Nicole is once again single-handedly manning the ship for a conversation with Rae McDaniel (they/them), a non-binary therapist, certified sex therapist, coach, Transgender Diversity and Inclusion Educator, AND author of the upcoming book "Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step Into Your Most Authentic Self" -- talk about a multi-hyphenate! Rae grew up the adopted child of fundamentalist Southern Baptist missionary puppeteers (!!) in rural Louisiana, got married very young to a cis man, and didn't come out as queer until they moved to Chicago for grad school. Their story is an inspiring example of moving through difficulty to find gender "magic," which they define as that space where "who I think that I am, how I'm presenting myself in the world, who I'm surrounding myself with, and how I'm showing up in the world are all aligned." Rae also discusses how they encourage their trans and non-binary clients to move away from a fear-based paradigm by reframing gender exploration as the magic we are running *towards,* not just the pain we are running away from. It's a fantastic conversation, and we hope it whets your appetite for Rae's book, which launches May 30th!Follow Rae on Instagram at @theraemcdaniel for allllll things Rae, including their newsletter and "Gender Magic" pre-orders!

Nicole flies solo this week for a WILD ride of a conversation with NYC comedian Maggie Lalley, who took her childhood trauma and turned it into a *hilarious* off-Broadway musical! Sex Witch The Musical covers Maggie's time in, quote, "a two-person teen witch sex cult," and if that sentence doesn't grab your attention...then we are quite simply out of ideas. Maggie divulges an incredible true tale of Albanian witches, bi-locational powers, and even A-List celebrities (kind of)! Plus, Nicole helps Maggie have *multiple* breakthrough realizations in real time!Follow Maggie on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok at @magslals, and purchase tickets for Sex Witch The Musical (opening April 19th!) at https://www.sohoplayhouse.com/sex-witch-the-musical. Don't forget that you can DM Maggie for a secret discount code!

There's "I didn't realize I was queer!" and then there's "An actual pastor's kid had to inform me that I was queer!" Comedian and podcast host Jolenta Greenberg (How to Be Fine) hilariously falls into the second category. Although Jolenta spent all of high school in blissful obliviousness, the evidence of her bisexuality had been piling up since childhood, notably with simultaneous crushes on LeVar Burton and a female side character on Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. But despite frequently hooking up with her female friends and regularly attending a queer club, Jolenta genuinely believed that she was just a REALLY good ally! She and Nicole bond over being bi women in straight-facing marriages, and Jolenta discusses the "pang" she sometimes feels about not having put a label on her sexuality sooner. Also: what it's like to live by the teachings of different self-help books week after week, all for the purposes of your podcast!Follow Jolenta on Instagram at @jolenta_g and on Twitter at @JolentaG. Also, check out How to Be Fine (formerly known as By The Book) wherever you get your podcasts, and follow them on Instagram at @howtobefinepod!

This Friday, March 31st, is Trans Day of Visibility, and we quite literally can't think of a better way to celebrate than with the author of the upcoming book "Begin Transmission: The trans allegories of The Matrix!" When screenwriter Tilly Bridges first saw The Matrix back in 1999, it spoke to her on an incredibly deep level that she couldn't fully understand until about fifteen years later, when she realized that - like the Wachowski Sisters themselves - she was trans. Tilly decided to revisit and analyze the movie that had started it all, and what began as a simple thread about The Matrix's trans allegories eventually became a timestamped handbook to the entire series! As Matrix fans, we absolutely GEEKED OUT over this conversation, and we know that you will, too! Happy Trans Day of Visibility!"Begin Transmission: The trans allegories of The Matrix" comes out on June 27th, and you can pre-order it wherever books are sold! Also, follow Tilly (and ask her all your Matrix questions!) on Twitter at @TillyBridges, and on Instagram at @heckyeahtillybridges. For all of the writing she and her wife do as a team, check out http://birdguest.com/, and for over a hundred archived Trans Tuesdays posts (plus new ones every week), go to http://tillystranstuesdays.com/!

We have a hilarious chat with one of Lauren's old comedy buddies: actor, writer, director, and standup, Bill Posley! As a Black-presenting, Catholic school *and* Baptist Church-attending veteran from a military family, you can probably guess how easy it was for Bill to accept the fact that he was bisexual. He weaves a Tarantino-esque tale that involves answering a classified ad for masseuses, getting clean and sober, and having a surprisingly revelatory coming out conversation with his father. Plus: Uncle Reggie's fabulous adventures in West Hollywood!Find Bill everywhere at @BillPosley, and check out his standup, By The Bi, and more on his YouTube channel!

We have a conversation with psychoanalyst Avgi Saketopoulou that is truly unlike *anything* we've ever broached before. Avgi's new book is called "Sexuality Beyond Consent," and if that title makes you a tad uncomfortable...that's kind of the point. Avgi's work gives new meaning to the idea of "risky" sex by exploring the eroticism around shame, humiliation, and objectification, with a particular focus on the controversial sexual roleplay fetish known as race play. She guides us through an incredibly nuanced conversation about "finding the erotic in the domain of the traumatic" (an experience that can be both frightening *and* exhilarating), and explains how, especially when it comes to queer sex, "we are both fenced in, and fencing ourselves in." Avgi is absolutely BRILLIANT, and we are so grateful that she was game to dive into this very complicated (but equally fascinating) territory!(TW: explicit sexual acts; discussion of race play, and accompanying discussion of Jeremy O. Harris' "Slave Play")Check out Avgi's website at https://www.avgisaketopoulou.com/, and follow her on Instagram at @avgolis98. You can purchase "Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia" via the above site, or wherever books are sold. And don't forget to leave a review!

Okay: so last month in Episode 234, we had a good ol' fashioned bitch session about how gatekeep-y the Los Angeles queer scene can be. But because we are mature and balanced adults, it seemed only fair to highlight the founder of one queer event in L.A. that is getting it 100% RIGHT! Enter Lilly Brown, the creator and organizer of Queer Field Day! Fostering community has always been a central part of Lilly's life, tracing all the way back to one night in college when she found herself at a queer oil wrestling after-party, looked around, and realized "everything feels right here." Lilly explains how a beach get-together that she figured would draw maybe twenty to fifty people ended up being a 300+ person event, and how from there she built Queer Field Day into one of the most popular gatherings in L.A.! Also, the tale of how a mismatched room share situation at Dinah Shore unexpectedly led Lilly to the love of her life...Follow Lilly on TikTok and Instagram at @lilly27sings, and check out Queer Field Day at https://www.queerfieldday.com/, and on Instagram at @queerfieldday! For those local to L.A., other queer community resources mentioned in this episode were https://www.hicuties.com/ (make sure to sign up for their fantastic email list!), and @beingqueerinla on Insta.

At long last: it's actor, writer, director, and educator, Carolyn Ratteray (Outfest 2022's (UN)CLAIMED)! We've been wanting to have Carolyn on the pod for ages, because she and her wife, Kelli, were one of the first poly couples that Nicole EVER met! Carolyn regales us with a twisty-turny story that involves a sleepaway arts camp, a Black Baptist conference on homosexuality, and two *incredibly* prophetic dreams! She also shares how kink helped free her from the residual shame she was carrying from her long and arduous coming out process, and we have a tantalizing discussion about BDSM (Lauren mostly listens!).Follow Carolyn on Instagram at @carolynratteray, and watch (UN)CLAIMED on Vimeo at https://vimeo.com/694127928!

It's Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, and our guest (and current med student) Stella is LEARNING US UP on this oft-misunderstood identity! In addition to being aromantic, Stella also identifies as asexual and queer, but it's the first of these labels that most strongly shapes and affects how she experiences the world. Stella discusses how, to her, being aromantic feels like existing on "a different plane entirely," and not at all like "operating from a deficit" - an incredibly important distinction that alloromantic folks often don't understand. Stella also explains how health providers tend to pathologize asexuality and aromanticism, treating these identities as a problem to be solved rather than trusting their patients' lived experience. It's a fascinating episode that sheds a lot of light on not just aromanticism, but relationships in general. Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, y'all!Follow Stella's advocacy page on Instagram at @aroacespec_tacular.ca, and check out The Aspec Affirming Practitioner Directory at https://aspecaffirmingdire.wixsite.com/aspec-affirming-prac!

In honor of Black History Month, we're doing a special episode covering a selection of Black queer trailblazers who are especially meaningful to us! We've put our focus on activists and artists who fly a little bit below the radar, so chances are you won't know most of these folks, but you absolutely should. Lauren finally talks about a singer/songwriter who ISN'T Joni Mitchell! Nicole shares the work of a spoken-word poet who made her heart go pitter patter as a teen! We also recommend present-day accounts to follow, and discuss some of the uprisings helmed by queer people of color that pre-date Stonewall. Happy Black History Month!Discussed in this episode:Bayard RustinAntoinette Scully (@AntoinetteForLA on Twitter and Insta)Staceyann Chin (@staceyannchin on Twitter and Insta)Joan Armatrading (@ArmatradingJoan on Twitter; @joan_armatrading on Insta)Cheryl Dunye (@cheryldunye on Insta; @cdunye on Twitter)Gladys BentleyStormé DeLarverieThe Cooper Do-nuts and Compton's Cafeteria riotsJanaya Future Khan (@janayathefuture on Insta; @janaya_khan on Twitter)@BlackQueerJoy on InstaRaquel Willis (@raquel_willis on Insta; @RaquelWillis_ on Twitter)Octavia's Chariot (@octavias_chariot on Insta; virtual Speed Friending event on Feb. 24th!)

We have a fashion-forward conversation with the OUTRAGEOUSLY stylish Amir Levi! Amir is a non-binary performer who uses the pronouns he, she, and they ("I like it when they get turns, so that none of them feel left out"), and their story has alllll the hallmarks of the late '90s: Coming out to your friend after seeing Scream 2! Guys from chat rooms calling your family's fax machine! Problematic senior yearbook quotes! Your dad offering to buy you porn! Amir explains how two acting roles they were playing simultaneously finally unlocked their understanding of their own gender, and the brilliant plan they concocted to explore their feminine side! Plus, Nicole shares a fascinating story about Leif that proves just how deeply heteronormativity runs in our culture...Follow Amir on Instagram at @theamirlevi, and check out theamirlevi.com!

