Open wide and come inside! For this Patch, we've each written a new catchphrase that we'll drop into the episode at an appropriate time (and by appropriate time, we mean somewhere in the first 10 minutes because we were all too excited to hold on to them).

Christian asks Josh and Dion to be a sounding board about a prank played on his friend's mum. We then wonder, who are pranks for? Are they ever funny? Is a prank just 'accessible bullying'? Josh tries to find an example of a harmless, good prank.

Christian then recalls a profound comment made by a friend about sleep which kicks off a big discussion around how we each interact with sleep. We first talk about the very notion of trying to fall asleep and then Christian and Josh openly discuss how they actively try to repress any thought whatsoever throughout the day. What aids do you need to fall asleep? Do you wake up during the night? Dion then asks Josh and Christian about how they manage sleeping in bed with someone else before declaring a pillow between the knees a 'deal maker'. Christian then tries to counsel Dion on how to be an effective stomach sleeper but he's a little more worried about his Venetian blind eyelids. 

Finally, Josh is pulled up by his partner for eating chips weirdly and we ask the question, how do you eat chips? Is it one at a time with a chew and swallow? Is it an endless chip parade with chewing and swallowing interspersed when your mouth gets too full? Or is it a gorilla fist of chips that you work your way through? We then inspect how we approach fingers dusted with chip seasoning. 

We also play Deserted Island (Work Meetings)

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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Josh is woken up by the incessant banging of some tradesmen and Christian and Dion wonder whether this could be improving Josh's life. We then discuss why tradies need to start work so early?

Christian then tells Josh and Dion about feeling relief about an upcoming event being cancelled. He sees the night now as 'free' and able to be reclaimed as a night off - Josh and Dion think the right course of action is to plan a different night out with the same group who would have attended the event. Oh my! What will the Patchwork boys say next?! Josh then complains about his friends no longer coming to gigs that start at 3 in the morning. We then discuss our feelings towards an impromptu venue change and posit, is there a point of diminishing returns when spending time with friends?

Have you inadvertently stolen anything and enjoyed the benefits of your theft? Josh recalls accidentally stealing a hand towel from a hotel and then Christian admits to A LOT of theft - especially from Virgin Active. We then talk about taking the frill neck lizard soaps from hotels and Josh literally says the words "Jacobean ruff". Dion then ponders, is there anything you do that makes you feel like a good person? Giving blood? Picking something up that someone else dropped? Mowing your neighbours lawn?    

We also play Horrorscopes and Really Good

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Josh calls out Dion for asking a friend to hotspot internet so he could top up his phone credit, Dion vehemently tries to defend himself by revealing that he actually purchased his sim card from a supermarket. It becomes clear that no one is right and we've wasted each others time and energy; much like all the Welcome to Patchwork episodes.

Christian went to his cousin's 30th and his only take away from the evening was, how long can you make someone holding a platter wait while you take food from it? And further, how many items can you take from that platter? Dion takes aim at sushi served on a platter and we discuss what makes a 'good' finger food? Josh loves a single mouth full, Christian loves things in containers, Dion just loves slides. Are you concerned about where you're positioned in the room relative to the finger food? Do you often take the final item on a tray to help the waiter? 

To close the episode, it's Josh and Dion vs Christian in a battle royale about whether you should leave kitchen utensils sitting in a holder on top of the kitchen bench? Josh and Dion believe it's handy for grabbing utensils in a pinch. Christian doesn't believe the use case happens enough to warrant dirtying the kitchen landscape. Finally, Christian pushes his case for using tea towels... and FIGHT!  

We also play Deserted Island and do a bit of a Sound Check

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Christian kicks off this episode by wishing himself an early happy birthday and then asks Dion and Josh how they feel about receiving 'happy birthday' messages before their actual birthday. Does receiving an early birthday message change the sentiment? Or is it the same as receiving it on the day? 

Are you annoyed when someone asks you where the toilets are in a restaurant? This is what Christian confronted Josh with at the Patchwork Christmas Party. What is your system for finding toilets in a restaurant? Do you get anxious? Are you confident in your ability to locate a toilet wherever you are? Do you care if the toilets are nice? Are you good at asking staff for help wherever you are?

How do you feel about people that ask you to remind them about something later? You know those people, "oh, remind me to get my keys before we leave home". Is this adding to an individual's mental load or is it cuter than that?

Dion then tells us about a recent visit to the dentist where he had eaten a poppy seed bagel immediately before being seen. He then takes us through his new flossing technique. We then talk about when we brush our teeth in the morning. Do you sometimes skip a brush? Will you brush before breakfast and then after breakfast? How conscious are you of your breath during the day? 

