro-Domme career at age 43? This married woman with kids wants to get back in the life.
A lesbian is married to a woman with a Catholic upbringing and actively religious family. They live in a country where they have to pay dues to the church. When her wife goes to Catholic ceremonies like baptisms and funerals, the caller feels white hot fury. Should she let her wife go with the conservative flow, or fight it? Dan’s answer…may shock you.
On the Magnum, Dan chats with comedian and writer Zach Zimmerman about threesomes as gay privilege,
sleeping (or flirting) with your landlord and whether posthumous outing is ok.
Also, you Magnum subs will learn a little something VERY personal about Dan Savage.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
A theme emerges! Sadly, the theme is seeing your dad’s dick. Would you be able to pick out your dad’s dick in a dick line-up? No, you would not.
A woman’s brother is about to do time for pedophilia. Compounding the tragedies here, the caller has lost all sense of her own sexuality due to her brother’s crimes. How can she get back to herself?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with artist, writer and gay activist Leo Herrera on gay men using words like “pussy” and “mangina” to refer to their butts. They also get into how the concept of “breeding” came to be used as a sexual term.
And, a straight man wonders why he feels so much better after having partnered sex, as opposed to masturbation.
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
Get your M n’ Ms: www.PlanCpills.org
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
Have you ever been to a terribly complicated orgy? This one promises to be epic. Hear about the game they invented called “Spin the Bottom.”
A trans woman has started feeling claustrophobic when she goes down on either her male or female partner. Oral is her favorite! What gives?
On the Magnum and the Micro, Dan welcomes professor and sex researcher Dr. Lori Botto to talk about the nature of asexuality. Is it mutable? Can you be in a relationship if you’re ace?
On the Magnum, Mistress Matisse is back to help answer some general sex worker questions: a woman is planning a three-way with a sex worker. Should she warn the sex worker that she’s a big ole squirter? A man with sex work in his past isn’t sure how to roll this history out to potential partners. And, how can you achieve poppin’ nips like the strippers have? Matisse handles it all with eloquence and grace.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
A special bonus podcast just for you.
A couple with adult children want to start using apps together. The kids know their mom is bi, but they don’t know about the open relationship. What happens if their kid sees them on one of the apps?
Some people need sexy costumes for their scene. Some people need toys or bondage gear. This lady needs a large quantity of blood.
On the Magnum, have you ever thought about how awkward it would be to have to act in a sex scene? Dan brings on Intimacy Coordinator Jessica Steinrock to explain her profession, how she ensures safety for the actors, and keeps the steamy sex scenes you love ethical. Is the TV/Film industry actually getting its shit together? Probably not! But this is a step in the right direction.
And a lesbian wonders if her relationships always go down in flames because she is *too* understanding and non-judgmental.
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show
What is up with using the word “cuck” as an insult? Has it replaced “faggot” as the slur of choice?
A man has been dating a woman for a few months. He feels they could have long term potential, even with the possibility of children. But! He doesn’t feel a chemical attraction to her pussy like he does with other women. How ill does this bode?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Paul Scheer- actor, comedian and host of the film podcast Unspooled, about the Oscars, belly fetishes, noisy sex and what it’s like to be inundated by the Star Trek fandom.
And, if you use a nipple suction toy, you just might get more than you bargained for…
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
For the stout of heart, if you dare, hear the tale of shibari bondage gone wrong.
A woman had a nice date with a man she suspects is very short. Then he kind of ghosted her. Should she tell him that she doesn’t care about his height?
Drag mega-star Jinkx Monsoon joins Dan in a righteous rant against red state politicians’ cynical attacks on drag performance and trans people. And they call out the silence from high profile “straight allies” who have been profiting off drag for years. Some of this fiery conversation is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.
Finally, more than a few of you will smugly smile when you hear about the cheating man, who dates a cheating woman and they are each mad at each other about all the cheating.
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.
A woman masturbates in her sleep. Although she’s currently single, she worries about times when she has to share a room with family or friends. Should she warn them?
A woman’s sister plans to gallivant off to Texas to meet an online lover for the first time, on his rural cattle ranch, for some no-strings-attached BDSM sex. What could go wrong? The caller plans to slip an air tag in her luggage, and hope for the best.
On the Magnum, Dan brings back anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein. In his practice at Bespoke Surgical, he sees it all: Fistulas. Glands. Fissures. And now you get to hear all about it! Too many doctors dismiss medical problems associated with anal sex, so Dan and the good doctor discuss ways to validate anal health practices. He and Dan both frown on numbing lubes. And the debate is on: spit or lube?
A man has been married for 20 years. Both he and his wife are bi, but she is no longer interested in sex with him. She has a girlfriend, he has a boyfriend. She has suggested he move in to his boyfriend’s house and that her girlfriend moves in to their house. Can their marriage survive this?
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Ok, let’s say you don’t drink alcohol. But you do drink piss, right? If your lover drank a bunch of beer and then you drank his piss, did you just drink alcohol?
A woman had an affair with a man she had been very close friends with. His wife found out, and it all blew up. He asked to cut off all contact while he fixed things with his wife. She just learned that he has cancer, and the caller wonders if she can reach out to him now. Heart-breaking!
On the Magnum, Dan enlists the help of sex and culture writer Magdalene Taylor to talk about why people are not having enough sex. Her piece in the New York Times paints a very grim picture indeed. Even in Berlin this is happening! Also, the son of a co-worker is spouting some incel ideology online. Should the caller say something to the mom?
And, a woman keeps dating men who look alike! She just started dating a man who looks so much like her nasty ex, that she’s worried people will comment on it. It’s embarrassing, but is it a deal-breaker?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
From the intro:
Weegee’s photo:
https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/263635
Tennessee Governor Bill Lee in drag:
https://twitter.com/HilbillyLiberal/status/1629882528361328641?s=20
Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show! Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at www.stamps.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
How do you organize a sex party with your pals- without it being awkward?
Meanwhile, a woman asked her male friend to join her at a swingers hotel takeover. But she has a crush on him, and now regrets asking him to go. Should she bow out?
On the Magnum, sometimes you need a pelvic floor specialist, am I right? Dan revisits the question of the man who asked if he should surprise his wife with a vibrator after she gave birth, to try to rekindle her sexual desire. Dr. Rachel Gelman, pelvic floor specialist is on to chat about this and a pussy juice mystery.
Finally, it’s label time! What do you call a straight couple that wants to bring in other people to sleep with, but that they also like a lot? What color is this flag?
You guys. We’re running out of colors.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!
A woman has been with her boyfriend for 4 years. He is so wonderful! But…he doesn’t bother to give her orgasms. He has all the orgasms! As many as he wants. Orgasm, orgasm, orgasm. He won’t do anything to get her there. Has she talked to him about this? Yes! She has! He doesn’t care. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Here’s the reason you listen to the show. A man ordered a butt plug, but it arrived broken in two pieces. The question? What kind of glue should he use to fuse it back together?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Diana Adams: international legal advocate for LGBTQ+, non-nuclear, & polyamorous families. Diana goes over some of the issues in setting up different family structures for queer and poly folks. It’s a brave new world, and Diana is here to guide us through it.
And, a woman is disenchanted with hook-up culture. She wants sexual intimacy, but no penetration. She is also interested in BDSM. But she has a hard time saying no to men when they pester her for sex. How can she find the right man to thread her needle?
Q@Savage.Love 206-320-2064
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
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Your place or mine? A recently divorced woman wants to sleep around. Is it safer to have men come to her house, or should she go to theirs?
A married man remembers a fling he had decades ago. But it’s a bit of a blur. They were drinking, but he vaguely remembers not wearing a condom. As she was cheating on her boyfriend at the time, she asked him to cut off contact afterward, which he happily obliged. But now he wonders if he possibly could be the father of her (now adult) child. And if so, should he reach out to her and offer some kind of support?
On the Magnum, Dan brings back the naughtily delicious comedian Zach Noe Towers to advise a newly out man on how to speak gay. They also get deep and real talking about sex after recovery, and then things get weird with a discussion about tiny, sharp, spiky spines on some men’s dicks. Tuck in.
A man in his late 40s is happily married to his wife for 20 years. They are swingers. He’s been fantasizing about being with men, but when the opportunity arrises he chickens out. Would a trans woman work for him?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
A tortured, indecisive woman is on the fence about whether to continue her relationship with her husband of 11 years. Every day she wakes up wondering, “Is this right?” Is this normal?
Hear the cautionary tale of the professional cuddler in an ethically non-monogamous relationship with a would-be dom and his much, much younger co-worker. Your life will suddenly feel manageable.
On the Magnum, RIVAL relationship advice maven Damona Hoffman from the Dates & Mates podcast is on to swap strategies. What do you do with a man at a sex party who uses the same condom with 4 women? They also discuss race issues while dating, power dynamics and much more.
And, a man has started dating a bearded guy. He likes the beard, but has only seen pictures of his boyfriend unshaven, and feels he has a right to see his face without all the bush. Does he have this right?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!
A man wants to partake in some orgies with his girlfriend. But he loses his erection when there are other men in the room. How can he teach his boner to come out and play?
Meanwhile, a man in a 6-year relationship hasn’t had sex in the past 3 years because his girlfriend just doesn’t wanna anymore. They’ve talked and talked and talked. Is it worth going to couple counseling to try to work it out?
On the Magnum, how can you turn your vanilla man into a dom? Naturally, Dan brings in the ultimate expert- Lina Dune from “Ask a Sub.” They talk about topping from the bottom, bottoming from the top and the social media censorship that is wrecking good sex education.