There are two people without whom the podcast would literally not exist: one is Episode 87 guest Susan Miller, who introduced Lauren and Nicole to each other, and the other is today's guest, the unparalleled Samee Junio, who recorded OUR VERY FIRST EPISODE and heard ALL OF OUR SECRETS! Currently the Senior Audio Producer for Entertainment Weekly, Samee (they/them) grew up the youngest of five children in white, conservative, megachurch-heavy Colorado Springs, and used to change out of the dresses their parents made them wear as soon as they got to school. Today, their identifiers include non-binary, certified Good Boy (TM), horse girl, and of course, "human bowl of noodles." Samee shares the hilarious significance (and non-significance!) behind some of their many tattoos, and tells us the most emotionally-crushing, gay teenage angst story we have EVER heard. Plus, we stop being polite and start getting real about L.A.'s too-cool-for-school queer scene!Follow Samee on Twitter at @it_your_sam for tattoos, pizza, and pups! Also, the L.A. LGBT Center's safe 'n cozy social groups that we talk about at the end of this episode can all be found online at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/social-networking-groups/.

We chat with the FABULOUSLY queer Amir Yass, a content creator and TikTokker whose self-described job is "to make straight white men uncomfortable!" Amir grew up the child of immigrant parents in a conservative Muslim household in Orange County. How conservative? Let's just say his parents not only pulled him out of sex ed in middle school, they also moved houses because their neighbor was an out gay man. Amir shares how both therapy and comedy have helped him to destigmatize the shame he felt for so much of his life, and discusses how "coming in" is not just an affirming practice in general; it can also be a real lifesaver for those in situations where it simply isn't safe to come out. All this, plus that full-circle Hallmark moment when Grindr reconnects you with someone from your distant past!Follow Amir on Instagram and TikTok at @amiryassofficial, and feel free to DM him!

We cover some entirely new territory in a candid and vitally important conversation with Avi Roque, who voices Raine Whispers on The Owl House. Like many of us, Avi (they/them) had the ubiquitous "tomboy" label imposed upon them in childhood, and suffice to say it was a long and arduous road from there to their current trans/transmasculine identity. A consummate storyteller, Avi walks us through their entire journey, which includes leaning all the way into ultra-feminine stereotypes during high school, and hitting a scary rock bottom in adulthood that finally prompted them to begin the process of medically transitioning. Avi's story involves reckoning with their demons in a difficult, vulnerable, and honest way, and we hope this episode encourages nuanced dialogue about the human capacity for growth, change, and healing.(TW: mentions of assault and suicidal ideation, but nothing descriptive)Follow Avi on Instagram and TikTok at @avi_roque, and on Twitter at @ok_roque.

In July of last year, Nicole made an Instagram post announcing the adoption of her new puppy, Lily, named for Harry's mother in the Harry Potter series. Kai Katschthaler (they/them), a longtime fan of Nicole's who identifies as trans non-binary, was surprised that Nicole would pick this name due to the J. K. Rowling of it all, and commented something to this effect. Since this was all happening on social media...you can probably guess what ensued. The twist, though, is that Nicole and Kai decided to take things offline and actually talk face-to-face over Zoom, which ultimately led to Nicole inviting Kai onto the podcast! Kai starts by sharing their coming out story, and from there we tackle the *incredibly* sticky and nuanced topic of how (or even if) we can still incorporate the art we love into our lives when the people behind that art...suck. We talk TRAUMA! We talk INTENT! But above all, we talk compassion and empathy. We're so grateful to Kai for having this conversation with us, and we can't wait to hear what you all think!Follow Kai on Twitter and drop them a request on Instagram at @thegrumpyenby! Also, check out their Linktree at https://linktr.ee/thegrumpyenby, and explore Taboola Rasa at https://taboolarasa.org/ and @taboolarasaproj everywhere.

We're starting the new year with a longtime friend of the pod whose *very* distinctive name can be heard each and every week on our list of patrons: that's right, it's Pooh! Pooh hails from Alaska, and is NOT kidding when she says that the story of her life is basically "many, many Lifetime movies." From getting married off at seventeen to a "family friend" who was four decades her senior, to being personally responsible for helping to get domestic violence laws passed in Texas, Pooh has navigated some unfathomably difficult circumstances (abuse, life-threatening illness, etc.) with an INCREDIBLE amount of grace and humor. She shares some of the most impactful stories from her life, including how her platonic poly family has rallied around her in the wake of a recent health diagnosis. All this, plus the kiss heard 'round the world at FaberryCon!Follow Pooh on Twitter at @rqficrecs and on Instagram at @poohtine7.

We're so excited to be releasing the episode of The Bechdel Cast that we both guested on back in June of 2019! Listen to us discuss allllllll the gay goodness of the *classic* holiday film Carol, and remember: always leave your gloves behind if you want to help a repressed shopgirl have her lesbian awakening.Follow The Bechdel Cast at @BechdelCast, and follow hosts Caitlin and Jamie at @caitlindurante and @jamieloftusHELP (@jamiechristsuperstar on Insta).

HAPPY HOLIGAYS, Y'ALL!!! It's our annual Listener Mailbag episode, and we got *so* many great questions from you this year! We discuss a wide variety of queer queries, ranging from the serious (what to do about transphobic colleagues and how to check in with a loved one re: their mental health) to the sexy! Listen as we share resources and spicy personal anecdotes; plus, Lauren closes out the year by throwing us a GENUINE CURVEBALL. May your holidays be merry and very, very, gay, and we'll see you all in 2023!As always, we'll be taking next week off, but check your feed on Wednesday for a special *bonus* episode all about the GREATEST LESBIAN CHRISTMAS MOVIE OF ALL TIME! (No; not Happiest Season.)

In the past couple of years, the term "DEI" has started popping up *a lot* online, to the point where Googling just those three letters turns up hundreds of hits! However, you would not be alone in admitting that you maybe don't exactly know what DEI...like...is. Fortunately, Lily Zheng (author of the recently-published "DEI Deconstructed: Your No-Nonsense Guide to Doing the Work and Doing It Right") is here to explain everything; not only in layperson's terms, but from a queer perspective! In an incredibly wide-reaching conversation, Lily (they/them) explains how both the acronym "LGBT" and the phrase "people of color" originated as solidarity terms, and demolishes the maddening argument that "it's actually *harder* to be a straight white man right now..." (complete with factual data you can share with all the butthurt people in your life!). Plus, Lauren tells a story that demonstrates why you should NEVER host a tequila drinking contest in your college apartment!Check out https://lilyzheng.co/home/ for more info on Lily (including links to all of their books!), and connect with them on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/lilyzheng308/.

Throughout her adolescence, Iris Liu ticked off a number of familiar boxes: SUPER good ally; "isn't *everybody* attracted to their friends...?"; all the greatest hits. But it wasn't until she fell in with the rugby team at college that Iris finally had her Aha! moment ("It was like, all of a sudden, all my friends were lesbians"). Today, Iris identifies as both queer and polyamorous, but it's been a hard-won journey that's involved, among other things, "trying to break some generational curses." Iris shares what it was like to unexpectedly meet Her Person (TM) - who just so happened to be a cis man - before she'd had a chance to explore her feelings for women, and how having the terrifying "I think I'm poly" conversation with him ended up bringing them much closer together. Also, we tackle the eternal question: are you the person in the relationship who's afraid of losing your partner, or the person in the relationship who's afraid of losing *yourself*?Check out Iris' gorgeous website at https://www.irisliuart.com/, and follow her on Instagram at @irisliuofficial!

If you've ever wondered what could make a lawyer leave their profession to create the world's first undies for oral sex (and who among us hasn't?), then this is the episode for YOU! Melanie Cristol, Founder & CEO of Lorals, discovered she was queer in college; a realization that so deeply influenced her sense of social justice that she ended up going to law school. As a lawyer, Melanie went to work fighting for people, including on one case with Lambda Legal that brought gay marriage to the Western United States! But then something that happened (or rather, *didn't* happen) on her honeymoon gave her the idea for Lorals, and Melanie found that she just couldn't get it out of her head... We have a fantastic conversation all about the inequity of dental dams, the stigma surrounding STIs, and the WORLD-CHANGING benefits of great oral sex!Learn about all things Lorals at https://mylorals.com/, and enter the code "comingoutpod" at checkout for 15% off! Also follow Lorals and Melanie on...TikTok & Insta: @mylorals / @melaniecristolTwitter: @mylorals / @melcristol

Eden Robinson's story has a little bit of everything: A dad who was both a rabbi *and* a pastor! Marlee Matlin as a gateway drug to The L Word! Kate McKinnon as the final nail in the coffin for compulsory heterosexuality! Eden shares how, despite an upbringing where she was praised for questioning everything, she nevertheless was too frightened to truly interrogate her own sexuality until she was much older. Plus, the confusing difficulty of finding femme lesbian representation IRL, and the choice to have a "low contact" relationship with a challenging parent.We also open this episode with a conversation about the recent tragedy that took place at Club Q in Colorado Springs. Rest in peace Daniel Davis Aston, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paugh, Derrick Rump, and Raymond Green Vance. May their memory be a blessing.Check out all things Eden at https://www.fangirlfit.com/, and follow her on Instagram at both @fangirlfit and @writing.eden.

