Remember that everyone feels a sense of self-doubt and that can actually be a sign you’re pushing yourself to grow. We can help ourselves to curate an inner reservoir of “I got this” by using thought-hacks and mental work-arounds. This is how we choose to widen or our locus of control: it’s a subtle shift toward feeling we are riding the wave versus being pummeled by it. It’s all about mentally moving ourselves to the top of the wave that is life and fear.

My goal is for you to leave this episode with an increased sense of risk tolerance and have a few work arounds in the moments you suffer from a feeling of lack/imposter syndrome. Never forget – some of the most outwardly successful people in the world are utterly miserable. Happiness and self-love are things we curate from the inside and they emanate outwards. They’re not created from outside conditions. It all starts with a choice – to make the inside be the truest metric of success.

I invite you to ask yourself – “How do I want to feel?” Inspired. Confident. Self-loving. Self-forgiving. I want to be always okay, no matter what anyone else says, and no matter what I have “won” in my life. I am enough as I am.

Sending so much love friends.

And to support this week’s sponsor, please check out Native Sunscreen!

Give your skin the protection it deserves with Native’s mineral Sunscreens! Go to www.NativeDeo.com/HelpMeBeMe or use promo code helpmebeme at checkout, to get twenty 20% off your first order.

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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The energy inside creates what you see outside. What are you putting out to the world with your energy? That’s coming right back into you, creating your life experience. Something I’ve been doing lately to really self-examine and rise about my own smallness, is what I’ll call turning inward. When I hate on something or criticize a person in my mind, I do a turnaround: I look at that reaction and examine it like it is targeted at myself, so I can feel what I am creating. If you find yourself being critical, it’s usually coming from fear and judgement in you that is hurtful all-around. The reason to do this process of turning things inward is everyone wins! You win: your life and happiness benefit but also the world wins. Not to mention, it creates a totally different world via your perception.

This is an episode for anyone who wants to grow in the direction of more whole, less needy and less insecure. Growth is a great project to have, and one that is lifelong. It’s something we can do incrementally – with super tiny but deliberate thought-hacks. Regardless, make sure you’re always giving yourself mental space to focus for yourself for growth. In your capacity, in your compassion, in your maturity.

Sending love to all of you and if you’d like to support our sponsor this week while becoming a better person, check out Headspace!

Headspace has helped me and more than 100 million people worldwide. They can help you too! For a limited time, all of you can try Headspace free for 30 days by going to Headspace.com/HelpMeBeMe

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The Byron Katie book I mentioned in this episode can be found here:

https://amzn.to/3FXc53G 

And to find more of my work or make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is an episode that creates a very gentle initiation of a change in your life. A change of lifestyle, a change of perspective, a change of overall bar, and ultimately a change of epic and wonderful proportions. It’s all about getting on the level with yourself and then getting all the ducks in a row. I look at this as the first stage of building momentum toward something big and great like a paradigm shift.

This is about getting literal about something you want to change: really visualizing it while also letting go of the energy of struggle. Struggles that result from fear or the struggles that result from impatience and muscling toward a goal.

This is aimed at allowing you to set (a seemingly) lofty goal and then “getting right with yourself.” By that I mean really looking at where you are and what needs to be done.

When you can state an intention from a place of truth and full transparency, everything aligns. The key in this is really meaning and letting go of how it will happen or if it will happen. Just saying “I choose this.” It starts with that. What will you choose? 

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Here’s the quit smoking book "Alan Carr’s Easy Way" – if you’re addicted to something, read it or any of the other Alan Carr editions. If you already read it and didn't quit, read it again! I had to read it a few times.

https://amzn.to/3TvFsjv

And here are the episodes I mentioned on boundary setting:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000535368733

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000532339844

And here’s a great book all about staying curious and pursuing your own excellence – I can’t stop recommending it!! It’s “The Artist’s Way.”

https://amzn.to/3FkuaIM

For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Never forget that change is possible and at any point in time. This is an episode for anyone who is feeling a bit stagnant or perhaps uninspired, so-so, bored, or stuck. I think sometimes when we get depressed we don’t even notice. Because in your conscious mind, you can easily distract and get into your phone, the limitless options on streaming, or busy yourself with work. If you’re unsure, you can look to your behavior as a way to discern whether or not you are happy and thriving. Are you not interested in doing much? Are you neutral on many things? Do you feel like a blank piece of paper? If you are happy and thriving, you will feel your aliveness: you feel energized and ready to go when you wake up. It’s like a feeling of excitement for life. If you’d like to get more of that, this is an episode for you.

With this episode, I really wanted to paint the picture of how change can happen. It can happen today. It doesn’t need to be hard, but when we get into grooves of feeling hopeless we think that it’s too hard. We start to focus on the wrong things – suddenly we are looking down at our feet saying, “I don’t like where they’re standing.” This kind of thinking is just wasted energy. Look at where you want to go.

Let’s tune the engine!

To support of sponsor this week, please checkout and download Headspace! The best meditation app ever! You can go to www.headspace.com/helpmebeme to get Headspace free for 30 days!

For more of my work and to make a donation you can go to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Roles! What do I mean by that: I mean unspoken hierarchies, relational patterns, engrained and felt archetypes that our family, friends and coworkers reinforce and we reinforce in how we interact with them. This episode is a bit meta. What do I mean by that? It looks at implied and non-verbal communication that creates a lot of the feelings and manifestations in your person via your relationships. So much of communication is non-verbal and implied with tone, delivery, physical cues, subtext, or plays off contextual meaning. We are reading our “place” in a particular situation at the same time as we are dictating our place by how we set boundaries, what we tolerate and how we react to others. This episode is not about dissecting how those situations occur – it’s more a reflection exercise for you to examine the role you have taken on in any given relationship and consider whether or not you want to shift it. We control so much with how we choose to dance in a set of given rhythms.

So this is an invitation to examine the relationships in which you play a role that is not bringing out your best, most joyful and positive self. Maybe it’s in your family of origin. Maybe it’s at work with your coworkers. Maybe it’s in your new family unit. Or a friend group. Regardless we can change everything just with how we covet and respect ourselves!

To read more about how family systems work/manifest, you can check out these books:

https://amzn.to/3IlYDYW

https://amzn.to/3lD7igt

For more about setting boundaries you can check out

https://amzn.to/40NADoG

For some studies around eating disorders and the interactivity of family dynamics you can check out

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5633277/

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02046/full

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-food-is-family/201204/issues-in-attachment-may-contribute-eating-disorders

For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Becoming the expert on you. There’s an optimal range of functioning that we want to stay within in order to enjoy our lives and bring all of our selves “into the room.” When we get tipped in the direction of feeling too hurried or too sluggish, that is something that we can learn to recognize and then regulate– just like that dial that turns the heat up or down in your home.

Why? Because the truth is – everything can be simple and your body can remain calm. No matter the situation, it will happen one minute at a time. We are only in the moment we are living right now and to approach that from a place of serenity will allow us to honor our truth at any given time.

I hope you enjoy this and for more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is for anyone who struggles with thoughts that are self-critical and deactivating. Our goal with this episode is beginning to teach ourselves to not attach or engage with the thoughts that aren’t serving us, and more importantly – stopping ourselves in the process of scripting out narratives that create negative future outcomes. This is really about practicing non-reactivity and non-judgment in the face of thoughts or feelings. And to do that we have to recognize when it’s happening to us and rehearse a new process. We can retrain our brain and reset the grooves that have set in. A lot of the pain we experience in life is the pain we tell ourselves to feel - including when it comes to feeling bad about ourselves.

This was a request – I hope it helps and sending much love!

For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Let’s start this year by reminding ourselves that we can have so much joy and fun and vibrance. And let’s also take stock of the things we love, and also the things we want to work on with a bit of focused energy.

In Tibetan the word Karma translates to action – seed – results. With this idea of planting seeds that eventually bloom into results, I wanted to invite you to reflect on your year past and scan areas for possible growth. The goal of this episode is to journal and reflect so we can be more intentional, conscious and compassionate as we bring about the year to come.

What will you grow with your actions? I invite you to grow more inspiration, love, intimacy, and health and success in your life.

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com

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I would love to introduce "Sorta Awesome" a women's lifestyle podcast geared towards listeners who want to stay current on all things awesome, including culture, media and trending conversations! Each episode of Sorta Awesome begins with the Awesome of the Week. Meg and her co-host share a recent discovery that makes life easier, better or more sparkly. From there, the show delves into topics that are as varied as the team itself!

Sorta Awesome on Apple Podcasts- apple.co/sorta

Sorta Awesome on Spotify

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This is for anyone who obsesses about the thoughts and feelings of others, clinging, feeling anxious and being unable to be yourself. This is targeted at those who are in bad relationship loops but it will also help if this is something that comes up in familial relationships. I thought it was a good refresher for the holidays because a lot of stuff comes up this time of year.

This habit has a lot to do with codependency and relationship reliance because it’s a need to get validation from another person – to hear specific words from them that you are not hearing. It’s also something that comes about when we have a habit of controlling others, often due to fear and uncertainty during childhood. Regardless what we can do to help ourselves is recognize this is happening and come back into ourselves.

That is the key: working on us for us, holding our own hand as we move through the pain. So here are some tools to come back to yourself and ground so you can come back to reality.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

To get your StoryWorth subscription for your loved ones this year, head to Storyworth.com/helpmebeme

To get your Nutrafol head to Nutrafol.com and use promocode HELPMEBEME

Happy Holidays friends!