A woman was driving, minding her own business, when she saw the driver next to her had his laptop facing OUT, showing porn. Is this the new flasher style? Should she have called the cops?
Q@savage.love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Fabric by Gerber Life- making it easy to get high quality, affordable life insurance for you and your family. Go to MeetFabric.com/Savage today.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
A woman remembers with shame how she reacted when her then-boyfriend came out to her as bisexual. She hasn’t talked to him in 9 years and wants to apologize. Should she? How?
For you sci-fi pervs, what happens to the “eggs” that get deposited with an ovipositor dildo?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Samantha Cole, senior editor for Vice Media, about her new book “How Sex Changed The Internet And The Internet Changed Sex.” They discuss ancient history of the internet, how furries built the web, Fosta/Sesta and a ton more.
And, a trans man got herpes from a pre-transition hook-up. Now when he discloses his herpes status first thing on Grindr, men reject him. But when he puts it at the end of his profile, they get mad. Should he disclose at all?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
A woman is head over heels in love with her new boyfriend. He is a cross-dresser and they both enjoy exploring this kink together. The problem? He isn’t interested in having sex with her and it’s shredding her self confidence.
A man is seeing two women in a poly triad. The second woman struggles to feel included and incorporated in the couple’s life but they make it work. But it all falls apart when time of the month rolls around, and then she becomes unkind, needy and too demanding for the caller. He feels like an emotional punching bag.
On the Magnum: A true blue, long time-listener, first-time caller has the hots for our long-suffering medical expert Doc Barak! To reward her, Doctor B employs his smoldering voice to explain athletes feet, an acne-like condition which afflicts sweaty parts of the body, and how to date a doctor when he’s too tired out from residency to fuck.
Finally, a woman new to town wants to set up a gang bang for herself. In her vision, it would be loving and respectful, with her as the center of worship by many men. How can she make this happen safely?
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
Happy New Year dear listeners!
Things are starting off great! A listener discovered an old journal left behind from her newly ex-boyfriend. It contained erotic fantasies about a previous girlfriend’s…daughters. So, the conundrum: Should the caller tell his ex about his written fantasies? Should she burn it and forget the whole thing? Or calmly hand it back, looking him squarely in the eye?
Dan couldn’t resist chatting with porn star Leo Louis because he digs guys who look like Janice from the Muppets.
On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Jason Roeder, a former senior editor at The Onion. His new book, "Griefstrike: The Ultimate Guide To Mourning"- is a very funny book about grief. They talked about grieving conventions and advised a listener with a wrenching quandary.
And, two women are each dating stinky men. These fellas refuse to use products to mitigate the powerful waft. How can they make their deodorant-discordant relationships work?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Fabric by Gerber Life- making it easy to get high quality, affordable life insurance for you and your family. Go to MeetFabric.com/Savage today.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!
A trans man has heard that desperate straight men have been scouring Grindr looking for trans men because they will accept any vagina at all. Is it true? How can he weed out these unscrupulous, horny cads?
As a woman from Texas was researching how to obtain a medical abortion, a scammy, stealth anti-abortion “pregnancy crisis counseling clinic” came up on Google. And even worse, it’s the center where her mother works. Now the caller doesn’t know whether to tell her mother she had the abortion, or how to maintain a peaceful relationship with her.
On the Magnum, we welcome the great, great grandchildren of Emily Post! Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning are carrying on the family tradition with the Awesome Etiquette Podcast and the Centennial Edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette. So what on earth are they doing on the Savage Lovecast? Why, they answer questions about chastity cages of course! They are delightful, as you will find out when you listen.
And, he has tried to break up with her. Really he has. But she physically puts her body between him and the door. So, now that he is watching her cats while she’s gone, should he boogie real quick?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
A short man who is newly returned to the dating world finds his height is disqualifying him from a lot of women. Does this happen in gayland?
A 39 year-old straight man just can't keep an erection when he's wearing a condom? How common is this condom conundrum?
On the Magnum, comedian Matteo Lane DARED to start an advice segment in his comedy routine. Dan drags him on the show to test his advice-giving chops, and to talk about sleeping with homophobes, and being monogamous under duress.
And, it’s an NB extravaganza! Three calls in a row from or about non-binary folks.
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
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This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money ( formerly known as Truebill.) Rocket Money is the easiest way to manage your expenses, cancel unwanted subscriptions, lower bills, and track your spending – all in one place. Go to RocketMoney.Com/Savage
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
A GGG wife wants to give her man the thing he most wants: his tongue in her ass. But she’s so ding-dang ticklish down there, it’s a no go! How can she learn to suppress her (not sexy) giggles?
A former stripper now has a “straight” job. But her co-workers are a nest of slut-shaming, sex-negative, misogynistic vipers who don’t know that she did sex work before. Should she keep her mouth shut, or tell them off?
On the Magnum we are always so happy to bring on our favorite sex toy expert- cartoonist Erika Moen. If you must buy things over the holidays, let those things be sex toys. We hear from a diabetic man who has learned that COCK RINGS are here to save his erections. And a large woman wants a toy to help her better enjoy doggity style. Pragmatic solutions abound.
And, an Australian erotic masseuse hopes that the copious layer of oil he applies for his “nude slides” will protect him against STIs.
There’s always hope.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
A 32 year-old man had a cold sore once when he was 15. Does he now have to disclose this every time he goes in for a kiss?
As a man’s 20 year marriage was ending, he had an affair with an old friend. They were together for 2 1/2 years after the marriage ended. To this day his kids won’t forgive him for this. How can he win them back?
On the Magnum, Dan brings back our resident STI expert, Dr. Ina Park, to discuss warts that just won’t quit, telling the jerk you slept with that you have some gonorrhea, and, how to prevent recurring unitary tract infections after anal sex. Enjoy!
And, a woman broke up with her boyfriend of 8 months. He just couldn’t commit to her, saying she was…”too confident,” and his mother agrees. (It’s genetic!) Her question is whether these hurtful words should end any friendship after the breakup or should she keep him in her life? Dan’s answer may…NOT surprise you.
Q@savage.love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
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A gay man seeks out masseuses who turn out to be erotic body workers. They initiate a sexual encounter, which the caller enjoys very much. But is it wrong to see them? And why do they recoil when he tries to touch them?
Night Terror! A woman had a great time with a dom who tied her up and got her deep into sub space, with no sex. He slept on the couch. But that night she woke him up screaming from a nightmare. He got out of there fast. Now, he’s annoyed with her, and she feels abandoned.
On the Magnum, Dan brings on Evan Urquhart, a trans man who covers trans issues for Slate. They talk about “chasers” -people who are specifically attracted to trans folks. They also dig into the confusion around trans women vs. cis male cross-dressers.
And, is there such a thing as a kink for infidelity? A woman loves to sneak around and have private adventures. But she doesn’t want to hurt her girlfriend. Is there a way she can satisfy her need to break some rules within the confines of an ethical non-monogamous relationship?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is supported by Dear Headspace, an original podcast from Headspace. Hear meditation teachers counsel real people with real problems.
For a 30-day free trial of Headspace, go to www.headspace.com/podcast
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money ( formerly known as Truebill.) Rocket Money is the easiest way to manage your expenses, cancel unwanted subscriptions, lower bills, and track your spending – all in one place. Go to RocketMoney.Com/Savage
Her new boyfriend has been caught in an extortionist’s web. He wanked to a woman’s video online and she sent him and the caller video, threatening to send it far and wide if he didn’t pay her. Now the caller is wondering if this is just how the ride is gonna be with this guy.
Good news- monkeypox is on the run! Dan chats with our house monkeypox expert, Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about how gay men were able to change their behavior and bring infections down by 90%.
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Inanna Justice about her new book: Heart of the Dominatrix.
And, help this leather party newbie figure out what to do with her socks when she arrives at the event.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
She used to masturbate as often as 20 times in day. But after getting on medication for depression, her libido crashed. She’s off the meds now, but still hasn’t regained her mojo. How can she recover her lost sex drive?
A woman went to a sex club with her husband for the first time. It went swimmingly. But the next day she felt depleted and unsexy. What happened? Is Post-Sex Club Letdown a known syndrome?
On the Magnum it’s advice columnist v. advice columnist! Dan brings on actor and journalist Ben Dreyfuss to talk about advice columns, throw some shade, cast some aspersions and generally dish about the genre.
And a we close with a couple questions about ethical non-monogamy. A man wonders when in the dating process to bring up his preference for ENM. And, a woman is dating a gal who is only reluctantly consenting to ENM. How can she teach her to embrace an open relationship?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
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A FREE Sex & Politics, just for you, Micro listener!
Here is the show which came out on September 29, 2022.
It's a conversation with Mike Pesca, host of The Gist and Not Even Mad. Dan and Mike get on like a house on fire, and we thought you might enjoy just a taste of the goodies that Magnum listeners get all the time. If you like this, please consider becoming a Magnum Sub over at Savage.Love.
Ok, here’s the problem: She gets too wet. She only recently learned how to orgasm, and now she’s making up for lost time. But her skilled boyfriend needs a little more…friction. What can they do?
A gay man got an anonymous text saying that a friend of his is a rapist and a predator. This friend has never showed any sign of such evil behavior. The caller is torn between believing victims and trusting his friend.