Last week, America held its midterm elections, and many of us were nervously anticipating a so-called "red wave." What ended up happening, however, was a red...and orange...*and* yellow...*AND*--okay; we're just gonna cut to the chase: IT WAS A RAINBOW WAVE!!! Lauren and Nicole take a week off from coming out stories to discuss the historic wins queer candidates had in this pivotal, record-breaking election, and what it means for the country. Nicole gives a quick-and-dirty civics lesson! Lauren learns that AOC is not, in fact, a senator! We also announce our fourth annual Listener Mailbag episode, and much more! God Bless America, kinda!HELP RAPHAEL WARNOCK WIN THE GEORGIA RUNOFF! Tons of things you can do here, regardless of where you live: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xOm2N3kde8A617xdGt_mkR5cR5aTslFXyqxNBZby9v4/edit?usp=sharing. And don't forget to get your questions in for next month's listener mailbag! *And* check out https://www.comingoutpod.com/media for the free trans Zoom groups Lauren mentioned, as well as a bunch of other resources! *AND* find one-of-a-kind holiday gifts for all the queers in your life at https://www.beyondclexa.com/!

We have officially set a new record with this week's guest Tricia Friedman, who has lived in a whopping *eight* countries as a result of her longtime work as an educator! And as if that weren't exciting enough, Tricia also gifts us with our first coming out story to ever involve being mistaken for a spy by Russian authorities WHO IS THIS WOMAN OF MYSTERY AND INTRIGUE?! From humble beginnings in New Jersey, Tricia details how her initial move to China gave her the continents-wide space she felt she needed to finally feel comfortable living as a "super-charged lesbian." She also explains how meeting her wife during her travels and constantly moving together as a queer couple provided a unique window into what it's like to be out in a multitude of different countries ("I feel like my coming outs are kind of in the hundreds"). All this, plus Nicole finally lets our listeners in on her *day job*...Follow Tricia on Twitter at @tricia_fried, and check out learning organizations https://allyed.org/ and https://www.shiftingschools.com/! Also, listen to Be a Better Ally, Shifting Schools, and Unhinged Collaboration wherever you get your podcasts, and hit Tricia up if you'd like to be a guest on Be a Better Ally (Lauren guested on Episode 98!).

We have a rapid-fire discussion about one of our all-time favorite topics: queer female representation in media! Karen Frost describes herself as a "professional lesbian dabbler," but that majorly downplays the WEALTH of knowledge she has as a result of ceaselessly mining the data for queer TV shows, films, and web series! We discuss how (and why) projects like Nicole's As Love Goes face increasing difficulty when it comes to funding, and why outlets like Autostraddle are having trouble staying afloat. We also address the anger in our community over how many queer female-fronted shows have been cancelled recently (spoiler alert: direct your rage more towards sexism than homophobia...). Plus, we wax nostalgic (or rather, *non*-nostalgic) about how there used to be so few queer female characters on TV that you LITERALLY knew all of them, and Karen shares how Xena: Warrior Princess kickstarted her entire career path!Follow Karen at @Lez_Dish on both Twitter and Instagram, and listen to Peaches Aren't the Only Fruit and GossipINT wherever you get your podcasts. Also, check out https://www.karenfrostbooks.com/ for info on all of Karen's books!

It's Intersex Awareness Day, and we are thrilled and honored to at long last have on our first ever out intersex guest, the brilliant Val Hill! Val (they/she) is a queer intersex community advocate who facilitates the group Club Intersex for the L.A. LGBT Center, so you would never in a million years guess that, pre-pandemic, she didn't even *know* the umbrella term "intersex!" Val shares how a routine sports physical at the age of fifteen led to them learning that they have complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (CAIS), something they thought was a random genetic occurrence specific to their family. It wasn't until decades later during lockdown that Val finally discovered the robust intersex community that exists online, and fully embraced the beautiful "liminal space" that intersex folks inhabit. We learned a ton in this episode, and we're so grateful to Val for having this truly expansive conversation with us!Follow Val on Instagram at @lookwhatvalposted, and check out the L.A. LGBT Center's Club Intersex group at @clubintersex! Also mentioned in this episode...Intersex activist Tatenda Ngwaru's GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/safety-and-wellbeing-for-tatenda-ngwaruAdditional intersex folks and orgs to follow on Instagram: @intersexjusticeproject / @interconnect_support / @saifaemerges / @pidgeon / @xoxy_alicia / @red.moonprojectThe Intersex Awareness Day 2022 Insta Live that Val did with Jahni Laggett (@queen_jahni_) is posted on Club Intersex's Insta at https://www.instagram.com/p/CkMp3Yap65Z/

At the age of nineteen, journalist and author Jessi Hempel came out. Tale as old as time, right? But far less traveled territory is what proceeded to happen over the next several years: four out of five members of Jessi's immediate family - including her father - *ALSO* came out! Two decades later, in the midst of lockdown-induced isolation, Jessi, her parents, and her two younger siblings somewhat unexpectedly began turning to each other for support, despite their tumultuous family history. Equally unexpectedly, Jessi found herself wanting to revisit the deeply-vulnerable five-year period during which every single one of them (including Jessi's mother, in a different way) came out of the closets they had been trapped in. The end result is the newly-released, Glennon Doyle-endorsed memoir "The Family Outing," and we were absolutely thrilled to get to talk to Jessi all about it! Plus, we get into identity politics, and the *particular* way we all judge our parents' relationships...Look for "The Family Outing" wherever books are sold! You can also connect with Jessi on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessihempel/, and check out her award-winning podcast, Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel.

Surprise! We're dropping this week's episode a day early because IT'S NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY, Y'ALL! And we're celebrating in a big way with none other than actor Janet Varney, who voices bicon Korra on The Legend of Korra! Janet was never "in" the closet ("The first kisses I ever had were with girls, and that never stopped"), so she found it confusing when the internet informed her that she had "come out." She discusses the eye-opening experience she had doing a comic-con in a not-so-queer-friendly part of the country, and shares how she put all the *complicated female friendship angst* of her youth into the lesbian character she played on Burning Love. We also delve into the maddening stereotypes that bisexual women have to deal with while dating (Women are afraid you'll leave them for a man! Men are afraid you'll cheat because you MISS BOOBS!), and Janet spills the details of her *extremely* relatable Jodie Foster obsession...Follow Janet on Twitter at @janetvarney and on Instagram at @thejvclub, and listen to The JV Club wherever you get your pods!

Actor, writer, and longtime friend of Nicole's, Doug Plaut (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate), had what can only be described as a roughhhhh childhood. When Doug (they/he) began exhibiting non-heteronormative traits at an early age ("I was a four-year-old who loved Barbara Streisand"), his parents sought out medical intervention. By late high school, Doug had seen eleven psychiatrists, and been on a whopping *seventeen* different medications. Doug recounts his struggles with exercise bulimia, his hilarious/enviable desire to identify most as "a strange person who, like, lives in the woods," and the incredible 180 his father did in recent years. Also, his beautiful friendship with Charles Busch, and the life-changing production of The Sound of Music in which he and Nicole played von Trapp siblings!Follow Doug on Instagram at @dougplautperson and on Twitter at @DougPlaut.

We're closing out Bi Visibility Month with makeup artist, photographer, and Leif Pacent-Lindquist's "Number One" Babysitter, Kyrsta Morehouse! Kyrsta grew up in a small, conservative town in Northern California and was raised in a "very Christian" home. However, when she became aware of her attraction to women, it wasn't being a lesbian that Kyrsta was afraid of, but rather "living in that weird liminal space." In fact, Kyrsta found herself praying to God to just make her straight *or* gay. Kyrsta discusses moving to L.A. all alone at eighteen, why "bi" resonates with her more strongly than "pan" (even though they're equally accurate labels for her), and how finding the pod during quarantine led Kyrsta to the L.A. LGBT Center's Biosphere group, which in turn led her to her partner!Follow Kyrsta on Instagram at @kyrstashae, and follow her AMAZING makeup artist account at @kyrstamua!

Episode 33 guest Ash Holzer returns for an episode we've really been looking forward to, because WOW have things changed in her life since she was first on the pod! When we spoke to Ash (formerly "Ashley") in January of 2019, she had recently been part of the L.A. LGBT Center's Women's Coming Out group; she and her husband were living on different sides of the same house while co-parenting their three children, and legal separation papers had been filed. Fast forward to today: Ash and her husband are still cohabitating...but in a very different manner. Ash discusses the whirlwind relationship she had with a woman shortly after our initial recording ("it was really great until it wasn't"), how she unexpectedly fell back in love with her partner during the pandemic, and how she's navigated the fear that doing so would somehow erase all her growth over the past three-and-a-half years. Above all, Ash details how she's learned to follow her heart while also using her head, and the delicate balance of "trying not to let one get ahead of the other."Follow Ash on Instagram at @asholza!This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

We talk to one of our co-facilitators at the L.A. LGBT Center, Tawni Sofia Acosta! Tawni is sixty-two, and was born at a time when there was zero information on being transgender ("or if there was information, it was just the freak show information"). As a result, she had no language to explain what she was feeling; she only knew that if she expressed it to her family and friends, things would not go well. Tawni ended up suppressing her true identity so ferociously that she didn't even begin addressing it until she was in her fifties...at which point she had been in a hetero-presenting marriage for over twenty years. Tawni explains how her need to see herself as female kept intensifying until she finally had to face it head on, and shares what that meant for her marriage, her job, and more. She also describes how transitioning gave her a courage she'd never had before, and unexpectedly led her to her new career as a hypnotherapist!(TW: discussion of suicidal ideation)Follow Tawni on Instagram at @acostatawni, and on Twitter at @TawniSofia. You can also connect with her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TawniSofiaAcosta, on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/tsacosta, or schedule a discovery/strategy call with her at https://calendly.com/tawnisofia/strategy-call!This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

We bask in the glow of the LUSCIOUSLY-MANED Garrett Schlichte (he/they)! When Nicole heard Garrett's essay "My Relationship Guru Is a 14-Year-Old Girl" on the Modern Love podcast, she knew we had to have him on to talk about "second adolescence," or as it is affectionately known in our community, "queer puberty." Garrett was in the fourth grade when he first got called "gay" by a classmate (because "people have eyes"), and was subsequently so afraid of being seen for who he was that he went through a bully phase in high school. He shares how being gay eventually grew to become his favorite thing about himself, and presents a beautiful argument as to why it is the responsibility of straight allies to *make* the world safe for us, rather than just fearing for our safety. Also, we take '90s rom-coms to TASK for their straight, cis, monogamy-exclusive transgressions!Check out all of Garrett's work on his website, https://www.garrettschlichte.com/, and follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @gschlichte.This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