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Life is temporary – and that is kind of a beautiful thing. I recall as a child thinking that was so intensely and overwhelmingly sad. I almost couldn’t comprehend it. And now I can and I see it as a beautiful part of this experience.

I think a lot of people don’t think about that part of life because it’s too far off or too painful to think about, and because of that we don’t curate our experiences in the way we might if it was more top of mind. Meaning we spend a lot of time in the doing. The pursuing. The distractions. The stuff that doesn’t matter. Often it takes a loss to see how short and temporary life is and how quickly it goes by, to put things in perspective.

So as you move through this life experience, what can we do? We can first become aware. Make it a goal – an intention– to appreciate, value, slow down, be present. Enjoy. And we can be thoughtful in the experiences we curate and the time we invest.

The goal of this episode is to allow yourself the opportunity to take stock of your priorities and the relationships that have great meaning in your life. Maybe that means changing your relationship to a parent or elder for the better. Maybe it means investing your time differently. Or simply appreciating those in your life a bit more.

I’d like this to be a happy and positive episode. Not a downer. Hopefully this allows you to reflect and re-enter an old relationship, anew.

This has been a request quite a few times and it’s also something I have been thinking a lot about. Aging parents, losing loved ones recently. I hope you enjoy it and so so sorry for the background noise! I had to record outside because of sick kids at home.

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo

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Tools and insights for those who have dreams but are unable to take action toward them. This is about how to work with fear of success and fear in general. And most importantly looking at what is holding you back. Because when we don’t act the goal isn’t to force ourselves to act when we’re not ready. (Like, this is not about being pro-impulse. Because often there are real factors in our ambivalence.) The goal is to begin to understand why you are not acting so you can take the right steps.

This is for anyone who has an inkling that they’d like to do something and they cannot for the life of them get themselves to even try. It might be a job. It might be as simple as making a TikTok. (That’s my weird fear.) Or maybe you are absolutely SURE that something is meant for you, like you are mid-screenplay – but you watch yourself repeatedly be inactive on this front. Or you don’t even know where to start – and so you don’t.

Maybe it’s not even that explicit – maybe it’s just a general sense of procrastination. Or something weirder – like a general sense of resent or distaste for those who are successful at something in particular. That is because you are a magnet for this thing: you are reacting to it because it exists inside you! So use that feedback and take a listen.

This is life school, remember? We are here to grow. Let’s give this little seed some water. Small changes evoke massive, life-changing ones!

Here are the two links I mention:

Dr. Stutz’s website with more of his tools plus more about the Netflix doc “Stutz” that I mention:

https://www.thetoolsbook.com/

And the book, “The Artist’s Way” that I love:

https://amzn.to/3OvUrHr

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to https://www.YayWithMe.com and to check out my very first TikTok’s (gulp) you can find me at https://www.tiktok.com/@yaywithme

Xo!

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This is for anyone who has a relationship with someone or has to have interaction with someone who does not respect their right to basic human kindness, respect, personal space, or maintain healthy boundaries. This might show up as a person who insults you. Who picks at you, mocks you, targets you by belittling you. Maybe they make you are crazy for the way you do something. For the words you choose. For some habit you keep. For the way you exist or some random thing. Whatever it is, it’s confusing and hurtful. It also might make you start to question whether or not you are crazy. That my friends is the definition of gaslighting. And it may happen to you in a casual circumstance in your life. It can happen in any intimate relationship and it can happen in any environment, and don’t worry– you’re not crazy.

The other name for this is ‘The war on words’ – that’s my term for someone starting to spin you in a web of conflict. So as soon as you try and pin them down, they jump to the next topic or the next one. And you can’t seem to solve the conflict – it only seems to get bigger.

If this rings any bells, I want to acknowledge that confronting a person who is angry and violent can be extremely dangerous – so if that is true for you please speak with someone at this resource and form a plan:

https://www.thehotline.org/

For the rest of the links I mention in this episode, here’s the one about escaping a relationship with a narcissist:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship/id895918183?i=1000341326142

Here’s one link to Gabor Maté’s site about the connection between anger suppression and disease (he has a lot of great books, though a lot of them are downers haha):

https://drgabormate.com/healing-force-within/

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Let’s regenerate a bit of that energy and perspective when we are feeling optimal, excited and at the top of our game. This state is also when we are the wisest and most capable of seeing reality for what it is. The energy shift I’m talking about is the difference between clapping along with the camp counselors as they sing songs, and rolling your eyes at them. I think we all have both of those people inside us and we have to choose to lean toward that perspective of “yes-and” –this is how we create lives full of excitement, positivity, friendship and inspiration.

This is an episode aimed at curating an energy of optimism and shininess – because, truly we dictate our worth with how we present in the world. Meaning if we feel less optimal, more lazy, more down, more pessimistic, our energetic presence suffers. We make very different decisions, have very different conversations, and with that different opportunities arise. Our ability to command a room and bring a powerful, positive feeling to ourselves and others, also gets reduced.

So let’s shift our energy, together! Sending love and smiles. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo

DISCLAIMER! There’s like 200 different construction projects happening around me while I’m recording and it sucks. I am so sorry– hopefully it will end before my next record. 

And here’s the book I mentioned (The Four Agreements). It’s short and a good stocking-stuffer for anyone who hasn’t read it. (If that’s even possible.)

https://amzn.to/3svSaSo

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Hi friends! This is a preview of a podcast from our friends at TED Audio Collective: ReThinking with Adam Grant. In this episode, organizational psychologist Adam interviews Olympic medalist Allyson on finding motivation, bouncing back from failures, and learning to appreciate successes. If you’d like to hear more from leading thinkers and creators, follow ReThinking wherever you get your podcasts. Each week, Adam dives into the minds of interesting people to learn the unique ways they think and find practices we can all apply in our daily lives to live a little better. This season, the show features guests like bestselling author Celeste Ng, Oscar-winning actor Reese Witherspoon, and death-defying rock climber Alex Honnold. Enjoy!!

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This is an episode for anyone who is spending a whole lot of time and energy fixated on the habits, thoughts, or faults of a person they have a relationship with. Maybe that is a partner, parent, friend or a sibling. Regardless, this relationship is lopsided: you do all the things and they do not. Let’s say you are a caregiver type: you know how to make others function better than they know how to function, solo. But that also means you end up annoyed and exhausted.

This is an episode tailored around stepping back from the energy and habit of being controlling – because despite how it feels, we really do have a choice. It’s hard to see that if you are in a relationship with someone who is using, depressed, or needy. But truly – when you step back, new opportunities open up. We can let go of all the struggle that we create for ourselves – and get such relief, instantly.

What we often forget is that to be overly fixated on the thoughts, feelings, faults or ways of another person really robs us of our own enjoyment of life. It also robs the other person of the dignity of making their own mistakes.

Caveat: this is not for you to listen to if you are a caregiver to a dependent, like a child.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is my interview with the amazing author/speaker, Byron Katie. I wanted to do this interview because I feel that her process is powerful but simple and it very much enables individuals to practice disengaging from thoughts that are not helpful and/or cause a lot of pain and perpetuate dysfunctional behavior.

We discuss her process for breaking free of thoughts that keep us trapped in loops of reaction. We also discuss how these thoughts are self-inflicted and the idea that pain is something that is predominantly created by ourselves, in our minds.

TRIGGER WARNING: we discuss topics such as being the victim of a physical violation, so please avoid if this is a topic too sensitive for you.

Byron Katie is the creator of “The Work” and practices “The 4 Questions of Inquiry” as well as “The Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet” which is found at the link below.

To check out Byron Katie’s app plus download her free worksheets, head to:

https://thework.com/

For more of my work, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Shame is one of the most damaging feelings because of how it defines us to us. This is a request and it’s for anyone who has shameful memories that cause them pain, a person who has changed their life and made amends but cannot seem to let go of the shame. I can relate! Know that it takes time, education, support, context, and also the light that comes from processing something. I think when we can own something and talk about it, it stops owning us and therefore it no longer defines us.

What I express in this episode is my personal path to letting go of shame. A lot of it still lingers around the most upsetting memories. I literally can’t even say what I’ve done on this show because that is how potent it is – I have tried and edited it out because I cannot bear for that to be circulating in the world. So that tells you something. Shame is SUPER INTENSE! I think of myself as having done a lot of work. So take heart and move through it at your own pace, don't be angry with yourself if it takes a bit longer on some things.

Warning: this is not for you if you have self-harmed in the last 3 months, if you are suffering from psychosis, or you are suicidal or homicidal.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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For anyone who is dealing with a friend or family member (or anyone, really) who feels you are critical, rude, insensitive or always in the wrong. And when this happens, you are baffled...

Projection is powerful. What we see we believe but most of it is created by our inner world. The reason I’m doing this episode is because projection is also a major factor in how someone charts their course in life. So if that person is self-loathing, unhappy, insecure and angry – they will be making decisions based on this set of feelings – including as it relates to their relationship with others. That person may choose to cut off contact with you, feel offended by you, or think of you as insulting them in the most average of situations. In other worlds, all they can see is how they feel inside. Regardless of how irrational, they see their reasoning as valid, and this is like a welcome escape from their inner world. Because it’s out there! Not me. It’s them.

