Everyone has that phase they'd rather not talk about. For some, it's when they wore JNCO jeans. For others, it's when they thought that two-tone ska tattoo was a good idea; or when dating skaters seemed cool.

If the 1990s were a woman, Steven Seagal would be the phase she wishes she could forget.

But we're braver than that, so we're diving into his best work, "Under Siege," to see if there's anything we can salvage from the murky depths of bad action flicks.

Big D, Roger Roeper, and Gene Lyons also cover masturbating to Cher, stealing tags from lingerie, Gary Busey's magnificent insanity, proper bomb-making, proper accent usage, and improper ways to treat young actresses. 

Ponytails, a peacetime military, horrid costuming, and the worst Navy Seals since Panama are pitted against hilarious one-liners, charming Tommy Lee Jones, and bizarre fight sequences in this clear "Die Hard" ripoff. 

Seagal sucks at fighting, movie posters, and telling the truth, but we can't entirely hate him. Find out why in this swashbuckling edition of Shat the Movies, and stay tuned for a super sexy Shatout from Gene.

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Theme Song - Die Hard by Guyz Nite https://www.facebook.com/guyznite