Uh oh! We have a new BFF in Nashville and it's singer/songwriter GODDESS, Nicole Serrano! Nicole (she/they) identifies as non-binary ("I feel like 'female-plus'"), and remembers having crushes on girls as early as preschool. Growing up in the Pentecostal Church, however, meant constant messaging that "gay people were going to Hell," so when it came to her burgeoning sexuality, Nicole says, "I knew what I knew, but it was never an option." Meanwhile, she was singing regularly in church and began writing her own music at fourteen, which led to her gaining a sizeable following in the Christian music scene. Nicole shares how the intense stress of repressing her true identity eventually landed her in the hospital, and walks us through the moment she came out as gay on Good Morning America (talk about a baptism by fire! (no pun intended!)). She also discusses finally writing the music she really wants to write, and we get the scoop on her upcoming album all about coming out!Follow Nicole on Instagram at @nicoleserrano, and listen to her music on all of the usual music-listening platforms!This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

In the grand tradition of Sappho, Audre Lorde, and probably Emily Dickinson (just sayin'), the pod finally hosts our first ever lesbian poet! Sofia Fey has always "just gravitated towards terms that felt right," and found reclaiming the word "lesbian" to be important to them. However, it wasn't until years later when they began identifying as non-binary and exclusively using they/them pronouns that they finally felt like they were being seen. In addition to being a non-binary lesbian, Sofia also identifies as demisexual, which gives us the opportunity to delve deeper into demisexuality than we ever have before (get ready for some in-real-time Googling!). All this, plus Sofia graces us with not one, but *two* live poetry readings! YOU WILL FEEL SO CULTURED AFTER THIS EPISODE!Follow Sofia on Twitter and Instagram at @sofiafeycreates, and follow the Luminaries poetry workshop on Twitter at @luminouspoets. Most importantly, read Sofia's poetry and fiction (and find out about their live readings) at http://www.sofiafey.com/! And if you'd like to reach out to Sofia about any of their work, you can drop them a line at sofia@sofiafey.com.

Raised in a traditional Middle Eastern family, author and podcaster George Azar ("My Gay Church Days") knew that he was attracted to men even before puberty hit. But when his older brother came out in middle school and was summarily put into therapy, George receded even further into the closet. He became a Young Republican in order to gain his father's approval, and was subsequently drawn to Christianity, which promised a "remedy" for his homosexuality. George excelled so much in the way of the Church that he became a pastor, all the while being told - and believing - that his queerness was a gateway to (you guessed it!) pedophilia and bestiality. His journey towards self-acceptance included seeing a "conversion therapy specialist," and eventually doing his own deep dive on what the Bible *actually* says about homosexuality. Despite everything he's been through, George is absolutely EFFERVESCENT, and he shares his story with an incredible amount of grace and humor!Follow George everywhere at @mygaychurchdays, and check out https://www.mygaychurchdays.com/ for all the info on George's book, podcast, and more!

It's a conversation that's been four years in the making! In her first appearance on the pod back in Episode 9, Lauren Ludwig (she/they) told us her coming out story, and detailed a number of parallels that it shared with her own mother's journey, which started back when Lauren was a child. Now, in a special guest co-host episode, Lauren and Lauren (double your Laurens, double your fun!) at long last sit down with Randi Ludwig, the woman who LITERALLY started it all! Randi was born in 1955, and genuinely never questioned her sexuality until she unexpectedly fell in love with a woman in the late '80s...at which point she was already happily married with two children. She describes the absolute *terror* she felt at this revelation, and how difficult it was to navigate a situation that had caught her completely off guard. We cover everything from internalized homophobia to feminist bookstores; plus, Randi shares how Lauren's poly coming out initially triggered a trauma response in her as a direct result of her own past struggles. It's an absolutely one of a kind mother-daughter-pansexual-poly EXTRAVAGANZA!If you'd like to get in touch with Randi, feel free to reach out to her via Lauren at @ludwigmonster on Instagram!

Nicole is in Sweden, so we're taking the week off! But since Lauren is *not* in Sweden, she wanted to briefly hop on the mic to give some alternate listening suggestions, tease next week's very exciting episode, and share the single most lesbian thing she's ever done! Please enjoy all of her lip smacks and "um's" - she had to edit this minisode herself, and has absolutely no idea what she is doing!Links to the other podcast episodes Lauren and Nicole have guested on...The Bechdel Cast:https://open.spotify.com/episode/0cSd7h2JpivuVjZiS1ZZsn?si=yweNSp66SPKTTf-gIdYpjw (Both of us!)Dyking Out:https://open.spotify.com/episode/32CAZqrYD2xffmTuCSd50j?si=ldPZdP6cQ0W4n0MYWcMaIQ (Lauren!)https://open.spotify.com/episode/0mWNpot7QszA9JVdZg3nJ2 (Nicole!)Lez Hang Out:https://open.spotify.com/episode/1xYLVa9PaBfFAf6Gyd5ik1?si=S8G_eMJyRhencnxvKFmzQQ (Nicole!)https://open.spotify.com/episode/7G8LO4KmMLL1com3v1ECyp?si=0APJ3v2qTnWHDHRV25LS-Q (Lauren!)The DTALKS Podcast:https://open.spotify.com/episode/3sFZsAApk7DLHtwVCLIHYE?si=tc0DG4JNQvyTx3Ho0DCIpA (Nicole!)https://open.spotify.com/episode/48QIGnft1aWjfRHNYOaZXj?si=RuDHbJ6uQaWSYqJHW5GmnA (Also Nicole!)

When she was first on the podcast back in December of 2018, Valentina D'Alessandro had only been in the U.S. for three years, and had been married to her wife Cynthia for just under two. What we did *not* reveal during that episode was the fact that she and Cynthia had also spent the past year trying for a baby. At that point, they were still hopeful, despite a number of emotional, biological, and financial hurdles that they'd already encountered. But after five years of trying absolutely everything they could to conceive, they were forced to come to terms with the fact that it was not meant to be. Valentina shares all aspects of the emotional rollercoaster she's been on for half a decade, and how the grief of infertility led her and Cynthia down the path of fostering. This episode is a beautiful and candid look at what it means to become a family, and we are so grateful to Valentina for sharing such an intimate part of her life.Check out the *fantastic* resource Valentina has created (plus adorable pictures) at @queerfosterfam on Instagram!

Shohreh Davoodi (host of the Conjuring Up Courage podcast) has had a...tumultuous couple of years, to say the least. Raised in the strict, expectation-heavy Baháʼí Faith, Shohreh was always regarded as the "black sheep of the family." But the fact that she was naturally more feminine-presenting meant that her queerness didn't ping for anybody, including herself! Shohreh shares how her slowly-dawning awareness of her sexuality led her to the painful decision to end her marriage, but also guided her to her work as a self-trust coach for queer folks (in Shohreh's own words: "I help people come home to themselves"). We also talk about the importance of taking a break *before* your body forces you to, and Shohreh tells us the MOST lesbian first-date story we have ever heard!Check out Shohreh's website at https://shohrehdavoodi.com/, follow her everywhere at @shohrehdavoodi, and listen to all 133 episodes of Conjuring Up Courage wherever you get your pods! Also, be the first to know when Shohreh's hiatus is over by signing up for her Queer Agenda newsletter at https://shohrehdavoodi.com/subscribe/!

We've got J.P. Der Boghossian (he/they), creator of the Queer Armenian Library and host of the brand new podcast, This Queer Book Saved My Life! J.P. grew up with messaging from his religious Armenian community that AIDS and hate crimes were "divine punishment" for being gay; as a result, he believed well into his twenties that he was going to die young. J.P. walks us through his unexpected brush with mortality, what it means to be a queer Armenian-American, and how he went from never being in a relationship longer than six weeks to becoming part of a polyamorous throuple that's celebrating their eleventh anniversary this year!(TW: discussion of suicide attempt/ideation)Follow J.P. on Twitter and Instagram at @jpderboghossian, and make sure you check out the Queer Armenian Library at https://queerarmenianlibrary.com/ (@readtheQAL on Twitter and Insta)! Also, listen to This Queer Book Saved My Life! at https://thisqueerbook.com/ or wherever you get your pods, and follow them on everywhere at @thisqueerbook!

Kerry Spencer Pray and Jenn Lee Smith met in Affirmation, an organization for LGBTQIA+ Mormons. Kerry had just realized that she was queer; Jenn had been out for longer, but as an Asian-American, she was struggling with the overwhelming whiteness (not to mention maleness) of the only available queer Mormon spaces. Jenn and Kerry clicked immediately as friends, and Jenn pitched the idea for what would eventually become "I Spoke to You with Silence: Essays from Queer Mormons of Marginalized Genders" (which just sold out during its first week on Amazon!). Kerry and Jenn share the different trajectories their lives have taken since coming out, and we discuss the beauty and freedom of unconventional relationship structures. Plus, Lauren does a live reading of an essay from the book THAT SHE HERSELF IS FEATURED IN! Umm...#FOUNDLAUREN?!Follow Kerry on Twitter at @swilua and on Instagram at @swilua_, and keep up with Jenn on Instagram via @bewilderfilm (or connect with her on Facebook)! You can purchase "I Spoke to You with Silence" at https://uofupress.lib.utah.edu/i-spoke-to-you-with-silence/ or at your local bookstore (or, yes, FINE; also on Amazon). And find links below to a bunch of the things we discussed during the episode!Queer Mormon Witches: https://www.qmwproject.com"Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire" by Lisa M. Diamond: https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Fluidity-Understanding-Womens-Desire/dp/0674032268"The Dilemma of Desire" (feat. Lisa M. Diamond): https://www.sho.com/titles/3509856/the-dilemma-of-desireJenn's short film "Faithful": https://vimeo.com/ondemand/faithfulmormonfilm

We're capping off a fantastic Pride Month with the publisher of DIVA, the world's largest LGBTQIA+ magazine for female-identifying and non-binary people! DIVA has been around since 1994, but Linda Riley became the title's first ever lesbian owner in 2015. She shares the story of how she came out to her mother at fifteen and was offered the choice of "psychiatry" (aka electroshock therapy), or leaving home. Linda promptly left home and school, and what followed were years of her finding and building her queer community; not only in her native London, but also in San Francisco during the AIDS crisis. She describes how activism was intertwined with queer social life in the '80s, and how she ultimately ended up in the magazine industry. Plus, Linda talks trans allyship, founding Lesbian Visibility Week, and her Twitter beef with JK Rowling!Follow DIVA on Twitter and Instagram at @divamagazine, and follow Linda individually on Instagram at @diversityriley, and on Twitter at @lindariley8 (where you can help her fight any future Twitter battles!). Also, as Linda mentioned, DIVA will soon be changing over to a new URL, but for now, check them out and subscribe at https://divamag.co.uk/!