This episode has tools for setting boundaries with a person like this – and also tools for orienting yourself in the face of this.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com

The two articles I mention in this episode are here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection

https://www.britannica.com/science/projection-psychology

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This is for anyone who with a tendency toward a lack perspective – maybe you default to a survival mode of unconscious “doing” and because of that your life is somewhat based in “not enough” / a sense of being less-than. This is a recipe to help you transition out of that. The motivation for this episode is I have always had a fear/lack perspective and a desire for safety, which was underlying many of my decisions in adult life. I think this is also something interwoven into confidence/self-love issues. So take note if that seems true for you. It may show up as being risk-adverse. Or subtly resisting powerful roles in your life. Or perhaps in the way you date: choosing people who have serious issues.

This is all about getting into that state of inner “shine.” Feeling fully alive and present and living your life from this energy, as an intentional practice. Not just “checking the boxes, doing the things and keeping up” but shining from the inside out.

What does shine energy feel like? Bounty. Joy. Love and energy – like “I can run the whole way down the trail.” Like “I am a kid again and there is no such thing as gravity or fatigue.” But not just in a physical sense. In a view of the world, sense.

Here’s the book I am reading (and liking) that I mentioned called The Enlightenment Project:

https://amzn.to/3bsAP81

Here’s Martha Beck’s podcast “The Gathering Pod” that I mentioned:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gathering-pod/id1544173982

To make a donation or see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

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This is for anyone considering attending couples counseling and you are unsure of what to look for or perhaps you are hesitant about going because you don’t know if it will be effective.

This is also for if you are in fight loops and your conflicts are not being solved and things are being heightened. If you find that you are both throwing out intense ultimatums and yet both staying in the relationship, it’s definitely worth trying – and also shopping for the right person who brings out the deeper emotional truths in both of you. If you haven’t done it before – this is my opinion as a married person: Why you’re doing it as well as what happens while you’re there.

I also think a lot of people believe, “I’m doing everything right and my partner is doing everything wrong.” And they go to couples counseling not knowing what the goal is or expecting the counselor to tell their partner, “You are wrong and you should listen to everything your partner is saying.” And so I wanted to give you my two cents on how to approach couples counseling in the hopes that it will allow you to get something better out of it. So this may help you identify a goal for yourself in therapy – with your partner, so you can curate that result.

I think of a couples counselor as a translator in many ways. They are also containers for the deeper feelings to be revealed so that both can shift behavior toward love and or decisions that are loving. Take what helps and leave the rest! Sending love.

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is my (fan-girl) interview with Pam Grout – author, amazing human being & teacher of love and positivity. She has written 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind. One of the topics we discuss is disengaging from expectations! A lot of people struggle with unconsciousness. By that I mean getting lost in thoughts. In busyness. In mental commentating. In future expectations. We don’t realize how powerful expectations are as well as judgment of neutral facts–in creating our reality. When we can be open to seeing the alternate version of that same reality everything changes. Including the future we create for ourselves.

If you want to find Pam definitely read her blog and subscribe to get them via email: 

https://pamgrout.com/

Here's her new book - The Course in Miracles Experiment:

https://amzn.to/3RGGQyp

And if you want to make a donation to the 222 Foundation, you can head here:

https://www.dccfoundation.org/fund/Taz-Grouts-222-Fund

If you want to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB

Xo!

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A meditation on the feeling of non-stop seeking and grasping toward things that exist on the outside – versus asking from the inside, how can my life become more meaningful.

I think a lot of people look outward for a source of success and fulfillment: in what others say, in what we have, in all the proof points of “I am enough.” And that is reinforced by the systems in place: social media, devices, content, entertainment…

This is an episode that invites you to consider: Maybe there’s nothing to fix, but the problem lies in our grasping and avoiding of discomfort. This episode also invites you to scan back on your life and look at what truer values are for your happiness – the things you don’t necessarily see reflected back to you on a phone. What are the moments that only you appreciate and how can you bring out more of them in your life? It starts with becoming aware of this habit loop in the first place.

The book I mention in this episode is here:

https://amzn.to/3IluA22

For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo!

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For anyone who perhaps is negotiating standing up for yourself and also accommodating your relationship to make it peaceful and loving, and unsure of how to balance those two things. You might find that your fight loops are repeating and you are unhappy because of that. You both are likely seeking love and closeness but also wanting change. This is targeted at those in relationships that are well established. For example, when the novelty has worn off and any imbalances have had time to set in. You might be asking - do I want to be with this person or is this relationship hopeless? What do I want? What’s happening in my relationship? Is this at all fixable? We both used to be happy but now I am flipping between love and hate, pretty often. OR you might be asking– why can’t my partner see me? Why can’t they meet my needs when they are so small? What the hell happened… things were great and as soon as I brought up my needs, this turned into something so much worse. Am I crazy?

This is a topic that obviously has a lot of variables – but this will at least give you something to reflect on if this sounds like your situation. And every solution will be different and based on you and your partner – so don’t force anything that doesn’t feel right for you.

There are 3 parts to this episode– the what, why, and how–the tools, and we will hear from our sponsors right before the tools section. For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

The book on love languages is this one:

https://amzn.to/3bdC7mW

And here is a love language quiz to take:

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

If you don’t feel safe in your relationship, this is for you:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

https://www.thehotline.org/

800-799-7233

Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 

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What does it take to own yourself? To be fully confident in your voice and unapologetically yourself in all situations. I think it takes being deeply rooted in our skin. I feel like a lot of us are robbed of parts of ourselves throughout our life – whether that’s during adolescence when you’re trying to fit in, or as an adult in a relationship where you are not confident in your beliefs and the other person talks you out of your feelings. As we grow up and grow stronger – we may reclaim parts of ourselves. Our values shift, and we may gather the pieces of past broken selves and put them back together – as a true part of us. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this process. So this is an episode in service of that – being unapologetically yourself, fully embodied, and validated just by your own opinions.

As I mentioned if you are a person who is in a relationship where you don’t feel safe and you know you want to exit it, this is a resource to start with:

https://www.thehotline.org/

Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call the domestic violence hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

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This is an episode for anyone who is at the cusp of counseling or is negotiating a power struggle in their relationship. I think for a lot of people it can be hard to know if you are happy or if you want to stay, or if you are actually ready to leave a relationship. It’s one of those things that requires a lot of talk and reflection, and it gets even more complicated because of how interwoven it is with everything in your life as an individual.

Relationships are hard, and if you want them to work long-term they take a lot of maintenance, work and also introspection. A lot of the time keeping them healthy means voicing your issues and being strong enough to walk away if it requires that.

This is an episode that is mostly tools. I wrote it for anyone who is in a difficult relationship situation. Maybe you are thinking of getting counseling or you are currently in a power struggle. And it’s tailored to codependents and those of us who get stuck in the swallowing our needs, feeling if we just try hard enough EVENTUALLY we will get the love and respect we crave.

If you are in a dangerous relationship and need help to exit in a way that is safe for you head to this resource:

https://www.thehotline.org/

Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and to become a Patreon head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

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Dream work is much more personal and specific to you – it’s powerful and amazing. And once you unlock the meaning behind one dream, I think you will be hooked. Because it’s like a shortcut to the suppressed feelings that are too far away from your conscious mind to be readily accessed. You might find that you have different feelings on topics than you think you do. I have found new confidence and awakening through dreamwork. I have also found insights that make me appreciate myself more. I have also discovered what I really felt despite what was going on in my present consciousness. I invite you to work with some of the material in your dreams to see what it alights in you!

This episode will get weird. But I think there’s a lot of power in dream work. I do it often. You can of this as the laymen’s casual intro to dreamwork – if you are curious about it. This is based on my personal dream work – how I’ve learned to work with my own dreams. I used to think that dream work was total bullshit because if you google it and read most any casual postings on how to interpret your dreams, it does not translate. 

This is a totally experimental episode – and if you hate hearing about other people’s dreams, then not an episode for you! 

The big picture book on dream work that I spoke about is this:

https://amzn.to/38AT49m

The Jung books I recommended are here:

https://amzn.to/37StaxV

https://amzn.to/3EXguC4

https://amzn.to/3kqAVxX

https://amzn.to/3rY3FlY

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This is an episode aimed at helping you tune in to what you think and feel and becoming aware of the external pressures that may be hindering your creativity. There are a lot of journal prompts for reflecting on what it is you want – truly, and also ways to resist the performative masks you might be wearing in your life. This is also a selfish episode aimed at making all of you out there a bit more silly, fun and in your skin. Because I think we need it. I think we need less looking perfect, less oversimplification, less judgement. More complexity, weirdness and openness. A lot of people in the world are lonely and feel isolated. I think that a lot of this comes from a feeling of being dehumanized by professional spheres, working remotely as well as living and communicating on the internet. I send you my love and if you want to check out more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Fear is a state of mind. This is for you if you are currently doing any self-work and trying to grow your confidence especially when it comes to overthinking your decisions. It's something to practice if you’re in a fear-state or overly identified with your thoughts. It's for when you have pain around life being what it is, in the form of regret. There are tools for self-forgiveness via acceptance of what is and what was. Or gentle practices around forgiveness especially in the moments of self-doubt when you cringe at something you’ve done or said. So this is really cringing of all kinds! Past and recent – the goal here: know thyself.

This is for moving into a state of relief and safety. I intend it for you to use when it relates to yourself – feelings of self-doubt you may have when you don't trust yourself or overthink everything you do.

For more of my work head to Yaywithme.com xo!