On the Magnum, in the birth control/abortion feuds, we’ve been getting it all wrong. We should stop focusing on ovulation and target ejaculation. Gabrille Blair who wrote Ejaculate Responsibly after a tweet went viral, talks about how impractical and unfair our current thinking is. And this Mormon mother of 6 does know a thing or two about birth control…
And, a man’s girlfriend of 7 short months, announced that she just might be NB or even trans, but she isn’t sure. When the caller told her he is only attracted to women, she took it back just to save the relationship. But he can’t unhear what she told him and now he wonders if he should break up.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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Family drama ahoy! A married man is in a carefully constructed open relationship. But when his wife’s sister found out about it, she went ballistic and told the whole family. Now the caller is cut off from his in-laws, and never gets to see them. He and his wife are buying a house, and his in-laws want to pop over and check it out. Should he leave for a few hours and let them in?
A queer woman has a crush on her tattoo artist. She knows the crush is in an open relationship, and that their partner is hot too. Would it be too forward to propose a three-way?
On the Magnum, have you ever been broken up with via text? Have you ever dumped someone that way? Dan brings on comedian Allison Goldberg, creator of “How to Break Up By Text” to talk about this modern etiquette crisis.
A gay man is in a happy relationship with his older boyfriend. But oh how he misses the orgies. His boyfriend isn’t interested in apps or bathhouses, or any such thing. He’s willing to pick someone up in a bar, but since they are both homebodies, it’s unlikely to happen. Is it ultimatum time?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
Read Dan’s column at Savage.Love.
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A woman just broke up with her boyfriend (for unknown reasons.) He used to shower her with praise. “You could be a fashion model!!” Now that’s he’s gone, how can she find another man to who will heap her with the praise she needs and craves?
On the Magnum, Dan keeps Halloween holy by inviting scream queen Kate Siegel (The Haunting of Hill House, Ouija: Origin of Evil, Midnight Mass etc.,) to discuss relationship drama, and when to back off already. These two are like a couple of giggling sisters with a bowl of popcorn. Also, find out what Dan does every year at his house on Halloween.
Dan chats with a gay man whose partner has unilaterally turned off the sex spigot. The boyfriend compares his disinterest in sex with the caller’s disinterest in discussing philosophy. Can this relationship survive?
When doctors go wild: She used to be a straight-laced proper lady doctor. She was engaged to a man, and a virgin at that. Then she met the caller, started dating her, and is now dabbles in drugs and tattoos. But the question here folks, is how can the caller bust her former doctor’s very intact hymen.
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
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A married woman is pregnant with her second child. Over the years she has become more and more interested in kink and rough sex. But her husband feels pressure to be more dominant. Will she go back to preferring vanilla sex once the pregnancy hormones are gone? Why does she suddenly feel this way?
A gay man uses numbing cream to counter his premature ejaculation. When he’s topping during anal sex, is he ethically obliged to disclose this?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Elisa Wells from PlanCPills.org to talk about the accessibility of medical abortion. The pills that end an unwanted pregnancy are safer than viagra. Wells and her team are working to make sure every woman in America has access to this medication.
A woman’s new boyfriend is into scat. He wants to watch her on the toilet. The woman is considering indulging him but wants to understand this fetish better. And is there a sexy way to poop?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
Ka-ching! A gay man suddenly found himself in a Fin Dom relationship when a guy dropped $100 in his account and started calling him “sir.” The caller wants to keep it going, but he also wants to make sure it’s ethical.
A student teacher is horrified to hear some of his kids call each other “faggot.” He tries to stop it and comes down hard on the bullies. How can he teach these kids not to use hate speech?
On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” all about squirting. Instead of focusing on the composition of female ejaculate, Swedish sexual health researcher Jessica Påfs looked into women’s reactions to squirting. Some felt like it was a feminist super-power, others felt annoyed and ashamed.
With all the hoopla around the new Jeffrey Dahmer TV show, a caller asks Dan to talk about the victim that he knew in the 80s. Dan does, and it will break your heart.
Could we maybe give the true crime a rest?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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A woman and her boyfriend use condoms. But she really, really wants his come inside her. Can she save some up, wait until there’s no threat of pregnancy, and then use it as lube? How long must she wait?
A woman has always had a hard time reaching orgasm, even before she got on mental health meds. Her girlfriend can come at the drop of a hat. The girlfriend is patient and supportive, but the caller is feeling resentful. Why can’t she come? It’s not fair!
On the Magnum, a caller asked what the hell a “sex therapist” is. Dan brings on newly minted sex therapist Julia Simone Fogelson (LCSW, CST,) to explain her profession. Do sex therapists have sex with their clients? How hard can this job be? Can I become one?
And, although a man and his boyfriend are having the time of their lives using a chastity cage, the caller’s butthole tightens up when he’s using it. How can he ease the situation?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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His last girlfriend was into spanking. They both enjoyed this very much. You know who didn’t enjoy it at all? His dog, who now whimpers whenever it’s master starts kissing someone. How can he train his sensitive pooch to be more kink-positive?
A man is dear friends with a straight couple. But they are breaking up bitterly, and the woman is demanding that he choose between them as friends. How does one navigate this sort of unpleasantness?
On the Magnum, Dan brings back YA author Adam Sass (Surrender Your Sons and The 99 Boyfriends of Micah Summers) to talk about his new book, and how gay-oriented novels are being censored and removed in the places they are most needed.
And, hear Dan counsel a sub with low self-esteem.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
A woman discovered that her 80 year-old father has been downloading porn, and it’s mucking up his computer. She *could* teach him about Pornhub and other streaming sites. But her father already spends too much time in front of a computer, and really could use some exercise and contact with people. Will more porn just isolate him further?
A dom man wants to do anal with his female sub. But she isn’t interested. How can he try to inspire her to be more game without invoking his dom status?
On the Magnum, the interview with beloved monkey pox expert Dr. Carlton Thomas begins innocently enough. Cases are coming down, as more gay men get vaccinated. Then he and Dan veer into wilder territory, and you don’t want to miss it.
A lesbian from Texas has a lot of tattoos. Is it too dangerous to send nudes when she can be so easily identified?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 25% off your first order of $15 or more, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout. Terms apply.
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
If you were married for 13 years and your husband never gave you orgasms, and then when you told him this, he lied and claimed that he was never coming either, would you stay married to him? Would you really?
A gay man worries that he might be freysexual. He loses sexual interest once he gets to know his partners well. Is there a cure for it?
On the Magnum, in a new “What You Got?” Dan interviews Camilla Cenni, a sex researcher who makes a convincing case that monkeys use objects as sex toys.
And, how long should a woman put up with a man who texts and video chats, but refuses to meet in person?
Q@savage.love 206-302-2064
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A straight man in his 40s can only come if his lady is so, so, very wet. Is this a kink? Also, as he and his partners are aging, the likelihood of his finding a woman who can accommodate him diminishes. What can he do to ensure middle aged orgasms for all?
A man’s husband has a lush, silky beard. Other men just need to touch it! The caller hates this, and wishes they would leave his husband’s pretty chin alone. How can he learn to politely rebuff their advances?
On the Magnum, a woman struggles with sex when her boyfriend initiates. Past trauma gets in the way of her enjoyment. Dan brings on Rena Martine, a women’s intimacy coach, and former sex crimes prosecutor to talk about ways of breaking the bad associations between sex and fear. She also advocates for BDSM as a healing modality.
Finally, a gay man just joined a new gym, and finds he’s got some exhibitionist tendencies. But he wants to make sure he’s being a good gym citizen. What is the etiquette amongst the sweaty brotherhood?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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A woman’s fiancé wants her to ride him. She’s game but feels self-conscious because she’s big and has some body issues. He loves her body just as it is. How can she embrace her inner big cowgirl?
A woman is dating a few men casually. Some of these guys do bondage and impact play leaving the evidence on her body, which she really loves. But when she shows up with marks from another man, some of her lovers get angry in a way that feels unsafe to her. How can she resolve this?
On the Magnum, did you know they were suuuuuper kinky in the Middle Ages? Dan chats with Medieval historian Eleanor Janega, about St. Sebastian, the ceiling porn that is the Sistine Chapel, and the timelessness of spankos. Her blog medieval.com/">Going Medieval is a kick- check it out.
And, a man has a crush on his girlfriend’s sister. He’s a bad liar. Should he tell his girlfriend how he feels, or keep it in and wait for the crush to fade?
Q@savage.love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
A tantric tease gave his buddy a long, erotic, boner-ifying massage which the caller describes as the best non-penetrative sex he has had…ever. But the dude is in a monogamous relationship, and because there was no penetration, never considered it cheating. Now the caller is panting with lust and wants more.
A woman’s friend was dating a guy who claimed to be a recovering sex addict. But the caller discovered that he was concurrently dating another woman, telling both of them that they were his one and only. Having learned this, the friend is not quite ready to DTMFA. How can the caller help to get her there?
On the Magnum, Dan politely spars with Katherine Dee, an internet writer who has been following some key players in the “sex negativity movement.” How can we reconcile the promises of the sexual revolution with rising reports of female dissatisfaction? And here’s something you’ve never heard on the Lovecast: “There’s something wrong with you if you’re into bondage.” Somehow, Dan keeps his cool.
And, a bi woman with a boyfriend negotiated an open relationship. She started dating a woman. But when he started sexting with a woman himself, she realized she wasn’t quite ready for non-monogamy after all.
You ready? You sure?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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A polyamorous trilingual woman wants to explore dirty talk. Her lovers all speak different languages. But she finds that when she’s talking dirty in her mother tongue it sounds and feels more aggressive than she would like. Any multi-lingual dirty talkers out there with wisdom to share?
A bi woman and her man used to go to co-ed bathhouses. Once covid hit, they stopped. Now that there’s monkeypox to consider, should they stay out of this bathhouse? Or can they still go if they only play with each other while they’re there? Dan brings on medical writer Benjamin Ryan to go over some pros and cons.