We have a *hilarious* conversation with actor Erica Luttrell (Lost Girl; Salvation; Mayans M.C.), who voices lesbian icon Sapphire on Steven Universe! Back when she was younger, Erica made a point of differentiating between her platonic female crushes (Gillian Anderson) and her non-platonic male crushes (you will genuinely never guess who). But the formative experience of seeing Shakespeare in Love brought up some feelings she could no longer ignore, and kicked off a five-ish year internal struggle with her sexuality. Erica reads some GLORIOUS journal entries from that time in her life, and discusses how she eventually grew to identify as "homoromantic demi-pansexual" (but also just "gay"). Plus, she shares how she *still* gets cast almost exclusively in make-out-with-a-dude roles, even after publicly coming out! WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE, HOLLYWOOD?!?Follow Erica everywhere at @shukrani.

Activist and author Edafe Okporo ("Asylum: A Memoir & Manifesto") is a truly incredible human being. Born and raised in Nigeria when homosexuality was heavily condemned (but not yet criminalized), Edafe hid his sexuality by joining the ministry in college. Though he eventually left to become an activist and work at an HIV/AIDS clinic, everything changed in 2014 when homosexuality was made illegal in his country. Edafe details the harrowing story of how he was attacked by a mob and subsequently fled Nigeria...only to land in a U.S. detention center for months on end as a refugee. He describes the emotional whiplash he experienced going from life-threatening trauma to suddenly having to be "fabulously gay in New York," and how therapy has helped him on that journey. Today, Edafe is THRIVING, and it was an utter joy to talk to him!Follow Edafe everywhere at @edafeokporo. Also, check out his beautiful website (and order his BOOK!) at https://www.edafeokporo.com/.

A Functional Medicine Nurse Practitioner! A Certified Breathwork Meditation Guide! A self-identified "Deep Lez!" Victoria Albina (she/they; Feminist Wellness podcast) was born in Argentina, but by her early teens, her family had immigrated to the greatest state in the union (Rhode Island), and she was secretly attending a "tiny homo support group." Victoria shares how her queer Latina origins led her to the healing work she does with other marginalized folks, and how the #positivevibesonly movement is actually *detrimental* to our mental health. She also leads us in two simple somatic exercises in real time, and we introduce Nicole to the *life-changing* k.d. lang/Cindy Crawford Vanity Fair cover from 1993! Do we keep erroneously referring to it as a Rolling Stone cover from 1992? LOOK, WE WERE FLUSTERED, OKAY??Victoria gives good gram at @victoriaalbinawellness, and you can listen to Feminist Wellness wherever you get your pods. Also, make sure you go to http://www.victoriaalbina.com/comingout to check out the FREE suite of meditations and exercises Victoria created just for our listeners!

It's officially Pride Month, and we're kicking things off with an UN-F$@#!NG-BELIEVABLE guest!! At thirteen years old, Jay Toole (known to all as Super Butch) came home with a flat top hair cut, and was promptly kicked out for good. Jay headed straight for the West Village, and before long, she was taken in by a community of homeless queer kids in Washington Square Park. What followed was over twenty-five years of living on the street, and some of the most amazing stories we have EVER heard on the podcast! It's impossible to do justice to this episode in a blurb, but among other things, Jay discusses the stints she did at the famed Women's House of Detention, and her experience AT THE STONEWALL RIOTS!!! Jay is an indispensable (and *hilarious*) resource for our community, and we cannot emphasize enough what an honor it was to talk to her. Happy Pride, everybody!(TW: passing mentions of sexual assault, but nothing descriptive)You can honest-to-God contact Jay at the number she gave out in this episode! She's also on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Superbutch, and her website is https://www.jaytoole.com/.

Get ready to FEAST YOUR EARS on the Southern drawl of public speaker, advocate, and Lesflicks writer, Sarah-Cate! From living alone by age nine, to bouncing around group homes through her teens, to years spent unhoused as a young adult, Sarah-Cate's story is equal parts devastating and deeply inspiring. And despite living her entire life in very conservative parts of Texas, Sarah-Cate always, *always* made the choice to be out as queer. She explains how she went from life as a homeless young person with zero queer people in her orbit, to managing Lesflicks' Community Amplification Network, traveling the country to advocate for positive representation, and working with LGBTQ youth organizations. Also, Sarah-Cate identifies as aromantic and says she's "not a monogamous creature," and we get all the deets!We've got a whole bunch of stuff for you this episode! Follow Sarah-Cate on Instagram at @s.c.peregrine, and at her *new* Twitter handle (not the one she gives in the ep!), @sarahcaitlin. Read her work at https://www.lesflicks.com/, and check out the Community Amplification Network she manages at https://audience.lesflicks.com/c/hello! Also, the Texas LGBTQ youth org that Sarah-Cate mentioned is https://www.lgbtqsaves.org/. They're located in Fort Worth, but also do things virtually! Lastly, check out Sarah-Cate's fan site, Fleet of Fandoms, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/FleetofFandoms!

Not only is queer relationship coach Liana Griebsch an absolute joy, she is also one of the most SELF-AWARE people we've encountered! By the end of high school, straight-A-rule-follower Liana had already cleared the massive hurdles of accepting her gayness, and coming out to her Mexican Catholic mother. But a series of unsatisfying partnerships in college ultimately led her to a bold declaration: "I'm not entering into any relationship until I actually understand [how to do] this." And thus, a Queer Love and Relationship Coach was BORN! This episode is so valuable for both those in relationships *and* those struggling with being single. Nicole asks about limiting beliefs for ethically non-monogamous folks! Lauren asks about being alone! Liana gives us tools to help us be gentle with ourselves! It's an enlightening and uplifting conversation.Follow Liana on Instagram at @lianagriebsch, and check out her incredibly comprehensive website at https://lianagriebsch.com/!

Strap in and strap-on for this VERY HORNY EPISODE!! Unflinchingly-authentic comedian and actor Abe Farrelly (Curb Your Enthusiasm; Netflix Is A Joke Fest) is back as our first ever post-transition guest! Abe discusses how his standup - which used to lean heavily on the butch lesbian jokes - was "a big tell" when it came to realizing he needed to transition, and how he sees comedy as an opportunity to educate audiences without lecturing them. He also shares the beautiful ways in which his parents have adjusted to his new identity, and how his 89-year-old, Catholic Mass-attending grandmother has become his biggest supporter! Plus, Abe reveals all of the surprising changes he has gone through since starting testosterone (spoiler alert: no tree stump is safe, and Rob Lowe is the only person who can make him cry).Follow Abe on Instagram at @abfarrelly, and on TikTok at @abefarrelly!

Actor, writer, and VO artist Lisa Cordileone heard "no" so many times that it prompted her to create her own work, which led to the lesbian web series Easy Abby and the feature Freelancers Anonymous! But while Lisa's queer life away from home was thriving, the time she spent with her family back in North Carolina was radically different. Lisa gets candid about her lifelong journey with shame, and how it was impacted by the fact that her parents took a long time to come around. She also spills her plans to create "a Marvel Universe for women in STEM," and we go on a Queer Elder (TM) mini-rant about how WE HAVE TO KNOW OUR HISTORY!!!Follow Lisa on Instagram at @lisa.cordileone, and watch Easy Abby at https://watch.revry.tv/details/30205 and Freelancers Anonymous at https://www.freelancersanonymousmovie.com/!

We've had a number of asexual-identified guests on the podcast, but for the first time ever, we are thrilled to be speaking to an asexual couple! Courtney and Royce (who go by "The Ace Couple" online) are about to celebrate eight years of marriage. They share how they each came to understand their asexuality prior to meeting, and regale us with their UNFATHOMABLY cinematic love story! We also answer listener questions concerning the ace spectrum, and Courtney and Royce describe what intimacy - which is *not* synonymous with sex! - looks like for them. Plus, we dig into attraction vs. action, asexuality vs. no/low libido, graysexuality, and much more! It's a fascinating episode that speaks to *all* manner of relationships!There are so many ways to keep up with Courtney and Royce online! Check out www.theacecouple.com for their podcast (including transcripts and closed captioned eps on YouTube!), and follow them on Twitter at @The_Ace_Couple. If you're part of the a-spec community and would like to participate in their "A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism" discord channel and/or Zoom book club, you can hear all of the details and get the links in the April 6th episode of their podcast (entitled "New Community Project Announcement! A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism"). Lastly, you can check out the interviews that Courtney conducted with disabled members of the a-spec community at https://aceweek.org/stories/why-i-m-founding-disabled-ace-day. And make sure you follow The Ace Couple on Twitter to find out how they'll be celebrating Disabled Ace Day in October of this year!

