It's just gotta be. For a while, indefinitely, maybe not ever, what's ever? IDK. Go ahead and listen and I talk through it. I also talk through some stuff around doomscroling and mental health in the main body of the pod but... yeah. It's time for this to rest a while. I love you all.

Self care.

Hydrate.

Be well.

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Someone wrote a note asking about some severe heartbreak, they had heard the fuck breakups episode, and I jumped off of that. I kind of didn't address what they were talking about I realized after so I will return to that but hopefully there's stuff in here that resonates with you. come along and hang out with me and my good bad brain for a pretty lengthy chunky brain breather. Get bonus content on Patreon

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My grandmother died. Get bonus content on Patreon

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I'm trying to come out of hibernation. An extremely breathing brain here. Get bonus content on Patreon

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We devoted this episode entirely to one listener's question about what lies after severe trauma. The listener was sexually abused by their father though most of their family has not acknowledged this. Recently their father died and the listener expressed they'd always felt the feelings of trauma would go away with him, but they have not. This is a heavy but very useful episode, we are very fortunate to have Dr. Nick Barr with his extensive experience as a traumatologist to speak to. I just want to say how much I deeply appreciate the listeners of this show who share their difficult experiences with everyone. It is very generous to share these stories so that others might also learn and heal from them. I hope you find something useful in this episode. Self-care, hydrate, be well.

www.mygoodbadbrain.com

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I have bad adhd and while I certainly experience anxiety along with my depression, I have taken for granted my understanding (or more accurately lack thereof) in other people who experience really serious anxiety. So, I wanted to take this opportunity with Dr. Nick to own up to how I can make anxiety for my loved ones worse because I don't really understand it so all my instinctive coping mechanisms only make it worse for the person I love who is experiencing anxiety. So, this ep has good advice for helping those close to you with anxiety as well as for those with anxiety looking to help themselves.

Okay, thanks a bunch, if you wanna support the pod you can get merch at www.mygoodbadbrain.com or by sending us some monthly cash at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

You can find me on isntagram and twitter but I'm not really there much these days, been taking a break from social media.

Alright, thanks a bunch, self-care, hydrate, be well.

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Heyoooo so as the world continues in its revolutionary spirit and reactionary status quo fascists become increasingly belligerent and violent, I wanted to talk about violence again. And specifically why I think it's worth investigating violence especially for those of us who are disinclined to it. For those of us whom the idea of hurting another person is completely abhorrent. For those of us who are afraid of even the feeling of conflict for its proximity to emotional violence. So, y'know, we talk about it.

Okay, be well everyone. Self-care. Hydrate.

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No one's free unless everyone's free. I had a lengthy mini brain breather at the beginning of this and then you can hear me and Dr. Nick go OFF about the state of the world. I do not believe we can expect true mental health if we are not living in accordance with our values and trying to liberate the oppressed around us, y'know? So. This is kind of about that. I don't know what I'm gonna be doing with my life, with content and my creations, but... the world is changing. I hope you get something out of this and I'll see ya next Sunday.

If you have extra money, give it to https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#donate

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hi this is a week ago sunday's livestream, from the 31st, a day after i was at fairfax and beverly when cops attacked everyone. pretty surreal, new experience. the world is changing. we talk about it.

if you'd like to give money to something this week there are a lot of good places to donate at https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#donate

thank you

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Oh yeah babe, HORMONES, testosterone and estrogen especially. How do they affect our brains? What's the goddang deal? We talk about it and Alie was walking by and chimed in for a bit about her experiences with some hormone replacement therapy and early ovarian failure, it's a fun one!

If you wanna submit questions for the livestream either join us live on Sundays at 10am PST at youtube.com/jsleeper or email them to me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com

Also, if you wanna do Quarantine Calisthenics with us, it's every day at noon on IG Live @jarrett_sleeper you can also follow @everydayatnoon for the moves previews.

Also if you wanna support the pod you can hit me on venmo @jarrett-sleeper or at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or by buying merch at mygoodbadbrain.com

Okay, thanks y'all, self-care, hydrate, be well!

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Yes this starts off with Dr. Nick and I talking about basically things inspired by all the weirdos of the world who want everyone to die for haircuts or whatever and then someone asks a question about Family Systems Therapy and specifically an offshoot of that called Internal Family Systems Therapy and it gets into a discussion of less orthodox or mainstream therapy styles. It's interesting!

If you wanna submit questions for the livestream either join us live on Sundays at 10am PST at youtube.com/jsleeper or email them to me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com

Also, if you wanna do Quarantine Calisthenics with us, it's every day at noon on IG Live @jarrett_sleeper you can also follow @everydayatnoon for the moves previews.

Also if you wanna support the pod you can hit me on venmo @jarrett-sleeper or at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or by buying merch at mygoodbadbrain.com

Okay, thanks y'all, self-care, hydrate, be well!

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Pretty much kicks off what the title says. Dr. Nick is the best and, as usual, is super helpful.

If you wanna submit questions for the livestream either join us live on Sundays at 10am PST at youtube.com/jsleeper or email them to me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com

Also, if you wanna do Quarantine Calisthenics with us, it's every day at noon on IG Live @jarrett_sleeper you can also follow @everydayatnoon for the moves previews.

Also if you wanna support the pod you can hit me on venmo @jarrett-sleeper or at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or by buying merch at mygoodbadbrain.com

Okay, thanks y'all, self-care, hydrate, be well!

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As usual we talk about a bunch of stuff and I have ADHD real bad y'know so I can't remember like all of what we talked about nor can I remember always to take notes about it so I tend to just remember the thing that stood out to me the most which might not even be the biggest part of the ep but IDK that's just the nature of me and this thing I guess. In this ep I got pretty emotional talking about when I got my ass into therapy at a tough time in my life and that discussion stuck out to me the most so. That's what this description says. I hope this one is helpful for you.

If you wanna submit questions for the livestream either join us live on Sundays at 10am PST at youtube.com/jsleeper or email them to me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com

Also, if you wanna do Quarantine Calisthenics with us, it's every day at noon on IG Live @jarrett_sleeper you can also follow @everydayatnoon for the moves previews.

