a.k.a. 'kidnapper ants'
Actual scientist NEIL TSUTSUI is here, and he's a *professor* at *UC Berkeley* and he agreed to be on this show, so. We're kind of a big deal now. He's an entomologist, and he's here to genuinely educate you about the polyergis ant! They're crafty little sneakers, and their lifestyle is fascinating. Stay for the ant facts, stay for hearing a scientist get SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE being forced to anthropomorphize an animal.
a.k.a. 'sparkle spits' and 'ocean hankies'
Special guest MEG ELISON is back and she's here talk the many and terrible caves of the world, but especially those that glow! We talk vomit nets, sparkle times, and ALSO Giant Oceanic Manta Rays! It's a lot. And you don't know Elsa, maybe she DID make her ice palace with vomit.
a.k.a. ‘the pissed off placoderm, the destroyer of the devonian, the razor-jawed murder fish from hell, the CLEVELAND CLEAVER’
We're covering our very first *extinct* animal, with paleontologist and special guest LEE HALL! So naturally, we go for the murderfish. We talk armored faces, shark relatives and also-- improbably-- trees.
a.k.a. ‘steely garden tube’ and ‘bum bum breather’
Self-proclaimed: "very important scientist," JENNIFER LAUGHRAN is back and she's more scientific than ever! We talk about worms that are not worms and turtles that exist on only ONE river in the world. It's about to get reptilian AF up in here, so strap in.
a.k.a.‘mind control poop worms’ and 'family reunion black belters'
It's opposite day on Drunk Safari, with two animals that are so different it seems bonkers to talk about them on the same episode. Official co-host and mustache wearer ADAM WOLF is back to talk about the parasites that make us go cat-person CRAZY and also, African Elephants. As you do.
a.k.a. ‘misandry zombies’ and ‘something is wrong it’s time to go to the OBGYN discharge fish’
Oh girl. Someone had to cover them, and we're very pleased to report that it is civil rights labor attorney REBECCA LEE who has taken on the task of defending praying mantises. We talk obscure, medieval art and also MURDER. Also discharge. We got a lot done that day, and honestly I'm very proud of both of us.
a.k.a. 'stretchy mcspotface'
Cheetah biologist ANNE HILBORN is here to *actually* educate us! We talk about the world's fastest runner, their weird distended full bellies, their bromances, and also why you should NEVER KEEP ONE AS A PET, c'mon guys, serious. Stoppit.
a.k.a. ‘snappies’ and ‘undersea pooptubes’
IVAN HERNANDEZ IS BACK and he's here to shine a light on another terrible undersea creature. It's all invertebrates ALL the time this episode with pistol shrimp, warty sea cucumbers and other things you probably don't want to make out with.
a.k.a. `wobble puppies` and `economy camels`
Humanity's greatest achievement, JOE WADLINGTON, is back! And he's here to tell you all about Tennessee Fainting Goats. We talk about goats who love being goats, Backwoods Barbie, what is too many tote bags and also Dolly Parton. You know. The good stuff.
a.k.a. ‘urban ranchers’ and ‘murder rainbows’
Science journalist, cohost of the Our Opinions Are Correct Podcast, editor-at-large for Ars Technica, founder of i09, author of Autonomous, ANNALEE NEWITZ, is here to talk about the scourge of your kitchen, the Argentine Ant! We're all about the invertebrates with these terrible ants and the worlds' *worst* worm.
*Actual scientist* SARAH MACNAULTY is here to tell us all the T on cephalopods! She listened to our previous cephalopod episode, EVERY OCTOPUS A WIZARD, and is here with some corrections, some amazing information about Australian Giant Cuttlefish, her squid of choice-- the Hawaiian Bobtail Squid-- and also when you should use the term tentacles.
a.k.a. ‘buzz balls’ and ‘drought resistant snake-hoppers’
ADAM WOLF is back to talk about the world's smallest bird. We talk hyper adapted rodents and weensy, adorable birds. Fist fights are won all around. The Artist Formally Known as Prince makes an appearance.
