Barbarian is a very good movie and we talk about it. Okay, now on to the important stuff.

For the last six years, I Have Some Notes has been privileged to be part of the Alberta Podcast Network, the brain-baby of founder Karen Unland. Karen's love for local art built a platform for so many of us to stand on and gave us the opportunity to fund our passion projects. Although the APN ended its operation in March, will be forever grateful to Karen as well as Fawnda Mithrush and Breanne Byrne for their tireless work promoting ours and so many other great Alberta-grown shows. We're also thankful to all our dedicated sponsors whose contributions were crucial to keeping the lights on.

But as we say goodbye to the network, a new chapter begins for I Have Some Notes. Today we are excited to announce our show is now sponsored…by YOU! Yes, we have started a Patreon to keep the armchair screenwriting going for many seasons to come. So, if you are able, we humbly ask for a tiny sum of $4 per month. It would mean the world to us to have your support!

But that's not all, we have also started a new Discord Server! Let's face it, Twitter is a tire fire and not a great place to have fun, nuanced discussions about movies. Come join us where we'll be talking about all the latest Hollywood buzz and maybe holding rewriting some movies on the fly. It'll be a great time, so come join us! Become an Armchair Screenwriter at www.patreon.com/ihavesomenotes!

Join our Discord Server!

As 90's action schlock goes, Sylvester Stallone's Judge Dredd is probably better than you remember. The money is all on the screen with great sci-fi sets and a badass animatronic robot. However, we wouldn't be reviewing it on this podcast if it were perfect. The plot is derivative, the villain is boring, and the satire the comic is known for is completely missing.

Listen in as we (mostly Liam) add contemporary social commentary and introduce a new criminal element as the backbone for Dredd's wrongful conviction.

John Dies at the End is a delightfully absurd horror comedy, or at least it would be if it had been better produced. Writer and Ph.D. candidate in Media and Cultural Studies, Pete Morley, joins us to relive this beloved web serial turned cult-classic novel turned mediocre movie in a collective effort to punch it up.

Bless the entertainment conglomerate Disney for churning out mediocre movie after middling movie that will keep this podcast well-supplied into the next decade. Perhaps century.

What film has Disney brought to the Gods of Rewrites as its next sacrifice? Thor: Love and Thunder.

Joining us to reimagine Taika Waittit's second crack at making Marvel magic is comic expert and fellow podcaster Josh Skaar, host of Talking SMAC (Superheroes Movies Animation Comics). Together we seek to eliminate some of the cringe subplots while taking Mjonir-sized swings at a film that is more Mighty Thor than Thor.

Some movies are just made for our podcast. Don't Worry Darling is a beautiful, well-made movie that takes aim at misogyny and the patriarchy in interesting ways but juuuuuuuuust can't quite bring it home.

Liam, Gregg and Scott differ on the level of mess Oliva Wilde's film is, but none can deny how engaging it was to watch. And hey, we're glad we did because it was a lot of fun to reimagine some of the twists and character arcs in a way that could've made for a stronger film.

You can have it fast, you can have it cheap, but you can't have it good. That is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze in a half shell. While not necessarily a bad film, this rushed Turtles sequel was a treasure trove of missed opportunities, some of which should have been fairly obvious to the filmmakers, assuming they had the time to read the source material.

Liam and Gregg take time to fix some minor issues, while Scott goes for broke with a page-one rewrite that celebrates the 90s cartoon.

It is always a bummer when a movie has a killer premise and completely whiffs. M. Night Shyamalan is back on the show for a second time and up to his usual twisty shenanigans (Shyamanigans?). This time the twist completely undermines his premise and makes us think far too much about the mechanics of his magic beach.

Listen in as Liam, Scott and Gregg make one simple change to OLD that helps all the pieces fit more cohesively into place.

Happy New Year, fellow armchair screenwriters! We take a short break from rewriting mediocre movies to talk about some good ones that don't need any rewrites. Liam, Scott and Gregg discuss their top films of the year including one they all agree was a cut above them all.

It's our final movie rewrite of 2022! We hope you're all having a safe, happy holiday curled up in front of the fire listening to us deconstruct and rebuild Edgar Wright's Last Night in Soho.

Admittedly this one was a bit intimidating, but ultimately we landed on several solid paths to a more thematically cohesive and perhaps more contemplative film.

WARNING! Last Night In Soho deals with themes of sexual violence, as does our discussion. 

Kids movies! Fun light-hearted cinema full of catchy songs that get stuck in your head when your kid plays them over and over and over and sings along with them so loudly you can't think straight and you start to think "is this what losing my mind is like?" but no you haven't lost your mind because it is in fact your soul that is sinking into the inky black abyss with each repetition of the horrid whalings of a broadway singer turned accursed voice actor whose unwanted melodic tones trespass through your ears like those worms from Wrath of KHAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Anyway, we rewrote Frozen. Enjoy.

We've talked about mediocre X-Men films before, so for The New Mutants we decided to try something a little different. Returning guests and X-Men experts Robyn Slack (Quantuum Kickflip) and Olav Rokne (Unofficial Hugo Book Club Blog) face off against seasoned movie punch-up veterans Scott C. Bourgeois and Gregg Beever in an epic movie pitch battle. Liam Creswick judges this winner-take-all I Have Some Notes slugfest. What spoils await the victor? I donno, pride or something.

While Brendan Fraser is experiencing a well-deserved renaissance, we thought it would be fun to rewind the clock to look back at his heyday in the 90s. George of the Jungle may have not been his strongest starring role, but there are many who still remember it fondly.

We, of course, look back and find ways to improve Brendan's role. Cutting a couple of needless subplots and more than a few characters, we streamline George of the Jungle to include more George IN the jungle.