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This is an episode for emotional pain related to leaving a relationship that is not working. This is really a follow up to the “bad relationship” episode. I have gotten several requests in this area so I’m going to try and give you some tools to really process what you want, why that is valid, and relieve some of the negative thoughts that may come about when you try and leave a bad relationship. This is for re-centering yourself and finding a bit of peace in the face of your own decision making. A lot of us struggle with guilt and second-guessing ourselves when so much is at stake. It’s incredibly painful and challenging to move through a loss voluntarily – so if you are contemplating leaving – and it’s been a long time, then I would guess it’s that bad. It’s not easy to do. Don’t take it lightly. I wanted to give you a heads up – this episode has a lot of tools because it’s really geared toward help and mental processing.

For anyone who is in a relationship that poses danger to your physical safety, and in need of support to exit/escape that relationship here is a great resource:

National Domestic Violence Hotline. 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 800-799-7233. Text "start" to 88788, or chat live at thehotline.org.

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This is an episode all about how to move out of a state of comparison – one that prevents us from being a creative, embodied self. I would also say this is an episode for anyone out there who is painfully sensitive – like myself. It can be almost scary to put your heart on the line and invest in an act of self-expression. Your own mind can be the most stunting voice blocking you from being in a flow-state. The tools in this episode has a little of everything – all aimed at moving out of negative energy that is critical and into that more open, expansive, positive energy of creation.

For more of my work you can head to Yaywithme.com and to become a sponsor you can also visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB

Xo!

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Hi friends, this is my interview with Becca Piastrelli, author of a new book entitled, “Root and Ritual - Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self.” One important thread in this episode is unhooking from the systems of urgency, productivity, and denial of your body’s inner clock that happens due to the speed of technology. We also discuss the importance and power of ritual and how you can grow that in your life – something that is especially valuable if you have no current source of belief or spirituality in your life.

I had to “regrow” my sense of spirit in my adult life and in doing so I have found so much relief and grounding. I would recommend this episode for anyone who craves something deeper in life or perhaps you feel lonely, depressed, isolated and a lack of meaning in life, currently. For more of my work and to give feedback, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo

Here’s a link to Becca’s book:

https://amzn.to/3tdUoWI

And here’s a link to one of our sponsors this week – Circles!

If you struggle emotionally, you don't have to go through it alone. Be it grief over the loss of a special someone, the pain of divorce or separation, complex relationships or other challenges - Circles offers theme-based online support circles facilitated by professionals. Circles meet weekly in group video meetings and are also available for mutual support in a 24/7 group chat. You can try it out for free for 30 days and Help Be Be Me listeners get an additional 50% off on your second month! Sign up here https://bit.ly/3IIPUhm

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We choose our life with our energy. What are you choosing with your energy, currently?

In this episode I am going to invite you to become conscious in the sense that I will invite you to disengage from your thought patterns. To make room for newness and stay in a state of flow and at the very least– non-attachment, throughout your day. When we practice this deliberately, we can navigate life more freely and reinvent ourselves time and time again. We just have to step back from whatever we are doing and become aware of what we are practicing.

When you can curate a sense of openness and freedom, amazing things happen! The day actually gets longer! And there’s more air, more color, more beauty. So choose the right thoughts and tune that energy. Xo

For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com

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This is for anyone who is in a bad relationship and they suspect the other person is cheating or lying and you don’t know what to do about it. Maybe you are still chasing that high from when you first met them or you’re holding out for the brief moments of time when you guys connect and you feel totally intoxicated by love.

We often ignore red flags and bad behavior because we see the potential in someone and we think we can love them enough, support them enough and that person can come through. But at the end of the day what matters most is who this person is capable of being. Not who they could be in your eyes.

If you're taking a lot of bad behavior, I would guess that this relationship makes you feel more bad than good and if you could snap your fingers and make it disappear, you’d choose to get out of it.

If any of this sounds familiar, I can relate. I have walked in your shoes. I send you my love and I hope this helps! Xo Sarah May B.

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How to deal with parents who are emotionally unsupportive, unloving, say mean things, are manipulative or compare you to others. The goal of this episode is to move on and heal so that you can be happier and more loving to others. It’s a starting point for putting down the wounds and not living through that place of need, so much. I do think this is an issue best tackled with a therapist because you have do a lot of processing and get perspective. I am a huge fan of therapy and I can’t recommend it enough! You can change everything in your life – including how you relate to others in your family – just by changing yourself. So if you want a healthier relationship with your family, I would start there.

I know this is a tough and painful wound. It doesn’t have to define you forever. Start with a goal and everything else will organically unfold. Sending much love… xo.

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This is an episode for anyone who feels like they are obsessed with being prettier, younger, something-er, in some external way, and you feel that it is reducing your wellbeing in life. This came up when I was interviewed by Melissa Rivers. She asked something like, “What if you’re never happy with the way you look? How do you stop feeling that way?” What she was struggling with was the emptiness and that feeling of never enough that comes with a constant pursuit of beauty. The products, the treatments, the correcting of some flaw we see in our physical selves. What happens if you are an image-focused person, or you happen to live in a society that is super image-focused, is you get warped. You stop being able to see yourself and instead you only see what is wrong with yourself. So if you could use a new lens, this is an episode for you! And heads up – it’s a messy episode! Sorry hahaha. My whole family has COVID right now.

Happy new year lovely friends… xo Sarah May B.

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This episode is targeted at you having a vision of a future life that is beautiful and rewarding. Seeing it clearly. And not being embarrassed about going through that process. If you – like me, are often too embarrassed to take on practices like this, then I want to call that out. How silly is that, right? If that’s one thing that we can all put down at the end of this year – for good. Never be too embarrassed to try something out. To invest in it. To mean it. It’s wasted energy. Feeling silly held me back from so much. But no longer! I think allowing your mind to wander and paint pretty pictures of different futures is so instrumental in seeing the ratio you want to create in your current schedule.

In order to see a life that will make us happier, we have to be able to think outside our sphere, and our routine. Which can be challenging! As we head into the end of the year and toward the new year, I think one really important step is getting clear about what you want. I don’t mean making a vision board – unless that is something you enjoy doing that you find resonates with you – then by all means go for it!

I have a vision of being in the UK for a month, and the way my routine dictates my life, that will not come about unless I really get into the reflection and action stage of that dream.

The reason for this is I remember early on in my self-help beginnings I was kind of tentative about investing in the guidance given, specifically when it required I dream big. Like I was still “on the outside” of the genre and poking fun at it, deciding how much of it I believed and how much I thought was cliché horse doodoo. And now what I would consider well along the path of my self-help dive, I think one thing that is very important if you are growing and building toward something –is being able to see a life you want. I think that can be difficult especially when you are limited by a routine or feeling stuck.

It's also something that feels a little “fluffy” like it’s a waste of time. So this is an episode that makes a case for why this is important and also very powerful. And at the end we are going to go through some actual exercises to start to ideate around the life you want.

Sending you so much love and if you are in search of additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

To make a donation and to see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com

Xo!

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This is for anyone who needs some help to navigate difficult feelings and situations that come up around the holidays – whether that be dealing with family drama, overwhelm, or loneliness.

If a lot of “stuff” is coming up for you right now, know that you are not alone. A lot of feels come up during the end of the year: it’s heightened. There are a lot of expectations – ours and those of loved ones. We tend to feel like we need to be somewhere in our life, be with someone, have certain things, or be a certain way – especially when it comes to putting on a certain face around family. And if you are working on yourself, it can be just enough to push you over the edge of “okay” toward “freaking out” or “overwhelmed.”

So the shorthand of this episode is – do what you need to do to take care of yourself and honor yourself! That and be very aware of your thoughts: don’t let them take over your experience of this time. You get to choose the thoughts you want to follow, and the ones that are not helpful.

Sending much love – and if you want to check out additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com/Donate

To support our sponsors this week:

Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/HELPMEBEME and turn healthy habits into a Ritual.

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This is a super short episode because it’s aimed at a very specific reflection exercise. It came about because one thing that I have noticed in my One-One-one sessions, is that people repeatedly say the change they want, very clearly, though they often don't hear themselves saying it. The change you want and need to make – in order to be happier– is simple and finite, if we can just hear ourselves. However, often we don’t because we are saying it unconsciously. So this is an episode all about how to make that thing conscious. It's all about discovering what you are yearning for, what you want to change, what condition is making you unhappy, and how to alter that simply. It’s a shorter episode because it’s really simple as an idea – and it really revolves around some specific journal prompts.

For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo

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This is a reflection episode all about how to foster originality and grow your sense of selfhood (and self-love). There’s something that happens when people become a mass – there’s a leaning toward sameness. This is a recording in service of inviting you all to lean into the things you think, feel and do, that no one else does. How to stand by yourself. And with that, I believe you will grow a loving friendship with yourself.

For more of my work check out YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is a sensory kind of reflection on feeling more tied to your sense of wonder and aliveness. An invitation to anyone who gets into a default of doing and checking off boxes, versus feeling a sense of awe and rest.  

This is a spur of the moment record done post-rain, an offering I wanted to throw out there for anyone who is looking to bring more play into their lives. It’s my current “frame” by which I am reexamining the habits I have in my life.

I hope you enjoy! Xox

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This is an interview I do with longtime friend Lauri Burns, founder of The Teen Project. It’s all about that little voice that guides us from within and how we can strengthen our awareness of it so we can be guided when we need it the most. Warning: this episode has some sad topics in it, including abuse of children. If you need to skip that part you can stop listening right when I ask Lauri to tell a story from her new book.