On the Magnum, we present an interesting conundrum and an even more interesting guest. A 45 year-old woman’s parent came out as a trans woman a few years ago. The daughter uses she/her pronouns, but gets hung up when talking about the past. She remembers growing up with a father, not two mothers, and her parent encourages use of the word “dad” to refer to that time. But that’s hard! Dan brings on Chrissy Stroop, an exvangelical writer who came out as trans in 2019, and writes about religion and queer issues.
And, a woman in an open, trusting relationship couldn’t help herself and snooped over a long weekend, rummaging through her boyfriend’s phone. She didn’t find anything questionable, but when she went back to look at his What’sApp, she discovered he’d locked it. He never said anything to her about it. She feels stupid and guilty. Should she come clean? Or sit in the ickiness of her misdeed and vow to snoop no more?
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
A man is about to have his wedding. He and his fiancé are swingers, and he wants the whole wide world to know it. His fiancé is more reticent to let family members know. Should he tell his children that they will be staying at a swinger’s resort after the ceremony and that they plan to bang a couple of their wedding guests?
Monkey pox isn’t going anywhere folks. Dan brings back Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about the vaccine, and how to communicate about it better.
On the Magnum, Dan brings back cherished cartoonist and mental health coach Ellen Forney to talk about mood disorders, and whether to leave your pills out by the bed. Forney’s books “Marbles” and “Rock Steady” are must-haves whether you have bipolar, love someone who does, or are just interested in the subject.
And, meet a woman who embodies the concept of GGG with exceptional valor. Her boyfriend was delighted when she accidentally peed during sex and then asked if she would, well, you know,…poop. Her concern? She’s a giggler and worries she’ll laugh through the whole thing. Is this a fake call meant to invoke the expression “shits and giggles?” Maybe! But it’s podcast gold so…enjoy!
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
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This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
So many bi and adventurous queer men this week! A 61 year-old gay man has never, ever, ever been near a vagina since he emerged from one 6 decades ago…until now. He is seeing a trans man and finds he is loving pleasing him, but can’t quite make penetration work.
And, another gay man had a great time with a trans man. So much so, that he wants to start seeing cis women. Is he ethically obliged to tell them that he has been gay all his life?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Zachary Zane, aka BOYSLUT about being promiscuous in the age of monkeypox, and how to ask politely if the third in your three-way has gotten tested for STIs.
A bi man has been out there seeking casual sex. Is it appropriate to ask a hook-up partner what she would do if she got pregnant, despite their precautions?
Q@savage.Love. 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of up to $15 value, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout when you spend $12 or more. Terms apply.
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We’re putting out a special extra show for you all. It is becoming clear that monkeypox is spreading quickly through the gay community, and that the national response has been disorganized and unclear in its messaging. Dan spoke with Dr. Carlton Thomas, a gastroenterologist, who has been treating gay men, and attests to how painful this disease can be. The two talk about the disease, dispel some myths, and discuss the danger of anonymous, multi-partnered sex right now.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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My boyfriend is TOO HOT! A woman is dating a very gorgeous man. The ladies come running when they walk into the bar, and some of them get nasty. At first the caller found this an exciting turn-on. But now she just feels jealous and demoralized. How can she turn the jealousy into arousal?
A woman was perusing porn, and saw a man she is convinced is her ex. It’s been six years, and they parted amicably. She thinks it’s great that he’s doing this, but she feels compelled to let him know she saw it. Should she?
On the Magnum, we have Dr. Jen Gunter on to talk about the effect abortion bans are having on people’s libidos, and the desire to have kids at all.
A married man has a 4 year-old child that was conceived months into their relationship. In order to diagnose a medical condition the child has, he got some genetic testing done. He discovered that he is not the biological father. He loves his kid thoroughly and loves his fatherhood role. Should they tell the biological father? What if the bio-dad wants to swoop in and demand custody? His own parents cherish being grandparents. Should he tell them? Yowsers, right?
Of note!
On Wednesday, we’ll have an extra Micro/Magnum about Monkeypox. Dr. Carlton Thomas has been in the trenches treating gay men, and it’s…well, it’s horrifying. And for Magnum subscribers, expect a new Sex & Politics!
Q@savage.love 206-302-2064
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A bisexual woman came out to her conservative mother, and amazingly, she didn’t flip out. But she did beg the caller to keep it secret from the rest of the family. Mommy thinks there should be white pride parades. The caller’s girlfriend is Black. What could go wrong?
A transman likes violent sex, almost crossing the line from consensual non-consent into rape. His wife worries that he will resent her for objecting. Therapy for all!
On the Magnum, anxious polyamorists rejoice! Our guest this week is Lola Phoenix, author of The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy. She and Dan talk about the societal pressure non-monogamous folks contend with, and how communication is elevated to an art when you have a bevy of metamours circling around.
A woman is enjoying a short term relationship with a man. She wants to try dom/sub action, specifically being worshiped as a goddess. He’s into it! So what’s the catch? He has erectile dysfunction and won’t get hard during this kind of play. His visual arousal is key to her feeling adored. What’s a goddess to do?
She did the right thing.
She called 206-302-2064 or she recorded her question and sent it to Q@Savage.Love
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This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. To get 50% off your first order of up to $15 value, use promo code SAVAGE at checkout when you spend $12 or more. Terms apply.
This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
A bi man in an open relationship is disgusted by sweat- his lover’s and his own. How can he mitigate his revulsion?
A macho, macho man wants to know why he (or anyone) is into hot wifing. Dan breaks it down and spells it out.
On the Magnum, a man with cerebral palsy doesn’t have use of his hands, and cannot masturbate. Even worse, he lives in a small town, so sex workers are hard to find. Dan chats with disability awareness consultant Andrew Gurza, about sex with disability, and a special sex toy that Andrew created specially for folks like this. Get yourself a Bump’n Joystick or fund someone else who could use one here: https://getbumpn.com
And, guess who’s coming to the wedding? Why, it’s the grooms racist, homophobic, drunk mother! One of the bridesmaids is gay, and dating a trans woman. How can the caller avoid turning her very special day into the shit-show of the century?
Q@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
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Look out, it’s a nibbler! A woman hates the way her new boyfriend kisses her. He nibbles on her lips even though she tells him to knock it off. Is this a worthy reason to dump him?
A married gay man and his husband are newly polyamorous. But the caller wants absolutely nothing to do with his husband’s boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps making friendly overtures, like inviting the caller to parties. Can the caller maintain a social wall keeping invaders out? Should he?
On the Magnum, learn a thing or two about monkeypox with Dr. Ina Park. Dr. Park, author of Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History and Surprising Secrets of STDs, explains how and why this new virus is something for gay men to pay particular attention to.
Meanwhile, a mid 50s woman keeps scoring and getting ghosted by much younger men. Is there something she’s doing wrong? Or right?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
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A gay Irishman had a terribly unpleasant experience, when the man he was screwing twerked and gyrated until it felt like his dick was about to fall off. Is this a thing that’s happening? Or only on the Emerald Isle?
A singer is worried that rough oral sex could harm her vocal cords. But she shouldn’t worry because Dan somehow roped in Jamie Barton, a very delightful mezzo-soprano opera singer to offer her professional reassurance.
On the Magnum, Dan chats with former ugly duckling, current total hottie comedian David Drake. They talk about mining your personal life for comedic material, and whether getting jacked at a massage parlor constitutes cheating. Fun!
And, a caller is convinced that some bad actors are hiding behind the poly label to justify cheating. Is she right? She just might be right!
(She’s right.)
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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This episode is brought to you by Hung Up-an original podcast about sex love and relationships, from Headspace hosted by Shan Boodram. Search for Hung Up in your podcast player.
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
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Kissing?! Blecchhh! A 33 year old woman is a bit of a late bloomer. She has just started dating, and likes to have sex. But the kissing? It disgusts her. Her shrink told her she just hasn’t met the right guy. But she knows better. She doesn’t like to kiss and that’s that. How can she tell her fellas this?
A bi woman is into daddy dom/little girl play. But she was incensed to see a warning on Porn Hub comparing her harmless kink to child pornography. Porn Hub is riddled with far darker stuff. Why Porn Hub, why?!!
On the Magnum, Dan chats with the good Doctor Joe Kort, who coined the term “sides.” Sides are gay men who aren’t into anal sex (but do plenty of other things.) They talk about the weird reaction sides get from both gay and straight folks, and also about first loves, the unwarranted herpes stigma, and meet sleazys. You should listen to this conversation but we warn you- you’re gonna feel good…
And, a woman wants Dan to call her dad and berate him for getting in so many toxic relationships and then complaining about it to his daughter. Will Dan call her father?
Q@savage.Love 206-302-2064
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Believe it or not, a straight male dom is struggling with how to be selfish in bed. As a dom, he learned to please his sub and obtain consent every step of the way. But his current girlfriend wants him to do whatever he wants. He just doesn’t know what that is…
A mother overheard her daughter’s friend say she was bi. The mother wanted to pounce and avow her support and acceptance, but she said nothing. Should she say something super-nice next time?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with kindred spirit Ryan O’Connell from the Queer as Folk reboot. They talk about sex and dating with cerebral palsy and what to make of being fetishized for a disability. They also war over who coined “cumspringa” first. (It’s Dan.) Ryan is whipsmart and we all love him.
A woman has been with her boyfriend for 10 years. He’s straight as an arrow…when he’s sober. When he drinks he talks about wanting to be with men. He refuses to acknowledge that he has a touch of the queer in him. How can the caller get him to embrace this about himself and have him understand that it doesn’t really matter?
Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Framebridge. Framebridge makes it easier and more affordable than ever to frame your favorite things – without ever leaving the house. Get 15% off your first order at Framebrige.com when you use the code SAVAGE.
A woman has been with her boyfriend for one year. She knew he was into cam girls from the beginning of the relationship. But lately he watches cam girls all the time- even when they are having sex. Now that he is choosing cam girls over the caller, she’s beginning to wonder if there might be... a problem.
A man is coming to the end of his 9-year relationship with his girlfriend. But she is about to have surgery on her leg, and will need a lot of help. Is this a terrible time to break up? Can he leave her in the care of her adult children who live with her?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emmy and Tony-nominated actor, author, and producer Jesse Tyler Fergusson about Broadway, casting gays, and meddling, jealous ex-girlfriends.
A gay man still has some photos up on social media of him and his ex. Some of his friends say he should take them down- it looks like he hasn’t moved on. Other advise him to keep them up- it shows high emotional IQ that he is still friends with his exes. What should he do?
We know what YOU should do. Call!
206-302-2064 or record your question and send it to Q@savage.love
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A bi man in a monogamous heterosexual marriage keeps having his sexuality questioned by gay friends. It’s super annoying! Should he even bring up his bisexuality? Should he feel miffed?
A woman with a newish boyfriend wants to try some consensual non-consent. Specifically, she wants to be woken from a deep sleep to him having sex with her. He readily agreed saying he would also like to be woken up mid-blow job. But how do they negotiate this ahead of time? When he’s sleeping so peacefully, she looks at him and chickens out.
On the Magnum: Pegging WILL be in the Oxford English Dictionary. Or so says Dan’s new inside man. In the noble quest to enshrine the word “Pegging” in the world’s most respected record of the English language, Dan brings on Jesse Sheidlower, former editor at large of the OED to explain why some words get in and some don’t. Nerds rejoice! In your FACE Bill Savage! (This is one of Nancy’s favorite Magnum conversations just so you know.)
Ok, is it true that men don’t like it if you put out too quickly? Because she let him have rough sex with her and she really enjoyed it, and they seemed to be really vibing and he kissed her goodbye, but now he’s TOTALLY GHOSTING her!
It’s hard out there.
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A trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men?
A woman has started dating an older man. In sharing their secrets, he confided that he likes to cross-dress. She’s game to indulge him, but what does she need to know about it?
In these dark times there is only one man who can bring the light. It’s Randy Rainbow! The genius who got us through the Trump years is out with a new book, and continues to churn out super-clever, super-gay videos. They answer a couple calls togethers, they laugh, they cry, they misgender someone, you get to listen. Some is on the Micro, all is on the Magnum.
Hear the pathos in the voice of this 30 year old man, who tumbled together with a woman and her husband. Now he’s catching feelings for the wife, the husband is pissed and the marriage just might end. He didn’t bargain for this…
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
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An Australian woman in her mid 20s fondly remembers the intimate online relationship she had throughout high school. She thought he was 20, and though they never met in person, they would chat well into the early hours every night. Recently, she became curious about what became of him. She learned that he was in fact 35 at the time, with a wife and kids. When she confronted him, he was self-pitying in his defense. This relationship was good for her at the time. But the lie is galling, and if he did this to her, is he still pretending to be someone he isn’t for other young women/girls? Should she tell his wife and blow up his life?
It’s hard to be ethically non-monogamous! It really is! This is what a man and his wife have learned after she cheated on him with a man who was cheating on *his* wife. Are there resources for folks trying to be open and honest?
Our all time favorite dominatrix, Mistress Matisse is back to discuss a few thorny issues. 1) Can we call ourselves and our pals “whore” in a sex-positive “take it back” kind of way? Or is the word off-limits unless you are an actual sex worker? 2) After 4 months, a sex worker in her 30s has fallen in love with her 64 year-old married client. Now what? And, 3) a woman is super annoyed that her husband needs to process their relationship for hours before he will finally fuck her already. You’ll hear question #1 on the Micro and all of them on the Magnum.
Finally, a man with an 8 inch penis is using a penis extender to get even more length. He’s been wearing the device for two months, but he’s beginning to lose sensitivity. Is he putting his Weiner in danger? Is it worth it?
Yes and no.
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
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Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
Support for the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by MANSCAPED™ , the best in men’s below-the-waist grooming. MANSCAPED™ offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels. MANSCAPED™ just launched their fourth generation trimmer, The Lawn Mower® 4.0. Get 20% off and free worldwide shipping with the code: Lovecast at manscaped.com.
“Help! I’m trapped with my very nice in-laws! “ An introverted woman loves her husband’s family dearly. But when they all descend on her house and stay for weeks with their kids and their dinners and their constant togetherness, she loses her mind. How can she carve out a little alone time without offending the herd?
A lesbian connected with a super-hottie bisexual. They planned to hook up, but the hottie asked if they could get some video or pics and show to her boyfriend to turn him on/make him jealous. As a lesbian, the caller recoils at the idea of providing “content” for some man. She and Dan discuss the matter. You get to hear their conversation.
We have two guests for you this week. Did you know that England has sex scandals too? They do! Rachel Cunliffe, the Senior Associate Editor of the New Statesman, is on to talk about the naughty MP Neil Parish who resigned after he was discovered watching porn on the crowded House of Commons floor.
And on the Magnum, Dan chats with Searah Deysach from Chicago’s Early to Bed, about finding the elusive silent vibrator.
Finally, a man hooked up with a guy who bragged about some of his exhibitionist exploits. Would you like to hear what they were? You’ll have to listen to find out. But, the caller is worried that this man will get in trouble, or be seen by a child or other non-consenting person. Is he a prude to cut off relations at this point?
Voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064
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A man is excited to marry his beloved fiancé. But he harbors a corrosive secret. Early in their relationship he went to massage parlors for happy endings. He’s done with all that now, and feels terribly ashamed. But should he tell her? Does he owe her the truth? Can she handle the truth? Can he handle a lifelong secret?
A woman used to have bad sex in her youth, with lots of unrequited blow jobs. Now that she’s with an attentive, loving boyfriend, she would like to give him toe-curling oral sex. But she can’t get the distaste for them out of her head. How can she learn to love giving them again?
On the Magnum, Dan interviews psychology professor Dr. Craig Harper about his research on sex doll owners. Is there a personality type associated with sex doll ownership? What kind of relationships do they have with women?
Finally, if a guy has an STI, does his semen taste different?
Like butterscotch maybe?
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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
A gay man discovered that his friend had a nude photo of him on his phone. The caller had asked him to take the picture so he could edit it and send it to someone. But the friend kept the pic for himself and sent it to other people without the caller’s knowledge or consent. So. Can they still be friends? How bad is this?
A queer woman has been on 2 dates with a gal, and they are getting along really well. The caller did a deep internet search and discovered that her date is in fact trans. Not only had the woman not disclosed this, but she volunteered that she was cis, and talked about having period cramps in her youth. Lies? Why would she lie? The caller is very game to date a trans woman. How should she proceed?
Our guest this week is Christine Emba, author of “Rethinking Sex: A Provocation.” And Dan was indeed provoked! They discuss her critique of sex culture in which attaining consent is considered a high bar to clear when in fact it is the very lowest bar. Choking? Sadism? What is wrong with us? They talk about kink-shaming, Armie Hammer, how to avoid terrible people and much more. A little is on the Micro, the whole fascinating thing is on the Magnum.
And, a bisexual man and his wife have begun a wonderful triad with another bi man. But they have a 9 year-old daughter who will eventually catch on that mommy and daddy’s new friend is more than a friend. Should they tell her and get out in front of it before she thinks one of them is cheating?
Send us your tricky questions please.
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
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Mazel tov, you’re a new daddy! And by “daddy” we mean a queer, dirty-talkin’, older dom. A newly single bi man in his 40s suddenly finds himself with a bevy of young men who want him to play this role, and he doesn’t know where to begin.
More semen please! A man wants to know if the various foods and supplements that promise to increase semen volume really work.
On the Magnum, you should have seen the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ scurry around when we found out that Anna Sale was coming on the show. The host of Death, Sex & Money has a new podcast all about erectile dysfunction called HARD, so Dan chatted with her about ED and Viagra and much more. Unsurprisingly, Anna Sale was a delight.
And, can cis people use the term “dead-naming?” The caller saw a YouTuber complaining that some people in a bar had called out the name they read from his driver’s license. He now uses his slick YouTube handle and accused the bartender of “dead-naming” him. But isn’t this term specifically for people who use a trans person’s former name?
People! Words Matter.
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
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A woman discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. How did she know? He washed his own sheets for the first time EVER. When confronted, (after lying at first,) he said that men need variety and monogamy is unnatural. Is this correct?
A man and his husband now live apart because one of them didn’t want to live in the cold, dark, rainy Pacific Northwest. But they still love and miss each other so much. The caller feels like his house is a museum of their love, with objects everywhere to remind him of his man. Should he sell the house and move on?
On the Magnum, Dan lures the delightful stand-up comedian Gianmarco Soresi, to give his straight male perspective on dating whilst famous and…dick picks.
And, a sex worker has a boyfriend who disapproves of her job. He started seeing another woman because he claims it’s the only way he can stomach his girlfriend’s profession. The caller agreed to let him see both of them, so long as the other woman knew about her. When the woman found out, she dumped the lad, leaving him seething with anger. Now the caller wonders…who is the asshole?
There are going to be a few more single men after this show comes out…
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
A woman and her husband are getting into group sex. The catch? She’s newly pregnant. Should she disclose this to participants?