Ben Siemon is an animation writer at Disney, and he loves his job. But when the infamous "Don't Say Gay" bill was on its way to becoming law in Florida and Disney didn't come out against it (AND was revealed to have donated to the politicians behind it), Ben got upset. So upset, in fact, that one day last month he made a video explaining why Disney's silence was dangerous in general, and hurtful to the company's LGBTQ employees specifically. Ben's video ended up going viral, prompting other Disney writers and actors to speak up as well. Within several days, Disney's CEO had issued a statement. Ben helps us wade through Disney's complicated history with the queer community, and provides some insight as to what we can do when a company we love is causing harm. Plus, he tells us how his own coming out collided with a NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE!Follow and help amplify Ben on Twitter at @BenjaminJS, and watch his *hilarious* Barbie doll brunch videos at @brunchtheseries on TikTok!

Nicky Endres (they/she; Hulu's The Dropout) contains so many intersecting identities that they've come up with a comprehensive way to introduce themself: "I am an adopted, Asian-American, non-binary, transfeminine, queer actor, comic, voice artist, and audiobook narrator." How's THAT for a mic drop?? Growing up with white parents in a small town in Wisconsin, Nicky was aware of the ways in which their identity didn't fit the mold, and actually embraced this from the word go. In an extremely thought-provoking conversation, we discuss the expansiveness of the umbrella term "trans," and the inherent power that comes from abandoning the illusion of certainty and simply admitting "I don't know." Also, Nicky blesses us with the A+ phrase "a Schrödinger's cat of gender" -- PUT IT ON A T-SHIRT!Find all things Nicky at www.nickyendres.com, and follow them everywhere at @mxnickye.

It's International Asexuality Day, and we're absolutely thrilled to have on activist, model, and writer, Yasmin Benoit! Throughout school, Yasmin was constantly singled out by the other girls for not being Team Edward *or* Team Jacob (it was 2009, y'all). When she learned about asexuality online, Yasmin immediately identified with it, but when she tried to come out, she found herself consistently met with the ever-popular "but you don't *look* asexual." Yasmin shares the factors (including race) that led her to create #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike, and explains how she eventually felt it was also necessary for her to come out as aromantic. Plus, Yasmin tells us all about how she collaborated with Stonewall UK to create the UK's first ever asexual rights project, which launches TODAY!Follow Yasmin on Twitter and Instagram at @theyasminbenoit, and check out her writing and her INCREDIBLE modeling shots at https://www.yasminbenoit.co.uk/! And to learn all about the Stonewall x Yasmin Benoit Ace Project, go to https://www.stonewall.org.uk/stonewall-x-yasmin-benoit-ace-project!

A *Tuesday* release?! WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?!? Our friends at Lez Hang Out, Leigh Holmes Foster (Episode 14) and Ellie Brigida (Episode 91), wanted to share a sneak peek of their upcoming podcast musical, Journey to the Heart, which is crowdfunding through April 27th! Take a listen, and then check out their Indiegogo campaign at bit.ly/supportjourneytotheheart.As for us...we'll see you tomorrow!

Nicole met the gorgeous-inside-and-out Koren Porras (he/they) in a dance class, and the two of them immediately bonded over being bisexual (and "very woo woo"). Koren grew up in the "deep, deep south" of New Orleans and Texas, and found himself othered more for his North African/Native American heritage than for his burgeoning sexuality/non-binary identity. He explains how not fitting into any particular box actually spared him from bullying, and shares how a traumatic loss he experienced at twenty-two prompted him to stop "flying under the radar," and live fully as his true self. We also fangirl over Koren's '90s DiCaprio hair, and discuss the horny music videos that were part of our queer awakenings!Follow/message Koren on Instagram at @koren.siren!

We have a *delightful* time with writer, film analyst, and green-haired swamp queen GODDESS, BJ Colangelo! BJ breaks down the ways in which queerness and the horror genre are intrinsically linked, and details the incredible impact that Chris Sarandon - NOT Susan! - has had on her understanding of attraction. She also shares her experiences as a cis woman married to a trans woman, and discusses reclaiming the word "lesbian" from bad faith actors. Plus, BJ tells us a story SO MIND-BLOWING, we can't even tease it!!!Follow BJ on TikTok (queer sh*t), Twitter (angry queer sh*t and film stuff), and Instagram (very dumb photos) at @bjcolangelo. And check out This Ends At Prom (@thisendsatprom on Twitter and Instagram) wherever you get your pods!

Kelly Whelan is a human trafficking researcher for the UN *and* a former professional ice hockey player who has lived all over the globe! But it was Ukraine specifically that captured her heart; partly because the country and its people figure so prominently into her own coming out story. In fact, Kelly's gradual embracing of her own queerness seemed to run parallel to similar strides Ukraine itself has made in recent years. Now, though, with Russia's invasion, LGBTQ Ukrainians - people whom Kelly knows and loves - are in danger. Kelly not only shares her own story, but lays out simply and clearly what is happening in Ukraine right now, and what it specifically means for the country's queer population. She also provides insight about what we can do beyond donating to help Ukrainian refugees in general, and queer Ukrainian refugees in particular. Слава Україні - Glory to Ukraine!Follow Kelly on Instagram and Twitter at @kellythenomad, and check out the ice hockey organization she founded in Ukraine at forwomenshockeyinukraine.org! And now...a whole bunch of ways you can help:- Nash Mir (gay.org.ua/en/): One of the most prominent LGBTQ activist organizations in Ukraine. They work to educate Ukrainian society about LGBTQ issues, combat stereotypes, and advocate for change.- ILGA-Europe (ilga-europe.org/support-lgbti-people-ukraine): An umbrella organization that has compiled a list of ways to donate and support directly to assist LGBTQ Ukrainians.- The LGBT Asylum Project (lgbtasylumproject.org) and the Transgender Law Center (transgenderlawcenter.org): Both of these orgs provide legal assistance to LGBTQ asylum seekers in the U.S. Contact them for potential ways to host/help.- RUSA LGBT (rusalgbt.com): Mentioned in the episode, an organization of Russian and Russian-speaking queer people living in the United States.- Secure Brittney Griner's Swift and Safe Return to the U​.​S. (chng.it/2HHVJbczK8): Sign and share the online petition created by journalist ​Tamryn Spruill.

We sit down with our first ever Bi+ identified guest, the warm and wonderful Joe Shaw! Joe grew up in a very religious family in Texas (dad was a pastor; Church was part of the Southern Baptist convention; you get it), and got married at twenty-one. He and his wife went on to have two children, but it wasn't until his youngest - a son - was born that Joe realized he had never dealt with his own personal struggles. What followed was a beautiful coming out journey that his wife Amanda not only supported, but actively encouraged! Joe details the coming out/birthday/Pride Month photo shoot they did, and we discuss how toxic monogamy does a huge disservice to bisexual people. Also, the emotional benefits of maintaining your own Bi-cons list!Follow Joe (and reach out to him to get the "cheat codes") at @joeshaw05 on Instagram and @DtalksJoe on Twitter. And don't forget to check out The DTALKS Podcast (@dtalkspodcast everywhere) and After the Encore (@aftertheencorepodcast on Instagram and @ATEncorePodcast on Twitter)!

Kathy Kiger grew up in an Evangelical family in Texas, where gay people were described with words like "abomination" and "contagious." For decades, she walked the path she was expected to: getting married, having children, and unconsciously training herself to just "Christian harder" whenever "the gay would start to come up." It wasn't until last year at the age of fifty that Kathy finally realized she was a lesbian, but, WOW, has she embraced it! She talks about all of the incredible resources she's created for other women coming out later in life, and tells us the best multi-generational coming out story we've EVER heard! Not only that: as someone who is on the ground in Texas, Kathy provides up-close information on the impact of Governor Abbott's hideous anti-trans directive, and lets us know what we can do to help trans kids and their families.Follow Kathy on Instagram at @betterlatethanstraight, and go to https://www.betterlatethanstraight.com/ to check out her blog, sign up for her newsletter, and take advantage of the fantastic resources she's compiled!To help with the situation in Texas, Kathy recommends: https://www.tpride.org/index.php (letter writing campaign), https://www.txtranskids.org/ (list of different trans organizations in Texas), and https://www.outyouth.org/support-for-families (resources and support for Texas trans families, including legal support).To donate directly to the Armed Forces of Ukraine, Nicole recommends: https://bank.gov.ua/en/about/support-the-armed-forces

BOY OH BOY, ARE WE EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE! We're reunited with Episode 9 guest Lauren Ludwig (she/they), who has had some major life-developments since we last spoke! For one thing, they now "identify more aggressively as gender non-binary," but an even bigger development is that Lauren and their husband have opened up their marriage, and are now poly [that sound you just heard was Nicole SQUEALING WITH GLEE]! Lauren and Nicole bond over how similar their poly journeys have been (right down to being side-eyed as the "instigator" by certain friends and family), and discuss how the poly community needs monogamous allies, *not* "saviors." Plus, Lauren fills us in on their FANTASTICALLY-QUEER Netflix short "Heart Shot," which was written by them and directed by their girlfriend!Follow Lauren on Instagram at @ludwigmonster, and absolutely, positively check out "Heart Shot" on Netflix (www.netflix.com/title/81343173, or just search "Heart Shot")!

As you're no doubt aware, there is some *truly* awful legislation making headlines lately. These bills and laws not only severely impede teachers' ability to, well, teach, but also make educators vulnerable to lawsuits for simply talking about race and gender issues in the classroom. It's real Handmaid's Tale stuff. To better examine how dire the situation is, we brought on two *tremendous* queer teachers, B (they/she) and Andie (they/them), who hail from Pennsylvania and Ohio respectively. They candidly discuss what the passage of legislation like Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill would mean for them as educators and individuals. We dive into Critical Race Theory, get real about teacher burnout, and say the word "nefarious" A LOT. Most importantly, we learn how we can support America's teachers at this critical time.Follow (and support by re-posting!) our two amazing guests:B is on Instagram at @betweenunreadlinesAndie is on both Twitter and Instagram at @andie_the_enbyAnd keep track of the proposed legislation in your state and across America with tools like:https://freedomforallamericans.org/legislative-tracker/ (@freedom4allusa everywhere)https://www.equalityfederation.org/ (@EqualityFed everywhere)

We've got award-winning author Mariko Tamaki (DC's "Crush & Lobo"), whose queer YA novel "Cold" just came out this week! Mariko came of age at an all-girls private school in Toronto, and thought her disinterest in boys was just because she was a late bloomer...until she got to university, and discovered Montreal's '90s queer scene. Mariko's story includes being schooled by lesbian elders about the complicated dynamics within the queer community, a moment of desperation when she ABSOLUTELY NEEDED a magazine with Jodie Foster, and a lesbian bar called "Sisters" that hits every trope in the book.Follow Mariko at @marikotamaki on Instagram and Twitter, and look for "Cold" at bookstores everywhere!