For anyone who wants to donate to The Teen Project:

Visit TheTeenProject.com

For the book about Lauri’s life story (cover featuring yours truly) check out: https://amzn.to/3mchiv4

For the book from the girls of Vera’s Sanctuary:

https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/sanctuary-of-the-heart

For her new book check The Teen Project website in December!

What is that little voice that nudges me at the most random times? How does it sound? How can I tap into it more and allow it to guide me? This is for anyone who wants to grow their sense of spirituality, or even just understand that little voice that I am calling “intuition” a bit more. It’s that weird little voice that nudges you to go back and investigate something random and then you find your long lost wedding ring. Or that thought you get of someone you love who is deceased, but then you find an oddly perfect letter from them – that pertains to this moment.

To be clear - I am not preaching any God in this episode, I am describing something that could be totally scientifically explained. It’s really about opening up to recognizing that we have these other senses that are very attuned to things that our mind cannot understand. 

I personally grew up with a bad experience of religion – and nowadays religion is less popular than ever, despite this, I think we life suffers without an awareness of this “muscle” – this sense, in ourselves. And when we get triggered or creeped out by spirituality or the non-explainable, we are deliberately shutting off a part of ourselves that can sense into much “greater” than the known/explained universe. Those nudges of intuition are subtle and often bizarre. The voice cannot be rationalized or explained because it’s smarter than our brain – so that’s where I want to start: don’t try and rationalize your way through this episode. If you trust me at all, be open to entertaining the topics discussed.

Also for anyone I trigger with this episode. That is totally fine and I get it. Put this on a shelf and listen to it on a day you feel more playful and curious. Personally, when I was in the thick of my pain and recovery of various types – I wasn’t able to believe in anything lofty. I was screening out anyone who might think anything too lofty. So I relate to you. I will say a lot of that comes from just being in a place where you are struggling to get grounded and even know how you feel – in your body. So that is where your priorities should lie. Sending love your way.

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This is really about when we start to enact the emotions, fears, losses, and wounds of someone in a previous generation – be that a parent, a parent's parents, or maybe a combination of these plus a self from many years ago who went through something really painful and damaging. Regardless, it can make you act out some pretty big feelings that are not truly aligned with the way you live your life in the present. This is how the course of our relationships can be changed for the worse - unless we become aware of these unconscious scripts.

SO MUCH of what we feel and enact is not ours. And it can wreak havoc on your closest adult relationships. So if something emotional is coming up for you that feels heightened or it happens to be looping, this may be an episode for you!

The book I mention in this episode is here:

https://amzn.to/3lyYCVZ

To support our sponsors this week, check out Charlotte’s Web CBD and use promo code HELPMEBEME at check out to save 50% on your order (except bulk bundles)!

If you want ground beef for the life of your membership, head to ButcherBox.com/HelpMeBeMe and use promo code HELPMEBEME at checkout

And if you want some delicious yummy cereal that is actually good for you, check out MagicSpoon.com/HelpMeBeMee and use promo code HELPMEBEME

Xox

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For those in the throes of an obsession with an addict or high on your codependency – maybe you’re in love with someone and they start using or you discover they have an addiction, be that drugs, sex, alcohol. And they have continued to use despite you telling them you need them to stop.

If you are in the midst of a relationship that suddenly turned crazy due to one partner resuming an addiction, this can lead to you feeling crazy, yourself. This is to listen to in the moment this occurs – especially if you feel like you are losing yourself and your sanity.

Major caveat: This is for if you have an adult in your life who is using – not if you are a parent with a child who is using. Things are complicated when you have a child because you are responsible for caring for them and they are not adults yet capable of caring for themselves. I would not give you the same advice.

I know it’s tough when you are in an area where there is no access to good 12-step meetings – so if you don’t have any friends, family, or concrete resources like a good therapist with experience in addiction or a good meeting like COSA, Alanon or SLA, then this is for you. Because I listed this in the episode and they are one of my sponsors – please check out: BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for online access to therapists!

To support our sponsors this week check out:

Want to grow your skills as a designer and maker? Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping with code HELPMEBEME at KiwiCo.com

FlexFits.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off Flex DiscStarter Kits—or 10% off your first Flex Cup—PLUS free U.S. shipping!

HelloFresh.com/HelpMeBeMe and use code helpmebeme14 for up to 14 free meals, including free shipping!

SarahFlint.com/HelpMeBeMe for $50 off a gorgeous Italian-made pair of shoes.

The two books I mention in this episode are here for the daily reflection book:

https://amzn.to/3CWwke8

And here for the audiobook:

https://amzn.to/2Y2uklu

And hang in there. I know this part is really not fun. Xoxo.

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This is a follow-up episode to the previous boundaries episode a few weeks ago. It’s to listen to when you are in need of help in setting boundaries with a loved one, if you need some more tactical advice. I cover things to say to that person as well as ways to ground if you are feeling confused and lost in their arguments. It’s also mainly to remind you that boundaries are positive and loving for all people – you and the people in your life you are setting them with. Sending much love and know that it gets easier and more logical as you practice this! Xox!

To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB

To support our sponsors this week – and this show check out:

ButcherBox! ButcherBox is offering our listeners Ground Beef For Life! For a limited time, ButcherBox™ is giving new members 2 pounds of free ground beef in every order for the life of your membership. Sign up at ButcherBox.com/HELPMEBEME and get 2 pounds of ground beef free in every order for the life of your membership. Log on to ButcherBox.com/HELPMEBEME to claim this deal!

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This is for anyone who wants to quit something but is terrified of trying again – or feels hopeless about it. Or overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve already proven to yourself that you don’t like life without this thing enough to stay off of it. Or you are too disheartened to try again.

I would bet that although you still do it, you hate this thing so much. You hate that it causes you so much sadness and lost time. And lost self-esteem. And you wish more than anything that you could just press a button and this thing would be gone from your life. That you didn’t have to struggle with this problem. A problem that stays between you and others. That keeps you from love or health or confidence. Of really feeling you can invest in your life being long and happy.

I know that feeling well. It’s like living as a dead person – you are always aware of this dark shadow that is – that thing. The deadly addiction. And you want to turn off your ears and mind to it because it really feels like “I have no other option – so why would I listen?”

But what you can’t see from here is that change is possible when you have the right logic. Change is totally possible when you have the understanding that allows you to truly let go of this problem. I’ll talk a lot about my particular addictions in this episode. And here are the books that I mention – PLEASE READ ONE!!!

For smokers:

https://amzn.to/3mVEM8N

For vapers:

https://amzn.to/3kEK5q9

For over-drinkers (but I think it will apply to drugs, too):

https://amzn.to/3mP65RX

Another for more severe drinkers:

https://amzn.to/3kKvLMQ

Haven’t read this but it’s using his principles, about emotional eating:

https://amzn.to/3BoYehY

This episode is dedicated to my aunt Margaret. I love you. And I will miss you forever.

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This is an episode about good boundaries: how to set them as well as WHY to set them. You can think about having one loose boundary as having a leak in a boat: if there’s one hole (aka I have a bad boundary when it comes to dating – I can’t walk away when they don’t follow through) this means your whole sense of self is perpetually sinking. It resets the baseline for your entire life. You will be compromised in your self-respect, your worth, your self-love. It affects everything about your life. I created this episode because a lot of us don’t know what the hell a boundary is – and also why they directly translate into whether or not you like yourself and love yourself. This is a HUGE CORNERSTONE piece of confidence, happiness, lack of fear, lack of jealousy and the ability to actualize personal growth. If you change this ONE HABIT and begin to set firm boundaries, I kid you not it will change everything about your life for the better. It’s AMAZING in what it affects. IMO, it’s the most freeing and powerful thing you can do. So with that – here is the show! 3 parts – what why and how the tools. 

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We have experiences that imprint the physical responses we have to stressors in our life – big or small. So if you are feeling a sense of inner chaos and overwhelm, or you are feeling like you cannot handle all that is happening in your life, this is likely at least in part related to your physiological wiring. Meaning the experiences that impacted you the most from your upbringing. Maybe you get that feeling of panic or you have been feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that causes you to procrastinate. Yes, stress has a lot to do with our literal life circumstances, but what we bring to those circumstances is also a huge piece of the puzzle.

So if you are feeling a sense of “I can’t handle it” – or you have been snapping a lot lately, or you’ve been feeling numb – or very irritable, or perhaps very controlling and like a motor that is slowly running into the ground– this is an episode for you. I cover a lot of ways to lighten your load and come back to a place of resource. There are three parts to this episode – the what why and how the tools.

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This is for anyone who is fixating on what is better about someone else and devaluing yourself. The flux that is your own perceived value. It can become an obsession – something that doesn’t let go of your brain – and haunts you almost like a worry you cannot put to rest. I am in particular focusing on the measurement that may be done while online, maybe that’s with social media like Instagram, or with photos – some kind of evidence that you get obsessed with and cannot seem to stop weighing and quantifying. “If this thing I perfect, where do I fall compared to this thing?” Because just like anything, this is a perspective that – with deliberate effort and focus, can be shifted. 

For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com 

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Or you can check out the podcast Chatting with Candace on Apple Podcasts!

Xo!

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How to move on if you didn’t get any explanation as to why someone is ending a relationship. Maybe that’s a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s a work relationship. Or maybe that’s a friendship. Because in that situation you might be searching for grounding that never comes. And this can be one of the hardest ways to end something – because it’s in itself a trauma.