Sequels! We love 'em! They're rarely any good and ripe for re-pitching. In Jaws The Revenge's case the film is really devoid of good shark-related kills and spends far too much time focused on the wrong character.

The crew takes turns adding to a new pitch that turns the shark into more of a metaphor before shifting gears into a straight-up supernatural slasher flick.

Ghotbusters: Afterlife may devolve into a cynical cavalcade of nostalgia, but boy what a ride. Glenna Schowalter of the Slugblaster play along podcast Quantum Kickflip joins our cast of armchair screenwriters to punch up a perfectly fine, yet slightly unsatisfying Ghostbusters sequel.

Together the paranormal foursome of pretend producers question the need for familial ties to the original cast, while also toying with the idea of making the O.G. proton slingers the villains.

As we all know video game movies are notorious for being great. They are among the most well-written and thoughtful blockbuster movies Hollywood produces, especially in the earlier 2000s when they definitely weren't cynical cash grabs.

You'd think Lara Croft: Tomb Raider wouldn't be the kind of film we review, but Angelina Jolie's video game adaptation managed to buck the trend of hit film after hit film. It is salvageable, however, as we manage to add more tomb raiding to this Tomb Raider flick.

It was amazing to see all you armchair screenwriters in chat for our LIVE broadcast of Morbius! For those of you who missed while it was live the episode is archived on here YouTube. Of course, you can also listen to it right here on our podcast feed.

Unfortunately Abdul was not able to join us due to a technical issue, but we soldiered on punching up Michael Morbius's relationship with his so-called friend Milo, while also making the film more of a  THE FLY pastiche with requisite R-rated body horror.

We're kicking off season 8 of I Have Some Notes with a killer live show fixing a famous vampiric flop. That's right, armchair screenwriters, it's Morbin' Time!

Please join us on Friday, September 16th at 9 PM MDT for our season premier featuring special guest and talented screenwriter, Abdul Malik.

LIVE SHOW DETAILS Live Stream Link: https://youtu.be/jSDDOu_HwNI Date: Friday, September 16th Time: 9 PM MDT

Season finale we have reached. Fix A bad movie, we will. 

It’s been seven seasons of playing armchair screenwriter on this show, but I dare say no movie has evoked as much emotion and exasperation as The Rise of Skywalker. A deeply flawed movie from start to finish, no director has earned a place on this podcast quite like J.J. Abrams.

As we mention in the show, you all came through big on your fixes for this one, and we sadly could not get to them all. However, we did want to highlight two really interesting pitches from listeners that were too long to read on the show:

Tak’s Pitch 

Sean McKnight’s Pitch

Finally, here is a link to How Bad Movies Are Made feat. The Rise of Skywalker, the video Scott mentions at the end of the show.

Have a great summer, armchair screenwriters! See you in September.

Danica LeBlanc, Anita Bourgeois, and Erin Beever are back for another podcast takeover, and this time they've brought IHSN veteran Glenna Schowalter with them! The movie? 2018's women-led heist extravaganza, OCEAN'S EIGHT.

Together the takeover team works out a new conniving angle for Anne Hathaway's character, as well as adding some much-needed tension when the thieving is at its peak.

Cloud Atlas is an ambitious film about the ties that bind us through the passage of time. It is thoughtful and expertly edited. Does it deserve to be picked apart in the traditional I Have Some Notes fashion? Probably not. However, you suggested and voted for it, and we're not in the habit of disappointing our listeners.

While there are some obvious problematic choices the Wachowskis and company make that could be very easily cleaned up, many of our other notes are more of the picking nits variety. Still, it was a great discussion about a really interesting film.

For our 101st movie fix, Cruella, because here at I Have Some Notes we allow numerical coincidence to dictate the show. In all honesty, Cruella was a pretty good time. It wasn't the least notes we've given to a film, but it was certainly close. Still, the lore of the film was hotly contested, making this a fun episode.

You've heard us talk about fixing a lot of movies, how about our own movie pitches? We've got great ideas, but Hollywood isn't returning our calls, so now we're giving them away for free! Returning guest Robyn Slack of the Quantum Kickflip podcast joins us to pitch some wholly original movies, except the ones that are pitches for existing properties…then they're just mostly original.

Robot Jox spent its budget on some cutting-edge special effects for 1989, and not much else. While the giant mechs looked great, the robot choreography itself was a bit dull. But that aside we found plenty of other easy wins to punch up this B-movie classic. Olav Rokne (of the Hugo Book Club Blog fame) returns for this sci-fi romp! He lends his insights into the genre as well as sharing stories about one of the screenwriters, who he knows personally. 

A classic 80s character is stripped apart and rebuilt by the modern-day Hollywood machine. Robocop may not have been the most cynical of reboot cash grabs, but it certainly missed many of the opportunities it set up for itself.

That's where we jump in to reprogram some of the film's themes and attempt to add some contemporary pathos to a script ironically lacking humanity.

If you grew up in the 90s Adam Sandler probably had a large influence on your sense of humour. He likely did not have a large influence on you as an eventual parent, however. While Big Daddy was certainly a more "mature" turn for Sandler at the time, his childish instincts prevented it from being a really touching comedy about fatherhood.

Speaking of fatherhood, German Villegas of the Modern Manhood podcast joins us this week. The entire upcoming season of Modern Manhood is all about child development, which put Big Daddy right in German's big damn wheelhouse. Together we try to add some stronger comedic structure to the film while also analyzing Sonny Kaufax's style as a father.

Highlander II was so efficient at burning the goodwill of its fanbase George Lucas took it as a personal challenge, and that's how we got The Phantom Menace. We're not exactly Hollywood historians around here, but we're pretty sure that's how it went down.