4 years ago, soon after a woman got together with her boyfriend, in a fit of paranoia, he checked to see if she was indeed doing what she said she would be doing with some friends. When she found out about this, she confronted him and he apologized. He’s never done anything like this since and their relationship is good. Still. Should she dump him for this past transgression?
On the Magnum, we welcome back our favorite ghost(ing) writer, Justine Ang Fonte, to discuss the delicate art of saying “No.”
A woman sent her friend-with-benefits a sex tape of herself. He said he loved it and has watched it “many times.” But she was able to see that he watched it only twice. Is this grounds for freaking out?
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
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Strap in (or on) for a wild ride folks, because this is the April Fool’s Day show. We asked you to send in fake calls and you came through in a big way. It is Dan Savage’s challenge to spot the phonies.
A woman wonders how to help her friend dispose of his unwanted sex doll. Can he just take it to the dump?
A man and his wife both got Fitbits. But now, when they have sex, they both immediately check them to see how they did from a fitness perspective!
Some kinks explored on this show: globes, bones, animals, talking peeholes, nudism, mullets and astrology. Which are real? Can you tell?
Have you ever wanted to hear Yoda talk dirty? No? Nobody’s making you subscribe to the Magnum…
206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
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A woman with teenaged kids has started seeing a man she’s known for a decade. It’s a dom/sub relationship, where she is the dom. Part of their arrangement is that she gets to date other people and he does not. She has always been transparent and open with her kids, but she hasn’t told them about this new relationship. Should she?
A man has decided he never wants to bring kids into the world. But he’s eager to adopt and have a family. How and when can he explain this on his dating profiles?
On the Magnum, our guest is Laura Kipness- author of “Love in the Time of Contagion.” The two talk about everything under the sun, including polyamory, relationship anarchy, power as an aphrodisiac, the perversity of being confined during covid times and much more.
And, Dan councils a woman whose father is a big ole cheater. He got caught kissing a woman at a bar by the caller and then lied about it to the whole family. His wife is disabled and needs a lot of care. The caller doesn’t want to butt in on her parents’ sex life, but does dad need to be so careless?
I mean, come on dad!
voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064
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Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
Gather round listeners, and hear the gruesome tale of a spit roasting mishap.
A Ukrainian queer woman living in Canada is horrified and heartbroken that her Russian grandmother is not only homophobic, but pro-Putin as well. How do you maintain a relationship with such a person?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with his old enemy, reformed Republican strategist Tim Miller from The Bulwark about Florida’s reprehensible “Don’t Say Gay “ bill.
And finally! Dan offers THE definition of sex.
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.
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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage
A man matched with a woman in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. She proposed they meet at a lifestyle club. He had never heard of lifestyle clubs before and wonders if this is an elaborate scam to boost the club’s membership. Is this on the up and up?
A man started seeing a new woman, and it’s time to share his kinks. He is into cross-dressing. (Ho hum.) And wearing maxi pads. (Oh my!) How can he tell her this without scaring her off?
Speaking of scaring people off…our What You Got is extra spicy today. In what must be our first combination of a What You Got and Darwin Award nomination, a man inserted the straw from a can of spray foam insulation into his urethra, and pressed the button. Dr. Susan MacDonald, the intrepid researcher and Urology Professor, presents this case study with more calm than most of us are capable of.
And, a domme woman is trying to get pregnant with her sub. How can they adjust their sex practices to maximize the chances of fertilization?
We’re looking for answers here.
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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
It’s pretty much the nightmare scenario. Her new boyfriend gave her a digital picture frame. She mischievously sent him a nude, not knowing that it would post to a whole network of his friends, including his conservative Evangelical Christian mother. She hasn’t met his mother yet. When the day comes, how can she look her in the eye?
A brave woman has taken up being a Dom to men she meets online. They come to her house and the fun begins. But she hates the awkward chit-chat at the beginning, before they assume their roles. How can she cut to the chase?
On the Magnum version, a man asks Dan to reconcile the seeming contradiction of the public health mandate to wash one’s hands, with the celebrated practice of eating ass. “Please explain.” Dan brings on Dr. Daniel Summers- pediatrician, and hand-washing advocate to shed light on the situation.
And, a bisexual man would like to dress more…bisexually. Can anyone help him pick out some threads?
voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064
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Hey everyone! Meet your new co-worker, and her …master. At the work party, the new gal showed up with her 24/7 master who fed her in front of everyone, the whole time. Now, the caller doesn’t want to be sex-negative or anything, but is this appropriate workplace etiquette?
Next up! Do you like to crank them hogs? This widower had a rich, fulfilling sex life with his wife Barb, but she passed away. How can he find sexual fulfillment in his golden years? (And, Nancy has an important message for you.)
Dan meets his millennial match in Shan Boodram- host of the “Lovers and Friends” podcast. They talk about why so many women can’t let go of bad partners, “trauma bonds” vs. “survivor bonds” and when white women are attracted to “Black Girl Magic.” You get a taste of it on the Micro, and all of it on the Magnum.
And, a trans guy is in a monogamous relationship with his boyfriend. But the caller wants to open it up so he can have sex with friends. Can the boyfriend come around in time? (Hint: Dan’s husband did…”)
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Hoo boy do we have a goodie for you today.
First off, a woman and her boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. They stay home, watch tv, play videos games and don’t have sex. When one of them tries to initiate, they both feel too silly to get in the mood. How can they get their mojo back?
Our guests are Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson from the Guys We F****d podcast. Why we haven’t had them on the show sooner is a mystery to everyone. Dan and the ladies gab about dating younger guys, dating sexual prudes, getting laid when you aren’t so pretty, how we all have daddy issues, cuckolding and so much more. A bit of it is on the Micro and the whole sordid thing is on the Magnum.
And, how you teach your man to clean his ass properly?
voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064
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Ah Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how keep it spicy...very, very spicy.
Let’s tuck in.
Inevitable Divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of 3 years overheard and now there’s hell to pay.
A lesbian bought a delightful dildo to use on her girlfriend. But guess what. They broke up! Does our caller have to throw away the sex toy, still in its box? And does she always have to be the one to buy them?
On the Magnum version of the show, have your Dear John letter written by a pro. Dan talks to Justine Ang Fonte, a ghostwriter who will happily write the texts you dread to send.
And, a lesbian is in that unenviable position of being the piece on the side. The woman she’s in love with already has a girlfriend and despite the great sex with the caller, won’t break up with anyone.
Love hurts. Oooooh oooooh, love hurts.
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
Check out Justine Ang Fonte on Instagram: @imjustineaf the creator of @_good.byes_
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A man regrets breaking up with his girlfriend. He always does this! He ends his great relationships because his expectations are too high. Would she consider coming back to him? Should he even ask?
Erika Lust who is making waves with her ethical, woman-centered erotic films. She and Dan have a long convo on how porn is our default sex-ed, what porn made for women can be like, and how to consume porn thoughtfully and ethically.
On the Magnum, a man has started dating a rather demanding virgin. Although they are sexual together, she has roadblocks set up at every turn. She will give him hand jobs only through his underwear, for instance. Dan consults his mean lesbian boss Tracey “Peaches” Cataldo to speculate and what’s might really be going on here.
And, a woman has had sex with a dude twice. The first time was great. But, oy, the second time! He went at her like a jack hammer without paying any attention to her pleasure. Then he criticized her dirty talk prowess, comparing her to his ex-girlfriend. She wonders if she should wander off to pastures greener.
Off you go, dear.
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That’s right, all of you who enjoy watching your partners sleep with others now are officially celebrated ALL WEEK LONG. And here at the Savage Lovecast, we’re delighted to take part.
Venus Cuckoldress is on to talk about her podcast, and to advise a woman about her plan to have a gang bang on her wedding night. And there’s more on the big ole Magnum version of the show.
Then, also on the Magnum, Dan chats with David Ley, who literally wrote the book on cuckolding- “Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them.” He and Rose Caraway (who narrates the audiobook, and came up with the idea for Cuck Week ) are on to talk about what a relief it is to finally have the practice of cuckolding out in the open. But do we need just a little bit of shame to enhance that erotic charge? They discuss.
And now. What is the next sexual practice to get its own week-long celebration?
Record a Q and send it in to us! voicemail@savagelovecast.com Or call 206-302-2064
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Oh no, it’s a three-way gone bad! A woman and her fiancé agreed to sleep with their friend. She set her very clear boundaries, and guess what? He and the gal broke them all in a triumph of cruelty and inconsideration. Now what? They have been together for 12 years. Can you imagine?
A poly woman with a chronic medical condition has been attracted to a good friend for a while. The sexual tension is building…but she found out that not only is he unvaccinated, but he never intends to get the vaccine, indeed has never received a vaccine of any kind due to his religious beliefs. But he is scorching hot! Dan enlists the help of the good doctor Stacy De-Lin to wag her professional finger at this reckless, selfish, deluded, unethical (but very foxy) wacko.
On the Magnum, we are delighted to bring on comedian Zach Noe Towers (Dating #NoFilter, and Dear White People.) They advise a puzzled lesbian about the top/bottom dichotomy among gay men, and discuss the complication that having herpes can bring to your group sex exploits. Could this conversation be any gayer? No, it could not. And we guarantee you will know Dan Savage a little better after you listen to this interview.
And, in another boundary-breaking bonanza, a woman is lucky enough to hook up with a long-haired man. But he warned her that due to trauma involving his mother, she MUSN’T TOUCH HIS HAIR. Guess what she did…twice! Now, he’s ghosted her and she wonders if it’s such a crime to touch a hottie’s lovely locks.
Don’t touch the hair.