If you are in need of more information on this subject, you can check out The Break-Up Album on YayWithMe.com/shop/the-break-up-album

That is my “break-up coach in a podcast album” that deals with how to move through a break-up in the most empowering, self-loving way possible. This is really like a truncated version of a chapter in the podcast album. And if you are really struggling, I highly recommend checking out BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe and chatting with a therapist. This can bring up a lot of old trauma around loss. Regardless - I send you my love and positive vibes of healing and self-discovery! xox

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This is an episode for starting to work your way out of a codependent relationship.

When you’re in a relationship that really doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe it feels really unhealthy, or you know you’re not rewarded or happy. But you can’t leave – and you find yourself getting pulled back in again and again. This is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a person who they don’t trust. Maybe you have had issues with them in the past – they blame you for the issues in the relationship, they make you feel insecure and that you’re the crazy one. Maybe they have had a negative effect on your life – you’ve distanced from your friends, you have little positive input in your life outside of the time you spend together – and despite knowing that, you can’t seem to do anything about it. Heads up - as with all of my episodes, this is based on my personal experience and not a professional diagnosis. I strongly recommend therapy for this issue in particular. It worked great for me! There are 3 parts to this episode – the what, why and how – the tools!

And if you are interested in checking out our sponsor for this episode and getting $200 off all mattresses plus 2 eco-rest pillows, head to BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is focused on becoming more aware and also deliberate in your words – curating a more positive and empowering story for yourself and for those you love and enjoy, in life. This episode is also targeted at helping you to recognize your words: making them conscious and guided – because they very much narrate the future of your life. The ones you use inside and importantly outside, really do tell You and others– how things will go. Also, the stories we tell ourselves are often not even our own. We inherit them from parents or others who have modeled a situation for us in formative years: you might find yourself repeating things and really feeling them – even though they’re not true to your life situation.

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Or, "It's not about you." There are all sorts of unconscious processes that occur in individuals and they show up in our relationships. Usually, if we are getting into that loop of reactivity, it’s not about what it’s about. Rather, it’s a chain reaction of misunderstandings. Or it can often be due to both people feeling tapped and therefore yanking at the other person to please see them and give them attention. The best way to navigate out of a situation like this is to change that habit and bring in the feeling of bounty and openness. Easier said than done, but this is an episode aimed and getting you to that state. And also reminding yourself, if your partner is venting onto you– it’s not about me!

To go more in-depth on this type of information you can check out Gottman here:

https://amzn.to/2St6rAs

For more of my work you can check out YayWithMe.com!

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Tools for regaining a sense of autonomy and self-confidence if you find that you are clinging and overly sensitive to the opinions of others. So if you are in a codependent relationship or you feel trapped in that fear-based loop that can happen when you are too consumed by a relationship, and you feel small and powerless, this is an episode for you. These are exercises – both physical and written- to do in order to condition your mind and body to resume a more empowered headspace. Strong. Self-assured. If you are feeling reliant on someone else or something else – like your value is somehow dictated by that thing, try starting here. I did these steps myself recently and found them to be re-centering and enlightening.

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Burnout shows up as a loss of meaning – it might feel like everything is hard, or pointless, or not worth doing. So if you are experiencing something like that, you might be in that stage of “winter” – when we must go on an inner journey. One that brings forth new play and inspiration and growth. Creativity is an energy. A fountain of love and passion and drive and fun. We all must foster it! It brings us life and it brings the truest value we have, into the world. I am posting this for anyone who is experiencing burnout and in search of their origin: their innate sense of creativity. Because creativity is also play. It does not need to be useful – nor should it be. It does not need to be popular or understood. The soul yearns for an expression that is deeply rewarding, brings joy. I want to bring you all some magic and fire this week in the form of this powerup episode. It has a bunch of tools and exercises to invite forth your creative instincts if you are in the stage of burnout. The books/thinkers I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3aIeuzC and here for Parker J Palmer: https://amzn.to/3vgPSWK To help out this show, check out our sponsor: Better Help. Better Help is online access to therapists, around the globe. So if you are depressed or anxious or feeling stuck, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Feeling we are good enough and that our lives and decisions are valid and make sense – so that we can move into an active and inspired state. This is for anyone who is looking at others and feeling like they are falling short – like they should have what they have. Or maybe you’re focusing on their life their stuff their experiences and feeling resentful and desiring to have that stuff. It’s a painful feeling – often one we don’t want to have. So if that sounds like you, this is an episode for you. Three parts – what why and how! Here's my fave dream book: https://amzn.to/3e9xIPU Here's the book that I mentioned in the tools section: https://amzn.to/3akw90l If you'd like to check out some of my research here's one book with some interesting theories: https://amzn.to/3diN0SS This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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You can do a lot of great work on yourself with a journal. If you want to try and work through a problem, or you want to start a journal but don’t know what to write about, this is an episode for you. It can also be really confusing as to what to talk about. Especially if nothing flows. The journal I use is this one: https://amzn.to/3tV5Vc5 And to apply for the free chat session you can head here: https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/apply-for-a-free-recorded-chat-session This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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When You Can’t Own Your Successes. This is an episode about Imposter Phenomenon and what to do if you cannot own the successes you have in your life. If you’re not sure if you have this, I will ask you – is there an eternal disconnect between what others see in you and what you see in yourself? There are two very common underlying traits to Imposter Phenomenon- perfectionism and neuroticism. Which means you are overly perfectionistic and also overthink and put immense pressure on yourself, and set unreasonably high setpoints for yourself. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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What to do if you’re feeling lonely right now, mid-pandemic. This is for anyone who is suffering because of social isolation. Maybe you are single and none of your friends are single. Maybe you are normally able to visit others, or they normally visit you, but COVID stopped most of that. Maybe you had lots of casual friends but now they have dropped off the map. Maybe you used to socialize in bars or at the gym or at work. Regardless you feel like you have no one. And that is terrifying in how distant it feels. Like you’re on an iceberg floating far away from the mainland. So here are some tools to deal if that sounds like you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts: the what why and how. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is for anyone who has to self-motivate - maybe you're in the in-between times of employment or you’re trying to get something off the ground that you have made yourself, from scratch. When we only have ourselves to be accountable to. It’s easy to feel like nothing you do matters. When in reality, it does. So if this sounds like you right now – these are some words I wanted to pass along. Having been in those places many a time – what I can see, now in retrospect. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is my interview with author and stand-up comic, Sam Tallent. His new book– Running the Light, is fiction– it’s fantastic and it’s available at SamTallent.com A burst of inspiration for anyone worried about whether or not what they want to make– is worth it. This is an episode (inspired by my husband, Adam) all about creativity, going for it and not letting external systems decide your creative output in this life. I found this conversation very energizing and inspiring – I hope you do as well! The book I referenced in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/38xDwkE Some of the books Sam referenced are here: https://amzn.to/38upu35 https://amzn.to/3oA5gub https://amzn.to/2XvyWwE This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Finding comfort in the face of a year lost and ways to alter your expectations moving forward. Heads up – this is a reshare of a previously recorded episode called ‘The Extra-Strength Lightning Bolt’ but with a new introduction. This is for those of you who can’t get the things you wanted this year. I send you my love and well wishes – and never forget to have hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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Hi friends! This is a short episode all about what the theme of this show means to me. So if you're struggling and you don't know why you keep blowing up your life, this is a little bit of inspiration for you. If you don't like therapy or you don't think there's help out there for you, think again and take a listen. And if you've been through trauma at some point in your life - definitely read this book: https://amzn.to/2Wm5KaN ...and don't lose hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is a little inspirational power-up episode for anyone who is feeling stuck and uninspired. This was something I wrote 5 years ago but I felt like it could help people today, right now. So if you're feeling uninspired or stuck, this one's for you! The two people I mention in the episode are here: https://thekickasslife.com/ https://amzn.to/3ngWbGl

