Why is it that competing with a man to get a promotion, lead a project, or influence a decision can feel so satisfying, while competing with a woman can feel so uncomfortable? And why is normal, healthy conflict between women often seen as a catfight?

First up, a listener revisits an experience from early in her career when she felt pitted against the only other woman on her team, who she had hoped would be a mentor, not a rival. Then, Leah Sheppard draws on her research to explain how stereotyping and gender inequity can shape the way women think about and approach competition at work.

Our HBR reading list:

HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, by Amy Gallo

“Women Experience More Incivility at Work — Especially from Other Women,” by Allison S. Gabriel, Marcus M. Butts, and Michael T. Sliter

“The Pros and Cons of Competition Among Employees,” by Anna Steinhage, Dan Cable, and Duncan Wardley

“How Masculinity Contests Undermine Organizations, and What to Do About It,” by Jennifer L. Berdahl, Peter Glick, and Marianne Cooper

Email us: womenatwork@hbr.org

Our theme music is Matt Hill’s “City In Motion,” provided by Audio Network.