Also if you wanna support the pod you can hit me on venmo @jarrett-sleeper or at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or by buying merch at mygoodbadbrain.com

Okay, thanks y'all, self-care, hydrate, be well!

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Getting caught up by dropping the last month or so of livestreams FINALLY. This one starts with me talking to Dr. Nick about some weird numbing responses I have to nice things and we get a question about self-harm behavior that gets into some interesting stuff. It's your typical good bad brain livestream type chat thing!

If you wanna submit questions for the livestream either join us live on Sundays at 10am PST at youtube.com/jsleeper or email them to me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com

Also, if you wanna do Quarantine Calisthenics with us, it's every day at noon on IG Live @jarrett_sleeper you can also follow @everydayatnoon for the moves previews.

Also if you wanna support the pod you can hit me on venmo @jarrett-sleeper or at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or by buying merch at mygoodbadbrain.com

Okay, thanks y'all, self-care, hydrate, be well!

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I ran out of meds last week and it resulted in a pretty interesting (and very unpleasant) experience so I talk about that and we answer some questions about studies on psychedelics and then some questions about what to do after being done with a therapist but still feeling like you need help turn into a discussion of when one should maybe consider seeing a psychiatrist. Sorry I messed up the stream again, y'all are the best for being there. Self-care, hydrate, be well.

patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

mygoodbadbrain.com

wheeeeeee

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We talked a lot today about themes related to controlling your potentially damaging behaviors despite whatever your brain might be telling you about "reality". In particular related to relationships which might be experiencing difficulties due to covid isolation. We also got into talks about dealing with memory loss and its relation to trauma, depression, and adhd. The themes of values and boundaries also came up as Dr. Nick answered some questions about how to healthily distance oneself from a negative mental experience without propelling into a full dissociative experience. It was a good one with some great questions from listeners. If you'd like to submit some questions of your own, please send them to mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com we'd love to have them.

You can support My Good Bad Brain at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or by purchasing some gear at www.mygoodbadbrain.com

self care, hydrate, be well!

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Hi! I'm rapidly just posting last week's show because it's time for THIS week's show again and, y'know, what even is "time management"?? On this episode, after I figure out some technical problems (natch) Dr. Nick and I got into some discussions about, well, politics. Politics feel like a third rail for me on this program sometimes, because we're trained in our culture to separate politics from, well, everything but especially our mental health. And it makes SENSE that we do that as well, because it can feel so helpless to look at big problems of society and government, to look at massive scale systemic injustice, it's easy to go "what's the point of even thinking about this, it only causes me anxiety and depression and there's literally nothing I can do about it, might as well ignore it as best i can." So I asked Dr. Nick about things I can DO. Is it good or bad to stick your head in the sand for preservation of sanity? Lots of good questions, no easy simple answers I guess, but that was at least the general arena of discussion for last week. I hope you get something useful out of it.

See you today! youtube.com/jsleeper for the livestream! 10am pacific!

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Heellloooo everyone, we're back with some more livestream goodness from the depths of quarantine. I wanted to talk to Dr. Nick about the idea of TOXIC POSITIVITY and how to differentiate it from a kind of healthy positivity which I think one requires to self improve. Dr. Nick presents some pretty great functional strategies for helping you change your mind without it being the sort of deranged toxic positive manifestation type of nonsense that can be very discouraging and lacking in compassion.

Also, next week I'm gonna try doing the stream on YOUTUBE instead of Mixer, because I realized there are perhaps some accessibility issues with Mixer. SO. YouTube.com/jsleeper shall be where we go from.

Okay, be well, hydrate, self-care (and wash your hands! Stay inside!) Okay, love you.

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Hey everyone! I hope you're finding yourself well in quarantine. I know things are crazy out here so double down on self-care. This livestream found Dr. Nick fielding some questions about quarantine with kids, we talked about managing emotional flooding in tense partner situations when you know it's something you experience. We also talked about some of the potential positive outcomes of this really scary, anxious, and painful time. I know I've been experiencing an increased sense of community despite the physical social distancing, maybe you have too?

There's some literature Dr. Nick referenced which I'll be adding to the Google Drive folder, I'll repost that at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain (it won't be behind any paywall but if you feel becoming a money friend of the pod, you can totally do so there as well.)

If you'd like to participate, please do join us tomorrow, Sunday at 10 AM Pacific on mixer.com/mygoodbadbrain to listen to the pod recording live. Also if you have any questions or topics you'd like discussed, please submit them! Either at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com, sliding into my insta DMs ( instagram.com/jarrett_sleeper or instagram.com_mygoodbadbrain ) or just coming by the stream and asking live in the chat.

Oh lastly, I've been doing these free workouts on instagram live at my jarrett_sleeper account every day at noon pacific, Quarantine Calisthenics, I've done 'em for like two weeks straight now which is WILD for me. They're fun and it really makes your body and brain feel better to sweat, so come on by if you like it one of these days! We've got a nice rhythm going.

Alright, as usual, self care, hydrate, be well. See you guys Sunday! Mixer.com/mygoodbadbrain

(Also merch, yes, you can still get merch at mygoodbadbrain.com go for it!)

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OH yeah, we're back with Dr. Nick and the whole livestream thing. We talk about quarantine stuff, we talk about assessing suicide risk and how to help people who are deep in stuff like having anxiety attacks and answer some questions about what codependency even is.

Resources provided by Dr. Nick related to today's episode can be found at www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain which is also where you can throw some cash at the pod if you dig the pod and are in the position to do something like that.

ALSO instagram.com/jarrett_sleeper I'll be streaming workouts every day at noon, Quarantine Calisthenics bb! Help out your body and mood, you'll love it, come on over.

Thank you allll! Love you, hydrate, self care, be well.

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Hey everyone!

This pod will be the predominate form for a while, it's a recording of our Sunday livestream at mixer.com/mygoodbadbrain with Dr. Nicholas Barr. Dr. Nick is gonna be joining us every Sunday at 10am at Mixer.com/mygoodbadbrain to do a livestream responding to your mental health topics and questions. If you'd like to give us something to talk about, email it to mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com or just tune in on the day and ask in chat!