In a real lovefest of an episode, we're joined by Nicole's former youth group advisor, Jenn McCalley, who Nicole came out to twenty years ago as a wee baby queer! But that's not all: in true "circle of life" fashion, Jenn is now recently out as a baby queer HERSELF!!! Now a social worker and married mother of two, Jenn realized early in the pandemic that not living her full truth was affecting both her marriage and her mental health. Jenn talks about what it was like to come out as bi at fifty-three, and how - contrary to her fears - doing so has actually helped her to feel even *closer* to her husband. (We highly recommend this episode for anyone coming out while in a relationship!) All this, plus Nicole finally learns the meaning of the term "pillow princess!"

We sit down with Nicole's dear friend and concert-going buddy, Mike Mizwicki! Mike grew up in an Irish Catholic family in Chicago, so suffice to say he was surrounded by an ever-present machismo factor. But even as a child, he could tell from other people's reactions to his behaviors and interests that there was something about him that was "wrong or different." Mike pays homage to Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss (the guiding gay light of his youth), and we talk for the first time about the differences between public vs. private first queer kisses! Also, we get real about what it means to even passively ask your parents for "permission" to come out to extended family.Follow Mike on Instagram at @miz.interpretations!

In a mere twenty-two years on this planet, Regan Aliyah (Club Mickey Mouse) has already forged a career as an actor, rapper, spoken word artist, choreographer, and more! Regan started working professionally at the age of twelve; as a result, she never really focused on herself or her personal life because she felt she had to prioritize her outward-facing persona. She teaches us all about The Lesbian Masterdoc (TM), reveals her cartoon crushes, and tells the *adorable* story of how she met her MMA fighter girlfriend! Also, how she and her mom got to the beautiful place in their relationship that they're at now, despite getting off on the wrong foot when Regan first came out.Check out all things Regan at https://www.reganaliyah.com/, and follow her everywhere at @reganaliyah!

We're joined by Germana Belo, co-writer of the award-winning, *very* sexy and sapphic web series RED, as well as a brand new series that she and Nicole wrote TOGETHER! Growing up in Brazil in the 1980s, Germana feared that the feelings she had for women (especially Brooke Shields...) were a sin, or even a curse. She talks about falling in love with her first therapist at the age of eighteen (classic!), and shares how to this day she often feels like she is "too gay to be bi, and not gay enough to be a lesbian" (also classic, sadly). Plus, we do an in-depth examination of queer storytelling, and Nicole and Germana share some *scintillating* details about their upcoming web series, As Love Goes!Follow Germana on Twitter at @_germana, and on Instagram at @gebelo.Follow "As Love Goes" at @aslovegoes_ on Instagram, and check out their fundraising campaign at www.indiegogo.com/projects/as-love-goes-season-1!

We're starting the year off right with actor/content creator/all-around-joyful-and-hilarious-human-being, Nikki Garza! Nikki explains how she's distanced herself from the term "body positivity" as she's watched it come to mean insecurity in general, as opposed to the actual marginalization of othered bodies. Nikki prefers the term "body confidence," and discusses how so many people are attracted to fat folks...but want to "love you in private" (yes; even ultra-accepting queer people). We also dissect the concept of "sexy ugly," and Nikki beautifully illustrates the difference between straight men and queer women by reading us DMs from her thirst traps!Follow Nikki on TikTok and Instagram at @itsnikki.g, and on Twitter at @itsnikkigarza

You know it, you love it, you can't live without it - it's our third annual LISTENER MAILBAG EPISODE! We had some *great* questions this year, including how to recognize the subtle differences between aesthetic attraction, sexual attraction, and being attracted "to the person," and an epic four-part question about polyamory. Plus, we tackle that tale as old as time itself: why does EVERY queer woman on dating apps want to go on a fu@#ing hike?!? 'Tis the season to hunker down under some blankets and say goodbye to this weird AF year with us, Coming Out Pod style!Looking for some lighthearted queer content to pump into your eyes and ears during our brief hiatus? Check out our ever-evolving queer media list at comingoutpod.com/media! We'll also be posting outtakes from episodes past on our Patreon at patreon.com/comingoutpod.

We hear a raw, inspiring story of survival and resilience from our guest, Stelle. One of eight children, Stelle grew up in an extremely isolated religious cult started by her father in rural Oregon. Among other things, cult life entailed corporal punishment, and teachings that women must submit to their husbands unconditionally. Stelle shares how she managed to free herself, and recalls the point at which she was able to start considering her sexuality. It's a story that is truly unlike any we've heard before.You can follow Stelle on Instagram at @astelleau. If you're interested in the God is Grey interview she discusses in this episode, it can be found on YouTube at https://youtu.be/HTe-El4NjgQ.

We have a beautiful conversation with Lauren's buddy, “Jay,” who tells us the story of his daughter’s coming out, and shares his own experience as a “cis hetero male dad” raising a trans child. At three years old, Jay’s AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) daughter began giving “insistent, persistent, and consistent” signals that she felt she was a girl. Jay discusses what he and his wife observed in their daughter’s development, and speaks candidly about the challenges parents of trans kids face, including the "ticking clock behind big, hard decisions.” We’re so grateful to have had this conversation!Some of the resources Jay mentions in this episode include:“It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book about Gender Identity” by Theresa Thorn “Sex Is a Funny Word” and “What Makes a Baby” by Cory Silverberg TransFamilies.orgThis episode is sponsored by Lorals, the world’s first oral sex panties! Get 15% off your first purchase today at www.mylorals.com with code COP15!

Sexting, libido, and dildos, OH MY! These are just a few of the things we go deep into (you're welcome) with queer sex educator Gabrielle Kassel! It's a *very* uncensored ep of the pod as Gabrielle shares the questions she is most frequently asked in her particular line of work. Gabrielle, who defines sex as "any meaningful act of pleasure," blows our minds by laying out the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire, and discusses how to cultivate an environment where it's easier to talk about the sex you're having. Plus what to do about mismatched libidos, and why you should seriously consider wearing your new dildo around the house while you do chores (roommates allowing)!Follow @gabriellekassel everywhere, and check out "Bad in Bed" wherever you get your podcasts!

Our DMs have been overflowing with a veritable cornucopia of polyamory-related questions, so seeing as tomorrow is Thanksgiving, we thought we'd bring not one, not two, but THREE poly folks to the table to discuss loving in abundance! Morgan (@chillpolyamory) provides peer support for poly folks, and nesting partners Bear & Fifi (@bear.n.fifi) offer intimacy coaching. They were all kind enough to cover topics such as "relationship anarchy," jealousy, "compersion," agreements, scarcity vs. abundance, and what the folks are up to kink-wise in Berlin! Nicole and our guests respond to listener questions, and give tips for first-timers easing into poly. Also, Lauren finally gets all of her monogamous-person questions answered! Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!Follow Morgan on Instagram and TikTok at @chillpolyamory, and check out patreon.com/chillpolyamory! Follow Bear & Fifi on Instagram at @bear.n.fifi, and reach out to them via DM or at bear.n.fifi@gmail.com">bear.n.fifi@gmail.com. Also, check the link in their bio for info about their Conscious Intimacy workshop on Dec. 15th!

It's deeply embarrassing for a queer podcast to go 3+ years without featuring the founder of an animal rescue, but that all ends TODAY! Natalie Garcia lost her dog Maggie Mae in an unthinkable accident, but the tragedy inspired her to create MaeDay Rescue. Eleven years later, MaeDay is one of the most popular rescues in Los Angeles - in fact, it's where Nicole got Dobby! Eventually we manage to pull ourselves away from talking about dogs long enough to dig into Natalie's coming out story, which begins at the tender age of fourteen. Natalie discusses being part of her high school's "popular straight girls group," and how coming out set her off on a different path from those friends. She also shares the VERY dramatic story of reconnecting with her high school girlfriend years later, and the time she and her date found out they were actually related. All this, plus auditory cameos from *several* pets!Follow Natalie on Instagram at @nataliewould, and follow MaeDay Rescue everywhere at @maedayrescue. Also check out @maedayoutpost, and maedayrescue.com!

Get ready to have your pants charmed off (consensually) by James Barnes, aka The Trans Coach! A corporate trainer who specializes in LGBTQ education, James transitioned almost seven years ago, and today has a wife and two small children. But he started out in a family of missionaries, and was groomed from an early age to be a pastor due to his ability to effortlessly connect with people. James shares how the discomfort of house-hunting as a trans person unexpectedly led him to his dream career, how he managed to keep his ample Christian network through both coming out as gay *and* coming out as trans, and how empathy is at the center of everything he does. He also provides some excellent advice for coming out to family, and we discuss why shaking hands is a billion times weirder than saying your pronouns!website: thetranscoach.comsocials: @thetranscoach

In a truly one-of-a-kind episode, we talk to American ex-pat and professional jazz saxophonist(!) Mariela Mulder, who has a very unique set of circumstances: for a harrowing year, Mariela taught in Kuwait, and agreed to speak to us candidly about what it's like to live in a country where it's illegal to be gay. From the queer students and adults who risked coming out to her, to the secret location where "women go to meet each other," Mariela shares it all!Insta: @marielamulderMusic: marielamulder.com

Because the world needs more white cis people sharing their views on Dave Chappelle!!! In all seriousness, we explain up top why it felt necessary to address "The Closer," and how we hope this episode amounts to getting sh*t out of our systems before having a trans guest on to discuss. We share some opinions we KNOW won't be popular! We do some yelling! Lauren mentions Ashlee Marie Preston a billion times! We hope you'll listen.FOLLOW:@ashleemariepreston@hopegiselle@raquel_willis@janayathefuture

It's our most VISUALLY STUNNING episode yet, with a guest whose coming out story spans Maine, Scotland, and Alaska! Eileen Hanley (Crazy Hot: The Podcast) always thought/knew she was bisexual, but internalized biphobia and an eight-year relationship with her boyfriend made her feel like she'd somehow be "lying" if she came out. She tells us about her deliciously awkward first sexual experience with a woman, and explains why EVERYONE is crazy hot! Also, we come up with a fun new nickname for Lauren's boobs!