a.k.a. 'calm downs' and 'leave me alone rats'
Special guest SARAH GAILEY is a Hugo Award Nominee and ALSO a cone snail scientist! We talk animals whose defense mechanisms are, like, probably a bit much. Cone snails are hella venomous. Porcupines have bad body odor, and also too many quills.
a.k.a. 'Italian mammoths' and 'deep water horror eels'
Cohost of the Boars, Gore and Swords and Bunker Politics RED SCOTT is back! And he's full of probably smelly information about oxen that look like wooly mammoths but probably smell worse. We talk animals that live in foreboding environs, the snowy tundras and the deep, deep, deeeeeeeep ocean.
a.k.a. ‘death stabbers’ and ‘invasive tree colonizers’
Special guest BARUCH PORRAS HERNANDEZ is here to ruin woodpeckers forever. We talk murder birds, monogamous rodents and unwelcome intrusions everywhere.
a.k.a. ‘skin-divers’ and ’nosferatu finches’
ADAM WOLF is back to talk REAL LIFE VAMPIRES, both insect and avian. Because listen, some animals are jerks, that's just that. Adam talks ticks, which are disgusting, and Maggie's all about the booby-harassers, also known as Vampire finches.
a.k.a. 'satan's pop rocks' and 'bait and switch kangaroos'
Special guest, LAUREN O'NEAL, is here to remind you that ants in your pants is actually a *grave medical issue* that should not be taken lightly, with an overview on the world's jerkiest ants. We talk animals un-defeatable, and adorable, with fire ants and quokkas.
a.k.a. 'badass bitchsnake' and 'armored aggressive asshole'
All the animals are jerks in this newest episode of Drunk Safari, with special guest KELLY ANNEKEN! We talk hating men, taking care of ourselves, and also snakes that grow nearly 5 feet long and hunt you in the night. Also, the important issue of animal farts: cute or terrible?
a.k.a. 'apex forest masters' and 'happy heterosexual peacock monkey'
Maggie and special guest ADAM WOLF contemplate divorce after a foray into crytozoology. We talk animals that may or MAY NOT exist, and also Mandrills, the world's most colorful mammals.
a.k.a. 'Kinky Leatherwings' and 'Stupid Stinging Sea Nettle'
We're back, with two strange creatures. One's 50% wing and wang. The other is 95% water. Special guest, JENNIFER LAUGHRAN, puts on her flying fox scientist hat, and takes it off only briefly to wonder about Bear Grylls and his potential pee fetish. We sort our animals into Hogwarts houses.
a.k.a. 'Fuzzy Butt McNosey Sauce' and 'Self-Care Patronus'
We're 100% ADORABLE in today's Drunk Safari, with extra special guest, MARI NAOMI! We talk wombats and their butt-centric lifestyles, and also more about the movie Sirens than you'd probably guess. We also talk about the world's strangest animate pine cones, the pangolin!
a.k.a. ‘murdersaurus’ and ’sneaksy jerk gothmoth’
Special guest and creepy thing connoisseur, GABY MOSS, is here to talk alligators and deaths head hawk moths! We talk gothy kids, and kids who should probably be more afraid than they are on this very creepy, very unnerving episode.
a.k.a. 'nightmare sausage beasts' and 'scrappy murder pups'
We're BACK and we're more carniverous than ever, with two extremely proficient murderers. Special guest ADAM WOLF tells you everything you need to know about the 6 in nightmares that are weasels, and we also cover Coyotes, who may or may not be like Kardashians.
a.k.a. 'swimming football dolphins' and 'kitsune, kinda'
It's an accidentally festively colored episode of Drunk Safari, with special guest WONDER DAVE! We learn strange and magnificent things, like how gigantic sea turtles get and also that Wonder Dave used to work in an aquarium as a lazily named mascot. All this and MORE on a very adorable episode!
a.k.a. 'pillar of society beastos' and 'cold war junk birds'
Special guest ADAM WOLF is here to learn your face off about some farm animals, and also he's got opinions. We're all barnyard all the time this episode, with meat animals great and small, but mostly delicious.
