Tread Perilously begins a month of controversial finales with the two-part ending of How I Met Your Mother.

On the night of Robin and Barney's wedding, sad sack Ted Mosby leaves early to catch a train back to New York. But while waiting on the platform, he encounters the bass player of the wedding band. This is how he met the titular mother. Decades later, he tells his children about how much he loved Robin and why their mother is a post-script in his life. Y'know, despite spending a good fifteen years with the woman.

Justin invokes the right of kanly as it still has its admirers in the Empire. Erik goes into diabetic shock from amount of saccharine used in the finale of the long-running sitcom and begins his quest to become the Mexican Charlie Day. He's also convinced Robin is really Maria Hill, agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Justin imagines the private screening room of noted feminist Joss Whedon and inadvertently reveals Tread Perilously's enemies list; which includes Outback Steakhouse, Milo Ventimiglia and Tyne Daly. He also assumes one cannot drunkenly find themselves involved in human trafficking. Erik praises the acting ability of Cobie Smulders, but nevertheless obeys the forms of kanly and plots his own revenge against Justin. Spoiler alert: it involves 7th Heaven.