For some reason, the minds behind Highlander thought the best way to continue the story of a 500-year-old sword-fighting immortal with a rich background, not even Forrest Gump could hold a bucket of shrimp up to by making him an alien who's charged with fixing the ozone layer. Yeah… Suffice it to say we had a lot of gripes with Connor MacLeod's second appearance on the silver screen, but the fixes were a bit difficult. Thankfully Glenna Schowalter of the Quantum Kickflip podcast returns to lend us a head. Get it?

We're diving back into the MCU once again for Marvel's Studios The Eternals, a film rich in characters and short on development. The Note-ernals take passes at spreading the dense plot out over two films as well as dropping an entire sub-plot to make a more breathable single film. We also find an interesting twist on the main villain that would have been far more thematically relevant.

One good asteroid movie deserves another, we always say. For the second time in a row, we're tackling a planet-killing plot device, this time of the Michael Bay variety. Truly there was one simple fix to this oil-riggers-in-space fantasy, and we happened upon it quite quickly. However, we do spend a great deal of time taking shots at Michael, even as Liam is trying to get us to talk about what we liked about the movie.

Not since our Interstellar episode have we spent more time praising a film than giving it notes. Don't Look Up may have been polarizing with audiences, but for the hosts of this show, it was a unanimous thumbs-up. We may have only found a few things to tweak, but that didn't stop us from having a lively discussion about what the film wanted to accomplish and why.

This was a fun one, enjoy!

Love Actually is every kind of romantic comedy you want it to be. It’s got star-crossed lovers, it’s got love triangles and it’s even got your classic 90s style sex romp. Anita Bourgeois of The Read-Along joins us to sift through an actual plethora of love stories in an attempt to fix them all.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is a deeply flawed film, which should make it the perfect fodder for our show, but can it be too flawed? Matthew Vaughn really stretched our capacity and desire to reimagine his movie, to the point that Liam felt the need to apologize to previous films we've given notes to.

Thankfully Evan MacDonald from Kino Lefter stopped by to help. With our combined notes, we explore deleting the resurrection of Colin Firth, eliminating the weird drug plot, and generally giving Pedro Pascal more to do.

Horror aficionado Glenna Schowalter joins us for a deep dive into the genre exploring what makes it tick. Is it the suspense? The scares? The atmosphere? The inventive R-rated kills? It will vary from person to person, to be sure, but this was an extremely fun episode discussing what we look for in a good horror flick. Let us know if you would like to hear more genre deep dives.

Paul W.S. Anderson had to wait an extra week for our Event Horizon episode, but we promise, Paul, it was worth the wait. Big thanks for Olav Rokne for saving our skin at the 11th hour, subbing in for Scott C. Bourgeois who was not available to record.

Together we make minor tweaks to a flawed, yet charming sci-fi horror. A change in motivation here, a removal of a text crawl there. I'd say Paul got off easy.

The all listener curated season continues, and for some reason you picked Charlie's Angels (2019). I love you, listeners, even if I don't understand you. Thankfully, Glenna Schowalter of Quantum Kickflip fame returns to help the Altoids go down a little smoother (that's a funny reference to the movie, you'll just have to trust me). Together we shuffle around the plot twists, add some character conflict and remove weird and unneeded restraining devices.

Season 7 is here! Every movie this season will be chosen by you the listener, and for our season opener Chris on Twitter has selected for us SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY. Prequels are hard, and prequels of cool but relatively thin secondary characters are even harder. With the help of returning guest Robin Slack (Quantum Kickflip) we jettison some unneeded back story, merge two weak characters, and beef up Lando's love of robots.

A recording of our season ending live show with special guest Stephanie Chan! With Steph's help, we took Wonder Woman 1984's gnarly script and  created something hella bodacious. 

Apologies for some of the rare digital compression noises, the audio is lifted directly from the live stream.

We're ending our 6th season in style. Tune in this Friday, July 30th at 9PM MDT for a special LIVE broadcast of I Have Some Notes. We'll be joined by guest Stephanie Chan giving notes to Wonder Woman 1984.

Catch the broadcast on our YouTube Channel or our Facebook Page.

Splash! A classic 80s rom-com with a stacked cast, a fun premise, and just enough flaws to make our show. We look at removing a problematic trope, giving Tom Hanks a relevant occupation and adding more context to the fishy romance.

Splash discussion starts at 00:09:53.

Say what you will about Hollywood, back in the early 2000s they really had their finger on the pulse of sci-fi fans. What they were really clamouring for was a product placement packed, extremely loose adaptation of Isaac Asimov's I, Robot.

Boom. Another home run for studio execs.

Speaking of home runs, we landed Olav Rokne as a guest this week. Olav returns to the show to provide some history and context surrounding Asimov's work, as well as advocate for stories of his that would have made better movies.

The I, Robot discussion starts at 00:16:18.

Christopher Nolan is a wonderful filmmaker who somehow keeps landing films right in our wheelhouse. Say what you will about the man, but he is never boring. There is always good reason to analyze his films forwards and backwards.

Back again to reverse engineer TENET's script is follow podcaster and time travel expert Robyn Slack! Together we unravel this pandemic blockbuster's curious directorial quirks and overcomplicated heist plot.

You may have noticed we are adding some general film discussion off the top of each show, which we hope you're enjoying. However, if you'd like to skip to the TENET discussion, jump to 00:14:03.

It took us six years to get to an M. Night Shyamalan flick, but the writing was in the corn fields, as it were, we were going to get there eventually.

Signs is a film made famous by its plot holes, but it is the film's philosophy that commits the greatest sin. We look to tweak the meaning of Signs to something that would speak a clearer message.

We take a break from furiously rewriting blockbusters to kick back, relax and watch some classic comedies from our youth. Did they hold up? Are they still funny? Has the evolution of our social consciousness rendered them unwatchable?