We also play Oh Wow Of The Week and Time To Think

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For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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We're back for Season 8 baby! To kick it all off, Christian takes aim at Josh for giving him 1 hour to confirm he was available for a catchup before making other plans.

Josh tell us about his frustration at some unsaved numbers in a friendly WhatsApp thread which leads us to ask - when should you add someone as a contact in your phone? What makes a person worthy of contact status? After exploring what the threshold is for saving them, we then look at what makes us delete a number from our phone? Finally we explore what's needed to transition a work colleague into a friend?  

After trying to recruit players for their AFL7s team, Christian and Dion kick off the conversation around when an item you own can no longer be considered new? Is it about the price of the item? Maybe it's about how long you're planning on owning it for. Is something no longer new just because it's dirty? What about buying a used item? Do you introduce it as your 'new used' product? When do you start using your new product like a normal product you don't really care that much about?

Games

• Horrorscopes
• Copy Cat (Champagne Cork Pop)

Socials

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Patreon 

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Christian Guests on the "Cooks" Podcast

Hear Christian pronounce great Italian things as he guests on the podcast, Cooks with host James Pattison.

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/cooks/id1660151496?i=1000593059459 

Cooks is a podcast about all the good stuff. Food. Cooking. Conversation. Each episode James goes over to someone's house, they cook for him, and they have a chat.

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As summer heats up (or you're listening to this in winter and have got the heater on really high), it's time we taught you how to beat the heat!

We start by talking about the moment we 'know summer has arrived', the ozone layer and how we fixed the whole CFC thing?!! Right? Dion then takes us through UV ratings, we talk methods for applying sunscreen and asking people to rub sunscreen into your back. We then look at the factors that inform how we dress on a warm day, looking for the perfect amount of sun and Christian ponders 'what is beach?' Finally, we deep dive into the ways we stay cool when feeling hot - wet face washers, spritz on the face, rolling to the cool side of the bed, perfect positioning of your fan, billowing linen clothing.   

We also play Patchwork of the Day and Time To Think

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For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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Grab a handful of canvas bags and a gold coin because Welcome to Patchwork is teaching you how to go grocery shopping.

What prompts you to go grocery shopping? How do you manage your shopping list? What's your shopping strategy once you step foot inside the supermarket? If you lose the person you're with, how do you find them? Should you ever shop on an empty stomach? This Patch is full of big questions with tiny answers. In fact, the answers are so small you can barely hear them. What you will hear is Christian taking Josh and Dion through his jazz shopping; Josh reflecting on his Dad's 'late night shopping' escapades and Dion's obsession with the price of raspberries.

We also play Scrolling Through Time and Really Good

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In Patch 111, we rip the sticky tape off our cardboard packaging and chat all things recycling.

We begin by asking ourselves why we recycle. Is it for the environment? Or is it to avoid the scorn of others? We explore why Josh goes through his housemate's rubbish, the magic and mystery of where our rubbish goes and the history of our attitude towards recycling. We then shift gears and talk about buying and selling secondhand goods, product lifecycles, the necessary inclusions of an online ad and giving away products to people who care. Finally, Dion adds another exceptional story into the annals of Patchwork history that involves an ex-AFL player and a bar fridge.

We also play Sound Check (Soft Drinks).

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In Patch 110, we cloak our jackets, skip the queue and talk all things waiting in line.

We start by exploring each of our first instincts when approaching a line. Josh establishes the core types of line: single, mess and multi-stream, whilst Christian declares himself a Line Captain. Is Dion cutthroat? Does he call out a line cutter? We discuss some of the best, worst and most embarrassing lines. Josh flips the narrative and tells us about his experience as a cowboy bartender who needs to wrangle lines. Finally we consider the forgotten line, the telephone queue and Christian rages out against people who try engaging in meaningful line chit-chat.

We also debut a new game, Team Of The Century (Pencil Case edition) and play Oh Wow.

Watch this episode on YouTube: youtube.com/watch?v=eJLwchwFfJ8

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For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

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In Patch 109, we roll around in the mud, feed from the trough and eventually discuss all things clutter and collectibles.

We start by exploring how to best hide clutter in your very own home. Whether it's in piles, hidden in storage containers or blocking a robot vacuum, our clutter manifests in very different forms. But what even is a pile? And what is a container, if not simply a place to store your piles. We then dive into sentimental clutter. Can it ever be thrown out given the memories it evokes? Can a photo of the item still hold that same sentimental value? Josh poses the question to Dion and Josh - can you ask housemates to chip in on a purchase for the house. As usual, Christian and Dion attempt to rip Josh apart. Finally, we talk about collections and what weird things we've accumulated over time.

We also play Wheel of Fortune Cookie and Time To Think.

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.