Elis has returned from Dave's favourite continent sunkissed and with renewed vigour. As he saw the On Air light blink red there was a determination is his voice that he was going to carry John on this show no matter how much muscle the man from Buffinghamshire has put on. Thankfully, there was no need for such strenuous exertion as John arrived in peak comedic fitness. He dug into Elis's bold breakfast choices at the hotel buffet and in a radio first listed every single mug that you can find in his cupboard. That's 16, to be precise. Also expect an assonance-heavy Made Up Game and a caller who got the boys purring.

Over the past few months it’s been well documented that Elis James is the busiest man on earth, so this week he decided to take some much needed time off to top up his tan / vibe stores. But who could keep his seat warm whilst he keeps himself warm in Portugal? There was only one man for the job: everyone’s favourite Old Etonian (depending on which newspaper you read), the one and only Ivo Graham! And just like a loan player looking to make their mark in lower league football, he wasn’t content with sitting on the bench! He got stuck in from the first minute, gave John the runaround and even left a leg in on Producer Dave. There’s a Made Up Game which some (including the higher-ups at 5 Live) have branded ‘risky’, Ivo takes a look through this week’s broadsheets, John discusses his most recent step to becoming a beefcake, and a loveable East End builder stops by to give us a quote. Bosh!

With a MASSIVE announcement from the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar, a HUGE Made Up Game involving a behemoth of the broadcasting world, and a GIGANTIC faux pas from Producer Dave when describing his weekend plans, you’d be forgiven for looking on in disbelief when finding out today’s show is only 90 minutes long. Alongside all this bigness, Elis arrives at the studio with a very special guest, John sulks because of certain scoring parameters, and everyone just about remains on the right side of the undue prominence line when debating a Petty Parliament item.

What car would Huw Edwards drive? Where is John’s favourite spot to sit on a crowded train? Does Elis know how much a second class stamp costs? Does new feature The Riff Symposium actually work? All valid questions, with some fascinating answers* that are all revealed, divulged or discussed across two hours of scintillating radio with Elis and John. And amongst the cut and thrust of top notch seat-of-your-pants broadcasting, there was a Made Up Game that delivered, an Ask John that informed, and a Petty Parliament that divided. *Burgundy Mercedes E-Class estate, near the toilets, maybe - we're hopeful.

The floors of Broadcasting House were shaking this morning, as Beefcake Robins entered the studio fresh from achieving yet another personal best at the gym. His continued workout efforts have seen him rise to second in the table of the “5 Live Ripped Rankings”, and he’s got Rick Edwards firmly in his reach. And to show just how strong he’s become he was able to present the whole show with Elis on one shoulder and Producer Dave on another, all whilst maintaining perfect form. In a show which had “giddy energy” running through its veins the guys speak to a wildlife Unsung Hero, Elis’s social media habits are put under the microscope, John tries to figure out what car Tony Livesey drives, and Producer Dave’s eyes turn black from stress.

The higher-ups at the BBC might be able to restrict Elis and John to an hour's worth of radio in order to make room for the Cheltenham Festival, but do you know what they won't ever restrict? An appetite for quality chat that is SO ravenous they're able to make a 60-minute show feel like an 85-minute show because of just how much they've jammed into it! Producer Dave puts the guys through their comedy paces with another Riff Symposium, there's a discussion about Adrian Chiles' new money-making scheme, a listener tells us how brilliant Sweden is and John continues to flex his muscles (if only you could see them). Plus, John appeared on 5 Live Breakfast this morning as part of their 'In My Opinion' feature, so as a special treat we've included that too.

A surprise at every turn, content on the cusp of being toooo edgy, and with some bits a little too revealing for the more conservative consumer.. Elis and John on 5 Live, or the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar (available at bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn, fyi)? BOTH! With today’s explosive offering matching the #daring and #dangerous extremes of everyone’s favourite wall-hung charity organiser. There was sink-based drama, microwave-based shenanigans, plus some other stuff that isn’t centred around the kitchen. Enjoy!

In an unexpected turn of events John has become something of a 'gym head', and today in the studio he asked Elis and Dave to touch his muscles 12 times (far more than the usual three times). Thankfully the guys didn't pass out with passion: they were able to take the excitement they felt after John tensed up his biceps and translate it into top notch broadcasting. Today's show featured an on-air reunion with an old pal, a Shame Well that has already been submitted into the 'Awards' folder, everyone's favourite cheeky postman stopped by... and it was all delivered with a touch of class! Do YOU want access to back-to-back shame? Thankfully you're in luck, as 'Shame Well' is now available as its own playlist on BBC Sounds! Just search 'Shame Well' on the greatest app on earth to listen to some of the best shame from over the years uninterrupted.

A wise person once said "A rising tide lifts all boats". However another less well-known wise person also said "A giddy John lifts all spirits", and today saw such a proverb come to life as Robins and his good pal James excitedly crafted a radio show for the ages. Yes, Elis and John were in fine fettle today; and even managed to make Producer Dave turn completely pale whilst discussing EMF. If you're playing 'radio production bingo' you're likely to be shouting 'HOUSE' very quickly, as today's show included all the following: a live read of terms and conditions, a new feature created on the fly, throwing to the cricket, and ringing of 'the good radio bell'. There was also an extremely tense Made Up Game, a motivational masterclass, and a conclusion to 'Bristol City Penaltygate'.

Today's show was BRAVO, INDIA, GOLF. No, the guys weren't celebrating the achievements of PGA tour golfer Anirban Lahiri: they announced that 'The Elis James and John Robins Tax Year Calendar' in aid of Comic Relief is finally available to purchase! Whilst the value of the pound was only marginally affected by the announcement it's safe to say that the orders came flying in, showing once again how passionate the people of the UK are about TAX. Away from all the calendar chat there was a Made Up Game for the linguistics fans amongst you, the guys aired out some more Hot Gossip, Adrian shares some listeners' poetry to rival Producer Dave, and a real-life New Yorker dials in from his midtown loft on the Upper West Side! - To get hold of YOUR copy of the UK’s hottest piece of tax merchandise, you just need to head to bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn where you can also find the terms and conditions and privacy notice. Once there, you just need to click on the ‘Tax Calendar’ link, and that’ll take you straight to the order page. The calendar costs £12.99 including postage, with a minimum of £4 from each sale being donated to registered charity Comic Relief and will help to support people who are facing the toughest times of their lives. The money raised will help people struggling with the cost-of-living crisis and tackle issues such as homelessness, mental health problems, and food poverty. The calendars will be available to buy until 31st March 2023, so act fast to make sure you don’t miss out on your very own piece of tax history!