Thanks y'all.

Oh and check out patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain if you'd like to help out the podcast with moneys!

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Hey go to mixer.com/mygoodbadbrain and just subscribe to it.... we're gonna start a livestream show on Sundays, y'all. Me and Dr. Nick Barr. More info to come.

Find The Half Ass Witch on socials @halfasswitch and at

https://zeiglerteejay.wixsite.com/thehalfasswitch/services

Jarrett is @jarrettsleeper

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We've returned to a new year with the old Our Good Bad Brain format. I talk a bit about the new year and facing our cycles of relearning, and then we get into a really nice talk with Maria from Australia. She talks about anxiety, depression, borderline personality, and we find some common ground discussing our tendency to romanticize our dangerous or damaging behaviors. We discuss a bit more than usual about alcohol use as well, more than I think we've talked about on the pod in the past. She discusses self-harming in ways I've never heard people talk before, so openly and clearly about the internal experience of why. Maria has experience with some different medications (SSRIs in particular). She also discusses her expriences with cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy and discusses some of the differences between CBT and DBT. We talk a bit about suicidal ideation as well, and getting through those headspaces. I think there's a good chance you'll see some of yourself in this, I sure did.

If you'd like to be a potential guest on an Our Good Bad Brain please email me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com

You can also find us on twitter and IG now @mygoodbadbrain

You can also support the pod on patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

And get merch! Clothes and stuff for neurodiverse solidarit!y www.mygoodbadbrain.com

Alright thank you, hydrate, self-care, be well.

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The first My Good Bad Brain Hotline tape is here and I'm very very honored to share it. You guys were so generous to contribute your experiences to this tape. Your share your personal experiences with various medications, among them are prozac, wellbutrin, lamictal, lamotrigene, and paxil. Some of you also share a bit more deeply about suicide attempts, eating disorders, hospitalization, experiences with anxiety, depression, bipolar... I can only say thank you. This is my favorite episode we have done, there is beautiful music under this by Jason Scardamalia, it is... well it's extremely Good Bad Brain. I wanted to share your experiences and minds as a place we could all visit, a place where we all have a seat and an experience. It is so so wonderful of you to include us. I believe this is how community and solidarity can be made from something as small and personally experienced as a podcast. Thank you. I hope you love this as much as I do.

Some content warnings, there are experiences with some traumatic stuff on here, suicide, eating disorders, sexual assault, I just want to make sure I mention that again. These are people sharing their real lives and I think that is the most valuable thing we can do with each other.

Also if you would like some clothing and accessories we have now you can visit mygoodbadbrain.com and get merch, which is cool, mine just came today and I'm excited. Okay, hydrate, self-care, be well.

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Hey y'all. A bunch has happened in my personal life since we last spoke, so here's me reflecting on a bunch of it. I started a new antidepressant after a bit of an episode possibly precipitated by some cannabis sobriety. My truck got stolen. I had some come to jesus moments about the way I talk to myself which felt connected to some realizations about why I've avoided My Good Bad Brain, and it's connected to linguistic programming and narratives anchored in my past. So this one is a mix of things, some self helpy thoughts, some experiments and experiences with drugs, some discussion of how real life frustrations and challenges can trigger brain things. It's My Good Bad Brain.

Also, if you'd like to contribute to this Good Bad Brain Hotline project, the number is (213) 537-4033

Also if you'd like to see this in VIDEO form, become a Patron at Patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

Okay, self care, hydrate, be well.

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Hey y'all, how are you? I've missed you. I walked up a little mini mountain to sit and record a brain breather while the sun went down. I used some suggestions from y'all for topics to discuss, which felt very appropriate and timely for myself as well. Things I go through. Thanks for being here with me while I think through it, as always I hope you get something useful out of it. Self-care, hydrate, be well. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Hi. I have a conversation here for you to listen to again today. Brent Coble is on the pod, he's got ADHD and depression and what he describes (i'm paraphrasing) the soup of being a person. He makes stuff for a living, both in a hands on way and more in the development, executive side of things. If you suffer from any kind of impostor syndrome stuff you might feel some resonance with this episode. We also talk about some real being a person growing up stuff, partnership and kids and how that might affect our choices around our mental health and such. I talk about being weird at parties. I miss doing the pod, I'm sorry I've been quiet for a while.

Hydrate, self-care, be well.

Support the pod happening at http://www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

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Mental illness and mass shootings.

When people talk about a "mental health" problem in this country every time there's a mass shooting, it hits our ears and minds in a way that seems correct. Surely one must be mentally ill to commit such an atrocity!? This is especially a favorite argument to make ahead of any sort of gun restriction, a sort of guns don't kill people, people kill people... but not just people, mentally ill people kill people! So, let's round up the MENTALLY ILL people and then there won't be any shootings! Right?

Well, in this newer format of My Good Bad Brain I decided to GO IN on this topic. Is it mental illness? Are mentally ill people more likely to commit acts of violence? Are mentally ill people some kind of menace to society? Join me and professional traumatologist and social work professor (as well as jiu jitsu buddy) Dr. Nick Barr, PhD, as we discuss mental illness and violence, mental illness and mass shootings, psychology of guns and violence, whether guns on their own contribute psychologically to committing violence, some deep dives into the dark and not very reassuring history of state and otherwise official authorities assessing what is "mentally ill", some stuff about guns and suicide, and just a whole lot of info to prepare you for the next time someone wants to trot out "mental illness" as the thing we need to blame and focus on when trying to stop gun violence and especially mass shootings of this particular modern variety. I just want you to have some useful things to say, perhaps because you need to stand up for your own Good Bad Brain. Because if you're like me, maybe you've been thinking... hmm... I have been "mentally ill" for a long time and it really doesn't seem to make sense, based on my experience? In fact saying it's just crazy people seems kind of... crazy?

This episode is a big one and perhaps the one I'm proudest of in the entire life of the pod, I truly hope you get something useful out of it!

Self care, hydrate, be well!

Dr. Nicholas Barr can be found on twitter @DrNicholasBarr1

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Why do dogs help our mental health? Why do they make us feel good? Learn a little about your brain, the effect of boops and bleps upon it, and why even emotional support peacocks and kangaroos might be good for your own Good Bad Brain.