Join us as we relive the comedy stylings of the 80s and 90s with Dumb & Dumber, Liar Liar, Police Academy, Basketball and UHF.

Watching mediocre to bad movies is exhaustive work, so from time to time we believe we're entitled to treat ourselves. Birds of Prey is just a genuine blast of a film that honestly doesn't deserve a place in the cannon of I Have Some Notes, but don't worry, we still find some nits to pick.  Besides, if we didn't take on Birds of Prey we would have missed out on a glorious opportunity to have Glenna Schowalter back on the show. Together we examine all of Harley Quinn's successes, as well as some of the film's darker aspects. 

Plot holes…gotta catch 'em all! This week we're joined by celebrated musician, sketch comedy artist and newly minted podcaster, Robyn Slack, to assist in training Detective Pikachu to be a better movie.

We contemplate the wisdom of casting Ryan Reynolds, meddle with father and son dynamics, and try to detect a better use for all that bad gas.

Enjoy!

A behemoth of a movie requires a behemoth of an episode, so strap yourself in armchair screenwriters! If you had the stamina for Zack Snyder's Justice League surely you can survive 90 minutes of us rewriting the already rewritten.  But how could we talk about Zack Synder's Justice League without bringing on two of Edmonton's biggest and brightest comic experts to help us break it all down. That's right, Brandon Schatz and Danica LeBlanc from Variant Edition return to relive the the Super Friends all over again.

Blues Brothers 2000 is our first foray into Saturday Night Live movies, and it will likely stand as the most challenging to rewrite. Dan Aykroyd gave us precious little to work with, for a movie billed as a celebration of the Blues, the script feels like the equivalent of Hot Cross Buns.

But all is not lost, Robin from Cinematological joins us to try and crack the musical code of this would-be comedy. Robin also provides a follow-up to our discussion on Netflix stream quality during our Pitch Black episode.

Pitch Black is a movie I dare say most of us remember fondly. After all, it gave us Vin Diesel, and what would the movie going world be like without that living pile of muscle? But, as with every film we choose, it's far from perfect. Listen in as we explore the many ways Pitch Black lets down its secondary characters and how giving them more depth could have made this movie the Pitchest of Black.

Sometimes when I walk away from watching a film for the show I'm not certain it will turn out to be a great episode. The Da Vinci Code is kind of bland and felt like it might not be that exciting to talk about, but boy was I wrong. We had tons to say about it, so much so that the first half of the show went 10 minutes longer than usual.

So enjoy our spirited attempt to fix this famous book adaptation.

Take the first draft of your script, hire an A-list cast, sprinkle in some Guy Ritchie and voila! You've got a Robin Hood.

Trouble is, will anyone watch it? They might have if only they had passed the script over to us for a punch up. Sadly, no one may remember that Jamie Foxx was once in a Robin Hood movie, but you'll remember this episode for all our great fixes!

The thing you have to appreciate about a director like Baz Luhrmann is that he doesn't make boring films. Regardless of the finished product's quality, there will always be plenty to talk about.

And talk we did, discussing The Great Gatsby in all its glitzy glory and bombastic faults. We did decided – rather wisely, I think – not to relitigate the plot of a classic novel, instead focusing on how Baz could have been more successful in his adaptation (hint: no 3D). Enjoy!

We've been released from our cryogenic prison blocks to bring you an all new episode of an old classic. Are movies from the 90s considered classic now? Don't say yes, I want to maintain some illusion of youth.

The boys who note take a cold hard look at Sylvester Stallone's Demolition Man, sending scenes back and forward through time in hopes of generation a better movie. Also this one is chock full of your comments, apparently you had a few notes for old Sly.

Skyscraper, finally! Yes, I know we're late on this one, sometimes life gets in the way of rewriting Hollywood blockbusters with friends. However, the show is here now, and we want to thank you (sort of) for suggesting Dwayne Johnson's ode to Die Hard, and for all the other great movie suggestions that we'll keep them in mind for future episodes.

Speaking of future episodes, this is our last show of 2020. Unfortunately I (Gregg) am too swamped at my day job to produce more shows this year, so we're taking our holiday break early. Normally I would summarize the episode here, but I just want to take a moment to sincerely thank everyone for listening, it's been a tough year and making the show and getting all your input on these mediocre films has been one of the few bright spots.

So, until 2021, stay healthy, stay safe, and keep watching the skies.

Christine is not a movie about a talking car, that's the first thing I learned watching it. It is a John Carpenter film. And while his skilled fingerprints are all over this movie, overall this vehicular horror could use some tuning up.

Glenna Schowalter joins us again for a ride down Armchair Screenwriter Lane, helping us re-imagine the themes floating around the spookem infested car known as Christine.

We recently watched two heavy social media related documentaries, The Social Dilemma and Feels Good Man, both of which left us jonesing to work out our feelings about. Sorry, we don’t offer any fixes for the giant mess Mr. Zuckerberg has made, that’s a bit outside our wheelhouse. We do, however, dive deep into the social and political ramifications of his software and how Facebook, along with many other companies, shape our everyday lives for good and for ill.

Venom is good…actually? Sure there's a serious lack of Spider-man, and there's at least 40-minutes of pointless globetrotting, but overall we have to admit this film is pretty fun.

Of course, that doesn't mean we didn't find plenty to tweak. I mean, the titular symbiote has some real motivation problems, and Riz Ahmed needs a better relationship with his new genocidal alien buddy Riot. No amount of fun can stand in the way of our movie meddling, and we do it all with fan favourite guest, Danica LeBlanc!

September marks the beginning of season six of I Have Some Notes. Six seasons, where does the time go? What is time? I seriously don't know anymore.

Speaking of milestones, we pass 100 episodes like three shows ago and didn't even mention it. Acknowledging significant milestones is for suckers.