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A happily married trans man came out to his mom. She didn’t take it well. She told him that if he changed his name it would kill her. Then she died. Now he is faced with a choice- should he use his former name at the funeral gathering, or use his true, current name?
A married woman enjoys animalistic, primal, rough sex. Her husband is also gentle and sweet and affectionate. She loves both, but has a hard time transitioning from one style to the other.
On the Magnum, Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick to discuss the ubiquity of choking in sex. Making the leap from porn to real bedrooms, it is often poorly communicated about beforehand.
And, speaking of poor communication, hear the terrible tale of a New Years Eve polyamorous debacle.
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Let us start the New Year with…blackmail! A woman’s boyfriend got ensnarled by an extortionist on a kink website who sent private sexual photos to her family. Now she has to work through her anger and worry around sex and kink. Yuk, right? But then! You can hear the triumphant story of a man who batted away an aspiring blackmailer by telling her to go ahead and send out his pics “but be sure to use a filter to make my eyes look pretty.”
A woman in poly relationships has gained a lot of weight after having a child. Her tertiary partners are no longer attracted to her. Should she try to persuade them to love her new bigger body, or find some other folks who will worship her for who she is now. Dan brings on Leah Carey host of “Good Girls Talk About Sex,” to help the caller grapple with her body image issues.
On the Magnum, we have a “What You Got” by James Mackay, about hypnosis and pornography in a cultural history of the two genres.
And finally, a woman has flashbacks after she has sex, in which her recollections fill her with disgust. It was super-hot at the time. Why does she get flooded with regret days later?
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Happy New Year?
Boy oh boy, Dan tells a lot of people to break up on this episode. There’s the gay man with an older boyfriend who might want to go poly despite his boyfriend’s commitment to monogamy. There’s the woman who is finally in a healthy, caring relationship, but it’s booooring. And, there’s the woman whose boyfriend emotionally abuses her and refuses to go to therapy, insisting he will never treat her better. Out with the old, people! Let’s all treat ourselves right in 2022!
On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Daniel Grossman- a professor of obstetrics and gynecology about abortion medication. He explains how the drugs work, the legal situation should Roe V. Wade be struck down and crucially, teaches Dan how to pronounce “ mifepristone.”
Please go to https://abortionfunds.org/ and make a donation this instant.
And, a masc lesbian would like some lessons on how to properly dominate her girlfriend the way she wants it. The problem is she’s too polite! How can she pretend to be a big mean Dom, when it feels insincere?
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
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Happy Solstice everyone, who’s up for some label salad? A cassgendered (look it up- we did,) demi, pan person has a partner who was assigned male at birth but is taking hormones to be more feminine. The partner feels non-gendered, and enjoys having both a penis and breasts. But they feel they have to present as male because they live in a conservative area. They are only attracted to women, and wonders what label to use when filling out dating profiles.
A bi woman met a man on an app, who lives in another town. He came to visit, and brought a woman with him so they could all have a three-way. It went great, but the caller grooved with the woman much more than the man. Tragically, she failed to get her contact info. When they parted the man cut off all contact and is effectively twat-blocking the caller from reaching out to the gal. It’s an outrage!
No one can bring the holiday cheer quite like our favorite dominatrix, Mistress Matisse! She is on to answer questions from listeners who are considering getting into sex work. Is it a good idea? Some of it is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.
And, a woman has been having casual sex with a man half her age. Sweet! But there’s a hitch. He is engaged to be wed to a woman his parents have arranged for him. He wants to honor the family and go through with the marriage, though he would much rather be with the caller. Should she leave him alone and let him get on with it, or keep screwing him because life is short?
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This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
Why was he such a bad lover? A woman hooked up with a younger man, and endured mediocre sex. He didn’t reciprocate oral, for instance. She blew him off, and when he reached out to her, she was honest about his lack of skill. Later, he drunk-dialed her and confessed that it had been his first time. Now she feels guilty and wishes she had been more compassionate, knowing what she now knows. Does she owe him anything?
A woman has discovered that her new boyfriend follows porny, blonde bimbo types on Insta. She is dark complected and looks nothing like these women. She doesn’t want to sex-shame him, but his taste seems really thoughtless and basic to her. Is it a red flag? Should she confront him?
On the Magnum, it’s time to shop baby! Boost that economy with the gift of sex toys. Our beloved regular guest Erika Moen (of “Oh Joy Sex Toy,” and “Let’s Talk About It”) is on to offer recommendations so you can stuff the right stockings.
And, ladies/vag-havers: how do you dispose of the jizz that comes a’tricking out after sex? Our caller is too busy to wait until it all flows out, and has heard that douching is a no-no. We’re crowdsourcing this one.
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CLEAN MY HOUSE. A woman has been seeing her new boyfriend for a few months. He is kinkier than she’s ever been, but she’s willing to try his things. A dom friend of his has commanded him to clean her house as a service sub. Suddenly the caller feels jealous. Also, if he’s going to clean anything, it should be his own damn house.
A woman drunkenly made up a project she was working on in order to entice a former teacher of hers on LinkedIn. He responded right away, offering to help. Now what? Should she prolong the lie? Or come clean?
On the Magnum, a man’s father has Peyronie’s disease. His penis curves painfully and he hasn’t had a comfortable erection in a year. Is there something that can be done? And is it hereditable? Dan brings on the comforting urologist, Dr. Ashley Winter to do a deep dive on this condition, which is more common than you might think.
“I no longer find you attractive.” Ouch! Those are the words we all dread, whether we have to say them or hear them. A gay caller now has to live with these words ringing his head, even though the relationship ended amicably, and he knows he’s good looking. How can he get his confidence back?
Voicemail@savagelovecast.com. 206-302-2064
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It’s a sexcess story...sort of! A woman tells us about how she relieved a 32 year-old man of his virginity. She recommends it!
A woman had a wonderful hook-up with her neighbor. The next morning they made plans to have dinner that night, but she never heard from him again, in what turned out to be a literal ghosting. He died that day. Now she feels heartsick and guilty that she is grieving such a short relationship. Dan counsels her on the phone as only Dan can.
On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” With Professor Lloyd Johnston who studies the epidemiology of drug use as well as AIDS. He and Dan discuss the state of HIV in the United States, and how sexual abstinence is on the rise among young men.
And, a woman’s 13 year old nephew might be gay. At a family gathering, she found his door locked, and when she knocked he emerged with an older teenaged friend of his. What were they doing in there? Should the caller tell his mom?
voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064
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Happy Thanksgiving, and welcome to the homo takeover! We’re focusing on queers exclusively this week, so MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, breeders.
A newly sober lesbian wonders if it’s normal to get SUPER-HORNY when you quit booze. Or is she #blessed?
How are you supposed to live your life when you are an ex-marine, macho, rural, hunter bro and also…bisexual? He knows he should be out, but worries he won’t be able to find women to date who would be cool with it.
Next, we crank the queer dial up to a billion with our guests Alaska & Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Their podcast, Race Chaser and the Savage Lovecast were made to smash together in this unholy alliance. The queens answer some listeners' questions, and generally dish it up.
On the Magnum, some people of a certain age have a bad reaction to the word “queer.” This gay man was tormented by the word when he was growing up. Dan chats with him in a deep dive convo about the history of the words we use for “gay,” how they change over the years, and how LGBTQ folk will manage to rip the teeth and fangs out of every insult, every time.
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A group of friends get together regularly and do molly together. But there’s one dude in the group who gets a little too touchy feely with the women, asking if can touch them in…intimate ways. How can they tell him to knock it off without ruining the groovy vibe?
A bisexual teenaged boy can’t come during sex. He can get there when he masturbates. But for some reason he can’t close the deal with others. Why? What can he do?
On the Magnum, Dan and comedian Judy Gold from the Kill Me Now podcast answer some questions together. They discuss the faces we make during sex, finding your large girlfriend unattractive, and what to do when you’re jealous of your inconsiderate roommate, who also happens to be your ex. Thorny problems all!
And speaking of roommates, a woman has moved in with her wonderful, perfect-in-every-way boyfriend. Except! He also lives with his unpleasant, difficult mother. It’s a package deal, and the caller is miserable. Must she move out?
Yes, she really must. 206-302-2064. voicemail@savagelovecast.com
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Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
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Do you have queer imposter syndrome? This woman thinks she does. Now that she has her first girlfriend, a little, mean voice in her head tells her she faking it.
A woman has started dating a really great guy. The hitch? He's into making people throw up. So. Can she go there for him, or is this a Fetish Too Far?
On the Magnum, a woman gets aroused when she has to pee. But is it dangerous to hold it just to get that good feeling? Dan brings on a urogynecologist to help answer this one, because Dan knows all sorts of people.
Finally, a man is in a polyamorous relationship with his girlfriend. Her other partner loves to mark her with hickeys. The caller hates it, it but is loathe to ask them to stop.
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This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to www.thepillclub.com/Savage.
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A woman in an open relationship with her bi husband, will sometimes indulge in threeways with men. But these men almost always ask to film the fun. Isn't this just asking for free porn? It makes the caller feel like an unpaid sex worker.
A trans man wants to start hooking up with men. But he remembers how dangerous and fraught this was before he transitioned, and wants to make sure he's safe and in control this time. Dan calls him up and you get to listen in.
On the Magnum, Dan brings back STI researcher Ina Park, to talk about STI risks, stigmas and how to protect yourself.
And, in this installment of "What's My Label?" a neurodivergent, spanko, straight man wonders what to call himself.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit DameProducts.com/Savage to get 10% off your first order.