For regular listeners: I'm trying something different. I'm sure interviews with guests, with listener guests, and solo brain breathers just off the cuff will exist again but I did something different today. I hope you learn something and find this episode useful, more useful even maybe than normal just my good bad brain being my good bad brain, and soothing in its own right and... yeah. Trying new things. I hope you like it.

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I thought about calling this one "bad brain bad world" but that seemed so bleak. Even though this one IS kind of dark and DOES involve truly evil family history I learned about and I talk a lot about how bad the world is and how much it hurts be a person so often but hey, that's what it's about sometimes! I'd be fake as fuck if I was sunny all the damn time.

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Here we are here we are here we are. I talk with Clayton Farris, who is very much a kindred spirit. Also a performer, and I'll warn you there tare more ACTORS to come on this show but here's the thing: aren't we ALL pretending to be people? So doesn't it make sense that people who professionally pretend to be people would be interesting to talk to about what being a person is? Check him out on instagram @claytonfarris and, yeah, enjoy our convo please.

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Hi, I am bad at this part because it's usually not long after I've finished recording and editing the podcast and it has that quality of oh my god I'm so close to done please can I just turn this in already and jesus i just listened to myself for so long now I need to write about what i said again it's just like, damn. but anyway, the title is accurate, i talk about pride and some politics and then have a talk with my friend kat foster who is an actor and a person and a friend. we did each others podcasts this week, go check out our convo first https://apple.co/2UcmKRu and then you can do this one, which is part 2 of a one long afternoon hang and talk we did. Her pod is called Acting Real and it's about how actors use acting in their real lives, spiritual, mental, physical, emotional. I've always felt acting was more ritual magic than like idk job so it was pretty cool to do. It was a real honor to be on there too because she has a some really big actors on there and she's like a big real actor and it's just like wow cool well here i shall join you to talk about also being a magician and how it informs my life and much less so from a sheerly professional one.

anyway, be well, hydrate, self-care, check out patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain if you have enough money to financially support things you like and you also like this show, it's very appreciated, and if you like the pod and don't have enough money to share, no prob, if you feel like it you could also leave a ncie review for the show, i think it helps with, like, algorithms.

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Hi my good bad brain friends. We have officially made it to year 2 of this thing. I thought I'd kick off with a brain breather. For topics, I asked on my instagram for some ideas of stuff people might want to hear about and i got a lot of terrific responses. I ran with a few that jumped out at me, for some reason or another, and they're basically just the topics there in the title.

I'm excited to see what else happens in this new year, I'm glad to be back to the pod, thank you for being here with me. I hope you get somethin' useful out of today's show. Self care, hydrate.

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Today I had another listener join me, and I continue to love these convos. Her name is Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips, she is a writer and editor in North Carolina. We talk about generalized anxiety disorder, persistent depressive disorder, and plenty about our typical existential good bad brain stuff. We also talked about empathy and its relationship to technology, I wanted to do this because Kaitlin has a book coming out called The Future of Feeling: Building Empathy in a Tech-Obsessed World and it comes out in February of 2020. Here's a link so you can check that out https://www.amazon.com/Future-Feeling-Building-Empathy-Tech-Obsessed/dp/1978691203/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=kaitlin+ugolik+phillips&qid=1556751497&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull .

If you'd like to be a guest on My Good Bad Brain, email me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com.

If you get somethin' outta the pod throw some money at it at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or just leave us a nice review, those really help!

Self care, hydrate, be well.

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Here is the full text that Jim tweeted at Ariana and I had some reaction to: "The word 'depressed' can be spoken as DEEP REST We can choose to view depression not as a mental illness but as a state of Deep Rest, a spiritual exhaustion that we enter into when we are de-pressed (pressed down) by the weight of the false self, the mask, the mind-made story of "me". We long to stop pretending, and express our raw truth! To give voice to our secret loneliness, our shame, our broken hearts, boredom and brilliant rage! Depression's call to truth needs to be listened to and understood, not analysed or medicated away. There is no shame in your exhaustion. We are all exhausted, my love. Slow down today. Allow yourself to rest, deeply. And weep. And breathe. And begin again. Now. I say, our depression is holy,. It contains the seeds of new life." - Jeff Foster

If you'd like to be a guest on My Good Bad Brain, email me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com.

If you get somethin' outta the pod throw some money at it at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or just leave us a nice review, those really help!

Self care, hydrate, be well.

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Hi! Okay, today is our first listener interview. Lyndsay Cromwell called in all the way from the Netherlands. She's had some depression and anxiety experiences she talks about as well as dealing with a few years of really difficult family stuff, including the death of her mother. I think you'll find plenty of resonance with what she shares, I certainly did. I think this might be what the pod was meant to be all along. If you'd like to be a guest on My Good Bad Brain, email me at mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com.

If you get somethin' outta the pod throw some money at it at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain or just leave us a nice review, those really help!

Self care, hydrate, be well.

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This is a brain breather. The brain breathers are becoming more abstract and also more personal, I suppose. I started intending to be exploring certain feelings of fractured identity and ended up explaining a kind of emptiness I've been experiencing. I hope you get something out of spending time here in this odd little jacuzzi of my brain juices.

Support the pod at www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

Check me out on instagram.com/jarrettsleeperpoetryandmotion

Be mine be mine be mine be mine.

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Today I talk with Kevin Abrams, a producer and writer and generally creative fellow. I intended to talk about facing mortality, a thing he experienced this last year due to illness, and the conversation really ends up being about whether or not we, and people we know and love every day, are actually capable of change. I enjoyed this immensely, I hope you do as well.

If you enjoy the podcast and want to support it, go over to http://www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain and you can follow jarrett on instagram @jarrettsleeperpoetryandmotion

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Here's a brain breather, a solo ep this week. I'm thinking a lot about being alone. There is such importance in us fomenting connection and togetherness and reminding each other we are not alone in our existence, our joys and struggles alike. But what about being alone? I have come to love my aloneness and find great value in it, when I use to fear it rather deeply. Alone isn't really alone. It's hanging out with yourself. Which is very scary if you don't like yourself. So, y'know, here are a lot of thoughts on that. Also this week I am doing a jiu jitsu tournament and I've been on a caloric deficit for weeks cutting weight and so that probably has a lot to do with my headspace.