Anyway, for the 104th episode *party streamers* we watched DUNGEONS & DRAGONS with our wonderful guest and D&D expert Glenna Schowalter. It's the kind of movie that takes gleeful pride in making all the wrong choices . None of us were interested in fixing it so much as pitching a page-one rewrite.

The Old Guard is a pretty decent movie…there, the end, no need to listen to the show! I suppose if you missed the dulcet tones of our voices, we’ve got some tweaks that might be fun to consider. Gregg adds a new sentimental brotherly subplot, Scott sends Nile into the arms of the villains in the first act and Liam eliminates the TV pilot-esque stinger.

Special thanks to Deja for providing research on this film for us. He dug up all sorts of great tidbits including the fact that the post-production team was made up of 85% women. This is especially impressive considering among the top-grossing films in 2019 only 6% of VFX supervisors were women and just 25% were editors. Even if you weren’t over the moon about the movie, this is definitely refreshing in a frustratingly male dominated industry.

A listener recently asked if we've done an X-Men film yet, and we thought to ourselves: Wow, what an excellent untapped franchise! Of course, what better film for us to tackle than the worst one. This could be our last stand, friends. Liam, Scott, Gregg and special guest Olav Rokne take their first class in X-Men, united by the franchises' potential future, haunted by its past. Together we look to stave off the screenplay apocalypse and attempt to resurrect Dark Phoenix.

Indiana Jones, beloved cultural icon and with a fan base that spans generations, surely suggesting rewrites to a sacred franchise will go over well on the internet.

Liam, Scott and Gregg struggle mightily with trying to fix the character of Willie Scott, while finding a bit of an easier time eliminating the films offensive elements. The end result is a reimagined story that belongs in a museum.

We're back from a brief hiatus! Hope the armchair screenwriting community got along without us, we certainly missed you.

This week we're programming updates for the TRON: LEGACY, Walt Disney's attempt to cash in on a property that made almost no money the first time around. Sounds like a great business strategy to us!

We spend time tweaking the villain, adding conflict for the main characters, and building a new plot device to beef up the secondary characters. Tune to the episode then let us know what you thought of our changes.

Sorry, everyone, the newest episode has been postponed. In the wake of the horrific murder of George Floyd and the massive protests that followed, now doesn’t feel like the time to riff on mediocre movies, so we’re kicking the Tron Legacy episode down the road a bit. We’ll be back soon, but in the meantime, if you are looking for ways to listen, learn, and participate in the fights against systemic racism, here are some things you can do.

On the listen and learning side you can start right here on the Alberta Podcast Network with Modern Manhood’s latest episode “The Murder of George Floyd” in which German speaks to Avry Lewis-McDougall and Sharon Ruyter about their experience living as black people in Edmonton. I also highly recommend the podcast 1619 by Nikole Hannah-Jones and Ava DuVernay’s documentary The 13th. Follow the voices of black and other marginalized groups on social media and soak up all you can about what it’s like to walk in their shoes and how you can be a better ally.

As for participating, I know some of our listeners have been out there protesting, but if, like me, you are concerned about the pandemic, consider donating to a bailout relief fund, or any reputable charity whose mission is to support black people and end racial injustice. I personally donated to the Black Resilience Fund in Portland because of my fondness for that town. I’ve posted links below.

Try to keep in mind that systemic change is going to take a long time, so start planning on how you’re going to continue your support today, tomorrow, and in the months and years ahead.

One last programming note, I’m about to head on vacation, so that means you’ll have to wait until July 13th to hear us take down Tron: Legacy. I apologize for the delay, but I promise we’ll make it worth it. Until then, keep watching the skies.

Links:

• Modern Manhood “The Murder of George Floyd” Episode
• podcast.html">1619 Podcast
• The 13th
• Black Resilience Fund
• Collection of Bailout Funds across the United States

At the height of their careers, Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton joined forces for an explosive disaster movie that had all the trappings of a certified hit. Unfortunately the box office did not agree, and this rather decent volcano flick has laid dormant ever since. Untill now!

We power up our script rewriting robot and attempt to pull Dante's Peak out of the rubble.

James Cameron spent years trying to put a live action version of Alita: Battle Angel up on the silver screen, and once he finally did it took us less than an hour to tell him all the things he could have done better. Sorry James, such is the nature of the internet, eventually three white guys with microphones are going to unnecessarily disassemble all your good work.

Truthfully though, Alita is not a bad film, and while we put it through our notes process, most of our proposed changes revolve around putting this film in a better position to succeed as a series.

We're just trying to help you make another buck James! We don't want you to starve.

Hey, do you love Aladdin? Do you love the Genie and Carpet and Abu? Well now they’re back, in soulless live-action remake form! Hooray.

This episode takes a few twists and turns as we discuss the cultural space Aladdin occupies and how that would affect any rewrites or changes to the film. We also get into a deep tangent about the value of remakes compared to more original screenplays. It’s a good one, listen in!

We asked you to send us your questions for the I Have Some Notes crew, and holy crap did you deliver! We spent this week’s episode covering topics from how COVID-19 will affect movie theatres to our favourite/most hated movies of all time to whether we regret doing The Mighty Ducks (no).

Huge thanks to all our listeners who submitted questions and a special thanks to our podcasting friends Flicks X-Rayed, Repodcasting and Cinematological for sending us audio questions!

This week we take a microscope to the 2001 blockbuster attempt, Evolution. Liam, Scott and Gregg recoil in horror as they watch a decent sci-fi premise turned unnecessarily into a wacky goof-ball comedy.

Reimagining a comedy can be difficult, particularly when "make laugh better" is not an insightful note, but we manage to dig a bit deeper, add some stakes and create an arc or two all while downplaying some characters who were played by poor performers *cough* Orlando Jones *cough*.

