Wow. 

This is it! The last one! You made it to the weird little farmhouse at the end of the driveway. You thought you might have taken a wrong turn, but no. That's us, waving, from the windows! You were on the right road all along. And what a road it's been.

Thank you, sincerely, for your love, your feedback, your participation, your questions, your games, your laughter (we assume), your tears (we assume), and your support during this strange five-year thing that we decided to do and see if anybody liked. It's been an absolute treat, in the best possible way.

As Ronald McDonald once said: I'm lovin' it.

Topics for the Finaltheticast include: Bugs Need to Calm Down and Smile More, You Are Jason, Every Single Card I Get in the Mail Goes in There, Would You Try to Get Me, We Are All a Spider in God's Beard, Livin' La Vida Donka, Treat Me Like a Cow, and The Nightmare of Being a Human Sized Snail.

***

Come say goodbye forever to us in the FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to start listening to from the beginning again, but on a different app. It'll be like a whole new journey! I bet we even sound better over there. 

The Final Meat. 

Well, three mini-meats, actually. Which is great! David, Emily, and Mike all bring a meaty question of their own. Get ready to talk Pokemon, Moon Murder, and Endings.

Topics include: Stumpkin, Here I Come Bologna, Paperoni, Squirtguns and Fortresses, Just as Fucked Up as Everything Else, Antarctic Crimes, Change Every Version of Beauty and the Beast, and A Bobbsey Twins Book With a Gun.

***

Come say goodbye forever to us in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think the whole reason anybody wants to go into space is to be the first person to murder someone else in space. 

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Come in. Sit down in the first of three chairs we've prepared for you. This one is labeled "Would You Blank It," and while sitting in it, you'll witness the final round of this game we truly did invent

All this time, we've been trying to reach the perfect equilibrium, and I'm pretty sure we finally did.

Topics include: That Big Baby is Pooping Somewhere, Jort in Solidarity, A Medium Guy, Going Jesus or Going Moses, Burning Books is Fine, He Just Puts His Hands in Them, and Ramping Up Our Merch.

***

Come say goodbye to us in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you understand why they went to a Post Office.

Red. Flags.

It's the last time we get to create attractive, strange, or maybe downright repulsive people to date! Get in here and talk to us about dealbreakers. Is cookie breath even GOOD?

Topics include: Radio Rental, Thinking About the Radisson Blue, Aggressively-Gendered Nannies, I Don't Love Children, Cassie with the Cookie Breath, They're Practically Free, A Rodeo Champion and a Rocket Scientist, Cure Cancer with Kisses, and That Ark Might Come in Handy.

***

Come say goodbye to us, and other fans of the show (you'll never talk to them again!) in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you're pretty sure being a Rocket Champion is better than a Rodeo Scientist. 

Would. I. Rather.

This one's about US. Well, it's also about how well we know each other. Some of us wrote questions beforehand, some of us read some beautiful pre-generated questions mostly about rattlesnakes, and some of us made them up on the spot. But no matter the method, we all learned something about each other. And ourselves.

Topics include: If You Wanna Shine You Can Shine Any Damn Day You Want, Houseboat Houseboat Hole, Four Skeletons, I've Grown Up a Little Bit, No Gods No Masters Only Daves, Let's Get Trapped in an Elevator, and I Want it to Be Just For My Personality.

***

Remember, get your listener-submitted would-you-rathers for our FINALTHETICAST in by December 8th! Make 'em gooooood.

Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think that every podcast has a winner.

Oh, hi! It's the sixth-to-last episode of this wonderful, beautiful little son that we call a "podcast." What a thing. We're playing Dark Stories one last time, because we're just feelin' too dang optimistic about the world and we really gotta season it with some BUMMERS. Just kidding. There's a clown in this one.

Topics include: The Hexapenultimate Episode, SMS Text Message, Did Something Enter His Body, I'm Sure It's Offensive, That Happens a Lot, Let's Make a Really Loud Fire, Oh My Car, and He Tested Me.

*** Remember, get your listener-submitted would-you-rathers for our FINALTHETICAST in by December 8th! WE NEED 'EM.

Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think that you can make a really loud fire.

It's time for another FINAL ROUND of a BEAUTIFUL GAME. That's right, on this, our 7th-to-last-episode of the Hypotheticast, we're playing our final round of one of our favorite games: The Good, The Bad, and The Answer! 

Tune in as we imagine, and then critique each other's imagination! That's fun, right? Oh, yes. 

Topics include: Sandy Windyhouse, We Were Such Little Babies, Nobody Will Forget Emily Dussault, I Think From Now On You Should Scoop Your Own Litter Box, Theatre Goosts, Got a Little Chill; Better Shut the Fuck Up, Not Everything Can Be Crushed, Especially the Underwear, and Neon Brown. 

***

Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think there's a pretty good chance you'd marry a human version of YOUR pet. 

Oh my god, hi! I can't believe it's you! And you're positively glowing. You're just in time — we're playing a game called Fallout Shelter. It's that ol' apocalyptic mix-em-up with beings + powers + accessories that always brings a smile to the brain. Oh, and there's an important announcement in this episode, so listen. Listen to it! To this episode!

Topics include: Make a Butt Listen to Our Podcast, Punish Me with Old Food, She's Single, Well That's What He Has, Time's Up On That, and Emily's Frat Guy Friends.

***

Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you would have gone with Stinky Kim.

Food! Do you like? I like. Of all the things, Food is certainly one of them. And it's at least in my top five! I'm a real fan. 

Today, we're going to design some celebrity meals — inspired by the Saweetie Meal — but for celebrities and restaurants you . . . might not think to combine. 

Topics include: Strong and Hot, Christmas Freaks, I Like Quiznos, Can I Have the Olive Loaf?, They Shred the Pig in Front of You, We're Going to Give You Over to Dairy Queen, and When You're Here We're Your Family.

***

Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you can think of a pickled thing you wouldn't put in a Quiznos Sandwich. 

***CONTENT WARNING: one specific story about bug infestation and human decay.*** He's almost here! Old Mr. Skeletons himself, the self-proclaimed and Wal-Mart Sponsored "Santa of Halloween." It's not a good ad campaign, but it is technically an ad campaign. 

But really, the ween is close. So, gather round, and listen to us answer one HUNDRED spooky would-you-rathers. We did all one hundred. We did.

Topics include: It's Too Close to Halloween to Use Phones, I Love Spooky, I Am Not Bringing the Spiders to Work, With the Power of Bugs Anything Can Happen, Oh My God a Duck is Here, Scare Package, Do You Want to Bleed Out of Your Whole Body or Get Killed by Me, and Scary Laugh.

***

Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you knew that we could liquify.