If you would like to support the pod, check out http://www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain and if you dig the show leave us a nice review and share it with pals. Also we're on Stitcher now, I'm not really familiar with the platform, but we're on it.

Thanks y'all. Be well, hydrate, self-care.

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I spend a lot of the opening of this discussing the state of the pod and things I'd like to try moving forward. If you want to jump to just listening to Ava Gordy and I have a talk about gender identity and beauty culture, and money weirdness, and dance, and all kinds of other things as we share good bad brain space, that starts at about 22:24.

If you listen to the first chunk and think you'd be interested in being on the pod, the email to send to is mygoodbadbrain@gmail.com

I look forward to continuing this journey with y'all.

Self-care, hydrate.

-jarrett

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I received a tweet that read "podcast idea: an episode for people who are really struggling with their mental stuff and want to feel like someone cares about them. it would be super chill, like "wow our brain sucks sometimes. you will feel better, but in the meantime, i am here for you" as someone who doesn't have friends, i don't have anyone to help me take my mind off things when i can't do it on my own. when im deep into shit, i don't want to discuss my disorders, i just want a nice lil distraction for an hour until i can being to be rational again. you know?" So that's what this ep was. Honestly, reading it back now, maybe I fucked up a little because I sort of did what this would be for myself which is very much I guess talking about disorders and existential mystical magical self talk about the nature of all things and the heart of okayness to it all and I will probably reapproach with a more distractiony episode, but here at least you get the very true to jarrett existential sort of pep talk not pep talk whatever it is it's ok tape. Whatever this is, it is the you're ok tape.

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Today Melisa Monts, who is a wonderful writer-director-producer, joins me on My Good Bad Brain and we talk a lot around this idea of being "quiet". You know what I mean? Like the idea of someone who isn't uncomfortable being quiet and holding their space, those people are assigned ideas like they're wallflowers, solitary, brooding, meek... Quiet Ones. It's one of the few traits you can be assigned not by doing a thing but by NOT doing a thing, and that is so interesting to me, I wanted to talk to Melisa about whether or not she FEELS quiet, how does one end up being considered "quiet", especially in the context of working around personalities considered to be very large, professionally so. Of course this is just a jumping off point, our good bad brains do lead us around as usual, but it's an interesting jumping off point for sure.

Self-care, hydrate, etc.

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I had a wacky week that involved a lot of circumstances that put my focus outside of myself and feel I had some revelations about the mechanisms of our powerful brains and perhaps some ways to hack these atypical brains of ours to improve our lived experiences and live serving the people and things we love.

Also, here's a link to a fellow listener's crowdfunding page and instagram, if you are able to part with a few bucks to try and help out with a very difficult situation a comrade good bad brain is going through, that would be a good thing to do this week. https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/ineedsomebackbone?utm_term=4BkjwKxgE

Self-care, hydrate, etc.

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Today my buddy Dario Civon comes by and we talk about this book he wrote, I'm Not Moving Out, I'm Not Getting a Job, Screw You: A Millennial Field Guide + Gen Z, and specifically about this odd moment in history and what it seems to do for existential questions and mental health in general. Dario is someone I know through online, he's someone who reminds me of me, he's an artist and former athlete and just has a vibe that reminds me of me, a person responding to the absurdity of existence with his own absurdity. When he was younger he was almost put into a track of education for kids with aspberger's and we discuss some of that also, which I found very interesting. I'd like to talk to some folks who are on the spectrum to ask their experiences, but this sparked a conversation about the possible downsides of being diagnosed, how sometimes one can feel pigeonholed or in the case of an educational system, literally partitioned off onto a specific educational track. Anyway, I hope you get something out of it, self care, hydrate, etc.

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I'm doing a solo one this week, talk about facing bad feelings again, negative sense of self in the form of impostor syndrome and fear of failure/success and how looking at this cycle seems to have illuminated some stuff i have with eating disorders and body dysmorphia, validation and whether i condone it or not for myself, all the flip flops and backbends i'll go through to protect and maintain my illness because not liking myself is part of WHO I AM and if i were able to change that then WHO WOULD I BE?? This one is me alone and so, as these can do, gets a little esoteric at times. I hope you find something helpful in this, self-care, hydrate, etc.

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Today was our first attempt at a remote interview! It mostly went pretty well, I think. I'm sort of weird and listless today, my grandpa died last night and death puts me in a weird detached headspace, but anyway, Terry is amazing, we sort of recreate our first conversation where Terry introduced me to the concept of dialogue vs. discussion vs. debate and, well, I think it fundamentally changes how one receives other people and also how you talk to yourself. Anyway, find Terry online under the name @indigiqueer93 I hope you get some goodness out of our talk.

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Cory DeMeyers joins me today, he's an amazing parkour athlete and stunt performer and coordinator. I wasn't sure what exactly we were gonna explore today but after chatting for a while the themes arose on their own (as they're wont to do!). To other children of divorce out there, I hope you don't feel too attacked by the specificity of our experiences. I think Cory and I both made some realizations here in an episode that's a bit more therapy than I usually skew but no less delightful for that.

If you dig the pod please leave us a review and throw money at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

Thank you! Hydrate, self-care, etc.

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Heyyooooo today we're talking with the wonderful Laura Cassidy ( ig: laurakatecassidy ) about borderline personality and eating disorders, specifically anorexia. I felt I learned some stuff about myself here, I've been really releasing and rethinking a lot of my own eating habits since recording this right before the holidays, so I was super grateful for that. Also the discussion around borderline personality is really fascinating, I know very little about this and Laura though I've wondered if I've had it in the past. It's one of those disorders that has a lot of stigma attached to the name so I was really appreciative to have Laura share some of her experiences with us. Hope you get some good stuff out of it! Self-care, hydrate, etc.