What happens when you combine unchecked cinematic ambition with a the world's entire supply of cocaine? You get easily Bruce Willis' strangest (and possible best) film of his career.

As you may recall, we were forced to watch Hudson Hawk after losing the Rotten Tomator Prognosticator to listener Michael Senchuk. Hope you enjoy the episode Mike, because it holds a bit of a surprise.

After having our souls crushed by movies like Beneath the Planet of the Apes and Ready Player One, we decided to take a breather from really, really bad movies. For once during the pandemic we wanted to watch a good movie, so we fired up Netflix and hit play on Sharon Stone's THE QUICK AND THE DEAD.

How do you rewrite or reimagine a movie you have a lot of affection for? With great difficulty! But, as they say, art is never finished, only abandoned. We do, however, end up adjusting the Sam Raimi's firing pin slightly, but only after spending 30 minutes praising his flick.

Are your eyes and ears ready to be assaulted by the densest collage of pop-culture references ever put to film? Perfect! Grab a Jolt, fire up that projection screen TV and insert a coin for Ready Player One.

For an unremarkable film, we couldn't stop talking about it, this is our 2nd longest episode ever. It took a long time to record too, as we were having some audio problems again. Ain't podcastin' fun.

You've been to the The Planet of the Apes, but have you ever wondered "Hey, what's under there? What's beneath that little planet?" Well, wonder no longer! Today we grab our rewriting shovels and dig up Beneath the Planet of the Apes, starring Charlton Heston and a guy who looks exactly like Charlton Heston.

Just a quick note, we had some audio difficulty with this one, we did all we could to touch up the audio and the result is completely listenable, just slightly noisy. Enjoy!

It's a crazy time on this little blue ball of ours, so we hope we can provide you with a little distraction by reimagining the 2017 remake of Power Rangers. Thanks to listener Thomas Meehan for suggesting this movie to us.

The boilerplate pitch for this film must have been "Hey, what if we remade The Breakfast Club, but it was also Power Rangers?" but somehow doesn't capitalize. Instead, this remake contains a whole lot of training montage and not much else. 

Gregg mistakenly attributes Power Rangers to Michael Bay's production company, which is incorrect. I could have edited it out, but I'm lazy. Go Go Lazy Producer!

We have yet to tackle a romantic comedy here at the I Have Some Notes studios – a.k.a. Gregg's basement – and for our first rom-com punch up we decided to examine perhaps the greatest on screen couple of all time, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, in easily their second best effort: You've Got Mail.

We had a lot to say about this one, although the rewrites themselves were quick and easy. Oh, and here is a link to the Onion article Scott mentions.

Before the Matthew McConaissance or the Christain Balevolution or even the Gerard Butleration, there was Reign of Fire. This 2002 dragon apocalypse blockbuster had it all: a killer concept, an embarrassment of riches in its cast, and yet it couldn't convert on any of it. The only plus side is that this pile of mediocrity is right in our noting wheelhouse.

Liam, Gregg and Scott get into a spirited debate over what direction to take in this one, however. In the end, however, one of us earns the consensus of our listens.

One last quick note, we recorded this episode over the internet, so while the audio quality is perfectly fine, it's not totally where we want it. Bare with us, this is a work in progress.

We haven't put many Marvel movies through the notes process, and none from the MCU era. While Marvel has certainly been the more successful brand of comics-turn-movie, they are not flawless. That's where we come in!

Smash the play button to hear our Heroes of Note suit up for their first crack at the MCU in Iron Man 2.

Also, Liam recommended a video to watch towards just before the ad break, I haven't got the link yet, but I will add it when I do. Okay, now enjoy the show. EDIT: Here it is.

After wrapping up our discussion on the best movies of the 2010s we kept the mics on to continue the conversation on the decade that was. We discuss the impact of the biggest tentpole films, touch on some of the decade's the worst films and chat about our hopes and dreams for cinema in the 2020s. 

But that's not all, our friends Abdul, Evan and Laura from Kino Lefter take over the show for 9 minutes to give us their top 10 of the past 10. We're sorry we couldn't fit you into the main episode, friends, but thank you so much for submitting your lists, really fun to get your perspectives.

One last thing before you hit play, we're taking a bit of a break in January to both recharge the creative batteries and to switch our podcast feed to a new provider. The feed transition should be a smooth one, but we'll let you know on Twitter and Facebook if there are any hiccups.

The decade is over! Yes, the calendar is about to roll over to 2020, you are 10 years older than you were and have lived through another era of movies. As with the end of all eras, it's time to look back, reflect, and pointlessly rank subjective art.

It's in that spirit that we present our Top 10 Films of the Decade. Liam, Gregg and Scott have carefully curated their lists and recorded celebrations of each film in exhaustive detail. This is the longest episode of I Have Some Notes yet, so strap in.

Also, our friends a Flicks X-rayed, Emily Missed Out and Cinematological have sent us their top ten lists as well, filling this episode to the brim with diverse perspectives on what were the greatest movies of the past 10 years. Big thanks to our podcast buds for contributing to the episode.

Alright, all that's left to do now is to pour yourself an eggnog, sit by an open fire and hit that play button. Follow along with our top ten lists below:

Liam

10. Arrival (2016) 9. What We Do in the Shadows (2014) 8. Anomalisa (2015) 7. Into the Spider-Verse (2019) 6. Baby Driver (2017) 5. Get Out (2018) 4. Sorry to Bother You (2018) 3. Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010) 2. Mad Max: Fury Road 1. The Greasy Strangler (2016)

Gregg

10. Edge of Tomorrow (2014) 9. Interstellar (2014) 8. Jojo Rabbit (2019) 7. Your Name (2017) 6. OJ: Made in America (2016) 5. The Handmaiden (2016) 4. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) 3. The 13th (2016) 2. Molly's Game (2017) 1. Arrival (2016)

Scott

10. Cabin in the Woods (2011) 9. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) 8. Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) 7. Paddington (2014) 6. Blade Runner 2049 (2017) 5. Annihilation (2018) 4. The Nice Guys (2016) 3. Avengers (2012) 2. John Wick (2014) 1. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Frank Herbert's Dune is a novel of intense size and scope, and somehow Hollywood, in their infinite hubris, felt they could condense it all into a single 3 hour movie. The only thing more egotistical than that is to think all that movie's problems could be fixed in 1 hour.

