What else do you need to know? I'm back post-punch and am uploading this soooo late because life is crazy. But you know what's also crazy? How funny and cool MARISSA GOLDMAN is!! Yes we're talking anxious puking yes we're talking migraines yes the body continues to keep the score. Plus: "Super Sex", weed nights, and so much more!

Follow Marissa on instagram here: @themediawitch_

Weeee're back with a normal episode! Only trauma in THIS one is the formative identity stuff! Classic CC for ya. Though someone DOES get beat up. This week I'm so thrilled to have writer/comedian/filmmaker extraordinaire Niles Abston on the pod! We're talking young crushes, growing up in a small town in the South, fitting into a predominantly white school, the Athlete Identity, dating a misfit cheerleader, the confusion of completely different church experiences, the pastor track, and soooo much more!

Donate to his film fundraiser here! : https://seedandspark.com/fund/98honda#story

Watch his special here! :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=I_R1nfULF_uIZz4d&v=J3JOUtnGqzs&feature=youtu.be

And despite my tone, I am being serious!

TW: public assault, blood, discussion of drug use and overdose

I tried my best to be as candid as possible about some stuff I'm still processing, as they say...but I hope this can all be an ongoing conversation, and I hope we can figure some stuff out together? Ultimately I hope we can love each other enough to challenge the way we've been taught to relate...And to recognize who and what benefits from an unending cycle of violence. Safety is a relationship between people, and it cannot be realized by a system built on the oppression of those people.

<3

Links:

The Secret, Silent Echo Of An Overdose by Alan Hanson:

https://takesurfacestreets.substack.com/p/the-secret-silent-echo-of-an-overdose

Alan's substack: https://takesurfacestreets.substack.com/

More writing: https://muckrack.com/alan-hanson/articles

This week I’m thrilled to have miss LILY REED on the podcast! We’re talking all the health/relationship updates before getting into Lily’s crush history! This ep’s got it all:  G-g-g-gay thoughts, armpit hair public humiliation, Mischa Barton aspirations, being thrust into sexuality amidst a culture of non-consent and pressure , macaroni dates, looking for your Ezra Koenig and settling for Smoker Boy, when feminism meant being like boy, Rebecca's jealous history, obsessive control and first date micromanagement, body image, sexual identity and orientation, avoiding uncertainty, self diagnosis, self love, and sooooooo much more! We’re going through it but we are also distinctly working it out. Get into it. 

You can follow Lily on all platforms at: @bonesauce94

Today I'm SO glad to be joined by my sister in depression and hilarious hottie, Rachel Coster! What's up with being 27 in 2023 and feeling mentally unhinged?? We get into it!! Also- Rachel's mile a minute crushing history, finding a spin on anyone, being a weirdo, being horny, handling rejection, yes, older men of course, the responsibility of love, accidental (?) sex presh from your mom, Rachel proves my longstanding theory that going to London solves crushing woes (they love a rude girl innit), why is it literally high school right now and SORRY if I talked about this last time, discovering you're young and hot and can do whatever, falling in love with yourself and finding your way BACK to yourself. In this ep we are SOWING SEEDS okay? For our health.

Follow Rachel on insta at: @rachelcoster

Stream Outdoor Lover!!

CLASSROOM CRUSH HAS LOGGED BACK ON, STUDENTS!! Join me in the chat with fellow multifaceted Cuban, comedian, your mans and mines, Julian Hernandez!! We’re coming in hot and spicy with the first gen Cuban complexes and hearts full of sweet sweet (oft misguided) love. Julian is telling me all about self fulfilling white girl prophecies, denial of self, putting yourself out there at all costs, (cw!) high school eating disorder and bad dad advice, being hard on yourself, conditional love, power dynamics, self realization, being enough and being REAL, bro. Just kinda an insane banger of an episode if you ask me. Love yourself.

Check out Julian's solo show at Littlefield in BK 5/30: https://littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_eb_id=627134926447

aaand in LA at The Yard 6/2: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/jooby-a-variety-show-done-by-just-one-guytm-tickets-627407331217

(We The Best) MUSIC:

Change Your Mind - The Killers

Romeo + Juliet - The Killers (Dire Straights cover)

Why Bother? - Weezer

Hello class, just a little update for you. I love you all (in an appropriate way) and thank you for listening and bearing with me. Talk soon :) 

Wow wow I laughed so much doing this episode which I mean, duh, because it's Dylan Adler on the show!!! I had the absolute pleasure of talking to Dylan about his most formative, lowkey life long crush - a forever cool guitar guy marching to the beat of his own drum type whose name HAS been bleeped so this episode sounds very explicit even though it's actually just SWEET like the crush HIMSELF!! Though we do mention jacking it so I guess that's explicit in a way. We're talkin': being a twin and early 2000s twin culture, The Body Keeps The Score to The Artist’s Way pipeline, when you’re the High School Musical drama teacher but you're a child, having no chill, being both horny for and kinda jealous of your crush, demanding your mom gets you new white T shirts so you can be cool, jacking off in the bathroom stalls in high school, an UNEXPECTED and THRILLING app moment, comfort and familiarity, Rebecca tries to rewrite Dylan and crush's history but ultimately...who can never be sure...is it a hello? or a hello...you know? Listen and decide for yourself!! 

Follow Dylan on Twitter at: @DylanAdler6 and go to his solo show on 8/29 at Littlefield! Tickets here

Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush

MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE:

Here, There And Everywhere - The Beatles

This week we’re celebrating sweet summer loveee with comedian and 1/3rds of Shrimp Boys, Wyatt Fair!! Wyatt claims to not be a good story teller but he’s wrong because I was floating completely luxuriating on this ride…We’re talkin: a meeting at the movies, when 2 best friends date 2 best friends, a texting competition(?), body image in sweaty cities, writing love notes, confidence, different schools? = long distance, tucking feelings away, an absolutely SPECIAL and STEAMY reunion, comedic chemistry, sensitivity, and so much more!!

Follow Wyatt on Twitter and Letterboxd at: @WyattFair

Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush

MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE:

Lover I Don’t Have To Love - Bright Eyes

Ohio Is For Lovers - Hawthorne Heights

The Recluse - Cursive

This week it’s an absolute instant classic ep with Caroline Ely of Good Christian Fun fame!! You know it’s an instant classic because the girlie brought NOTES from the SECRET COMPARTMENT of her voice activated safe locked DIARY chronicling her every crush. We get into the juicy ones as we discuss: longing and fantasy, formative old Hollywood film romance, placing 3rd in crush ranking, Christian upbringing and absolute grinding shame, a grad night to remember and a boy’s name to forget, yeahhh we’re takin it to the splash zone for a school field trip, girl bullies, why do people always TELL about the CRUSH, a flirting style so unique it doesn’t work, and soooooo much more. I love Caroline and I love this episode. Oh yeah also Poison Ivy Era is over but it’s NOT what you think….don’t worry we spend about 10 minutes up top talking about my skin. Subscribe to the patreon below for all the action ;)

Follow Caroline on Twitter at: @CarolineFarts and listen to Good Christian Fun!

Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel

Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush

MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE:

On The Street Where You Live - Nat King Cole