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It can painful and confusing to deal with all the feels that come up around family, especially when certain members of your family don’t get along. So if you’re having some shit come up – including a lot of hurt around negotiating the way you relate to other family members, then this is an episode for you! This episode is aimed at organizing your feelings so you can remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. The most important priority is to come from love. Why? Because when you do that you are right with yourself. And happy holidays my lovely friends! xoxo The book I reference in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3m8oG8u This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is a power-up episode for anyone who feels exhausted and burned out by their week. Maybe you are multitasking a lot and feeling super overwhelmed by the days and weeks to come. That could be due to COVID, job, lack of job, stress, kids, dating, lack of dating, fear, anxiety, or life crap in general! Heads up this is best done when you can close your eyes – but that’s not a mandate. (BTW, this was recorded last week before the US presidential election – just in case you were wondering..) This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is for anyone who is finding themselves in predictable fight loops with their partner or any other close relationship. Maybe you are frustrated they are not doing what you think they should be doing or you find yourself exploding at them then feeling weak and shitty about yourself. It’s about how to find empowerment and align your actions behind what it is you truly want. I’d say it’s the start of the path toward making a change that needs to take place. The two books and the article I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/31uf13I https://amzn.to/37vlU8z tantrums-advice.html">https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/15/parenting/kids-tantrums-advice.html This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is a power-up (shorter) episode for anyone who has been living in a purely reactive state where they are going through the motions/dealing with thousands of to-do’s. It’s really easy to forget what is good and fun in your life and with that, we start expecting/seeing only the serious and dire around us. It’s also easy to forget what makes you You, and what makes that self-awesome. This is a little energy-setting reminder. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is for anyone who wakes up and feels like a different person. One who they really don’t like. And you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you did something really terrible and you thought you knew yourself, but you now realize you didn’t know yourself. It could be a shameful action or a revelation about yourself. It’s paralyzing and ugly and crippling in how it makes you feel. This is rock bottom. The fucking worst of days. Where do you go from here? That’s what this episode is about. Because the hardest most impossible changes we make in life – are a choice. This is a shorter episode because it’s a simple message. The goal of this episode is to help you turn around. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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How being overly identified with what others think is tied to a lack of self-love. This is for anyone who doesn’t trust themselves and generally doesn’t feel they’re a quality person. If you act in really selfish and self-destructive ways – maybe you betray others and lie or cheat. Or you feel really heavily identified with your body or your appearance, or the attention of others – but you don’t feel there’s much more that’s good about you and who you are, then this is for you. This is about beginning the process of understanding why this is happening and also starting to build up faith that you are a good person. The mindfulness books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3izGVla https://amzn.to/32jI371 https://amzn.to/2RkNBHY This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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If you have insecurities that come up and cause you to push your partner away or cling too closely, this is for you. Maybe you find that you are acting out in petty ways – like, starting fights. Or maybe it comes out in jealousy. When you get insecure, you are taken out of the present joy of a relationship, something that can make you feel haunted or like you are going crazy. The worst part of insecurities is you unfriend yourself in the process. You don’t feel you SHOULD feel the way you do, so it makes you feel shitty about yourself FOR feeling shitty about yourself. Often what we do in these situations is pretend it isn’t happening. So if this sounds true for you – this is an episode for you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts – the what, why, and how the tools. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 48 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is for anyone who has escaped a relationship with a narcissist and they reach out to you, out of the blue – and how to navigate that situation. So if you were manipulated, taken advantage of, and could not find your way out of a relationship that left you feeling like the shell of a human – you were likely with a narcissist. Getting out of this kind of relationship is extremely difficult – so the eventual reach-out from this person might leave you feeling sick to your stomach. I send you my love and please stay strong! The two previous episodes I have done on this topic are here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/ep-111-how-to-tell-if-youre-dating-a-narcissist The book I mentioned that I like on this topic is here: https://amzn.to/3iFhYEC This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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One of the hardest things to do is give up or accept a loss, even if we are unhappy and have been for a really long time. This is for anyone stuck in ambivalence over a decision to create a change in their life. Sometimes this happens when you are in a long relationship and you feel you can’t leave it – even though you are not happy and you don’t feel in love. Another common scenario is when you are in a field you don’t love but you have been to school for x number of years so you feel like you can’t leave now. It’s so scary to trust the feelings you have when you know they can sometimes change – especially when weighing this against something that is valuable in the eyes of the world. The book I referenced by Dan Ariely is here: https://amzn.to/2DwW9bl This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is an episode about feeling “not enough” and constantly fixating on an identity that is lower, less-than, lazy, fill-in-the-blank negative adjective. What I am describing is something in part caused by our negativity-bias – that part of our brain that scans for threat and fixates. It’s also an identity: a secret truth – one that you subconsciously adhere to. The explanation for all things in your life, that gets repeated to you in your head whenever you are rejected, or complimented for that matter. It’s a story that restates what you lack and interprets the subtext of every situation. It’s pretty much like building a small fence around your life because it dictates how far you’re willing to strive, how much money you think you deserve, how bold you act at work, and what possibilities you even see as open to you as an individual. Which sucks! Because it’s a story ultimately created by you. It can be reinforced by the outside world but you have the ultimate authorship power to affirm or reject that story. So if you are telling yourself the wrong one, or you want to tune up the habits you have around negative narratives about yourself, this is an episode for you. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, why and how the tools. This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 24 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is an episode about whether to make your creative passion into your job and how to create for public consumption, especially if you are a sensitive person. I have had several people ask me about podcasting and how to get started in it. I have also mentored several people in creative fields – so this is a blend of what I have shared with those people. In sum this is for anyone making the decision to do creative work and how it should come about in your life so you can thrive. - - - - If you are currently struggling with your mental health and are interested in trying therapy, you can be paired with a therapist within 24 hours via your phone or computer. To get started, simply fill out a brief survey and you will be paired with a licensed counselor – and it’s free to switch if you don’t like the first one you get. For 10% off your first month of therapy and to support this show head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

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This is an episode for those dealing with a fragile emotional state and they don’t know what to do with themselves. Who I am speaking to here are those who are overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn. The letters I am getting are not all related to one source of upheaval: Some of you are struggling to process anger and feelings of powerlessness over injustice. Some of you are struggling to deal with anxiety and sadness on top of anger and powerlessness. Some of you are feeling so many things that you feel as if you are going to break into a million pieces. Some of you feel useless and like nothing you do matters. Some of you are feeling lonely and overwhelmed by COVID and worried about the uncertainty of the future. And there is so much happening right now – so much emotional upheaval, on top of the isolation we are already suffering due to COVID, and the uncertainty of the future, there are the high levels of joblessness. There’s a lot of toxicity in the news and especially in social media right now. In short - there’s a lot to manage, understand and process - especially if you are already someone who suffers from anxiety or depression. And especially if you are someone who really cares about doing the right thing – and you feel unable to be active in that right now. A lot of you who have never experienced trauma or have never been pushed to your threshold as far as dealing with overwhelm and anxiety – now’s a difficult time to be going through that. Why? Because resources for self-soothing and grounding are limited due to COVID. So this episode is slightly different – first I will address those in an immediate state of “I feel like I’m going to explode or jump out a window!” Then I have some tools for the coming weeks for day to day negative thinking and anxiety. - - - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Better Help – remote therapy with licensed counselors, which is a great option if you are emotionally overwhelmed right now. If you want to support this show and get 10% off your first month of therapy, head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe xo

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This is an episode that answers questions from the audience about fears around having kids, and since I am about to give birth to my second child, I thought it timely! It's a followup to an episode I did a few years back on the same topic. The questions I answer are as follows: 1. I love my life now, I’m afraid of not being able to do what I want when I want to do it. I’m also afraid of another being depending so critically on me. How do I know if I should have kids? 2. How will my anxiety be when I’m a parent? 3. What is it like to never have a break? How do you adjust and get through? 4. What joys of parenting have you found ground you? 5. What are the normal highs and lows and how do you ride them? For anyone new listening to this show, I am a regular person who has lived through a lot of random difficult shit and come out the other end pretty happy, high functioning, with healthy relationships. I am not a therapist or a scholar! So take what helps and leave the rest. A couple of books on this subject (and for once you have a baby) that I recommend are here: https://amzn.to/2yngOfy https://amzn.to/2LV5IBv https://amzn.to/2Zr4fLf https://amzn.to/2XinR1D - - - - - This show is brought to you by our latest sponsor: Better Help – licensed therapists you can see from the privacy of your couch! If you are interested in trying out therapy(at a lower cost), and you want to support this show, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for 10% off your first month of care. xo!

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This is an episode for if you have a painful obsession with an ex or a pervasive habit of fixating on relationships: they’re more important than job, personal time, family and friends. And often that relationship is one you know isn’t great – but you still obsess about that person, and it consumes your life. This might be especially painful during quarantine because you’re unable to distract yourself and do something about it. This is about putting yourself in ridiculously desperate positions, clinging to a relationship – even when you know it isn’t right for you. And that gush of fear, terror, loneliness, pain that overwhelms you and causes you to feel like you’d do ANYTHING to get someone to come back to you. It can make you act in crazy and degrading ways – but the pain of not having a person is too great. This was a request from a few different people (some of whom requested it quite a long time ago - so hopefully this is still helpful)!! The two books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/2SOD9d2 https://amzn.to/35IuJsU For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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In this episode, I am going to tackle a question from the audience (how to deal with rejection) and then go right into some tools! How to deal with rejection is a big one! It’s a muscle you have to intentionally grow. But quite literally it’s one of the most valuable muscles you can have because it means you move through life directly – with purpose, not guided by fear. It also means you grow exponentially. There are two pains in rejection: the loss of something imagined/the sadness of mourning. And second - the injury to ego. This second pain is the one that tends to fuck us up the most. Hopefully, I will offer you some tools for managing these pains and helping yourself move through rejection more quickly and positively, in the future! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon xo!