a.k.a. 'grippy boys' and 'the rightful heirs to the earth'
Special guest and Hugo Award nominee, writer, SARAH GAILEY is here! She's two experts for the price of one, as a hippo AND chameleon scientist. We talk centiliters of sass, chameleon monocles (!!!) and why we just don't support Greg. Or Ross.
a.k.a. 'fun buns' and 'mythological masculinity unicorn'
Special Guest and cohost of The Binge Movie Podcast, JASON LEROY is here to talk about butts. Okapi butts, mostly, but also butts at large. Also buttholes. We talk about teeth that should not be and deeply overattentive mothers in this very special okapi and narwhal educational podcast.
a.k.a. 'buttercup' and 'uteruses before duderuses whale'
Special guest and legal representative for Lemony Snicket, DANIEL HANDLER, is here to put the scare in you about moray eels, which are coming for you. Yes, you. To kill you. In case that wasn't clear. Maggie praises sperm whales, as well you should.
a.k.a. 'small mouthed rape fish' and 'hash-tag lagoon life bird'
HOW WELL CAN YOU SING THE INTRO TO DRUNK SAFARI? Maggie can sing it pretttttttyyyyyyyy well, even if special guest, ADAM WOLF, begs to differ. We teach you every goddamn thing you need to know about hammerhead sharks and flamingos. Also Adam believes in vampires. Like, really.
a.k.a. 'venomous vixens' and 'delicious snot bugs'
Special guest MEG ELISON is here to make you unafraid of some spiders who could probably kill you? Anyway, her voice is like honey and she's probably got bigger balls than you. We also talk about Maggie's favorite food, I mean animal, I mean bug. Basically it's a bug. Related pro tip: If you have a vagina, never date a person who won't eat oysters.
a.k.a. 'invincible claw-beasts' and 'trashcan bandits'
Special guest Adam Wolf has a weird puma boner, which is to say he's obsessed with pumas, and thinks they're better than you. Maggie talks about everyone's favorite pest, the friendly raccoon. Adaptability is had all around.
a.k.a. 'penultimate squid' and 'subaquatic creepy hugger'
Writer, co-host of the Boars, Gore and Swords and Bunker Politics podcasts, and baking thirst trap Instagram account holder, IVAN HERNANDEZ is our very special guest for this ALL CEPHALOPODS ALL THE TIME episode! We talk Mads Mikkelsen and other strange and frightening things you'd consider making out with but wouldn't want to sneak up on you, which is to say, we talked about Giant Squids and the Giant Pacific Octopus.
a.k.a. 'scourge sneaks' and 'make love not war monkeys'
Special scientist ADAM WOLF is back to discuss the rattus rattus. Maggie presents bonobos, the monkeys so pure that Earth does not deserve them. The bubonic plague is spread. Lots of oral sex is had. By bonobos.
a.k.a. 'dorks' and 'magnificent toxic masculinity boulders'
Maggie is joined by very special guest, cohost of the Red All Over and Failure to Launch podcasts, MOLLY SANCHEZ! We talk Giraffes and Galapagos Tortoises, and give you all the information you could possibly require to wow your friends at your next cocktail party. Assuming, of course, that your friends are very interested in strange, long necked animals.
a.k.a. 'lobstrosities' and 'lazy tree kangaroos'
What do Koalas and American lobsters have in common? Not that much, actually, other than some weird mating habits. ADAM WOLF talks about the Earth's most delicious arthropod. Maggie reps some real lazy, chlamydia ridden marsupials. All this and more on your most favorite and most educational podcast.
a.k.a. 'clever girls' and 'human birds'
Co-host of Boars, Gore and Swords and Bunker Politics podcasts RED SCOTT is our very special guest! He teaches Maggie everything she needs to know about the world's most judgemental bird, the Ostrich. Maggie talks pigeons, who are gross.
a.k.a. 'good lord garbage birds' and 'vagina dentata goal fishes'
a.k.a. 'nectar professionals' and 'dire witch cats'
a.k.a. 'mother-f*king dinosaurs' and 'ornery river pigs'
Welcome to the world's premier, high class animal facts podcast full of information that's like, probably true? This week we learn everything you could possibly need to know about Komodo dragons and hippopotamuses. Everything. You. Ever. Need. To. Know.
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