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
A woman and her husband recently had their wedding celebration. She gave him the full hall pass to go party down with his pals and bring in some sex workers. She stayed home with her gal pals. Now, she wants to exact SEX REVENGE, and have a dalliance herself. Is this so wrong?
A newly out lesbian wants to get a dyke haircut. But she doesn't want to be a walking lesbian cliche´. Walking lesbian cliche´ Tracey Cataldo, a.k.a. Dan's "Mean Lesbian Boss" (and we really mean it, you should see her on her motorcycle,) is on to talk this lady into chopping those locks. Own it girl!
On the Magnum, a caller answered an ad from someone who wants to be trained as a dog. The fearless caller is game, but has only trained 4 legged dogs, never the human kind. Dan brings on Amp from the Watt's the Safeword YouTube channel, to explain the joy of puppy play. A delight!
And, hi neighbor! A woman has just built a house right next to a gay couple. Her 5 year-old's room offers a clear view of the neighbors' hot tub, complete with floating sex toys. Just how awkward of a conversation is in store for them?
206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com
This episode is brought to you by Calm, the #1 app for sleep and relaxation. For a limited time get 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at CALM.COM/Savage.
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit DameProducts.com/Savage to get 10% off your first order.
Our opening "Sexcess" story features a woman who discovered she's natural born pegger. After some initial reticence, now her man begs for it.
A gay man has a fraught relationship with his parents. He visits them, but they don't visit him. He learned recently that he has Aspergers Syndrome, and also that his family thinks he's an asshole. So, with his newly understood diagnosis, does he owe them an apology? Or are his parents the assholes here?
On the Magnum, Dan interviews one of our favorite guests, Dr. Justin Lehmiller about how sexual behaviors have changed during the pandemic. Covid's silver lining? Americans are trying butt stuff!
And, after a blindfolded anonymous scene from an app hook-up, the caller realized that he recognized his lover as an acquaintance. Now what? Should he tell him?
206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to www.thepillclub.com/Savage.
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Ok, exactly how many people need to be involved for it to be called an orgy?
A woman has been mulling over something that happened 20 years ago between her and her brother-in-law. When she was 19, and her sister was away, her sister's husband put on some porn, and asked her a bunch of wildly inappropriate sex questions. Then he asked her to keep their conversation secret. Unsurprisingly, they are now divorced. The caller never told her sister about this. Should she tell her now?
On the Magnum version of the show, Dan gets a Second Opinion from Alexander Cheves, a sex columnist for Out Magazine. They discuss hooking up with Trump voters, how desire for kink emerges early in life, and whether it Is "urbanist" to advise rural gay folks to move to cities.
And, a man has been with his wife for 20 years. She is done with sex, and he very much wants it. He likes to smoke pot in moderation. She insists that so long as he smokes pot, she will never have sex with him. Should he fully quit in hopes that she comes through on her end of the bargain?
206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage.
This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
"Wait. Where did that flared base, glass butt plug go? Oh, that's right! It's still up my butt!" The caller tried to do everything right. But she might need surgery to get it out.
A woman's boyfriend cheated on her with a sex worker... who also happens to be her own damn hairdresser! Dan and the caller have a conversation, and you get to listen in.
On the Magnum version of the show, Dan FINALLY interviews the wise and prolific Drs John and Julie Gottman. These two have conducted more than 40 years of research on what makes relationships work or fail, and their insights are spot on. If you've never heard of them, we humbly invite you to the Gottman-o-sphere.
And, choices, choices. A gay man is peacefully dating his boyfriend but they don't have sex. But there's a foxy younger guy who the caller has sex with. Should he stick with the meaningful but sexless relationship, or the scorching hot sex dude?
206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com
Check out The Abstinence Project.
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Were You Raised By Wolves is a weekly show about etiquette and manners. Each week, Nick Leighton and Leah Bonnema answer wild listener questions and offer practical advice for even the stickiest situations. Send in your own questions to wereyouraisedbywolves.com and listen now on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/wolves
Wedding drama ahoy! A man's dad had a fight with his sister. Years later, the sister got married, and at her wedding, her dad orchestrated a big walk-out of many of the family, leaving the bride in tears. (That's some stone cold revenge right there.) Should the caller break off contact with his dad over this?
A 44 year-old married woman with 2 kids wants to be open-minded about her husband's request to bang a 25 year old gal. But when he tells her that this new woman is "magical" and that he's "never felt this way before," it's hard to feel groovy about the whole situation.
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Adam Zmith, author of "Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures." They talk about the fascinating origins of poppers use and how they have been helping gay men have a whole lot of fun ever since.
And, after 5 years together, and many conversations about whether kids are in their future, the man announces that he does NOT in fact want kids. 2 WEEKS BEFORE THEIR WEDDING. The bride-to-be is NOT happy...
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This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
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It's the sight that strikes fear in everyone's hearts: WHITE DREADS. One of his lovers has them, and just doesn't wanna cut them off. His other partners are offended. Should he keep seeing this woman? Is she oblivious to the connotations, or a bit of a troll?
A gay man's boyfriend is a very kinky lad. He loves to be denigrated and roughly used. But the tender-hearted caller loves him so much that he feels uncomfortable treating him that way.
On both the Micro and the Magnum, Dan chats with Leigh Cowart about their book Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose. They talk about how the pleasure derived from pain is as old as the hills, isn't always sexual and is often unfairly misunderstood. If you just don't understand what all this S&M business is about, this is the show for you.
And, a couple are "butting" heads over toilet paper. When he gets a prostate massage, he wants the softest toilet paper, like the kind he has at his house. She stocks her home with eco-friendly bamboo-based toilet paper that he finds too rough. Listen in as fearless Dan Savage wades in to this seemingly intractable problem.
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This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.
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A woman had sex with her super-hot neighbor. Then she found out that not only is he unvaccinated, but uses a fake vax card. Should she continue to share her body with this monster?
A young gay man wants to be able to both top and bottom. But when he's topping his gets so in his head that he loses his erection. Dan Savage! Help this man keep a rock hard boner!
On the Magnum, a caller who escaped her family's cult when she was a teen has been invited to her sister's wedding. But their abusive cult leader father will be there. Should she skip the whole thing? Dan brings on Amanda Montell author of "Cultish" to talk about cults and how they control their followers.
And, a man wonders if there are any resources or support for people who want to try the exotic practice of monogamy.
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Have you ever lost a dildo up your butt? This man has, but somehow the tale ends up as our opening "sexcess" story.
A 51 year-old woman is seeing a 33 year-old man. It's fantastic, but how long can it last?
On the Magnum, Dan brings back Lina Dune, from "Ask a Sub" to talk about some subby listener questions and her new podcast.
Finally, a couple won't watch porn for ethical reasons. And he doesn't want to be poly or open. She wonders...how can they have any fun?!
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This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.
This episode is brought to you by Pill Club: the birth control subscription that is delivered right to your door. Get a special care package with your first delivery. Go to www.thepillclub.com/Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
A man's randy co-worker has slept with the wives of other workers and tons of women on the job. He nearly got fired for it, but he's back. Should the caller confront this man and tell him to knock it off? Warn all the females on staff?
If someone you were chatting with from an app told you that his previous relationship was with his own therapist, would you consider this a red flag? Would you meet him anyway?
On the Magnum, great news! Apple is installing mass surveillance on the iPhone. Just kidding- this is terrible news. Corynne McSherry from the Electronic Frontier Foundation is on to discuss just what this all really means.
And, a gay caller asks an age old question: "Is my dick racist?"
Everyone's worried that they are taking up too much space. A straight man feels guilty that he signed up for an activity meant for folks in the LGBT community. And, a transman ventured into a gay leather bar with his girlfriend and got the stink-eye. Is it cool to bring your girlfriend into dedicated gay male space?
Everybody's talking about the new animated educational series "Welcome to Kinkyville" that's being developed. Dan interviews co-creator/host Emily Blake about this awesome project, and how YOU (yes you, dear listener) can get involved. Check it out at http://www.WelcomeToKinkyville.com" rel="noopener" target="_blank">www.WelcomeToKinkyville.com
On the Magnum, each and every year a woman takes a family vacation with her overbearing, materialistic, unpleasant brother. How can she wiggle out of this annual obligation?
And, it's a couple's "holy grail" to get his nipples to be as sensitive as her's. Is he permanently wired to have tough ole nips? Dan offers a pragmatic regimen.
On this episode, we are treated to a couple of calls concerning pronouns. One comes from a man who doesn't understand how to use the familiar 2nd person plural when one or more are non-binary. Another comes from a man who proposes a new catch all gender-neutral pronoun to rule us all. Will it stick?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr Carole Hooven, author of Testosterone: The Story of the Hormone that Dominates and Divides Us. They discuss how testosterone works, and how we all have to live with it because it's coursing through roughly half of us. It's a great long conversation, and you should tune in.
And, we're not going to sugar coat this one: A woman poops when she comes. What can she do Dan?
A woman is sick of being a dirty little secret. Her boyfriend's ex-partner would withhold access to the kids if she found out about the relationship. Can she demand that he tell his ex?
A woman fantasizes that she's a gay man when she's having sex. But the rest of the time, she feels like a cis woman. Dan issues a label for her and sends her on her way.
On the Magnum, a comedian is creeped out that her ex-boyfriend might come heckle her at her stand-up shows. Dan welcomes comedian Jen Kirkman to talk about dealing with this unpleasantness.
And, a bi man is in a long distance relationship with an older man. But he is coming to grips with the fact that he has an unhealthy sex compulsion, and has been taking dangerous risks. Should he break off the healthy relationship with his partner while he works through recovery?
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