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This is an episode all about when you are your base level self. When you are rude, hurtful, intentionally mean, aggressive or difficult with others. Or perhaps you are sad, clingy, manipulative and controlling. In other words, when you act in ways that make you feel really bad about yourself. These states of being usually come about when you are super overworked or stressed, or you’re sleep-deprived or hormonal¬– and you end up snapping at people you love. Regardless of the conditions that set it up, it’s a state of being that perpetuates more of itself via feelings of shame and self-blame. A vicious cycle! So included in this episode are tools to help you navigate out of that state and also retrain yourself if you habitually end up here. For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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This is an episode all about when we start living life from our routine of “should’s” versus stopping to ask ourselves whether or not we are happy. When we get into a machine mode, going through the motions – we are on an autopilot of sorts. We are only operating from the neck up. This is when our life’s decisions are based on what we think we should do based on whatever particular responsibilities we have during that time. Yes, the brain is what serves us most in terms of survival – but it can lead us into a state of emptiness and resent if we don’t stop to listen to our heart and gut, too! (If you’re a caregiver who is not as happy as you think you “should be” based on everything you have, this is an episode for you – too!) For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

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This is an episode for anyone who feels like self-help and steps toward personal growth haven’t worked for them and they likely won’t. Maybe that’s because you feel alienated by most of the content out there, or maybe that’s because you feel like all the change you try to make does nothing: you just can’t win. Or maybe you feel like you haven’t made enough progress in your life in the areas that matter most to you: relationships, self-control, career success, happiness, confidence… etc. So you just feel stuck in a rut. Or maybe you just feel resentful toward all the people who seem to apply self-help easily to their lives. You might think….Self-help doesn’t work for me. I never can change, I don’t take the steps, I don’t read the books. I am royally fucked in my issues – I don’t see them going away anytime soon. Most people don’t resonate with me or “get” my issues. This is also for you if you are in a place where nothing seems to work for you – if you want to believe all the touchy-feely optimistic stuff but in the past it hasn’t worked for you. Maybe you are staring at your gratitude jar and saying “Why me? Why won’t things work out for me?” As with most of my episodes, there are three parts - the what the why and the how the tools. To read more of my work, see the products and services I offer, and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is a set of journal prompts for you to reflect on as you orient yourself for the year and reflect back on the years previous. This is what I have done and I got a lot out of it. I think you will, too. I like it because it draws on data while really bringing out more of what’s positive. It matters WHY you do something – because if you don’t really want to in your heart of hearts, it’s much harder to do it. These are reflections that allow you to set goals focused on what has made you the happiest. I hope you enjoy it and happy 2020! If you have any requests, comments or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

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Shame and trauma cannot be separated – they are incredibly interwoven. The reason I created this episode is shame is virtually unavoidable if you’ve been through a trauma and often times the shame is even harder to process and heal from. Why? Shame is an unseen self-authoring wound. It creates a whole slew of behaviors because we are tasked with carrying it – and as you are aware, shame is toxic. In order for us to contain it we need a wide buffer: a padding between it and consciousness. However, the way we create this is often very damaging and shame-inducing. So it’s a domino effect. And so most people avoid it for many years – why? It is too painful for us to look at. It’s also painful for others – if it tells you anything it’s often also avoided by therapists, because of how much discomfort it causes. So this is really just an entry-level exploration of possible shame in your person. Inspired by my own recent enlightenments. They happen the tiniest bit at a time. I also have some reading for you on the topic: Book 1 (for mindfulness intro): https://amzn.to/378upTT Book 2 (for more about shame/trauma): https://amzn.to/2sjyfuz reference for this piece: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/anzf.1275 For comments, requests and to make a donation head to yaywithme.com Yay.

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If you are one of those people who debates things in your mind endlessly, shuts down, isolates – this is for you. This is for you only if you find that this is causing you issues in your communication with others, difficulty in your relationships or perhaps you notice that it's affecting your confidence. This might be especially relevant for anyone out there who is heading back home for the holidays – if you return to your family of origin, all sorts of old drama can come up. You become a very sensitive organ reacting to very old wounds. There’s a lot in here about triggering family members and how to negotiate that situation. Shout out to two listeners in particular! Hope this helps! Xox For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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By scripts I am talking self-judgment. Negative self-talk. The things we perceive inside our heads – that tell us how to act and dictate what we believe about ourselves. We all have things we believe about ourselves and how we are perceived. However, there’s something very different that is experienced by the outside world. This episode is calling attention to that gap and examining whether or not it’s working for or against you. Because you can change everything in your life by changing how you interpret it! If you want to check it out – this is the book that inspired this episode: https://amzn.to/31PUyU8 For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is an episode about the self-soothing habits that we have that do not help us. For some that is online shopping. For some that is eating. And for some that is getting likes or getting hit on. What these have in common is they don’t fulfill us or make us feel whole. They actually end up making us feel an ever-increasing void where it matters most: on the inside. For more of my writing, to ask a question, and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit Patreon.com/sarahmayb Xox! To check out an article with more info about shopping addiction, head here: https://www.elle.com/fashion/shopping/a41845/shopping-dopamine/

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This is for anyone has a person in their life who is mistreating them. For example, let’s say you have an in-law who treats you like a punching bag, or your partner is hurting your feelings on a daily basis, or you have a volatile sibling who speaks to you terribly. It can be really disorienting, especially if you’ve been taking this for a really long time. Plus, with intimate relationships there’s often a trade-off that makes this even more complicated: if this relationship also provides you with rent, or your spouse doesn’t share your hurt perspective – you might feel guilty about having the feelings that you have. Caveat: this topic has some overlap with domestic violence but I am not addressing people who are victims of domestic violence. Why? Because in your situation, your physical safety is of primary concern and some of the tools I am offering might threaten that safety. For you I recommend you head to: thehotline.org or google your local domestic violence resource. And know that if you are in a relationship that you have been unable to leave – then know that it’s HARD but it’s not impossible. I’ve read that it takes an average of 7 to 8 times to leave – so whatever you do, don’t give up. As with all my episdes, there are three parts – the what, why and how the tools. To make a donation and for more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This was inspired by a friend of mine saying, “I’m not too many steps from a crazy person.” That really resonated with me – because it’s true. When life unravels, it’s really easy – and rapid – to get to a point of being completely leveled. Where we have no tools, where we are grasping, begging, underfoot, feeling desperate and worthless. Or crazy. Or like a mess, like life is a mess – like we fucked everything up. No one loves us, etc. So this is a preventative episode about “building your mental house right” – and you’ll hear more about that in the episode. I hope you enjoy! The book I talk about in this episode that I recommend if you are curious (but unsure) about therapy is here: https://amzn.to/33HcEtJ As with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest. I am not a doctor or a professional of any kind. I am a regular person who wants to help. You know you best. If you liked this episode and you would like to make a donation to support this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com and click donate or visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB xo!!

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Hi friends!! Apologies for the lag in postings…I have had some super intense hours as of late. But it will lighten up very soon. This is an episode all about the deeper and perhaps more logical causes of depression and anxiety. It’s inspired by a book I just read – which is BRILLIANT. Link at the bottom of the notes. Here’s the gist: Depression and anxiety are both forms of disconnection. We are cut off from things we need as humans – they are basic needs that we don’t realize we have. Because we live in the bubble of culture! You don’t realize how much that culture affects your world view and your habits; the thoughts and feelings you about yourself. If you want to do an experiment to see how conditioned you are by the various facets of culture, I invite you to watch a movie from 10 years ago. We don’t realize the messages we are receiving all the time and the power of those messages. A lot of our cultural depression is a literal mourning of consistent life experiences that we are meant to have– things that are vital to our baseline as humans. These needs aren’t being properly recognized, addressed, and or processed. I think – because a lot of people don’t know how REAL and NECESSARY they are! Back in the day, life was kind of set up around these basic needs – we had smaller villages where everyone had a role, and you were close to your family. Community networks kind of sustained everyone in these really core human needs. The isolation that we now experience – paired with the focus on external possessions really keeps us all in a state of chasing. So if you are struggling with a sense of chronic emptiness and you cannot see a logical cause, this episode is for you. And more importantly – this book is for you – it’s called “Lost Connections.” https://amzn.to/2SxK4WM For more of my work, to send comments, or make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com – and as with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest!! I am not a professional. I’m just a gal who wants to help. xox

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Hi peeps, this is a way to make sure you’re keeping yourself functioning at an optimal level – and not getting stuck in a stressed/triggered state or a low/depressed state. It’s basically how to widen your capacity for resiliency via grounding yourself in moments you are getting out of whack. This one is based on a lengthy training I had and it’s meant to be done in person - one-on-one, so hopefully it translates somewhat! If you need more information about this one, please let me know and I’ll post a part 2. For more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is for anyone who get triggered around a family member or other person in their life, but you have decided that you want to continue to be around this person – despite this trigger. So really – these are management tools for tolerating these interactions. This is from a listener who has to endure some triggers around a family member. When this person is there, they feel drained and irritated – so these are some tools for a similar situation. This is a very difficult (and sadly, common) experience – the gist is how to manage the experience of being around a triggering person if you’re still working on your shit in therapy. As with all my episodes – three parts: What, why and how the tools. If you’d like to see more of my writing or make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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Ways to represent your best self in work and in life. Tips for asking for a raise, evolving within your workplace and growing your confidence professionally. This is more geared toward individuals who work within a company versus being your own boss. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo! Here's a good article on things to think about before having a raise/promotion conversation with a boss: https://www.business.com/articles/salary-negotiation-tips-how-to-ask-for-and-get-a-raise/

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You might not realize that you are a perfectionist. You might just think you have a high bar and believe in excellence. A lot of perfectionists think that there’s nothing wrong about their high standards. And I would agree with them – unless you are robbing yourself of health, wellness, and happiness. By that I mean – are you unknowingly running yourself into the ground? OR are you possibly robbing yourself of enjoyment and balance in life? Perfectionism is like a helmet you wear through life because it alters your experience of everything: it alters how you feel, how you behave, and what you can appreciate. As with all my episodes – remember I am a regular person. No degrees or expertise. This is just my opinion, so take what helps and leave the rest! To make a donation and to see more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo!

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This is a powerup for anyone who is burned out or about to be burned out – currently getting super overwhelmed by their schedule and they’re starting to freak out. A lot of the reason we start to freak out is we get stuck in a state of anticipation: we start to foreshadow negative consequences, imagining how bad something will be – we actively live suffering in our minds. What I want to remind you of is your actual physical moment is quite different. When you are stressed out and overwhelmed in this actual moment – it looks very different. If you want to make a donation or check out more of my work visit YayWithMe.com xo!

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