If you dig the pod go ahead and leave a nice review or join our Patreon at Patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

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I'm solo for this ep (unless you count all the frogs and bugs chiming in from the jungle and also the string of family and friends coming through the porch where I was recording) and I thought I'd take this time to reflect upon public resolutions I made last year at this time and whether or not I followed through with them and why I think resolutions can be super duper fuckin' helpful for moving into newer, more enjoyable lives as ourselves.

I hope your 2018 was okay and I hope your 2019 is lookin' like it will rock ass. Hydrate, self-care, etc.

If you dig the pod, leave us a review and for sure check us out on patreon at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

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Hi everyone! I put an ask out to y'all on instagram for your personally useful strategies for getting through the holidays with your good bad brain in tact and compiled them all in this lovely little ep! It's full of practical little strategies from other listeners as well as yours truly for dealing with this, the moooost triggering tiiime of the YEEEEAAAR!

FYI listener advice starts around the 30 minute mark, the first half hour is half my personal advice from experience and broadly speaking what advice seems to exist on the internet as well as a little list of no and low money gift ideas that I have used in the past, because financially this can be a very stressful time for a lot of us who want to give gifts but might not be sitting too comfy with cash! If you wanna skip all that, tho, feel free to skip to the 29 minute mark.

Love you all! If you feel like giving some gifts to My Good Bad Brain check out patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

Self-care, hydrate, be well my lovelies.

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Avital Ash, a terrific comedian and writer and actor and all around artist type, has a lovely and longer than I expected (what else is new) talk with me about, well, everything? She has some depression and anxiety and other things and we talk about all of it, we talk about darkness and turning that into light, it's just a typical good bad brain mindjam sesh and I hope you dig it as much as I did.

If you like the show, please consider leaving a nice review or even throwing some cash at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

Be well, hydrate, self-care, etc.

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This episode is a conversation with my pal Jason Scardamalia, who lives with me. The comfort and closeness of this makes it almost feel like a brain breather, I think. We discuss the standard models of heteronormative fulfillment and companionship, how we especially as straight men are allowed to feel love and happiness, and the reality of alternatives we have found in our real life of living together and having nourishing friendships with our social circles. We also get into aging and the idea of "maturing" in today's strange world, one with the internet and life modeled by celebrity and drama. I hope you enjoy this chat of ours, I hope you get something out of it that helps or entertains you. Be well, self-care, hydrate.

Throw some cash at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain if you feel so compelled or leave us a nice review, it helps the show terrifically.

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This is the first episode we've done with a mental health professional! Dr. Nicholas Barr is a PhD who has mainly focused his therapeutic studies and work on the area of trauma, especially with combat veterans and homeless youth populations. I talk to much, I think I was maybe kind of anxious or something, I got way more emotional and divulgey on this one at times than I usually do. Nick is really great about it anyway! We had a fascinating talk about trauma, what is it, what does it mean when we say trauma, can we heal trauma, how, what does validation mean, and on and on in typical good bad brain fashion. I hope you dig this show as much as I enjoyed recording it. ALSO people walk in and out of this recording more than, like, any I've done. It's wild. I hope you enjoy this long talk about what fucks us up and how we can get unfucked up! My words, not his, ableist as fuck, sorry. I have to be irreverent about my kooky brain, mmkay!? Lots of love, self-care, hydrate, byeeeeee...

Also, check us out on patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain if you wanna give us some money to keep us goin' and/or leave us a nice review and/or tell some friends who might be into it to check us out! We're growin' a little and that's super nice!

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My good pal Joslyn Davis comes around and we talk about how she stays so Joslyn! Truly Joslyn is a very uniquely bright person, I believe, yet I feel we have a lot in common. I wanted to ask her how she has a brain that seems to think and speed along similarly to mine without it driving her off into the dark parts of town. It's a delight!

Also, my apologies, I messed up recording this so the audio quality of the interview isn't as good as it usually is. It kinda sounds like you're listening to a phone convo? I still think it's a nice talk!

If you dig the show, share us with friends, leave us a review, or throw us cash money at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain ! Thanks y'all!

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Friend and Army veteran Jonathan Jinez sits down for an open talk about PTSD, growing up touched by violence, jiu jitsu, the path to finding help after leaving the service, and the work he does now with marijuana and particularly CBD as a medicine. He's a wonderful guy with a mean toe hold, I hope you get something helpful out of this lovely episode. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Christine Mason is my mom but is also objectively brilliant and wonderful. We jump off from the topic of trauma healing, trauma work, violence rehabilitation. Horrible violence touched my mom's life early and she had kids young and she's made a life out of growing and healing, join us for this talk. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Hello helloooo here's a solo ep about reading the signs and omens, speaking the true language of the world, and generally figuring out how to stop the itch in the back of your soul that is your destiny. Get bonus content on Patreon

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I wrote this ebook a while back, you can find it on amazon actually complete with stupid censorship i thought was useful for search or something at the time but was really dumb to do. just search amazon for "fuck breakups jarrett" and it will come up.

https://www.amazon.com/Fu-k-Breakups-Jarrett-Sleeper-ebook/dp/B00EJ2AUE6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1541113085&sr=8-1&keywords=fuck+breakups+jarrett

that's the link also, if you like the pod, please consider leaving us a nice review or throwing some cash at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

thanks frienz!

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I want to be better, I want to be a better me, I want to be a better me in the world. I think my compass for this is often wrong. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Hey guys. Been havin' a weird one, so here's me goin' through it. I try to avoid this podcast being too like personal processing therapy and a little more broad and applicable about the theoretical, philosophical aspects of mental health but... eh, today I talk about some stuff. Stuff about my dad, my patterns of relationship, and I also spoil A Star is Born about halfway through so... just know that.

Thanks a lot, check out the Patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain if you like the pod, or give us a nice review too, those are both super helpful things! Thanks a lot, take care of yourselves.

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Hey guys. I had a birthday and it was during a lot of other tough things and a lot of old bad tapes got played in my head and I was, well, I was full on good bad brain for sure. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Hey family. Gonna switch to more solo eps for a while. I jumped off this week talking about anxiety attacks I was having and thoughts I was having related to an article about what narcissists see when they look in the mirror which of COURSE I, with the weekly podcast named after my own brain, was interested in reading! Hope you get something out of the ol' pinball brain.