Thankfully we have enormous egos, and thus we have a new episode for you. Liam, Gregg and Scott drink deep the water of life, inhale the font of spice, and bask in the light of Sting to fix this 1984 epic.

On August 28th, 2003, pizza delivery driver Brian Wells was jumped, forced to wear a bomb and told to rob a bank or the bomb would be detonated. He tragically died after failing to complete the task in time.

I know what you're thinking, that sounds hilarious! Someone should make a comedy out of it.

Well, you're in luck, because Hollywood doesn't know the meaning of decency and 30 Seconds or Less now can be found in DVD bargain bins the world over.

I've thrown a lot of shade at this film, but it's actually right in our sweet spot. A mediocre comedy that, with a couple tweaks, could have been decent flick, optics not-withstanding. Listen in as we propose Jesse Eisenberg and Danny McBride go darker and explore the depths of one of America's weirdest bank robberies.

We have long been told that "The Rock is Perfect," but is he? This week we put Dwayne's appeal to the ultimate test, can it survive barely 90 minutes of extremely mild sword and sandals action? Will The Scorpion King forever leave doubt in our mind that TRIP? Liam, Gregg and Scott break down the Mummy sequel/prequel that apparently spawned a direct-to-DVD series of films, none starting The Rock. At first it seems the boys won't pull it off, but soon the fixes coming Fast and Furious. (sorry) (not really)

We didn't so much choose to watch Freddy vs. Jason as it was inflicted upon us. For that we have our good friend Tony from Flicks X-rayed to thank. Tony beat us fair and square (probably) in the Rotten Tomator Prognosticator and got to choose our next film, and for some reason he chose the dullest cross-over film since The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones. Best I can figure it, Tony has some kind of grudge against us. However, we like a challenge at I Have Some Notes, and we tried our level best to sharpen the knives of this dull monster mashup.

Well, this is one movie we are not giggy with. Nineties movies typically have some bad taste jokes we’ve long since learned are not appropriate, but like an oddly placed giant mechanical spider, this movie is rife with them. 

Liam, Gregg and Scott power through another rewrite, ditching problematic jokes and giving the singular woman in the film something to do (another common theme in our 90s rewrites). Steampunk cowboys should have been easy money, but Will Smith and Kevin Kline showed us that any winning concept can bomb if you try hard enough.

You may remember, back in March, we started a friendly wager amongst our fellow podcasters to see who could best predict the quality of 2019's summer blockbusters. "March?!" I can hear you say, "I barely remember what episode of Voyager I watched last night." Fair enough, let's remind you of the rules, the prize and who participated.

Each contestant guessed the Rotten Tomatoes ratings for an agreed upon list of summer blockbuster movies. Scores were determined by the difference between the guess and the final score of each movie.

For example, I guessed Avengers: Endgame would land at 84% and its actual Rotten Tomatoes rating was 94%, so my score was 10.

Today we tally all the scores to find out who amongst fellow podcasters from the PS2J Show, Flicks X-rayed, Modern Manhood, Emily Missed Out and Repodcasting podcasts. The person with the lowest total win and gets to select a movie the losers must watch and either live Tweet, or record an episode on. 

I'm burying the lead here, but we've two special guests turned up for the Rotten Tomator Prognosticator Finale. Our beloved former Colin is back (already!) to talk about why he guessed so bad. We also have Tony from the Flicks X-rayed podcast, the lone non-I Have Some Notes member. Hmmm…wonder why he would be here. Welp, guess you'll have to listen to find out!

You can see all the final score RIGHT HERE!

Our listeners can be forgiven for thinking at this point that we hate the giant monster genre. After all, we've already taken Pacific Rim and Godzilla to the rewriters room, and now we're doing the same for Jordan Vogt-Roberts' Kong: Skull Island. The truth is we've genuinely liked all these movies (well, maybe not Gregg, but what does he like, honestly?), but even the most beloved movies can always be reexamined, tweaked and rejigged.

Liam, Gregg and Scott do just that for Kong, taking special aim at the relatively blank cast of characters, as well as tweaking some motivations and, of course, deleting the protagonist.

Liam Creswick choose easily the most colourful and frenetic movie we've attempted to rewrite yet for his first episode as host: Speed Racer. 

We spend the bulk of the episode exhausting Lana and Lilly Wachowski for their ability to make interesting choices. Whether they are good choices is up for debate, but they are never boring.  But, with great respect for wild choices, Gregg modifies the mystic surrounding Racer X, Liam cuts the amount of Chim Chim to just Chim and Scott expands the concept into an 8-part mini-series, because Speed Racer is a drug he can't get enough of.

Last month Colin retired as host of I Have Some Notes, so we decided for our bonus Side Notes episode we would salute the man who's given us so many laughs over these past three years. With that, we give you the very BEST of Colin MacIntyre. Thanks for everything buddy, we love ya!

Our break is nearly over and season five is just around the corner, so stay tuned to our Twitter and Facebook feeds to get your notes in for the upcoming season premiere!

The Green Lantern has got Blake Lively in it and not much else. We're used to watching some colourless DC comic book movies around here, but Green Lantern might be the drabbest. However, the blander the script the greater the challenge, Right? And we've got Edmonton comedian Liam Creswick aboard to light the blackest screenwriting.