SURPRISE! It's our annual National Coming Out Day minisode! More and more, we hear folks in our community say that they're "tired" of coming out stories, and would rather see queer people "just living their lives." While we definitely want to see that, too, we not-so-surprisingly think that coming out stories are still ESSENTIAL! We get to the heart of why we so strongly believe this, in addition to talking about celebrities who came out this past year, and some lesser-known coming out moments in media!

We have a mind-expanding conversation with aroace lesbian and mental health advocate, Rebecca Ashley! Rebecca uses the label of "lesbian" in addition to identifying as asexual/aromantic, and one of the first things we discuss is the ostensible contradiction between those terms. Rebecca does an incredible job of shedding light on alllllll the different kinds of attraction *beyond* just sexual and romantic; plus, we dig into squishes vs. crushes, alternate types of life partnerships, and The Golden Girls!

Fawzia Mirza (Her Story; Signature Move) started out as an actor, but soon realized that the roles available to queer, Muslim, South Asian women were not exactly...plentiful. So she began writing her own work, with the goal of centering folks who are all too often just "friends of the center story." We discuss the pressure put on queer female relationships to be EVERYTHING, and the difficulty of having your entire queer identity tied to your very first partner. Also, Fawzia's "Summer of Lesbianism!"

We're closing out Bi Visibility Week with a special ep featuring not one, but *two* of Nicole's BFFs from college! Not only are Nicole, Katie, and Lorelei all bisexual, they're also all in long-term relationships with cis men. They discuss the inherent conflict between passing privilege and erasure, the significance of losing your virginity to a woman when you're a bi woman, and bi myths they'd like to bust. We also talk "bisexual awakening movies," and celebrity couples to whom we'd say a hard YES, PLEASE!

We're joined by one of our all-time FAVORITE facilitators at the L.A. LGBT Center, Maggie Tielker! For the past eighteen months, Lauren and Maggie have been Zoom-facilitating together nearly every Monday night. But at age twenty-seven, Maggie herself went through the Center's Women's Coming Out Workshop! Maggie shares her suspiciously feminine childhood crushes (Hanson, Jared Leto...you get it), the pressure of the "relationship escalator," and her experience with VERY DIRECT queer elders!@maggietielker

We cover some entirely new ground this week in a fantastic conversation with disability advocate AJ Detwiler! AJ lives at the intersection of queer, female, and disabled, but many of her dating experiences have sadly revealed our community to be...less "body-positive" than we'd like to imagine. AJ discusses the pressure she feels to prove her physical autonomy in relationships, and we talk about the huge moment of sexy disabled visibility that occurred just this past weekend on The L Word!@zoominrainbow

Comedian and author Sophie Santos literally wrote a memoir about her coming out story, so needless to say she knows it well! Sophie was the only girl in her middle school's tackle football league, but pulled a super-femme 180 the moment she got her period ("I am now a swan"). She muses on the "copious" amount of men she slept with while in an Alabama sorority to try to convince herself she was into dudes (spoiler: she wasn't), the summer at Wellesley that changed her life, and whether or not she's "futch."

We dyke out with Melody Kamali, comedian and co-host of one of our favorite podcasts, Dyking Out! Melody shares the pivotal moment she had with *that* scene in True Lies, talks about getting "heterocurious" in her early 20s, and discusses the flack she's gotten for claiming the word "dyke" as someone who identifies as bi/pan. Plus, we get pumped about queer Persian representation in The L Word and beyond, and muse over what straight girls masturbate to! Let us know, straight listeners!!@melodykamali

The podcast hits an important milestone when we talk to our first EX-NUN! Kelli Dunham dropped out of Bible college in the late '80s and went to Haiti to volunteer at a school. However, she ended up volunteering at a Haitian missionary instead, which ultimately led her to join the Missionaries of Charity, an especially strict order (even by Catholic standards!). Now a comedian, Kelli regales us with stories of her former life, including the steps that convents take to discourage "nun-on-nun action."

Hey. Hi. How're you doing? Feeling a bit stressed? Maybe a tad overwhelmed? Wow, that's so crazy; us, too! Haha!! HahahahAHAHAHA!!!! With everything that's been going on...everywhere, we thought we'd take the opportunity to do a li'l mental health check-in: just the two of us, sitting in our respective closets, getting candid about how we've been feeling lately. We both come out about some big mental health decisions we've recently made in our own lives, talk Simone Biles, and more.You're doing great :)

We have a powerful conversation with Julie Rodgers, author of "Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story," who is featured in the just-released Netflix documentary Pray Away. Shortly after coming out at the age of 16, Julie's mother took her to meet with someone from Living Hope Ministries. What followed were weekly conversion therapy sessions for the next eight years. Julie discusses the irony of finding queer community in a conversion group, her current relationship to faith, her wife and cats, and more!

We get *candid* about what turns us on in this week's episode with Nikki Levy, creator and host of the Don't Tell My Mother! podcast and live show! Nikki's story begins with a split-second moment in eighth grade that changed everything, then continues down a long and winding road that includes a first kiss with a girl named "Fish," and a threesome with a future rabbi. ARE YOU SUFFICIENTLY TEASED?? Also, how Nikki's mom went from total denial to regularly calling into her daughter's queer af podcast!

We absolutely adore speaker, author, and host Raga Olga D'silva, whose warmth and positivity will literally BLEED THROUGH YOUR HEADPHONES! Raga discusses the surprising way in which sexuality and gender are thought of in patriarchal Indian culture, and the impact that has had on her. She also talks about realizing she was a lesbian when she was married with two young children, her close-knit community's reaction, and the important distinction of martyrdom vs. nurturing. Plus: Bollywood!@totallyoutnow

For the first time ever, we're having a guest back on to give us an update about their evolution, and the hot takes are FLYING! A lot has changed since Daisy Eagan (Episode 5) was on the pod during this *exact* same week in 2018: for one thing, Daisy still identifies as queer, but she's recently embraced the term "non-binary female." She's also become a doula, and her relationship status is...unexpectedly different. Daisy brings us up to speed, as we tackle some hot-button issues within the community!

We're deviating a bit from our format today with Dr. Regina Baker, a surgeon at the Keck School of Medicine of USC. But Dr. Baker isn't just any surgeon: gender affirming surgery specifically constitutes at least 50% of her practice! Dr. Baker details the full process of transitioning, from that first moment of "I don't feel right in this body" to when surgery may (or may not) enter the picture. She also clears up some common misconceptions, explains blockers vs. hormones, and BLOWS OUR MINDS about nipples!

We're closing out Pride Month with Lauren's old Wild 'N Out castmate, Chaunté Wayans! Chaunté (who is indeed from *that* Wayans family) identifies as a stud, and says of women, "They would be my definition of what home is like, when they're not super-crazy." In terms of her stand-up, Chaunté has always aimed to "change the game" for queer people...even if that sometimes means unintentionally offending the queer community. We discuss the pushback she's received, and spill some Wild 'N Out tea!@cwayan

Our Pride Month extravaganza continues with the fabulous Fortune Feimster of The Mindy Project, Chelsea Lately, and much more! Fortune identifies first and foremost as "A lady!" and says "I'm a little daintier on the inside than people realize." In true lesbian fashion, her story includes a gay softball league, a Chinese restaurant, and a Lifetime movie called "The Truth About Jane." Fortune shares how coming out informed her comedy, and how people now use her Netflix special to come out to *their* parents!

Hot on the heels of our "Flirting & Dating" episode, we sit down with queer dating coach Ariella Serur and ask her YOUR burning questions! Ariella bases her coaching on transparency, kindness, generosity, curiosity, and fun, and offers advice on questions like "What should I do if I'm freaking out on a date?!" She also discusses where to meet potential romantic partners, and talks about how and when to disclose...whatever it is you're nervous about disclosing! All this, and MUCH more!@queerdatingcoach

Pride continues with the goddamned hilarious E.R. Fightmaster, who plays NON-BINARY ICON Em on Hulu's Shrill! E.R. (who identifies as "a huge dyke") grew up in '90s Ohio, where gay people were regarded as "kind of mentally ill." They regale us with a high school enemies-to-lovers story so heart wrenching, it's worthy of a YA novel, and share how their present-day confidence was hard-won. We also discuss the idea of labels we "can't" call ourselves, and why you should *always* make the basketball team spoon.

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, Y'ALL!!! We thought we'd do something a little different this week and kick off Pride with an episode wholly devoted to the number one question we hear from our community: "How do I meet/flirt with/date other queer peeps???" We cover it all, from dating apps (which are the best?!) to IRL interactions (what should I say?!), and everything in between! We share our strategies and personal experiences, talk signalling/flagging, and much, much more! LET'S GET PRIDE MONTH STARTED!

Non-monogamy advocate Michelle Hy (@polyamorouswhileasian) began practicing polyamory in 2012 at nineteen years old, before the term was even in the mainstream lexicon! She talks about how she made the choice to become the visible representation she couldn't find, and offers her theories as to why poly seems to have a reputation for being "white people sh*t." We also dissect the concept of the relationship escalator, and discuss how so many rom-coms feel like they actually want to be poly!