If you like the show consider reviewing us nicely on itunes or checking us out at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

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Hey y'all. I've been feeling honestly like... fine? It's weird to feel that way when your identity feels so wrapped up in constantly being NOT fine. You know? In this very Brain Breathey Brain Breather I explore this thought. Get bonus content on Patreon

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My friend Koda, a beautiful and brilliant musician, photographer, all around person, and he posted something this day I'm gonna copypasta "the burden to get well should not be placed entirely on those who suffer. there is a universal thread that ails all of us - unwittingly or not. listen to the people who are hurting, who struggle to get out of bed, who are haunted." I was gonna do a Brain Breather this week but after reading that in conjunction with some other synchronous messages in my life, I asked him to join me for a conversation and he was nice enough to agree. I hope you get something out of this ep, check us out on patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain if you wanna support the pod and/or please rate and review us 5 stars wherever you can, like all the other pods tell you: it makes a difference! Get bonus content on Patreon

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A lil bb ep with yours truly brain breathing through some busy days, getting what we want, self sabotage or dishsoaping, why we might do this, how it can be good or bad, and the concept of zero days and how easy it is to not have them any more. Get bonus content on Patreon

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This episode is about death. It's weird. I saw someone die a few weeks ago and it was very awful and strange. I just spend this time thinking about it, the nature of it and my personal history with it, which is quite mundane. Death is part of life and equally as incomprehensible. I think this episode is not elegant, I think I say fucked up things, I think maybe I am fucked up. My Good Bad Brain so far has shown me that my honest weirdness and confusion and probably general incorrectness resonates with other humans who also don't feel and act the way a person is "supposed to" or don't know what that even is. So, that's in here for sure. IDK. Anyway. Hope you get something out of this. Self - care, hydrate, etc. Get bonus content on Patreon

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A delightful convo with Zachary Campbell, primarily about body dysmorphia but we get off and talk about all kinds of stuff. Zachary is an amazing, beautiful person. I hope you get something helpful out of our talk. Get bonus content on Patreon

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A solo ep, as usual every other week, Jarrett talking to Jarrett about getting through life with My Good Bad Brain. Today is about the power of narratives and using an understanding of them to help maintain an understanding of paradox to help ourselves improve ourselves. Also the question of intent comes up, the utility of self coaching with brainless navy seal tough guy stuff, picking and choosing what serves us or doesn't, video games as a helpful paradigm for testing positive thinking and manifestations strategies, NO RAGRETS, and... well I say the word paradox a lot. And maybe challenge The Universe to a fight? It's the longest Brain Breather yet.

music link i mentioned, stuff i made with jason scardamalia and just jason scardamalia stuff: https://soundcloud.com/jsmusicjs

and patreon link of course, very helpful if you use it!: www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain

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The wonderful Lisa Schwartz has done a lot of stuff on YouTube and has written and produced and performed in lots of shows and performed at a lot of birthday parties but you can find all that out with google, if you don't already know. Today we talk about fun stuff our good bad brains get up to, Lisa talks about her OCD and Anxiety and we talk about impending death and curiosity vs. judgment and the strange what is going on here "humanity" of YouTube and reality TV. I hope you love it! (Oh, also, we discuss an article called "Do Trigger Warnings Help or Harm?" by Steve Rathje from Psychology Today you can read it here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/words-matter/201808/do-trigger-warnings-help-or-harm ) Get bonus content on Patreon

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So, this is an old thing I put together and was reminded of when someone sent me a message about it last week. They said they still listen to it when they go to sleep and I thought that was pretty nice. I explain the idea in the opener, but it's a not quite ASMR not quiet ambient meditation not quite music not quite poetry reading not quite podcast collection of all those things and I just called it a Dreamtape. Something to zone out to or workout to or chill to or do chores to or fall asleep to. I never made another one, but being reminded of it this week has made me think I might. I hope you dig it, let me know! Thank you to Jason Scardamalia for all the music collaboration and contribution. Get bonus content on Patreon

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We're back with a brain breather this week and in it I share about something called TOXIC SHAME which a therapist told me about a while back, introduced to me with a poem which I present in this podcast. It's a big and helpful concept, not like, in it's effect, but in having a name for this thing a lot of us carry. That weirdly corrosive center gifted to us by trauma. At least, that's my understanding of it. I got pretty intense with my self-talk in this one, I hope you find something useful in it. Hydrate, self care, be well.

(Oh, if you dig this, of course please find us on patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain and also follow me @jarrett_sleeper on instagram and @jarrettsleeper on twitter and @jarrettsleeper on Facebook! You will find me doing MGBB stuff, poetry stuff, and a whole bunch of other general GAC)

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Hey fam. Today actor, musician, all around living artist Adam Busch joins me for some good old MGBB ramble about being a person. I'm going to try some new things with the pod moving forward but this one was good ol' fashion hang and cosmic chat. Being a person stuff, art stuff, being ruled by narratives, anxiety and performance and adhd and lots of stuff. Oh, also, Adam wrote a song for this one. It's at the end and it's really beautiful, I've listened to it a lot. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Well, hello y'all, back here with a Brain Breather. Just so you know, this is a few weeks ago that I did this one, that's how Brain Breathers work, if you dig 'em and want 'em fresh and hot they come out much earlier along the timeline on Patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain.

This ep caught me a day or so after having a terrible depression bubble, I talk a bit about systems I decided to try of self-care and I'm happy to report, 5 weeks or so later on, the exercise regimen I got on back then TRULY worked! Not like fixing me forever but definitely making any derailment or episode I've had since be easier to manage and quicker to get back on track from. Anyway, hope you get something out of this BB ep, see you next week with another longer interview. If you didn't hear last week's interview about faith and brains and such with Erin Robinson, be sure to check that out! It was a GOOD one.

Okay, self-care, hydrate, be well!

(PS: If you're diggin' the pod, why not throw us a couple bucks on Patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain !? Something to consider! Ok, cool, thank you for consideration, bbbbbbbyyyyyye~~~!)