This episode is bittersweet for us, as it is Colin's swan song as host of the show. As a founding member of I Have Some Notes, Colin helped shape our movie fixing podcast into the hilarious, insightful show it is today. I've always felt Colin's positive energy and brilliant sense of humour set the tone for the show, and probably prevented Scott and I from downing ourselves in the obsessively nerdy details. 

We wish Colin and his wife Crystal all the best as their family expands by one more. The show must go on, but there is only one Colin MacIntyre. Thanks for everything buddy, we'll see you again soon, because you are now top of our guest list.

Yup, we're criticizing another DC movie in The Dark Knight Rises. If at this point you feel like we're just picking on DC film it would be hard for me to disagree, because we're even rewriting the good ones now. So…fine, we're DC haters and Marvel fanboys. You caught us.

It's also somehow our second Chris Nolan film. Yikes.

In our defence, The Dark Knight Rises is a film that legitimately could use some tweaks, and that is what we're here for. We rearrange the the rising and falling and rising again of Batman into a film I think we all truly wanted to see.

Also, stay tuned at the end of the show for some news about coming changes to the show.

The White House is being attacked by North Korean terrorists who are setting the monument ablaze. You're probably thinking "good, let it burn", but this script is pre-2016, back when it was occupied by someone worthy of respect and you might have cheered Gerard Butler on save it.

And save it he does, in the blandest, most mind-numbingly average way possible.

But not to worry, Colin, Gregg and Scott hold cabinet positions in the Department of Movie Fixing. We do a White House tear Down and raise the I Have Some Notes flag over top the house we rebuilt in its place.

In 1995 the internet was a new, fledgling technology and baby boomer screenwriters were super scared of it. They imagined a world in which all your information is stored online by a giant, nefarious software company who can use your data against you. Crazy boomers, so paranoid.

Of course today the internet is a totally safe place for everyone, a place where we can look back at Sandra Bullock's THE NET and laugh. HA HA…ha…ha………

Abdul Malik of the Kino Lefter podcast joins Colin, Gregg and Scott to upload a patch for this 90's "thriller". 

For the first time we set our sights on a 3D animated kids movie, proving that no film is beyond the reach of our desire to cynically rewrite Hollywood's most popular movies.

Colin, Gregg and Scott peak inside the Secret Life of Pets to find weak motivations and convenient plot devices and together discover they're wasting their lives. How has it come to this, seriously discussing the merits of a Louis C.K. dog movie?

Christopher Nolan may be the most prolific and successful blockbuster filmmaker of our generation, so naturally we felt the need to pick apart one of his movies. His films are brilliant, fun and inventive, but they aren't perfect. There's always room for improvement, and who better to launch a reimagined Interstellar into the atmosphere than a rag tag crew of middle-aged, arm-chair screen writers? No one, that's who.

This episode has been a long time coming. Years back, when Colin and Gregg sat down at the Route 99 Diner to hammer out a new movie podcast, Godzilla was on the early list of film to go through the notes process. How it took us 4 years to get to it is anyone's guess. Let's say a health fear of giant, city destroying monsters.

But good kaiju movies come to those who wait, and we've got some atomic fixes for this Gareth Edwards monster mash. Now smash that play button!

Once a year we look to the stars for another Star Trek movie to fix, and this year it is Star Trek: Insurrection's turn. Admiral Beever, Captain Bourgeois and Acting Ensign Colin MacIntyre lock and load for a battle with sci-fi mediocrity.

We keep picking on Next Generation movies, for good reason, they aren't great. But we've only got one more to go, and then we're one to other Trek movies. I've personally go my phasers locked on those J.J. Abrams films.

You knew this was coming. At some point we were going to get around to Michael Bay's bombastic robot punch fest, Transformers. It was inevitable. 

None of your hosts wanted to watch this movie. It's long, it's obnoxious, and it assaults all your senses all of the time. The things we do for our audience.

Spoiler alert: the first cut we make is Michael Bay. Not particularly surprising, but you may find some of our other keeps, cuts and changes surprising.

Summer blockbuster season is upon us and we're back with another critic score prediction show, the Rotten Tomater Prognosticator. This year, not only will Colin, Gregg and Scott be competing to be crowned the Nostradamus of movie quality predicting, but they'll also be contending with fellow podcasters from the PS2J Show, Flicks X-rayed, Modern Manhood, Emily Missed Out and Repodcasting podcasts.

Follow the LEADER BOARD HERE!

The Rules Each contestant guesses the final Rotten Tomatoes ratings for an agreed upon list of summer blockbuster movies. Scores are determined by the difference between the guess and the final score of each movie.

For example, if I guess Avengers: Endgame will land at 80% and the actual Rotten Tomatoes rating is 90%, my score is 10.

At the end of the summer we tally all the scores, and whoever has the lowest total is deemed the most accurate, and the winner!

The Prize In addition to all the prestige and glory, the winner will get to select a movie the losers must watch and either live Tweet, or record an episode on. 

So tune into the episode to hear all of Colin, Gregg and Scott's wild guesses and rationals for such guesses. Are they out to lunch? Are they spot on? Hit us on the social medias and let us know what you think.

Here are the time stamps if you want to jump around:

• 2:23 – Game Rules
• 3:50 – Shazam!
• 6:26 – Hellboy
• 8:46 – Avengers: Endgame
• 12:00 – Detective Pikachu
• 16:15 – John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum
• 18:50 – Aladdin
• 23:58 – Godzilla: King of Monsters
• 26:14 – X-Men: Dark Phoenix
• 29:29 – MIB: International
• 32:01 – Toy Story 4
• 33:55 – Spider-man: Far From Home
• 36:25 – The Lion King
• 39:50 – Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
• 41:14 – Hobbes & Shaw