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Today the wonderful Erin Robinson, my good pal from ClevverTV, joins me to speak about faith. I mean, a lot of things, and as always mental health focused, but Erin is one of my few friends who is a truly practicing Christian and i wanted to talk to her about what part her faith plays in her sense of the world. She is very generously open about her experiences with death, leaving home, growing up around prejudice, eating disorders, and meeting her wrathful instincts with love. She's just terrific and we both got a bit emotional during this episode. I really hope you get something out of it or at least enjoy the convo.

(Also, we're on SPOTIFY now! Yay! If you feel like supporting the pod, sign up to do so at patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain, or just leave a nice review! Very helpful stuff, thank you!)

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Heyooo, this is me, back with a little mini solo ep. Brain breather time. Reflecting on finding fault with oneself and making excuses versus explanations. I was a little anxious an gloomy on a gloomy day when I recorded this one. I do so hope you get somethin' out of it. See you next week with another inteview, be well my friends.

Hey if you feel like it, toss some dough at www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain it's a super thing to do!

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Reed Brice is a comedian and editor and all around cool person who has adhd and some other stuff and is also gay and trans. They came in off a rough day (who doesn't love being threatened with hate crime) and proceeded to have an incredibly open conversation with me about all kinds of stuff. I hope you enjoy this ep, it was one of my favorites to do! Get bonus content on Patreon

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Coming off a really rough week in the world, I offer some of my strategies for making my depression brain do things it really doesn't want to do, like stay alive sometimes and segue into an episode that represents what I think is the surest way in the world to make life better and that is just spending time talking with friends you really love. Elliott Morgan is very funny and smart and in complete disclosure we got kinda too high on this episode, which is not normally something I do before interviews, and it's probably the least focused most truly good bad brain pinball extravaganza we've done yet but, you know what, it might be one of my favorites. I don't know. You'll love it or hate it. Maybe it'll work to just zone out and lose any sense of meaning and just hear Elliott and I bounce words off each other in the way we love to do. Get bonus content on Patreon

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This is the first solo episode! I'm gonna, from now on, alternate week to week between a guest and a solo episode which I call a Brain Breather because it's just me letting my brain breathe a little bit. Same topics except instead of me being with a guest it's just me and me and you and my good bad brain. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Traci Stumpf (who is a host and comedian and also my friend) joins me to talk about hypocritspo, this is stuff we like to make fun of but then also we use hypocritically to actually try and improve ourselves, but also we talk about like... just making choices to change oneself? And being motivated by pain, especially shame of hating oneself as a child, especially when you're in your awkward puberty phase and how some of us carry fucked up ideas from that time for a long long time. What's the difference between shame and regret, stuff like that. In typical My Good Bad Brain fashion, we're all over the place. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Zeke Rodrigues Thomas is a producer and voice over artist and writer and improviser and surfer and all around really terrific person. He is also my friend and long time creative compadre. He is also sober, he has been for a long time, and we talk a lot about addiction, "the ism", and discuss some simple subjects like god and the masculine instincts to break things and fuck things. Good Bad Brains indeed. Get bonus content on Patreon

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Lee Newton is an extraordinary individual who has a backwards heart that has forced her to face mortality every day of her life, to the point of actually dying for a bit. Somehow this experience has made her one of the most loving people I know but, more importantly, one of the absolute funniest. We talk FOR-EV-ER. Check it out! Get bonus content on Patreon

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Well, I'll be honest, this one feels a bit messy. I did a long pretty raw opening section about some intellectual and philosophical struggles I'm having surrounding the culture at large, Kanye West, and we get into some issues of the nature of being problematic, having privilege as an oppressor, spurred by Kanye's recent heel turn and a very thoughtful letter from a listener about a word I use. Mitchell is wonderful, we talk about our experiences interacting with our identities and how that relationship shifts when it is placed outside of us, in the context of YouTube and acting and stuff. He also talks about his experiences with OCD and other fun brain times. As always, I hope you find something useful in this big long messy expression of struggling personhood. Get bonus content on Patreon

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After Jarrett talks a bit about practical strategies for getting through a lame depressive episode over the last week, he is joined (I, I am joined, I am writing this, weird) by Lily Marston (henceforth referred to as Lilz) is a producer, editor, and host at Clevver, a YouTube lifestyle and culture network that I work at sometimes also.work at. Observing her for several years as she built a channel no one cared about into the driving relevant engine of a bigass YouTube businesss has been very impressive and inspiring, so I delve into expressing that and asking her about it. She is terrifically open about her own anxiety, feelings of impostor syndrome, and our general confusion over people adhering to inhuman rules written down in ancient texts. Is that a little oblique? Kinda! I hope you like it!

(If you do like it, check us out on Patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain and consider tossing some MOOLAH on this moneyfire or just leave us a nice review! Those are supremely helpful! Or just as good, when your friends aren't looking steal their phones and subscribe them to this pod! Make them listen! Tell them "Oh I like this so much listen to it for the full two hours with me while I watch your response making you feel like you must perform your enjoyment of it for me very uncomfortably!" because that's what friends do.)

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My best friend Miles Thompson is the most inspiring person I know. He is a James Beard Nominated Chef and all around genius who just happens to have Bipolar 1. He's incredibly open and honest about his experiences with that but we also discuss everything from time, the nature of what makes art hit us or not, and late night Del Taco binges and how burrito butts are the best part. Join our Good Bad Brains for another wild ride. Get bonus content on Patreon

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First episode! It's happening folks. Grace talks with me about fear, change, combat sports, our need for certainty, anxiety, and... man I don't know what we didn't talk about. Follow along with our Good Bad Brains. Get bonus content on Patreon

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This is it folks, this is My Good Bad Brain! Well, it's a Teaser, they say you gotta have a teaser, and I made it a little solo minisode talking a little about what the heck's even goin' on here! I'm crazy delighted that you're here, that this is happening, I've been having a ton of conversations with brilliant, beautiful people and lemme tell ya... this pod's gonna be a WILD!! Full episodes drop next week! If you're planning to tune in a bunch, consider going over to http://www.patreon.com/mygoodbadbrain and tossin' us some bread! Thank you. I'm so happy you're here. Get bonus content on Patreon

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